Wednesday, June 2, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (6-02-10)

AL AND TIPPER GORE ARE SPLITTING UP:

TIPPER GORE is apparently sick and tired of being erotically assaulted by one of the largest packages in politics . . . because she and AL are splitting up. --They announced yesterday that they're separating after 40 YEARS of marriage. Al is 62 . . . Tipper is 61. They have four children. --According to their statement, it was a, quote, "mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration." --They added, quote, "We ask for respect for our privacy and that of our family, and we do not intend to comment further." --It sounds like there's no dirt to dig up here. Sources say Al and Tipper just grew apart and started living separate lives . . . and there were NO AFFAIRS. --Al and Tipper met at Al's high school prom in 1965. They'd each come with different dates, but started seeing each other almost immediately afterward. --When Al went off to Harvard the following year, Tipper went to Garland Junior College in Boston to be close to him. (--She later transferred to Boston University.) --Al's college roommate, actor TOMMY LEE JONES, once said that the Harvard chicks didn't chase Al because, quote, "they were all afraid of Tipper." --When Al was a senator in the 1980s, Tipper became the scourge of the rock and rap communities by co-founding the Parents Music Resource Center. --They're responsible for that parental advisory sticker on your 50 Cent CD. They're the ones who started that. --Nobody really cares about those stickers anymore, but back in the day it was a HUGE controversy. Artists called it CENSORSHIP, and argued that it would limit their sales. --Guys like Frank Zappa and Dee Snider from Twisted Sister even testified about it before Congress. --And The Ramones wrote a song about it, called "Censors**t" . . . which included the chorus . . .
"Ah, Tipper come on, ain't you been getting it on?
Ask Ozzy, Zappa or me.
We'll show you what it's like to be free."

--Tipper resigned from the group in 1992, after her husband became VP. --Of course, what everybody is talking about in light of the breakup is THE KISS. I'm referring to the tongue rasslin' match Al and Tipper engaged in during the Democratic National Convention in 2000. --As you may recall, Al was facing off against a happily married GEORGE W. BUSH for the presidency . . . and Bush was promising to restore honor and values to the White House. --Gore had to do whatever he could to distance himself from outgoing president BILLY CLINTON and his RESTLESS GROIN. So he shoved his tongue down his wife's throat on national TV. (--You can see the kiss here . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4MOSCnB4jw


IS DIVORCE BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT???

Here's an inconvenient truth for BIG AL GORE . . . divorce is BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT. (!!!) --That's according to scientists at Michigan State University . . . who say that in 2005, divorced people used 73 BILLION more kilowatt-hours of electricity and 627 BILLION more gallons of water than they would have if they'd stayed married. --Why? Because when a couple splits up, there end up being TWO homes to light, heat and cool. Plus, you're doubling up on things like appliances, vehicles and other possessions. --They didn't even calculate the amount of fuel that's burned up shuffling kids from one parent to another. --Here's some good news for Al: He can avoid all of this by . . . SHACKING UP. --Obviously, if either Al or Tipper were to enter into a SINFUL living arrangement with a new partner, they'd be sharing resources with another person again . . . thus offsetting their CARBON DIVORCE FOOTPRINT.


BRADLEY COOPER CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FREAKIN' HOT HE LOOKS IN THE NEW "A-TEAM" MOVIE:

BRADLEY COOPER can't wait for you to see the new "A-Team" movie . . . because he looks AMAZING in it. --He tells "Details" magazine, quote, "I had to literally transform my body. As the movie progressed, I got in increasingly better shape. --"There's this one fight scene with LIAM NEESON toward the end, where it's, like, the apex of the work . . . I swear to God, it looked like my head was digitally superimposed onto someone else's body. --"I was like, 'This cannot be me . . . that's the way I look?' 'Cause as a kid I only fantasized about looking that way." (--"The A-Team" comes out a week from this Friday. Cooper plays "Face" . . . the role that was played by DIRK BENEDICT on the original TV series.)


IS KHLOE KARDASHIAN PREGNANT???

This is far from confirmed, but RadarOnline.com claims that KHLOE KARDASHIAN is two months pregnant. -Khloe married Los Angeles Laker LAMAR ODOM last September . . . and they've admitted recently that while Lamar isn't actively trying to FETUS Khloe, they're not trying to NOT get pregnant, either. (--Some "sources" have already come out and said Khloe's NOT pregnant. We'll keep you posted.)


JANE LYNCH MARRIED HER GIRLFRIEND ON MONDAY:

Super-sexy 49-year-old "Glee" star JANE LYNCH married her girlfriend . . . a psychologist named Lara Embry . . . at the Blue Heron restaurant in Sunderland, Massachusetts on Monday. Both of them wore suits. --It was a small affair, with no celebrity guests. (--Obviously, they couldn't make The Big Mistake in California, where they live, because same-sex marriages aren't legal there.)


IAN ZIERING IS MARRIED AGAIN:

IAN ZIERING . . . one of the superstars from the ORIGINAL "90210" . . . got married to his girlfriend, a nurse named Erin Ludwig, in Newport Beach on Friday. --Guests included some of Ian's old co-stars . . . including JENNIE GARTH and her husband, PETER FACINELLI . . . JASON PRIESTLEY and his wife . . . and BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN and his more famous girlfriend, MEGAN FOX. (--This is Ian's second time making The Big Mistake. His first wife was "Playboy" Playmate NIKKI SCHIELER.)


HEIDI MONTAG SPEAKS . . . DO YOU CARE???

For those of you who care, HEIDI MONTAG spoke with "People" magazine yesterday about her separation from SPENCER PRATT. --She said, quote, "I needed some alone time. There are so many lies out there about me and I just needed space, even away from my husband. --"I had to get away from the lies my family and supposed friends are saying about me. It's time to concentrate on myself." --Still no word whether the split will be permanent. Heidi said, quote, "I've always loved Spencer, but right now we're working on things."


GARCELLE BEAUVAIS-NILON HAS FILED FOR DIVORCE:

Former "NYPD Blue" minx GARCELLE BEAUVAIS-NILON has filed for divorce from her husband of nine years, Michael Nilon. --Back in April, Garcelle found out Michael had been nailing another woman for FIVE YEARS. So she sent an email to the employees at the Hollywood talent agency where he works, revealing his philandering.


CHARLIE SHEEN WILL PROBABLY DO SOME JAIL TIME:

CHARLIE SHEEN will probably do some jail time for threatening his wife, BROOKE MUELLER, with a knife on Christmas. --Charlie has reached a deal with prosecutors in Aspen, Colorado, under which he'll plead no contest to a misdemeanor assault charge. It's expected that he'll be sentenced to 30 days behind bars. --With good behavior, he could be out in 15. --He's expected to enter his plea on Monday. --Charlie was DENIED permission to smoke while he's locked up. But he will be allowed to wear nicotine patches. (--Yesterday, Charlie and his ex-wife, DENISE RICHARDS, took their daughters, Sam and Lola, to Disneyland to celebrate Lola's birthday. She turned 5 yesterday.)


LINDSAY LOHAN GOT HER WISDOM TEETH REMOVED YESTERDAY . . . AND SHE CAN TAKE DRUGS FOR THE PAIN:

LINDSAY LOHAN got her wisdom teeth removed yesterday. And whether this is a good idea or not, she does have the court's permission to take pain medication. --For the record, the appointment was made long before Lindsay was ordered to undergo random drug testing last week.


TED KOPPEL'S SON DIED MONDAY MORNING AFTER A DAY OF DRINKING:

ANDREW KOPPEL . . . the 40-year-old son of veteran TV newsman TED KOPPEL . . . was found dead yesterday morning in a New York City hotel room, after spending most of Sunday drinking. --Koppel began drinking at around noon at a bar in the Hell's Kitchen section of the city. --There, he met and befriended a 32-year-old waiter named Russell Wimberly. Wimberly says, quote, "He had a straw hat on, and I had one on, and he said, 'Nice hat, man.' We got to talking, and he started buying me drinks." --Koppel then asked Wimberly to go bar hopping with him. Wimberly says Koppel was drinking straight whiskey . . . and swigging from a pint bottle of Jameson's in between the bars. --At 11:00 P.M., they stopped at a liquor store for more booze, then went to Wimberly's apartment in the Washington Heights neighborhood. --Wimberly's roommate, Belinda Caban, was there when they arrived. She said Koppel was so wasted, she couldn't even understand what he was saying. So she and Wimberly took him into a bedroom and laid him down. --A few hours later, when they checked in on him, they found that he'd soiled the bed . . . (--BOTH ways, if you know what I mean and I think you do) . . . and he didn't appear to be breathing. --They called 911, but the EMTs said he was already dead when they got there. --There's no word yet on the official cause of death. --Koppel . . . who was an attorney for the city's Housing Authority . . . lived in Queens with his girlfriend and their baby daughter. --In 1990, Koppel got into a minor accident while driving his dad's Mercedes drunk in their home state of Maryland. In 1993, he was ordered to rehab after getting loaded and punching a senatorial aide. --Ted Koppel and his wife Grace issued the following statement . . . quote, "Our son, Andrew, was a brilliant, caring man, whose loss we will mourn for the rest of our lives." (--Andrew was their only son, but they also have three daughters.)


DID GARY'S FATAL FALL OCCUR AFTER A BRUTAL ROUND OF DIALYSIS???

"Us Weekly" claims that GARY COLEMAN'S fatal fall last Wednesday at his Utah home occurred after a brutal round of kidney dialysis. --A friend says, quote, "Dialysis had taken a lot out of him that day. He just wanted to go home, but he was pretty weak. He had no strength at all." --The fall opened a one-inch gash on Gary's head, but caused a much more serious, internal hemorrhage that lead to his death. --Meanwhile, Gary's funeral will take place either Friday or Saturday at a funeral home in Salt Lake City. The family hasn't decided yet if it will be private or public. --Gary's estranged parents, Sue and Willie Coleman, WILL be there. (--Gary's relationship with them ended in 1990, after he sued them for allegedly stealing a huge part of his fortune. He won $1.3 million in the lawsuit.)


DENNIS HOPPER'S FUNERAL IS TODAY:

DENNIS HOPPER'S funeral takes place TODAY in Taos, New Mexico. Friends and family will be flown there from Los Angeles on two private planes. --Hopper loved Taos, and even lived there for a while. It's where he wrote, shot and edited his 1969 classic, "Easy Rider".


FOR SOME REASON, JAMES CAMERON MET WITH THE EPA ABOUT WAYS TO STOP THE BP OIL LEAK:

JAMES CAMERON met with officials from the Environmental Protection Agency yesterday, to brainstorm ideas about how to stop the BP oil leak. Cameron brought along a diving expert by the name of Phil Nuytten. He helped Cameron develop remote-control submersibles and other contraptions so he could film "The Abyss", "Titanic" and some of his underwater documentaries. --The meeting also included oil industry scientists and engineers.


"CELEBRITY REHAB" IS ON ICE, REPORTEDLY:

The next season of "Celebrity Rehab" was supposed to start shooting yesterday . . . but according to TMZ, it's been shelved because they haven't been able to get a cast --So far, producers have reportedly secured TILA TEQUILA . . . uninteresting reality train wreck JASON WAHLER . . . and BIZZY BONE of the rap group BONE THUGS-N-HARMONY, but that's it. --So-called "sources" say "Celebrity Rehab" went after LINDSAY LOHAN hard . . . offering her $1 million and her own show . . . but she turned them down. (--Not surprisingly.) --So for now, the future of the show seems to be up in the air . . . until they can land some "celebrities" that would inspire anyone to tune in.


SOMEONE STOLE CLOTHES FROM "THE TONIGHT SHOW":

Los Angeles police say that at least $5,600 worth of wardrobe was stolen from a "Tonight Show" facility. The clothes were for a fitting that was set up for the new "Tonight Show" band, headlined by RICKEY MINOR. --There's no line on who may have taken the items. (--It could have been a disgruntled KEVIN EUBANKS fan . . . a member of Team Coco . . . or, most likely, someone interested in illegally obtaining expensive suits for free.)


WEDNESDAY TV REMINDERS: (--Check your local listings.)

--"So You Think You Can Dance" [Auditions] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"America's Got Talent" [Auditions] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC.

--"Are We There Yet?" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TBS. (--It's based on the 2005 movie starring Ice Cube and Nia Long. Cube's not in it though. Their parts are played by Terry Crews and "Half & Half's" Essence Atkins.)

--"Dog the Bounty Hunter" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on A&E. (--Dog tracks down a birthday gift for his daughter Cecily's 16th birthday while hunting down a fugitive.)

--"Ghost Hunters Academy" [1st Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Syfy.

--"In Plain Sight" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on USA. (--Chesty minx Laura San Giacomo . . . who played Maya Gallo on "Just Shoot Me" . . . guest stars.)

--"Toddlers & Tiaras" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.


LADY GAGA HAS TESTED POSITIVE FOR "BORDERLINE LUPUS": (???)

There's been talk that LADY GAGA has been tested for LUPUS . . . a chronic, inflammatory autoimmune disorder in which the immune system begins attacking healthy cells and tissues. --And Lady Gaga addressed it in an appearance on "Larry King Live" last night. --She explained, quote, "You know, lupus is in my family and it is genetic. It's funny, 'cause my mother told me the other day that my fans were quite worried about me because I did talk about the fact that I was tested for lupus. --"The truth is I don't show any signs, any symptoms of lupus, but I have tested borderline positive for the disease, so as of right now I don't have it. But I have to take good care of myself." (--She's "tested borderline positive"? Yeah, we're just as confused as you are. My best guess is that, because of her family history, doctors have told her that she could be susceptible to the disease.) (--As for taking "good care" of herself, it's unclear what she could do. From a quick check online, it seems like the cause of lupus is still largely an unknown. However, researchers do believe that SMOKING could play a role.) (--For the record, Lady Gaga recently said she wasn't a regular smoker.) (--She said, quote, "I don't smoke. Well, maybe a single cigarette . . . with whiskey . . . while I'm working, because it just frees my mind a little bit.") --Lady Gaga dropped another bomb on "Larry King Live": That she was asked to OPEN for MICHAEL JACKSON during his planned residency at London's O2 Arena. Of course, Michael died . . . and those shows never ended up happening. --She said, quote, "I guess I can speak about it now. I was actually asked to open for Michael on his tour. We were going to open for him at the O2. --"And we were working on making it happen. And I suppose there was some talk about the openers doing some duets with Michael onstage. But Michael's death was devastating for me regardless of whether I was supposed to go on tour with him. --"He's such an inspiration and remarkable human being."
(--You can watch an excerpt from the interview, here . . .)
http://larrykinglive.blogs.cnn.com/2010/06/01/sneak-peak-does-lady-gaga-have-lupus/


BONO'S DAUGHTERS ARE BIGGER ACTIVISTS THAN HE IS:

BONO may be considered an activist first and a musician second . . . especially by fans who aren't into anything post-"Zooropa" . . . but he says his daughters are even BIGGER activists than he is. --He tells "Us" magazine, quote, "My kids are teaching me all the time. I have two girls [21-year-old Jordan and 18-year-old Memphis Eve] who are both activists. They're a total pain in the ass. If you think I'm a pain in the ass, they're worse. --"They will not accept that the loss of life . . . that we take as the way things are in these far off places . . . when they know it's so simple to change things. We just have to really want to." (--Bono also has two sons, but they're probably too young to be saving third-world countries. His son Elijah is 10 years old . . . and John is nine.)


JOHN MAYER IS SICK . . . SO HE ISN'T PERFORMING IN EUROPE:

JOHN MAYER has canceled some European tour dates because he's under the weather. It's unclear what's wrong, but he released a statement saying he's returning to the U.S., and, quote, "a full recovery is expected under a doctor's supervision." (--It's a long shot, but there's a chance it's Twitter withdrawal. John is in another one of his anti-Twitter moods. He has only posted one Tweet in the past five weeks. And it was a pretty weak one.)


THE ARIZONA STOP HAS BEEN DROPPED FROM THE LILITH FAIR TOUR . . . PROBABLY FOR POLITICAL REASONS:

Lilith Fair was scheduled to hit up Arizona on July 8th, but that show has been dropped from the tour. --No official explanation has been given, but the cancellation could have been for POLITICAL REASONS . . . meaning that it could be a boycott over Arizona's new and SLIGHTLY controversial immigration law. --A few weeks ago, GO-GO'S singer BELINDA CARLISLE . . . who IS on the tour . . . posted a Facebook message saying, quote, "The Go-Go's are encouraging Lilith to move this date to another state in protest of the new immigration law. --"We are NOT supporting the state government. I don't like mixing business and politics but I'm afraid I have to this time." But now that the show has been canceled, the Go-Go's have NO IDEA why.
--They released a statement saying, quote, "At this time, The Go-Go's have not been informed as to why the show was canceled. We regret the loss of the date on our farewell tour as we know we have many devoted fans in Arizona." (--SARAH MCLACHLAN has admitted that ticket sales have been lukewarm . . . but it's too much of a coincidence that it was the Arizona show that was axed.) (--But maybe it was a little of BOTH. Maybe the Arizona venue didn't have a secure perimeter . . . not enough security guards at the gate . . . and the Go-Go's weren't cool with them asking fans to prove they were ticket-holders.)


NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

A QUADRUPLE AMPUTEE IS GOING TO MAKE THE 22-MILE SWIM ACROSS THE ENGLISH CHANNEL:

Meet 42-year-old Philippe Croizon of Chatellerault, France (--about 200 miles southwest of Paris). --In 1994, Philippe was trying to fix a broken TV antenna when it grazed an overhead power line, and sent 20,000 volts of electricity through his body. --Philippe's injuries were so severe he had to have both arms and legs amputated. --Which is why it's pretty insane that later this summer, Philippe plans to make the 22-mile SWIM across the English Channel. --Apparently, Philippe became inspired to swim the Channel when he was still recovering in the hospital. And for the last two years, he's been training for more than four hours a day to get ready for his swim. --Philippe says, quote, "At first my parents thought the idea was mad, but I was determined to carry on. The more I practice in the sea, the more I feel confident . . . This is a dream and I'm determined to fulfill it." --Philippe expects the swim to take about 24 hours. (Daily Mail)


A COUPLE IN IRELAND HAD A KID TOGETHER BEFORE FINDING OUT THEY'RE HALF-SIBLINGS:

If you think you're unlucky in the love department, there's a couple in Dublin, Ireland, that wants you to SHUT THE HELL UP! -Their names are James and Maura. Actually, those aren't their real names, they're aliases. And here's why they're using them. --James and Maura met at a nightclub a few years ago. They immediately hit it off, and after two years together, Maura got pregnant. But here's the thing . . --In all that time, James never introduced Maura to his family. He'd never had great relationships with his relatives, and it didn't seem like a big deal. But after their son was born, Maura decided it was time to finally meet James' mother. --So they all got together last Christmas, and James' mom started asking Maura about her family. Eventually, the questions got more and more specific, until James' mother freaked out and ran out of the room. --A few days later, James' mother called to tell him that Maura is his HALF-SISTER. --Apparently, when she was 19, James' mother had a short relationship with Maura's father. It didn't last long, and by the time James was born, his mother was already involved with another man. --Since James' mother wanted him to think the NEW guy was his biological father, she never bothered to tell him who his REAL dad was. --Anyway, James and Maura took DNA tests last month just to be certain. And, sure enough, the results confirmed that they're half-siblings. But listen to this . . . --They say they still plan to stay together, and they're talking about getting married. Which technically would be illegal in Ireland . . . hence the aliases. And they're even thinking about having more kids. --James says, quote, "I'm not blind and I'm not oblivious to what people might think. We're not from a bad background, and if someone had said to me that they were in a relationship like this, I would have said they were sickos . . . --"When I got the phone call with the DNA tests, it was like when you hear about someone you know has died, or like when you are in a car crash. The shock is not physical. It's that sinking feeling in your stomach, which comes all over you . . . --"People [hearing] this will think our situation is a one-off, and that the chances of this happening are the same as the chances of winning the lottery. But every week someone wins the lottery." (Daily Mail)


OBVIOUS STUDY OF THE DAY: SHOPLIFTERS TEND TO BE MEN WHO ARE JERKS:

It never ceases to amaze me all the ridiculous studies that somehow manage to get funding. Here's what I'm talking about . . . --Researchers at the University of Leicester in England wanted to find out which personality types are most likely to shoplift. --So they conducted a study, and what they found is that men who are, quote, "unpleasant and antisocial" or "disorganized and unreliable" are more likely to shoplift than anyone else. --In other words, shoplifters tend to be guys who are jerks. --A guy named Vincent Egan co-led the study. He says, quote, "There's this stereotype of elderly women stealing tins of salmon, but that's not what we found. --"My results suggest dishonest consumer behavior is narrowly associated with how unpleasant and disorganized you are." --If you're wondering, the National Retail Security Survey reports that in 2008, shoplifters stole $12.7 BILLION worth of goods, accounting for 35% of all retail losses. (ABC News)


INMATES IN OKLAHOMA ARE BEING FORCED TO WEAR HOT PINK SHIRTS WITH YELLOW STRIPED PANTS:

Up until last year, prisoners wore ORANGE jumpsuits at the Cleveland County Prison in Norman, Oklahoma (--about 20 miles south of Oklahoma City). --But the County Sheriff . . . a guy named John Whetsel . . . decided the old orange jumpsuits weren't unique enough. So now prisoners at Cleveland County wear HOT PINK shirts with yellow and white striped pants. --The new uniforms are definitely different, and they have the added benefit of being really humiliating. Though for the record, prison officials swear that's NOT what they were going for. --According to a police spokesman, quote, "We want our inmates to be identifiable. If one of them slips over the wall, we want to know about it right away." (Oklahoman)


NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) HERE'S A CAT HICCUPPING AND FARTING AT THE SAME TIME:
We're not sure if the audio's real, but there's a video making the rounds online that shows a cat hiccupping and farting at the same time. But really: Does a video that shows a cat hiccupping and farting NEED to be real? (--Search for "lazy cat coughs farts same time.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPWaQKuqENU


#2.) HERE'S A COVER BAND DRUMMER GOING OFF:
There's a cover band in West Virginia called Rick K. & The Allnighters, and their drummer likes to go OFF. Although, for as much flailing and stick-twirling as he does, his drumming doesn't actually SOUND all that crazy. (--Here he is drumming to the ZZ Top song "Sharp Dressed Man." Search for "drummer can't contain the rock." He really gets going around :32.)
http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2010/06/01


#3.) A KID FELL DOWN AN ESCALATOR AND SMASHED A LIGHT WITH HIS HEAD:
A kid tripped while he was stumbling down an escalator, then his head smashed into a lighting fixture, and he fell backward down the stairs. (--Search for "kid smashes escalator lamp with head.")
http://www.break.com/index/kid-smashes-escalator-lamp-with-head.html



TEN SIGNS YOU'RE OUT OF TOUCH WITH TECHNOLOGY:

AskMen.com has a list of the top ten signs you're out of touch with technology. Some are legit, but don't feel bad if you fit into a few of these categories. It might just mean you're not a total technology dork . . .

#10.) YOUR TERMINOLOGY IS OUT OF DATE. People don't really say things like "information superhighway" anymore. And you don't "surf the web" or look something up on "the Net." You "go online," or "Google it."

#9.) YOU LIVE IN NORTH KOREA. They have their own version of the Internet, and their own operating system called "Red Star OS." And they're about 10 years out of date. But if you live in North Korea, that's probably the least of your problems.

#8.) YOU STILL HAVE A VCR. This one's like having an eight-track player in your car in the late '80s. The difference is, people still have old home movies recorded on video, so VCRs are actually still useful now and then.

#7.) YOU STILL HAVE A LANDLINE. It's true: A lot of people THINK having a home phone line is a dated concept. But landlines generally do sound better, you don't have to worry about dropping calls, and the international rates are WAY better.

#6.) YOU HAVE A "CELL PHONE," NOT A "SMART PHONE." According to AskMen.com, if you still have a regular old flip phone, you're living in the past. --But not everybody NEEDS to access email and the Internet on their phone. And if you don't NEED to, then you shouldn't spend the extra money on a data plan.

#5.) YOU STILL USE A DESKTOP COMPUTER. Laptops are more expensive, but you can take them anywhere, and you don't have to clear out an entire corner of a room to set one up. And now that the iPad's out, the desktop seems even MORE ancient.

#4.) YOU DON'T USE WIRELESS INTERNET. If you're still plugging a giant cable straight into your computer to get online, invest in a wireless router. --Once you've got one, you can access the Internet wirelessly from anywhere in your house or apartment. And most laptops have wireless cards built into them now.

#3.) YOU STILL LISTEN TO CD'S. Here's another one that's not quite fair. Most people still have a CD player in their car, not an MP3 player. So it makes sense to hang onto your collection. --And if you know what to listen for, CDs actually sound BETTER than MP3s.

#2.) YOU DON'T USE TIVO OR DVR. There's no need to rush home before your favorite show starts anymore. You can just set it to automatically record. Plus, you can fast forward through the commercials.

#1.) YOU STILL HAVE AN AOL EMAIL ADDRESS. According to AskMen.com, AOL is out, and Gmail is now the coolest email option.
(AskMen.com)

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