HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (10-18-10)
ALICIA KEYS GAVE BIRTH ON THURSDAY:
ALICIA KEYS is a momma! Her baby entered our world this past Thursday. It's a boy . . . and his name is Egypt Daoud Dean. He's the first child for Alicia and her husband, producer Kasseem "Swizz Beatz" Dean. --He has three other kids.
COURTENEY COX AND DAVID ARQUETTE PLAY A BORED MARRIED COUPLE IN "SCREAM 4":
We were wondering about the dynamic of COURTENEY COX and DAVID ARQUETTE'S characters in "Scream 4", and now we know: They're a BORED MARRIED COUPLE. --Courteney says, quote, "We've been married for 10 years. I kinda gave up my job as the entertainment journalist . . . I'm bored with my life and bored with my marriage." (--David has said that the marital problems really came to a head and they stopped sleeping together about a month before filming on "Scream 4" began. So obviously, they were able to use that in their performances.) (--It'll be interesting to watch this movie when it comes out in April and try to figure out when they're acting vs. when they're just being real.)
USHER WANTS A HAREM, NOT ANOTHER WIFE:
Now that USHER is divorced, he's in no hurry to make that mistake again. He says, quote, "Seeing how marriage didn't work out for me the first time, I'm in no rush to do it again." --Instead, he's got a better idea . . . quote, "Maybe I can find a couple of women who are open-minded. Look at how Hugh Hefner does it, with a harem of women." --Whether he's being serious or not, Usher probably really COULD start a harem. Because he's still got women hitting on him all the time. --He says, quote, "(Crap), what haven't they said to me? Every so often you meet a woman who's very aggressive. 'I'll make you feel things you've never felt in your life.' 'Once you get it, you'll never let it go.' All that." --And Usher admits that he's not above falling for a woman's sexual pitch. Asked if those lines have ever worked on him, he says, quote, "A couple of times." --Usher also compares his divorce last year from his wife Tameka to the LINDSAY LOHAN situation . . . quote, "People love a train wreck. Lindsay Lohan . . . everybody is eager to see how that comes out. This is somewhat the same thing."
NOW THAT SHE'S 30, KIM KARDASHIAN IS TOO OLD TO POSE NUDE AGAIN:
Anyone who's anticipating KIM KARDASHIAN'S next nude photo shoot may have a long time to wait. Kim turns 30 this coming Thursday, and that makes her TOO OLD to take off her clothes for the camera anymore. --Sure, her opinion could change, but for the moment she says, quote, "I'm too old for that now. I wanted to get it all out of my system before I turned 30." --If she holds onto that mindset, then her final nudes will be the ones she did for "W" magazine, where she's covered in silver paint. And at least she went out with a bang. --She says, quote, "I'm really honored they chose me for the art issue. It turned out beautifully, and I love it." --Kim doesn't really know how to feel about turning 30 . . . but it sounds like she has a decent handle on it. She says, quote, "I have mixed feelings. Sometimes I'm like, 'Oh my god, I'm turning 30,' and I'm freaking out. --"Like, it sounds so old. And then the other half of me is like, I feel so accomplished and it's really no different than 29."
DANNY MCBRIDE IS MARRIED:
DANNY MCBRIDE . . . the comedic GENIUS who plays Kenny Powers on HBO's "Eastbound and Down" . . . got married on Friday. His new wife is Gia Ruiz, who works in the art department on his show.
BARBARA BILLINGSLEY . . . A.K.A. JUNE CLEAVER FROM "LEAVE IT TO BEAVER" . . . HAS PASSED AWAY:
BARBARA BILLINGSLEY died on Saturday after a long illness. She was 94. Barbara played Beaver's mom, June Cleaver, on the classic sitcom "Leave It To Beaver". --Sure, FLORENCE HENDERSON gets all the love these days as everybody's favorite TV mom. But June Cleaver set the standard long before Carol Brady came along. --"Beaver" ran from 1957 to 1963. "The Brady Bunch" premiered in 1969. (--There was also a follow-up series called "The New Leave It To Beaver". It ran from 1984 to 1989 . . . but it's probably best not to talk about it.) (???) --For those few who don't know, "Leave It To Beaver" was the epitome of the whole 1950s American dream, life-is-great, white-picket-fence family sitcom. -As the mom in that scenario, June was a very beloved character. --But in retrospect, a lot of people would argue that she and other TV moms of that time were BAD examples for women, because they were basically just repressed domestic servants who never left the house and lived to bring their TV husbands a pipe and slippers when they got home from work.
--JERRY MATHERS . . . who played young Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver . . . had this to say . . . quote, "Barbara was a patient advisor and teacher. She helped me along this challenging journey through life by showing me the importance of manners, and respect for others. --"She will be missed by all of her family, friends, fans and most especially by me."
--TONY DOW . . . who played Beaver's older brother Wally . . . said, quote, "She was as happy as a lark being recognized as America's mom.
-"She had a terrific life and had a wonderful impact on everybody she knew, and even people she didn't know." --Sure, Barbara will always be associated with June Cleaver . . . but perhaps her BEST work was in the 1980 comedy classic "Airplane". --She's the elderly white woman who just happens to SPEAK JIVE . . . and she acts as a TRANSLATOR in a conversation between a stewardess and two black passengers.
(--Here's that scene . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymMBEwtRZOg
(--And here's an interview with Barbara discussing that role years later . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUw2fIa0dSI
--Barbara was also the voice of the nanny on the animated series "Muppet Babies" . . . which ran from 1984 to 1991. --Barbara was married three times. Her first marriage ended in divorce, but her other two husbands died on her. She's survived by two sons. --She was also related by marriage to PETER BILLINGSLEY . . . who played Ralphie in "A Christmas Story".
"MANIMAL" IS DEAD:
SIMON MACCORKINDALE . . . who played the title character in the short-lived NBC series "Manimal" . . . died last Thursday after a battle with bowel cancer. He was 58. --In "Manimal", MacCorkindale played Dr. Jonathan Chase . . . a guy who had the power to change himself into any animal he wanted to. And, of course, he used that power to fight crime. --Most of the time he only changed into a hawk or a black panther. But in some episodes he would change into a third animal . . . such as a snake, a horse or a dolphin. The show premiered in 1983 and lasted a whopping EIGHT episodes. --MacCorkindale also played sleazy lawyer Greg Reardon on the '80s primetime soap "Falcon Crest", and he got eaten alive in "Jaws 3D". --He's survived by his second wife, actress SUSAN GEORGE. (--Here's the "Manimal" intro. It's relatively low quality, but you can still tell why the show didn't last all that long . . . but also why it has a pretty rabid cult following to this day . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQZxRH6uoiY
DID JUSTIN BIEBER PUNCH A 12-YEAR-OLD KID WHILE PLAYING LASER TAG? PROBABLY NOT:
The nation of Canada was ROCKED this weekend by news that JUSTIN BIEBER had allegedly punched a 12-year-old kid in the face during a game of laser tag. (???) The thing is, it's probably not true. -The alleged incident occurred Friday evening at the Planet Lazer Entertainment Center in Richmond, British Columbia. --The 12-year-old complained to staff that Justin popped him . . . and the kid's dad later reported it to the MOUNTIES. (--That's the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. And yes, they do exist. They didn't just make them up for cartoons.) --The kid wasn't really hurt, though, and it sounds like he wasn't even hit. It's pretty likely that nothing is going to come of this. --Staffers at Planet Lazer have told the press that Justin was being, quote, "followed around and heavily targeted during the game." --According to one version of the events, Justin had been cornered by several kids, and he accidentally hit the boy while trying to push his way past them. --Another version incorporates some HOMOPHOBIA into the story . . . not to mention that F-word that rhymes with the last name of my very favorite comedian, BOB SAGET. --One source says that this particular kid was on Justin's tail throughout the game. And at one point, he got him cornered and wouldn't stop shooting at him. --Justin said, quote, "That's enough" . . . and the 12-year-old responded, quote, "What are you gonna do about it, (F-word)?" --Justin replied, quote, "Excuse me?" . . . and the kid said, quote, "You're a (F-word)." The kid then put his hand out toward Justin . . . and Justin pushed it away and walked off. --In every version of the story, it seems clear that Justin did NOT punch the kid. (--Every version except that of the 12-year-old and his father, that is.) --Police reportedly DID look into this . . . but from what anyone can gather, it sounds like they know Justin didn't do anything wrong.
IT'S ON!!! BETWEEN CHELSEA HANDLER AND NICK CANNON:
CHELSEA HANDLER made a crack about NICK CANNON'S comedic stylings on Twitter . . . and now IT'S ON!!! --Chelsea started the feud on Thursday when she Tweeted, quote, "I just heard Nick Cannon is starting a comedy tour. Who's going to do the comedy?" --Cannon replied, quote, "Wow @chelseahandler I actually used to have respect for you as a comic. But for one artist to diss another in the same art form. #Tasteless. --"Soon as I get off stage tonight, I'm going in on @chelseahandler I'm about to be relentless! OFF WITH HER HEAD but right now I got to focus." --Chelsea then posted a picture of grape soda, and said, quote, "@nickcannon pls drink this before you tweet me again." --True to his word, Nick countered with a SERIES of cracks on Chelsea. Here are his Tweets . . . --"Funny how all of @chelseahandler fans are coming at me like I did something to her. I don't even know this broad! She on my (crap)! But since it's all in fun and supposedly just comedy, Let's get to the mutha(effin') JOKES!!" --"Everyone knows @Chelseahandler had sex with the head of E! for her show. So when it gets canceled does he get residual (kitty) for the reruns?" --"@Chelseahandler Looks like she got hit in the face with a hot bag of nickels!" --"Just talked to @50Cent. He said he made @chelseahandler get G-Unit tattooed on her balls!" --"@50Cent wasn't hitting @chelseahandler they was just sharing testosterone tips." --"@Chelseahandler @Howardstern @Eminem Why do all these angry ugly whitetrash folks want beef with me? What I do? I'm a harmless corny dude!" --"@chelseahandler is like the new @joanrivers just without the funny and more plastic surgery." --Then, after all that, he added this . . . quote, "Just jokes people, LOL! Well I got to be at my next job in a few hours so I will continue the jokes on my morning show." (--That's pretty much how they left it. But there could be more. If you'd like to follow Chelsea and Nick's respective Twitter feeds for potential updates, here are the links . . .)
http://twitter.com/#!/NickCannon/
http://twitter.com/#!/chelseahandler
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS AND HIS PARTNER ARE DADS:
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS and his partner, David Burtka, are dads. Their surrogate gave birth to twins . . . a boy and a girl . . . last Tuesday. They named them Gideon Scott and Harper Grace. --Neil Tweeted, quote, "Babies!! On 10/12, Gideon Scott and Harper Grace entered the Burtka-Harris fold. All of us are happy, healthy, tired and a little pukey."
CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO OF SHIA LABEOUF THROWING COFFEE AT A PAPARAZZI SCUMBAG:
SHIA LABEOUF is either a HERO or a COWARD for his actions the other day in Washington, D.C. --Shia got fed up with some paparazzi scumbag who was filming him at a cafe . . . so he ran up to the guy and threw his coffee at him. But then he KEPT ON RUNNING.
(--Check out the video here . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-IAO3gfRfo
"JACKASS 3-D" MADE TWICE AS MUCH AS BRUCE WILLIS:
"Jackass 3-D" had the biggest October opening weekend EVER. It earned $50 million in its first three days of release. (--The previous record was set in 2003 by "Scary Movie 3", which made $48.1 million.) --Meanwhile, the BRUCE WILLIS action flick "Red" "only" made $22.5 million, less than half of what "Jackass" earned. Here are the Top 10 movies . . .
1.) (NEW) "Jackass 3-D", $50 million
2.) (NEW) "Red", $22.5 million
3.) "The Social Network", $11 million (--Up to $63.1 million in its 3rd week.)
"THE HOBBIT" HAS BEEN GIVEN THE GREEN LIGHT . . . WITH PETER JACKSON DIRECTING:
The two "Hobbit" movies have been given the green light . . . and PETER JACKSON will indeed direct. --Jackson directed the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy . . . and he was only supposed to be on board as a producer this time. But after GUILLERMO DEL TORO backed out due to numerous production delays, Peter jumped back in. --He issued a statement saying, quote, "Exploring Tolkien's Middle-earth goes way beyond a normal film-making experience. --"It's an all-immersive journey into a very special place of imagination, beauty and drama. We're looking forward to re-entering this wondrous world with Gandalf and Bilbo . . . and our friends at New Line Cinema, Warner Brothers and MGM." --SIR IAN MCKELLEN is coming back as Gandalf. But there's no word yet who'll play Bilbo Baggins. --SIR IAN HOLM played Bilbo in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, but he's 79 years old. The events of "The Hobbit" take place 60 years earlier . . . so obviously they'll need a much younger actor --There's no word yet on any other casting . . . although it's more than likely that ANDY SERKIS will play Gollum again.
THE "SCREAM AWARDS' WERE TAPED SATURDAY NIGHT:
Spike TV's "2010 Scream Awards" taped Saturday night. Here's a quick roundup . . .
--Best Horror Movie went to "Zombieland" . . . and BILL MURRAY accepted the award in a Ghostbusters uniform. (--Was he commenting on the long-rumored "Ghostbusters 3"? Probably not.)
--SIGOURNEY WEAVER won the award for Best Heroine.
--Not surprisingly, "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" picked up some hardware, including Ultimate Scream and Best Fantasy Movie.
--ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART won Best Actor and Actress in a Fantasy Movie, respectively. And XAVIER SAMUEL, who played Riley in "Eclipse", won Breakout Male Performance.
--MICKEY ROURKE won Best Villain for "Iron Man 2" . . . while ALEXANDER SKARSGARD won Best Horror Actor for "True Blood".
--And "The Human Centipede" won an award for Most Memorable Mutilation. (???)
--"Lost" cast members also got together for a final farewell . . . and MICHAEL J. FOX and CHRISTOPHER LLOYD had a mini-"Back to the Future" reunion.
--Footage from the upcoming "Scream 4" was also presented by cast members David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Emma Roberts and director Wes Craven. Interestingly enough, Courteney Cox was NOT in attendance. (--The "Scream Awards" air tomorrow night at 9:00 P.M. on Spike TV.)
CHECK OUT THE TRAILER FOR NICOLAS CAGE'S NEW MOVIE, "DRIVE ANGRY":
In his new movie "Drive Angry", NICOLAS CAGE plays a dead man who escapes from Hell in order to go after a cult that killed his daughter and kidnapped her baby. --The trailer hit the web this weekend, and it looks like this might be a pretty kick-ass action flick. It hits theaters in February. (--Here's the trailer . . .) http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810152301/video/22444680
IS THIS THE CAST OF THE NEXT "CELEBRITY APPRENTICE"?
A cast list for "Celebrity Apprentice" has leaked online. It hasn't been confirmed yet, but several websites are running with it as if it's official. --According to "Las Vegas Weekly", DONALD TRUMP hosted a cocktail party in Vegas this weekend so the cast could get to know each other before filming begins. And that's how these names got out. --If this list IS real, apparently Trump is going to make a run at picking up ratings by tapping into some SERIOUS crazy. For real . . . a lot of the "celebrities" are at least mostly insane.
--Here's the list:
--Gary Busey, NeNe Leakes . . . (--arguably the most insane cast member of "Real Housewives of Atlanta") . . . country singer John Rich, of Big & Rich . . .
--La Toya Jackson . . . singer and Psychic Friend Dionne Warwick, Meat Loaf, crunk rapper Lil Jon, steroid-using former baseball stud (turned whistleblower) Jose Canseco, supermodel Niki Taylor and Playboy Playmate Hope Dworaczyk . . . --Star Jones, Lisa Rinna, deaf actress Marlee Matlin, Sugar Ray singer Mark McGrath, former "Partridge Family" star David Cassidy . . . --And Richard Hatch, the naked gay guy who won a million bucks on the first season of "Survivor" . . . and then went to prison for not paying taxes on it. He got out last October. --"Celebrity Apprentice" is will premiere early next year.
BARBARA WALTERS FINDS THE "JERSEY SHORE" CAST "FASCINATING":
The "Jersey Shore" cast will make BARBARA WALTERS' annual "10 Most Fascinating People" list . . . or at least "Life & Style" magazine says they will. --Apparently, Barbara is planning on lumping them together as one entity. (--They shouldn't mind . . . they pretty much lump themselves together into one entity.) --There's no word on who else may be on the list. Barbara's "10 Most Fascinating People of 2010" special will air on ABC on December 9th.
NIGEL LYTHGOE SAYS THERE WILL BE A WIDER VARIETY ON "AMERICAN IDOL" THIS YEAR . . . BECAUSE SIMON COWELL IS GONE:
"American Idol" executive producer NIGEL LYTHGOE says there will be a wider variety of singers in the competition this year . . . because SIMON COWELL won't be there to veto the styles he doesn't like. --Nigel says, quote, "We've [had] some incredible country voices. In truth, Simon would have gotten rid of them straight-away because he wasn't a country fan. --"This season we have a 16-year-old kid with an incredible voice and a jazz kid who does this fabulous scat-singing. Again, we wouldn't have had him on the show because Simon would have said, 'He's not an American Idol! Get rid of him!' --"What you are definitely going to get this season is an American voice . . . and American music." (--I don't think that Nigel and Simon always saw eye-to-eye, particularly since Nigel left "Idol" back in 2008. He returned this summer.)
MTV HOST T.J. LAVIN WAS SERIOUSLY INJURED IN A BIKE CRASH:
MTV host and BMX star T.J. LAVIN was seriously hurt after crashing his bike at an event last Thursday. Lavin has been the host of MTV's "Real World / Road Rules Challenge" for the past five years. He's currently in critical-but-stable condition. --He was placed in a medically-induced coma to relieve swelling on his brain.
YET ANOTHER TWITTER FEED IS BEING DEVELOPED INTO A TV SHOW:
CBS has just announced its THIRD show to be based on a Twitter feed. (--If you were waiting for the first post-reality trend . . . this might be it.) --This show will be based on a feed called Dear Girls Above Me . . . in which a fictional guy comments on the things he overhears from the ditzy party girls who live in the condo above his. Here are a few samples of the things they've said, followed by his comments: --"He said he was Spanish but not a Mexican. What the hell, that doesn't even make sense!" It does to the entire country of Spain. --"Aww, I felt so bad, this homeless-looking bearded guy on Fairfax actually thought it was New Years." Happy Rosh Hashanah ladies -"I want a guy who's gonna meet me half way, like the Black Eyed Peas song." I want a girl who doesn't quote the Black Eyed Peas. -"You can't go on birth control, your (breasts) will get bigger than mine! We had a plan!" Does this plan involve small boobs and a baby? -We don't have any info on the actual show yet. (--CBS' other Twitter-based shows are: "[Bleep] My Dad Says" and "Shh, Don't Tell Steve", which hasn't hit TV yet.)
MONDAY TV REMINDERS: (--Check your local listings.)
--"Monday Night Football" . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The Jacksonville Jaguars host the Tennessee Titans in Florida.)
--"Dancing with the Stars" [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"House" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--"Dancing with the Stars" minx Jennifer Grey plays a mother whose infant suffers from liver failure and breathing problems.)
--"How I Met Your Mother" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on CBS. (--"House" minx Jennifer Morrison joins the cast as Ted's newest love interest.)
--"Rock of Love with Bret Michaels" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1. (--Riki Rachtman hosts this update on the former cast members.)
--"Operation Repo" [7th Season Finale] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on TruTV.
--"Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on VH1. (--Bret Michaels shows how difficult it can be balancing fatherhood with being a rock star as he begins his first road tour since his brain hemorrhage.)
--"Chase" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Eddie Cibrian guest stars as a bounty hunter who catches the eye of U.S. Marshall Annie.)
--"The Arrangement" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on Logo. (--Antonio Sabato Jr. and a relatively unknown actress named Nicole Sherwin are guest judges.)
KEITH RICHARDS THINKS MICK JAGGER IS ANNOYING . . . AND POORLY ENDOWED, GENITALLY-SPEAKING:
KEITH RICHARDS' new autobiography, "Life", comes out in two weeks . . . and it sounds like he isn't shying away from stirring the pot a little. --According to a brief excerpt published in a British newspaper, Keith talks about becoming annoyed with MICK JAGGER . . . and he also takes a shot at the size of Mick's JUNK. --Keith says that in the early '80s Mick, quote, "started to become unbearable." He also adds, quote, "I used to love Mick, but I haven't been to his dressing room in 20 years. Sometimes I think, 'I miss my friend'. I wonder, 'Where did he go?' […] --"Because I love the man dearly, I'm still his mate. But he makes it very difficult to be his friend." --And while discussing Mick's relationship with MARIANNE FAITHFULL in the late '60s, Keith says, quote, "[She] had no fun with [Mick's] tiny todger. I know he's got an enormous pair of balls . . . but it doesn't quite fill the gap." --In a recent interview, Keith said Mick HAS read the book . . . and he added, quote, "I think it opened his eyes, actually. We've had our beefs but, hey, who doesn't? You try and keep something together for 50 years."
T.I. WAS ORDERED BACK TO PRISON FOR 11 MONTHS . . . AFTER A JUDGE REVOKED HIS PROBATION:
T.I. has had an eventful week. Last Wednesday, he talked an Atlanta man out of jumping from a 22-story office building . . . and on Friday, a federal judge revoked his probation and sent him back to prison for 11 months. --The sentence comes after T.I. and his wife, Tameka "Tiny" Cottle, were busted for drug possession in Los Angeles. T.I. was charged with possessing ecstasy, testing positive for opiates and associating with a convicted felon. (--Some reports say cops also found marijuana. A strong weed odor is what originally caused the officers to do a search, but authorities previously said that other than the ecstasy, no other drugs were found.) --T.I. was on probation for a 2009 conviction on felony weapons charges. (--He was sentenced to 366 days, but only served seven months behind bars. He spent another three months at a halfway house, and was released this past March.) --T.I. begged the judge for leniency, and admitted that he, quote, "screwed up." He also copped to having a drug problem . . . and asked the judge to send him to rehab, not prison. --T.I. said, quote, "I want drugs out of my life. If I can get the treatment and counseling I need . . . I can beat this. I need help. For me, my mother, my kids, I need the court to give me mercy." --But the prosecution told the judge that T.I.'s slip-up undermined the more than 1,000 community service hours he's spent speaking to kids across the country. --They argued, quote, "While he was telling kids to obey the law, he was breaking it. There has to be a significant consequence for undermining the [plea] agreement. He was supposed to be living what he was preaching." --The prosecution was seeking a TWO-year sentence . . . and while T.I. wanted to stay out of prison, the defense reportedly argued for five to eight months. --It's unclear exactly when T.I. will be back in the clink. The judge allowed him two weeks to turn himself in . . . and he hasn't yet. (--At least as of late last night.) --Tiny posted a Twitter message saying, quote, "[Please] send prayers up [for] my husband [and] our family! [And thanks to] all that have been. I [know whatever] happens is God's will :)" (--Yes, she ended it with a "smile" emoticon.) (???)
KANYE WEST SAYS WAL-MART BANNED HIS ALBUM COVER:
KANYE WEST went on Twitter last night to announce that Wal-Mart was NOT feelin' the cover art for his upcoming album, "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy". --He said, quote, "Yoooo they banned my album cover!!!!! Banned in the USA!!! They don't want me chilling on the couch with my phoenix!" --Then he linked to the cover. (--You can check it out below. NOTE: It shows two naked humanlike monsters . . . who are in a somewhat sexual position.) http://twitpic.com/2ykxjk
--Kanye continued, quote, "In the '70s album covers had actual nudity. It's so funny that people forget that . . . everything has been so commercialized now. --"So Nirvana can have a naked human being on [their] cover but I can't have a PAINTING of a monster with no arms and a polka dot tail and wings? --"In all honesty . . . I really don't be thinking about Wal-Mart when I make my music or album covers. I wanna sell albums but not at the expense of my true creativity." --While he's kind of talking tough here, more than likely Wal-mart will sell the album with an ALTERNATE cover. Because I doubt he's going to give up Wal-Mart sales for the sake of that "creativity". (--"My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy" drops November 22nd.)
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
USE THIS WEBSITE TO CALCULATE HOW MANY BIG MACS YOU'D HAVE TO EAT TO WIN THE PRIZES IN MCDONALD'S MONOPOLY:
McDonald's is running its Monopoly game promotion again. And people love it . . . even though it's basically impossible to win anything other than a small fry. --A website called Eat With a Spork put together a calculator that lets you pick one of the prizes from this year's McDonald's Monopoly . . . and calculates how many Big Macs you'd probably have to eat before you win. --I tested it out with the $500 cash prize. The odds are one in 1,204,981. In the simulation, I had to eat 442,366 Big Macs before I won . . . which cost me $1.65 MILLION, and made me gain 68,250 pounds. (--Check it out here . . .) http://eatwithaspork.com/fun/bigmac/
A MAN GETS $650,000 AFTER A STRIPPER'S STILETTO HEEL ALMOST POKES HIS EYE OUT:
In September of 2008, a man named Michael Ireland was at the Cheetah strip club in West Palm Beach, Florida. He was sitting by the bar while a stripper named Sakeena "Suki" Shageer walked around on top of it. --So obviously, Suki's feet were near the customers' heads. Then someone touched her . . . Suki spun around quickly . . . and one of her long stiletto stripper heels nailed Michael in the EYE. --The stiletto-to-the-eye ended up causing Michael permanent, chronic double vision. It also caused him dizziness, which is a problem for his career, since he works as a roofer. So he sued the club. --And last week, the club's insurance company settled . . . and will pay Michael a $650,000 settlement. --Michael's lawyer is named Lake Lytal. --He says, quote, "When this case was first filed, many people criticized it simply because it occurred at a strip club. But we feel the settlement goes to show that this was a serious case with serious injuries." (Palm Beach Post)
CHECK OUT THE TEN CARS MOST LIKELY . . . AND LEAST LIKELY . . . TO GET A TICKET:
The latest numbers are out on which cars are the most likely to get a ticket. And basically, if you drive a Mercedes . . . or, oddly enough, a Scion . . . the cops are going to be looking for you. Here's the full top 10:
#1.) Mercedes-Benz SL-Class convertible. 404% more likely to get a ticket than the average driver.
#2.) Toyota Camry coupe. 349% more likely.
#3.) Scion tC coupe. 343% more likely.
#4.) Hummer H2 SUV. 292% more likely.
#5.) Scion xB hatchback. 270% more likely.
#6.) Mercedes-Benz CLS-63 AMG sedan. 264% more likely.
#7.) Acura Integra coupe. 185% more likely.
#8.) Pontiac Grand Prix sedan. 182% more likely.
#9.) Mercedes-Benz CLK 63 AMG sedan. 179% more likely.
#10.) Volkswagen GTI hatchback. 178% more likely.
--While the list of cars most likely to get a ticket has a lot of sports cars, the cars LEAST likely to get a ticket are basically all cars you can picture a cautious 43-year-old mom driving her kids in.
#1.) Buick Rainier SUV. 77% less likely to get a ticket than the average driver.
#2.) Mazda Tribute SUV. 74% less likely.
#3.) Chevrolet C/K - 3500/2500 pickup. 74% less likely.
#4.) Kia Spectra sedan. 73% less likely.
#5.) Buick Lacrosse SUV. 68% less likely.
#6.) Saturn Aura Hybrid sedan. 63% less likely.
#7.) Oldsmobile Silhouette minivan. 63% less likely.
#8.) Chevrolet Uplander minivan. 62% less likely.
#9.) Hyundai Tucson SUV. 62% less likely.
#10.) Pontiac Vibe SUV. 61% less likely.
(Quality Planning / Forbes)
OREGON STATE TROOPERS BUSTED AN 82-YEAR-OLD WOMAN FOR DRIVING 110 MILES PER HOUR:
On Thursday, a state trooper in Gresham, Oregon pulled over Marcia Brandon when he caught her doing 110 MILES-PER-HOUR . . . in a 55 zone. Which is pretty insane . . . especially when you consider that Marcia's 82 years old. -The trooper is Mike Reel. He was in his marked patrol car at about 8:40 A.M. on Thursday when he saw a 2005 grey Pontiac Bonneville FLY past him. --He pulled over the car and found Marcia inside. She told him she didn't realize she was going TWICE the speed limit and was just trying to get to an appointment. He issued her a $1,103 speeding ticket. (Corvallis Gazette Times)
A MAN TRIES TO STEAL A CAR AND FAILS . . . SO HE HAS IT TOWED TO HIS HOUSE:
I guess this is how you steal a car when you have absolutely ZERO car stealing skills. Oh, and when you're an idiot. --Last week, 21-year-old Oneil Swaby of Irvington, New Jersey wanted to steal a blue 1998 Acura Integra from a parking lot. He failed. So he went to plan B . . . and called a tow truck pretending to be the car's owner, and had the Acura towed to his house. --The tow truck driver brought the car to Oneil's house. When the police were investigating the theft, they traced the car to the tow company . . . who gave them Oneil's address . . . where he was arrested. (NJ.com)
THE AVERAGE TEENAGER NOW SENDS 3,339 TEXT MESSAGES PER MONTH:
HERE'S why your teenager's face is glued to her cell phone every time you look at her: She has to devote her life to texting just to send an AVERAGE number of text messages. --According to the latest numbers from Nielsen, the average teenager, age 13 to 17, now sends 3,339 texts per month. That's about 110 texts every day. --Female teenagers text more than guys: The average female teenager sends 4,050 texts per month, or 133 text messages a day. The average male teenager sends 2,539, or about 84 per day. --That's about 8% more texts than teenagers were sending a year ago. -No other age group even comes CLOSE. --People 18 to 24 are next: The average 18- to 24-year-old sends 1,630 texts per month, or 54 per day. (CNN)
FACEBOOK SAVES LIVES! A NURSE SPOTTED A SIGN OF EYE CANCER IN A FACEBOOK PHOTO OF HER FRIEND'S TODDLER:
Behold, the power of Facebook. --42-year-old Nicola Sharp is a pediatric nurse in Manchester, England. She was on Facebook recently, and saw her friend . . . 37-year-old Michele Freeman . . . had posted some photos of her two-and-a-half-year-old daughter Grace. --In one of the photos, Grace's right eye had red-eye, which happens to pretty much everyone in photos. But Grace's left eye had a WHITE spot over the pupil instead. And that immediately raised a flag for Nicola. --She'd seen that before in her 20-plus years of working as a nurse. It can be a sign of a rare kind of eye cancer called retinoblastoma. So she contacted Michele and told her to get Grace checked out. --Michele did, and Nicola was right . . . Grace had two tumors in her left eye. Because Nicola spotted it and it was detected early, doctors were able to remove the tumors before the cancer spread . . . where it could've been fatal. (Daily Mail)
AFTER A D.A.R.E. CLASS, A FIFTH GRADER LEADS THE POLICE TO HIS PARENTS' REEFER STASH:
There are two parents in Matthews, North Carolina who are raising a responsible son with sound morals. Although now they're probably thinking they've done TOO good a job. --Last week, their 11-year-old fifth grader was at a D.A.R.E. class at his elementary school. That's the program where cops talk to kids at schools about the dangers of drugs. --The boy's name and his parents' names weren't released, to protect his identity. --After the assembly, the kid went up to the police officer and told him that his parents had marijuana at home. The police went to the house, and the kid led them right to his parents' stash. --His 40-year-old father and 38-year-old mother were arrested and charged with marijuana possession and possession of drug paraphernalia. --The Matthews police say the boy did the right thing. Quote, "Even if it's happening in their own home with their own parents, they understand that's a dangerous situation because of what we're teaching them." --The boy was removed from the parents' house temporarily and is currently staying with relatives. (CBS 3 - Charlotte)
A WOMAN TRACKS DOWN THE PERSON WHO STOLE HER WEDDING DRESS . . . WHEN SHE SPOTS IT FOR SALE ON CRAIGSLIST:
In this day and age, if you get something stolen, it's probably worth your time to do a quick scan of Craigslist and eBay. A lot of criminals are dumb enough to try to flip stuff there . . . and not get pennies on the dollar like at a pawn shop. --That's exactly what 25-year-old Alena Gadke of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin did after someone broke into her storage unit and stole her wedding dress. --She hopped on Craigslist and, yep, the thief had put up an ad, with photos, trying to sell the dress. --Alena contacted the thief, said she'd be interested in buying the dress, and they set up a meeting the next day in a Kmart parking lot. --Alena told the cops, and they joined her for the meeting. They ended up arresting a 16-year-old girl, whose name wasn't released. She told them she was part of a three-person theft ring, and quickly rolled over on the other two. --Those two were a 17-year-old named Coty Kimball, and a 23-year-old named Christopher Anderson . . . who confessed to several other thefts, too. (NBC 13 - Eau Claire)
STUPID CRIMINALS:
• A man who was arrested for robbery is found with checklist of targets in his pocket:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101016/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_checklist_bandit
• A cop arrests a man for robbery. His father arrested the same man for arson 28 years ago:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101015/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_father_son_arrests
• A teenager is arrested for shoplifting and has to dress up as 'Bert' from "Sesame Street" holding a sign saying what he did as punishment:
http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/local/shoplifting-teen-in-virginia-made-to-dress-up-as-sesame-street-character-as-punishment-ncx-101510
• A restaurant employee catches a thief and forces him to undress, then beats him with a pipe:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/101510dnmetbeating.2bbad1e.html
• A 63-year-old man faces 100 counts of sex charges on family members:
http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/266d9068-d7c9-11df-90f2-0017a4a78c22.html
NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) THE COMPUTER-ANIMATED VERSION OF THE BRETT FAVRE SCANDAL:
The news outlet in Taiwan that does those computer-animated versions of news stories just released one for the BRETT FAVRE scandal.
--It starts with Brett leaving Green Bay, then he takes cell phone photos down his pants, and at one point it shows him lying on the bed completely naked with a rose in his mouth, and a Jets helmet covering his crotch. --The video ends with Brett walking into a building with a sign that says "Doghouse" on it. And when he walks in, TIGER WOODS and BILL CLINTON are already there. (--Search for "Brett Favre NMA World Edition.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhBjvQ4Z6jw
#2.) A GUY LEANED OVER A RAILING TO SNAG A FOUL BALL . . . AND PUKED ON THE FIELD:
In Game One of the National League Championship Series on Saturday, a Phillies fan sitting in the front row near third base leaned over the railing to snag a foul ball . . . and puked on the field.
(--Search for "guy pukes on field during NLCS.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U94Vm5pnsH4
#3.) A BAND PERFORMED LIVE ON THE NEW YORK SUBWAY USING NOTHING BUT THEIR iPHONES:
A band in New York called ATOMIC TOM supposedly had their gear stolen recently. So they performed on a subway train using just the instrument apps on their iPhones. The song is called "Take Me Out", and the result is a LOT better than you'd think.
(--Search for "Atomic Tom Take Me Out." They all start playing together at :35.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAllFWSl998
#4.) SECURITY FOOTAGE OF THE GUY WHO CRASHED INTO THE DMV:
Last week, a guy in Bridgeville, Pennsylvania passed his driver's exam, then promptly crashed into the test center. In the security camera footage, he pulls up out front to drop off the test center employee . . . and accidentally floors it. -The car smashes through the front windows and doors of the DMV, and takes out two people sitting in the waiting room. Luckily, no one was seriously hurt.
(--Search for "Bridgeville DMV crash video.")
http://www.break.com/index/car-crashes-through-dmv-1937105
#5.) UFOS SIMILAR TO THE ONES SEEN IN NEW YORK WERE SPOTTED OVER EL PASO:
Last Tuesday, thousands of New Yorkers saw dots of light in the sky that some people thought were UFOs. It turns out they were probably just balloons from an engagement party in Mount Vernon, New York, which is just north of Manhattan. --But two days later, similar UFOs were spotted over El Paso, and this time it was at night. (--Search for "El Paso UFO news report." They compare the two videos at 1:29.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BI2aE6p5Qk
#6.) A MASH-UP OF CYPRESS HILL, THE BEATLES, HOUSE OF PAIN, AND JOAN JETT:
Someone did a decent mash-up of "Insane In The Membrane" by CYPRESS HILL, "Come Together" by THE BEATLES, "Jump Around" by HOUSE OF PAIN, and "I Love Rock 'N' Roll" by JOAN JETT.
(--Search for "Beatles Joan Jett Faroff mash-up.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZBuYbKgvQI
#7.) TWO HUGE HITS LEFT TWO FOOTBALL PLAYERS SERIOUSLY INJURED:
This weekend, two big hits left two football players seriously injured: Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver DESEAN JACKSON suffered a severe concussion when he took a hit from Falcons cornerback DUNTA ROBINSON (--pronounced Dawn-tay). --That was the hit that LOOKED worse. But a 20-year-old Rutgers player named ERIC LEGRAND was paralyzed from the neck down on Saturday when he made the tackle on a kickoff return against Army.
(--Search for "DeSean Jackson hit" and "Eric LeGrand paralyzed." In the first video, they show Jackson in slow-motion at :27. In the second video, they show LeGrand in slow-motion at 1:18.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmsAdwm7LHQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BbNe5Kv56k
THE FOUR MOST-UNHEALTHY HALLOWEEN CANDIES:
The average American eats 24 pounds of candy every year. And I'm not sure if you've heard, but . . . candy is bad for you. Just to put it in perspective: --A pack of Skittles has more sugar than two scoops of Haagen-Dazs ice cream. And there are the same number of calories in nine Twizzlers as there are in a Wendy's Double Stack Burger. --So if you want to avoid the worst-of-the-worst this Halloween, here's a list from "Men's Health" of the four worst Halloween candies, and what you should eat instead . . .
THE WORST "FUN SIZE" CANDY BAR: BUTTERFINGER. There's no faster way to swallow 100 calories and 4 grams of fat. Go with a 3 Musketeers instead. The fun size bars have 63 calories and half the fat.
THE WORST FRUITY CANDY: AIRHEADS. They're basically sugar, artificial flavors, and partially hydrogenated oil . . . which means they have trans fat. Give out Dum Dum lollipops instead. Kind of lame compared to Airheads, but they have half the calories.
THE WORST CHEWY CANDY: CARAMELS. Each one has about 40 calories and more than one gram of fat. And you never just eat one. Instead, have a "Now And Later." They have less than half the calories and almost no fat.
THE WORST NOVELTY CANDY: REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER PUMPKINS. They're like regular Peanut Butter Cups, but bigger . . . which is why they're so amazing. But they also have almost two-thirds more calories. --So stick with Reese's BITE SIZE Peanut Butter Cups. You can eat four, and it's still better for you than eating one Peanut Butter Pumpkin. (Men's Health)
ALICIA KEYS is a momma! Her baby entered our world this past Thursday. It's a boy . . . and his name is Egypt Daoud Dean. He's the first child for Alicia and her husband, producer Kasseem "Swizz Beatz" Dean. --He has three other kids.
COURTENEY COX AND DAVID ARQUETTE PLAY A BORED MARRIED COUPLE IN "SCREAM 4":
We were wondering about the dynamic of COURTENEY COX and DAVID ARQUETTE'S characters in "Scream 4", and now we know: They're a BORED MARRIED COUPLE. --Courteney says, quote, "We've been married for 10 years. I kinda gave up my job as the entertainment journalist . . . I'm bored with my life and bored with my marriage." (--David has said that the marital problems really came to a head and they stopped sleeping together about a month before filming on "Scream 4" began. So obviously, they were able to use that in their performances.) (--It'll be interesting to watch this movie when it comes out in April and try to figure out when they're acting vs. when they're just being real.)
USHER WANTS A HAREM, NOT ANOTHER WIFE:
Now that USHER is divorced, he's in no hurry to make that mistake again. He says, quote, "Seeing how marriage didn't work out for me the first time, I'm in no rush to do it again." --Instead, he's got a better idea . . . quote, "Maybe I can find a couple of women who are open-minded. Look at how Hugh Hefner does it, with a harem of women." --Whether he's being serious or not, Usher probably really COULD start a harem. Because he's still got women hitting on him all the time. --He says, quote, "(Crap), what haven't they said to me? Every so often you meet a woman who's very aggressive. 'I'll make you feel things you've never felt in your life.' 'Once you get it, you'll never let it go.' All that." --And Usher admits that he's not above falling for a woman's sexual pitch. Asked if those lines have ever worked on him, he says, quote, "A couple of times." --Usher also compares his divorce last year from his wife Tameka to the LINDSAY LOHAN situation . . . quote, "People love a train wreck. Lindsay Lohan . . . everybody is eager to see how that comes out. This is somewhat the same thing."
NOW THAT SHE'S 30, KIM KARDASHIAN IS TOO OLD TO POSE NUDE AGAIN:
Anyone who's anticipating KIM KARDASHIAN'S next nude photo shoot may have a long time to wait. Kim turns 30 this coming Thursday, and that makes her TOO OLD to take off her clothes for the camera anymore. --Sure, her opinion could change, but for the moment she says, quote, "I'm too old for that now. I wanted to get it all out of my system before I turned 30." --If she holds onto that mindset, then her final nudes will be the ones she did for "W" magazine, where she's covered in silver paint. And at least she went out with a bang. --She says, quote, "I'm really honored they chose me for the art issue. It turned out beautifully, and I love it." --Kim doesn't really know how to feel about turning 30 . . . but it sounds like she has a decent handle on it. She says, quote, "I have mixed feelings. Sometimes I'm like, 'Oh my god, I'm turning 30,' and I'm freaking out. --"Like, it sounds so old. And then the other half of me is like, I feel so accomplished and it's really no different than 29."
DANNY MCBRIDE IS MARRIED:
DANNY MCBRIDE . . . the comedic GENIUS who plays Kenny Powers on HBO's "Eastbound and Down" . . . got married on Friday. His new wife is Gia Ruiz, who works in the art department on his show.
BARBARA BILLINGSLEY . . . A.K.A. JUNE CLEAVER FROM "LEAVE IT TO BEAVER" . . . HAS PASSED AWAY:
BARBARA BILLINGSLEY died on Saturday after a long illness. She was 94. Barbara played Beaver's mom, June Cleaver, on the classic sitcom "Leave It To Beaver". --Sure, FLORENCE HENDERSON gets all the love these days as everybody's favorite TV mom. But June Cleaver set the standard long before Carol Brady came along. --"Beaver" ran from 1957 to 1963. "The Brady Bunch" premiered in 1969. (--There was also a follow-up series called "The New Leave It To Beaver". It ran from 1984 to 1989 . . . but it's probably best not to talk about it.) (???) --For those few who don't know, "Leave It To Beaver" was the epitome of the whole 1950s American dream, life-is-great, white-picket-fence family sitcom. -As the mom in that scenario, June was a very beloved character. --But in retrospect, a lot of people would argue that she and other TV moms of that time were BAD examples for women, because they were basically just repressed domestic servants who never left the house and lived to bring their TV husbands a pipe and slippers when they got home from work.
--JERRY MATHERS . . . who played young Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver . . . had this to say . . . quote, "Barbara was a patient advisor and teacher. She helped me along this challenging journey through life by showing me the importance of manners, and respect for others. --"She will be missed by all of her family, friends, fans and most especially by me."
--TONY DOW . . . who played Beaver's older brother Wally . . . said, quote, "She was as happy as a lark being recognized as America's mom.
-"She had a terrific life and had a wonderful impact on everybody she knew, and even people she didn't know." --Sure, Barbara will always be associated with June Cleaver . . . but perhaps her BEST work was in the 1980 comedy classic "Airplane". --She's the elderly white woman who just happens to SPEAK JIVE . . . and she acts as a TRANSLATOR in a conversation between a stewardess and two black passengers.
(--Here's that scene . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymMBEwtRZOg
(--And here's an interview with Barbara discussing that role years later . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUw2fIa0dSI
--Barbara was also the voice of the nanny on the animated series "Muppet Babies" . . . which ran from 1984 to 1991. --Barbara was married three times. Her first marriage ended in divorce, but her other two husbands died on her. She's survived by two sons. --She was also related by marriage to PETER BILLINGSLEY . . . who played Ralphie in "A Christmas Story".
"MANIMAL" IS DEAD:
SIMON MACCORKINDALE . . . who played the title character in the short-lived NBC series "Manimal" . . . died last Thursday after a battle with bowel cancer. He was 58. --In "Manimal", MacCorkindale played Dr. Jonathan Chase . . . a guy who had the power to change himself into any animal he wanted to. And, of course, he used that power to fight crime. --Most of the time he only changed into a hawk or a black panther. But in some episodes he would change into a third animal . . . such as a snake, a horse or a dolphin. The show premiered in 1983 and lasted a whopping EIGHT episodes. --MacCorkindale also played sleazy lawyer Greg Reardon on the '80s primetime soap "Falcon Crest", and he got eaten alive in "Jaws 3D". --He's survived by his second wife, actress SUSAN GEORGE. (--Here's the "Manimal" intro. It's relatively low quality, but you can still tell why the show didn't last all that long . . . but also why it has a pretty rabid cult following to this day . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQZxRH6uoiY
DID JUSTIN BIEBER PUNCH A 12-YEAR-OLD KID WHILE PLAYING LASER TAG? PROBABLY NOT:
The nation of Canada was ROCKED this weekend by news that JUSTIN BIEBER had allegedly punched a 12-year-old kid in the face during a game of laser tag. (???) The thing is, it's probably not true. -The alleged incident occurred Friday evening at the Planet Lazer Entertainment Center in Richmond, British Columbia. --The 12-year-old complained to staff that Justin popped him . . . and the kid's dad later reported it to the MOUNTIES. (--That's the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. And yes, they do exist. They didn't just make them up for cartoons.) --The kid wasn't really hurt, though, and it sounds like he wasn't even hit. It's pretty likely that nothing is going to come of this. --Staffers at Planet Lazer have told the press that Justin was being, quote, "followed around and heavily targeted during the game." --According to one version of the events, Justin had been cornered by several kids, and he accidentally hit the boy while trying to push his way past them. --Another version incorporates some HOMOPHOBIA into the story . . . not to mention that F-word that rhymes with the last name of my very favorite comedian, BOB SAGET. --One source says that this particular kid was on Justin's tail throughout the game. And at one point, he got him cornered and wouldn't stop shooting at him. --Justin said, quote, "That's enough" . . . and the 12-year-old responded, quote, "What are you gonna do about it, (F-word)?" --Justin replied, quote, "Excuse me?" . . . and the kid said, quote, "You're a (F-word)." The kid then put his hand out toward Justin . . . and Justin pushed it away and walked off. --In every version of the story, it seems clear that Justin did NOT punch the kid. (--Every version except that of the 12-year-old and his father, that is.) --Police reportedly DID look into this . . . but from what anyone can gather, it sounds like they know Justin didn't do anything wrong.
IT'S ON!!! BETWEEN CHELSEA HANDLER AND NICK CANNON:
CHELSEA HANDLER made a crack about NICK CANNON'S comedic stylings on Twitter . . . and now IT'S ON!!! --Chelsea started the feud on Thursday when she Tweeted, quote, "I just heard Nick Cannon is starting a comedy tour. Who's going to do the comedy?" --Cannon replied, quote, "Wow @chelseahandler I actually used to have respect for you as a comic. But for one artist to diss another in the same art form. #Tasteless. --"Soon as I get off stage tonight, I'm going in on @chelseahandler I'm about to be relentless! OFF WITH HER HEAD but right now I got to focus." --Chelsea then posted a picture of grape soda, and said, quote, "@nickcannon pls drink this before you tweet me again." --True to his word, Nick countered with a SERIES of cracks on Chelsea. Here are his Tweets . . . --"Funny how all of @chelseahandler fans are coming at me like I did something to her. I don't even know this broad! She on my (crap)! But since it's all in fun and supposedly just comedy, Let's get to the mutha(effin') JOKES!!" --"Everyone knows @Chelseahandler had sex with the head of E! for her show. So when it gets canceled does he get residual (kitty) for the reruns?" --"@Chelseahandler Looks like she got hit in the face with a hot bag of nickels!" --"Just talked to @50Cent. He said he made @chelseahandler get G-Unit tattooed on her balls!" --"@50Cent wasn't hitting @chelseahandler they was just sharing testosterone tips." --"@Chelseahandler @Howardstern @Eminem Why do all these angry ugly whitetrash folks want beef with me? What I do? I'm a harmless corny dude!" --"@chelseahandler is like the new @joanrivers just without the funny and more plastic surgery." --Then, after all that, he added this . . . quote, "Just jokes people, LOL! Well I got to be at my next job in a few hours so I will continue the jokes on my morning show." (--That's pretty much how they left it. But there could be more. If you'd like to follow Chelsea and Nick's respective Twitter feeds for potential updates, here are the links . . .)
http://twitter.com/#!/NickCannon/
http://twitter.com/#!/chelseahandler
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS AND HIS PARTNER ARE DADS:
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS and his partner, David Burtka, are dads. Their surrogate gave birth to twins . . . a boy and a girl . . . last Tuesday. They named them Gideon Scott and Harper Grace. --Neil Tweeted, quote, "Babies!! On 10/12, Gideon Scott and Harper Grace entered the Burtka-Harris fold. All of us are happy, healthy, tired and a little pukey."
CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO OF SHIA LABEOUF THROWING COFFEE AT A PAPARAZZI SCUMBAG:
SHIA LABEOUF is either a HERO or a COWARD for his actions the other day in Washington, D.C. --Shia got fed up with some paparazzi scumbag who was filming him at a cafe . . . so he ran up to the guy and threw his coffee at him. But then he KEPT ON RUNNING.
(--Check out the video here . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-IAO3gfRfo
"JACKASS 3-D" MADE TWICE AS MUCH AS BRUCE WILLIS:
"Jackass 3-D" had the biggest October opening weekend EVER. It earned $50 million in its first three days of release. (--The previous record was set in 2003 by "Scary Movie 3", which made $48.1 million.) --Meanwhile, the BRUCE WILLIS action flick "Red" "only" made $22.5 million, less than half of what "Jackass" earned. Here are the Top 10 movies . . .
1.) (NEW) "Jackass 3-D", $50 million
2.) (NEW) "Red", $22.5 million
3.) "The Social Network", $11 million (--Up to $63.1 million in its 3rd week.)
"THE HOBBIT" HAS BEEN GIVEN THE GREEN LIGHT . . . WITH PETER JACKSON DIRECTING:
The two "Hobbit" movies have been given the green light . . . and PETER JACKSON will indeed direct. --Jackson directed the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy . . . and he was only supposed to be on board as a producer this time. But after GUILLERMO DEL TORO backed out due to numerous production delays, Peter jumped back in. --He issued a statement saying, quote, "Exploring Tolkien's Middle-earth goes way beyond a normal film-making experience. --"It's an all-immersive journey into a very special place of imagination, beauty and drama. We're looking forward to re-entering this wondrous world with Gandalf and Bilbo . . . and our friends at New Line Cinema, Warner Brothers and MGM." --SIR IAN MCKELLEN is coming back as Gandalf. But there's no word yet who'll play Bilbo Baggins. --SIR IAN HOLM played Bilbo in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, but he's 79 years old. The events of "The Hobbit" take place 60 years earlier . . . so obviously they'll need a much younger actor --There's no word yet on any other casting . . . although it's more than likely that ANDY SERKIS will play Gollum again.
THE "SCREAM AWARDS' WERE TAPED SATURDAY NIGHT:
Spike TV's "2010 Scream Awards" taped Saturday night. Here's a quick roundup . . .
--Best Horror Movie went to "Zombieland" . . . and BILL MURRAY accepted the award in a Ghostbusters uniform. (--Was he commenting on the long-rumored "Ghostbusters 3"? Probably not.)
--SIGOURNEY WEAVER won the award for Best Heroine.
--Not surprisingly, "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" picked up some hardware, including Ultimate Scream and Best Fantasy Movie.
--ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART won Best Actor and Actress in a Fantasy Movie, respectively. And XAVIER SAMUEL, who played Riley in "Eclipse", won Breakout Male Performance.
--MICKEY ROURKE won Best Villain for "Iron Man 2" . . . while ALEXANDER SKARSGARD won Best Horror Actor for "True Blood".
--And "The Human Centipede" won an award for Most Memorable Mutilation. (???)
--"Lost" cast members also got together for a final farewell . . . and MICHAEL J. FOX and CHRISTOPHER LLOYD had a mini-"Back to the Future" reunion.
--Footage from the upcoming "Scream 4" was also presented by cast members David Arquette, Neve Campbell, Emma Roberts and director Wes Craven. Interestingly enough, Courteney Cox was NOT in attendance. (--The "Scream Awards" air tomorrow night at 9:00 P.M. on Spike TV.)
CHECK OUT THE TRAILER FOR NICOLAS CAGE'S NEW MOVIE, "DRIVE ANGRY":
In his new movie "Drive Angry", NICOLAS CAGE plays a dead man who escapes from Hell in order to go after a cult that killed his daughter and kidnapped her baby. --The trailer hit the web this weekend, and it looks like this might be a pretty kick-ass action flick. It hits theaters in February. (--Here's the trailer . . .) http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810152301/video/22444680
IS THIS THE CAST OF THE NEXT "CELEBRITY APPRENTICE"?
A cast list for "Celebrity Apprentice" has leaked online. It hasn't been confirmed yet, but several websites are running with it as if it's official. --According to "Las Vegas Weekly", DONALD TRUMP hosted a cocktail party in Vegas this weekend so the cast could get to know each other before filming begins. And that's how these names got out. --If this list IS real, apparently Trump is going to make a run at picking up ratings by tapping into some SERIOUS crazy. For real . . . a lot of the "celebrities" are at least mostly insane.
--Here's the list:
--Gary Busey, NeNe Leakes . . . (--arguably the most insane cast member of "Real Housewives of Atlanta") . . . country singer John Rich, of Big & Rich . . .
--La Toya Jackson . . . singer and Psychic Friend Dionne Warwick, Meat Loaf, crunk rapper Lil Jon, steroid-using former baseball stud (turned whistleblower) Jose Canseco, supermodel Niki Taylor and Playboy Playmate Hope Dworaczyk . . . --Star Jones, Lisa Rinna, deaf actress Marlee Matlin, Sugar Ray singer Mark McGrath, former "Partridge Family" star David Cassidy . . . --And Richard Hatch, the naked gay guy who won a million bucks on the first season of "Survivor" . . . and then went to prison for not paying taxes on it. He got out last October. --"Celebrity Apprentice" is will premiere early next year.
BARBARA WALTERS FINDS THE "JERSEY SHORE" CAST "FASCINATING":
The "Jersey Shore" cast will make BARBARA WALTERS' annual "10 Most Fascinating People" list . . . or at least "Life & Style" magazine says they will. --Apparently, Barbara is planning on lumping them together as one entity. (--They shouldn't mind . . . they pretty much lump themselves together into one entity.) --There's no word on who else may be on the list. Barbara's "10 Most Fascinating People of 2010" special will air on ABC on December 9th.
NIGEL LYTHGOE SAYS THERE WILL BE A WIDER VARIETY ON "AMERICAN IDOL" THIS YEAR . . . BECAUSE SIMON COWELL IS GONE:
"American Idol" executive producer NIGEL LYTHGOE says there will be a wider variety of singers in the competition this year . . . because SIMON COWELL won't be there to veto the styles he doesn't like. --Nigel says, quote, "We've [had] some incredible country voices. In truth, Simon would have gotten rid of them straight-away because he wasn't a country fan. --"This season we have a 16-year-old kid with an incredible voice and a jazz kid who does this fabulous scat-singing. Again, we wouldn't have had him on the show because Simon would have said, 'He's not an American Idol! Get rid of him!' --"What you are definitely going to get this season is an American voice . . . and American music." (--I don't think that Nigel and Simon always saw eye-to-eye, particularly since Nigel left "Idol" back in 2008. He returned this summer.)
MTV HOST T.J. LAVIN WAS SERIOUSLY INJURED IN A BIKE CRASH:
MTV host and BMX star T.J. LAVIN was seriously hurt after crashing his bike at an event last Thursday. Lavin has been the host of MTV's "Real World / Road Rules Challenge" for the past five years. He's currently in critical-but-stable condition. --He was placed in a medically-induced coma to relieve swelling on his brain.
YET ANOTHER TWITTER FEED IS BEING DEVELOPED INTO A TV SHOW:
CBS has just announced its THIRD show to be based on a Twitter feed. (--If you were waiting for the first post-reality trend . . . this might be it.) --This show will be based on a feed called Dear Girls Above Me . . . in which a fictional guy comments on the things he overhears from the ditzy party girls who live in the condo above his. Here are a few samples of the things they've said, followed by his comments: --"He said he was Spanish but not a Mexican. What the hell, that doesn't even make sense!" It does to the entire country of Spain. --"Aww, I felt so bad, this homeless-looking bearded guy on Fairfax actually thought it was New Years." Happy Rosh Hashanah ladies -"I want a guy who's gonna meet me half way, like the Black Eyed Peas song." I want a girl who doesn't quote the Black Eyed Peas. -"You can't go on birth control, your (breasts) will get bigger than mine! We had a plan!" Does this plan involve small boobs and a baby? -We don't have any info on the actual show yet. (--CBS' other Twitter-based shows are: "[Bleep] My Dad Says" and "Shh, Don't Tell Steve", which hasn't hit TV yet.)
MONDAY TV REMINDERS: (--Check your local listings.)
--"Monday Night Football" . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The Jacksonville Jaguars host the Tennessee Titans in Florida.)
--"Dancing with the Stars" [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"House" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--"Dancing with the Stars" minx Jennifer Grey plays a mother whose infant suffers from liver failure and breathing problems.)
--"How I Met Your Mother" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on CBS. (--"House" minx Jennifer Morrison joins the cast as Ted's newest love interest.)
--"Rock of Love with Bret Michaels" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1. (--Riki Rachtman hosts this update on the former cast members.)
--"Operation Repo" [7th Season Finale] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on TruTV.
--"Bret Michaels: Life As I Know It" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on VH1. (--Bret Michaels shows how difficult it can be balancing fatherhood with being a rock star as he begins his first road tour since his brain hemorrhage.)
--"Chase" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Eddie Cibrian guest stars as a bounty hunter who catches the eye of U.S. Marshall Annie.)
--"The Arrangement" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on Logo. (--Antonio Sabato Jr. and a relatively unknown actress named Nicole Sherwin are guest judges.)
KEITH RICHARDS THINKS MICK JAGGER IS ANNOYING . . . AND POORLY ENDOWED, GENITALLY-SPEAKING:
KEITH RICHARDS' new autobiography, "Life", comes out in two weeks . . . and it sounds like he isn't shying away from stirring the pot a little. --According to a brief excerpt published in a British newspaper, Keith talks about becoming annoyed with MICK JAGGER . . . and he also takes a shot at the size of Mick's JUNK. --Keith says that in the early '80s Mick, quote, "started to become unbearable." He also adds, quote, "I used to love Mick, but I haven't been to his dressing room in 20 years. Sometimes I think, 'I miss my friend'. I wonder, 'Where did he go?' […] --"Because I love the man dearly, I'm still his mate. But he makes it very difficult to be his friend." --And while discussing Mick's relationship with MARIANNE FAITHFULL in the late '60s, Keith says, quote, "[She] had no fun with [Mick's] tiny todger. I know he's got an enormous pair of balls . . . but it doesn't quite fill the gap." --In a recent interview, Keith said Mick HAS read the book . . . and he added, quote, "I think it opened his eyes, actually. We've had our beefs but, hey, who doesn't? You try and keep something together for 50 years."
T.I. WAS ORDERED BACK TO PRISON FOR 11 MONTHS . . . AFTER A JUDGE REVOKED HIS PROBATION:
T.I. has had an eventful week. Last Wednesday, he talked an Atlanta man out of jumping from a 22-story office building . . . and on Friday, a federal judge revoked his probation and sent him back to prison for 11 months. --The sentence comes after T.I. and his wife, Tameka "Tiny" Cottle, were busted for drug possession in Los Angeles. T.I. was charged with possessing ecstasy, testing positive for opiates and associating with a convicted felon. (--Some reports say cops also found marijuana. A strong weed odor is what originally caused the officers to do a search, but authorities previously said that other than the ecstasy, no other drugs were found.) --T.I. was on probation for a 2009 conviction on felony weapons charges. (--He was sentenced to 366 days, but only served seven months behind bars. He spent another three months at a halfway house, and was released this past March.) --T.I. begged the judge for leniency, and admitted that he, quote, "screwed up." He also copped to having a drug problem . . . and asked the judge to send him to rehab, not prison. --T.I. said, quote, "I want drugs out of my life. If I can get the treatment and counseling I need . . . I can beat this. I need help. For me, my mother, my kids, I need the court to give me mercy." --But the prosecution told the judge that T.I.'s slip-up undermined the more than 1,000 community service hours he's spent speaking to kids across the country. --They argued, quote, "While he was telling kids to obey the law, he was breaking it. There has to be a significant consequence for undermining the [plea] agreement. He was supposed to be living what he was preaching." --The prosecution was seeking a TWO-year sentence . . . and while T.I. wanted to stay out of prison, the defense reportedly argued for five to eight months. --It's unclear exactly when T.I. will be back in the clink. The judge allowed him two weeks to turn himself in . . . and he hasn't yet. (--At least as of late last night.) --Tiny posted a Twitter message saying, quote, "[Please] send prayers up [for] my husband [and] our family! [And thanks to] all that have been. I [know whatever] happens is God's will :)" (--Yes, she ended it with a "smile" emoticon.) (???)
KANYE WEST SAYS WAL-MART BANNED HIS ALBUM COVER:
KANYE WEST went on Twitter last night to announce that Wal-Mart was NOT feelin' the cover art for his upcoming album, "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy". --He said, quote, "Yoooo they banned my album cover!!!!! Banned in the USA!!! They don't want me chilling on the couch with my phoenix!" --Then he linked to the cover. (--You can check it out below. NOTE: It shows two naked humanlike monsters . . . who are in a somewhat sexual position.) http://twitpic.com/2ykxjk
--Kanye continued, quote, "In the '70s album covers had actual nudity. It's so funny that people forget that . . . everything has been so commercialized now. --"So Nirvana can have a naked human being on [their] cover but I can't have a PAINTING of a monster with no arms and a polka dot tail and wings? --"In all honesty . . . I really don't be thinking about Wal-Mart when I make my music or album covers. I wanna sell albums but not at the expense of my true creativity." --While he's kind of talking tough here, more than likely Wal-mart will sell the album with an ALTERNATE cover. Because I doubt he's going to give up Wal-Mart sales for the sake of that "creativity". (--"My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy" drops November 22nd.)
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
USE THIS WEBSITE TO CALCULATE HOW MANY BIG MACS YOU'D HAVE TO EAT TO WIN THE PRIZES IN MCDONALD'S MONOPOLY:
McDonald's is running its Monopoly game promotion again. And people love it . . . even though it's basically impossible to win anything other than a small fry. --A website called Eat With a Spork put together a calculator that lets you pick one of the prizes from this year's McDonald's Monopoly . . . and calculates how many Big Macs you'd probably have to eat before you win. --I tested it out with the $500 cash prize. The odds are one in 1,204,981. In the simulation, I had to eat 442,366 Big Macs before I won . . . which cost me $1.65 MILLION, and made me gain 68,250 pounds. (--Check it out here . . .) http://eatwithaspork.com/fun/bigmac/
A MAN GETS $650,000 AFTER A STRIPPER'S STILETTO HEEL ALMOST POKES HIS EYE OUT:
In September of 2008, a man named Michael Ireland was at the Cheetah strip club in West Palm Beach, Florida. He was sitting by the bar while a stripper named Sakeena "Suki" Shageer walked around on top of it. --So obviously, Suki's feet were near the customers' heads. Then someone touched her . . . Suki spun around quickly . . . and one of her long stiletto stripper heels nailed Michael in the EYE. --The stiletto-to-the-eye ended up causing Michael permanent, chronic double vision. It also caused him dizziness, which is a problem for his career, since he works as a roofer. So he sued the club. --And last week, the club's insurance company settled . . . and will pay Michael a $650,000 settlement. --Michael's lawyer is named Lake Lytal. --He says, quote, "When this case was first filed, many people criticized it simply because it occurred at a strip club. But we feel the settlement goes to show that this was a serious case with serious injuries." (Palm Beach Post)
CHECK OUT THE TEN CARS MOST LIKELY . . . AND LEAST LIKELY . . . TO GET A TICKET:
The latest numbers are out on which cars are the most likely to get a ticket. And basically, if you drive a Mercedes . . . or, oddly enough, a Scion . . . the cops are going to be looking for you. Here's the full top 10:
#1.) Mercedes-Benz SL-Class convertible. 404% more likely to get a ticket than the average driver.
#2.) Toyota Camry coupe. 349% more likely.
#3.) Scion tC coupe. 343% more likely.
#4.) Hummer H2 SUV. 292% more likely.
#5.) Scion xB hatchback. 270% more likely.
#6.) Mercedes-Benz CLS-63 AMG sedan. 264% more likely.
#7.) Acura Integra coupe. 185% more likely.
#8.) Pontiac Grand Prix sedan. 182% more likely.
#9.) Mercedes-Benz CLK 63 AMG sedan. 179% more likely.
#10.) Volkswagen GTI hatchback. 178% more likely.
--While the list of cars most likely to get a ticket has a lot of sports cars, the cars LEAST likely to get a ticket are basically all cars you can picture a cautious 43-year-old mom driving her kids in.
#1.) Buick Rainier SUV. 77% less likely to get a ticket than the average driver.
#2.) Mazda Tribute SUV. 74% less likely.
#3.) Chevrolet C/K - 3500/2500 pickup. 74% less likely.
#4.) Kia Spectra sedan. 73% less likely.
#5.) Buick Lacrosse SUV. 68% less likely.
#6.) Saturn Aura Hybrid sedan. 63% less likely.
#7.) Oldsmobile Silhouette minivan. 63% less likely.
#8.) Chevrolet Uplander minivan. 62% less likely.
#9.) Hyundai Tucson SUV. 62% less likely.
#10.) Pontiac Vibe SUV. 61% less likely.
(Quality Planning / Forbes)
OREGON STATE TROOPERS BUSTED AN 82-YEAR-OLD WOMAN FOR DRIVING 110 MILES PER HOUR:
On Thursday, a state trooper in Gresham, Oregon pulled over Marcia Brandon when he caught her doing 110 MILES-PER-HOUR . . . in a 55 zone. Which is pretty insane . . . especially when you consider that Marcia's 82 years old. -The trooper is Mike Reel. He was in his marked patrol car at about 8:40 A.M. on Thursday when he saw a 2005 grey Pontiac Bonneville FLY past him. --He pulled over the car and found Marcia inside. She told him she didn't realize she was going TWICE the speed limit and was just trying to get to an appointment. He issued her a $1,103 speeding ticket. (Corvallis Gazette Times)
A MAN TRIES TO STEAL A CAR AND FAILS . . . SO HE HAS IT TOWED TO HIS HOUSE:
I guess this is how you steal a car when you have absolutely ZERO car stealing skills. Oh, and when you're an idiot. --Last week, 21-year-old Oneil Swaby of Irvington, New Jersey wanted to steal a blue 1998 Acura Integra from a parking lot. He failed. So he went to plan B . . . and called a tow truck pretending to be the car's owner, and had the Acura towed to his house. --The tow truck driver brought the car to Oneil's house. When the police were investigating the theft, they traced the car to the tow company . . . who gave them Oneil's address . . . where he was arrested. (NJ.com)
THE AVERAGE TEENAGER NOW SENDS 3,339 TEXT MESSAGES PER MONTH:
HERE'S why your teenager's face is glued to her cell phone every time you look at her: She has to devote her life to texting just to send an AVERAGE number of text messages. --According to the latest numbers from Nielsen, the average teenager, age 13 to 17, now sends 3,339 texts per month. That's about 110 texts every day. --Female teenagers text more than guys: The average female teenager sends 4,050 texts per month, or 133 text messages a day. The average male teenager sends 2,539, or about 84 per day. --That's about 8% more texts than teenagers were sending a year ago. -No other age group even comes CLOSE. --People 18 to 24 are next: The average 18- to 24-year-old sends 1,630 texts per month, or 54 per day. (CNN)
FACEBOOK SAVES LIVES! A NURSE SPOTTED A SIGN OF EYE CANCER IN A FACEBOOK PHOTO OF HER FRIEND'S TODDLER:
Behold, the power of Facebook. --42-year-old Nicola Sharp is a pediatric nurse in Manchester, England. She was on Facebook recently, and saw her friend . . . 37-year-old Michele Freeman . . . had posted some photos of her two-and-a-half-year-old daughter Grace. --In one of the photos, Grace's right eye had red-eye, which happens to pretty much everyone in photos. But Grace's left eye had a WHITE spot over the pupil instead. And that immediately raised a flag for Nicola. --She'd seen that before in her 20-plus years of working as a nurse. It can be a sign of a rare kind of eye cancer called retinoblastoma. So she contacted Michele and told her to get Grace checked out. --Michele did, and Nicola was right . . . Grace had two tumors in her left eye. Because Nicola spotted it and it was detected early, doctors were able to remove the tumors before the cancer spread . . . where it could've been fatal. (Daily Mail)
AFTER A D.A.R.E. CLASS, A FIFTH GRADER LEADS THE POLICE TO HIS PARENTS' REEFER STASH:
There are two parents in Matthews, North Carolina who are raising a responsible son with sound morals. Although now they're probably thinking they've done TOO good a job. --Last week, their 11-year-old fifth grader was at a D.A.R.E. class at his elementary school. That's the program where cops talk to kids at schools about the dangers of drugs. --The boy's name and his parents' names weren't released, to protect his identity. --After the assembly, the kid went up to the police officer and told him that his parents had marijuana at home. The police went to the house, and the kid led them right to his parents' stash. --His 40-year-old father and 38-year-old mother were arrested and charged with marijuana possession and possession of drug paraphernalia. --The Matthews police say the boy did the right thing. Quote, "Even if it's happening in their own home with their own parents, they understand that's a dangerous situation because of what we're teaching them." --The boy was removed from the parents' house temporarily and is currently staying with relatives. (CBS 3 - Charlotte)
A WOMAN TRACKS DOWN THE PERSON WHO STOLE HER WEDDING DRESS . . . WHEN SHE SPOTS IT FOR SALE ON CRAIGSLIST:
In this day and age, if you get something stolen, it's probably worth your time to do a quick scan of Craigslist and eBay. A lot of criminals are dumb enough to try to flip stuff there . . . and not get pennies on the dollar like at a pawn shop. --That's exactly what 25-year-old Alena Gadke of Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin did after someone broke into her storage unit and stole her wedding dress. --She hopped on Craigslist and, yep, the thief had put up an ad, with photos, trying to sell the dress. --Alena contacted the thief, said she'd be interested in buying the dress, and they set up a meeting the next day in a Kmart parking lot. --Alena told the cops, and they joined her for the meeting. They ended up arresting a 16-year-old girl, whose name wasn't released. She told them she was part of a three-person theft ring, and quickly rolled over on the other two. --Those two were a 17-year-old named Coty Kimball, and a 23-year-old named Christopher Anderson . . . who confessed to several other thefts, too. (NBC 13 - Eau Claire)
STUPID CRIMINALS:
• A man who was arrested for robbery is found with checklist of targets in his pocket:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101016/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_checklist_bandit
• A cop arrests a man for robbery. His father arrested the same man for arson 28 years ago:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101015/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_father_son_arrests
• A teenager is arrested for shoplifting and has to dress up as 'Bert' from "Sesame Street" holding a sign saying what he did as punishment:
http://www.myfoxdc.com/dpp/news/local/shoplifting-teen-in-virginia-made-to-dress-up-as-sesame-street-character-as-punishment-ncx-101510
• A restaurant employee catches a thief and forces him to undress, then beats him with a pipe:
http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/101510dnmetbeating.2bbad1e.html
• A 63-year-old man faces 100 counts of sex charges on family members:
http://www.stltoday.com/news/local/crime-and-courts/266d9068-d7c9-11df-90f2-0017a4a78c22.html
NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) THE COMPUTER-ANIMATED VERSION OF THE BRETT FAVRE SCANDAL:
The news outlet in Taiwan that does those computer-animated versions of news stories just released one for the BRETT FAVRE scandal.
--It starts with Brett leaving Green Bay, then he takes cell phone photos down his pants, and at one point it shows him lying on the bed completely naked with a rose in his mouth, and a Jets helmet covering his crotch. --The video ends with Brett walking into a building with a sign that says "Doghouse" on it. And when he walks in, TIGER WOODS and BILL CLINTON are already there. (--Search for "Brett Favre NMA World Edition.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhBjvQ4Z6jw
#2.) A GUY LEANED OVER A RAILING TO SNAG A FOUL BALL . . . AND PUKED ON THE FIELD:
In Game One of the National League Championship Series on Saturday, a Phillies fan sitting in the front row near third base leaned over the railing to snag a foul ball . . . and puked on the field.
(--Search for "guy pukes on field during NLCS.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U94Vm5pnsH4
#3.) A BAND PERFORMED LIVE ON THE NEW YORK SUBWAY USING NOTHING BUT THEIR iPHONES:
A band in New York called ATOMIC TOM supposedly had their gear stolen recently. So they performed on a subway train using just the instrument apps on their iPhones. The song is called "Take Me Out", and the result is a LOT better than you'd think.
(--Search for "Atomic Tom Take Me Out." They all start playing together at :35.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAllFWSl998
#4.) SECURITY FOOTAGE OF THE GUY WHO CRASHED INTO THE DMV:
Last week, a guy in Bridgeville, Pennsylvania passed his driver's exam, then promptly crashed into the test center. In the security camera footage, he pulls up out front to drop off the test center employee . . . and accidentally floors it. -The car smashes through the front windows and doors of the DMV, and takes out two people sitting in the waiting room. Luckily, no one was seriously hurt.
(--Search for "Bridgeville DMV crash video.")
http://www.break.com/index/car-crashes-through-dmv-1937105
#5.) UFOS SIMILAR TO THE ONES SEEN IN NEW YORK WERE SPOTTED OVER EL PASO:
Last Tuesday, thousands of New Yorkers saw dots of light in the sky that some people thought were UFOs. It turns out they were probably just balloons from an engagement party in Mount Vernon, New York, which is just north of Manhattan. --But two days later, similar UFOs were spotted over El Paso, and this time it was at night. (--Search for "El Paso UFO news report." They compare the two videos at 1:29.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0BI2aE6p5Qk
#6.) A MASH-UP OF CYPRESS HILL, THE BEATLES, HOUSE OF PAIN, AND JOAN JETT:
Someone did a decent mash-up of "Insane In The Membrane" by CYPRESS HILL, "Come Together" by THE BEATLES, "Jump Around" by HOUSE OF PAIN, and "I Love Rock 'N' Roll" by JOAN JETT.
(--Search for "Beatles Joan Jett Faroff mash-up.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZBuYbKgvQI
#7.) TWO HUGE HITS LEFT TWO FOOTBALL PLAYERS SERIOUSLY INJURED:
This weekend, two big hits left two football players seriously injured: Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver DESEAN JACKSON suffered a severe concussion when he took a hit from Falcons cornerback DUNTA ROBINSON (--pronounced Dawn-tay). --That was the hit that LOOKED worse. But a 20-year-old Rutgers player named ERIC LEGRAND was paralyzed from the neck down on Saturday when he made the tackle on a kickoff return against Army.
(--Search for "DeSean Jackson hit" and "Eric LeGrand paralyzed." In the first video, they show Jackson in slow-motion at :27. In the second video, they show LeGrand in slow-motion at 1:18.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmsAdwm7LHQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-BbNe5Kv56k
THE FOUR MOST-UNHEALTHY HALLOWEEN CANDIES:
The average American eats 24 pounds of candy every year. And I'm not sure if you've heard, but . . . candy is bad for you. Just to put it in perspective: --A pack of Skittles has more sugar than two scoops of Haagen-Dazs ice cream. And there are the same number of calories in nine Twizzlers as there are in a Wendy's Double Stack Burger. --So if you want to avoid the worst-of-the-worst this Halloween, here's a list from "Men's Health" of the four worst Halloween candies, and what you should eat instead . . .
THE WORST "FUN SIZE" CANDY BAR: BUTTERFINGER. There's no faster way to swallow 100 calories and 4 grams of fat. Go with a 3 Musketeers instead. The fun size bars have 63 calories and half the fat.
THE WORST FRUITY CANDY: AIRHEADS. They're basically sugar, artificial flavors, and partially hydrogenated oil . . . which means they have trans fat. Give out Dum Dum lollipops instead. Kind of lame compared to Airheads, but they have half the calories.
THE WORST CHEWY CANDY: CARAMELS. Each one has about 40 calories and more than one gram of fat. And you never just eat one. Instead, have a "Now And Later." They have less than half the calories and almost no fat.
THE WORST NOVELTY CANDY: REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER PUMPKINS. They're like regular Peanut Butter Cups, but bigger . . . which is why they're so amazing. But they also have almost two-thirds more calories. --So stick with Reese's BITE SIZE Peanut Butter Cups. You can eat four, and it's still better for you than eating one Peanut Butter Pumpkin. (Men's Health)
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