Friday, October 22, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (10-22-10)

JENNY MCCARTHY ONCE DATED A CHUBBY, HAIRY GUY WHO LIVED IN A SHED:

JENNY MCCARTHY continues to offer hope . . . false though it may be . . . that pretty much any one of us is eligible for a little BUMP AND TICKLE with her. --On "Jimmy Kimmel Live", Jenny said that back when she was in her 20s, she dated a, quote, "chubby, hairy guy [who lived in a] shed." --She explained, quote, "It was one of those shacks that you buy at Wal-Mart that you stick your lawn mower in. It was a shed . . . He had like 15 blankets that he called a futon." --But one day, reality hit . . . quote, "I was laying there thinking 'Wait a minute, I'm kind of hot!' What am I doing?!'" --But Jenny added, quote, "I would date chubby, hairy guys . . . if they're nice. --"I'm open to all men. I can still love someone with a small penis. [But] he was such a jerk."


BRETT FAVRE'S WIFE IS TRYING TO PROMOTE HER NEW BOOK . . . BUT EVERYONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT HER HUSBAND'S PENIS:

This is what you call bad timing: BRETT FAVRE'S wife DEANNA has a new book out that she's trying to promote. (--It's a faith-based self-help book called "The Cure for the Chronic Life". She co-wrote it with a pastor named Shane Stanford.) --And suddenly, all anyone wants to talk about is HER HUSBAND'S PENIS. --They tried to ask her about it on "Fox & Friends", and she replied, quote, "I won't go into anything personal, but faith is really my crutch. It's gotten me through many struggles." --She handled the question the same way when it was asked on "Good Morning America". She said, quote, "Obviously I'm a woman of faith, and faith has gotten me through many difficult struggles. It will get me through this one."
(--Here's video from "GMA" . . .)
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=7ba0881e-3517-4324-b9b0-b00131aa26d9


KATY PERRY AND RUSSELL BRAND ARE PROBABLY GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW IN INDIA:

KATY PERRY and RUSSELL BRAND are in India . . . and the word is they're getting married tomorrow. --They're reportedly having a Hindu ceremony at a tiger sanctuary, in front of about 80 guests. --Katy was even seen wearing a nose ring that's traditionally worn by Indian brides. It's called a "NATH" . . . and it's one of those rings that goes through one of the nostrils, and is then attached to the ear by a chain. --It's a symbolic thing. The bride wears it until her wedding night, when the groom removes it as a symbol of the end of her virginity.


IS MILEY CYRUS GETTING MARRIED?

I think we can blow this one off as a baseless rumor: The "National Enquirer" claims that MILEY CYRUS and LIAM HEMSWORTH are getting married soon. --Miley turns 18 on November 23rd, and a so-called "source" says that Miley's dad, BILLY RAY CYRUS, is all for the wedding once she's legal. Liam is 20.


IS CAMERON DIAZ THROUGH WITH ALEX RODRIGUEZ?

That guy who tried to crash the Yankee game Monday night to attack ALEX RODRIGUEZ for dating CAMERON DIAZ might have gone after the wrong guy. --The word is that Cameron is THROUGH with A-Rod . . . and possibly dating someone else. --She was seen hanging out with a new man in London the other night.


PAMELA ANDERSON IS DOING "PLAYBOY" AGAIN:

Just in time for Christmas, the airbrushers and Photoshoppers at "Playboy" are going to get some fat overtime checks . . . because 43-year-old PAMELA ANDERSON is posing nude again. --She'll be in the January 2011 issue, frolicking in a pool, in an homage to the 1960 Italian flick "La Dolce Vita".


MARIA SHARAPOVA AND L.A. LAKER SASHA VUJACIC ARE ENGAGED:

TMZ says that tennis minx MARIA SHARAPOVA and Los Angeles Laker SASHA VUJACIC are engaged. He popped the question this past Tuesday at his home in Manhattan Beach, California. --There's no word yet on wedding plans.


CHRISTINA AGUILERA APPEARED WITH SOME BRUISES ON HER FACE JUST BEFORE FILING FOR DIVORCE:

Just days before CHRISTINA AGUILERA filed for divorce from Jordan Bratman, she went to the hospital with some FACIAL BRUISING. --According to sources, Jordan took Christina to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center with a bruise on her cheek and cuts on and just below her lip. There was also a lot of damage to the inside of her mouth. --Jordan reportedly told the nurses that Christina had fallen down. She ended up getting some stitches on her lip. --Obviously, everyone's wondering if there was domestic violence here. --Christina's reps have yet to comment . . . but a so-called "source" close to Christina says there was no domestic violence . . . quote, "She fell. It was a simple fall, nothing else."


CHRISTINA AGUILERA IS PRETTY DEPRESSED ABOUT HER DIVORCE:

CHRISTINA AGUILERA tells the new issue of "Redbook" magazine that she's pretty depressed about her divorce. --She says, quote, "It's not easy, and there have been a lot of tears and sadness. It's impossible to redefine yourself and your life overnight. --"Thankfully, I have my mom and a small group of close friends who are there for me 24-7 and whom I can trust and depend on. --"On days when it feels impossible to even get out of bed, much less function as a mother, their support and encouragement have kept me moving forward." --Being a mother to her son Max . . . who'll be 3 in January . . . is helping to keep her spirits up. She says, quote, "Thankfully, I have Max to keep me on a sane path. --"His needs and happiness are my top priorities, and my biggest concern is to protect him and make him feel safe." --Christina refuses to go into detail about the split, though. She says, quote, "Out of respect for my husband, I prefer to keep the specifics private. Right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to make it through each day."


DIANNA AGRON FROM "GLEE" *KIND OF* APOLOGIZED FOR THOSE PICTURES SHE SHOT FOR "GQ":

DIANNA AGRON from "Glee" has KIND OF apologized for those pictures she shot with cast mates LEA MICHELE and COREY MONTEITH for "GQ" magazine. But at the same time, she doesn't seem to totally regret doing them. -In a blog post yesterday, she said, quote, "At the time, it wasn't my favorite idea, but I did not walk away . . . I'm moving forward from this one, and after today, putting it to rest. I am only myself, I can only be me. --"These aren't photos I'm going to frame and put on my desk, but hey, nor are any of the photos I take for magazines. Those are all characters we've played for this crazy job, one that I love and am so fortunate to have, each and every day." --She added, quote, "Nobody is perfect, and these photos do not represent who I am." --HOWEVER . . . she also said, quote, "If you are hurt or these photos make you uncomfortable, it was never our intention. --"And if your eight-year-old has a copy of our 'GQ' cover in hand, again I am sorry. But I would have to ask, how on earth did it get there?"


BILLY RAY CYRUS DOESN'T MIND THE "GLEE" PHOTOS IN "GQ" . . . AND THAT KIND OF MATTERS BECAUSE HE'S ON THE BOARD OF THE PARENTS TELEVISION COUNCIL:

If you're ever taking a vocabulary test and you're struggling for the definition of the word IRONY, just remember this little piece of information and you'll be fine: --BILLY RAY CYRUS . . . whose 17-year-old daughter is pushing the boundaries of underage sexuality to unprecedented levels . . . is on the board of the Parents Television Council. --But he may not be on it much longer. It turns out that Billy Ray has had some serious disagreements with the rest of the group lately. --The first time was when they issued a statement criticizing Miley's latest music video, "Who Owns My Heart". Billy Ray wasn't consulted about that beforehand, and he obviously wasn't cool with it. --Now, TMZ says he's, quote, "disappointed" with their reaction to those sexy "Glee" pictures in the new issue of "GQ". -A so-called "source" says Billy Ray is getting fed up with the PTC because he feels like it has, quote, "recently been spending all its time attacking people rather than promoting family television."


LINDSAY LOHAN LEFT REHAB YESTERDAY TO PREPARE FOR THIS MORNING'S HEARING:

LINDSAY LOHAN left the Betty Ford Center yesterday. We assume she spent the night in her own bed, in preparation for this morning's court hearing. --As we heard earlier this week, Judge Elden Fox refused to meet with Lindsay's attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, before the hearing. And Lindsay's camp is taking that as a sign that he's going to throw the book at her. --Their hope is that he'll just let Lindsay go back to rehab. But it's entirely possible that Judge Fox will send her back to jail for 30 days. --In case you've forgotten, the reason Lindsay is in trouble again is because she failed one of her court-ordered drug tests over the summer. She supposedly tested positive for cocaine. --On Wednesday, Lindsay received a visit at Betty Ford from her hot-but-irresponsible mom, DINA LOHAN. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "She told me she saw Lindsay and she's feeling really well and doing great. Now, they're just anxiously awaiting Friday's court appearance." (--The hearing begins at 8:30 A.M. Pacific Time.)


NEW MOVIES THIS WEEKEND


MATT DAMON'S "HEREAFTER" IS UP AGAINST "PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2":

#1.) "Paranormal Activity 2" (R)

It turns out that the sequel to last year's surprise hit is actually a prequel. This time the action takes place at the home of Katie's sister and her unsuspecting husband. And since it's a prequel, Katie's back too. --The movie opens a few months before the events of the first "Paranormal Activity", but it eventually catches up to the present. Meaning fans of the first film will also get a little more insight into what happened after the first movie ended.

Trailer 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07XbSk7Rjt4

Trailer 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asI3ykxZA-4


#2.) "Hereafter" (PG-13)

Clint Eastwood's new movie has Matt Damon as a reluctant psychic trying to lead a normal life, despite being able to talk to the dead. Comedian Jay Mohr plays his older brother and Bryce Dallas Howard plays a woman that Matt Damon is dating. --There's also a French chick who survives a tsunami, and a British boy whose twin dies in a car crash. The storylines eventually come together, presumably with Matt Damon embracing his gift and bringing everyone inner peace. Or something.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwb73CSW74w

Official Site: http://hereafter.warnerbros.com/

#3.) "The Company Men" (R)

Ben Affleck plays a successful executive who loses his job, and then has to swallow his pride and take a construction gig building houses for his brother-in-law, played by Kevin Costner. It also stars Tommy Lee Jones, Chris Cooper, and Craig T. Nelson.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPohmhNFwi4

Official Site (such as it is): http://www.thecompanymenfilm.com/


MEL GIBSON WON'T DO A CAMEO IN "THE HANGOVER 2" . . . BECAUSE SOME CAST MEMBERS OBJECTED TO IT:

MEL GIBSON won't be doing a cameo in "The Hangover 2" after all. The idea was nixed because some cast and crew members were against it. -Director TODD PHILLIPS says, quote, "I thought Mel would have been great in the movie . . . But I realize filmmaking is a collaborative effort, and this decision ultimately did not have the full support of my entire cast and crew." --We don't know WHO objected. But interestingly enough, ZACH GALIFIANAKIS spoke earlier this week about something that was bugging him on the set. --He said, quote, "I'm in a deep protest right now with a movie I'm working on, up in arms about something. But I can't get the guys to [listen] . . . I'm not making any leeway . . . It's very frustrating."


BRITISH ACTOR MARTIN FREEMAN WILL PLAY BILBO BAGGINS IN "THE HOBBIT":

British actor MARTIN FREEMAN will play Bilbo Baggins in the "Hobbit" movies. Martin played Tim in the original, British version of "The Office". (--He's the equivalent of Jim in the American version.) --His film credits include "Shaun of the Dead", "Hot Fuzz" and "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". --Filming on "The Hobbit" . . . which will be split into two movies . . . begins in February. PETER JACKSON is directing.



WILL DISNEY CUT KEITH RICHARDS FROM THE NEXT "PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN" MOVIE?

There's a rumor going around that Disney wants to cut KEITH RICHARDS' cameo from the new "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie now that his autobiography has come out, and people are hearing all manner of unsavory details about his life. --One of the things in the book they particularly object to is a passage that gives tips on doing drugs safely. --Keith writes, quote, "It's not only the high quality of drugs I had that I attribute my survival to. I was very meticulous about how much I took. I'd never put more in to get a little higher. That's where most people (eff) up on drugs. (--This is a JOKE. Disney knows who Keith Richards is. And they knew who he was when they put him in the last "Pirates" flick. I'd be shocked if there was ANY truth to this whatsoever.)


CONAN O'BRIEN HAS LINED UP SOME BIG-NAME GUESTS FOR THE FIRST WEEK OF HIS NEW SHOW:

CONAN O'BRIEN has lined up an impressive list of celebrity guests for the premiere week of his new TBS show, "Conan" . . . which debuts on November 8th.

--Here's the current roster . . . according to Deadline.com:

--Monday, November 8th: Seth Rogen and musical guest Jack White.

--Tuesday, November 9th: Tom Hanks, "30 Rock" star Jack McBrayer and musical guest Soundgarden.

--Wednesday, November 10th: "Mad Men" stud Jon Hamm, comedienne Charlyne Yi . . . who was in "Knocked Up", "Semi-Pro" and that Michael Cera romantic comedy "Paper Heart" . . . and musical guest Fistful of Mercy.

--Thursday, November 11th: Michael Cera, Julie Bowen from "Modern Family" . . . and comedian Jon Dore.
(--Tom Hanks was a guest on the final episode of Conan's "Tonight Show" . . . and the WHITE STRIPES performed on Conan's last "Late Night" show.) --By the way, Conan has also set up a poll on his website, where you can vote for "potential guests" for his first episode. He has 12 options listed. --You can vote up to once a day by Tweeting your choice with the tag, #ConansFirstGuest.
-Some of them are clearly jokes, but some are possible . . . so it's unclear if the whole thing is just for fun, or if someone on the list could be a special guest. --The poll options include: Pope Benedict the 16th . . . Vladimir Putin . . . the Sultan of Brunei . . . Justin Bieber . . . Lady Gaga . . . Jack Nicholson . . . REO Speedwagon . . . and "Tom," the founder of MySpace.
(--You can check out the complete list . . . along with their mini-bios, and the votes they've accumulated so far, here . . .)
http://www.teamcoco.com/firstguestpoll
(--Interestingly enough, as of late last night, Jack Nicholson was shredding the competition . . . while Justin Bieber was in LAST PLACE. He was even trailing the Sultan of Brunei and some chemist who won a Pulitzer Prize in 2007.)


KELLY RIPA AND HER HUSBAND WILL STAR IN A SITCOM TOGETHER:

KELLY RIPA and her husband MARK CONSUELOS are developing a sitcom for ABC called "Port Love". --According to Deadline.com, it's, quote, "a workplace comedy set at a formerly popular network series, [which] revolves around the cast and crew who have more backstage drama in their lives than in the actual show they're working on." --So in other words, it'll have a set-up similar to shows like "30 Rock", "The Larry Sanders Show", "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and the new show E! is developing called "After Lately", which will be set behind the scenes of "Chelsea Lately". --Mark will star in it, and Kelly will appear on a recurring basis. There aren't any other details . . . like when it might hit TV. (--Naturally, this won't affect Kelly's gig on "Live with Regis and Kelly". She didn't have a problem pulling double-duty when she starred in that sitcom "Hope & Faith" a while back.)


DAVID HASSELHOFF'S NEW REALITY SHOW HAS A PREMIERE DATE:

A&E has announced that DAVID HASSELHOFF'S new reality show, "The Hasselhoffs", will premiere on December 5th at 10:00 P.M. -The show will follow The Hoff as he tries to help his daughters . . . 18-year-old Hayley and 20-year-old Taylor Ann . . . launch their singing careers. (--While THEY try to help HIM stop eating hamburgers on the floor.)


FRIDAY TV REMINDERS:

--"Say Yes To the Dress" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on TLC.

--"Primetime: The Best of What Would You Do?" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.

--"Dateline NBC" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Former NASA administrator Sean O'Keefe speaks with Ann Curry. He survived the August 2010 plane crash in Alaska that killed senator Ted Stevens, along with four others.)

--"Martin Lawrence Presents 1st Amendment Stand-Up" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Starz. (--Sheryl Underwood hosts Roman Murray, Ian Edwards and Ray Lipowski.)

SATURDAY TV REMINDERS:

--"The Boy Who Cried Werewolf" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Nickelodeon. (--"Victorious" star Victoria Justice plays a high school student who steps on a vial of werewolf blood and becomes a she-wolf.)

--"Austin City Limits" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. (--Alejandro Escovedo and Trombone Shorty perform.)

--"Iconoclasts" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Sundance. (--Cate Blanchett and eco-scientist Tim Flannery discuss going green, fighting climate change and the reintroduction of extinct animals.)

--"Pit Boss" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Animal Planet.

--"24/7" [10th Season Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on HBO. (--Liev Schreiber narrates as boxers Manny Pacquiao and Antonio Margarito begin training for their upcoming title fight to claim the vacated super-welterweight belt.) (--Sergio Martinez stepped aside after also claiming the middleweight belt.)

--"Donnell Rawlings: From Ashy to Classy" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on Comedy Central. (--Comedian Donnell Rawlings performs.)

--"That Metal Show" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 Classic. (--This week's guests are Van Halen's Michael Anthony, plus "Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp" host Carrie Keagan and Kip Winger.)

--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Emma Stone guest hosts and Kings of Leon is the musical guest.)

SUNDAY TV REMINDERS:

--"Sunday Night Football" . . . 8:20 to 11:20 P.M. Eastern on NBC. (--The Green Bay Packers host the Minnesota Vikings at Lambeau Field in Wisconsin.)

--"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Christie Brinkley and "Blind Side" mom Leigh Anne Tuohy help rebuild a Pennsylvania log cabin for a widow and her young daughter.)

--"Desperate Housewives" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Singer Dana Glover performs in a cabaret show with saxophonist Dave Koz.)

--"Undercover Boss" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. (--NASCAR senior vice president and chief marketing officer Steve Phelps goes to work undercover with the Daytona 500 pit crew and ground crew as they prepare for the Daytona 500.)

--"Keeping Up With the Kardashians" [5th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on E!


--"Football Wives" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on VH1. (--The wives of Dallas football stars are profiled. Among the famous pairs are Deion & Pilar Sanders, George & Chanita Foster, and Rocket & Melani Ismail.)



THE BLACK EYED PEAS HAVE RELEASED A NEW SINGLE THAT BORROWS HEAVILY FROM THE "DIRTY DANCING" SONG "(I'VE HAD) THE TIME OF MY LIFE":

The BLACK EYED PEAS have released a new single called "The Time (the Dirty Bit)". It's the first single off their next album, "The Beginning", which hits stores on November 30th. --The chorus borrows from the '80s classic "(I've Had) The Time of My Life", which was basically the "Dirty Dancing" theme song. (--The original version was recorded by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes.) --And when I say "borrows", I mean "heavily borrows." In fact, at times it sounds like they're just covering "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" . . . with FERGIE singing Jennifer Warnes' part. (--You can check it out, here . . .)
http://dipdive.com/member/iamwill/media/152490
--But the Peas didn't STEAL anything. Franke Previte, who co-wrote the original, says, quote, "We got a request. They sent us an MP3 of what it's gonna be. I had no idea. The Peas actually sing the chorus . . . it's not a sample. --He adds that when he heard the Peas' version, he LOVED it . . . quote, "I had a big grin on my face. Black Eyed Peas are a world-renowned group, so it's nice to get that kind of recognition for a song that's 23 years old. --"I have this saying . . . if the Beatles wrote 'Yesterday' today, it'd be a hit. I feel pretty happy 'Time of My Life' is a song that keeps giving."


ELTON JOHN AND LADY GAGA ARE DOING A DUET FOR DISNEY:

ELTON JOHN and LADY GAGA will record a duet. The song is called "Hello, Hello", and it'll appear in the upcoming Disney movie, "Gnomeo & Juliet". --The movie is basically what it sounds like: The classic "Romeo and Juliet" story told through animated garden gnomes. It hits theaters on February 11th. (--"Hello, Hello" will play at a pivotal moment: When Gnomeo and Juliet first meet. The characters will be voiced by JAMES MCAVOY and EMILY BLUNT.)


U2 IS WORKING WITH DANGER MOUSE ON THEIR NEXT ALBUM:

U2 is in the process of recording their next album with DANGER MOUSE . . . a producer who you know best as "the other guy" in GNARLS BARKLEY. --BONO says they have 12 songs already . . . and are hoping to get the album out sometime next spring. The disc is tentatively titled "Songs of Ascent".


THE CARS *HAVE* REUNITED, WE THINK:

There's been a lot of speculation about a CARS reunion over the past few months . . . and now Billboard.com is confirming that the band has reunited and is working on their first new album in 23 years. Oh, and there might be a tour, too. --None of this is official yet, but last week, a 73-second sample of a new song called "Blue Tip" was posted on the band's Facebook page. (--Check it out . . .)
http://www.facebook.com/TheCars?ref=ts
(--A FULL reunion isn't possible because bassist BENJAMIN ORR . . . who sang several of their songs, including "Drive" . . . died of pancreatic cancer in 2000.)


AND NOW . . . KANYE WEST IS RANTING ABOUT THE GRAMMYS:

KANYE WEST created a HUGE MESS when he stormed the stage and second-guessed TAYLOR SWIFT'S win at last year's "MTV Video Music Awards". --He's STILL apologizing for that . . . but it hasn't stopped him from critiquing award shows. From afar, at least. His latest target is the Grammys. --He recently told "Access Hollywood", quote, "Where's our instant replay clock? Why are the last four Albums of the Year: Taylor Swift, Dixie Chicks, Ray Charles and Herbie Hancock? --"Like, you know, with all due respect . . . that's inaccurate." (--Kanye's memory is also inaccurate. To clarify, Taylor won this year, Herbie won in 2008, the Dixie Chicks won in 2007 and Ray Charles won in 2005.) (--He skipped over Robert Plant and Alison Krauss who won in 2009 . . . and U2 who won in 2006.) --So who DID deserve to win, in Kanye's mind? --"[Justin Timberlake's] 'FutureSex / LoveSounds', Gnarls Barkley. How about Usher'S 'Confessions'? How about albums that sold 10 million?" (--Justin and Gnarls Barkley were both nominated in 2007, but lost out to the Dixie Chicks. Usher was nominated in 2005, but lost out to Ray Charles.) (--Interestingly enough, Kanye's debut album, "The College Dropout", was also nominated in 2005.) (--Actually, Kanye's first three albums were all up for the award. "Late Registration" lost to U2 . . . and "Graduation" lost to Herbie Hancock.) --Kanye added, quote, "I pinpoint the Grammys and the VMAs because they have to take responsibility, because they mean something to us. Little kids, six years [old], that are singing in front of the mirror. --"They're also thinking about their Grammy speech . . . they're thinking about when there will be a VMA so these people, whoever run them . . . they have to take some responsibility to say what really happened in culture this year because we're marking it down."


NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

WHICH DAYS OF THE WEEK ARE BEST FOR A FIRST DATE, ASKING FOR A RAISE, QUITTING SMOKING, AND HAVING SEX?

The "London Sun" compiled the results of a bunch of studies and surveys to figure out which days of the week are the best times to do all kinds of things . . . from quitting smoking to having sex to going to the hospital. Check it out . . .

--MONDAY is the best day to de-stress, because it's also the day you're most likely to die of a heart attack. It's also the best day to stay home, because of the worst traffic jams. And it's the worst day to start a diet . . . 33% will fail by Tuesday night.

--TUESDAY is our most productive day, so it's the best time to tackle your to-do list. People also have the least sex on Tuesdays, so it's the best time to get some sleep.

--WEDNESDAY is the best day for a first date. It's also the best day to ask for a raise: Bosses are most likely to listen on a Wednesday because it's generally the least-busy day at the office.

--THURSDAY is the best day to go to the hospital because they're usually the least busy . . . no one wants to ruin their weekend by going on a Thursday. It's also the best day to have sex.

--FRIDAY is the best time to quit smoking, because it's right before the weekend, where temptations are the highest . . . but your willpower is fresh enough that you can get past those temptations and make it through, smoke-free.

--SATURDAY is the best day to have a baby. For whatever reason, kids born on Saturdays somehow end up statistically better off than other kids.

--SUNDAY is the best day for eating out, because preparing a Sunday night dinner is the most stressful meal to cook. It's also the best day to read your email: People catch up on personal email on Sundays more than any other day. (London Sun)


WOMEN DONATE MORE MONEY TO CHARITY THAN MEN:

According to a new study, no matter how much money they make, women are more likely to donate to charity . . . and donate more money to charity . . . than men. (--Although, keep in mind, this study was compiled by women, so take the math for what it's worth. KIDDING! I'M KIDDING! Quit jiggling in anger!) --Whether women made less than $23,000, more than $103,000, or anywhere in between, they were more likely to donate than men. --And across all income levels, women were also more likely to donate a larger amount of money. --The only exception, for whatever reason, is people who make $23,509 to $43,500 . . . at that income level, men donate more money than women. --In fact, that's the income level where men donate the MOST, even more than men who make over $103,000. (--There's a whole rant about the rich staying richer hiding somewhere in there, but it's too sad to talk about.) --The team behind the study says it makes sense . . . women tend to be wired to donate to charity, and now that they're making more money than ever, they can be more generous than in the past. (Associated Press)


A MAN IN CANADA FINDS A BABY IN A DUMPSTER . . . AND HE TURNS OUT TO BE THE FATHER:

This sounds like the most effed up episode of the "Maury Povich" show EVER. It's about a guy from Calgary, in Alberta, Canada. His name hasn't been released yet, but when you hear the story, you'll realize it's probably better that way. --On Wednesday morning, he was walking home when he saw a girl standing by a dumpster. And the girl told him, quote, "I think I hear a baby in the dumpster." --So the man ran over, jumped in, and the girl was right . . . there WAS a baby in the dumpster. --He took the baby out, called the police, and they started trying to piece together what happened. Eventually they connected the baby to a 29-year-old woman who lived in the area. And as it turns out . . . it was the man's girlfriend of four years. --He says that she'd been complaining about how she wasn't feeling well . . . but he had NO IDEA she was pregnant. And NEITHER DID SHE. --The man says she was still having her "time of the month," her appearance hadn't changed, and, quote, "She's a heavy eater, always was a bigger girl. When I first met her, you would almost assume she [was] pregnant, and she wasn't." --Amazingly, the baby looks like he's going to pull through . . . even though he spent the first two hours of his life locked in a dumpster. The man says he's going to fight to get custody. --As for his girlfriend, she's undergoing a psychiatric evaluation. She's facing charges of attempted murder, failing to provide the necessities of life, and child abandonment. (Calgary Herald)


THREE SONS REFUSE TO PULL THE PLUG ON THEIR MOTHER AFTER SHE'S DECLARED DEAD . . . AND SHE WAKES UP A FEW HOURS LATER:

It's stories like this one that make it so damn hard for people to PULL THE PLUG . . . even though this is BY FAR the exception and not the norm. --In Bordeaux, France, 60-year-old Lydie Paillard was declared, quote, "clinically dead" at a hospital and the doctors told her three sons it was time to pull the plug. They refused. And a few hours later . . . LYDIE WOKE UP. --Lydie currently has cancer, and earlier this week, doctors at a private hospital called Bordeaux Rive Droite started her on a chemotherapy session. As soon as it started, she passed out. --The doctors tried to resuscitate her but couldn't. So they consulted and broke the news to Lydie's sons that she was, quote, "very certainly clinically dead." They told them to turn off the respirator. --The sons refused, and had their mother transferred to the university hospital in Bordeaux. They did a brain scan, found that Lydie was NOT brain dead . . . and after being passed out for a total of 14 hours, she woke up. --She told her sons, quote, "I feel so good, I had a wonderful sleep." --The hospital that declared her dead says this was a, quote, "communication problem." The Paillards are now considering taking legal action against the hospital. (AFP)


A MAN IS ARRESTED FOR HITTING HIS GIRLFRIEND WITH A MUSTARD-COVERED CORN DOG?

I will never, ever condone domestic violence . . . but I feel like this arrest used a pretty liberal definition of it. --48-year-old Tommie Lee McKeliver of Fort Pierce, Florida was arrested for hitting his girlfriend with . . . a corn dog. --Tommie and his live-in girlfriend were arguing, and he happened to be eating a corn dog at the time. As the fight escalated, he threw his paper plate at her. But his corn dog was stuck to some mustard on the plate. --According to the police, the corn dog hit Tommie's girlfriend in the chest and left her, quote, "coated" in mustard. --She wasn't injured, but she still called the cops. --They arrested Tommie for domestic battery and resisting arrest without violence. --That resisting charge came because when the cops arrived, they asked Tommie for his name, and he responded, quote, "[Eff] you, you fat white [mothereffers], I ain't gonna tell you my name." (Palm Beach Post)


A MAN IMPERSONATES A COP IN ORDER TO GET A DISCOUNT ON . . . A MCDONALD'S BREAKFAST:

On Monday, 26-year-old Andrew Berkos of Joliet, Illinois was arrested for impersonating a police officer . . . to try to get a discount on his McDonald's breakfast. --Andrew went to a McDonald's in Joliet and ordered a breakfast meal. The police report didn't say which meal, but none of them really exceed the $3 to $5 range. --He demanded a discount, and showed the employees a piece of paper with the Department of Defense seal on it. He said that was his police ID. --The employees were suspicious for two reasons. One, a cop would probably show a badge, not a piece of paper with the seal of an unrelated federal government department. --And two, the local cops know this McDonald's doesn't give them discounts. --When the real police got there, Andrew was arrested for impersonating a peace officer, which is a felony. He was also on parole at the time for theft and unauthorized use of a credit card. (Joliet Herald-News)


FOR $200, PARENTS IN MARYLAND CAN NOW RENT A DRUG-SNIFFING DOG TO FIND THEIR KID'S STASH:

If you're worried your kid is hiding drugs in his room . . . but you don't want to actually talk to him about it like a responsible parent . . . this is how you handle things. In Maryland, parents can now rent DRUG-SNIFFING DOGS to find their kid's stash. --A nonprofit group called Dogs Finding Drugs rents out the drug-sniffing dogs for $200 an hour. Parents, companies and schools have all taken them up on the service . . . and they say their service is extremely popular. --If any drugs are found, Dogs Finding Drugs doesn't confiscate them or call the police . . . that's all on the person who hired them. (Baltimore Sun)


AN EMPLOYEE STOPS A ROBBERY AT WORK . . . BECAUSE HE WAS NAPPING ON THE JOB:

This might be the first documented case where a worker napped on the job . . . and ended up SAVING his company money. --The guy's name hasn't been released, but he works in the warehouse of an electronics store called AVAC in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. --On Wednesday, he was working the graveyard shift. And around 1:00 A.M., he headed to the back of the store to nap on the job. About 15 minutes later, he was woken up by some loud noises. --And when he opened his eyes, he saw that a group of robbers had cut a hole in the wall . . . RIGHT by where he was sleeping . . . and were stealing flat-screen TVs. --So the worker yelled at them, and the robbers took off. They only managed to get away with ONE flat screen. --A police dog tracked the suspects to an apartment complex, but they still haven't figured out who broke into the store. --There's also no word on whether this guy's bosses think he's a hero for foiling a robbery . . . or whether they're going to discipline him now that they have proof he sleeps on the job. (Myrtle Beach Sun News)


WHILE THE ANGRY JETBLUE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WAS IN COURT PLEADING GUILTY, HIS HOUSE WAS ROBBED:

It looks like STEVEN SLATER is surrounded by JUST enough crazy that his fifteen minutes of fame are going to get extended.
-Steven is that JetBlue flight attendant who got a ton of attention in August when he cursed out a rude passenger, pulled the plane's emergency chute, grabbed two beers, slid down, then went home to have MANLY relations with his boyfriend. --Well, on October 14th, Steven was in court, pleading guilty to two counts of attempted criminal mischief for the incident. And now, the news has come out that while he was there . . . his house in Belle Harbor, New York was burglarized. --The burglar wasn't a stranger, either. It was 39-year-old Jonathan Rochelle . . . who just so happens to be the drug addict brother of Steven's boyfriend. --While Steven was in court, Jonathan broke into the house and stole a laptop, a printer, and a microwave. --If Jonathan is convicted, he's facing up to 15 years in prison. --As for Steven, he'll get no jail time for pulling the chute. He does have to do a year of counseling and substance abuse treatment, and pay JetBlue $10,000. (New York Daily News)


FRIDAY'S SILLY QUICK HITS


The funniest unintentionally sexual album covers:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/21/unintentionally-sexual-album-covers_n_770585.html


If the founding fathers had their way, here are 11 freedoms they'd have banned, including extra-marital sex, homosexuality, divorce, dancing, gambling, and drinking:

http://www.alternet.org/media/148518/11_freedoms_that_drunks,_slackers,_prostitutes_and_pirates_pioneered_and_the_founding_fathers_opposed_/?page=entire


Is the iPhone the best pacifier for a fussy toddler?

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/message-to-parents-keep-your-kids-tiny-hands-off-the-iphone-2401313/


Sex.com sells for $13 million:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/10/20/domain_name_sale/


An 11-year-old cheerleader is thrown off the squad for refusing to "shake booty":

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39756458/ns/today-today_people/


A cigarette smoker tosses his butt in the grass, and starts a fire. But he's unable to get away, since he's in a wheelchair:

http://www.cfnews13.com/article/news/2010/october/163842/Cigarette-smoking-man-in-wheelchair-sets-himself,-field-on-fire


A dad sprays his newborn daughter with mace in argument with the mother:

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20101021/NEWS010701/310210021/Dad-maced-baby-police-say


NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY


#1.) SHAQUILLE O'NEAL POSED AS A STATUE IN HARVARD SQUARE:

A few weeks ago, SHAQUILLE O'NEAL announced he was going to pose as a statue in Harvard Square and let fans take pictures with him. But he said he wouldn't talk, and he wouldn't answer questions. --Well, yesterday he made good on the promise. He sat on a bench for an hour without moving, while fans lined up to take pictures. The only time he moved was to shake his head after a fan asked, quote, "Can I get tickets to the Miami game?"

(--Search for "Shaq turns into statue in Harvard Square." He poses at :50 and shakes his head at 1:41.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGNW9yXP93M


#2.) A CONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE RELEASED AN ATTACK AD THAT ATTACKED THE WRONG PERSON:

A congressional candidate in Colorado named Cory Gardner released an ad attacking his opponent, Betsy Markey, for supporting PRESIDENT OBAMA'S budget. But the problem is, Betsy DIDN'T. A congressman in Massachusetts named ED Markey did.

(--Search for "Cory Gardner ad attacks wrong Markey.")

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTInPhoByms


#3.) JON STEWART WENT ON "LARRY KING LIVE" AND MADE FUN OF CNN AND LARRY'S REPLACEMENT:

In case you missed it, JON STEWART was on "Larry King Live" Wednesday night to talk about next weekend's "Rally To Restore Sanity" in Washington D.C. --But he also used it as a chance to compare CNN to a "burning building" and call Larry's replacement, PIERS MORGAN, a quote, "British guy no one's heard of."

(--Search for "CNN Jon Stewart on rally wait and see." He rips on CNN until :29, then rips on Piers Morgan at 5:42.)

http://www.popeater.com/2010/10/21/jon-stewart-larry-king-cnn-piers-morgan/


THREE TIPS FOR FLIRTING BY TEXT MESSAGE:

Flirting over text message is tricky. Maybe you don't want to 'sext' just yet, so everyone knows the first rule is to never send dirty pictures of yourself. Unless you're over 18 and you REALLY trust the person. And even then it's a bad idea. --But flirting over text message CAN be a good thing. First of all, you can sound funnier and wittier with text messages because you have time to think about what you're going to say. And it's easier to be confident than it is over the phone.--But it's also easy to screw up. So here are three tips to help make sure you don't . . .

#1.) DON'T BE AFRAID TO USE EMOTICONS. You might think they're lame . . . which they ARE . . . but they're also the only way to let the other person know when you're being sarcastic. --And even when you're NOT being sarcastic, emoticons help make sure they KNOW you're not being sarcastic.


#2.) RESPOND IN A TIMELY FASHION. If you're flirting with someone by text message, it's more important than usual to respond quickly. The longer you wait, the less interested they'll think you are.

#3.) REREAD YOUR TEXTS BEFORE YOU HIT SEND. If your predictive text inserts the wrong word, it can COMPLETELY change what you meant to say . . . especially when you're flirting or you're trying to be funny.

--And be careful what you say when you're texting under the influence. It's not illegal, but maybe it should be. (YourTango.com)


EIGHT HALLOWEEN COSTUMES FOR THE LADIES . . . AND WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT YOU:

Halloween is next weekend, which means you're probably still scrambling to find the perfect costume. But choose carefully ladies . . . because according to the people at iVillage.com, your costume says a lot about you.

--Here are eight costumes ideas, and what they SUPPOSEDLY say about you . . .

#1.) FAIRYTALE CHARACTER. A fairytale character costume like Tinkerbell, Snow White or Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz" means you're looking for that fairytale happy ending. --If you choose a more TWISTED fairytale character . . . like a wicked witch or a Disney villain . . . it means you're playfully naughty, and that you might have some less-wholesome fantasies to act out between the sheets.


#2.) HEROIC FIGURE. Dressing up like MOTHER TERESA or JOAN OF ARC shows that you're an over-achiever, an idealist, or maybe kind of a feminist.


#3.) SEX SYMBOL. Dressing up as MARILYN MONROE or a "Playboy" bunny doesn't mean you're EASY. But it's a pretty obvious sign that you're confident about your sexuality, on the one night where it's totally socially acceptable.


#4.) CLOWN, GUY, OR OTHER "FUNNY" COSTUMES. A clown costume, a LUCILLE BALL costume, or dressing up as a GUY show that you see yourself as free-spirited and entertaining. --Women in funny costumes are totally approachable at Halloween parties . . . it shows they're fun, they have a sense of humor, and would probably be cool to spend time with.


#5.) MATCHING COUPLE. Costumes like Frankenstein and the Bride of Frankenstein, or a nurse and a doctor, shows that you're a tight pair, and your relationship's in sync.


#6.) SILLY COUPLE. Dressing like Homer and Marge Simpson, or Fred and Wilma Flinstone shows that you're a fun couple, you both know how to have fun on your OWN, and you're not going to spend the whole night connected at the hip.


#7.) SEXY COUPLE. If you want to go as a couple but spice things up a little, you can do something like Tarzan and Jane, or James Bond and a Bond girl. But it shows a BIG gender split: He's in charge, and she's the SEX OBJECT.


#8.) DOMINATRIX AND A GUY ON A LEASH. If you don't know what the roles mean here, it's not the costume for you: She's in charge, he's not.

--But it ALSO shows that the guy is really secure about himself . . . since he's allowing the public to see that he's whipped . . . literally. (iVillage)

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