Friday, January 29, 2010

January 29, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

GISELE BUNDCHEN HAD A "WATER BIRTH":

GISELE BUNDCHEN didn't go to the hospital to birth TOM BRADY'S baby. --She says, quote, "I gave birth in the bathtub." Specifically, she did it in the tub at their Boston penthouse. Obviously, it wasn't by accident. Gisele chose to have a water birth. We assume there were midwives or other qualified professionals present. (--The baby, a boy named Benjamin, was born on December 8th.)

DID MADONNA SPEND A WHOLE WEEKEND WITH A-ROD???

As far as we know, MADONNA still has JESUS LUZ snowed into thinking he's got it good by nailing her. But that hasn't stopped her from sleeping with other men whose moms she's old enough to be. -"Us Weekly" says Madonna spent the weekend of January 16th with ALEX RODRIGUEZ, at his home in Westchester County, New York. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "She's never been a one-man woman. When she's with a guy like Jesus, whom she takes care of, she doesn't really respect him."


Last year, RIHANNA didn't make it to the Grammys because, as you may recall, she was ASSAULTED by CHRIS BROWN the night before. Rihanna IS going to the ceremony this Sunday. But she's going alone. --She says, quote, "I'm going to the Grammys alone, as always! Even when I was in a relationship, I always have gone alone." --Then she added, quote, "I'm still single, if that's what you really want to ask!"


JOHN MAYER TAKES AIM AT CELEBRITIES WHO HAVE THEIR OWN FRAGRANCES:

If you are a celebrity with your own fragrance . . . or fragrances . . . you are about to receive a serious verbal beat-down. --JOHN MAYER is taking aim at the whole celebrity fragrance phenomenon . . . and he really hits the bullseye. --Check out what he has to say about it . . . quote, "I'm not diversifying in terms of selling anything. I'm not selling 'John Mayer: the cologne'. If I did it would just smell like sausage and sleep. --"I don't look at my fans and think, 'Wow, they really like what I do musically. Imagine if I could get 60 more dollars out of them!' --"Who out there really goes, 'You know what, I just (effing) love perfumes. I always have since I was a kid. If I weren't a pop singer, I'd be a perfumier . . .'? --"At some point I may turn into an (A-hole), but right now I just peddle a CD for $15 dollars every two years." --I don't know why so many people think John Mayer is a jerk. I happen to think he's funny. And a lot of his little commentaries on life . . . this one included . . . are SPOT-ON.)


WARNER BROTHERS SAYS IT DID *NOT* KILL BRITTANY MURPHY:

Warner Brothers would like you to know that it did NOT kill BRITTANY MURPHY. --As you know, Brittany's husband, Simon Monjack, has been talking about filing a wrongful death lawsuit against Warner Brothers . . . claiming that they caused Brittany's heart attack by, quote, "canceling her role" in "Happy Feet 2". (--She did a voice in the original.) --But the WB issued a statement yesterday saying, quote, "Any claim that Warner Brothers Pictures was somehow responsible for Brittany Murphy's tragic death is demonstrably false, reprehensible and defamatory. --"Despite press reports to the contrary, Warner Brothers Pictures and Ms. Murphy never entered into any deal for 'Happy Feet 2', and thus, there was no contract to cancel."


#1.) Some things make absolutely NO SENSE . . . and you love them even MORE because of it. Here's a video of VAL KILMER talking to New Mexico Representative Luciano Varela. --What is Val talking about? How great 50 CENT is. (???) (--For real. Check it out here . . http://www.bestweekever.tv/2010-01-28/val-kilmer-talks-to-new-mexico-congressman-about-50-cent-in-new-candidate-for-sense-making-story-of-the-year/ (--Val and 50 were in a movie together last year called "Streets of Blood" . . . and they've got another one called "Gun" coming out next year.)
#2.) A hearing has been set for May 26th regarding JOE JACKSON'S attempt to get an allowance from MICHAEL'S estate. --Joe wants more than $15,000 a month. The executors of Michael's estate want him to get NOTHING. (--Michael didn't leave Joe anything in his will.)
#3.) Those of you who don't think MARIAH CAREY has a sense of humor might want to check this out. Mariah called in to her husband NICK CANNON'S radio show the other day pretending to be "Debbie" . . . a Long Island housewife who loves pornography. --It's not clear whether Nick had it figured out from the beginning . . . but toward the end, he announced that the caller was actually Mariah. (--Listen to the call here . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCSz8WVlqJE
#4.) SANDRA BULLOCK and JESSE JAMES are using Find Toto to locate their pit bull, Cinnabun. --Find Toto is that company Jessica Simpson used when her dog, Daisy, was snatched by a coyote. They basically power-call your neighbors with a pre-recorded message about your missing dog. --Cinnabun has been missing since Monday. (--You can listen to the call here . . .)http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_audio/012810_jesse_james_audio.mp3
SUPER BOWL INSANITY

SOME PEOPLE IN FLORIDA DON'T WANT THE WHO TO DO THE SUPER BOWL HALFTIME SHOW . . . BECAUSE PETE TOWNSHEND WAS A REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER:

THE WHO are scheduled to do this year's Super Bowl halftime show. But not everyone is cool with that . . . because guitarist and songwriter PETE TOWNSHEND is a former REGISTERED SEX OFFENDER in his native England. --As you may recall, Pete was busted in 2003 for using his credit card to access a website that dealt in CHILD PORNOGRAPHY. --Police searched Pete's computers and didn't find any illegal images. But they still cautioned him and placed him on a sex offender list for FIVE YEARS. --To this day, Pete maintains that he's NOT a deviant. He says he's actually a staunch opponent of child pornography . . . and he was just doing RESEARCH when he got caught. --Anyway, this year's Super Bowl goes down in Miami a week from Sunday. And some activist groups in Florida are trying to freeze the band out because of the controversy. --They're even sending out flyers warning residents that a SEX OFFENDER is coming to their state. -One group, Protect Our Children, lobbied both immigration and the Florida attorney general, asking them to deny Townshend's visa. --That didn't work . . . so another group, Child Abuse Watch, asked the NFL to drop The Who from the show. They said, quote, "Inviting Townsend to play is a blatant disregard to the values of American families and a slap in the face to victims of child sexual abuse." --They added, quote, "Even someone looking for a job as a groundskeeper at Land Shark Stadium . . . (--where the game is being played) . . . wouldn't get hired with a sex offender status in his past. Why then does Townshend?" --But the NFL is buying Townshend's alibi. Spokesman Brian McCarthy says, quote, "UK police cleared him since he was doing research for a project on child abuse."


IS CBS WAFFLING OVER AIRING A SUPER BOWL AD FOR A GAY DATING SITE???


The owners of a gay dating site called ManCrunch.com say that CBS is giving them the runaround over an ad they wanted to run during the Super Bowl. --The site says it submitted the ad last week and never heard back from CBS. So they contacted the network last Friday, and were told that while the ad was still under review, all advertising spots had been sold. --The ManCrunch people asked CBS to review it anyway, just in case an advertiser dropped out and a spot became available . . . which is a common occurrence. --The people at ManCrunch say they don't believe CBS has any intention of running their ad. But at the same time, the network doesn't want to reject it, because they're afraid of backlash from gay groups. --CBS, meanwhile, says the ad is one of many that are still under review. They also say there are still ad spots available . . . and they're not sure who told ManCrunch that there weren't. (--You can watch the ad at the following link. It features two guys totally making out while watching a football game. I'm not saying it's right, but I can totally understand why a network might be hesitant to air it during the manliest TV event of the year . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxgdPaCJUcI (--Whether the ad airs during the Super Bowl or not, ManCrunch already got its publicity. Which was probably their goal all along.)


TAYLOR SWIFT WILL NOT BE PART OF THE NEW "WE ARE THE WORLD":

TAYLOR SWIFT will NOT be part of the new version of "We Are the World" that's being recorded for earthquake relief in Haiti. --Producer QUINCY JONES is rounding up artists to record their parts in Los Angeles on Monday . . . taking advantage of the fact that they'll all be in town for Sunday night's Grammys anyway. --But Taylor is leaving for an Australian tour right after the ceremony, so you can count her out. --Quincy won't release a list of performers until he has everybody locked in. But some names that have been mentioned so far include Will Smith, Jennifer Hudson, Miley Cyrus, Jason Mraz, Sheryl Crow, Mya, Sugarland and Justin Bieber. --MICHAEL JACKSON'S vocals from the original "We Are the World" will be used. And LIONEL RICHIE . . . who co-wrote the song with Michael back in the day . . . will also take part.


BET IS DOING ITS OWN HAITI SHOW:

BET will air a benefit concert for Haiti next Friday, called "SOS Saving Ourselves: Help for Haiti". --QUEEN LATIFAH, DIDDY, PHARRELL WILLIAMS and WYCLEF JEAN are among the performers. The show will also air on MTV and VH1.
#1.) The first trailer for OLIVER STONE'S "Wall Street" sequel, "Money Never Sleeps", is online. The movie stars MICHAEL DOUGLAS and SHIA LABEOUF, and it comes out April 23rd. (--Here's the clip . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oV5hEBqYfTE
#2.) DEMI MOORE and MILEY CYRUS are in talks to play mother and daughter in the remake of a French movie called "L.O.L.: Laughing Out Loud". --It's a movie about a 15-year-old girl dealing with the usual boy problems, plus a strained relationship with her 40-year-old divorced mom.
#3.) Miramax Films is officially dead. Disney, which bought the studio in 1993, officially closed its doors yesterday. Founders BOB and HARVEY WEINSTEIN left in 2005. --A ton of classic independent movies came out of Miramax over the years, including "Sex, Lies and Videotape", "Clerks", "The Piano", "Reservoir Dogs", "The Crying Game", "The English Patient" . . . --. . . "Pulp Fiction", "Trainspotting", "Good Will Hunting", "Life Is Beautiful", "Shakespeare in Love", "The Talented Mr. Ripley" and "Gangs of New York" . . . just to name a few.
JAY LENO TOLD HIS SIDE OF THE STORY ON "OPRAH":

JAY LENO was on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" yesterday . . . and as expected, he talked at-length about NBC's Late-Night Mess. --The talk was candid and pretty interesting . . . but as usual, Jay played the victim, and didn't take any responsibility for what happened to CONAN O'BRIEN. Here are some highlights: --First off, Jay would like Team Conan to know that he didn't steal Conan's job . . . instead, a, quote, "perfect storm" came and gave him the "Tonight Show" back. --He said, quote, "I wasn't the reason. The reason was the ratings. --"It all comes down to numbers in show business. This is almost the perfect storm of bad things happening. You have two hit shows: 'The Tonight Show' [ranked] Number One, and ['Late Night with Conan O'Brien' ranked] Number One. -"You move them both to another situation. And what are the odds that both would do extremely poorly? If Conan's numbers had been a little bit higher, it wouldn't even be an issue. But in show business, there's always somebody waiting in the wings . . . being me." --Jay bashed the way NBC handled everything . . . and said he wasn't comfortable discussing the situation with Conan as it was all coming down. --He said, quote, "It wasn't my place to call Conan. They made this offer to me. And I said, 'Do you think Conan will go for this?' And they said, 'We'll ask him tomorrow.' [I said] 'OK, let me know what happens.' --"And then . . . I guess Conan had his article in the paper and that was that." (--Jay also told Oprah that he hadn't talked with Conan since everything hit the fan . . . but that he hoped to, once things, quote, "cool down.") --He added, quote, "Anything [that NBC could have done] would have been better than this. If they had come in and shot everybody, it would have been, 'Oh, people were murdered,' but at least it would have been a two-day story. --"NBC could not have handled it worse. From 2004 onward, this whole thing was a huge mess." --Jay also took a little shot at Conan's claim that moving the "Tonight Show" to 12:05 A.M. would be, quote, "destructive to the franchise." --Jay said, quote, "Well, if you look at where [Conan's 'Tonight Show'] ratings were . . . it was already destructive to the franchise." (--Ooh . . . SNAP!!!) --He does admit that he was also struggling . . . quote, "'The Jay Leno Show' failed because it was basically doing a late-night talk show at 10 o'clock. I was given enough time, [but] I got fired this time because my show did not perform."

JAY LENO FEELS VILIFIED:

JAY LENO told OPRAH that he feels he's been unfairly treated as a VILLAIN in NBC's Late-Night Mess. He said, quote, "I think [I am]. But I think you have to look for a bad guy. --"I mean, I think it's funny that they have a picture of me and ROMAN POLANSKI. Somehow these are quite similar. You have a TV show; he had sex with a 13-year old girl with Quaaludes. Yeah, that's about equal. --"I always felt I was doing the right thing. How can you do the right thing and have it go so wrong? Maybe I'm doing something wrong if this many people are angry and upset over a television show. I had a show. My show got canceled. --"Who wouldn't take that job? To me, [retiring] seemed like the selfish thing to do. I think I'm a good guy. Am I not a good guy? I fight for the people who work here." --Oddly enough, Jay said he sympathizes with Conan. He said, quote, "I felt really bad for Conan. I thought it was unfair." He also called Conan a, quote, "good guy" and a "good performer." --He also said he'd love to have Conan as a guest on "The Tonight Show" when he returns on March 1st. (--For some reason, I don't see that happening.) --He added, quote, "I hope Conan gets a job somewhere else and we all compete together. And the best man wins."


JAY LENO ADMITTED HE WASN'T PLANNING ON RETIRING WHEN HE AGREED TO HAND OVER "THE TONIGHT SHOW":

As you probably know by now, NBC's Late-Night Mess began back in 2004, when NBC talked JAY LENO into agreeing to give CONAN O'BRIEN "The Tonight Show" in 2009 . . . so they could keep Conan from leaving NBC. --Well, on "Oprah" yesterday, Jay said he felt, quote, "disrespected" when NBC initially asked him to step down. He said, quote, "That was pretty shocking. It broke my heart. It really did . . . I was devastated. --"This was the job that I had always wanted and this was the only job that ever mattered in show business . . . to me. It's the job every comic aspires to. --"It was just like, why? I'm not a person who carries my emotions on my sleeve. But you know something, I'm happy with what I had. ['The Tonight Show'] was a tremendous success up to that point." --He also copped to telling a, quote, "little white lie on the air" when he said he was going to retire in 2009. He said, quote, "It made it easier that way" . . . but he was always planning on leaving the network and continuing his career elsewhere. --He did ask NBC to let him out of his contract in 2008, but they wouldn't . . . and that's when they hatched their idea to create a "new" talk show for Jay in primetime.


JAY LENO-RELATED RANDOMS:

#1.) Here's what JAY LENO said about being ambushed by JIMMY KIMMEL on HIS OWN SHOW . . . quote, "I got sucker-punched." --Jay said he could have edited the segment or cut it out, but, quote, "I said, 'No. Put it out there. I walked into it.' [When you get hit,] you get right up again. You don't whine and complain."
#3.) CONAN O'BRIEN went out with a bang. About 10.3 million people watched his final episode of "The Tonight Show" last Friday. --That was Conan's biggest "Tonight Show" audience. It beat his first episode, which was seen by around 9.2 million people last June. In addition, Conan also averaged 5.3 million viewers across all last week. "Letterman" averaged 3.9 million viewers. (--Conan averaged more viewers during his first week . . . but the 5.3 million last week was a huge bump from his overall average, which was just 2.8 million viewers.)


THE UPDATED GRAMMY PERFORMERS LIST:

The Grammys have announced that EMINEM, LIL WAYNE, DRAKE and BLINK-182 drummer TRAVIS BARKER will team-up for a, quote, "special performance" at this year's ceremony, which will air this Sunday night on CBS. --It's unclear what they will be performing . . . but the lineup of rappers is close to the all-star group that did Drake's "Forever" track . . . only minus KANYE WEST. (--There's nothing to suggest Grammy producers intentionally kept Kanye off-stage. We don't even know if Kanye will be there. He is up for a few awards.) --LADY GAGA will also perform. She'll open the show with a surprise guest. The "New York Post" thinks it'll be ELTON JOHN, but we don't know that for sure. --Previously announced performers include: Mary J. Blige and Andrea Bocelli, Beyoncé, the Black Eyed Peas, Dave Matthews Band and Taylor Swift, Bon Jovi, Green Day, Lady Antebellum, Maxwell, Pink and the Zac Brown Band. --Plus, there will be a MICHAEL JACKSON tribute . . . featuring Celine Dion, Jennifer Hudson, Smokey Robinson, Carrie Underwood and Usher.


#1.) SAMANTHA HARRIS is leaving "Dancing with the Stars" . . . (--but unlike everyone else, she hasn't suffered a broken collarbone or any other serious injury.) --She said she quit to devote more time to her other gigs, at "The Insider" and "Entertainment Tonight". The search to find her replacement has already begun. (--Samantha co-hosted the show with TOM BERGERON for the past eight seasons.)


#2.) TMZ reports that two "Jersey Shore" stars . . . RONNIE and J-WOWW . . . have signed new contracts with MTV to do a second season. As we'd heard, they'll get $10,000 per episode. Supposedly, everyone else is still "holding out." --But in a radio interview yesterday . .. . J-Woww said that the cast is still, quote, "playing the wait game." She said she didn't expect to know what's going to happen until next week.


#3.) The CW is developing two new shows for next season. One will be another take on "La Femme Nikita", a French movie about a female assassin. It's being produced by MCG, the director behind "Charlie's Angels" and "Terminator Salvation". (--The USA Network already did "La Femme Nikita" as a series starring PETA WILSON. It ran from 1997 to 2001. The 1993 flick "Point of No Return", starring BRIDGET FONDA, was also a remake.) --The other new show is a family drama set on a horse farm in Wyoming. (???) If it makes it any more interesting, it's being done by Amy Sherman-Palladino . . . the same woman who created "Gilmore Girls".


FRIDAY TV REMINDERS:

--"Dollhouse" [SERIES Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.
--"Kitchen Nightmares" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

SATURDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"Miss America 2010" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC. (--Vivica A. Fox, Shawn Johnson, Dave Koz and Rush Limbaugh are the judges . . . and Mario Lopez and hosts with "What Not To Wear's" Clinton Kelly.)
--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Jon Hamm guest hosts and Michael Bublé is the musical guest.)

SUNDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"2010 Pro Bowl Game" [All-Star Game] . . . 7:20 to 10:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The AFC battles the NFC at Sun Life Stadium in Miami.) --"The 52nd Annual Grammy Awards" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Performers include . . . Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, Black Eyed Peas, Bon Jovi, Green Day, Lady Antebellum, Maxwell, Pink, Dave Matthews Band and Lady Gaga.)http://www.grammy.com/nominees/
--"The Simpsons" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on Fox. (--Coldplay singer Chris Martin plays himself when Homer buys a lottery ticket that may be worth a million-dollars.)
--"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Jewel and her rodeo husband Ty Murray help build a house for a woman battling cancer.)
--"Saturday Night Live: Sports Extra" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. (--A compilation of sports-themed skits from the past three decades.)
--"Little Chocolatiers" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC. (--A reality series about the owners of Hatch Family Chocolates . . . a Salt Lake City business run by Steve and Katie Hatch, who also happen to be little people.)
--"Las Vegas Jailhouse" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TruTV.


HAS OZZY OSBOURNE DONE SO MANY DRUGS THAT ANESTHETICS DON'T WORK ON HIM???

In an interview with the "Boston Phoenix", OZZY OSBOURNE suggested that anesthetics don't work too well on him, because he's done too many drugs in his life. --He said, quote, "I went for a colonoscopy and the guy puts a syringe full of white stuff in me, and he goes, 'So how long you been doing rock and roll?' --"And I'm talking to him, and he's talking to me, and he goes, 'Why aren't you asleep yet?'" Ozzy laughed and added, quote, "Well, no, I'm not bragging about it, because, you know what? I'm so (effing) lucky I woke up every morning."


JOE JONAS SAYS THE JONAS BROTHERS ARE NOT SPLITTING UP:

For the last time, NICK JONAS' side project NICK JONAS & THE ADMINISTRATION is NOT a sign that the JONAS BROTHERS are breaking up. --JOE JONAS tells "People" magazine, quote, "We are happy being a band, and it's what we've always wanted to do. We are not breaking up. There's no reason for us to do that."


MARIAH CAREY HAS RELEASED TWO NEW VIDEOS:

MARIAH CAREY released two new videos yesterday. The first one is for a song called "Up Out My Face" . . . (???) . . . featuring NICKI MINAJ. (--Here's the link to that one . . .)http://www.vevo.com/watch/mariah-carey/up-out-my-face/USUV71000091--And the second one is for "Angels Cry", which features NE-YO. http://www.vevo.com/watch/mariah-carey/angels-cry/USUV71000065--Both videos were co-directed by NICK CANNON . . . who landed the gig solely based on an impressive directing portfolio, which features various episodes of "Nick Cannon Presents: Wild 'N Out" and "Nick Cannon Presents: Short Circuitz".(--"Up Out My Face" and "Angels Cry" will appear on Mariah's upcoming remix album, "Angels Advocate". It's scheduled to drop on March 30th.)


NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF
YOU CAN HELP THE HAITIAN RELIEF EFFORT BY DONATING YOUR BREAST MILK:

Just because money's tight right now, that doesn't mean there's nothing you can do to help the Haitian relief effort. Listen to this . . . --Last week, Navy doctors on the USNS Comfort . . . a floating hospital docked off the coast of Haiti . . . put out a call requesting BREAST MILK donations to feed Haitian infants orphaned by the earthquake. --Officials say it's better to feed babies breast milk than formula for two reasons:
#1.) Intestinal and respiratory infections are common after natural disasters, and breast milk contains antibodies that will help babies fight off infection.
#2.) And unlike formula, breast milk doesn't need to be mixed with water. Which is good since clean drinking water is in short supply in Haiti. --So far, breast milk banks around the country have sent about 500 ounces of breast milk to aid the Haitian relief effort . . . but that's still not enough. -According to a donor in Ohio, quote, "I would be very proud to know that my milk would be used to help orphaned infants or infants who are hospitalized." (Columbus Dispatch / Parent Dish)(--You can get more information about donating your breast milk to Haiti here . . .)http://www.hmbana.org/index/haiti
THE LABRADOR RETRIEVER IS THE MOST POPULAR DOG BREED FOR THE 19TH STRAIGHT YEAR:

This week, the American Kennel Club released its annual list of the ten most popular DOG BREEDS, based on pet registration statistics from last year. Check it out:
#1.) Labrador Retriever (--This is the 19th straight year the Labrador Retriever has taken the top spot on the list.)
#2.) German Shepherd
#3.) Yorkshire Terrier
#4.) Golden Retriever
#5.) Beagle
#6.) Boxer
#7.) Bulldog
#8.) Dachshund
#9.) Poodle
#10.) Shih Tzu
(Paw Nation)


A BUNCH OF METAL-HEADS IN THE UK ARE TRYING TO GET "HEAVY METAL" RECOGNIZED AS AN OFFICIAL RELIGION:

During Britain's last census in 2001, a bunch of sci-fi dorks started a write-in campaign to make being a Jedi from "Star Wars" an officially recognized religion. --When all was said and done, 390,000 people listed Jedi as their religious affiliation, making it the fourth largest religion in the UK after Christianity, Islam and Hinduism. That's right . . . there are officially more Jedis in the UK than Jews. (???) --Anyway, now a rock magazine called "Metal Hammer" has launched a campaign to get "heavy metal" recognized as an official religion too, by starting a similar write-in campaign for the upcoming census. --A guy named Alexander Milas is the editor of "Metal Hammer". He says, quote: -"2010 is a very special year in the annals of Heavy Metal history. BLACK SABBATH came out with their debut 40 years ago next month. It did seem like a great time to celebrate how huge this thing has become." --Last week, Alexander and other heavy metal "followers" set up a Facebook page called "Heavy Metal for the 2011 Census." In just one week, it's already got 10,000 fans. (Toronto Sun / Asylum)


A WOMAN IN BALTIMORE WAS BITTEN BY A POISONOUS COBRA IN A SHOPPING CENTER PARKING LOT:

I know you think you've probably "heard it all" by now, but here's the thing: You haven't. --Last Sunday night, an unidentified woman was walking through a shopping center parking lot in White Marsh, Maryland, outside Baltimore. She says she bent down to pick up a stick . . . but it turned out to be a VENOMOUS MONOCLED COBRA. --Sure enough, it bit her. Authorities think it was a pet that somehow got loose, because there's no way it could have survived outside in January weather. --And while the venom of the Monocled Cobra is poisonous enough to instantly kill rodents, lizards and birds, to fix a human bite you just need the antivenom. But that stuff's insanely toxic too, so you need to know exactly which kind of snake bit you. --Luckily, the woman stuffed the snake in a bag and took it with her to the hospital. Long story short, they choppered some antivenom in from the Philadelphia Zoo, and the woman is fine. The snake was taken to a local zoo. (WBAL Baltimore)--You can read the whole story, and check out a picture of the snake, here . . .)http://www.wbaltv.com/news/22347707/detail.html


A LAWMAKER IN PENNSYLVANIA WANTS TO MAKE THE LONG RIFLE THE STATE'S OFFICIAL GUN:

Every state has its own official state bird, state tree and state motto. And now, if a Republican State Senator named Pat Browne gets his way, Pennsylvania will have an official state GUN too. --Recently, Browne sponsored a bill that would designate the Pennsylvania Long Rifle as the state's official firearm. Here's his case:#1.) The Pennsylvania Long Rifle is made of iron and wood that is native to Pennsylvania.#2.) It was originally developed by Pennsylvanian settlers in the mid-1700s, so it has actual historic value.#3.) And it's been argued that the rifle's unique color combinations, carvings and engraved brass-work hold some artistic value as well. --If the bill passes, Pennsylvania would become the first state in the country to have an official state firearm. (--If this passes, you just know all kinds of Southerners are going to be up in arms about it. Not because they're morally opposed, but because they didn't think of it first.) (Patriot-News)


NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) This airport janitor stands on a moving walkway and cleans a glass wall without moving a muscle. He holds his squeegees in one place and lets the walkway do the work.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANCa-Y2nvOc(Search Terms: how to clean on a moving sidewalk in China)

#2.) "Mad TV" came up with the iPad in 2006. Only, their version connects from a woman to her computer, and lasts for 1,000 periods. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsjU0K8QPhs(Search Terms: "Mad TV" iPad)

#3.) A kid jumps onto the hood of his friend's moving car to scare him, and accidentally smashes in the windshield. (--Warning: This video contains profanity.)http://www.break.com/index/kid-breaks-buddies-windshield.html(Search Terms: kid breaks buddy's windshield Break.com)
#4.) A woman's cat knocks a TV on her head while she's doing sit-ups.http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1928509(Search Terms: cat attempts murder TV video)
FIVE MISTAKES TO AVOID WHEN THROWING A PARTY:

If you're having people over, make sure you don't do something to ruin the vibe. Here's "Cosmo's" list of five mistakes to avoid when throwing a party . . .
#1.) INVITING PEOPLE TOO FAR AHEAD OF TIME. Don't invite people at the last minute, but don't invite them three months early either. They'll forget, and you don't want to send out a million reminders if you're calling or emailing people yourself. --Just use Evite, and they'll send people reminders. If you're sending out invitations by mail, send them two weeks ahead of time if it's casual, and a month ahead of time if it's more formal.
#2.) HAVING TOO MANY SEATS. It sounds weird, but unless it's a dinner party, you don't need seats for everyone. Parties are always better if people are walking around and mingling. Cosmo says the magic number is one chair for every two people.
#3.) NOT DEALING WITH A BAD GUEST. If somebody gets too drunk and things get awkward, it's your job to deal with it. And it's okay to call a cab. If you let the person stay, everyone else will eventually leave.
#4.) FORGETTING TO CLEAN THE BATHROOM. It's the one thing everyone will use. So at least make sure the sink and the toilet are clean. And hide the stuff in your medicine cabinet that you don't want people to see.
#5.) PAYING FOR ALL THE BOOZE. Don't pay for the whole party. There's no shame in asking your guests to bring food or alcohol. -"Cosmo" suggests making a list of all the stuff you'll need, then taking on the ones you can handle, and farming the rest out to your friends. (Cosmopolitan.com)


HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE JUST A HOOK-UP . . . OR SOMETHING MORE:

If you're seeing someone, but you're unsure about where you stand, here are five signs that you're just a hook-up . . .

#1.) YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE DOING THE DIALING. When you're dating someone, there should be mutual calling back and forth. --So if the other person's not down with lengthy phone conversations, they're probably only interested in something casual. In fact, communicating solely through text messaging guarantees you'll never transition into a meaningful conversation.

#2.) YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT BEING EXCLUSIVE. If the other person goes out all the time without you, with no explanation, don't assume you're exclusive. Giving someone space is one thing, but turning a blind eye is another.
#3.) YOU NEVER MEET THEIR FRIENDS. It doesn't matter if you spend every night for a month cuddling on the couch . . . you're not dating until you meet the other person's friends. -If someone's not willing to show you off, they're probably still on the dating scene, and consider themselves 'available.'
#4.) YOU'VE BEEN ASKED TO WAIT UNTIL THEY'RE "IN A BETTER PLACE." When people are looking to keep things casual, they use phrases like, "I have to work on me, before I can be good to anyone else." --There's something about seeming emotionally vulnerable that gets you out of any relationship obligations. --But the truth is, this kind of excuse is just that . . . an excuse. When someone really wants to spend time with you, they will, regardless of whether they're busy at work, getting over a break-up, or unsure of what the future holds.
#5.) THE ONLY THING YOU EVER DO IS HAVE SEX. I don't think I should have to explain this one, but I will just in case: If the only thing you EVER do when you hang out with someone is BONE . . . you're just hooking up, and you're not dating. Get it? (Match.com)

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