HOLLYWOOD DIRT (5-20)

PATRICK SWAYZE IS *NOT* DEAD!!

PATRICK SWAYZE is NOT dead. The rumor spread across the World Wide Web of Misinformation yesterday, but it's not true.

Patrick's rep said, "This is to confirm that Patrick Swayze did not pass away this morning, contrary to severely reckless reports stemming from a radio station in Jacksonville, Florida. "Patrick is alive, well and is enjoying his life, and he continues to respond to treatment."(--On the ledt is a a picture of Patrick and his wife Lisa on their ranch last week. He looks like he's in pretty decent shape, considering the circumstances . . .)

By the way . . . A&E announced its fall schedule last week, and Swayze's show, "The Beast", wasn't on it. But A&E says it has NOT made a final decision in the show's future yet.

===================================================================

POOR, POOR, PITIFUL JESSICA BIEL IS TOO PRETTY:

PATRICK SWAYZE may have stage 4 cancer, and DAVID HASSELHOFF may be unable to stop drinking himself to death . . . but JESSICA BIEL is a celebrity with a REAL problem: SHE'S TOO PRETTY. She says, "It really is a problem. I have to be blunt."

We've heard about this "problem" before. Basically, Jessica is saying she's too sexy to get decent movie roles. She says, quote, "I'm in there with everybody else, fighting for the good parts. Yes, 'The Illusionist' has made a difference . . . but a huge, massive difference, so I can pick and choose what I want? No. "I just want an opportunity. If you don't like the audition, don't hire me! But if you don't want to even see me . . . that's hurtful. And why? You know nothing about me!"

====================================================================

IS PAULA ABDUL LYING ABOUT HER PLANE CRASH???

PAULA ABDUL has been talking a lot lately about that plane crash she was in back in the early '90s . . . and how it resulted in her needing multiple back surgeries. (--Somewhere between 13 and 15. The number varies from interview to interview.)

Well, one thing nobody has done is CALL HER OUT and make her PROVE she was in a plane crash. But maybe somebody SHOULD . . . because there appears to be evidence that this plane crash NEVER HAPPENED. Paula has been saying that the crash happened in 1993 on her birthday, which is June 19th . . . SOMEWHERE IN IOWA.

Well, the National Transportation Safety Board keeps a list of all plane crashes . . . and there's NOT one anywhere in the state of Iowa on June 19th, 1993. In some articles, Paula says the crash took place in 1992. But according to the NTSB, there hasn't been a plane crash in Iowa on a June 19th from 1990 through 1995.

You can check for yourself at either of these two searchable databases . . . http://ntsb.gov/ntsb/month.asp or http://ntsb.gov/ntsb/query.asp

If you've been wondering why we only heard about this plane crash YEARS after it supposedly happened, Paula says it's because she KEPT IT OUT OF THE MEDIA. She was on tour, and at the height of her career, and she didn't want people knowing about it. In fact, she claims she was back onstage within days of the crash.

(--Paula probably could have kept the media from knowing she was in a plane crash. But she couldn't have kept the media from knowing there WAS a plane crash. And even if she could, I don't think she had the pull . . . even in her "Straight Up" days . . . to get the NTSB to pretend it never happened.)

Also . . . Paula claims that her plane was bound from St. Louis to Denver. Would it have any reason to fly over Iowa??? (--Iowa borders Missouri on the NORTH. Denver is DUE WEST. I've heard of some crazy stopovers, but this one would make ZERO SENSE.)

So the question remains . . . Was Paula Abdul in a plane crash??? (--I say the jury is still out. Remember, we're depending on Paula Abdul for the actual details. So, you know, trying to sleuth this thing out relying on HER memory is a pretty daunting task.)