HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (8-12-09)

KELLY CLARKSON WAS SERIOUSLY AIRBRUSHED FOR THE COVER OF "SELF" MAGAZINE:

In the new issue of "Self" magazine, KELLY CLARKSON says, quote, "When people talk about my weight, I'm like, 'You seem to have a problem with it; I don't. I'm fine!'

"I'm never trying to lose weight . . . or gain it. I'm just being!" --

That's a great quote from a woman who's NOT naturally small . . . but who doesn't care.

Sadly, the magazine totally undercuts Kelly's attitude by featuring a cover picture in which she's Photoshopped to look a lot thinner than she really is.

Well, people started calling "Self" out on that cover pic, so they responded by saying . . . THEY REALLY DON'T CARE.

"Self" Editor-in-Chief Lucy Danziger posted a message on the magazine's website saying, basically, that there's no law saying their pictures have to portray reality. -She said, quote, "This is art, creativity and collaboration. It's not, as in a news photograph, journalism. It is, however, meant to inspire women to want to be their best. That is the point. --"Did we alter her appearance? Only to make her look her personal best. Did we publish an act of fiction? No. Not unless you think all photos are that. --"But in the sense that Kelly is the picture of confidence, and she truly is, then I think this photo is the truest we have ever put out there on the newsstand."

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MICHAEL JACKSON MADNESS

A PHARMACY WHERE MICHAEL JACKSON'S DOCTOR ALLEGEDLY BOUGHT PROPOFOL WAS RAIDED YESTERDAY:

The Drug Enforcement Agency served a warrant yesterday at a place called Applied Pharmacy Services in Las Vegas. --All anyone would say officially is that they were looking for DOCUMENTS. But "sources" say investigators believe DR. CONRAD MURRAY purchased the powerful anesthetic PROPOFOL there.

Murray is the man who was with MICHAEL JACKSON when he died . . . and propofol is the drug believed to have killed him. Sources also say that Dr. Murray appears to have purchased the drug LEGALLY. (--Of course, that doesn't let Dr. Murray off the hook if he was giving Michael propofol as a SLEEPING AID . . . and in his own bedroom.) If those things aren't outright illegal, they're probably at the very least unethical.

MICHAEL JACKSON HAS *NOT* BEEN BURIED YET:

MICHAEL JACKSON'S father, JOE JACKSON, has confirmed that Michael's body has NOT been buried yet . . . despite a pretty widespread rumor that he'd been secretly laid to rest at Forest Lawn Cemetery.

As for WHERE and WHEN Michael will be buried . . . there's STILL no plan. Although Joe supports the idea of moving Neverland to Las Vegas and doing it there. --He says, quote, "I think Vegas would be great. The fans would come."

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PHOEBE CATES' TOPLESS SCENE IN "FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH" HAS BEEN NAMED THE BEST CELEBRITY NUDE SCENE OF ALL TIME:

The editors at MrSkin.com have put together a list of the Top 100 Celebrity Nude Scenes of All Time. And it's hard to argue with their #1 pick.--They went with PHOEBE CATES' erotic strip tease in 1982's "Fast Times at Ridgemont High". The rest of the list is, of course, debatable.

Mr. Skin says, quote, "This is the celebrity nude scene to which all other celebrity nude scenes must answer. "The power of this moment comes from a young star at her most beautiful, a sexy slow-motion build-up, and the relatable circumstance of a teenage crush on your sister's hot friend. --"After 'Fast Times', Phoebe Cates never did a topless scene again. Her work was done!"

--Here's the Top 10 . . .
#1.) PHOEBE CATES, "Fast Times at Ridgemont High", 1982
#2.) ANGELINA JOLIE, "Gia", 1998
#3.) SHARON STONE, "Basic Instinct", 1992
#4.) JESSICA BIEL, "Powder Blue", 2009
#5.) MARISA TOMEI, "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead", 2007
#6.) KELLY PRESTON, "Mischief", 1985
#7.) HALLE BERRY, "Swordfish", 2001
#8.) EVA GREEN, "The Dreamers", 2003
#9.) ALYSSA MILANO, "Embrace of the Vampire", 1995
#10.) ANNE HATHAWAY, "Havoc", 2005

(--You can enjoy the complete list . . . along with detailed descriptions of the scenes themselves . . . at this link . . .)http://www.mrskin.com/top100