December 14, 2009 - Blog

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW!

TIGER WOODS HAS ADMITTED TO "INFIDELITY" . . . AND HE'S TAKING A BREAK FROM GOLF:

TIGER WOODS issued another statement on Friday. This time, he admitted to INFIDELITY . . . but didn't go into any detail . . . and announced that he's taking an indefinite break from golf.

He said, quote, "I am deeply aware of the disappointment and hurt that my infidelity has caused to so many people, most of all my wife and children. I want to say again to everyone that I am profoundly sorry and that I ask forgiveness. --"It may not be possible to repair the damage I've done, but I want to do my best to try."

He added, quote, "After much soul searching, I have decided to take an indefinite break from professional golf. I need to focus my attention on being a better husband, father, and person." (--You can read the entire statement here . . .)http://web.tigerwoods.com/news/article/200912117801012/news/

--PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem threw his support behind Tiger, saying, quote, "His priorities are where they need to be, and we will continue to respect and honor his family's request for privacy. --"We look forward to Tiger's return to the PGA Tour when he determines the time is right for him."

Nike did the same, saying, quote, "Tiger has been part of Nike for more than a decade. He is the best golfer in the world and one of the greatest athletes of his era. We look forward to his return to golf. He and his family have Nike's full support." --Gillette, on the other hand, has decided to phase Tiger out of its ads while he sorts out his personal affairs. --The global management company Accenture is also turning its back on him.

The company says, quote, "Given the circumstances of the last two weeks, after careful consideration and analysis, the company has determined that he is no longer the right representative for its advertising." Accenture also said that it wishes only the best for Tiger Woods and his family.

(--Nike is gonna come out ahead on this one. Let's get serious here: Tiger didn't kill anyone. He didn't rob any old ladies. He cheated on his wife. Lots of guys do it, and the world doesn't stop turning. He'll be back someday, and he'll probably be just as good as he ever was. And Nike will have his loyalty BIG TIME.)

TIGER WOODS TOLD A NEW ZEALAND TV SHOW THAT FAMILY COMES FIRST:

This is kind of amusing if you're not ELIN NORDEGREN . . . In an interview conducted last month for some New Zealand TV show, TIGER WOODS talked about putting his FAMILY FIRST. --The interviewer said, quote, "Family first and golf second. [Will it] always be like that?"--To which Tiger replied, quote, "Always."


RACHEL UCHITEL GOT AN APOLOGY FROM "THE VIEW" . . . BUT NOT THE ONE SHE WANTED:

"The View" has apologized to TIGER WOODS' #1 mistress, RACHEL UCHITEL, for JOY BEHAR'S joke last week. But it wasn't good enough for Rachel. (--Joy dropped the now-classic rim shot, "Uchitel she's a hooker.")

The show issued the following statement . . . quote, "Joy Behar made a play on Ms. Uchitel's name. This was intended as a joke. We sincerely apologize for the choice of words and for any misimpression the joke may have created." --But Rachel wants more. Specifically, she wants to hear an ON-AIR apology. --Rachel's fame-whoring attorney, Gloria Allred, says, quote, "We still think it is important that the apology to Rachel be broadcast on the air on Monday's show. --"Rachel values her reputation and we look forward to ABC's broadcasting their apology to all those who heard it on their show. Because the statement was made on 'The View', the apology must be broadcast on that show as well."

(--Not a big Gloria Allred fan, but she definitely has a point. For the apology to equal and offset the offense, it really should be heard under the same circumstances.)

Surprisingly, we only have one more note concerning Rachel today: "Extra" claims that Rachel is in negotiations to pose for "Playboy", and she's looking for big bucks. (--And presumably no Whammies.) (???) --Allred says this is NOT true . . . and, quote, "Rachel will not be appearing in 'Playboy'."

MEET TIGER'S LATEST ANGEL:

Tiger has a new angel. British TV personality JODIE KIDD is the latest in a long and ever-expanding line of women who've allegedly enjoyed some HOT BLASIAN LOVE from TIGER WOODS.

There have been rumors that one of Tiger's as-yet-unidentified mistresses was a British TV presenter. And now, London's "Daily Mail" claims it's Jodie. --Jodie admits she met Tiger twice . . . but denies any romantic involvement whatsoever. --She says, quote, "I'm aware of the rumors going around about a British TV personality, but I can assure you it's not me. Yes, I have met Tiger on two occasions. --"They were both golf related and he seemed very pleasant, but we probably exchanged about three words."

CHILD SERVICES VISITED TIGER'S HOUSE:

The Florida Department of Children and Families sent someone to TIGER WOODS' home on Friday, for what they're calling a, quote, "well-being check." --The department apparently received some kind of complaint . . . but they wouldn't say what it was about or who it was from. There's no word on the outcome of the visit.

(--It could be that they were just evaluating the home following the incidents . . . or alleged incidents . . . that occurred over Thanksgiving weekend. But at this point, no one really knows.)


MELISSA RYCROFT . . . who turned a very public "Bachelor" dumping into a successful run on "Dancing With the Stars" . . . got married Saturday in Mexico. Her husband is an insurance agent named Tye Strickland.

The guy who dumped her, JASON MESNICK, issued a statement saying he's, quote, "really happy for her." (--Jason and his eventual "Bachelor" pick, Molly Malaney, got engaged in October, but have yet to make The Big Mistake.)


THE TOP 10 MOVIES OF THE DECADE . . . ACCORDING TO "ROLLING STONE":
"Rolling Stone" movie critic Peter Travers has dropped his list of the Top 10 Movies of the Decade. Here they are . . .
1.) "There Will Be Blood"2.) "Children of Men"3.) "Mulholland Drive"4.) "A History of Violence"5.) "No Country for Old Men"6.) "The Incredibles"7.) "Brokeback Mountain"8.) "The Departed"9.) "Mystic River"10.) The "Lord of the Rings" trilogyhttp://www.rollingstone.com/photos/gallery/31234572/peter_travers_10_best_movies_of_t/photo/10

TAYLOR LAUTNER

In his opening monologue on "Saturday Night Live" this past weekend, TAYLOR LAUTNER poked fun at KANYE WEST'S now infamous stage-crashing incident at the "MTV Video Music Awards". --Taylor . . . who was actually onstage with TAYLOR SWIFT when it happened . . . joked about how he now wishes he would've defended Taylor.

(--If you didn't see it, and you can take yet another Kanye / "VMAs" parody, here's the link . . .) http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/clips/taylor-lautner-monologue/1184683/


NOW THERE'S VIDEO OF AXL ROSE PUNCHING THAT PHOTOGRAPHER:

Now there's video of AXL ROSE'S altercation with the paparazzi at Los Angeles International Airport last Tuesday night. --In the video you can see Axl leveling the "photographer" with a punch to the head. It happens pretty fast, but it looks like Axl continues to kick at the guy while he's down. --It started when the photographer got into a scuffle with a woman who was traveling with Axl. Supposedly she wasn't happy about the guy trying to take her picture . . . or the way he was going about it.

In the video, you can hear Axl saying, quote, "touch her again, and I'll break [your] (effing) neck." The situation between the woman and the photographer continues . . . and Axl rushes him, knocking him to the floor. (--It's hard to hear exactly what Axl shouts at the end, but he's explaining why he attacked the other guy, and it sounds like he says, quote, "He hit my . . . he hit our mother!")

(--So maybe the woman is Axl's mom . . . or his girlfriend's mom . . . and the photographer got a little too close for Axl's comfort. But we're not sure.) (--You can watch the video, which includes BLEEPED PROFANITY, here . . .) http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=7fb695fe-dcbf-4f11-9767-1e689122f12c

It's unclear whether anything will come of this. You can see TSA agents observing the brawl in the video, but airport police never got involved . . . and last week, airport officials said they had no record of the incident being reported.

The photographer who got punched has yet to comment. --Last week, Axl's people issued a statement saying that Axl was, quote, "accosted by an unruly group of paparazzi . . . who became aggressive with the singer and female members of the traveling group." --Axl made his flight to Taiwan, where GUNS 'N ROSES were kicking off a tour.


SOME RETAILERS AREN'T STOCKING CHRIS BROWN'S NEW ALBUM . . . AND HE'S NOT HAPPY ABOUT IT:

It has come to CHRIS BROWN'S attention that some retailers are not stocking his new disc, "Graffiti", which came out last Tuesday . . . and he's NOT happy about it.

On Friday, Chris blew off some steam in a rant on Twitter. Here are his Tweets: --"I'm tired of this (crap). Major stores [are] blackballing my CD. Not stockin' the shelves and lying to costumers. What the (eff) do I gotta do . . ." --"WTF . . . yeah I said it and I ain't retracting (crap). I'm not biting my tongue about [this] (crap) . . . the industry can kiss my ass."--"For those people who [are] constantly tweeting me with bull(crap) . . . hop off my ****. [Your] life is pointless. For the young fans: Honestly, sorry for all the cursing. All my [real] fans: Love you . . . [thanks] for everything."--Then, on Saturday night, he added a few messages, after he personally went to a Wal-Mart in Connecticut and couldn't find his album anywhere. He said, quote: --"Just was at Wal-Mart in Wallingford CT . . . [and] they didn't even have my album in the back . . . [or] on shelves, saw for myself. We talked to the managers and they didn't even know anything. Wow!!!" --"The manager told me that when there are new releases it's mandatory to put 'em on the shelves . . . BUT NO SIGN OF 'GRAFFITI'. BS."

Wal-Mart hasn't officially commented on this . . . and neither has any other retailer that is allegedly "blackballing" Chris. (--It sounded like Chris was referring to more than just Wal-Mart, but we haven't heard the names of any other stores.)

But if Chris' album IS being intentionally kept out of stores, chances are it has something to do with the fact that Chris is a convicted woman beater. (--I don't want to side with Wal-Mart . . . and their practice of arbitrarily censoring some of the products they carry . . . but Chris has no one to blame here except himself.)

(--Does he really think it's the "industry's" fault that a lot of people consider him somewhat of a controversial figure right now? Does he really expect not to face any career repercussions for beating up RIHANNA earlier this year?) (--Just because you apologize for something like that . . . and even if you really, really, REALLY mean it . . . it doesn't just go away.)


BEST OF BILLBOARD

"Billboard" has put all their "Best of the 2000s" and "Best of 2009" music lists together in one place. (--To check them out, hit up the link below. On that page, the Best of 2009 lists can be found by clicking on the link at the bottom.)http://www.billboard.com/features/best-of-the-2000s-1004051233.story#/features/best-of-the-2000s-1004051233.story

HOLIDAY HIJINX

PRESIDENT OBAMA SAYS HE GIVES BETTER GIFTS THAN HE RECEIVES:

Last night, ABC aired an interview between OPRAH WINFREY and BARACK and MICHELLE OBAMA. --Eventually, the discussion turned to the topic of giving gifts . . . at which point President Obama said he GIVES better gifts than he RECEIVES. Michelle Obama immediately disagreed.

(--By the way, President Obama says that when he was a kid, his deadbeat dad gave him a basketball one year for Christmas and it was the BEST gift he ever received.) (--Which proves once again that no matter how lousy you are as a parent, you can always make up for a lifetime of neglect with a few inexpensive tokens of your affection. Good to know . . . I guess?) (Yahoo News)


WHAT DOES YOUR CHRISTMAS TREE SAY ABOUT YOU?

Last night, I was surfing the Internet AND stumbled across the LAMEST CHRISTMAS ARTICLE EVER. --It ran in a paper called the "Daily Sentinel", and the so-called "journalist" who wrote it was trying to figure out what a person's Christmas tree says about their personality.

So what does your Christmas tree supposedly say about your personality?

-- REAL TREE versus ARTIFICIAL TREE:--According to the article, people who prefer real Christmas trees enjoy the outdoors, and they're trying to recreate the ambience of the woods inside their homes. --But people who like artificial trees are frugal. They want something that will last for years, and they don't want to make a big fuss about it. They also may be perfectionists who don't want to bother with gaps in the branches, or picking up needles.

--WHITE LIGHTS versus MULTICOLORED LIGHTS:--People who use white lights enjoy simplicity. On the other hand, people who decorate their tree with multicolored lights do so because it's festive and they like to party.

--ASSORTED ORNAMENTS versus MATCHING ORNAMENTS:--Apparently, people who decorate their tree with a variety of ornaments value their past and family history. The idea is that, typically, each ornament has a special meaning or story behind it. And, more often than not, the tree was decorated by a group of people. --But when a tree has matching ornaments, it means a single person decorated the tree with a specific vision of how it's supposed to look. Put another way, people who decorate their tree to have a "theme" tend to prefer order and consistency.

--STAR versus ANGEL:--People who top their tree with a star tend to be idealists. They also tend to make decisions more haphazardly . . . leaving their fate in the hands of "the universe." --Meanwhile, those who top their tree with an angel tend to be more religious, and they make decisions based on a Higher Power. (--And there you have it . . . the most useless guide to decorating your Christmas tree in, well, probably the entire history of Christmas trees. I hope you enjoyed.) (Daily Sentinel)


APPARENTLY, THE MALE EQUIVALENT OF A "COUGAR" IS CALLED A "RHINO":

For years, the term "cougar" has been used to describe older women who only date young men. The idea is that they're always on the prowl for "fresh meat" . . . just like cougars.

But that got us thinking: What do you call an older man who only dates younger women? --Well, apparently, the male equivalent of the "cougar" is called a "RHINO." Why? According to UrbanDictionary.com, a "rhino" is, quote: --"An older man on the prowl for a younger woman and, by definition, the gender opposite of the cougar. The rhino derives his name from his appearance because the specimen is more often than not both horny AND ugly.

"The rhino is usually found in warmer locales and can be spotted wearing either a flowered or pastel shirt (with 3 buttons opened to expose a mature mane of chest hair) tucked into khaki shorts and sporting boat shoes. --"Also look for horrendous dance moves, a white man's overbite, male pattern baldness and a penchant for picking up the bar tab." (Herald Sun)


GUYS ACTUALLY PREFER WOMEN WITH *SHORTER* LEGS:

You probably assume that guys prefer tall woman with LONG LEGS. But according to a new study from the University of Westminster in London, that's not the case. Listen to this . . . --Researchers asked more than 1,000 men to look at photos of different female body types, and to rate them in terms of attractiveness.

Along with the original pictures, the researchers also mixed in photos that had been altered so a woman's overall height stayed the same, but the length of her legs were slightly shortened or lengthened. --What they found is that if given a choice, men will rate a woman more attractive in a photo where her legs are slightly shorter and more proportionate to her overall height. --In other words, guys actually prefer women with shorter legs. (Daily Telegraph)


NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) Here's a slide show of kids posing with "Sketchy Santas" . . . accompanied by the worst rendition of "O Holy Night" you've ever heard. http://vimeo.com/8088486(Search Terms: "Sketchy Santa" vimeo.com)

#2.) On Friday, SARAH PALIN made a surprise appearance on "The Tonight Show". First, WILLIAM SHATNER read passages from Palin's autobiography . . . then Palin walked on stage and read from Shatner's autobiography. (--Palin arrives at 1:46.)http://www.tmz.com/2009/12/12/sarah-palin-william-shatner-tonight-show-going-rogue-video/(Search Terms: Sarah Palin William Shatner "Tonight Show")

FIVE WAYS TO PREPARE YOUR CAR FOR WINTER:

The first official day of winter is a week away, but it already FEELS like winter. So even if you think your car is running fine, you should get it checked out before it's too late. Because breaking down in cold weather stinks. . . and it can be dangerous. --Here are five ways to get your car ready . . .

#1.) CHECK YOUR OIL. You only need to get your oil changed once every three to four months. So if you do it now, you probably won't have to do it again until Spring. Plus, there are certain types of oil that can help your car run better in harsh conditions.

#2.) CHECK YOUR TIRES. If they're bald, you're asking for trouble. One little patch of ice can mean a serious car crash. Plus, if you hit a pothole with old tires on your car, it can damage the rims. Replacing your tires NOW is much cheaper.

#3.) CHECK YOUR DEFROSTER AND YOUR HEATER. Make sure it's running as well as possible. That way you won't have to wait as long for your car to warm up in the mornings.

#4.) CHECK YOUR BRAKES. Being able to stop quickly is always important, but it's CRUCIAL in the wintertime.

#5.) PACK THE ESSENTIALS. In case of an emergency, here's the stuff you should have in your car at all times: jumper cables, a spare, a jack, gloves, a blanket, an ice scraper, a flashlight, snacks, bottled water, and a first aid kit. (Quizzle.com)