February 2, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

RIP TORN IS HEADED TO REHAB:

78-year-old alcoholic RIP TORN is headed to a Manhattan rehab clinic. (--He might already be there.) --Torn broke a window to gain entry to a bank in his hometown of Salisbury, Connecticut Friday night. --Police responding to the bank alarm found him highly intoxicated and wandering around the bank . . . (--not lying on the ground, as we had originally heard.) --He had taken off his hat and shoes and placed them next to the broken window. He had a loaded gun . . . and his fly was down. (--True . . . and sad.) --Police say his blood-alcohol level was .203% . . . which is almost THREE TIMES the legal driving limit. --After they removed him from the bank, police say Torn kept asking them, quote, "why we took him out of his house." --Torn was brought to court in shackles yesterday morning for his arraignment on charges of possession of a firearm while intoxicated, possession of a firearm without a permit, trespassing, burglary and criminal mischief. --His arraignment was continued to February 17th, so he never entered a plea. --Torn's attorney is backing up what the cops say . . . that Torn was so drunk he thought he was in his own house. He added, quote, "Obviously, [Torn] wasn't there intending to commit a crime." --He also said Torn never pointed the gun or held it in a threatening manner.(--Here's video of Rip Torn being taken to the courthouse in handcuffs . . . and then leaving after posting his $100,000 bail . . .)http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=28b45e47-c65e-4dde-93ea-23413f5604fd


ENJOY VIDEO OF NICK NOLTE RUMMAGING THROUGH GARBAGE CANS AND DUMPSTERS, LOOKING FOR XANAX AND BEER . . . WHAT???

A paparazzi scumbag from RadarOnline.com happened to be following NICK NOLTE around in Venice, California last Wednesday . . . as Nick went on a most interesting adventure. --It seems that Nick lost a bag . . . and he was looking for it in garbage cans and dumpsters. --What was in that bag??? Apparently, Xanax and beer. --Nick told the photographer, quote, "Somebody's probably swallowed a bottle of Xanax by now. And they've probably had a beer or two. (--The video is pretty bizarre . . . and very much worth watching. Check it out here . . .)http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/02/exclusive-video-nick-noltes-bizarre-behavior-searching-through-trash-cans


CAN KIM KARDASHIAN EARN $10,000 FOR A SINGLE TWEET???

"Advertising Age" magazine says that KIM KARDASHIAN is partnered up with an online advertising company called Ad.ly . . . in a deal that can earn her $10,000 for a single Tweet.--Here's how it works: If Kim posts a Tweet mentioning a product that Ad.ly is repping, they pay her 10-grand. But she can only do it once a day. --Still, one Tweet per day, every day for a year, would net Kim $3,650,000. --Kim has 2.7 million followers on Twitter . . . which is why it's a good deal to have your product mentioned in her Tweets. And according to Fox News, Kim drops a lot of name brands. --It's not clear if Kim is actually doing this. But when reached for comment, she said that all her Twitter product mentions come from the heart. --She said, quote, "I want my fans to know what products, gadgets, foods, clothes and beauty products I like and I love sharing all that with my fans."


#1.) CBS rejected a Super Bowl ad for the video game "Dante's Inferno", because it ended with the game's tag line, "Go to Hell".--But CBS ended up approving an identical version of the ad, in which "Go To Hell" is replaced with the words "Hell Awaits". (--Check out the original ad here) http://video.hollywoodreporter.com/services/player/bcpid43169542001?bctid=64403034001

LADY GAGA, EMINEM AND JAY-Z ARE PART OF THE "WE ARE THE WORLD" REMAKE:

LADY GAGA, EMINEM and JAY-Z joined up with a ton of other artists last night to re-record "We Are the World" for earthquake relief in Haiti. --The official list of participants hasn't been released . . . but that hasn't stopped many of the names from leaking. Here are the ones we know of . . .
--AKON--JASON MRAZ--BONO--WYCLEF JEAN--CARLOS SANTANA--ENRIQUE IGLESIAS--USHER--MILEY CYRUS--TONI BRAXTON--JENNIFER HUDSON--JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE--BARBRA STREISAND--CELINE DION--FERGIE--SUGARLAND--NATALIE COLE--JOHN LEGEND--The whole thing was organized by QUINCY JONES and LIONEL RICHIE. --Lionel wrote "We Are the World" with MICHAEL JACKSON, and Quincy produced the original version . . . which was recorded 25 years ago in the same studio where yesterday's action took place.


SANDRA BULLOCK IS UP FOR TWO GOLDEN RASPBERRY AWARDS . . . INCLUDING WORST ACTRESS:

SANDRA BULLOCK was nominated for a Golden Globe for "The Proposal". And she won both a Globe and a Screen Actors Guild Award for "The Blind Side". When you tally up the box office numbers and critical acclaim, this is easily Sandra's best year. --And she'll probably get an Oscar nomination this morning. (--Nominations are being handed out at 8:30 A.M.) --But here's the flip side . . . The Golden Raspberry Award nominations were handed out yesterday, and Sandra got two of them. --But it wasn't for either of those two movies. Sandra is up for Worst Actress for "All About Steve" . . . and she and her co-star, BRADLEY COOPER, are up for Worst Screen Couple. (--In other words, there's a chance . . . a totally outside chance yes, but still a chance . . . that an actor or actress could win both the Oscar and the Razzie in the same year. It would be the first time that ever happened.) (--HALLE BERRY has won a Best Actress Oscar for "Monster's Ball" and a Worst Actress Razzie for "Catwoman" . . . but her wins were three years apart.) --Sandra will be battling Miley Cyrus, Beyoncé, Megan Fox and Sarah Jessica Parker for Worst Actress --The Worst Actor nominees are Will Ferrell, Eddie Murphy, John Travolta, Steve Martin and all three Jonas Brothers. --"All About Steve", "G.I. Joe", "Land of the Lost", "Old Dogs" and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" are all up for Worst Picture. --"Land of the Lost" and "Transformers" are the most "decorated" movies of the year . . . with SEVEN Razzie nominations each. --This year, the Razzies are also handing out awards for the Worst Actor, Actress and Picture of the DECADE. --Picture nominees are "Battlefield Earth", "Freddy Got Fingered", "I Know Who Killed Me", "Swept Away" and "Gigli". --The Razzies will be handed out on March 6th . . . the night before the Oscars.(--The complete list of nominees begins on the following page . . .)

WORST PICTURE: --"All About Steve"--"G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"--"Land of the Lost"--"Old Dogs "--"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

WORST ACTOR:--All Three Jonas Brothers, "Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience"--Will Ferrell, "Land of the Lost"--Steve Martin, "Pink Panther 2"--Eddie Murphy, "Imagine That"--John Travolta, "Old Dogs"

WORST ACTRESS:--Beyoncé, "Obsessed"--Sandra Bullock, "All About Steve"--Miley Cyrus, "Hannah Montana: The Movie"--Megan Fox, "Jennifer's Body" and "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"--Sarah Jessica Parker, "Did You Hear About the Morgans?"

WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR:--Billy Ray Cyrus, "Hannah Montana: The Movie"--Hugh Hefner, "Miss March" (--Hugh, by the way, was playing HIMSELF.)--Robert Pattinson, "Twilight Saga: New Moon"--Jorma Taccone, "Land of the Lost"--Marlon Wayans, "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"

WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:--Candice Bergen, "Bride Wars"--Ali Larter, "Obsessed"--Sienna Miller, "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"--Kelly Preston, "Old Dogs"--Julie White, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"

WORST SCREEN COUPLE:--Any Two (or More) Jonas Brothers, "Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience"--Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper, "All About Steve"--Will Ferrell and Any Costar, Creature or "Comic Riff," "Land of the Lost"--Shia LeBeouf and Either Megan Fox or Any Transformer, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"--Kristen Stewart and Either Robert Pattinson or Taylor Lautner, "Twilight Saga: New Moon"

WORST DIRECTOR:--Michael Bay, "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"--Walt Becker, "Old Dogs"--Brad Silberling, "Land of the Lost"--Stephen Sommers, "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"--Phil Traill, "All About Steve"

WORST PICTURE OF THE DECADE:--"Battlefield Earth" (2000)--"Freddy Got Fingered" (2001)--"Gigli" (2003)--"I Know Who Killed Me" (2007)--"Swept Away" (2002)

WORST ACTOR OF THE DECADE: --Ben Affleck, "Daredevil", "Gigli", "Jersey Girl", "Paycheck", "Pearl Harbor", "Surviving Christmas"--Eddie Murphy, "Adventures of Pluto Nash", "I Spy", "Imagine That", "Meet Dave", "Norbit", "Showtime"--Mike Meyers, "Cat in the Hat", "The Love Guru"--Rob Schneider, "The Animal", "Benchwarmers", "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo", "Grandma's Boy", "The Hot Chick", "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry", "Little Man", "Little Nicky"--John Travolta, "Battlefield Earth", "Domestic Disturbance", "Lucky Numbers", "Old Dogs", "Swordfish"

WORST ACTRESS OF THE DECADE: --Mariah Carey, "Glitter"--Paris Hilton, "The Hottie & the Nottie", "House of Wax", "Repo: The Genetic Opera"--Lindsay Lohan, "Herbie: Fully Loaded", "I Know Who Killed Me", "Just My Luck"--Jennifer Lopez, "Angel Eyes", "Enough", "Gigli", "Jersey Girl", "Maid in Manhattan", "Monster-In-Law", "The Wedding Planner"--Madonna, "Die Another Day", "The Next Best Thing", "Swept Away"

MATT DAMON SAYS THERE WILL BE A "BOURNE" PREQUEL . . . WITHOUT HIM:

If you're hoping to see MATT DAMON in another "Bourne" movie, you're going to have to wait a while. --There probably WILL be another "Bourne" flick in the near future, but Damon won't be in it . . . because it'll be a PREQUEL, with a younger actor playing Jason Bourne. --Damon says it'll probably be at least FIVE YEARS before he and director Paul Greengrass do another sequel. --He says, quote, "There'll probably be a prequel of some kind with another actor and another director before we do another one."

CONAN O'BRIEN IS PAYING SOME STAFFERS OUT OF HIS OWN POCKET:

JAY LENO probably won't like this, but CONAN O'BRIEN is doing something that makes him look even MORE like a hero. --See, the $7.5 million that NBC agreed to pay Conan's staff didn't cover about 50 of his stagehands. So Conan is stepping up and paying them out of his own pocket. He's giving them at least six weeks' severance pay. There's no word how much that comes out to.


CBS TOTALLY OVER-CENSORED THE LIL WAYNE / EMINEM / DRAKE GRAMMY PERFORMANCE:

Did you see the Grammy performance featuring Lil Wayne, Eminem, Drake and Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker on Sunday night??? If so, then you know that CBS edited the crap out of it. --Seriously . . . it almost felt like there was more SILENCE than audio. --But here's the funny thing: There was almost NO SWEARING WHATSOEVER during that performance. --Yes, the songs they were singing . . . "Drop the World" and "Forever" . . . are LACED with profanity. But on the Grammy stage, the guys were skipping all the bad words themselves. (--Check out the UNCENSORED clip. But BE WARNED!!! Lil Wayne does drop one N-Word at about the 46-second mark . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq4UUdLGXTs--If you're wondering what curse words these guys were supposed to be saying, "New York" magazine has posted a transcript of all the potential trouble spots along with the video of the censored version of the performance. (--Check it out here . . .)http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2010/02/eminem_lil_wayne_and_drake_get.html--Meanwhile . . . an estimated 25.8 million viewers watched the Grammy Awards on Sunday night, which was its biggest audience in six years. (--2004's ceremony attracted 26.3 million viewers.) It was up 35% from last year, when 19.1 million people tuned in.


#1.) Next month, there will be a same-sex kiss on "Desperate Housewives" . . . between DANA DELANY'S character, Katharine, and a new character that will be played by guest star JULIE BENZ. (--She'll be playing a stripper named Robin.) --It's not clear yet how the kiss will affect Katherine's storyline. There's no specific airdate yet. For now, Julie Benz is signed on to appear in four episodes.

#2.) ABC Family is developing a new sitcom starring former child stars MELISSA JOAN HART and JOEY LAWRENCE. (--Melissa did "Clarissa Explains It All" and "Sabrina the Teenage Witch". Joey did "Gimme a Break!" and "Blossom".) --Here's what we know: It'll be called "Melissa and Joey". Melissa will be playing a, quote, "local politician struggling to raise her niece and nephew who hires [Joey] as her 'manny.'" It'll premiere sometime this year.


#3.) The latest word out of the GRIPPING "Jersey Shore" contract negotiations . . . which are apparently over now . . . is that Angelina didn't receive a GUARANTEED contract like the rest of the cast. --Instead, she just got a "holding deal." That means she was paid a certain amount to keep her schedule open if MTV decides to include her in the second season. So she could be signed to a salaried deal later, or she could be outright dumped.


#4.) Doctors performed a 12-HOUR emergency surgery on "Deadliest Catch" star PHIL HARRIS . . . the captain of the Cornelia Marie . . . on Sunday night. (--Harris suffered a stroke last Friday, and had to be airlifted to the hospital.) --He was also placed in a "medically-induced coma" . . . with the hope that it will help reduce brain swelling. (--There's no further word on his condition.)


#5.) British "Office" star RICKY GERVAIS has confirmed reports that he will be doing a cameo on the American "Office". He'll play David Brent, his character from the U.K. version . . . the equivalent of STEVE CARELL'S Michael Scott. --He tells Britain's "Sun" tabloid, quote, "I think it'd be funny for Brent to walk into the U.S. 'Office' and hear them go 'Oh my God, there's two of them!' We don't need to know about Brent's back-story . . . the English 'Office' exists in a cocoon." (--There's still no official word WHEN this will be happening. But according to the last rumor we heard, it was being planned for an episode NEXT season.)


#6.) General Larry Platt . . . the dude who did "Pants on the Ground" on "American Idol" . . . performed the "song" on a commercial flight from L.A. to Atlanta yesterday morning. He did it mid-flight . . . in the aisle . . . in coach. -Platt's manager . . . yes, he has one now . . . says he did it because some of the other passengers recognized him, and "begged" him to do it. --Supposedly, the pilots and flight attendants were so STAR-STRUCK that they were still talking to him even after all of the other passengers had de-planed. (???)


NEW ON VIDEO TODAY

--"Zombieland" - A horror-comedy starring Woody Harrelson and "Cursed's" Jesse Eisenberg as two guys traveling across a zombie-infested wasteland. 13-year-old Abigail Breslin and Emma Stone, the naughty redhead from "Superbad", are sisters that they protect.

--"Amelia" - Hilary Swank plays aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart. After becoming the first woman to fly across the Atlantic, she vanished while attempting a solo flight around the world. Richard Gere plays her husband (slash) promoter . . . and Ewan McGregor plays her lover.

--"New York, I Love You" - unrelated short stories that are loosely connected by the common theme of searching for love in New York City. The cast includes Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman, Shia LaBeouf, Orlando Bloom, Christina Ricci, "Gossip Girl's" Blake Lively, "The O.C.'s" Rachel Bilson and, my new stripping obsession, Eva Amurri.

--"Adam" - "Ella Enchanted's" Hugh Dancy plays a socially awkward guy who's drawn out of his sheltered existence by his beautiful neighbor, played by "Damages" minx Rose Byrne.

--"Love Happens" - Aaron Eckhart plays a self-help author who falls in love with Jennifer Aniston while trying to get over his wife's death. Martin Sheen plays his dead wife's father.

TV SERIES ON DVD:
--"Beverly Hills, 90210: Season 9" . . . a six-disc DVD set. (--It ran for 10 seasons.)--"Murder, She Wrote: The Complete 11th Season" . . . a five-disc set. (--It ran 12 seasons.)--"The Mary Tyler Moore Show: The Complete Sixth Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set. (--It ran for seven seasons.)

NEW MUSIC OUT TODAY
--"Who I Am", NICK JONAS & THE ADMINISTRATION!!!
--"Rebirth", Lil Wayne (--Wayne's seventh disc is supposed to be his big rock debut, but it still includes plenty of rap too. Eminem guests on the track "Drop the World", which you probably watched them perform together at the Grammys.)

JACK JOHNSON IS USING SOLAR ENERGY TO RECORD HIS NEXT ALBUM:

JACK JOHNSON is hoping to have his next album out by mid-June . . . before he kicks off a summer world tour . . . but he's going to need some help from Mother Nature for that to happen. --That's because Jack is trying to record the album using ONLY SOLAR POWER. He should be OK, though . . . because he's recording the album in Hawaii. --There aren't any specific details on Jack's set-up, but last year CAKE announced that they were doing essentially the same thing. Their entire studio . . . which is located in Sacramento . . . is wired to run on solar power only.


NAUGHTY BY NATURE IS WORKING ON A NEW ALBUM:

NAUGHTY BY NATURE are planning on releasing their first album in EIGHT YEARS this spring. --TREACH tells AllHipHop.com, quote, "[We're] working on a brand new Naughty album now, it's called 'Anthem 8'. It'll be out before the summer. We got [two] singles on iTunes, 'Get to Know Me Better' and 'I Gotta Lotta'." --By the way, Treach is also working on a reality show. It's called "A Tribe Called Treach" . . . and he says it'll be about, quote, "the tribe . . . our group, production, management, movies, family life, [and] homies in the hood." (--No network has picked it up yet.)


NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

THERE'S A COUPLE IN PHILADELPHIA WHO'VE BEEN MARRIED FOR 80 YEARS:

If you've been married for 20, 30 or even 40 years, I have to give it up to you . . . that's good work. But you've still got a ways to go before you can hang with 97-year-old Mitchell Atkins and his wife, 103-year-old Mattie, of Philadelphia. --Mitchell and Mattie met in 1928 when he was just 16 and she was 22. In order to get Mattie to pay attention to him, Mitchell lied and told her he was 23 . . . and she didn't learn the truth about his age until a few months AFTER their first kid was born. --Now, they have six children, 19 grandchildren, 29 great-grandchildren and 12 great-great grandchildren. And earlier this month, Mitchell and Mattie celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary. --To put that in perspective for you, Mitchell and Mattie got married the day after the very first Mickey Mouse comic strip appeared in the "New York Mirror". And they've been married two years longer than the average American's life expectancy. --Mitchell says, quote, "She was the prettiest thing in the whole world. And she's still the loveliest." And Mattie adds, quote, "Love, love, love each other. It's beautiful, beautiful to be old and still be in love at our age." (Philadelphia Inquirer)


PRESIDENT OBAMA BOWED TO THE MAYOR OF TAMPA:

In separate incidents last year, PRESIDENT OBAMA greeted Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah and Japan's Emperor Akihito by BOWING to them. With the emperor, it made more sense since bowing is customary in Japan. --But that still doesn't explain why Obama bowed to Pam Iorio, the mayor of Tampa, when he met her last week at MacDill Air Force Base in Florida. (--Check out video of the bow here . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12YeCiAtt04(Now Public)


AMERICANS REDEEMED 3.3 BILLION COUPONS LAST YEAR:

And now, here's today's sign that the economy is still in the toilet . . . According to a recent study, Americans redeemed 3.3 BILLION coupons last year. Overall, that's up 27% from 2008. (CNN)(--If you're a coupon-clipper, here are some useful sites you may want to check out.)http://www.couponmom.com/http://thekrazycouponlady.com/http://www.coupons.com/http://www.couponcabin.com/


GOODWILL STORES IN PENNSYLVANIA WANT YOU TO DONATE YOUR EX'S STUFF THIS VALENTINE'S DAY:

After a breakup, the last thing you need is to have a bunch of your ex's stuff cluttering up your house, and reminding you of your failed relationship. --Which is why on Friday, February 12th, a bunch of Goodwill stores in Pennsylvania will be holding an Anti-Valentine's Day donation drive called the "Dump Your X's Stuff" drive. (Patriot-News)(--You can link to the full story here . . .)http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2010/02/colonial_park_goodwill_hopes_t.html--On the other hand, if you ARE planning to get some this Valentine's Day, here's a handy website called "Valentine's Day Makeout Spots." --Just go vdaymakeoutspots.com, type in your zip code, and they'll suggest local date spots. (--It's part of a promotion for the romantic comedy "Valentine's Day" that's coming out soon. But SHE doesn't need to know that.)


A GUY IN SWEDEN GOT BACK AT HIS EX BY STUFFING 19 LIVE MICE THROUGH THE MAIL SLOT OF HER FRONT DOOR:

Last Sunday morning, a 59-year-old Swedish guy decided to get revenge on his ex-wife. Because that's just how 59-year-old divorced dudes in Sweden roll. --But this Swede had a pretty badass plan compared to the average ex-husband with a revenge plot. He knew his ex-wife suffered from something called musophobia: the unreasonable and disproportionate fear of rats and mice. --So he took 19 live mice, and stuffed them one by one through the mail slot of the front door of her apartment, and took off. She freaked out and called the cops, and ended up in the hospital. --And the husband was arrested for suspicion of unlawful threats, and animal welfare offences. The mice were taken to the police station too, and now the guy wants them back. (The Local)


INTRODUCING BAG BALM . . . THE OLDEST PRODUCT YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF:

In 1899, a guy from Vermont named John L. Norris started marketing a green salve called Bag Balm. --Originally, it was meant to help soothe the udders of milking cows when they got irritated. But after noticing how it also made their hands softer, people started adding to the list of Bag Balm's uses. --Now, Bag Balm is used on dry skin, psoriasis, cracked fingers, burns, zits, diaper rash, saddle sores, sunburns, bed sores and radiation burns. And it's also used on squeaky bedsprings, pruned trees, rifles and shell casings . . . among other things. (Yahoo News)(--You can get more information about Bag Balm here . . .)http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100131/ap_on_re_us/us_bag_balm


NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) RUSH LIMBAUGH was a judge at the Miss America pageant, and he showed off some ridiculous dance moves during a judges' talent competition prior to the show. (--He starts dancing at :15.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nKr3-DNg_SA(Search Terms: Rush Limbaugh "dancing fool" "Poker Face" Miss America)

#2.) The coach of this high school girls' volleyball team gets angry at one of his players . . . so he hits her in the head with the ball.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Drq9pXKWm0Q(Search Terms: Southern High School coach Eric Maxwell throws volleyball head)

#3.) Here's the most bizarre acceptance speech ever. A Swedish singer named "Fever Ray" takes off one mask . . . to reveal an even weirder mask underneath. Then she moans into a microphone for a few seconds and leaves. (--She takes off the mask at :40.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymCP6zC_qJU(Search Terms: "Fever Ray" Karin Andersson Sweden acceptance speech)

#4.) Here's footage of a curious chimpanzee in the Congo who found a camera that was installed by researchers. http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2010/02/goualougo/goualougo-animation/curious-chimp/?rss(Search Terms: "curious chimp" Congo Goualougo Triangle National Geographic)


SEVEN THINGS TO AVOID AROUND A WOMAN WHO'S STILL SINGLE:

Single women are always being pressured to get married by their friends and family. Especially their parents. So don't add fuel to the fire. Here's a list from Oprah.com of the seven things you shouldn't do when dealing with a woman who's still single . . .

#1.) DON'T USE THE WORD "PICKY." If you tell her she's being too picky when it comes to guys, she'll take it as an insult. Plus, that's usually not the real issue.

#2.) DON'T THROW THE BOUQUET AT HER. Catching the bouquet at a wedding is fun the first time, but after that, it's embarrassing. So don't force her to do it, and don't throw a line-drive at her chest either.

#3.) DON'T TREAT HER LIKE A CHILD. Married people don't always treat single people like adults. She's single, not eleven.

#4.) DON'T QUESTION HER SEXUALITY. Just because she's single doesn't mean she's a lesbian. Kind of like how being married doesn't necessarily mean you're straight, gaywad. (???)

#5.) DON'T BE JUDGMENTAL. Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce, so don't pretend you're better than she is just because you have a ring on your finger. She doesn't want to end up in a bad marriage, which is probably one of the reasons she's still single.

#6.) DON'T RUB IT IN. There's a random statistic floating around the internet that goes like this: women over 40 have a better chance of being shot by a terrorist than making it to the altar. Obviously, that's not true. And it's especially not true these days, when even senior citizens are meeting on the Internet. See? I just 'rubbed it in.' That was bad. Don't do that.

#7.) DON'T REMIND HER SHE'S RUNNING OUT OF TIME. She's knows how her body works, and she's aware she won't be able to have kids forever. Telling her that a 74-year-old Ukrainian woman miraculously gave birth to triplets won't make her feel any better.