January 14, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

TIGER WOODS HAS LOST HIS GENERAL MOTORS ENDORSEMENT:

General Motors has become the latest TIGER WOODS sponsor to abandon ship. (--Hopefully, Tiger got his Escalade windows fixed for free before they pulled the plug.) --Of course, GM is trying to feed us that line that they'd already agreed to sever ties with Tiger BEFORE he wrapped one of their SUVs around a tree. --Supposedly, Tiger's official endorsement contract with GM ended in 2008. But they kept providing him with free vehicles in exchange for the publicity. (--Can you say, "Careful what you wish for???") --A GM spokeswoman says THAT deal ended on December 31st . . . a date that was agreed on long before Tiger's descent into the WHORE ZONE became public knowledge. (--The cynical take on this is that GM would have kept this little deal with Tiger going if he hadn't gotten himself into all this trouble. But because they had that end date, it was an easy out. And I'm inclined to believe that.) (--But on the other hand, with the economy the way it is, there's a chance GM really DID intend to cut Tiger loose on the 31st, because they couldn't justify that expense.)

BROOKE MUELLER MOVED BACK INTO THE SHEEN HOME . . . SO CHARLIE HAD TO MOVE OUT:

CHARLIE SHEEN and BROOKE MUELLER are committed to getting back together and making their marriage work. But until a judge lifts the protection order against Charlie, that can't happen. --Which is why Charlie had to move OUT of his Los Angeles home Tuesday night, when Brooke and the kids returned from Aspen and moved back in. --Charlie and Brooke have a hearing in Colorado next Wednesday, at which they hope the court will allow them to resume living together. --Until then, Charlie is said to be staying with, quote, "one of his very close friends in Los Angeles." (--Until Tuesday, Brooke had been staying at the rental home in Aspen where Charlie allegedly held a knife to her throat and threatened her life on Christmas Day.)


TEDDY PENDERGRASS HAS DIED:

R&B legend TEDDY PENDERGRASS passed away yesterday at a hospital in suburban Philadelphia. He was 59. --There's no word on the exact cause of death, but Teddy's son said Teddy had undergone colon cancer surgery eight months ago, and had, quote, "a difficult recovery." --Pendergrass started out as a member of Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes, which scored a hit with "If You Don't Know Me By Now". --As a solo artist in the '70s and '80s, he recorded such classics as "Love T.K.O.", "Close the Door", "I Don't Love You Anymore" and "Turn Off the Lights". --Pendergrass was paralyzed from the waist down in a 1982 car accident. He remained in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.


"DEXTER" STAR MICHAEL C. HALL HAS CANCER:

MICHAEL C. HALL . . . the star of the Showtime series "Dexter" . . . announced yesterday that he has Hodgkin's lymphoma, which is a form of cancer. --It's not clear when he was diagnosed, but Hall says it was caught early, he's already been treated and he's in remission. --He says, quote, "I feel fortunate to have been diagnosed with an imminently treatable and curable condition, and I thank my doctors and nurses for their expertise and care." --Hall . . . who's 38 . . . will be at the "Golden Globes" this Sunday night. He's up for a Best Actor award.


JAY-Z AND BEYONCÉ ARE HOLLYWOOD'S TOP-EARNING COUPLE:

JAY-Z and BEYONCÉ are Hollywood's Top-Earning Couple, according to a new list released yesterday by "Forbes" magazine. --Between June of 2008 and June of 2009, they pulled in a combined $122 million. That's $87 million from Beyoncé and $35 million from Jay. --Indiana-frickin'-Jones continues to be a huge factor in these stupid "Forbes" lists. Because coming in at a distant second are HARRISON FORD and CALISTA FLOCKHART. --They made $69 million . . . and $65 million of it came from Harrison, and the blood money he earned from "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull".
#1.) JAY-Z and BEYONCÉ . . . $122 million
#2.) HARRISON FORD and CALISTA FLOCKHART . . . $69 million
#3.) BRAD PITT and ANGELINA JOLIE . . . $55 million
#4.) WILL SMITH and JADA PINKETT . . . $48 million
#5.) DAVID and VICTORIA BECKHAM . . . $46 million
#6.) ELLEN DEGENERES and PORTIA DE ROSSI . . . $36 million

#7.) TOM HANKS and RITA WILSON . . . $35.5 million

#8.) JIM CARREY and JENNY MCCARTHY . . . $34 million
#9.) TOM CRUISE and KATIE HOLMES . . . $33.5 million
#10.) CHRIS MARTIN and GWYNETH PALTROW . . . $33 million

RIHANNA SAYS THERE WERE WARNING SIGNS THAT CHRIS BROWN COULD BE ABUSIVE:

In a new interview with "W" magazine, RIHANNA says there were warning signs that CHRIS BROWN might turn physically abusive. --She says, quote, "There were control issues, insecurity. When people are insecure they become very controlling and they can get very aggressive and in turn abusive. It doesn't have to be physical. --"Like they would say bad stuff to you to make you feel lesser than them just so they would have control in the relationship. It takes a big toll on your emotions and on your everyday life. It changes you." --She also admits she got stir crazy trying to seclude herself after he assaulted her . . . quote, "I started to go crazy after about a month in the house, so I went back to work, and the mic was my therapist. --"With the mic, there were no negative comments, no negative energy. At first I completely shut down. --"But now I feel like this happened to me so I could be a voice for young girls who are going through what I went through and don't know how to talk about it. It's not about Chris, about hurting him or sabotaging his career. I don't care about that part of it."


POLICE RESPONDED TO A POSSIBLE HOSTAGE SITUATION AT HEIDI MONTAG'S HOUSE . . . BUT IT WAS JUST A MISUNDERSTANDING:

The LAPD responded to a potential kidnapping or hostage situation at the home of reality idiots HEIDI MONTAG and SPENCER PRATT. Sadly, it was all just a misunderstanding. --What happened was that a neighbor called 911 after seeing a woman being rushed into the house with what looked like a pillowcase over her head. --Police showed up in force. Streets were blocked off, cops surrounded the house with guns drawn and there was even a helicopter overhead, with an officer inside shouting from a loudspeaker, quote, "Man in the black shirt. Come out of the house." --Police eventually DID get the supposed kidnapper out of the house. They questioned him and determined he was just one of Spencer's employees. --As for a woman being rushed into the house with a pillowcase over her head, that was indeed Heidi . . . but it wasn't a pillowcase. --Heidi issued a statement saying, quote, "We're grateful this was only a false alarm and I just had my pink Hermes scarf over me. A neighbor was concerned and called the police. We're thankful to the LAPD for their response and making sure we were safe."


BRAD & ANGELINA

BRAD PITT and ANGELINA JOLIE have donated $1 million to Doctors Without Borders, for their efforts to provide emergency medical services in the wake of that huge earthquake in Haiti. --They also issued a statement saying, quote, "We will work closely with our good friend WYCLEF JEAN to support the humanitarian efforts on the island and help those who have been injured and left without homes and shelter."


CONAN'S CONTRACT MAY NOT HAVE GUARANTEED A TIMESLOT:

So-called "sources" tell TMZ that CONAN O'BRIEN has met with NBC executives, possibly to negotiate a settlement of his alleged five-year, $80 million contract. --Assuming Conan is leaving the network, you'd think that he'd be in a good position in those negotiations, considering how royally he's been screwed by NBC. But it turns out he might not be holding all the aces. --TMZ's "sources" say that Conan's contract does NOT guarantee a particular timeslot, only that he'd be the host of "The Tonight Show". And NBC isn't taking "Tonight" away from him, per se. They're just asking him to move the show to 12:05. --It may seem strange that Conan's people didn't have a timeslot specified . . . considering all the chaos created when Jay decided he didn't want to retire . . . but as far as we know, this is a deal that was signed six years ago. --Obviously, if Conan leaves and NBC did not break the WRITTEN terms of their agreement, it could be difficult for him to get some of that money. --But supposedly, Conan's people will argue that "The Tonight Show's" 11:35 P.M. timeslot is IMPLIED. (--Just to be clear, there's no official word that Conan is leaving NBC . . . yet. In his statement, Conan said that he'd like to, quote "resolve" things with the network, but vowed that he will NOT host the "Tonight Show" in a later timeslot.)

COULD NBC BE LEFT WITHOUT CONAN O'BRIEN *AND* JAY LENO???

At this point, it appears likely that CONAN O'BRIEN and NBC will part ways . . . because their love affair with JAY LENO shattered Conan's childhood dreams of hosting "The Tonight Show". (--THE "Tonight Show" . . . not A "Tonight Show".) --But now, there's talk that NBC could end up losing BOTH of them. --The website PopEater.com claims "sources close to Jay" have told them that Jay is, quote, "furious" with the way NBC is handling this mess, and is considering walking away himself. --And a so-called "TV insider" backs that up, telling the site, quote, "Now that Conan has made it clear he is leaving the troubled network, Jay is considering doing the same. They have put Jay in a terrible position. --"It looks like he is the reason that Conan is now without a job. Jay is a great guy and it's not fair that due to NBC's stupidity he looks like the bad guy. --"Plus, what happens when Jay does return to the 11:35 slot if his audience doesn't immediately follow? How can he possibly trust the same network that canceled Conan after only seven months?"


CHECK OUT CONAN'S *CLASSIC* DIG ON JAY LENO FROM LAST NIGHT'S "TONIGHT SHOW":

On "The Tonight Show" last night, CONAN O'BRIEN continued to use his monologue to joke about being shafted by NBC. And he also got a CLASSIC dig on JAY LENO in the process. --His best one was, quote, "Hosting 'The Tonight Show' has been the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for me . . . and I just want to say to the kids out there watching: You can do anything you want in life. Unless Jay Leno wants to do it too." --He also said, quote, "I'm Conan O'Brien and I've been practicing the phrase: 'Who ordered the mochaccino grande?'" (--Here's a clip . . .) http://www.eonline.com/videos/v49208_conan-obrien-keeps-it-positive.html

--- NBC's late-night madness has been a catastrophe, but at least one good thing is coming out of it: Ratings for all three shows . . . "The Jay Leno Show", "The Tonight Show", and "Late Night with Jimmy Fallon" . . . have been UP. --Earlier this week, Jay's audience jumped from 4.8 million viewers to 6.1 million viewers. Conan and Jimmy's overnight ratings are also up, however the exact number of viewers for this week's late-night shows won't be released until next Friday.


TLC ISN'T TALKING ABOUT KATE GOSSELIN'S NEW SHOW YET:

Some unofficial details about KATE GOSSELIN'S upcoming TLC reality show popped up at the website TheWrap.com, but TLC isn't confirming anything yet. --According to the site, a so-called "production source" said the show . . . which is still untitled . . . would be about Kate, quote, "trying different jobs and tasks and showing how she performs in the different environments." --The source added, quote, "It's more like Kate Gosselin, firefighter . . . not Kate Gosselin, wife and homemaker." (--The show is NOT expected to feature the kids.) --In a statement, TLC said, quote, "This is just the latest speculation from supposed sources. We are still in development and looking at a number of ideas. When we have determined what the show will be, you will hear directly from us."


A LOT OF CELEBRITIES WANT SIMON COWELL'S JOB:

It doesn't sound like "American Idol" will have a difficult time finding celebrities interested in taking over for SIMON COWELL next season. "Idol" creator SIMON FULLER says, quote, "A day doesn't pass that I don't get a call from an agent of a superstar saying, 'Can we talk?' Everyone's interested, and that's going to go on month after month." (--Naturally, he didn't mention any names.)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

A TV SHOW IS LOOKING FOR TERMINALLY ILL VOLUNTEERS TO BECOME EGYPTIAN MUMMIES:

If you're terminally ill and interested in becoming a permanent museum display, there's a new TV show for you. --A production company in England called Fulcrum TV is working on a documentary for the British network Channel 4 . . . where you can be mummified on TV. --Their ad looking for volunteers reads, quote, "We are currently keen to talk to someone who, faced with the knowledge of their own terminal illness and all that it entails, would nonetheless consider undergoing the process of an ancient Egyptian embalming." --The Egyptians mummified people to preserve their body for the journey to the afterlife. So basically, the show is about an English scientist who figured out how the Egyptians got so good at it . . . and he wants to recreate it on TV. --The idea behind it is to challenge taboos about how we deal with death. And the network that wants to air it has already put on some controversial stuff with that theme . . . like a televised autopsy, and an on-screen assisted suicide. --In other words, this is probably going to happen.--Before you sign up, you should know what you're in for . . .--Here's how the Egyptians did it anyway: First they cut the body open and removed all the organs . . . except for the heart and kidneys . . . and dried them, wrapped them, and placed them in jars. --Then they removed the brain by inserting a hook through a nostril, and pulling it out through the nose. ---Finally, bags of salt were placed in and around the body for 40 days, until it was dried out. Then they cleaned it with oils, and wrapped it in bandages. And there you have it: Mummy. --Before you rush to sign up, there are a few other rules: You wouldn't get paid, and the film crew would follow you around before you die, so, quote, "the viewers get to know you and have a proper emotional response to you."--Oh, and the researchers behind the show would get to keep your body for two or three years, to see how the mummification process worked. Then you could have a funeral . . . or if you want, become part of a museum display. (--Any takers?)(The Mail)


A BUS DRIVER IN OKLAHOMA LEFT A LITTLE GIRL STRANDED AT THE BUS STOP WITH HER TONGUE FROZEN TO A POLE:

Okay, kids . . . here's the deal. If someone dares you to stick your tongue to a frozen pole . . . or any other piece of frozen metal . . . DON'T DO IT. Your tongue will get stuck, and everyone will make fun of you. --Unfortunately, Maranda Byrd learned that lesson the hard way. She's a fifth-grader from Spiro, Oklahoma (--in the eastern part of the state near the Arkansas border). --On Friday, she was at the bus stop when her brother Dillon dared her to put her tongue on a frozen pole. So she did. And it got stuck. --The school bus showed up a few minutes later. But after her brothers got on, the unidentified bus driver just took off and left Maranda stuck to the pole. --Eventually, Maranda was able to free her tongue by chewing away at the ice on the pole. Then she walked to school. --For what it's worth, school officials say they held a meeting with all their bus drivers to discuss the situation. But Maranda's bus driver, who's also a science teacher at the school, will be allowed to keep her route. --Maranda took some antibiotics and she's going to be fine. (KFSM News 5 - Fort Smith)


THE AVERAGE AMERICAN FAMILY SPENDS MORE THAN A QUARTER OF ITS BUDGET ON HOUSING COSTS:

If you always seem to be light on cash, listen up. We dug up some statistics from the Bureau of Labor to find out how people spend their money. Maybe you'll see where you're going wrong . . .
--Based on the average pre-tax income of $63,563 a year, a typical family spends:
--$17,109 . . . or 26.9% . . . on housing costs.--$8,604 . . . or 13.5% . . . on transportation. --$3,744 . . . or 5.8% . . . on food at home.--$2,668 . . . or 4.19% . . . on eating out.--$2,976 . . . or 4.6% . . . on health care.--$2,835 . . . or 4.4% . . . on entertainment.--And $1,801 . . . or 2.8% . . . on clothes and other "services."--That leaves less than 38% . . . or about $24,000 . . . unaccounted for. Most of which The Man will help himself to. Leaving you with about 35 CENTS in your pocket. (Yahoo Shine (--I see you're doing just about as well as I am. Somehow, that's both reassuring and really, really depressing at the same time.)


IT TURNS OUT THERE'S A "SCIENTIFIC" REASON WHY YOU PREFER WEEKENDS TO WEEKDAYS . . . SORT OF:

It never ceases to amaze me all the pointless "academic" studies that somehow manage to get federal funding. --For example, researchers from the University of Rochester in New York wanted to find out whether people prefer WEEKENDS or WEEKDAYS. --So they sent text messages to a group of test subjects at random times of the day . . . and random days of the week . . . asking them how they felt at that exact moment. --What they found is that people prefer weekends to weekdays for two reasons. --According to the study's lead author, a guy named Richard Ryan, the reasons are, quote, "autonomy and relatedness. There's more connection with other people and more self-direction. --"Wherever you don't have autonomy or don't feel relatedness, your wellbeing will be lower." --Put another way, people like weekends because they don't have to go to work, and they get to hang out with their friends and family. (--And there you have it . . . YOUR tax dollars at work.) (USA Today)


WOMEN HATE BEING OGLED BY MEN . . . BUT THEY DON'T MIND WHEN OTHER WOMEN CHECK THEM OUT:

Don't get me wrong . . . I love women. But I will NEVER understand them, not in a million years. Here's what I'm talking about . . . --Recently, a team of American and Israeli psychologists conducted a study to see how men and women react when members of the opposite sex ogle their bodies. They reached three conclusions:
#1.) When a woman feels like a man is only focusing on her body, she'll become uncomfortable, clam up, and stop talking to the guy.
#2.) Men have absolutely no problem with their bodies being ogled by women. And . . .
#3.) Women don't have a problem with being ogled either . . . so long as it's ANOTHER WOMAN that's checking them out. (???)--A woman named Tamar Saguy led the study. She says that when guys ogle women, they're treating them as, quote, "depersonalized objects of desire instead of as individuals with complex personalities," and that makes them uncomfortable. --But, for some reason, they don't feel like "depersonalized objects of desire" when other women treat them the exact same way. (Science Blogs)


INTRODUCING THE "SARCASM MARK":

Have you ever noticed how things like tone and sarcasm don't always translate when you're writing an email, or posting a tongue-in-cheek response to someone's Facebook status update? I have and my sarcastic remarks have been misinterpreted and gotten me into trouble more times than I can count. Which is why THIS is such a good idea . . . --Recently, a company in Michigan called Sarcasm Inc. introduced a new type of PUNCTUATION for your computer called the "sarcasm mark" . . . or SarcMark for short. http://sarcmark.com/


YOU CAN HAVE PUNXSUTAWNEY PHIL TEXT YOU HIS GROUNDHOG'S DAY PREDICTION:

Groundhog's Day is right around the corner. If you're into that sort of thing . . . and I know you totally ARE . . . you can have Punxsutawney Phil text you his weather prediction as soon as he makes it. --If for some reason you're not familiar with Punxsutawney Phil, he's the "famous" groundhog from Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, whose "prediction" officially determines if spring will come early, or if there will be six more weeks of winter. --All you have to do is text the word "groundhog" to 247365, and they'll hook you up with Phil's prediction. Or you could just turn on the TV, since every media outlet in the country is bound to be covering this nonsense. --Or you could just ignore it altogether since . . . you know . . . it's a pointless waste of time. (Yahoo News)


NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) This surveillance video captured the 7.0-magnitude earthquake in Haiti and shows a row of houses collapsing. (--The earthquake starts around :14.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXHopCrs46U(Search Terms: Haiti earthquake caught on tape)

#2.) After the earthquake struck Haiti on Tuesday, this ominous cloud of dust and smoke covered the capital city of Port-au-Prince for 20 minutes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU8TzgMHzG4(Search Terms: raw video Haiti earthquake leaves town in dust)

#3.) This parody features "leaked" voicemail messages that NBC President JEFF ZUCKER left for CONAN O'BRIEN.http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/216365ffd6/leaked-nbc-ceo-jeff-zucker-s-vociemails-for-conan-o-brien?rel=player/(Search Terms: FunnyOrDie.com leaked NBC Conan Jeff Zucker voicemails)

#4.) In case you missed Tuesday's episode of "Lopez Tonight", JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT told him that she likes to "BeDazzle" her vajayjay with jewels . . . seriously. (--She starts talking about it at 2:40.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvzhvKm_15k(Search Terms: Jennifer Love Hewitt "Lopez Tonight" BeDazzles)

#5.) Here's an angry rooster . . . accompanied by death metal music.http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1927585(Search Terms: "Death Metal Rooster")

FIVE SLEEP DISORDERS YOU MIGHT NOT REALIZE YOU HAVE:

If it takes you more than 30 minutes to fall asleep, then technically you have insomnia. Don't worry, it's common. In fact, one in three of us will deal with it at some point in our lifetime. --But sometimes that's not the only thing going on. In 75% of cases, there's ANOTHER health issue. So here's "Self" magazine's list of five things that might be keeping you awake . . .

#1.) RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME. Symptoms include tingling or cramping in your calves, thighs, feet, or even your ARMS. Some people say it feels like they have to stretch their muscles, but even after they do, it doesn't feel any better. --Experts think antihistamines and iron deficiencies can trigger it, but they're not sure. In mild cases, hot baths, massages, and regular exercise can help. But some people need medication. So see your doctor if you think you have it.

#2.) A SLEEP-RELATED EATING DISORDER. It's like sleepwalking, plus eating. Believe it or not, "sleep eaters" get up in the middle of the night and chow down without waking up. And they only know about it because they find crumbs the next morning. --Some sufferers just don't keep a ton of food in the house. But in severe cases, doctors prescribe medications that are usually used to treat SCHIZOPHRENIA.

#3.) SLEEP APNEA. You've heard of it, but you might not know exactly what it is. Sleep apnea is when the muscles and soft tissue in your throat relax and block your airway. Then when blood oxygen levels dip too low, your brain wakes you up. -Snoring and fatigue are the two major symptoms, but not all snoring is bad. So if you think you might have sleep apnea, go see a specialist.

#4.) ANXIETY. It's closely linked to insomnia. A LITTLE anxiety is normal, but some people wake up in the middle of the night with their HEART racing and TEARS streaming down their face. Luckily, things like yoga and anti-anxiety pills can help.

#5.) NARCOLEPSY. People with narcolepsy can fall asleep anywhere: on the phone, in the bathtub, even behind the wheel. If you have it, you probably know. But not definitely. --A lot of people are diagnosed late in life, even though they started having symptoms when they were kids. (Self Magazine)