Friday, January 6, 2012


Some Woman Posted a Song on YouTube Asking Jason Segel Out for a Drink:

The trend of ambushing celebrities by asking them out on YouTube is NOT over. A wannabe singer-songwriter named Chelsea Gill actually wrote and performed a song asking "Muppets" superstar JASON SEGEL out for a drink. --And it's actually not annoying, because the song is really good. Here are some sample lyrics: --"Now I know what you're thinking, another crazy girl with heightened feelings / But I swear I'm sane, tested and disease free." --"Oh, Jason Segel, It's important that you know I'm legal / So any crazy [crap] you wanna do, just know I can do it too." --"Have a drink with me, Oh Mr. Segel can't you see / I'm trying so hard to impress, you're so [effing] hot, but I digress." (--Check out the video here. WARNING!!! There are two F-bombs and one S-bomb in the song.) --The best thing about this video is that Jason Segel LOVES IT. He Tweeted, quote, "My favorite thing, maybe ever. I am in awe. Response on the way. --"I'm gonna need a couple days on this one."

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver Are Probably Not Getting Back Together:

When ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER and MARIA SHRIVER were spotted with bling on their wedding ring fingers earlier this week, everyone started speculating that they were getting back together. But it's probably not true. --Sources say the ring Maria is wearing is the engagement ring of her late mother, EUNICE SHRIVER . . . and she's been wearing it since Eunice died over two years ago. --There's no explanation for Arnold's ring, but sources say the divorce is still on track.

Jonah Hill is Dating Dustin Hoffman's Daughter:

JONAH HILL is slicing himself off a piece of DUSTIN HOFFMAN'S daughter these days. Her name is Ali, and she's 24 years old. And it turns out she and Jonah have known each other for years. --That's because Dustin basically discovered Jonah when he was in high school, and gave him his big break in the 2004 flick "I Heart Huckabees". (--Check out pictures of Jonah and Ali here. Jonah is 27, FYI.) (Us Weekly)

Drew Barrymore Is Engaged:

DREW BARRYMORE is going to make The Big Mistake once again. Sources say her boyfriend Will Kopelman popped the question in Idaho over the holidays. --Will is an "art consultant", and his dad used to be the CEO of Chanel. He's 34. Drew is 36. (--This will be Drew's THIRD marriage. She was hitched to Jeremy Thomas from March of 1994 to February of 1995 . . . and she was married to Tom Green from July of 2001 to October of 2002.)

Britney Spears Admits She Can't Stop Looking at Her Engagement Ring:

BRITNEY SPEARS has a problem that a lot of newly-betrothed women suffer from: She can't stop looking at her engagement ring. --In fact, she posted a picture of herself showing it off on her Facebook page, along with the caption, "I can't stop looking at it!!" (--Check it out here.)

Is Bradley Cooper Dating Zoe Saldana?

BRADLEY COOPER . . . "People" magazine's reigning Sexiest Man Alive . . . might be dating "Star Trek" minx ZOE SALDANA. --A source says they made out for a solid 20 minutes at a New Year's Eve party in Bel Air. --Of course, Bradley and Zoe just filmed a movie together called "The Words" . . . so the rumors were inevitable. Interestingly, the film also stars OLIVIA WILDE . . . someone else Bradley has supposedly slipped the stones to.
Kirstie Alley Has Decided to Date Ugly Men:

On today's "Ellen DeGeneres Show", KIRSTIE ALLEY announces a new lifestyle change: She's only going to date UGLY MEN. --After whining that she always seems to end up with "psychos" and "players", she says, quote, "I'm thinking ugly men might be the solution. --"I'm talking about butt ugly. Because I go for really handsome men and I think butt ugly would be appreciative." --Ellen then brought out a tattoo artist to give Kirstie some ink for her 61st birthday . . . which is next Thursday. She got the initials "TL" on her wrist, in honor of her son True and her daughter Lilly. (--Here's a picture of Kirstie's new ink.) (Us Weekly)

Justin Timberlake's Grandmother Says He's Engaged:

We still don't have the official word on the JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE / JESSICA BIEL engagement. But maybe we don't need it anymore . . . because Justin's GRANDMOTHER has confirmed it. (???) --She says, quote, "Yes, Justin is engaged. Jessica is a very sweet girl, she's upright and everything and we love her."

Gwyneth Paltrow Wants to Cleanse Your Colon:

If your New Year's resolution was to CLEANSE YOUR COLON, then GWYNETH PALTROW has your back. --Perhaps you're familiar with Gwyneth's health and lifestyle website (--"Goop" doesn't really stand for anything, by the way. She just kinda made it up using her own initials, "G.P.") --Well, Gwyneth is peddling something called the GOOP CLEANSE. It's a diet regimen consisting of protein shakes and supplements that are designed to, quote, "give your digestive system a break and also improve energy levels" by cleaning the toxins from your system. --Here's the downside: It costs $425. (--Learn more about the Goop Cleanse here.)

Nick Cannon Says He's Getting Back to Business:

NICK CANNON seems to be in good shape for a guy who suffered KIDNEY FAILURE earlier this week. He's been transferred from Aspen to a hospital in Los Angeles, and he appears to be on the mend. --Yesterday, he Tweeted a picture of himself getting his head shaved in his hospital room, along with the caption "Getting back to business." (--Check it out here.) (Twitter)

Celebrity Hero of the Day! JC Chasez from N' Sync Saved a Baby's Life!

N' SYNC may be yesterday's news, but former member JC CHASEZ is TODAY'S news . . . after he SAVED A BABY'S LIFE on a beach in Miami. --JC and his girlfriend were kicking back in the sand on New Year's Day when a helicopter buzzed a little too close to the beach. The wind from the blades kicked up an umbrella and sent it flying straight toward the year-old infant. --Using the lightning reflexes that have always made JC such a threat on the dance floor (???) JC intercepted the umbrella before it could do any harm. --The child's mother told "People" magazine, quote, "[My daughter] is safe because of him. I want to tell him thank you from the bottom of my heart. If it had not been for him, my daughter could have been seriously hurt."

Jeremy Renner Was Almost in a Bar Brawl in Thailand Where a Guy Was Stabbed in the Neck with an Ax:

JEREMY RENNER should be kicking back and enjoying the success of "Mission: Impossible: Ghost Protocol". But he can't really do that when he's watching friends get STABBED IN THE NECK WITH AN AX. -Renner was at a bar in Phuket, Thailand early Wednesday morning when a brawl broke out. His group included 40-year-old Vorasit Issara, the owner of a luxury hotel. --Exact details are sketchy, but apparently, Issara got into it with staffers at the bar. Suddenly, six of them swarmed on Issara . . . stabbing him in the stomach with a knife and cutting his neck with a homemade ax made out of a motorcycle brake rotor. --Renner's rep says he left the bar when the fight broke out and suffered no injuries. Issara is being treated for a serious stomach wound and partially-severed neck tendons. --The six assailants were arrested and charged with attempted murder. (--Jeremy Renner plays William Brandt, the new guy on Tom Cruise's team, in the new "Mission: Impossible".) (--He's also Hawkeye in the upcoming "Avengers" flick and he'll star in "The Bourne Legacy" . . . the first "Bourne" movie without Matt Damon.) --And he's been nominated for an Oscar TWICE . . . for "The Town" and "The Hurt Locker".)

Justin Bieber Has a New Jesus Tattoo:

JUSTIN BIEBER now has THREE tattoos. He was photographed in Los Angeles Wednesday with the face of Jesus on his calf. (--Check it out here.) (Gossip Center) --This is Justin's second Jesus tattoo. He also has "Yeshua", which is Jesus' name in Hebrew, on his side and the outline of a seagull above his beltline. (--You can see pictures of those tattoos here. There are also pictures of Justin with the outline of a star on his elbow. But that tattoo was FAKE.)

Elin Nordegren Bought a $12 Million Mansion . . . And Tore It Down:

This is the kind of stuff you can do when you're the ex-Mrs. TIGER WOODS . . . --Last March, ELIN NORDEGREN bought a $12 million, 9,000-square-foot mansion in North Palm Beach, Florida. But it wasn't exactly what she wanted . . . so she TORE IT DOWN. --Then she hired a high-priced architect to design and build her "dream house" on the site. (--Here are some pictures of the work being done . . . and one of the original house before she destroyed it.) (TMZ) --Elin bought the house shortly after scoring a $110 million divorce settlement from Tiger.


A Movie Starring Dennis Quaid as a Killer Mortician and A New Exorcist Flick Are The First New Movies to Hit Theaters in 2012:

#1.) "The Devil Inside" (R) (Trailer)

A woman murders three people in the middle of her own exorcism, and gets locked up for the rest of her life. A Brazilian minx named Fernanda Andrade plays her daughter, who asks some exorcists to take another shot at removing the four demons that have possessed her mom.

#2.) "Beneath the Darkness" (R) (Trailer) (Limited)

Dennis Quaid plays a mortician who terrorizes a group of high school students after they catch him DANCING WITH A CORPSE. He kills one of them that first night, but the cops don't believe their story so he's free to go after the rest. --One of the kids is played by Aimee Teegarden, who you might recognize as the coach's daughter Julie on "Friday Night Lights".

Marco Andretti Bailed on "Celebrity Apprentice" After Dan Wheldon's Death, But His Dad Michael Andretti Is Taking His Place:

Earlier this week, the cast list for the next "Celebrity Apprentice" surfaced online. Many sources were reporting that 24-year-old racecar driver MARCO ANDRETTI was onboard. And he was . . . initially . . . but that's no longer the case. --Instead, his father MICHAEL ANDRETTI is doing it. --Michael tells, quote, "When you watch the first episode, you'll see me show up late. My son was [going] to do the show, but with the death of his close friend Dan Wheldon in the Las Vegas race and Marco's grandfather, Vito Spinozzi Sr., dying in October, I went in his place." --The tragic crash that killed Wheldon also happened in October . . . and that's the same month that "Celebrity Apprentice" began filming. --Since Michael says he "shows up late" on the first episode, it's possible that Marco appears at the very beginning . . . or that this switch will be addressed on the show. But that's just a guess at this point. --"Celebrity Apprentice" premieres February 12th on NBC. (--Michael is the CEO of Andretti Autosport and runs two full-time driver programs in the IndyCar series, where he has been just as successful as an owner. He is the winningest team owner in IndyCar history.)

Snooki Is Happy Just Having *Two* Glasses of Wine a Week . . . or So She Would Like Us to Believe:

Several things come to mind when you think of SNOOKI . . . and one of them is ALCOHOL. And PLENTY of it. --But on "Ellen" yesterday, Snooki said that her boyfriend Jionni has had a SOBERING effect on her . . . and now, she doesn't drink as much as she used to because, as a 24 year old, she's more "mature." --She said, quote, "When I was 21, I didn't really care. I would go out like every single weekend and just go crazy. Now that I have a boyfriend, and I'm in love, and I'm 24 . . . I only have a couple of glasses of wine once a week." --"It's kind of like, I've matured. I still know how to throw down a couple of shots, [but] I prefer to take it easy . . . I drink like two Pinots once a week and I'm good." (--Is anyone buying this?) (--Unfortunately, it's difficult to call her a hypocrite . . . because the current season of "Jersey Shore" filmed last summer. So Snooki could say that her maturation has happened since then.) (--And a few months back, she claimed "Snooki" was just a CHARACTER she played on TV . . . and that in real life she was "Nicole," a "soft, calm, business-ready person.") (--There's video of Snooki and JWOWW talking to "Ellen" on her website.)


Friday TV Reminders:

--"Wizards of Waverly Place" [Series Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Disney. The three Russo children battle it out to see who will become the family wizard.

--"Supernatural" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW. Meghan Ory guest stars as a truck-stop worker. She plays Little Red Riding Hood on "Once Upon a Time".

--"Great Performances" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. The Los Angeles Philharmonic, Herbie Hancock and Gustavo Dudamel celebrate Gershwin.

--"Say Yes To The Dress: Atlanta" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC.

--"Merlin" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.

--"Portlandia" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on IFC. Carrie has a crush on "SNL's" Andy Samberg when he guest stars as a mixologist.

--"The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on IFC.

Saturday TV Reminders:

--"AFC Wild Card Game" . . . 4:30 to 7:30 P.M. Eastern on NBC. The Houston Texans host the Cincinnati Bengals at Reliant Stadium in Houston.

--"NFC Wild Card Game" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on NBC. The New Orleans Saints host the Detroit Lions at the Superdome in New Orleans.

--"Grand Ole Opry Live" . . . 7:00 to 9:00 P.M. on GAC. Bo Bice, Andy Gibson, Edens Edge and John Conlee perform.

--"Dog Whisperer" [8th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Nat Geo Wild.

--"Your Voice, Your Vote" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. "Meet the Press'" David Gregory moderates the Republican presidential candidates debate in New Hampshire.

--"Austin City Limits" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. The Head and the Heart and Gomez perform.

--"That Metal Show" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 Classic. Bad Company's lead singer Paul Rodgers and Buckcherry guest.

--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. Charles Barkley guest hosts and Kelly Clarkson is the musical guest.

Sunday TV Reminders:

--"NFC Wild Card Game" . . . 1:00 to 4:00 P.M. Eastern on Fox. The New York Giants host the Atlanta Falcons at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.

--"AFC Wild Card Game" . . . 4:30 to 7:30 P.M. Eastern on CBS. The Denver Broncos host the Pittsburgh Steelers at Sports Authority Field in Denver.

--"The Simpsons" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on Fox. Ted Nugent guests as himself when Homer lands a political radio talk show and endorses Ted for President.

--"Desperate Housewives" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. Bree prepares to kill herself in her depression about the falling out with her friends.

--"The Firm" [Series Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. The series picks up 10 years after the movie, with attorney Mitchell McDeere trying to reenter a normal life in Washington D.C. Josh Lucas takes over for Tom Cruise as Mitch McDeere.

--"Shameless" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Showtime.

--"Oprah's Next Chapter" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on OWN. Oprah speaks with Pastor Joel Osteen.

--"Downton Abbey" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on PBS.

--"The Cleveland Show" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. Cleveland Jr. dates a beautiful young Latina, voiced by Rosie Perez. Plus Baseball Hall of Famer Johnny Bench guests as himself.

--"Tom Papa: Live From New York City" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. Tom Papa does stand-up from Union Square Theatre in New York City.

--"Cajun Pawn Stars" [Series Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on History. This spin-off follows the Silver Dollar Pawn & Jewelry Center in Louisiana.

--"Oprah Presents Master Class" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on OWN. Jane Fonda guests.

--"All-American Muslim" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.

--"Californication" [5th Season Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Showtime.

--"Watch What Happens: Live" [6th Season Premiere] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Bravo.

Jason Derulo Fractured His Neck . . . But He Seems to Be OK:

JASON DERULO broke his neck while rehearsing for his European tour. --He posted a picture on Facebook of him lying down in a neck brace. He said, quote, "I fractured my neck doing tumbling and acrobatics for [my] tour! Always tryin' to push [the] boundaries for YOU! Like my new chain? ;)" --The 'chain' line was a joke about the brace . . . and it's nice to hear that he has a sense of humor about it, because his doctors say he could've been PARALYZED if the injury was any more severe. --Jason's rep says he was rehearsing some kind of dance move when he landed directly on his head and suffered "an acute fracture of his vertebrae." --It seems like Jason will be OK . . . but he has to wear the brace for the next few months. That means he's had to cancel his European tour, which was supposed to begin on February 23rd. --Late last night, Jason released a statement saying, quote, "The pain of letting you down cuts me way deeper than this injury I've sustained. My fans mean everything to me, so I'm praying for a speedy recovery in order to perform for you in the near future." (--Here's the link to the picture.) (Facebook)

Nickelback Doesn't Mind That the Black Keys Dissed Them:

BLACK KEYS drummer PATRICK CARNEY took a big shot at NICKELBACK in the new issue of "Rolling Stone" . . . but Nickelback isn't sweating it. --Patrick said, quote, "Rock 'n' roll is dying because people became OK with Nickelback being the biggest band in the world . . . they became OK with the idea that the biggest rock band in the world is always going to be [crap]." --Nickelback responded on Twitter with this: Quote, "Thanks to the drummer in the Black Keys calling us the Biggest Band in the World in 'Rolling Stone'. Hehe." (--That doesn't seem completely toothless. Referring to Patrick as "the drummer in the Black Keys" and tacking on the "hehe" are mini, retaliatory shots.) (--Regardless, Nickelback recently showed that they can make fun of themselves when they made a Funny or Die video about how much people hate them.)

Tom Cruise Thinks "Pour Some Sugar on Me" Is an "Absolute Classic":

TOM CRUISE performs DEF LEPPARD'S "Pour Some Sugar on Me" in his upcoming "Rock of Ages" movie . . . and the band says he LOVES the song. -Def Leppard got the chance to meet him while he was working on the flick . . . and guitarist PHIL COLLEN said, quote, "I was really pleased with how down-to-earth Tom was. He was very humble. --"And [he] actually told us how he thought 'Pour Some Sugar on Me' was an absolute classic. He said it deserved all of the respect and attention he can give it. So we were definitely honored." Collen said Tom "did a great job" with the song.

Van Halen Unveiled a "New" Song Last NIght:

Here's the latest on the VAN HALEN front: They've named their new album "A Different Kind of Truth", and it'll be out on February 7th. It's their first album with DAVID LEE ROTH since "1984", which came out in 1984. --Van Halen played their first gig last night in New York City . . . at a tiny club called Café Wha?. And they unveiled a new song. Sort of. It's called "She's the Woman", and it's actually a song they wrote in the '70s, but never put on an album. (--There's a rough demo of it from back in the day on YouTube.) --The band also announced a bunch of tour dates. They run from February 18th in Louisville . . . to June 26th in New Orleans. And get this: KOOL AND THE GANG is supposedly opening for them on select dates. (???) (--That's pretty sad if it's true. You can check out all the dates, and the set-list from last night's show, here. There are also some pictures, and Roth looks like he's a Mario brother. Here's a good shot of that.)

Kanye West Wants to "Pick Up Where Steve Jobs Left Off":

KANYE WEST exploded on Twitter in the middle of the night Wednesday night . . . Tweeting 91 times within about three hours. (--In the middle of it, he said, quote, "5:18 A.M. in London. My dreams keep me woke." That's how he said it.) --A lot of it was about a massive design company that Kanye says he's starting. It's called "DONDA," after his mother DONDA WEST, who passed away in 2007. --By the way, Kanye is ALL ABOUT that name. He said, quote, "I'm so excited about the name . . . it's got the best name ever of all companies of all time!!!" --Kanye said that DONDA would, quote, "pick up where STEVE JOBS left off," by, quote, "making products and experiences that people want and can afford . . . --"We need to help simplify and aesthetically improve everything we see hear, touch, taste and feel . . . to dream of, create, advertise and produce products driven equally by emotional want and utilitarian need. To marry our wants and needs." --If that sounds like a mouthful, it is. It sounds like a HUGE undertaking. --Kanye said the company would feature "over 22 divisions," staffed by, quote, "architects, graphic designers, directors musicians, producers, A&Rs, writers, publicists, social media experts, app guys, managers, car designers, clothing designers, DJs, video game designers, publishers, tech guys, lawyers, bankers, nutritionists, doctors, scientists and teachers." --In other words, forget the unemployment line . . . Kanye West is hiring! --He even finished his rant by offering up some contact information for anyone interested in this DONDA thing. He said, quote, "If anyone would like to reach out email us at" --Kanye also said he's going to release a "seven screen" movie experience called "2016 Olympics" sometime this year. He's says it's "semi sci-fi since 2016 is only four years away." --He also talked about how he'd like to design the "MTV Video Music Awards" . . . and how he's "discussed becoming the creative director" for the upcoming "Jetsons" movie. (--The movie's producers later confirmed that they had a "fun brainstorming conversation" with Kanye, and seem interested in having him onboard if he actually signs on.) --Oh, and Kanye also wants to FIX SCHOOLS by, quote, "helping education." --He explained, quote, "School systems were designed to turn people into factory workers. Schools should be designed to prep human beings for real life . . . --"Kids should be able to take 'majors' starting in grammar school like how it is at performing arts schools . . . there are so many broken systems from the economy to school systems jail systems . . . we need experts for this." --Kanye said he wants to start a summer school with "Where the Wild Things Are" director SPIKE JONZE, which, quote, "tries new forms of curriculum." (--This guy is obviously insane, but maybe he's also BRILLIANT. Whatever the case, you can't deny the entertainment value here. You can read ALL this madness at


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Check out a trailer for the upcoming Oscars, featuring host BILLY CRYSTAL . . . along with Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Vinnie Jones and Robin Williams. (Video)

KERI RUSSELL . . . that chick you forgot about after "Felicity" went off the air . . . gave birth to a baby girl two days after Christmas. This is the second child for Keri and her husband. They named her Willa Lou. (???) (Full Story)

"Girls Gone Wild" scumbag JOE FRANCIS got into a fender bender with a woman in Beverly Hills . . . which turned into a PHYSICAL FIGHT between the two of them. Francis was handcuffed by the cops, but NOT arrested. (Full Story with photos)

Someone broke into MIKE TYSON'S Las Vegas hotel room over the weekend . . . but fled when he woke up. (Full Story)

Check out video of a wannabe ANGELINA JOLIE impersonator who may be hotter than the real thing. (Video)

Useless Celebrity Info: TAYE DIGGS was born with six fingers on each hand. (Full Story)

David O. Russell . . . the Oscar-nominated director of "The Fighter" . . . is accused of groping the breasts of his 19-year-old transgender niece. He claims it was CONSENSUAL. Russell's niece . . . who is NOT related by blood . . . was born male, but is making the transition to female. (Full Story)

THE KILLERS will release their next album sometime this year, and they AREN'T screwing with their sound. Singer BRANDON FLOWERS says, quote, "We don't want to make 'Hot Fuss 2' or 'Sam's Town 2', or 'Day & Age 2'. [But] I think the consensus within the band is to take those things that we've done well and really hone in on that." (Full Story)

17% of Us Have Been Caught Returning a Gift:

Still planning to return some of the mediocre presents you got for Christmas? Think about THIS before you do it. There's a one-in-six chance you'll get CAUGHT by the person who gave you the gift. --In a new survey by the website, 17% of people admit they've been caught returning a present. --In most cases, it's not because the person who gave them the gift was in the store and actually saw them making the return. --Usually, the gift-giver notices you never use or wear the present they got you . . . and they ask why.

--27% of people say they've felt guilty returning a gift.

--78% have pretended to like a gift they got even though they didn't.

--And 13% say they would be offended if someone returned a gift they gave.
(PR Newswire)

Most Photos Reported By Facebook Users Aren't Offensive . . . They Just Don't Like the Way They Look in Them:

Under every photo on Facebook there's a button, and it allows any user to 'report' the photo to Facebook. --The idea is for people to report photos in violation of Facebook rules, like if they show porno or people using illegal drugs. --That's not how people are using the feature, though. Earlier this week, Facebook engineering director Arturo Bejar confirmed that most people report photos that aren't offensive at all . . . it's because they don't like the way they LOOK in them. --Think about it: You probably look worse in the photos OTHER people tag you in, than in the pictures on your own profile. That's because YOU choose the photos you post . . . and it's just not about you on your friends' pages. --Not ALL the complaints are because people think they look bad. Some people have a more legitimate beef. --For example, Facebook says one woman asked that a photo of her at a political event be removed before her boss saw it. Another woman didn't want her brother-in-law to post photos of her two-year-old son. --For the record, Facebook won't do anything about inoffensive photos, but they've changed the reporting feature so you can complain directly to the person who posted it. (Gawker)

The Average Person Puts Their Vacation Photos on Facebook Within Four Hours of Getting Home:

Remember 10 years ago, when you kinda felt GUILTY forcing your friends to look at your vacation photos? Well, thanks to Facebook, now we can't WAIT to share. --A new survey found the average person uploads vacation photos to Facebook within FOUR HOURS of getting home. --And 9% of people even upload them while they're still on vacation. (Breaking Travel News)

Women Prefer the Smell of a Shaved Man's Armpit to a Hairy One . . . But Only Slightly:

This study is win-win. If you've been looking for an excuse to shave your armpits, you've got one now, sailor. And if you really DON'T want to shave your armpits, this basically justifies that too. --Researchers in the Czech Republic had men completely shave one armpit and leave the other one hairy. Then they swabbed odor samples from underneath both armpits and had women smell them. --It turned out women had a SLIGHT preference for the shaved armpits . . . but the researchers say the difference is, quote, "not quite large." --In other words . . . if you shave, women might prefer your armpit odor a little bit, but if you don't shave, it shouldn't really affect you with the ladies. (LiveScience)
Women Tell 474 Lies About Food Every Year . . . Here are the Top 20:

Not exactly breaking news . . . but people lie about food. A lot. And you know who I blame? SOCIETY. Let us be chubby and happy. --According to a new survey sponsored by Timex, the average woman tells 474 lies about food and drink EVERY YEAR. That's an average of 1.3 lies per day, and about nine per week. --CHOCOLATE is the food women are most likely to lie about, followed by potato chips, cake, candy, cheese, bread, and burgers. --The survey also compiled a list of the top 20 lies that women tell about food. Here they are, from the most common lie to least common . . .

#1.) "It was only a small portion."

#2.) "I had a big lunch because I won't eat much after this."

#3.) "I only treat myself once in a while."

#4.) "I always eat the right number of servings of fruits and vegetables in a day."

#5.) "I didn't touch any of the cookies."

#6.) "I only had one glass of wine."

#7.) "I didn't eat the last one."

#8.) "I won't eat again today after this."

#9.) "I was too busy to have lunch."

#10.) "I figured I had to eat them now or they'd go bad."

#11.) "I had a healthy salad."

#12.) "I never eat fast food."

#13.) "Red wine is good for you."

#14.) "I only added a little sugar."

#15.) "I limit my carb intake."

#16.) "I'm testing the dinner."

#17.) "I only had a drink because we were toasting a special occasion."

#18.) "I only drink diet soda."

#19.) "I just finished off the kids' leftovers."

#20.) "I don't drink coffee or tea after 5:00 P.M." (Daily Mail)
The Average Worker Starts at 8:09 A.M., Works a Nine-Hour Day, and Takes a 28-Minute Lunch:

I don't have to tell you that the eight-hour, nine-to-five workday with an hour for lunch is DEAD. It's right there next to the VCR and freaking out over the cost of long distance. --We've got the results here from a new study that figured out the ACTUAL hours and lifestyle of the average worker. Check it out . . . --The average office worker starts at 8:09 A.M. and leaves at 5:22 P.M. -That means the average workday is now nine hours, 13 minutes. -The average person leaves home at 7:49 A.M. and has a commute that lasts 20 minutes and 41 seconds. The commute home takes 33 minutes and 46 seconds.

--It takes 12 minutes before the first conversation with a coworker, at 8:21 A.M.

--The average worker takes a 28-minute lunch break.

--And spends an average of $5 on lunch.

--Only 7% go outside for some fresh air during lunch.

--The average worker drinks three cups of coffee a day.

--We average one argument with a coworker daily.

--The average worker sends 26 emails a day and receives 32.

--And finally, the average worker spends 10 minutes and 15 seconds on Facebook during the workday. (Press Association)

Your Mom Can't Affect You Over Instant Message Like She Can Over the Phone or Face-to-Face:

According to a new study, your mom has a less-positive impact on you when you talk over instant message than when you're on the phone or talking face-to-face. --Researchers at the University of Wisconsin monitored women's stress and comfort hormone levels when they talked to their moms. Phone calls and face-to-face meetings led to bigger drops in stress and increases in comfort than instant messages. --The researchers think there are two main reasons IM conversations aren't as good for getting soothing motherly advice . . . --First, just hearing mom's voice could trigger soothing effects. And second, if your mom can't hear YOUR voice, she might not realize how stressed out you really are. (Wired)

Something Feels Wrong Here . . . A New Service Lets You Send In Your Wife's Underwear to Test for Another Man's DNA:

In case you didn't hear, Wednesday was the biggest CHEATING DAY of the year. And we hope you trust your significant other so much that you have NO suspicions they're running around on you. --But if you are suspicious . . . and you feel like you've run out of non-creepy options to find the truth . . . there's a VERY CREEPY new service that you can turn to. --It's called Infidelity DNA. You send them a pair of your wife's underwear . . . and they run a DNA test on it searching for traces of another man's "seed." --The founder of the service is named Kip Charles. He says, quote, "There is just no legitimate reason or lie that a wife can come up with for having another man's [semen] in her underwear." (--Classy.) --The website is a little vague about pricing, but they say it costs less than $200. --And, of course, you'll have to send them a pair of your wife or girlfriend's used underwear that you suspect she was wearing when she had an affair, so it's not exactly a perfect system. In fact . . . the whole thing just feels kinda WRONG. (Jezebel) (--You can sign up or learn more about this at

Someone Leaked Casey Anthony's Video Diary . . . It's the First Time We've Heard Her Speak Since Her Acquittal:

Yesterday morning, the "Today" show aired a video diary from CASEY ANTHONY that someone posted on YouTube. --NBC confirmed that it's real, so this is the first time we've heard her speak since the trial. --But she didn't want it released, she was just making it for herself. So one of her attorneys is investigating how it got leaked. --Anyway, the story is that the video was leaked at all . . . it's not the content of the video. It's really boring, actually. Four minutes and 19 seconds never felt so long. --She doesn't mention anything about her trial . . . or her baby daughter Caylee, who she was accused of killing. --She just talks about how she's excited to have a computer and a phone . . . things she didn't have in prison . . . rambles about her probation and her dog, and says she's optimistic about the future. --Oh, and she's got glasses and blonde, Kate Gosselin-hair. --She says, quote, "I'm extremely excited that I'll be able to Skype and obviously keep a video log, take some pictures and then I have something that I can finally call mine. --"Now I . . . have someone to talk to when I'm by myself so I'm not bothering the poor dog who I've adopted . . . he's as much my dog as any of the other pets I've ever had." --It was recorded on October 13th at an undisclosed location in Florida where she's serving her probation. Her parents just found out about it yesterday too, and they're worried it could somehow jeopardize her safety. (Today / People) (--Check out the video here. If this wasn't Casey Anthony, and was just some random person's video diary, you wouldn't last more than 40 seconds.)

American Airlines is Ranked the Worst Airline in the Country . . . Alaska is the Best:

The "Wall Street Journal" just released its annual rankings of U.S. airlines. We're down to just SEVEN major airlines in this country . . . and they STILL can't get everything right. --The rankings are based on how the airlines do in six categories: On-time arrivals, excessive delays, baggage handling, customer complaints, bumping passengers, and cancelling flights. --Alaska Airlines is the smallest major airline left . . . and they got the highest overall rank. They scored number one in three categories: On-time arrivals, fewest excessive delays, and fewest canceled flights. --On the other end, American Airlines came in dead last. They scored in the bottom three in all six categories. Here are the full rankings . . .

#1.) Alaska

#2.) Southwest (--now merged with AirTran)

#3.) Delta

#4.) United (--now merged with Continental)

#5.) U.S. Airways

#6.) JetBlue

#7.) American

(Wall Street Journal)

A Basset Hound Swallowed a Woman's $4,500 Wedding Ring, So She Had Her Vet Remove It:

Women love their pets. But they might love their jewelry even more. --Last month, Rachelle Atkinson of Albuquerque, New Mexico lost her $4,500 diamond wedding ring. --She says one morning it wasn't on her nightstand, so she and her husband Scott searched for it everywhere. They worried that it had been stolen, and celebrated their wedding anniversary on December 26th without the ring. --Finally, they went after the only other suspect who'd been in the bedroom . . . their 10-month-old Basset hound, Coraline. And Rachelle says Coraline, quote, "looked guilty." So they figured she must have swallowed the ring. --For 10 days, they waited for Coraline to pass the ring. The job of searching, of course, fell on Scott. He said, quote, "I had to go through all the poos and squish them up and make sure there were no hard lumps in there."
-Finally, they took Coraline to the vet, where an X-ray showed the ring in her stomach. It was too big to pass, so the vet needed to retrieve it. He knocked Coraline out, then put an instrument down her throat to fish it out. --The vet said that Basset hounds have a habit of eating rocks, so it makes sense that Coraline would go after the big diamond. --The ring has been thoroughly cleaned and Rachelle is wearing it again. Coraline made a full recovery. (KOB 4) (--Here's Coraline's X-ray, showing Rachelle's ring in her stomach.)


A Car Thief Crashes a Car . . . and It Ends Up On the Roof of a House:

This is a car stunt straight out of a "Fast and the Furious" movie . . . but it actually happened in REAL LIFE. Also, it happened with a Saturn, which is NOT the kind of car they use in those movies. --Around 1:30 A.M. on Wednesday, 26-year-old Benjamin Tucker of Fresno, California stole a Saturn from a driveway, then took off. The speed limit in the neighborhood was 30 miles per hour. --He was going faster than that. MUCH faster. And as he tried to make a sharp turn, he hit a curb . . . the car LAUNCHED into the air . . . and he ended up landing ON THE ROOF of a house. --From the looks of the news video, the car ended up at least 10 feet in the air on top of the roof. And it was a perfect landing . . . right-side up, all four tires squarely on the roof, at a standstill. --Benjamin jumped off the roof and broke his leg in the process. Police tracked him down about a quarter-mile away. --No one inside the house was injured. There was only minimal damage to the interior of the house, but the roof will need some work. --The police had to use a special crane to pull the car off the roof. (ABC 30 - Fresno) --You can see a video of the car on the roof here. We've also got a still shot of the car up on the roof here.)

A Couple Fought Over the Proper Way to Order a Pizza . . . and it Led the Cops to Their Home, and Their Drugs:

Earlier this week, a couple in Chaska, Minnesota was ordering a pizza. (--Their names and ages weren't released.) The man started placing the order, and as it goes in relationships, the woman started telling him he was doing it all wrong. --They hung up on the pizza order, started arguing, and the argument turned physical. Someone called the police . . . it's not clear if it was a neighbor or the pizza place . . . and the cops arrived to break up the fight. --And when they got there, they found a large bong, several pipes, and some reefer. Yep . . . a fight over the proper way to order a pizza led the cops to their drug stash. --The woman was arrested and charged with domestic assault . . . she was the one doing all the punching in the fight. The man was arrested for possession of the drugs and drug paraphernalia. (CBS 4 - Minneapolis)

Police in Orlando Have Arrested Darth Vader:

Oh, the other guys on the Death Star are going to be mad about this. At 2:45 A.M. on Thursday, in Orlando, Florida, police arrested DARTH VADER. --Or, more accurately, they arrested 28-year-old Michael Cole of Orlando . . . who was stumbling around drunk in a Darth Vader mask. They ended up having to Taser him after he attacked a cop, and now he's facing charges for resisting and battery. -There's no word on WHY he was stumbling around drunk in a Darth Vader mask. (CBS 6 - Orlando) (--Here's video of the arrest, but he's not wearing the mask.)

A Woman Rubbed Her Butt on a $30 Million Painting and Caused $10,000 Worth of Damage:

Carmen Tisch is a 36-year-old woman from Colorado, and apparently she does NOT like abstract art. --Carmen and some friends were at the Clyfford Still Museum in Denver last Thursday afternoon, and she appeared to be drunk. --She came across a nine-and-a-half-foot tall, 13-foot-wide abstract oil painting by Clyfford Still titled "1957-J-No. 2." That's when the trouble started. --For some reason, Carmen pulled down her pants, repeatedly punched and scratched the painting, leaned against it with her pants down, and slid down to the floor. --Museum officials say the painting is valued at $30 MILLION, and Carmen did about $10,000 worth of damage.--But it could have been a lot worse. While Carmen was rubbing her backside against the painting, she also EMPTIED her BLADDER. Officials say that it appears she just peed on herself, and none of it got on the painting. --Carmen was charged with felony criminal mischief and is still in jail. (Denver Post) (--Here's Carmen's mugshot and a picture of the painting she attacked.)


Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

A British cosmetics company called Feel Unique created the 'Ultimate Woman' . . . Angelina Jolie's lips, Kate Beckinsale's nose, Megan Fox's eyebrows . . . you get the picture. And the resulting photo looks . . . kinda like Kim Kardashian. (--What do you think of their Ultimate Woman?) (Full Story)


#1.) Dirk Nowitzki Did a Dramatic Reading of "Oops! I Did It Again" by Britney Spears:

The Dallas Mavericks posted a pretty random video on their YouTube page yesterday. It's DIRK NOWITZKI sitting in front of a green-screen fireplace . . . doing a dramatic reading of the chorus from "Oops! I Did It Again" by BRITNEY SPEARS. --Search for "Dirk Nowitzki Dramatic Reading.")

#2.) A Kid Lip-Synched to the Profanity-Packed Song "Rack City" . . . While His Grandmother Danced to It in the Background:

I can't decide if this is the COOLEST grandmother in the world . . . or the WORST. There's a video on YouTube of a teenager lip-synching to "Rack City" by Tyga . . . which is FILLED with profanity. --And the whole time, his grandma is dancing in the background. She also lip synchs the chorus, which is, quote, "Rack City [B-word]". The video was posted on Tuesday, and it already has almost two million views. (--Search for "Me and My Grandma Dancing to Rack City." (--WARNING: This video includes the F-word, N-word, S-word, and B-word.)

#3.) A Guy Tries to Make Doritos from Scratch in a Funny Commercial That Won't Air During the Super Bowl:

Every year, Doritos holds a contest where fans submit 30-second commercials for a chance to have them aired during the Super Bowl. The winners of this year's contest haven't been announced yet. But one of the rejected commercials is pretty funny. --It's a guy trying to make Doritos from scratch . . . using secret ingredients like unicorn tears. But he flips out because he keeps making gold by mistake. (--Search for "Doritos Make Your Own.")
The Four Real Reasons Men Are Afraid to Get Married:

The general consensus is that guys are afraid to get married because they don't like commitment, and they're scared to death of sleeping with just one woman the rest of their lives. -But obviously it's more complicated than that, so came up with a list of the REAL reasons guys have a negative view of marriage. Here are the top four.

#1.) Guys Constantly Hear Jokes About How Horrible Married Life Is. You've probably seen a thousand movies and sitcoms where a guy is getting married, and his buddies have to talk him out of it. --For example, it happens during Will Ferrell's wedding scene in"Old School", and it's the whole plot of the movie "Saving Silverman". --Plus, just about every stand-up comedian who gets married ends up with an entire routine about how awful it is . . . from Sam Kinison and Richard Pryor, to Ron White and Chris Rock. --After decades of listening to it, guys end up thinking it's universally true.

#2.) Weddings Have Become Ridiculously Expensive. The average wedding in the U.S. now costs $27,000. And it's not nearly as common for the father of the bride to pay for the whole thing anymore. --So on top of trying to decide whether he wants to commit for the rest of his life, a guy has to factor in that getting married will probably put him in debt. And throwing down tens of thousands of dollars on a single day seems ridiculous to most men.

#3.) The Thought of Divorce Is Terrifying. 50% of first marriages end in divorce. 60 to 67% of SECOND marriages end in divorce. And 70 to 73% of THIRD marriages don't last. --When guys hear stats like that, they end up thinking divorce is INEVITABLE. Then they also have to consider that 97% of alimony payments are made by men. And 84% of the time, the woman ends up getting custody of the kids. --But to be fair, only 33% of men even TRY to get sole custody.

#4.) A Loss of Power. Not being in control is much more terrifying to men than commitment is. And this one's kind of obvious, but the thought of having to check in before you make decisions isn't very appealing. --Once you're married, a guy can't just stay out without calling, or blow half his paycheck on a TV. He has to check with his wife first . . . which is kind of like having to run everything by your mom when you're a kid. (

Four Tips for Improving Your Dating Life in the New Year:

We're a week into 2012, so you've probably failed at about half of your New Year's resolutions already. But if you resolved to meet someone new this year, we've got four tips to help make that happen.

#1.) Stop Living in the Past. If you're jaded because your last relationship didn't end well, or you're worried you'll never find anyone as good as your ex, it's time to move on. The less baggage you have going forward, the better.

#2.) End Unhealthy Relationships. Get rid of "friends" who always bring you down, and cut off relationships that are going nowhere.

#3.) Go Out More. You're not going to meet someone if you're just sitting around at home, so try going out at least once a week. Take your laptop to a cafe and hang out for the afternoon . . . join a sports league . . . or sign up to volunteer.

#4.) Don't Give in to Deadline Pressure. Dating right after the holidays can feel forced, because your family probably gave you the third degree about why you're not dating, married, or starting a family yet. --But going into the dating scene with that mentality just sets you up for failure. You want your next relationship to develop naturally . . . but having a deadline in the back of your mind is going to make that impossible. (MSN)


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