February 11, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

THE MIND OF MAYER

JOHN MAYER SAYS HIS PENIS IS A WHITE SUPREMACIST:

In the new issue of "Playboy", JOHN MAYER shares an interesting fact about himself: His penis does not like black women. --He says, quote, "My (rhymes with STICK) is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a (effing) David Duke (rhymes with ROCK). I'm going to start dating separately from my (rhymes with STICK)." (--In case you didn't get the Benetton reference, they're an Italian company that sells clothes and perfume with the slogan "United Colors".) --Mayer does make sure to note that there ARE black women he finds sexy. Such as HOLLY ROBINSON PEETE, KERRY WASHINGTON and KARYN PARSONS . . . who played Hilary Banks on "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air". --That's not all John Mayer had to say. (--Not surprisingly.) He also discusses JESSICA SIMPSON'S coital skills. Which, by the way, were AMAZING. --He says, quote, "That girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm. --"Did you ever say, 'I want to quit my life and just (effing) snort you? If you charged me $10,000 to (eff) you, I would start selling all my (stuff) just to keep (effing) you.'" --Mayer is a lot more protective and respectful of JENNIFER ANISTON. When asked if his new single, "Heartbreak Warfare", is about her, he says, quote, "That woman would never use heartbreak warfare. --"That woman was the most communicative, sweetest, kindest person . . . when you listen to Coldplay, do you think about Gwyneth Paltrow? I don't write songs in order to stick it to my exes. I don't release underground dis tracks." --Mayer also revealed that he's only been with four or five women since he and Jennifer broke up. And he crudely added, quote, "I get less ass now than I did when I was in a local band. Because now I don't like jumping through hoops. --"There have probably been days when I saw 300 vaginas before I got out of bed." John also discussed the strange, inexplicable cred he seems to have with black people. He says, quote, "I am a very . . . I'm just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can't handle very, then I'm a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That's why black people love me. --"Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a hood pass? And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a (N-word) pass. --"Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, 'I can't have a hood pass. I've never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We're full.' --"What is being black? It's making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that's seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you'll die inside. --"Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude's."


JOHN MAYER HAS APOLOGIZED FOR USING THE N-WORD:

Right after that "Playboy" interview in which JOHN MAYER uses the N-word hit the web, Mayer hit Twitter to APOLOGIZE. --He said, quote, "I am sorry that I used the word. And it's such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. --"It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there's no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged." --He added, quote, "I think it's time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews . . . I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock . . . I should have never said the word and I will never say it again."


JESSICA SIMPSON SAYS JOHN MAYER'S COMMENTS ABOUT HER ARE "INTERESTING":

In his "Playboy" interview, JOHN MAYER called ex-girlfriend JESSICA SIMPSON "crack cocaine" and "SEXUAL NAPALM". (--And he meant it in a GOOD way.) --On Twitter yesterday, Jessica posted what was apparently a response. She said, quote, "Interesting day so far . . . hmm. At least I am boxing 2-a-days this week."


HOLLY ROBINSON PEETE IS PSYCHED THAT JOHN MAYER THINKS SHE'S HOT:

JOHN MAYER'S latest "Playboy" interview . . . like all John Mayer interviews before it . . . is going to divide people. You'll either love it or hate it. There's really no in-between with this guy. --Well, one person who's on the "love it" side is HOLLY ROBINSON PEETE. But that's because Mayer mentioned during the interview that he thinks she's hot. --Holly says, quote, "I'm levitating. There's nothing that makes a 45-year-old mother of four feel better when she's dropping her kids off at school than to get a link on my iPhone that says John Mayer thinks I'm hot." --Holly says her husband, former NFL stud RODNEY PEETE, is just as psyched as she is . . . because he's a big John Mayer fan. In fact, Holly says Rodney has a, quote, "big giant bromance crush" on him. --As for Mayer's comments about his penis being a white supremacist . . . or the other racial matters he discussed . . . it's all good with Holly. --She says, quote, "I follow John on Twitter because I think he's so damn funny. He's got a giant brain. He uses it. He's unpredictable and funny. Some people may not like that, but I find him extremely refreshing and amusing."


--- I'm starting to get the feeling that the "National Enquirer" is going a little overboard with all this JOHN EDWARDS stuff. Their latest claim is that John has asked his mistress, RIELLE HUNTER, to marry him. --John's rep says this is, quote, "absolutely not true." He added that John and Rielle don't even speak directly. They're only communicating via a third party to work out visitation for their out-of-wedlock baby.

***SHOCK SURPRISE OF THE MONTH!!!*** TIGER WOODS' SUPPOSED MADAM SAYS TIGER WAS INTO BLONDE GIRLS UNDER 25:

MICHELLE BRAUN . . . who claims she used to be TIGER WOODS' madam . . . says Tiger had a very specific type when it came to ordering girls. Can anyone guess what it might have been??? --BLONDES UNDER 25!!! I know . . . who could have guessed??? --In an interview with "Inside Edition", Michelle also claims he wanted them PETITE and, quote, "preferably natural, not overly busty . . . and girls that partied." --She also says Tiger usually requested MULTIPLE girls, and would pay as much as $60,000 in a weekend. --By the way . . . Michelle does NOT think Tiger is a sex addict. She says, quote, "It's not like he was having girls fly in and seeing them for an hour while his wife was home with the kids. --"He was doing this when he was out having a good time with his boys and he was on the road."


LINDSAY LOHAN SAYS SAMANTHA RONSON NEVER HIT HER:

There's been talk floating around lately that SAMANTHA RONSON beats on LINDSAY LOHAN. Well, Lindsay would like you to know it's NOT TRUE. --She had this to say about it on Twitter . . . quote, "This is become a bit much. Samantha never raised a hand to me, I've never said she did. Enough is Enough. Focus on other more important . . . World Issues." --Samantha followed up with a Tweet of her own . . . quote, "To ANYONE who perpetuates this rumor accusing me of being violently abusive after [Lindsay] has denied it: I WILL take legal action."
#1.) There was some talk yesterday that CHARLIE SHEEN was going to rehab. Apparently, it's not true. Charlie's rep says, quote, "Charlie is not headed for rehab." That is all.

MOVIE RUMORS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE TRUE:

#1.) The website CinemaBlend.com claims that Universal is considering a 3D remake of "Jaws" . . . and they might even be considering "30 Rock" star TRACY MORGAN in the RICHARD DREYFUSS part. (--If this happens, it'll actually be the SECOND 3D "Jaws" flick. "Jaws 3D", came out in 1983. It starred Dennis Quaid and Louis Gossett Jr.)


#2.) "Eclipse" . . . the third movie in the "Twilight" series . . . hits theaters in June. And there are RUMORS going around that the first trailer will be unveiled THIS WEEKEND . . . before the movie "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief".


#3.) PENELOPE CRUZ is reportedly in negotiations to play JOHNNY DEPP'S nemesis in the upcoming "Pirates of the Caribbean" movie, "On Stranger Tides". The movie is being targeted for a May 2011 release.


#4.) This isn't a rumor . . . it's actually TRUE. Sony says that when the new, rebooted "Spider-Man" movie hits theaters in 2012, it'll be in 3D. That is all.


KARA DIOGUARDI THINKS ELLEN DEGENERES IS A GOOD FIT ON "IDOL" . . . BUT DOESN'T THINK HOWARD STERN WOULD BE:

KARA DIOGUARDI thinks ELLEN DEGENERES is a good fit on "American Idol". But HOWARD STERN??? Not so much. --She says, quote, "I think she did a great job during Hollywood Week. I think that Ellen brings a sense of humor, of course, but also I think she knows more about music than you think she does. --"I think she was critical at times, and she gave good feedback that was constructive. When I was sitting next to her, I felt she had a really good handle on whether a contestant has potential, whether they had a star quality. --"She delivered the message with kindness but also had criticism in there. I think it takes time to get used to. I think the dynamic is something that grows over time." --Kara didn't say much about the talk that Howard Stern could replace SIMON COWELL, but she did question whether or not he'd be qualified. --She said, quote, "I don't really know if I can even speak on it. I don't know that he has a musical background. I think that if you're gonna replace Simon, you have to have that background." --By the way, the Parents Television Council has asked Fox to officially DENY their interest in Stern . . . calling him, quote, "one of the most profane, sexually-explicit and anti-family performers in the history of the broadcast medium."


WILL JON GOSSELIN CHANGE HIS MIND AND ALLOW "JON AND KATE PLUS EIGHT" TO RESUME???

It's fairly obvious that JON GOSSELIN'S decision to pull the plug on "Jon and Kate Plus Eight" last year was more about him than it was about protecting the children. --So it wouldn't be surprising if Jon decided to reverse his stance and allow it to continue . . . so that he can go back to picking up paychecks from TLC. --So-called "sources" tell FoxNews.com that Jon is in negotiations with TLC to let them begin filming his family again. Supposedly, Kate is also involved in the talks. --The source says, quote, "Jon does not have money for the lawyer fees and ensuing battle with [TLC] and Kate has asked him to reconsider his decision for the family. She is willing to negotiate with him and TLC so that everyone gets what they want." --In an interview with E! Online, Jon's lawyer, Mark Heller, confirms that he IS in settlement talks with TLC . . . and wouldn't rule out a future partnership between Jon and TLC. But he didn't mention anything about "Jon and Kate" coming back. (--TLC filed a breach of contract suit against Jon, for making money off unauthorized interviews and TV appearances. So TLC pretty much has him over a barrel. As long as they have him under contract, he can't make any money with anyone else.)


WILL JAY LENO LOSE A TON OF VIEWERS WHEN HE RE-TAKES THE REINS OF "THE TONIGHT SHOW"??? "TV GUIDE SEEMS TO THINK SO:

Not sure if this means anything, but TVGuide.com is currently conducting a survey, asking people if they're excited about watching JAY LENO on the "Tonight Show" again. As of last night, 8,735 people had voted. Here are the results: --16% selected "Yes, I'm a fan." --12% chose "No, but I never watched before" --3% say "I'm open-minded, it will depend on the show" --And an overwhelming 69% claim they, quote, "used to watch [Jay], but [won't] after what happened to Conan." (--I think Jay WILL lose viewers. But you can't go by this poll. Something tells me most of those 69% really WEREN'T Leno viewers to begin with. They're just trying to alter perceptions.)


#1.) Sources tell "Entertainment Weekly" that "Friday Night Lights" will wrap following its fifth season. Supposedly, the cast has been notified that they're free to take other jobs after filming finishes up this June. (--The fourth season just finished its initial run on DirecTV, and won't premiere on NBC until April 30th. The fifth season debuts on DirecTV this fall, and probably won't come to NBC until NEXT year.)


#3.) If you'd get a kick out of seeing DONNY OSMOND trip and fall on "The Insider" . . . to the point where he completely wipes out . . . hit up this link:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lil39ODs6ds


CELINE DION IS GOING BACK TO VEGAS . . . BUT BARBRA STREISAND WOULDN'T DO VEGAS FOR $100 MILLION???

CELINE DION has announced that she will be returning to Las Vegas next year. --It'll take place at The Colosseum at Caesar's Palace, the same place where she performed a few years ago. (--Celine finished her five-year residency back in 2007.) --This time, she'll be doing a new show, but there aren't any details yet. It'll premiere on March 15th . . . and is scheduled to run for three years. (--Tickets for the first 54 dates will go on sale Friday. For the dates and ticket information, hit up this link . . .) http://www.celineinvegas.com/show.php --Meanwhile, PopEater.com reports that BARBRA STREISAND has turned down a $100 MILLION offer to do a similar show in Vegas. --A "source" . . . who sounds like a HUGE Barbra fan . . . says, quote, "She's an international star and the only performer in the world that would make people flock to Vegas year after year. After Celine left Vegas, no one has been able to replace her. --"BETTE MIDLER failed, CHER is trying, [but] only Barbra is guaranteed to succeed. [But] money has never been a deciding factor in her career. She plans on touring again this summer instead." (--Maybe it's unfortunate that Barbra is passing on Vegas to do her THIRD FAREWELL TOUR, but at least the problem of replacing Celine has solved itself.)


PETE TOWNSHEND LEARNED A LITTLE ABOUT AMERICAN FOOTBALL WHILE AT THE SUPER BOWL:

THE WHO'S Super Bowl performance on Sunday gave PETE TOWNSHEND both the opportunity to perform in front of more than 106 million Americans . . . and to learn a little about American football. --Pete tells "Rolling Stone", quote, "English people still find the rules almost incomprehensible, like Americans finding cricket incomprehensible. It's very difficult to understand how the game operates. --"But it's a real sporting event and very exciting backstage and very dignified and serious. Some of my friends have been quite sniffy and said, 'We watched it and it was like (effing) Disneyland.' --"But when you're on the inside of it, there's a real sense of it being a job, a passion. I learned a lot about it yesterday, and it was all good." --He says they decided to do the show to, quote, "let people know that we're alive and kicking" . . . but they weren't awed by the size of the audience. --He says, quote, "When the NFL started to talk to us about this, one of the things they started to talk about was the numbers . . . and I said, 'I've done a solo show in front of 80 million people on TV.' --"The abstract numbers make no difference."
#1.) There's an AWESOME new Snickers commercial featuring ARETHA FRANKLIN and LIZA MINNELLI. It's got the same concept as their BETTY WHITE / ABE VIGODA Super Bowl ad. (--Watch it, here . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLrsCnBvQFo

-- RIHANNA'S new "Rude Boy" music video has officially premiered on Vevo.com. (--Here's the direct link . . .)http://www.vevo.com/watch/playlist/the-rihanna-revue/46565#0 PORNO

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

ADDICTION IS ONLY A "MAJOR PROBLEM" IF YOU SPEND 16 TO 18 HOURS A DAY LOOKING AT IT:

If you're worried that your healthy interest in online pornography has turned into a full-blown addiction, I've got some good news for you . . . --According to a new study from the University of Sydney in Australia, addiction to online pornography isn't a "major problem" unless you spend 16 hours a day surfing for smut. --A woman named Dr. Gomathi Sitharthan led the study. She says, quote: --"Viewing pornography online becomes a major problem only when people become so preoccupied that they spend 16 to 18 hours a day doing nothing else but watching pornography, with serious impacts on relationships, work, studies, and finances." --In other words, you could watch pornography from 8:00 A.M. until 11:00 P.M. every day, and according to Dr. Sitharthan, you still wouldn't have a "major problem" with online smut. (News Core)


THE BEST CITY FOR SINGLE WOMEN IS . . . BOSTON:

Recently, a website called SingleMindedWomen.com compiled a list of the ten best cities for BACHELORETTES, based on stuff like employment opportunities, the cost of living, access to travel and entertainment, and the ratio of women to men. --According to the criteria, the ten best cities for single women are:#10.) Austin#9.) Dallas#8.) Pittsburgh#7.) Denver#6.) Phoenix#5.) Philadelphia#4.) Seattle #3.) New York City#2.) Washington, D.C.#1.) Boston (Housing Watch)


"THINKING OUTSIDE THE BOX" IS THE MOST HATED OFFICE JARGON:

According to a new survey from a group called Opinium Research, ONE in TEN workers say they've quit a job just because they couldn't stand the office environment. --On that note, the survey found that the ten most hated office annoyances are:
#1.) Grumpy or moody co-workers#2.) Slow computers#3.) Gossip in the office#4.) Using office jargon or management-speak#5.) People who talk loudly on the phone#6.) Too much health and safety in the workplace#7.) Bad bathroom etiquette#8.) People who are late for meetings#9.) People who don't clean up after themselves in the kitchen#10.) Air conditioning that's too cold
--And the ten most hated office buzzwords and jargon are:
#1.) "Thinking outside the box"#2.) "Let's touch base"#3.) "Blue sky thinking"#4.) "Blamestorming"#5.) "Drill down to a more granular level"#6.) "Let's not throw pies in the dark"#7.) "I've got that on my radar"#8.) "Push the envelope"#9.) "Bring your A-game"#10.) "Get all your ducks in a row" (Yahoo News)


GOOGLE USERS ARE OPEN-MINDED . . . YAHOO USERS ARE OLDER AND UNIMAGINATIVE . . . AND AOL USERS ARE BITTER IDIOTS:

Recently, a group of marketing agencies pooled their data in order to identify common personality traits among search engine users, and to learn how a person's choice of search engine affects their shopping habits and brand preferences. --What they found is that GOOGLE users tend to be conventional, yet open to new things. And they prefer to do their shopping at Target and Amazon. --YAHOO users tend to be older and unimaginative, and they feel like they can't control their future. They also "strongly prefer" AT&T and Sprint to Verizon and T-Mobile. --BING users tend to be early adopters who prefer shopping at Wal-Mart. --And AOL users are less intellectual than all other search engine users. They're also conformists who have low expectations and, quote, "feel like they've gotten a raw deal out of life." (Switched)


IT TURNS OUT YOU REALLY *CAN* BE BORED TO DEATH:

This morning when you're at work bored out of your skull, I want you to think about THIS . . . --According to a study from University College London, you really can be BORED TO DEATH. --In the 1980s, a pair of researchers from University College London wanted to find out if boredom could affect a person's health. So they surveyed 7,500 civil servants in the UK, and asked them if they'd been bored at work in the past month. --Then last year, they followed up on the study to see where the civil servants are now. --What they found is that those who reported they were bored at work were TWO AND A HALF TIMES more likely to have died of a heart problem. --In other words, boredom actually CAN kill you. --For what it's worth, the researchers say that boredom alone probably won't kill you. But when you deal with it by drinking, smoking, taking drugs, or acting out in some other risky way, it absolutely can. (Yahoo News)


CHUBBY MEN ARE MORE LIKELY TO SURVIVE A CAR CRASH . . . SORT OF:

If you're a MAN OF GIRTH, this is a heads-up to remind you how important it is that you wear your seatbelt. Here's why . . . --A new study from the University of Michigan has found that men who are overweight are 22% more likely to survive a car crash than thinner guys . . . as long as they're wearing their seatbelt. --But if they're NOT buckled up, they're actually 10% more likely to die. --A guy named Michael Sivak led the study. He says that when they're buckled up, chubby guys have a better chance of surviving a car accident because . . . well . . . they've just got more padding to absorb the blow. --But when they don't buckle up, the weight of their body is more likely to, quote, "overload the airbag," which could cause it to collapse. (AnnArbor.com)


KIDS ARE MORE LIKELY TO HAVE A SWEET TOOTH IF THEY HAVE A FAMILY HISTORY OF ALCOHOLISM:

A new study from the Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia has found that kids are more likely to have a, quote, "intense sweet tooth" if they have a family history of alcoholism, or if they themselves are depressed. --A woman named Julie Mennella led the study. She says, quote, "We know that sweet taste is rewarding to all kids and makes them feel good. In addition, certain groups of children may be especially attracted to intense sweetness due to their underlying biology." (--You can link to the full article here . . .)http://www.aolnews.com/health/article/study-links-childrens-sweet-tooth-to-alcoholism-depression/19351889(AOL News)


IF THE SNUGGIE'S NOT ENOUGH, NOW THERE'S THE "HOODIE-FOOTIE SNUGGLE SUIT":

If you've always wished they made FOOTIE PAJAMAS for adults, you're in luck. Introducing the Hoodie-Footie Snuggle Suit . . . the world's first one-piece pajama suit for ADULTS. (Video Gum) (--Check out a commercial for the Hoodie-Footie Snuggle Suit here . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCOXQVnHUko


NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) This one's amusing. A thief broke into a grocery store in the middle of the night, then panicked when he couldn't find a way out. He eventually smashed out a window with a chair. (--He starts panicking at :37.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C7IZotqYid0(Search Terms: "Market Basket" burglar trying to escape Beaumont Texas)

#2.) New Orleans Saints quarterback DREW BREES revealed the team's pre-game chant at a rowdy bar after the Super Bowl Parade.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMRS4eCyg48(Search Terms: Drew Brees pre-game chant Lucy's bar video)

#3.) This guy plays the meanest prank ever. Dressed in all black with a ski mask over his face, he goes after his mom with a tire iron. Then just as he's about to bash her skull in, he tells her it's just a joke.http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1929141(Search Terms: mean murderer prank on mom) Search Terms: flood street crossing fail woman groceries)

#4.) Google put its "Street View" camera on a snowmobile and took pictures of the ski slopes at the 2010 Winter Olympics.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ4pgcrJU8c(Search Terms: Google "Street View" snowmobile)


FIVE WAYS TO RELAX IN UNDER FIVE MINUTES:

It's important to get a little rest and relaxation every now and then. But you probably don't have the extra time or the extra money for a two-week vacation in the Bahamas. So here are five ways to relax in under five minutes . . .
#1.) BREATHE. Focusing on your breathing can give you a lot of the same benefits as meditating does. And you can do it anywhere. Just take a slow, deep breath in . . . relax your body . . . hold it for a second . . . then slowly breath out, and repeat. It really works. --But if you start feeling light-headed, stop.
#2.) WRITE IT DOWN. It's a way to directly confront the things that are stressing you out. And just emptying the clutter in your brain can make you feel better.
#3.) DRINK SOMETHING. You can drink anything. Tea, coffee, V-8. It doesn't matter. Of course, it works a little faster if it's a STIFF drink. But that's not what we're talking about here. It's the ritual of preparing the drink that makes you feel relaxed.
#4.) STRETCH. Stand up, keep your knees slightly bent, bend forward and let your arms hang. Let gravity do the work for you. Then stand up straight, clasp your hands behind your back, and lift your hands up to stretch out your shoulders and upper back.
#5.) SING. Singing along to your favorite song can raise your energy level and put you in a better mood. Don't worry if you suck. Just roll up your windows and pretend you're on "American Idol". (Yahoo.com)