Friday, February 4, 2011



Ben Roethlisberger Was At a Bar Tuesday Night . . . But Says It Was No Big Deal:

If you're on one of the two Super Bowl teams, the week before the game should rank as one of the biggest weeks of your career . . . if not THE biggest week. That's why Steelers quarterback BEN ROETHLISBERGER spent Tuesday night . . . AT A BAR. --Ben and some of his teammates . . . we don't know who, specifically . . . showed up at Pete's Dueling Piano Bar in Fort Worth, Texas at about 11:00 P.M., and stayed until 1:15 A.M. --Ben was knocking back rum and Diet Cokes, and even sang along to BILLY JOEL'S "Piano Man". -A source says Ben was, quote, "nice, fun and took care of everyone." He ran up an $800 tab, and left a $200 tip. (--Here's low-quality video of the "singing" . . . if you can call it that. Ben just joins in on the line, "Man, what are you doing here." Then the guy playing the piano says, "I'm cheering for the (effing) Steelers.") --Ben says he wasn't being bad . . . he was just following tradition . . . quote, "It was a superstition and tradition on Tuesday night. I take the linemen out to dinner. --"We went out for barbecue and then we wanted to hear some live music. We just had an enjoyable night."

Michael Vick's Party in Dallas Tonight Will Have Plenty of Security:

MICHAEL VICK may not be in the Super Bowl . . . but he's still in Dallas. And he's throwing a party tonight at a joint called the Deux Lounge. --Vick's party will have plenty of security. Which is probably a good idea, since the last time he threw a shindig at a bar, somebody got SHOT. --That was back in June, when Vick held a 30th birthday celebration for himself at a bar in Virginia Beach. -Parking lot security cam footage showed that Vick left about three minutes before the shooting, and he continues to deny he had anything to do with it. (--The victim was one of the co-defendants in his dog-fighting scandal.) --To keep the peace tonight, the Deux Lounge is bringing in extra members of its own staff . . . including three off-duty SWAT members. --On top of that, Vick is bringing in his own private security team. And even the NFL is sending some guys over. --Guests will be searched and WANDED on the way in.

Are These the 15 Hottest NFL Hunks?

For many of you ladies, we know that the best part of the Super Bowl is those hot guys with the well-toned butts in those tight, white pants. With that in mind, E! Online has put together a list of the 15 Hottest NFL Hunks. They are . . .

--Tom Brady

--Chad Ochocinco . . . (--Who recently announced he's changing his name back to Johnson.)

--Peyton and Eli Manning . . . (--Peyton and Eli were counted as one entry. Doesn't having a brother SUCK sometimes?)

--Troy Polamalu

--Terrell Owens

--Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez

--Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers

--Reggie Bush

--Tony Romo

--Cowboys receiver Miles Austin . . .

--Bears quarterback Jay Cutler . . .

--Jets linebacker Jason Taylor . . . (--Your wife or girlfriend fell in love with this guy on "Dancing with the Stars".)

--Steelers tight end Heath Miller

--Vikings receiver Hank Baskett . . .

--Vikings running back Adrian Peterson

Lil Wayne Has Dropped a Pro-Green Bay Packers Track:

LIL WAYNE is a Green Bay Packers fan . . . and so naturally, he's dropped a pro-Packers track just in time for Sunday's Super Bowl. It's called "Green & Yellow". --The lyrics include the lines: "Uh-huh, you know what it is / I'm a Cheesehead, y'all (N-words) Cheez Whiz. Pittsburgh Steelers, that's nothin' / That Super Bowl ring, that's stuntin' --"Money green, yellow broad / Aaron Rodgers, MVP award. This is Green Bay, (B-word) we go hard / This is Packer Country, where your green card? Terrible Towels, that (stuff's) borin' / We got the ball, you know we scorin'." (--You can find all the lyrics, here.) --You can listen to it, and download it for free at (--***WARNING***: This track is UNCENSORED, and does contain PROFANITY.) --Wayne proclaims "Green & Yellow" is "not a dis song," but it's a direct response to WIZ KHALIFA'S new Pittsburgh Steelers track, "Black & Yellow". (--You can watch the "Black & Yellow" video, with CENSORED lyrics, here.)

When David Blaine's Wife Went Into Labor, He Had to Flag Down a Snow Plow to Get Her to the Hospital:

Here's how bad the snow is in the Northeast . . . when magician DAVID BLAINE'S wife went into labor last week, he had to flag down a SNOW PLOW to get her to the hospital. --French model Alizee Guinochet went into labor last Wednesday . . . the same day about 19 inches of snow dropped down on New York City. --Since traffic was pretty much paralyzed, David couldn't get a taxi or a car service to take them to the hospital. So he did the only thing he could . . . he ran outside their Manhattan home and hitched them a ride in a plow. --Alizee gave birth to a healthy baby girl. There's no word on her name.

Colin Hanks Is a Dad:

TOM HANKS is a grandfather. COLIN HANKS and his wife Samantha Bryant welcomed a baby girl into the world on Tuesday. They named her Olivia Jane Hanks. (--Colin is 33 years old . . . Tom is 54.)

Did Charlie Sheen Want to Start His Own Porno Video Series Called "Charlie's Devils"?

FELONY . . . the mattress actress who claims she pimped hundreds of girls out to CHARLIE SHEEN . . . now says that Charlie wanted to start his own series of porno videos, called "Charlie's Devils". --And HE was going to perform in them. --And here's the kicker: There's a demo tape. Felony says she, Charlie and another girl filmed themselves practicing various positions. --If you're wondering what Charlie's favorite position is, Felony says Charlie told her, quote, "I like them all." --We don't know exactly what they got into, but it could be a wide range of things. Felony says, quote, "The ladies love Charlie. He likes to explore his sexuality. He likes fetish, spanking, role play, really kinky stuff." --I'm sure the big question on your mind right now is: Will we ever see the tape? And the answer is: Probably not. Because it's in Charlie's possession. --Felony says, quote, "Charlie's got the tape. I gave it to him afterwards. He was keeping it so he could practice." (--You can watch the interview here.)

Charlie Sheen Will Be Working Again by the End of the Month:

The cast and crew of "Two and a Half Men" won't be out of work too long, because CHARLIE SHEEN is going to be back on the set by the end of the month --When asked about that timetable, his rep said, quote, "I understand that is what is being targeted."

Heidi Fleiss Says Charlie Sheen is Just Keeping the Economy Moving:

In the old days, CHARLIE SHEEN used to get all his whores from HEIDI FLEISS. So not surprisingly, she doesn't think Charlie is doing anything wrong. --In a blog post at, she says, quote, "In my opinion a hooker is somebody to respect, and I hope that Charlie Sheen keeps spending his money on hiring as many women as he wants to satisfy his sexual needs." --She adds, quote, "Charlie Sheen is raking in around $2 million per episode of 'Two And A Half Men' and some of this money is going to pay some hooker's electricity bill or whatever . . . good luck to them both is what I say. It's keeping the economy moving!" (--There's more. Read the whole thing here.)

Miley Cyrus Has a New Tattoo . . . And She Smokes:

We've always said that three sure signs that a woman is easy are that she smokes, she drinks and she has tattoos. --Well, MILEY CYRUS was just caught by the paparazzi with a cigarette. And she also just got her fifth tattoo. It's a dream catcher on the right side of her torso. --A source says it's just like the one she has over her bed, with four feathers to represent her four siblings. --Miley's previous tattoos are a heart on one finger, a cross on another finger, the word "love" on the inside of her right ear and the words "just breathe" under her left breast. (--You can see pictures of Miley's new tattoo . . . which is visible through a baggy, oversize t-shirt . . . plus a picture of her hanging a cigarette out her car window . . . here.) --So Miley meets two of the qualifications for being EASY: Smoking and tattoos. But what about the third? Well, we don't have any confirmed reports of Miley drinking. But I think we've all seen that video of her GETTING HIGH. -So it's not drinking, but it's still SUBSTANCE ABUSE. --Our conclusion? Sorry Billy Ray . . . MILEY CYRUS IS EASY!

Anderson Cooper Was Attacked Again:

For the second straight day, ANDERSON COOPER was attacked while covering the unrest in Egypt. But at least this time, he escaped without being physically beaten. --He Tweeted, quote, "Situation on ground in Egypt very tense. Vehicle I was in attacked. My window smashed. All ok."

Fox News Correspondent Greg Palkot and His Cameraman Were Attacked and Severely Injured:

Fox News correspondent GREG PALKOT and his cameraman, Olaf Wiig, were attacked by supporters of Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak and seriously injured. --Fellow Fox News journalist JOHN ROBERTS said, quote, "They were forced to leave their position when a Molotov cocktail was thrown at it, a large fire erupted. They were forced to flee. --"They ran out and ran right into the pro Mubarak crowd and were severely beaten and had to be taken to the hospital, spent the night in the hospital. The extent of their injuries was fairly grave, however, they have been released from the hospital." --The attack happened on Wednesday, but Fox waited until Palkot and Wiig were released from the hospital to report it.

An ABC News Crew Was Threatened with Beheading:

An ABC News crew was carjacked yesterday . . . and their assailants threatened to BEHEAD THEM. According to producer Brian Hartman they're only alive now because one of his cameramen, who's Lebanese , got them off the hook. --He says, quote, "We thought we were goners. We absolutely thought we were doomed. The men released us only after our camera man appealed to the generous spirit of the Egyptian people, hugging and kissing an elder."

Lara Logan from CBS Has Been Detained by Police:

CBS foreign affairs correspondent LARA LOGAN and her crew have been detained by Egyptian police --It happened yesterday, just a day after Lara reported that President Hosni Mubarak's regime was cracking down on foreign journalists. --CBS issued a statement yesterday saying, quote, "For security reasons CBS will not be commenting on, or revealing in any way, CBS personnel activity, movement or location."

The Thriller "The Roommate" Is Going Up Against James Cameron's Latest Flick, "Sanctum":

#1.) "The Roommate" (PG-13)

"Gossip Girl's" Leighton Meester plays a deranged college freshman who becomes obsessed with her new roommate, Minka Kelly from "Friday Night Lights". (Trailer)

Official Site:

(--Isn't this just a rip-off of the 1992 thriller "Single White Female" with Bridget Fonda and Jennifer Jason Leigh? Check out the trailer for that one here.)

#2.) "Sanctum" (R) (In 3D)

A team of cave divers is trapped underground after a freak storm collapses the cave entrance. With their exit blocked, the group is forced to go deeper into the cave system to try to find another way out before they use up their oxygen supply. --Richard Roxburgh . . . who you'd remember as The Duke in "Moulin Rouge" and Dracula in "Van Helsing" . . . plays the expedition leader. "Fantastic Four" star Ioan Gruffudd is the financial backer trapped down there with him. (Trailer) (--It's based on a true story and produced by "Titanic's" James Cameron.)
Official Site:

Julia Roberts Might Play the Queen In One of Two "Snow White" Movies in the Works:

There are TWO "Snow White" movies in the works . . . and JULIA ROBERTS is in negotiations to play the evil queen in one of them. It's called "The Brothers Grimm: Snow White". --There's no relation between this one and the one we already heard about, "Snow White and the Huntsman". --That one stars CHARLIZE THERON as the queen, VIGGO MORTENSEN as the huntsman . . . and MAYBE KRISTEN STEWART as Snow White. (--She's in negotiations, but it's not definite yet.)

Nicolas Cage's Movies Are Rated on the "Nicolas Cage Matrix":

If you're in the mood for a NICOLAS CAGE movie, but you want to know what you're getting yourself into before you make a choice, you might want to check out the Nicolas Cage Matrix. --It's a graph that rates Cage's movies. The vertical axis rates the movies from "Brilliant" to "Rubbish" . . . while the horizontal access rates them from "Serious" to "Mental". (--Check out the Nicolas Cage Matrix here.)

Stephen King's "Pet Sematary" May Get Remade:

Hollywood makes so many mistakes when it comes to taking perfectly good movies and remaking them. That's why it's nice to see them remaking a movie that SHOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER for a change. --Paramount is developing a new version of STEPHEN KING'S "Pet Sematary". (--For those of you who don't know, it's the story of an ancient Indian burial ground that can bring dead pets . . . and people . . . back to life.) --All we know about the movie so far is that the script is being written by Matt Greenberg. He also wrote "1408", the JOHN CUSACK movie that was based on a King short story of the same name. (--The original "Pet Sematary" movie came out in 1989 . . . and it had some genuinely terrifying moments. It was very grim and unrelenting for a big budget Hollywood film, which is cool.) --Unfortunately, it suffers from DISMAL performances. Especially by lead actors DALE MIDKIFF and DENISE CROSBY from "Star Trek: The Next Generation". The chick who plays their daughter is super-annoying, too.)

Fox Has Rejected a Christian-Themed Super Bowl Ad:

Fox has rejected a Christian-themed Super Bowl ad for the site, reportedly because "it advanced specific religious beliefs." --It's a simple commercial: A group of lively friends are watching a football game. The game cuts to a close-up of a player who has "John 3:16" written on his eye-black. One of the friends wonders what that is, and looks it up on his phone. (--You can watch the ad, here. Fox also rejected a bizarre ad from a comedy website called You can revisit that ad, here.)

Mick Jagger Will Perform Live at the Grammys for the First Time:

ROLLING STONES legend MICK JAGGER will perform at the Grammys NEXT Sunday. It'll be his first live Grammy performance ever. (--The Stones performed on the 1986 show, but that was via satellite.) --Mick is paying tribute to soul music icon SOLOMON BURKE, who passed away in October. R&B singer RAPHAEL SAADIQ will join him onstage. (--The list of Grammy performers also includes: Justin Bieber, Eminem, Lady Gaga, Arcade Fire, Drake & Rihanna, Cee Lo Green & Gwyneth Paltrow, Muse, Katy Perry, Lady Antebellum, Miranda Lambert and Janelle Monae.)

The Top-Selling "Glee" Downloads:

The "Hollywood Reporter" has published a list of The Five Top-Selling "Glee" Downloads.

--Here they are:

1.) "Don't Stop Believin'", 1.1 million downloads (--Originally by Journey.)

2.) "Forget You", 466,000 downloads (--This is Gwyneth Paltrow's performance of it on the show. It was originally "(Eff) You" by Cee Lo Green.)

3.) "Teenage Dream", 407,000 downloads (--Originally by Katy Perry.)

4.) "Halo / Walking on Sunshine", 332,000 downloads (--"Halo" is a Beyoncé song. "Walking on Sunshine" was originally recorded by Katrina and the Waves.)

5.) "Somebody to Love", 331,000 downloads (--Originally by Queen.)


Friday TV Reminders:

--"Who Do You Think You Are?" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Vanessa Williams traces her family lineage back to the Civil War.)

--"Primetime: What Would You Do?" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--The scenarios include an off-duty security guard demanding ID from a Latino family without any just cause . . . and "tip theft" at a restaurant.)

--"Super Bowl's Greatest Commercials 2011" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. (--A countdown of the Top 10 commercials over the past 44 Super Bowls, plus a preview of some of the 2011 Super Bowl commercials.)

--"A Barbara Walters Special: A Matter of Life and Death" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Barbara talks to Bill Clinton, David Letterman, Robin Williams, Charlie Rose and Regis Philbin about their experiences with open-heart surgery.) (--Barbara had her own an aortic-valve replacement in May of last year.)

--"Comedy Central Presents: Chris D'Elia" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--Comedienne Chris D'Elia performs stand-up.)

--"Comedy Central Presents: Nate Bargatze" . . . 11:30 P.M. to Midnight on Comedy Central. (--Comedian Nate Bargatze performs stand-up.)

Saturday TV Reminders:

--"It's Me or the Dog" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Animal Planet.

--"Billy Gardell: Halftime" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--Billy Gardell from "Mike & Molly" performs stand-up in his hometown of Pittsburgh.)

--"Crossroads" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CMT. (--The Pretenders and Faith Hill perform Live from the Pepsi Super Bowl Fan Jam.)

--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Dana Carvey guest hosts and Linkin Park is the musical guest.)

Sunday TV Reminders:

--"Super Bowl 45" . . . 6:30 to 9:30 P.M. Eastern on Fox. (--The Pittsburgh Steelers play the Green Bay Packers at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas.) --The Black Eyed Peas are the halftime show. Christina Aguilera will perform the National Anthem and "Glee's" Lea Michelle will sing "America the Beautiful".)

--"Animal Planet Special: Puppy Bowl VII" . . . 3:00 to 5:00 P.M. on Animal Planet. (--The 7th annual Super Bowl themed adoption fair for animal shelter pets.)

--"Glee" . . . 7:30 to 8:30 P.M. on Fox. (--Katie Couric guests when Mr. Schuester and Coach Beiste try to make peace between the glee club and the football team.)

Bieber Fever: Justin Was Booed at a Knicks Game . . . Might Perform at WrestleMania . . . and Has a New Collaboration with Sean Kingston:

JUSTIN BIEBER was at a New York Knicks game at Madison Square Garden on Wednesday night . . . but the fans there weren't impressed. When they showed him on the JumboTron, the crowd erupted in boos. --The announcers said the boos were mixed with cheers, but in the video all you can hear are the boos. It was so loud that the players and coaches were looking up to the scoreboard to see what was going on. (--Watch the video, here. --The cold reception is kind of surprising coming from basketball fans . . . since basketball culture is so closely intertwined with hip-hop culture. Don't they realize that rappers LOVE this kid? --Regardless, it seems that Justin and his people are dead-set on pushing him out of his teen-girl comfort zone. There's unconfirmed talk on the World Wide Wasteland that Justin is in negotiations to perform at WrestleMania 27 on April 3rd. --By the way, Justin is featured on a new SEAN KINGSTON track called "Won't Stop". (--It's on Sean's brand new mixtape "King of Kingz". It's actually a cool track. You can check it out, here.)

Slash's Wife Has Been Accused of Assault:

Some woman filed a police report, claiming that SLASH'S wife, Perla Hudson, assaulted her at an OZZY OSBOURNE concert in L.A. this week. Slash was also performing at the show. --The woman claims Perla became jealous when she saw her talking to Slash backstage . . . and came over and KICKED HER IN THE STOMACH. She wasn't hurt, but she went to the police anyway. So far, no charges have been filed. --Perla posted a response on Twitter saying, quote, "There's 2 sides to every story. Some people will do anything for attention." (--For what it's worth, Slash and Perla began divorce proceedings last August, but then in November they called it off.)

The "Star" tabloid claims STEVEN TYLER dated a 15-year-old girl back in the '70s, when he was 25 . . . and she had both an abortion and a miscarriage during their relationship. (Full Story)

There's a rumor going around that DIANNA AGRON from "Glee" and her boyfriend, ALEX PETTYFER, are engaged. They're not. (Full Story)

HOWARD STERN says that he's trying not to use that gay slur that starts with the letter "F" anymore, because he has, quote, "tremendous compassion for people who are homosexuals." (Full Story)

HALLE BERRY reportedly sent her baby-daddy, GABRIEL AUBRY, an e-mail saying, quote, "You were only good for one thing. Thanks for the donation." (Full Story)

The cast for Bravo's "Real Housewives of Miami" has been announced. It includes the wife of NBA legend SCOTTIE PIPPEN and the ex-wife of former NBA star GLEN RICE. (Full Story)

MARIA SCHNEIDER, who was only 19 when she starred alongside MARLON BRANDO in the dirty 1972 flick "Last Tango in Paris", has died at the age of 58. (Full Story)

DR. PHIL and his wife ROBIN are being sued by a friend who was bitten by their dog. (Full Story)

DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER'S daughter LYSSA has filed for divorce, claiming her husband was physically abusive. Will Dog kick the guy's ass? (Full Story)


A New Survey Shows Gender Roles Have Totally Flipped . . . Men Want To Get Married, Women Just Want One-Night Stands:

Nothing from this would make our grandparents happy. Our grandfathers would be furious at how soft and emotional their grandsons have become . . . and our grandmothers would hate how LOOSE their granddaughters have become. --According to a new survey from, gender roles have almost completely flipped in the past 40 years. --Today, men are more likely than women to want to get married young . . . and women are more likely than men to want one-night stands and open relationships.

--Check out some more of these findings:

--54% of men say they've experienced love at first sight, versus 44% of women.

--24% of single men want to have kids soon, versus 15% of women.

--23% of men say nights out with guys are important . . . 35% of women say girls nights out are important.

--The survey also found that 35% of people have had a one-night stand that turned into a long-term relationship.

--71% of people say they fell in love with a friend who they didn't find attractive at first after great conversations. (USA Today)
Only Two Out of Five People Have Ever Regretted Kissing Someone:

We've got the results here from a new survey on kissing . . . from the people at Harlequin romance novels. And while most of it seems pretty believable, I just can't wrap my head around one result. --Only 41% of the people in the survey say they've ever regretted kissing someone. Really. Three out of five people claim they have had such perfect control of their love lives . . . and alcohol tolerance . . . that they've NEVER made a mistake. --Here are some other . . . more believable . . . findings from the survey.

--One out of three Americans say they've kissed a coworker.

--One out of four say that their favorite kissing memory ever is with their current partner.

--Only one in ten people say that bad kissing skills are a deal-breaker.

--More than half of Americans say they've never used a kiss to get something they wanted, to tease someone, or to make someone jealous.

--53% of people say that men still need to always make the move when it comes to a first kiss. (PR Newswire)

Just In Time For Valentine's Day, Two Chefs Taste-Test Six Different Edible Erotic Gifts:

Obviously, for Valentine's Day, you're going to buy some kind of EROTIC EDIBLE. But which one? There are so many to choose from, right? --To help you out, two chefs in the Houston area taste-tested six popular edible erotic gifts, and ranked them from best tasting to worst. Here's what they found.

#6.) Edible strawberry underwear. They smell like Fruit Roll-Ups and taste like, quote, "the worst cotton candy ever." Plus they're made with chemicals, and are extremely sticky. So you might regret putting them over your naughty parts.

#5.) Edible finger body paint. One chef said, quote, "These taste like the barium shakes they make you drink before [medical tests.] It leaves a gross film on the back of your throat."

#4.) Edible candy bra. It looks like those candy necklaces you wore as a kid, but since the bras sit on shelves for a while, they tend to get really stale.

#3.) Jawbreaker ball gag. Both chefs liked the way the ball gag tasted in their mouth . . . quote, "[it's] like a real Jawbreaker." At least it's better than rubber.

#2.) Cinnamon Kama Sutra lube. The flavor was similar to Red Hots. The only problem was that it was advertised as a warming lube and never really warmed up.

#1.) Lovers body pen set. These body pens let you write on someone in chocolate. Quote, "It tastes just like Nestle's strawberry milk. This would even taste good in large quantities." (Houston Press)

A New Survey Says the Best Way To Spice Up Your Sex Life Is . . . Talking and Listening?

According to a new survey out of New Zealand, if you want to spice up your sex life, the answer doesn't involve the words "leather," "role playing," "edible," "sex swing," OR "crotchless." --Nope, according to the people surveyed, the two best ways to spice up your sex life are . . . talking and listening. (--Insert sad trombone wah-wah sound here.) --By talking and listening, you can actually find out what the other person wants . . . how happy they are with your sex life . . . and what you can do differently so you're both satisfied. --75% of people surveyed said the main issue they talk out is when one person wants to get-it-on more often than the other. The second-most common issues are life problems like work and family stress interfering with your sex life. --52% of the people surveyed also said they'd be willing to seek professional counseling to help their sex life if it came to that. --But . . . overall, 67% of people said they were satisfied with their sex lives. --And 83% were satisfied with their relationships overall. (
New Mexico Has the Kinkiest Men In the U.S. . . . West Virginia Has the Kinkiest Women:

Wondering where all the FREAKS at? Check out a map online called the "Kinky States of America." An artist put it together by analyzing how kinky people get in their online dating profiles all around the country. --He found that New Mexico has the kinkiest men, followed by Arizona and Mississippi . . . and West Virginia has the kinkiest women, followed by Iowa and Alaska. Some states, like Wyoming and Minnesota, have almost no kink. (Jezebel)

A Man Survives Sleeping Outdoors, In His Underwear, In 23-Degree Weather . . . Because He Was Too Drunk To Freeze:

This story is NOT our way of advocating that you try to get through the cold weather by drinkin' til you can't feel the snow. Just because it works doesn't mean it's smart. --In Warsaw, Poland, 32-year-old Aleksander Andrzej got drunk. Incredibly drunk. Drunk to the point where he'd blow a 0.6 on the breathalyzer . . . which is seven-and-a-half times the 0.08 legal limit, and well into the POTENTIALLY FATAL range. --Instead of dying, Aleksander stripped down to just his underwear and passed out in a park in Warsaw . . . in 23-degree weather. -But he managed to survive . . . and doctors say it's because the alcohol made him TOO DRUNK to freeze to death. Yes, apparently that's possible. And they say he's going to make a full recovery. (Daily Telegraph)

A Court Rules That Free Internet Porno Is Totally Legal:

If it wasn't for free pornography, there's no way the Internet would be as popular as it is today. And thanks to a court decision this week, your endless supply of complementary porno isn't going anywhere. -In 2009, a group of pornographers were suing a website called that offers free, streaming porno video online, YouTube-style. --They said that free video porno, quote, "has had a massive negative impact on the business model of adult website proprietors. Now that consumers [can] watch high-quality adult videos for free, fewer are making the choice to pay." --They sued under California's Unfair Practices Act. -Well . . . this week, a California appeals court decided to DISMISS the lawsuit. It ruled that a site has every right to show free porno . . . and even ruled that the pornographers who were suing were trying to stifle FREE SPEECH. --Quote, "The publication of a video on the Internet, whether it depicts teenagers playing football or adult entertainment, qualifies as 'conduct in furtherance of free speech.'" --Free streaming porno sites like RedTube make their money off of advertising . . . and from getting a kickback from pay-porno companies that upload video clips to try to drum up new subscribers. (Ars Technica)

Kenneth Cole Has a PR Disaster . . . When They Tweet A Joke About Egypt To Promote Their Clothes:

This is a serious public relations DISASTER for Kenneth Cole. --Yesterday, someone at Kenneth Cole decided to post this tweet to the company's official Twitter account, @KennethCole. Quote, "Millions are in uproar in Cairo. Rumor is they heard our new spring collection is now available online." --And then, they posted a link to their new spring collection. --People FREAKED OUT about the tweet almost instantly . . . comparing horrible, deadly violence from a country in turmoil to people stampeding to the stores for your clothes is pretty obviously a BAD CALL. --About two hours later, Kenneth Cole pulled it down and posted another tweet, quote, "Re Egypt tweet: We weren't intending to make light of a serious situation. We understand the sensitivity of this historic moment." --Later in the day, KENNETH COLE himself posted an apology on Facebook and took the blame for the tweet. --Quote, "I've dedicated my life to raising awareness about serious social issues, and in hindsight my attempt at humor regarding a nation liberating themselves against oppression was poorly timed and absolutely inappropriate." (Time) (--Here's a screen capture of the original tweet.)

Super Scoop Kitty Litter Has Dropped Its Lawsuit Against Fresh Step Kitty Litter, For Suggesting That Cats Could Talk About Their Product:

I only like catfights where women rip off each other's clothes, sometimes while slipping around in hot oil, cool Jell-O, or room temperature pudding. This ain't that kind of catfight. This is a cat LITTER fight. Infinitely less wonderful. --Last month, Arm & Hammer filed a lawsuit against Clorox . . . over kitty litter. --Arm & Hammer makes Super Scoop kitty litter. Clorox makes Fresh Step kitty litter. Arm & Hammer was mad at some ads from Clorox that showed cats rejecting Super Scoop and picking Fresh Step instead. --In the lawsuit, they said there was no way for Clorox to know what kind of kitty litter cats truly prefer because, quote, "CATS DO NOT TALK." --Arm & Hammer agreed to drop the lawsuit when Clorox said it would pull the ads. There's no word on any settlement. (Wall Street Journal)
(--Here's a YouTube video of one of the ads that shows a cat picking Fresh Step over Super Scoop.)
Some Tenants In Oregon Set Their House On Fire By Using a Hole In the Floor As an Ashtray:

It's pretty amazing these people didn't see this coming. --In Portland, Oregon, a group of tenants . . . whose names haven't been released . . . were smoking inside of the house they rent. And instead of using an ashtray, they'd started ashing their cigarettes into a HOLE IN THE FLOOR. --On Wednesday, one of those ashes finally sparked an actual fire . . . which did $30,000 in damage and almost burned the house down. The fire department was able to put it out before it could spread. --A spokesman from the fire department said, quote, "If that's true [that they used a hole in the floor as an ashtray], it shouldn't be a surprise there was a fire. That's not careless smoking, that's stupid smoking." (The Oregonian)


Valentine's Day Stupidity: A sixth-grade girl in North Highlands, California found an 'obscene' candy heart in her bag of normal candy hearts. It said "nice [rhymes with bits]." (Full Story)

Less than 1% of the Canadian border has an acceptable level of security. Which makes it less secure than the Mexican border. (Full Story)

According to shocking new research from the University of California . . . hugs make you feel better. (Full Story)

The average high school kid today has the same level of stress as a 1950s psychiatric patient. (Full Story)

Mugshot of the Day #1: A guy who hit a pregnant woman in the head with a gun has "Genius" tattooed on his forehead. (Full Story)

Mugshot of the Day #2: It's your Friday Hooker Mugshot Round-up! From Florida, of course. (Full Story)

Photo of the Day: A 13-year-old Chinese boy slipped while peeling apples and lodged a three-inch knife blade in his face. But somehow he's totally fine. Want to see the X-ray? (Full Story)

Researchers in New Zealand had old people watch the original British version of "The Office" to see why they didn't get the jokes. They found that older people have a harder time reading social situations, and deciding what's embarrassing or inappropriate behavior. (Full Story)


#1.) A Blonde News Anchor Meant to Say "Pro Bono" . . . But Said "Pro Boner":

A young, blonde female news reporter in Missouri named Alex Swoyer was reporting on a lawyer who was working "pro bono" defending a murder suspect. And "pro bono" is what she MEANT to say. But she said "pro BONER" by mistake. (--Search for "Pro Boner Live Blooper". She says it 18 seconds in.)

#2.) Ellen DeGeneres Made Jennifer Aniston Try a Vibrating Breast Enhancer:

JENNIFER ANISTON was on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" yesterday, and Ellen had her test two vibrating BREAST ENHANCERS that you stick in your bra. --As soon as Ellen turned it on, Jennifer squealed. Then she asked if she was "getting milked". (--Search for "Jennifer Aniston Tests the Vibrating Bra." Aniston puts them in at :23, Ellen turns them on at :55, and Ellen lets them vibrate on the table at 1:55.)

#3.) The Double Rainbow Guy Sees Double Everything in a New Cell Phone Ad That's Airing in New Zealand:

The Double Rainbow guy, Paul "Bear" Vasquez, is starring in a new cell phone ad in New Zealand that shows him walking around seeing double EVERYTHING. --First he sees a double rainbow, then double waterfalls, double mailboxes, twins, and a double cheeseburger. And in the end, he sees a billboard advertising Vodafone's "double back" offer . . . whatever that means. (--Search for "Vodafone Double Rainbow")

#4.) Christian Teenagers Redid Beyoncé's "Single Ladies" Music Video . . . And Made the Lyrics About Saving Your Virginity:

This has been on YouTube for a while but hasn't gotten much attention. Which is a tragedy, because it's hilarious. -A group of Christian teenagers re-made BEYONCÉ'S "Single Ladies" video and changed the lyrics so they're about saving your virginity for marriage. --It's called "Christian Ladies", and the main line is, "If you love me, put a PURITY ring on it." (--The singing is awful, but the funniest part of the video is the beginning, when a teenage guy tries to convince his girlfriend to have sex. And he asks her WHILE she's reading the Bible . . . which is a total rookie move.) (--Search for "Christian Ladies Purity Ring on It." The song starts at :51.)

#5.) Have You Ever Noticed How Much Kristen Stewart Exhales?

KRISTEN STEWART was recently named the top-earning female in Hollywood, after raking in over $28 million last year. Obviously most of that came from the "Twilight" movies. --And if you've ever seen any of them, you know her acting range consists of either, A.) Sighing . . . or B.) Biting her lip. If you don't believe us, the idiot bloggers online have made compilations of both. And seriously she does it a LOT. (--Search for "Kristen Stewart Exhales. A Lot. Is She Really Worth $28.5 Million?" and "Kristen Stewart Lip Biting Beauty")

#6.) Here are the 100 Best Super Bowl Commercials:

According to a new survey, one of eight people watches the Super Bowl just for the commercials. Which is interesting, since so many have been lame over the years. -But, when you look at the 100 best Super Bowl commercials EVER, it makes a little more sense. You can get ready for Sunday by checking out an annoying slideshow of all 100 commercials online, at (--Just search for "100 Greatest Super Bowl Commercials")

--And there's a new Volkswagen ad online that promises to be one of the better commercials this Sunday: It's a kid dressed as Darth Vader trying to use the Force on different stuff around the house. (--Search for "Volkswagen Commercial: The Force")

Five Vegetarian Super Bowl Foods That Everyone Will Like:

People who throw Super Bowl parties don't always make enough stuff for vegetarians. Yeah, most football fans are meat-eaters, but these days you have to have more than just chips and salsa and vegetable dip for your vegetarian friends. --The problem is, even when hosts DO make something special, a lot of it goes to waste because only one or two people eat it. So here's a list from "Women's Health Magazine" of five vegetarian foods that EVERYONE will like.

#1.) Spinach Artichoke Dip. It's easy to make at home, or you can buy it pre-made in the frozen food aisle of most grocery stores. The only catch is, it has cheese and usually mayonnaise, which hardcore vegans won't eat.

#2.) Fried Zucchini Sticks with Marinara Sauce. It's not the HEALTHIEST way to eat vegetables. But it's a lot healthier than cheese sticks. And as I'm sure you know, football fans will eat anything if it's fried.

#3.) Meatless Chili with Avocado. If you're making chili anyway, it's easy to do a batch with just beans. Then add chopped avocado, or serve it on the side. And while you're at it, make sure you serve guacamole, which is a Super Bowl staple.

#4.) Portobello Burgers. They're regarded as kind of a gourmet veggie burger. So even if your vegetarian friends don't show up, they'll probably get eaten.

#5.) Hummus. It's not on the "Women's Health" list but it should be, because basically any kind of pre-made hummus at the grocery store is vegetarian-friendly.
--If you've never had hummus, it's just mashed chickpeas blended with olive oil, garlic, salt, and tahini, which is made with ground sesame seeds. And you can eat it with anything dipable, like crackers, chips, pretzels, and raw veggies. (

Eight Traits Women Are Biologically Attracted To:

Different women have different taste in men, but there are a few qualities that ALL women tend to go for. According to Ask, here are eight physical and psychological traits that women are biologically attracted to.

#1.) Bad Boys. According to a study out of New Mexico State University, men who have "bad boy" traits usually have more sexual partners than other men. --That's because bad boys tend to be more aggressive when it comes to getting women in the sack. But biologically, women are attracted to them because their genetic material is perceived to be stronger than the DNA of other men.

#2.) Material Support. There's nothing surprising about the fact that women are drawn to men who can provide for them. But what IS surprising is the way men have adapted to it. --Researchers at Arizona State University asked men if they'd spend $5,000 on luxury items to get noticed by women, and found that men in a, quote, "romantic mind frame" were more likely to than men in a "neutral mind frame." --That's an overly-complicated way of saying that men are adapting to women's evolutionary preference for men who can provide for them.

#3.) Smell. Your natural smell is hugely important to women. Basically, if she likes the way you smell, it's nature's way of telling her that you two will make a good genetic match . . . and therefore have healthy offspring.

#4.) High Social Status. Men who are extroverted, respected by their peers, or good with tools or technology have an evolutionary advantage in life, and women are programmed to be drawn to those traits.

#5.) Feminine and Masculine Faces. Depending on where they are in their monthly cycle, women have an innate preference for different types of male faces. During ovulation, women favor masculine male faces with strong jaw lines. --At other times of the month, women find feminine male faces more attractive. In other words, women want to have sex with manly-men, but they want to have lasting emotional relationships with more feminine-looking men. So, good luck with that. (???)

#6.) Face symmetry. We've all heard that facial symmetry is a trait that both men and women find desirable in the opposite sex. --But a recent study found that women are more likely to ORGASM during sex with a man whose face is symmetric. Yeah, it's that important.

#7.) Intelligence. According to a recent survey of online daters, men were more likely to contact women with screen names that suggested physical attractiveness or sex appeal, while women went more for men whose screen names were intellectual.

#8.) A Great Conversationalist. Women fix issues by talking about them. So when you talk to a woman, she's more likely to feel emotionally connected to you . . . and that usually translates to a physical connection as well. (Ask Men)


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