Friday, February 26, 2010

February 26, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW
WINTER OLYMPICS UPDATE

THE DUTCH BOBSLEDDING TEAM *QUIT* . . . BECAUSE THEY WERE SCARED OF THE COURSE:

The Dutch four-man bobsledding team had to withdraw from the Winter Olympics, because their driver refused to race down the Vancouver COURSE OF DEATH. --EDWIN VAN CALKER drove the two-man sled for the Netherlands last week and said he never felt comfortable. They finished 14th. --Yesterday he informed the Dutch coach of his decision, walked the course one more time to make sure, then announced that he didn't think he could keep the sled on the track. --He said, quote, "I have to look after my boys . . . For me, it's not about performing, it's about surviving." --The course he's talking about is the same one that caused a luger to crash and die during a practice run. --More recently, it was the scene of a scary crash by the German women's bobsledding team, which threw one woman from the sled. (--You can watch the luge and bobsled crashes at the following links . . .)http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/12/nodar-kumaritashvili-cras_n_460474.htmlhttp://www.nbcolympics.com/video/assetid=6e5f6ff1-1f78-4161-84ee-116bc58fe95c.html#german+ejected+from+bobsled+crash


A GERMAN SPEEDSKATER MISSED A RACE BECAUSE HIS CELL PHONE WAS OFF:

German speedskater PATRICK BECKERT didn't qualify for the 1,000 meter race yesterday, but he was named an alternate. Meaning he wouldn't get to compete unless someone else dropped out. -About an hour before the race, an Italian skater did just that. And Beckert would have known about it, except that his CELL PHONE WAS OFF. -So the German coaches put out an APB out on Beckert, and even called his sister Stephanie, who was getting ready for her own race. --Beckert finally checked his messages and called back 17 minutes before the race, but by then he couldn't get to the Olympic Oval in time for the start. (Yahoo) (--Forget about having your phone off, how could you be more than 17 minutes from the track at race time? You were an ALTERNATE for the race! Your only job was to be ready if they needed you.) (--Even worse, this guy was the FOURTH alternate. So the only reason officials were trying to reach him is that they couldn't find the FIRST THREE GUYS EITHER.)


A U.S. BOBSLEDDER GOT DETAINED BY POLICE AFTER ARGUING WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND:

There aren't a lot of details to this story, but here's what we know: U.S. bobsledder BILL SCHUFFENHAUER was picked up by Canadian police yesterday. --Officially, he was detained and released after a few hours of questioning. He wasn't arrested, and U.S. Bobsled officials say they don't expect him to be. --Supposedly, the investigation came about because of an argument Schuffenhauer had with his girlfriend . . . and that's all we really know. --Schuffenhauer's from Utah, and a newspaper there reported that his fiancé filed something called a "co-habitant abuse protective order" back in 2005, then withdrew it two weeks later. --As I'm sure NBC will tell us throughout the bobsled competition, Schuffenhauer grew up with two drug-addicted parents. --He was often homeless, and supposedly he found food by going through garbage cans. He also spent time in juvenile detention for breaking into a bike shop for food money. Although the shop owner later helped sponsor his Olympic training. (Deseret News, Associated Press, and Yahoo)


A CANADIAN HOCKEY ANNOUNCER SAID THE RUSSIAN TEAM PLAYED LIKE "EUROTRASH":

Russia's hockey team got blown out by Canada Wednesday night by a score of 7-3. There wasn't really anything positive to say about the Russian performance . . . and NBC hockey analyst MIKE MILBURY didn't try. --He said, quote, "I was really disappointed that these guys came with their Eurotrash game. It was just no heart, no guts, no nothing." --His broadcast partner asked, quote, "Did you really just say Eurotrash? Did that come out of your mouth?" (--You can watch the fun here at about 1:02. . . )http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/02/24/eurotrash-mike-milbury-ca_n_476043.html--The day before, Milbury criticized the German team's coach during an 8-2 loss to Canada. He said, quote, "He's asking his guys to basically be fire hydrants and they're getting peed on right now." (--You can find that here at 0:55 . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hpTVQ7R2T8 --And when he was a player, Milbury once went into the stands and beat a fan with the guy's own penny loafer. (--You can watch that here, with Milbury's commentary, starting at 2:10 . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsEXqCXycRA (Fanhouse)


WINTER OLYMPICS RESULTS
DID YOU KNOW THAT THERE ARE 59 COUNTRIES THAT HAVE *NEVER* WON A MEDAL AT THE WINTER OLYMPICS?

Even if the Winter Olympics aren't your thing, you've got to feel a certain sense of pride that our country has pretty much dominated the medals count since this thing started. So far, we've won a total of 32 medals. --That may not seem like a lot . . . until you take into consideration that there are 59 nations that have competed at the Olympics without EVER winning a medal. Here's the latest run down on our standings:
#1.) The United States with 32 medals . . . 8 Gold, 12 Silver, and 12 Bronze. #2.) Germany with 26 medals . . . 8 Gold, 11 Silver, and 7 Bronze.#3.) Norway with 19 medals . . . 7 Gold, 6 Silver, and 6 Bronze.#4.) Canada with 17 medals . . . 8 Gold, 6 Silver, and 3 Bronze.#5.) Russia with 13 medals . . . 3 Gold, 4 Silver, and 6 Bronze.


YESTERDAY'S NEW MEDALS FOR THE UNITED STATES:

U.S. Olympians won another Gold and three more Silver medals on Thursday:
--Men's Nordic Combined: Individual Long Hill, 10 km: GOLD: Bill Demong.--Men's Nordic Combined: Individual Long Hill, 10 km: SILVER: Johnny Spillane(--Nordic Combined combines ski jumping and cross-country skiing. Long Hill means they jump off a taller slope than the "normal hill" event that Spillane won silver in last week.)--Women's Ice Hockey: SILVER: Team USA. We lost to Canada 2-0.--Freestyle Skiing, Men's Aerials: SILVER: Jeret Peterson.



ANDREW KOENIG IS DEAD:

Those who feared the worst about "Growing Pains" star ANDREW KOENIG were right. Andrew's body was found in Stanley Park . . . a place Andrew often went when he visited Vancouver. He was 41. --Apparently, the body was in a heavily wooded area, which is why it wasn't found before yesterday, even though the park had already been searched more than once. --It was found by a search party made up of family and friends. --Andrew's dad, "Star Trek" actor WALTER KOENIG, was with another group searching a different part of the park at the time. --Koenig disappeared on February 16th . . . after cleaning out his Los Angeles apartment and heading for Canada. --Police suspect that he killed himself. --Walter agrees. During a news conference yesterday at the park, he said, quote, "My son took his own life." --Despite this being a difficult time for him . . . (--obviously) . . . Walter tried to use his son's death as a way to help others who might be suffering from depression like Andrew was. --He said, quote, "I have received hundreds of emails from people who said they are depressed and considering the same course of action or showed signs of the same behavior. --"The only thing I will say is if you are one of these people and feel you can't handle it anymore, I hope you learn from this. Know that there are people out there who really care. --"It may not be enough, but before you make your final decision, check it out again, talk to somebody." --Walter's wife Judith added, quote, "People don't realize there is help. Families, familiarize yourself with these signs. Don't rationalize anything away. People have shown signs of love. --"In his pain, Andrew didn't realize what was available to him. He had much love and much to contribute. This is the only statement we are going to make. Please respect our privacy."


WALTER KOENIG AND HIS WIFE BAGGED ON THEIR "LARRY KING LIVE" INTERVIEW BECAUSE LARRY KEPT BUMPING THEM BACK:

WALTER KOENIG and his wife bagged on their "Larry King Live" interview on Wednesday night because Larry kept bumping them further and further back in the lineup. --The Koenigs were supposed to talk to Larry via satellite from Vancouver, where they're searching for their missing son ANDREW. --But as the show progressed, Larry kept pushing them back. They were originally supposed to go live at 9:30 P.M. But Larry didn't get to them until 9:55. And by that time, it was too late. --Walter says, quote, "[They did not allow us] enough time to do credit to what we had to say. We felt it was disrespectful." --CNN issued the following statement yesterday . . . quote, "Our heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with them, and we hope they find their son soon." (--For the record, Walter's daughter Danielle was on "Larry King Live" on Tuesday night. So it's not like Larry is totally dissing these people.) (--At the same time, they're clearly distraught. You can't blame them for being short on patience right now.)


BRITTANY MURPHY WASN'T TAKING ILLEGAL DRUGS AND SHE WASN'T TOO SKINNY:
The Los Angeles County Coroner's Office released its final report on the death of BRITTANY MURPHY. And they cleared up two issues that have been lingering since she passed away in December. --Brittany wasn't taking illegal drugs . . . and she wasn't too skinny. --Doctors did find elevated levels of Vicodin in her system . . . as well as Prozac and drugs associated with over-the-counter cold medications. The report says, quote, "There is no history of alcohol or drug abuse." --As for Brittany's weight, it says, quote, "The overall appearance of the body is consistent with the recorded height of 65 inches and the recorded weight of 115 pounds. --"The body appears well developed, normally muscular and slim but not excessively thin." --Earlier this month, the coroner said pneumonia was the primary cause of death . . . and added that Brittany's death was accidental, and probably could have been prevented with the proper treatment.
BROOKE MUELLER IS NOW BEING TREATED FROM HOME:

CHARLIE SHEEN'S wife, BROOKE MUELLER, left her second rehab clinic and is now back home. --But she's still being treated for . . . whatever she's being treated for. She brought some sober coaches and therapists back with her. --Sources say Brooke wanted to be at home with her 11-month-old twins, now that Charlie is off in rehab himself. --Charlie's parents, MARTIN and JANET SHEEN, are at the house helping Brooke with the kids. --Meanwhile, RadarOnline.com says that Brooke has been hiding her crack addiction for a while now.--A so-called "source" says, quote, "Brooke has been out of control for months. She smoked crack the night before she had Charlie arrested in December. --"[She and Charlie] both have addiction issues and they don't have a happy marriage. It was just a disaster and they tried to cover it up as long as they could but ultimately the whole situation just exploded."


HARRISON FORD IS IN TROUBLE WITH ENVIRONMENTALISTS FOR ADMITTING THAT HE'S FLOWN TO GET A HAMBURGER:

HARRISON FORD has been flying helicopters and airplanes for 15 years now, and it STILL gives him a rush. So much so that he sometimes makes unnecessary trips with the aircraft that he keeps at an airport in Santa Monica, California. --He says, quote, "Learning to fly was a work of art. I'm so passionate about flying I often fly up the coast for a cheeseburger. Flying is like good music; it elevates the spirit and it's an exhilarating freedom." --Not surprisingly, that whole "flying up the coast for a cheeseburger" thing isn't sitting well with some environmentalists. --Dr. Wendy Buckley . . . the director of a website called CarbonFootprint.com . . . says, quote, "Flying is a huge source of carbon emissions and making unnecessary journeys by plane can no longer be seen as responsible to our environment. --"Stars like Harrison Ford need to embrace the huge opportunity to lead by example in the battle against climate change . . . reduce their overall lifestyle carbon footprint and carbon offset those unavoidable emissions." (--I don't necessarily disagree with what Dr. Buckley is saying. But it's hard not to give Harrison a pass on this issue.)(--Here's Harrison's chest-waxing commercial . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r87wJ1QmyYw


NEW COURT DOCUMENTS CLAIM THAT JON CRYER'S EX-WIFE TRIED TO GET SOMEBODY TO KILL HIM:

One day back in January, "Two and a Half Men" taped without an audience . . . because there was a rumor that someone had threatened co-star JON CRYER. --That someone was Jon's ex-wife, Sarah Trigger. The word was that she'd hired a HITMAN to take him out . . . apparently because they were involved in a nasty custody battle. (--Last year, Jon was awarded temporary custody of their 9-year-old son Charlie . . . after Sarah was arrested on child neglect charges involving her 2-year-old son with another man.) --Well, here's the latest on this insanity . . . --In papers filed recently in their custody battle, Sarah's attorney says that it was Sarah's ex-boyfriend, Eddie Sanchez, who had threatened to kill Jon Cryer. --For good measure, he was also going to off Sarah's then-husband, David Dickey. He and Sarah were estranged. --Sarah's attorney said that Sarah told her this back in December . . . and she was so concerned that she contacted lawyers for both Cryer and Dickey. --Sanchez flat-out denies this. And he claims that it was Sarah who contacted HIM and asked him to do the killing. --But Sarah's attorney says, quote, "Sarah has not threatened anyone, especially Jon and those are statements that are refuted and she has evidence to show that Mr. Sanchez has already recanted those statements to her."


SETH GREEN IS ENGAGED:

SETH GREEN . . . (--who played Dr. Evil's son, Scott, in the "Austin Powers" movies) . . . is engaged to actress CLARE GRANT. There's no word on a wedding date. --Clare's resume includes "Walk the Line", "Black Snake Moan" and the MTV series "$5 Cover". She also does voiceovers for the claymation show that Seth produces, "Robot Chicken". She's 30 years old. He's 36.


IS A "ZOOLANDER" SEQUEL FINALLY IN THE WORKS???

There might finally be a sequel in the works to BEN STILLER'S damn-near-brilliant 2001 flick "Zoolander". --The word on the World Wide Web of Misinformation is that Ben is working on a script with Justin Theroux . . . the guy who co-wrote "Tropic Thunder" with him. --Theroux would also direct. (--Stiller directed the first "Zoolander".) --There's no word if OWEN WILSON will return as fellow male supermodel Hansel . . . but JONAH HILL is in negotiations to play the villain. (--The original "Zoolander" got swept under the carpet when it was originally released, because it came out on September 28th, 2001 . . . just weeks after the September 11th terrorist attacks.) (--But it's become a cult classic . . . and continues to sell on DVD and iTunes. Probably because of BLUE STEEL!!!)


MICKEY ROURKE WILL BE IN THE NEW "CONAN" MOVIE:

MICKEY ROURKE has signed on to the new "Conan" movie. He'll play Conan's father, Corin. "Stargate: Atlantis" stud JASON MOMOA is playing Conan.
CHECK OUT A NEW "NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET" TRAILER:
A new trailer for the "Nightmare On Elm Street" remake has hit the World Wide Web of Time Wasting. (--You can check it out here . . .)http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=103206439(--The movie hits theaters April 30th . . . and while I'm usually 100% against these remakes, this one looks pretty tight. Perhaps it has something to do with the very brilliant JACKIE EARLE HALEY playing Freddy.)


"AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY

DO SIMON COWELL AND ELLEN DEGENERES HATE EACH OTHER???

There are all kinds of reports online about how SIMON COWELL and ELLEN DEGENERES haven't been getting along on "American Idol". --Supposedly, it all began last month when Simon was late for the taping of one of Ellen's first shows . . . and since then, Ellen has become increasingly intolerant of Simon's "cruel" comments to the contestants. --TMZ reports that Simon and Ellen's frustrations with each other are apparent both on and off camera, and a so-called "insider" tells them that Simon is quote, "intentionally pushing Ellen's buttons" by being extra mean. --There isn't any real PROOF that Simon and Ellen are at each other's throats, but people are pointing out that they are no longer sitting next to each other at the judges' table. (--Ellen joked that she moved because Simon was HITTING ON HER.) --Last week, Simon denied that he had any problems with Ellen . . . quote, "I wouldn't say that we didn't get on well. I don't know Ellen that well. --"There was one story I read that I turned up an hour late or something and that she wanted to film." --"I mean, the truth was I think I turned up 15 or 20 minutes late because I did a press conference earlier in the day and they did start filming, but that wasn't a particular problem. But no, there was no fallout. --"I was trying to guide her through the week, and that was about it, really." (--We'll let you know if anything comes of this . . . but don't hold your breath.)


WEEKEND TV REMINDERS

FRIDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"2010 Winter Olympics" . . . throughout the day on NBC and its sister networks. (--Friday's events include . . . speed skating, four-man bobsled, men's ice hockey, women's parallel giant slalom snowboard and women's alpine skiing slalom.)--"41st NAACP Image Awards" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Anika Noni Rose and Hill Harper are your hosts.) (--Here are your nominees . . .)http://www.naacpimageawards.net/41/nominees-and-voting/nominees/--"Four Weddings" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.
SATURDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"2010 Winter Olympics" . . . throughout the day on NBC and its various sister networks. (--Saturday's events include . . . speed skating, four-man bobsled, cross country, men's parallel giant slalom snowboard and men's alpine skiing slalom.)--"Wanda Sykes Show" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on Fox. (--Ray Romano, Roland Martin (author of "The First") and comedian Kevin Hart guest.)--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Jennifer Lopez pulls double duty as the host and the musical guest.)
SUNDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"
2010 Winter Olympics" [Closing Ceremonies] . . . 7:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC and its sister networks. (--At some point before the closing ceremonies, Sunday's last two events are cross country skiing and men's ice hockey.)--"Amazing Race 16" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.--"Desperate Housewives" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Gabby stays with neighbors Lee and Bob when her daughter Celia comes down with the chickenpox.)--"The Marriage Ref" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. (--A reality show where celebrity guest judges try to help couples work on their marriage. Jerry Seinfeld, Kelly Ripa and Alec Baldwin are your first judges.) (--It's produced by Jerry Seinfeld and hosted by comedian Tom Papa. They're calling this a "sneak preview", but it slides into its normal 10:00 P.M. timeslot later in the week, on Thursday, March 4th.)


IT'S OFFICIAL: AEROSMITH AND STEVEN TYLER ARE BACK TOGETHER:

After nearly six months of mind-numbing speculation, it's FINALLY official: AEROSMITH and singer STEVEN TYLER are back together. --Despite all the talk of the band being frustrated with him . . . Steven going solo . . . the band searching for a replacement singer . . . Steven having substance abuse problems . . . and Steven going to rehab for painkiller addiction . . . it's all better now. --In a short video released yesterday, the entire band . . . including Steven . . . announced that they're back. Guitarist JOE PERRY starts it off saying, quote, "We're Aerosmith, and you know what . . . the rumors are true. I think." --Then Steven says, quote, "You think? I just auditioned and I got the gig. We're coming your way and rocking your world. Look out baby . . . because here we come again." And then the whole group busts up in cackling laughter. (???) (--Here's the video link . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMImPYuCAU4--Aerosmith has also confirmed some summer shows in Europe, which they're calling the Cocked, Locked and Ready to Rock tour. Right now, it's scheduled to run from June 10th in Sweden through July 3rd in Venice, Italy. --No North American dates have been announced yet. (--We'll keep you posted.)


ITUNES HAS SOLD ITS 10 BILLIONTH SONG:

iTunes sold their 10 BILLIONTH song on Wednesday to some dude named Louie Sulcer from Woodstock, Georgia. --Louie received a personal call from Apple boss Steve Jobs. He tells "Rolling Stone", quote, "He called me and said, 'This is Steve Jobs from Apple.' I said, 'Yeah right.' --"I have a son that loves to play tricks and he does that every now and then . . . calls me and imitates somebody." Eventually, Steve Jobs was able to prove that he was Steve Jobs . . . and Louie was given a $10,000 iTunes gift card. --If you're curious, the milestone download was the JOHNNY CASH song "Guess Things Happen That Way". It was originally released in 1958.


TOM PETTY ANNOUNCES A NEW ALBUM AND TOUR:

TOM PETTY AND THE HEARTBREAKERS have announced that they will release a new album . . . called "Mojo" . . . this spring. It's their first album in eight years. --There's no release date yet, but they did unveil the dates for a massive U.S. tour, which will begin on May 6th in Raleigh, North Carolina and run through August 27th in Saratoga Springs, New York. (--You can find all the dates, here . . .) http://www.tompetty.com/tour


MILEY CYRUS HAS RECORDED A DUET WITH BRET MICHAELS, WITH A LINE ABOUT GETTING UNDRESSED:

POISON singer BRET MICHAELS has released a new song called "Nothing to Lose", which features MILEY CYRUS on back-up vocals. Seriously. --If that isn't bizarre enough, there's also some "controversy" about the content of the song, which is a little risqué. Not for Bret . . . unless he's singing with a 17-year-old, which is how old Miley is. --They share the lines: Quote, "Won't you fall down on me / So close I can feel you breathe / Tonight in the darkness with nothing to lose / If the truth is all we can see / If I fall for you, could you fall for me? --"Yeah we both know better than this, still we can't resist . . . slowly get undressed." (--You can listen to the song, here . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JZ3M-OpI7yA


FOR YOUR INFORMATION: WHITNEY HOUSTON IS "HEALTHY":

Despite WHITNEY HOUSTON'S weak performance in Australia on Monday . . . in which she couldn't hit high notes and apparently needed to take a WATER BREAK in the middle of a song . . . there's absolutely nothing wrong with her. --Her publicist says, quote, "Whitney is in great health and having a terrific time on her tour and with her fans. Her fans were dancing and singing along with her and Whitney appreciates their support."


THE JONAS BROTHERS HAVE BEEN NAMED "WORST BAND" IN BRITAIN:

THE JONAS BROTHERS took home TWO awards at the "NME" Awards in London last night . . . but they weren't ones that the Jonases would get excited about. --The two categories they won were: Worst Band and Worst Album . . . for "Lines, Vines and Trying Times". (--The Jonas Brothers weren't at the ceremony.)
NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF
HERE ARE SEVEN TIPS TO HELP YOU CHEAT AND NOT GET CAUGHT:

You already know it's wrong to CHEAT. But if you're going to do it anyway, here are seven tips from the good people at "Maxim" to help you get away with it:

#1.) Safeguard your cell phone: If you're the kind of guy who might cheat, chances are your girl knows it, and she's keeping an eye on who you call and text. And if she sees you've been in contact with another woman, she's going to freak out. --So instead of entering the girl's real name in your contacts list, make her a GUY. If your action-on-the-side is named "Jackie," put her in your phone as "Jack." If it's "Kristen," go with "Chris." And always password-protect your phone, just to be safe.

#2.) Hack-proof your life: If you've had the same email password for the last ten years, you're pretty much asking to be spied on. Which is exactly why you need to cover your tracks online. --The best way to do that is to create a separate email account just for your side-action. And after you're done sending a message, make sure you log off entirely. Then quit the browser, and clear the cache. It's that easy.

#3.) Always be reachable: The best way to avoid suspicion is to always return your girl's texts and phone calls right away. Even if you're with exactly who she THINKS you're with, it doesn't hurt to take a 30-second break to fire off a text.

#4.) NEVER tell anyone: Contrary to popular belief, women cheat too. We just don't hear about it as much because they're better at getting away with it. Because, unlike men, they know when to keep their mouths shut. --This includes using your friends as alibis. It's a bad idea and, eventually, it's going to backfire.

#5.) Choose wisely: If you're going to cheat, the single most important thing you can do is to pick the RIGHT PERSON. By which I mean don't pick someone who can't or won't keep your secret, and don't pick someone who will use the affair to blackmail you.

#6.) Don't 'date' your fling: Don't meet up for coffee. Don't confide in one another about your lives. And most importantly, don't get emotionally involved. The bottom line is if you do, you're going to get caught. Period.

#7.) Don't overcompensate: It's a classic mistake . . . you feel guilty or afraid of getting caught, so you go out of your way to do nice things. But your girl will notice, and she's going to get suspicious. What you want to do is maintain the status quo.
IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT.. PLEASE DON'T CHEAT! IF YOUR NOT HAPPY WITH YOUR PARTNER, END THE RELATIONSHIP! (Maxim)
HERE ARE 14 THINGS IN YOUR APARTMENT THAT ARE SURE TO SCARE A WOMAN AWAY:

Guys, if you're looking forward to a random hook-up this weekend, I wish you the best of luck. But you should know that even if you do get a girl back to your place, there's no guarantee she's going to hook up with you. --With that in mind, here's a list of things in your apartment that are sure to scare a woman away, courtesy of a website called Guyism.com. We also threw in a few of our own, that we unfortunately learned the hard way. Check it out:
#1.) Dorm room decorations . . . because women don't want to feel like they're back at your frat. So no "Animal House" posters and empty beer bottle collections.
#2.) Moldy food . . . because there's no reason to have it, and it's just gross. And having no food at all in the fridge is almost as bad.
#3.) A total pigsty . . . because a woman will NEVER get naked if she thinks there's a chance she'll catch something from your apartment. She just won't.
#4.) "Star Wars" toys and other collectables . . . because cool as they may be, women just don't get the obsession.
#5.) No sheets or bedding . . . because then you'll have to take a few minutes to grab some sheets and put them on, and by that time the moment may have passed.
#6.) Political stuff, one way or another . . . because if her political leanings aren't the same as yours, it could start you down a very unsexy path.
#7.) Religious stuff . . . because nothing kills the mood quite like a crucifix over the bed, judging you for your slutty behavior.
#8.) Pornography out in the open . . . because, well, you know why.
#9.) A bunch of roommates hanging out . . . because it's a mood-killer, and it'll make her self-conscious. Plus if your friends are losers, she'll think you're one too.
#10.) Pictures of your family . . . because they'll make her think of her OWN family, and how they definitely wouldn't approve of what she's about to do.
#11.) Pictures of your ex-girlfriend . . . because no girl wants to mess around with a guy who's still hung up on his ex.
#12.) Any sort of female bath products or makeup . . . because it's a sure sign you've got another girl.
#13.) A camera or webcam pointed at the bed . . . because everyone knows that if they make a sex tape, it'll eventually end up on the Internet.
#14.) Finally, there's nothing worse than leaving a FLOATER in the toilet. Because it's disgusting, and women DON'T hook up with guys who don't flush.



A WOMAN'S SIZE-D BREAST IMPLANTS SAVED HER LIFE BY STOPPING A BULLET:

Getting BREAST IMPLANTS is a great way to improve your self-esteem and attract the attention of men. And now, they can even save your LIFE. Just ask Lydia Carranza of Simi Valley, California (--about 35 miles northwest of Los Angeles). --Last summer, Lydia was at the dental office where she works when the husband of a co-worker stormed in and started shooting a rifle. --Lydia took one bullet to her right arm, and another at point-blank range square in the chest. But she survived the attack. --According to her plastic surgeon, it's because her SIZE-D boob implants absorbed most of the bullet's impact, which limited the damage to the rest of her body. (!!!) --The doctor says, quote, "I saw the CT scan. The bullet fragments were millimeters from her heart and her vital organs. Had she not had the implant, she might not be alive today." --In other words, breast implants save lives. (Los Angeles Times)


A 500-POUND WOMAN HAD TO BE CARRIED OUT OF HER BURNING HOUSE BY EIGHT FIREFIGHTERS BECAUSE SHE COULDN'T WALK ON HER OWN:

It's no secret I love the CHUBBIES. But if your weight problem has gotten so out-of-control that you can't even get out of bed, it might be time to go on a diet. Here's what I'm talking about . . . --On Tuesday, Josie McCoy of Jacksonville, Florida, called 911 to report her kitchen was on FIRE, and she was trapped in her bedroom. --Actually, to be more accurate, Josie was trapped in her BED . . . because she's unable to walk on her own . . . because she weighs 500 POUNDS. --Anyway, Josie survived the fire, but only after EIGHT FIREFIGHTERS broke into her house and carried her entire bed outside. --According to the Fire Chief, quote, "As soon as they found her, search and rescue said they needed more help. And I ended up calling more rescue up there, and they were able to keep her on her mattress and take her out a window. --"She was conscious and talking. She was very concerned and scared like anybody would be from the smoke." (WJXT News 4 - Jacksonville)


HERE ARE SEVEN GUIDELINES FOR MOVING BACK IN WITH YOUR PARENTS:

According to CNN, college graduates had 40% fewer job prospects last year. And a Pew Research poll showed that 10% of adults under the age of 35 have moved back in with their parents.
--If you're one of them, this list is for you. It's seven guidelines for moving back in with your folks. It's a good list for parents too, because it'll help you make sure your kid's moving toward something, not just crashing on your couch indefinitely . . .
#1.) MAKE A BUDGET. It should be your top priority. While you're living with your parents at little-to-no rent, you shouldn't be going on shopping sprees. If you're lucky enough to have a job, you should be saving as much as you can.
#2.) LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS FOR ONCE. They've been through recessions before, and they’ll probably have some useful advice. If nothing else, they can help you with that budget you'll be making.
#3.) SET GUIDELINES. Your parents shouldn't expect you to follow the same rules you did when you were a kid. But you also shouldn't be rolling in at three in the morning every night and waking them up. --Talk about privacy issues and the "rules of the house." And try to compromise.
#4.) GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Do something productive with your free time. If you can't find a job, think about taking an unpaid internship or doing some volunteer work. It'll look good on your resume. --When you're unemployed, it's easy to get stuck in the routine of lying on the couch all day watching TV.
#5.) START THINKING ABOUT YOUR HEALTH. Now's a good time to break the bad habits you picked up in college. So stop smoking and start exercising, and make sure you get enough sleep. Although that last one's probably not a problem.
#6.) RECONNECT WITH OLD FRIENDS. Once you're back in career mode, you won't have time. And keeping in touch with your friends will boost your self-esteem. Plus, one of them might know about a job opening.
#7.) PLAN YOUR ESCAPE. Start setting goals and figuring out a date of departure. Whatever you do, don't get too comfortable. You don't want to be the person who lives with their parents FOREVER. (StyleCaster.com)
NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) A SKI JUMPER'S SKIS FELL OFF MID-JUMP:This ski jumper's skis flew off in mid-jump, and he didn't realize it until he landed.(--Search for "freestyle skiing skis fly off")http://www.frogsoda.com/video/freestyle_fail

#2.) A SNOWBOARDER SURVIVED AN AVALANCHE IN SLOVAKIA:A snowboarder in Slovakia survived an avalanche, and his helmet camera caught the whole thing on video.(--Search for "snowboarder avalanche Slovakia High Tatra Mountains." The avalanche starts at :23.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwmI4NfZbss

#3.) A BASKETBALL PLAYER STEPPED ON ANOTHER PLAYER'S CROTCH:An Italian basketball player used another player's crotch as a springboard for a dunk.(--Search for "Tony Skinn groin dunk")http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOI5QCCrChs
FIVE WAYS TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR LOOKS:

Dating is obviously easier if you're attractive, and research shows good looking people might even make more money too. We can't all be movie stars, but there ARE a few things you can do to make the most of what you've got. Here are five . . .
#1.) PLUCK UNWANTED HAIR. The nose hair, ear hair, and uni-brow should go. And if you're a woman or a teenage boy, so should the mustache. If you don't want to splurge on a wax, just buy a pair of tweezers and start plucking.
#2.) PRACTICE GOOD POSTURE. You'll automatically look thinner and more confident. When you do it right, your weight should rest more on your toes than on your heels, your shoulders should be back, and your stomach should be pulled in.
#3.) TAKE CARE OF YOUR MOUTH. Brush and floss every night, and whiten your teeth with a home kit twice a year. According to EVERY DENTIST EVER, flossing is REALLY important, so do it.
#4.) TAKE CARE OF YOUR SKIN. Wash your face every night. If you have acne, use a face wash that contains salicylic acid (--pronounced sal-uh-SILL-ick). If you have dry skin, use one that has a creamy texture. This is especially important if you wear make-up.
#5.) WEAR CLOTHES THAT FIT. Tight clothes and loose clothes both make you look bigger than you really are. Even if it's a $400 cashmere sweater, you won't look good unless it fits. --As a general rule, your clothes should hug your body, but not be skin tight. (AskMen.com) GUYS,


HERE'S WHAT TO DO IF YOUR BUDDY'S GIRLFRIEND HATES YOU:

So your buddy's girlfriend is never nice to you. Here are five reasons she might hate you, and what to do about it . . .
#1.) SHE SEES YOU AS THE SINGLE, PARTY GUY. Once a girl has found a good man, she doesn't want to risk losing him. Sure, she may trust her boyfriend, but she'll still feel threatened if he keeps bar-hopping with his single friends all the time.
--It's not your job to ease her insecurities . . . but you CAN show her that you're not encouraging your friend to chase after women when he's out. So suck it up and invite her to hang with the boys one night.
#2.) YOU'VE EXCLUDED HER. Being a new girlfriend and getting introduced to a guy's friends can be intimidating. Group situations and inside jokes can make anyone feel like an outsider, and you're already worried about being accepted.
--So if you haven't made at least a small effort to include her, she's probably going to be annoyed with you. You don't have to roll out the red carpet, but just walking over during a group hangout and talking one-on-one for a few minutes can make a huge difference.
#3.) SHE ENVIES YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH HER MAN. If it were up to most women, they'd be their man's go-to person for everything . . . even if YOUR friendship has taken 16 years to cultivate and she's only been around for three months.
--Don't ever sacrifice your friendship with your buddy . . . but try to show his girlfriend that her opinion is valued. Ask her for some girl advice, or for her opinion on something, and it'll help make her feel like you guys are on the same level.
#4.) SHE SEES YOU AS THE BUM. If a woman's in it for the long-haul, she's looking for a man who's mature and ambitious enough to take the next step with her, whether that's moving in together or marriage.
--So if you're the friend who's a bum and still lives at home, she'll immediately see you as someone who's going to drag her boyfriend down with you.
--There's no need to change for your buddy's girl, but giving subtle compliments on your friend's cool job or his new apartment in front of her can help prove that you're not a bad influence.
#5.) SHE'S A HATER, PLAIN AND SIMPLE. If your friend's girlfriend is cold towards you, there's always the possibility that there's absolutely no shred of logic behind it. She might just be hostile and manipulative, period.
--So if playing nice hasn't worked, just sit your friend down and be honest with him. He'll probably blow you off at first, but when he eventually sees the light, he'll remember and appreciate your honesty. (Ask Men)

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