HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (11-09-10)
MICHAEL JACKSON MADNESS
JOE JACKSON FINALLY ADMITS HE USED A STRAP TO WHIP HIS KIDS:
OPRAH WINFREY'S pre-taped and much-hyped interview with MICHAEL JACKSON'S family finally aired on yesterday's "Oprah". --And I would say that the big reveal was this: JOE JACKSON finally admitted that he used a strap to punish his kids and keep them in line. --First, though, he tried to deny it. He said, quote, "I never beated Michael like the media tried to say. That never happened." (--And yes, he said "beated".) --But after a little more prodding, Joe admitted that he WHIPPED his kids with a strap. But apparently, he doesn't consider that "beating". --Katherine also helped pull it out of him by saying, quote, "You might as well admit it, that's the way black people raised their children." --But Joe defended his method, saying, quote, "It kept them outta trouble, outta jail. My kids never been in jail before. Nine kids never been to jail."
(--Here's video . . .)
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=9aec7527-1b23-471d-95b8-f1070c1d5c44
KATHERINE JACKSON SAYS MICHAEL TOOK THE PLASTIC SURGERY TOO FAR . . . AND REVEALS THAT SHE SPOKE TO MICHAEL ABOUT HIS DRUG USE:
In that interview that aired yesterday on "Oprah", KATHERINE JACKSON said that MICHAEL definitely took his plastic surgery too far. --She said Michael had problems with his appearance beginning in adolescence. One of those problems was his skin condition, vitiligo. Michael was afraid it would make him look like, quote, "a spotted cow." --She added, quote, "I don't know what in the world he did to change that, but he did." --She also said Michael had multiple surgeries on his nose . . . and it kept getting smaller and smaller, to the point where, quote, "it looked like a toothpick at one time." --She added, quote, "I hear that people get addicted to plastic surgery, and I think that's what happened to him. I said, that's enough." She even had words with Michael's plastic surgeon. Obviously, nobody listened. --Katherine also says she confronted Michael about his alleged drug use not long before his death . . . quote, "I spoke to him about [drugs] once, when I had heard it and he denied it. --"I was telling him I didn't want to one day hear that he had overdosed because it would break my heart . . . He kept saying, 'My own mother don't believe me.' Part of me wanted to believe him, but I didn't believe him." --Katherine also revealed that it was DR. CONRAD MURRAY who had to inform them at the hospital that Michael was dead . . . which is pretty cruel irony. --But Katherine still isn't sure how to feel about the situation . . . quote, "Why didn't he take care of my child? Why did he give that [propofol] to him? It's very dangerous, why did he do it? --"I can't accuse him of murder, I don't know if it was accidentally done or it was intentionally done. I don't want to get into that, but I have my thoughts . . . I don't think I'll ever, ever be healed . . . It hurts." --Not surprisingly, she called that day, quote, "The worst day of my life."
(--Here's video of Katherine talking about going to the hospital . . .)
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=9f9d0e6a-380e-47ad-944f-d4d105f26218
-One last note from Katherine . . . She had no idea Michael was going to marry LISA MARIE PRESLEY, until after he already did. --But he called Katherine after the fact, and put Lisa Marie on the phone with her. And at first, Katherine didn't believe it was really her. --She said, quote, "She had a heavy voice and I didn't know that. She sounded like a black girl."
LINDSAY LOHAN WANTS TO START HER OWN REHAB CLINICS . . . AND HER DAD VISITED HER AT BETTY FORD ON SUNDAY:
Imagine 30 years from now . . . a celebrity has a problem with drugs or alcohol, and instead of heading off to Betty Ford, he checks himself into LINDSAY LOHAN. It could happen. --DINA LOHAN was on the "Today" show yesterday, and she said Lindsay wants to, quote, "start her own facilities to help other children. She's so public, we can only be positive and look to the future to help other families." --Dina called Betty Ford, quote, "an amazing place", and added that Lindsay is having, quote, "a life-changing experience" there. -But she wasn't willing to say this will be Lindsay's last time in rehab . . . quote, "We'll take it one day at a time. I don't have a crystal ball. I pray hard." --Lindsay has been ordered to remain at Betty Ford until January 3rd . . . and it sounds like she's not trying to get out early, as she's done so many times before. --Dina said, quite, "Lindsay wants to stay. She's learning the trigger points and why she turns to something; drugs or addiction." (--Here's some video . . .) http://www.eonline.com/videos/v91531_dina-lohan-reports-on-lindsay.html --MEANWHILE . . . Lindsay got a visit on Sunday from her psycho dad, MICHAEL LOHAN . . . and it sounds like everything went well. --Lindsay's therapist actually encouraged the visit . . . but Michael had to meet several conditions before he was allowed to see her. --Most importantly, he had to make a public statement vowing to stop speaking to the media about her. (--A lot of people made fun of Michael for making a public statement saying he would no longer make public statements. But now we see that it wasn't even his idea. So there you go.) --Michael and Lindsay actually left Betty Ford for a while, to do some shopping in Palm Desert, California. A so-called "source" says, quote, "She appeared genuinely happy to be spending time with her father." --RadarOnline.com got some pictures, but check this out: When they asked Michael to comment on his day with Lindsay, he REFUSED. Maybe Lindsay's not the only one who's finally taking this seriously. (--You can see the pics here . . .)http://www.radaronline.com/photos/image/98479/2010/11/photos-lindsay-lohan-and-michael-lohan-pictured-together
CHARLIE SHEEN ISN'T PANICKING:
Is it possible that we made way too big of a deal out of CHARLIE SHEEN'S hotel shenanigans last month? He thinks so. --He tells "Extra", quote, "If a guy has one bad night, everybody goes insane and panics. I'm not panicking." --All he's concerning himself with right now is taping new episodes of "Two and a Half Men". He says, quote, "Just finished a show. Back to work. Everything's good, everything's good." --It sounds like Charlie is admitting that this chaos started over the loss of a $150,000 watch. Because he also says, quote, "The way I look at it, if you have expensive tastes, you gotta be prepared for expensive losses."
IS CHRISTINA AGUILERA DATING A CREW MEMBER FROM HER NEW MOVIE?
CHRISTINA AGUILERA was spotted on a DOUBLE-DATE Saturday night with NICOLE RICHIE and JOEL MADDEN. --Christina's alleged date was Matthew Rutler . . . who worked as a set assistant on Christina's upcoming movie, "Burlesque". (--Which hits theaters on Wednesday, November 24th.) --The four of them went to dinner at a place called SoHo House in Hollywood. Afterward, Matthew tried to HIDE under a blanket in the backseat of Christina's car . . . which Joel was driving. -Christina and Matthew met long before Christina filed for divorce from her husband, Jordan Bratman. But so-called "sources" say they were NOT having an affair. --Supposedly, Christina and Jordan had been having problems for quite a while . . . and Matthew was just a shoulder to cry on during work hours. But after the marriage fell apart, Christina and Matthew took their friendship to the next level.
IF LADY GAGA WANTED YOUR BOYFRIEND, WOULD YOU FIGHT IT? THIS CHICK DIDN'T:
Girls . . . if LADY GAGA had designs on your man, and was determined to get him, would you fight to keep him? Alex Stebbins didn't. --Alex is a 21-year-old actress, and she started dating a guy named LUC CARL after meeting him in August of 2009. At the time, Luc was Gaga's ex-boyfriend. --But a few months into their relationship, Gaga decided she wanted Luc back. So she started calling and texting him. He ignored her for a while, and told Alex he didn't want her back. --But this past summer, he changed his mind. And Alex basically just stepped aside. --She says, quote, "It was really hard to be with someone who has a really famous ex-girlfriend who would stop at nothing to get him back. --"I wasn't going to go toe to toe with Lady Gaga, because that's like fighting Jesus. She's the most powerful woman in the world, and there's no winning."
GRETCHEN MOL IS PREGNANT AGAIN . . . CAN SHE COME UP WITH AN EVEN WORSE NAME THAN "PTOLEMY" THIS TIME?
Actress GRETCHEN MOL is pregnant again. There's no word on her due date. This will be the second child for Gretchen and her husband, writer (slash) director Kip Williams. --It'll be interesting to see if they can come up with an even more pretentiously ridiculous name than they did for the son they welcomed into the world three years ago. That poor boy's name is PTOLEMY. (???) (--Ptolemy is pronounced Tahl-lemme. He was a Roman mathematician, astronomer, geographer and astrologer who lived from the year 90 to 168 A.D.) --Gretchen is on that new HBO series "Boardwalk Empire". But it's on hiatus now, so her pregnancy won't affect filming. Williams directed "Paranormal Activity 2", which is in theaters now.
ROBERT PATTINSON AND KRISTEN STEWART WERE CAUGHT MAKING OUT IN RIO . . . BUT THEY WERE FILMING "BREAKING DAWN" AT THE TIME:
ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART were photographed making out in Rio the other day. But it was no big revelation. They were just filming a scene for "Breaking Dawn".
ADAM SANDLER SPENT $800,000 ON CARS FOR HIS "GROWN UPS" CO-STARS:
CHRIS ROCK woke up a few days ago and found a $200,000 Maserati sitting in his driveway. It was a gift from his "Grown Ups" co-star ADAM SANDLER, just to celebrate the fact that the movie was a hit. --Adam did the same for their other co-stars, DAVID SPADE, ROB SCHNEIDER and KEVIN JAMES . . . which means that he splashed out $800,000 on cars for these guys. Not that he can't easily afford it. --Rock says, quote, "I went outside the other day and I had a new Maserati in the driveway. Now I think that I'm Adam Sandler's (B-word). The movie's like the biggest thing for [Sandler], he appreciates the help." (--"Grown Ups" hits DVD and Blu-ray today.)
ROBERT DOWNEY JR. IS NOW THE VOICE OF MR. PEANUT:
ROBERT DOWNEY JR.'S incredible comeback has reached a new high . . . for he has just been chosen by the Planters company to be the new voice of MR. PEANUT. --This is a NEW MILLENNIUM Mr. Peanut, though. He's actually the color of a peanut, instead of yellow, like the old version. Plus, he gets to wear a shirt and suit jacket this time . . . but STILL NO PANTS. --Most importantly . . . although probably most obviously . . . this one TALKS. Up until now, Mr. Peanut never did.
(--Here's Robert Downey Jr.'s first Mr. Peanut ad . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBE3mby0p6M
HARRISON FORD IS LOOKING FORWARD TO "INDIANA JONES 5":
If you're still trying to get the sour taste of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" out of your mouth, then you probably won't want to hear this . . . --HARRISON FORD says he's looking forward to the FIFTH "Indy" flick. Not that it's happening any time soon. --He tells MTV News, quote, "It's on George Lucas' plate, and I'm hoping he's working hard at it, because I'd look forward to doing it again if the three of us could get together . . . George, Steven Spielberg and myself. I'd love to do another." (--Harrison Ford is 68 . . . so you have to wonder what he'll still be capable of by the time cameras could roll on a fifth "Indy". To put it into perspective, Sean Connery was only 59 when the third "Indy" came out.)
MIKE WHITE WILL DIRECT "PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES":
MIKE WHITE has been hired to direct "Pride and Prejudice and Zombie". Mike is probably best known as a screenwriter, whose films include "The Good Girl", "School of Rock" and "Nacho Libre". --SCARLETT JOHANSSON and BRADLEY COOPER are supposedly lined up to star in it . . . but that isn't official yet.
AMC HAS PICKED UP "THE WALKING DEAD" FOR A SECOND SEASON:
AMC's awesome new zombie show, "The Walking Dead", has already been picked up for a second season. (--Even if you're not familiar with the comic it's based on, check it out. You can watch the first episode at AMCTV.com, here.) --The show has been setting all kinds of ratings records for AMC. The first episode attracted 5.3 million viewers on Halloween night. That was the biggest premiere in AMC history . . . and the most-watched debut on cable this year. --The second episode, which aired this past Sunday night, drew 4.7 million viewers. That means it retained nearly 89% of its audience, which is pretty damn good. --Season One will only have six episodes. The finale is scheduled to air on December 5th. It's too early to say when Season Two might start, but there's word that production will begin in February.
TIM ALLEN HAS A NEW SITCOM IN THE WORKS:
Former "Home Improvement" superstar TIM ALLEN has a new sitcom in development at ABC. It's called "Man Up" . . . and Tim will play a guy who's, quote, "fighting for his manhood in a world of women." --It's in the pilot stage right now, which means that they'll be assembling a cast soon. If everything works out, it could be up for a spot on ABC's fall schedule next year.
MIKE "THE SITUATION" ARRANGES HIS LIFE AROUND HIS WORKOUTS:
This probably won't come as a shock to you: "Jersey Shore" stud MIKE "THE SITUATION" intentionally structures his entire day around his gym workouts. --He tells "Men's Fitness", quote, "Every day when I wake up I gotta go to the gym. I arrange my other activities around my workout. I have to organize my mind, body and health first." --The Situation's secret is doing "isometric contractions" . . . or basically muscle flexing . . . throughout the day. He says he does it, quote, "while I'm walking, I do it. On airplanes, I do it. In cars . . . --"I do it so when somebody asks, 'Hey, can I see your abs?' It's always there." --OK, he may not be modest . . . but he's not perfect either. Here's Mike using a super lame inspirational line in the same interview. --When asked if he thought he could branch off and do movies, The Situation responded, quote, "I shoot for the stars. If I get to the moon, I'm OK with that."
TUESDAY TV REMINDERS: (--Check your local listings.)
--"No Ordinary Family" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Jackson Rathbone guest stars when Daphne uses her telepathy to help him and his family after they are victims of a home invasion. He plays Jasper Hale in the "Twilight" movies.)
--"NCIS" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Robert Wagner returns as DiNozzo's father when Gibbs asks for his help in a sensitive murder case.)
--"One Tree Hill" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on theCW. (--NFL star Tony Gonzalez stars as himself when Nathan's job takes him to Atlanta.)
--"Dancing with the Stars" [Results] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Taio Cruz, John Legend, The Roots, and 9-year-old piano prodigy Emily Bear perform.)
--"The Bad Girls Club" [5th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Oxygen.
--"360 Sessions" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on IFC. (--Alphabet performs.)
--"The Good Wife" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Michael J. Fox guest stars as opposing counsel in a class-action law suit against a pharmaceutical company.)
--"The Fashion Show" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo. (--Supermodel Iman and fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi host as two teams of six designers compete in this "Project Runway" / "Survivor" fashion show.)
--"Auction Hunters" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on SpikeTV.
--"Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TruTV.
NEW ON VIDEO TODAY
--"Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" - Michael Cera plays a dorky kid who falls for a hot chick . . . and then has to "defeat" her seven evil exes in video game style. It was directed and co-written by Edgar Wright . . . one of the geniuses behind "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz".
--"Ramona & Beezus" - This movie adaptation stars Selena Gomez as Beezus, and 10-year-old newcomer Joey King as her annoying little sister Ramona. John Corbett and Bridget Moynahan play their parents, and Sandra Oh from "Gray's Anatomy" is in it as Ramona's teacher.
--"Grown Ups" - Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, and Rob Schneider play former teammates who reunite after the death of their basketball coach, and spend a Fourth of July weekend reliving their "glory days".
--"Charlie St. Cloud" - After surviving a car accident that killed his little brother, Zac Efron starts spending more time with his brother's ghost than real people. A hot chick named Amanda Crew eventually tempts him back to the real world.
--"Antichrist" - Willem Dafoe and British minx Charlotte Gainsbourg retreat to an isolated cabin to mourn the loss of their son, who died while they were having sex. The film quickly degenerates into DISTURBING sexual violence as one of them loses their grip on reality.
--"Love Ranch" - Joe Pesci and Helen Mirren play a husband and wife running one of Nevada's first legal brothels. While he's having affairs with half the whores that work for them, she falls in love with a boxer . . . and her affair ultimately ends in MURDER.
TV SERIES ON DVD:
--"The Boondocks: The Complete Third Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.
--"Californication: The Third Season" . . . a two-disc DVD set. (--The whole series is also available today as a six-disc "Three Season Pack". The show will return for its fourth season in January.)
--"Lie to Me: Season Two" . . . a six-disc DVD set.
--"Men of a Certain Age: The Complete First Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.
--"Doctor Who: The Complete Fifth Series" . . . a six-disc DVD set.
--"Sherlock: Season One" . . . a two-disc DVD set of the BBC series. It stars a guy you never heard of as Sherlock Holmes and Martin Freeman as Dr. Watson. Freeman will play Bilbo Baggins in the "Hobbit" movies.
--"Golden Girls: 25th Anniversary Complete Collection" . . . a 21-disc DVD set. (--It ran for seven seasons.)
NEW MUSIC OUT TODAY
--"Now That's What I Call Music! 36" . . . Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Maroon 5, Adam Lambert, B.o.B, Nelly, Paramore, Daughtry, Chris Brown, Usher, Taio Cruz, Neon Trees, Sick Puppies, OneRepublic, Sarah Bareilles, and Sugarland.
--"Now That's What I Call The 1990s" . . . an alternative music collection that includes Sheryl Crow, Lisa Loeb, Meredith Brooks, the Spin Doctors, Tonic, Collective Soul, Barenaked Ladies, Blind Melon, Live, and Everclear.
--"Q: Soul Bossa Nostra", Quincy Jones (--Fresh versions of songs by music producer Quincy Jones. Some of the highlights include T-Pain and Robin Thicke performing "P.Y.T.", and Jamie Foxx singing "Give Me the Night".) (--Plus T.I. and B.o.B collaborate on a rap version of "Sanford and Son". Other artists on the disc include Akon, John Legend, Jennifer Hudson, Snoop Dogg, Wyclef Jean, Ludacris, Talib Kweli, Three 6 Mafia, and Amy Winehouse.)
--"Greatest Hits - The Ultimate Collection", Bon Jovi (--A double-CD set. It includes two new songs: "What Do You Got?" and "No Apologies".)
--"Viva ELVIS - The Album", Elvis Presley (--It's described as "the songs of Elvis, all shook up." For example, there are backup singers and another music track to "Can't Help Falling In Love", and a heavier drum beat added to "Suspicious Minds".)
(--You'll see what I'm talking about here. Just click on a title to sample it.)
TODAY'S NEW VIDEO GAMES
THE NEW "CALL OF DUTY" HIT STORES AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT:
--"Call of Duty: Black Ops" (M) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, Wii, PC and DS. The seventh "Call of Duty" is set during the Cold War era of the '60s, with combat in places like Laos, Cuba, and Vietnam. Here's the trailer. And here's what else you need to know: A new in-game currency has been added for purchasing weapon customizations, etc. But the best part is now there's something called Wager Matches that will let you put your money where your mouth is in a set of free-for-all games. Check it out . . .
• One in the Chamber: You only have one bullet, but each kill earns you another one.
• Sticks and Stones: No guns at all. You get a crossbow, a ballistic knife for stabbing, and a tomahawk as your throwing knife.
• Gun Game: Everyone starts with a pistol and you have to work your way up through 20 different weapons. But you'll lose your progress if someone knifes you.
• Sharpshooter: You all get the same random weapon. It rotates every 45 seconds.
"Black Ops" will also include a Zombie Co-Op mode just like "World at War". The four original zombie maps from "World at War" will be available in the collector's editions.
And if you've ever been the only English-speaking player on a team . . . or repeatedly team-killed by screaming Australians who don't like the lag of an American host, then you'll LOVE the Regional Matchmaking filter that lets you play with local people only.
New killstreaks include a Remote Control Car that you can use for recon or to carry explosives to an enemy sniper. And they've finally brought back the ability to have a Split Screen Guest in multiplayer, which hasn't been available since "Call of Duty 3".
As always, the new "Call of Duty" release is a pretty big deal, so there's not a lot of competition hitting stores today. The only other new game worth mentioning is. . .
--"Monster Jam 3: Path of Destruction" (E) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, Wii, PC, DS and PSP. A monster truck game that includes the ability to customize your own trucks, or use fan-favorites like Grave Digger, Maximum Destruction, and Grinder.
MICHAEL JACKSON'S FULL "BREAKING NEWS" SONG IS STREAMING:
As expected, the full version of MICHAEL JACKSON'S "new" single, "Breaking News", is streaming on MichaelJackson.com. It'll be up all this week. (--Enjoy.) --It'll be released on the upcoming album, "Michael", which comes out on December 14th. The disc features all previously unreleased songs, which Michael recorded at some point before his death. Obviously.
SOME IDIOT STOLE GIFTS FROM THE GRAVESITE OF SLIPKNOT BASSIST PAUL GRAY:
Some IDIOT stole gifts from the gravesite of former SLIPKNOT bassist PAUL GRAY, who died in May. -The band posted a message on MySpace that reads, quote, "In a very upsetting turn of events, we have learned that some gifts left for Paul at his grave site have been stolen. --"There were statues of a gargoyle as well as a Buddah that were placed at Paul's grave by his friends and family that were taken. --"We ask that whoever did this please return the items no questions asked. If anyone has any information about the stolen items please let us know by posting in the comments. Thank you for your continued support in this trying time."
(--Here's the link . . .)
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=3646959&blogId=540492839
AKON IS BUILDING A UNIVERSITY IN AFRICA:
AKON has done some stupid things in his career. Like the time he simulated sex with an underage fan onstage at a concert. --Or how about when he threw a male teenager off the stage at another concert, because the kid had tossed something at Akon from the crowd? --Now, Akon is doing some GOOD things, and it's only fair to tell you about them. --Akon has started something called the Konfidence Foundation . . . and that's "Konfidence" with a "K" . . . to help underprivileged children in Africa. (--Akon was born in Senegal.)
-He has already used profits from touring to open an elementary school in Senegal . . . and now, he's hoping to build both a university and a hospital there. --Akon says, quote, "We feel like education doesn't mean anything if you aren't healthy. Between health and education those are the two key things to rebuild any country. --"We want to start with the kids because they have a lot more growing up to do and a lot more to give in order to create a future for ourselves." (--Akon has an album called "Akonic" in the pipeline, but there's no official release date yet.)
KANYE WEST SPIT SOME RAPS TO THE PASSENGERS ON A COMMERCIAL FLIGHT LAST WEEK:
On Friday, KANYE WEST was on a Delta flight from Minneapolis to New York City . . . and about 30 minutes into the flight, he hopped on the loudspeaker and rapped a few lines to the passengers. --The raps were from a couple old tracks . . . "The Good Life" and "Gold Digger". (--Here's video . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EazHeC3IYw
TUESDAY'S SHOWBIZ QUICK HITS
Former "Access Hollywood" co-anchor NANCY O'DELL will replace MARY HART on "Entertainment Tonight" sometime next year. Mary is retiring after nearly 30 years on the show.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20440458,00.html
Briefly suspended MSNBC host KEITH OLBERMANN has apologized to his fans . . . but not NBC News . . . for the, quote, "unnecessary drama" that resulted from him donating money to political candidates. And he doesn't sound too happy with how he was punished "without a hearing." (--He'll be back tonight.)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101109/ap_on_en_tv/us_tv_olbermann_suspension
Fox will premiere a new game show called "Million Dollar Money Drop" on December 20th. Here's how it works: Pairs of contestants will start with $1 million . . . and to keep it, they'll have to correctly answer seven multiple-choice questions.
http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/11/08/fox-million-dollar-money-drop/
Tonight's "Glee" will feature KATY PERRY'S "Teenage Dream". The episode will also "take on bullying, especially [toward] gay teens." Here's a preview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPD72scm_k8
RELATED COMEDY: Katy Perry says she won't be doing "Playboy". I don't blame her. Why bother when you can show just as much on "Sesame Street"?
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
TODAY'S NEWS, IN BRIEF:
#1.) Last week, 84% of parents in the U.S. bought their kids fast food. And 66% of those went to McDonald's. The survey also found that 15% of PRESCHOOLERS ask their parents to take them to McDonald's DAILY. (Full story)
#2.) If you regret posting things on Facebook or Twitter when you're drunk, a new browser app at SocialMediaSobrietyTest.com will block you from posting on drunken nights unless you pass a sobriety test. (Full story)
#3.) A team in England is working on a new phone app that will test you for STDs . . . by having you PEE on your phone. There's no word when it might come out, but they believe it could help cut down on the spread of STDs. (Full story)
#4.) A new study finds that having lots of sex is GOOD for your heart . . . but that having lots of sex during an affair is BAD for your heart, thanks to all the added stress. (Full story)
#5.) Someone in Detroit won the $128.6 MILLION Powerball jackpot on Saturday, but they haven't come forward yet. Maybe because they bought the ticket at an adult bookstore . . . and they're too embarrassed to admit it. (Full story)
#6.) A Catholic priest in Massachusetts has been arrested for embezzling $83,000 worth of church funds and using it on PORNO. Over the past six years he bought a ton of pay-per-view smut, and ran up a $25,000 tab online. (Full story)
#7.) A 48-year-old man in Florida was arrested for playing with himself in public, right in front of a cop. But he claimed he was just applying hemorrhoid cream. So the cop took the tube and found it wasn't Preparation H . . . it was K-Y Jelly. (Full Story)
#8.) Before you hit an outlet mall this holiday shopping season, know this: These days, most of the stuff there is lower-quality stuff manufactured specifically for the outlet store . . . and it might be full price. (Full story)
#9.) If you love the TURDUCKEN . . . a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey . . . try the CHERPUMPLE this Thanksgiving. It's apple, cherry, and pumpkin pies all baked into a giant cake and covered with frosting. (Full story)
#10.) WAKE UP! According to a new Triple-A survey, one out of nine drivers say they've fallen asleep at the wheel THIS YEAR. Overall, about two out of every five drivers say they've fallen asleep at the wheel. (Full story)
#11.) On Saturday, a group of bridesmaids in Massachusetts was CARJACKED in their limo on the way to the wedding. They escaped, shook it off, and managed to keep it a secret from the bride until after the ceremony. (Full story)
#12.) As if you needed another reason to hate Al Qaeda, a new report says they once tried to turn DOGS into SUICIDE BOMBERS by sewing explosives inside them. Sadly for the dogs, but luckily for us, the dogs died before they could be put onboard. (Full Story)
#13.) A man in Cleveland got out of jury duty when the judge asked if he knew someone who'd been convicted of a crime, and the guy told the judge about one of his close childhood friends . . . JEFFREY DAHMER. (Full story)
84% OF PARENTS FED THEIR KIDS FAST FOOD LAST WEEK:
It's no huge mystery why so many of today's kids are shaped like spheres. They DEMAND fast food and their parents are more than willing to feed that addiction. --According to a new study by the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University, 84% of American parents fed their kids fast food in the past week. Specifically, 66% took their kids to McDonald's. --The study also found that 40% of parents say their kid asks to go to McDonald's at least once a week, and 15% of PRESCHOOLERS demand to go EVERY DAY. (The Consumerist)
DOWNLOAD THE NEW APP THAT KEEPS YOU FROM "DRUNK FACEBOOKING":
Once you post something on Facebook or Twitter, it's out there permanently. Facebook doesn't care that you were hammered when you wrote it. There are no second chances in the digital age. --If you have a bad habit of social networking under the influence, a new web app could REALLY help you out. It's called the Social Media Sobriety Test, and it's a free plugin for the Firefox web browser. (--If you don't know what that is, you don't have it.) --With the app, before you go out for the night, you tell it to lock you out of sites like Facebook and Twitter for a certain number of hours. And during those hours, the only way you can post is to pass a sobriety test, like typing the alphabet backwards. http://www.socialmediasobrietytest.com/
A NEW APP MAY TEST YOU FOR STDS . . . BY HAVING YOU PEE ON YOUR CELL PHONE:
This may be the moment when phone apps have PEAKED. After this one, everything's downhill from here. A team in the U.K. is finishing up an app that would test you for STDs . . . by having you PEE on your cell phone. --You'd install the app, then attach a small computer chip through a port on your phone. You pee all over it . . . or use saliva, if you're not as cool . . . and it will use cutting-edge technology to figure out what STDs you have within minutes. --Several public health groups and investors have poured millions of dollars worth of funding into it, and they believe it can be a REALLY helpful way to cut down on the spread of STDs. There's no word on when it could be available. (The Guardian)
HAVING LOTS OF SEX IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEART . . . UNLESS YOU'RE CHEATING:
If you're the kind of a-hole who cheats on his wife, your BODY is going to make sure you get PUNISHED . . . even if she never catches you. --According to a new study by the Italian Society of Sexual Medicine, having lots of sex is great for a man's heart. But the sex that comes when you're cheating has the OPPOSITE effect . . . and is actually BAD for your heart. --Dr. Emmanuele Jannini led the study. She says, quote, "Increased sexual activity produces more testosterone, which leads to less depression and a better cardiovascular performance." --But men who cheat have POOR cardiovascular performance because, quote, "they're coping with the increased stress of their infidelity." (The Telegraph)
THE WINNER OF A $128.6 MILLION JACKPOT HASN'T COME FORWARD . . . POSSIBLY BECAUSE THE TICKET WAS PURCHASED AT AN ADULT STORE:
Here's a dilemma we've never seen before, and probably won't see again: Would you be willing to give up a HUNDRED MILLION DOLLAR JACKPOT . . . just because you were embarrassed to admit that you went to an adult bookstore? --On Saturday night, someone in Michigan won the $128.6 MILLION Powerball jackpot. But the person hasn't come forward yet. --And the speculation is, they haven't come forward because they're embarrassed about WHERE they bought the ticket. It was purchased at the Uptown Bookstore . . . an ADULT STORE in Highland Park, Michigan. --The Uptown Bookstore sells porno movies, love toys, sex aids, old school dirty magazines . . . and, yep, lottery tickets. --The owners of the Uptown Bookstore are anxious for the winner to come forward . . . they'll get a $50,000 bonus after the ticket is claimed. --They've also been letting the press know that there's a chance the winner WASN'T buying naughty smut when they bought the ticket . . . Uptown has a walk-up window on the outside for lottery ticket sales. --And yes, there's a chance that this is all just baseless speculation, and the winner hasn't come forward because they simply haven't checked their ticket and realized that they won. But that's a WAY more boring possibility. (Detroit Free Press)
A CATHOLIC PRIEST IN MASSACHUSETTS HAS BEEN CHARGED WITH SPENDING $83,000 IN CHURCH DONATIONS ON PORNO:
--59-year-old Reverend Keith LeBlanc is a priest at St. John the Baptist Church in Haverhill, Massachusetts. And he was arrested last week for embezzling more than $83,000 worth of church funds . . . and using it to buy PORNO. --And before you ask, none of the reports say what kind of porno it is . . . straight, gay, fetish, whatever . . . that info hasn't been released. --Between 2004 and 2010, LeBlanc stole $83,149 from the church. Most of it came from donations during the offering, candle and flower sales, other charitable donations, and the church's annual Christmas bazaar. --LeBlanc used the money to order more than $4,000 worth of porno on his home Comcast account, and ran up a balance over $25,000 at different websites. He also used the money for rent, bills, and car payments. --Last week he was charged with forgery and larceny. --While he waits for a trial, he's been relocated to the St. John Vianney Center in Pennsylvania, which, quote, "specializes in the treatment of behavioral health issues that are unique to Catholic clergy." (The Smoking Gun)
FIVE THINGS THAT THE OUTLET MALLS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW:
If you're planning to make the long, long drive to an outlet mall to do your Christmas shopping this year . . . it's your funeral. Here's some KEY knowledge about outlet shopping you should know going in.
#1.) There are good reasons why you have to drive forever to get to them. One, the land is cheaper. And two, they know that if you drive that far, there's a better chance you'll feel like you HAVE to spend money to justify the trip.
#2.) A lot of the stuff isn't leftover from the main store. Outlet malls aren't the home of damaged merchandise or the main store's extra inventory anymore. They're mostly filled with slightly lower-quality items made specifically for the outlet.
#3.) Some of the outlets aren't really outlets. There's no legal definition for an outlet mall. Usually it just means more than half the stores are outlets. So plenty of the stores sell stuff at full price.
#4.) You're going to have to deal with WAY more tourists than at a regular mall. Outlet malls aggressively market to tour groups and tour busses . . . and they're FILLED with the kind of awful tourists you might not find at the real mall.
#5.) The coupon books probably aren't a good value. A lot of outlet malls sell coupon books to use at their stores. But most of the coupons aren't that great . . . just a lot of "buy something, get a crappy free gift" kind of deals.
(Yahoo Shopping)
THIS THANKSGIVING, BAKE A "CHERPUMPLE" . . . A COMBO OF CHERRY PIE, APPLE PIE, PUMPKIN PIE, CAKE, AND FROSTING:
Thanksgiving changed forever when the TURDUCKEN was invented. If you somehow don't know what that is, it's a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey. --Well a man named Charles Phoenix has decided to take your Thanksgiving to the next level . . . and created the Turducken's dessert-based cousin. --It's a monstrous three-layer cake called the CHERPUMPLE. Here's what's inside.
--A bottom layer of spice cake, with an apple pie baked inside.
--A middle layer of yellow cake, with a pumpkin pie baked inside.
--A top layer of white cake, with a cherry pie baked inside.
--Assemble the three layers, holding them together with frosting . . . and then frost the entire thing. --The only downside of the Cherpumple is that it's REALLY hard to build. Charles says, quote, "The physics of it provide a kind of 'will it or won't it collapse' situation. But if it does, you can act like it was meant to happen and serve it with spoons." (New York Post)
(--Here's a YouTube video that shows you how to bake this thing. The guy is kind of annoying and the video lasts way too long, but if you can get past his hi-lariousness, there's good info in here . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rp4yWTLIPaE
ONE OUT OF NINE DRIVERS HAS FALLEN ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL THIS YEAR:
If I said that one out of nine people has fallen asleep at the wheel, you'd probably say that sounds a little high. Which is why the results of this survey seem INSANE. --According to the Triple-A Foundation for Traffic Safety, 11% of drivers . . . or one out of nine . . . say they've fallen asleep at the wheel. But it gets worse. Because that only covers THIS YEAR. (--And those are just the ones who LIVED TO TELL about it.) --More than a quarter of the people who've fallen asleep behind the wheel this year say it's happened in the past month. --Overall, 41% of people . . . or about two out of every five drivers . . . say that they've fallen asleep at the wheel at some point. --The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says that about 16.5% of all car accidents in the U.S. . . . or about one out of every six . . . involves a driver who's either asleep or drowsy. --Men are 61% more likely than women to have an accident because they're asleep or drowsy. (Los Angeles Times)
A GROUP OF BRIDESMAIDS GETS CARJACKED . . . BUT MANAGES TO GET TO THE WEDDING *AND* HIDE THE CARJACKING FROM THE BRIDE:
Now THESE are some damn good bridesmaids. Because they know that the most important rule of being a bridesmaid . . . other than not looking hotter than the bride . . . is to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep her calm. --On Saturday in Dorchester, Massachusetts, five bridesmaids were in a limo near the church where their friend was about to get married. Suddenly, a man SMASHED the limo's passenger side window with a hammer. --He had just robbed a house and wanted a getaway car . . . so he decided to carjack the limo. -The five bridesmaids and the driver got the hell out of there and the carjacker peeled out in the limo. He abandoned it a few blocks later, and the police are still looking for him. --Meanwhile, the ladies regained their composure . . . walked into the church . . . and acted like NOTHING HAD HAPPENED, so the bride wouldn't freak out right before her wedding. --The bride, Jillian Sherlock, and the groom, Nikhil Pereira, were married without having any idea that five of their closest friends had been carjacked minutes earlier. --After the ceremony, the bridesmaids finally told them what happened. (Boston Herald)
A MAN IS ABLE TO GET OUT OF JURY DUTY BY ADMITTING HE WAS CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WITH JEFFREY DAHMER:
I have a feeling this excuse is going to make sure this guy never, ever ends up on jury duty. --When John Backderf of Cleveland, Ohio was growing up, he was close friends with . . . JEFFREY DAHMER. --In case you don't remember, after growing up in Cleveland, Dahmer moved to Milwaukee and became one of the world's most notorious serial killers. He would kill men and boys, dismember them, and eat them. He was killed by a fellow prisoner in 1994. --Last week, John reported for jury duty in Cleveland. When the judge asked the potential jurors if any of them know someone convicted of a crime, John raised his hand. --When he said, quote, "I had a close friend in high school who killed 17 people" . . . and then told the room it was Dahmer . . . apparently the judge just froze up and the lawyers dropped their pens. --Naturally, John was dismissed from jury duty. --This isn't the only way that John's riding his childhood friendship with Dahmer. John's a cartoonist who goes by the name "Derf" . . . and right now, he's finishing up a graphic novel called "My Friend Dahmer". (Cleveland Plain Dealer)
TUESDAY'S QUICK HITS
According to new study, boys receive less sex education than girls, and are less likely to have a sex talk with their parents:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/philip-n-cohen/boys-get-less-sex-educati_b_780036.html
JIMMY KIMMEL has declared Wednesday, November 17th 'National Unfriend Day', to help you clear out your Facebook account:
http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/11/08/forget-facebook-kimmel-declares-nov-17-as-national-unfriend-day/
Can you tell a fake smile from a real one? Take this quiz:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/
According to breast cancer patients who get mastectomies, silicone implants are better than saline:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40074691/ns/health-cancer/
Tea Party groups in an Arizona town are outraged over the new curbside recycling program . . . because it's socialism and 'Obamacare' for garbage:
http://www.azcentral.com/community/scottsdale/articles/2010/11/07/20101107tea-party-trash-fountain-hills.html
NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A MIDDLE SCHOOL FOOTBALL TEAM PULLED A GREAT TRICK PLAY:
A middle school football team in Corpus Christi, Texas ran a trick play in their championship game on Saturday, and the video has become an instant hit on YouTube. Here's what they did: --After a penalty was called, the referee moved the ball five yards, and both teams lined up for the next play. But then the quarterback pretended the referee was stopping play again to mark off ANOTHER five yards, and he told his center to hand him the ball. --The center handed the quarterback the ball over his shoulder instead of hiking it through his legs . . . which technically started the play. Then the quarterback calmly walked past the other team's defensive line before making a mad dash to the end zone. --The game ended in a 6-6 tie. (--Search for "Penalty Play Driscoll Middle School.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UIdI8khMkw
#2.) TWO OLD LADIES USED A COMPUTER'S FACE-DISTORTION PROGRAM:
Last week, the big video on the Internet was a girl cracking up while she used one of those webcam programs to distort her face. But there's another one on YouTube of two white-haired OLD LADIES trying it. --And as an added bonus, they did it while bouncing to the BLACK EYED PEAS song "I Gotta Feeling". (--Search for "grandmas discover Photobooth.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doLHpxa-OyA
#3.) SOME DUMB KID LET HIS FRIENDS LIGHT HIS HEAD ON FIRE:
Apparently kids specifically need to be told that you can't pour nail polish remover on your head, then let your friends light it on fire. Because some kid did exactly that, and ended up with pretty severe burns on his head, neck, and face. --You can check out the video online. He had to put the fire out by dunking his own head in the toilet.
(--Search for "lighting hair on fire stunt goes bad." See the burns at :53.)
(--WARNING: This video includes the F-word and other profanity.)
http://www.break.com/index/lighting-hair-on-fire-stunt-goes-bad-1949659
#4.) HERE'S MORE EVIDENCE THE "REAL HOUSEWIVES" CAN'T SING:
KIM ZOLCIAK from "The Real Housewives Of Atlanta" is already responsible for such SMASH hit songs as "Google Me" and "Tardy For The Party", but apparently she thinks we want to hear MORE of her voice. --On Sunday's episode, she started recording a new song, and everyone in the studio was STUNNED at how bad she was. (--Search for "Kim Zolciak tries to sing again.")
http://www.dlisted.com/node/39549
FIVE BOGUS COLD AND FLU MYTHS YOUR MOM BELIEVED:
It's November, which means we're all about to start getting sick. And the magazine "Prevention" has a list of the five most common myths about how to prevent and recover from a cold. --They're all things your mom probably said were true . . . but she was wrong.
MYTH #1.) YOU'LL GET SICK IF YOU GO OUT IN THE COLD WITH WET HAIR. Researchers gave two groups of people the same cold virus, then exposed one group to cold, wet conditions while the other group stayed dry.
--You'd think it would make a difference, but it didn't. The people who stayed dry were just as likely to get sick.
MYTH #2.) FEED A COLD, STARVE A FEVER. Actually, you should drink plenty of water and keep eating either way. It doesn't matter what your symptoms are.
--When you have a head cold, your immune system needs the nutrients. And when you have a fever, your metabolism speeds up and needs more calories to keep fighting off infections.
MYTH #3.) IF YOU HAVE A COLD, YOU SHOULD AVOID DAIRY PRODUCTS. It might seem like dairy products make your body produce more mucus. But research shows that's probably just an example of the placebo effect.
--In other words, in one study, people who knew they were drinking milk reported more nasal symptoms than people who drank soy milk. But when they didn't know which kind of milk they were drinking, they only reported minimal effects for both.
MYTH #4.) YOU LOSE MOST OF YOUR BODY HEAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD. Wearing a hat DOES help you retain body heat, but not because that's where you lose most of your body heat.
--You only lose about 10% of your body heat through your head, neck, and face. Which makes sense, because your head, neck, and face account for about 10% of your body's surface area.
--It just FEELS like wearing a hat is really effective because your face is five times more sensitive to temperature changes than other parts of your body.
MYTH #5.) YOU SHOULDN'T EXERCISE WHEN YOU'RE SICK. The only way to get rid of a cold is to rest. But a little exercise can actually make you feel better.
--In a study from Ball State University, volunteers with bad colds were divided into two groups. The first group only rested, and the second group rested but also exercised for 30 minutes a day, five days a week.
--In both groups, symptoms lasted for just over eight days on average. But the people who exercised felt better during the afternoons and evenings.
--Just don't overdo it. Intense workouts that last more than 90 minutes can weaken your immune system.
(Prevention.com)
JOE JACKSON FINALLY ADMITS HE USED A STRAP TO WHIP HIS KIDS:
OPRAH WINFREY'S pre-taped and much-hyped interview with MICHAEL JACKSON'S family finally aired on yesterday's "Oprah". --And I would say that the big reveal was this: JOE JACKSON finally admitted that he used a strap to punish his kids and keep them in line. --First, though, he tried to deny it. He said, quote, "I never beated Michael like the media tried to say. That never happened." (--And yes, he said "beated".) --But after a little more prodding, Joe admitted that he WHIPPED his kids with a strap. But apparently, he doesn't consider that "beating". --Katherine also helped pull it out of him by saying, quote, "You might as well admit it, that's the way black people raised their children." --But Joe defended his method, saying, quote, "It kept them outta trouble, outta jail. My kids never been in jail before. Nine kids never been to jail."
(--Here's video . . .)
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=9aec7527-1b23-471d-95b8-f1070c1d5c44
KATHERINE JACKSON SAYS MICHAEL TOOK THE PLASTIC SURGERY TOO FAR . . . AND REVEALS THAT SHE SPOKE TO MICHAEL ABOUT HIS DRUG USE:
In that interview that aired yesterday on "Oprah", KATHERINE JACKSON said that MICHAEL definitely took his plastic surgery too far. --She said Michael had problems with his appearance beginning in adolescence. One of those problems was his skin condition, vitiligo. Michael was afraid it would make him look like, quote, "a spotted cow." --She added, quote, "I don't know what in the world he did to change that, but he did." --She also said Michael had multiple surgeries on his nose . . . and it kept getting smaller and smaller, to the point where, quote, "it looked like a toothpick at one time." --She added, quote, "I hear that people get addicted to plastic surgery, and I think that's what happened to him. I said, that's enough." She even had words with Michael's plastic surgeon. Obviously, nobody listened. --Katherine also says she confronted Michael about his alleged drug use not long before his death . . . quote, "I spoke to him about [drugs] once, when I had heard it and he denied it. --"I was telling him I didn't want to one day hear that he had overdosed because it would break my heart . . . He kept saying, 'My own mother don't believe me.' Part of me wanted to believe him, but I didn't believe him." --Katherine also revealed that it was DR. CONRAD MURRAY who had to inform them at the hospital that Michael was dead . . . which is pretty cruel irony. --But Katherine still isn't sure how to feel about the situation . . . quote, "Why didn't he take care of my child? Why did he give that [propofol] to him? It's very dangerous, why did he do it? --"I can't accuse him of murder, I don't know if it was accidentally done or it was intentionally done. I don't want to get into that, but I have my thoughts . . . I don't think I'll ever, ever be healed . . . It hurts." --Not surprisingly, she called that day, quote, "The worst day of my life."
(--Here's video of Katherine talking about going to the hospital . . .)
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=9f9d0e6a-380e-47ad-944f-d4d105f26218
-One last note from Katherine . . . She had no idea Michael was going to marry LISA MARIE PRESLEY, until after he already did. --But he called Katherine after the fact, and put Lisa Marie on the phone with her. And at first, Katherine didn't believe it was really her. --She said, quote, "She had a heavy voice and I didn't know that. She sounded like a black girl."
LINDSAY LOHAN WANTS TO START HER OWN REHAB CLINICS . . . AND HER DAD VISITED HER AT BETTY FORD ON SUNDAY:
Imagine 30 years from now . . . a celebrity has a problem with drugs or alcohol, and instead of heading off to Betty Ford, he checks himself into LINDSAY LOHAN. It could happen. --DINA LOHAN was on the "Today" show yesterday, and she said Lindsay wants to, quote, "start her own facilities to help other children. She's so public, we can only be positive and look to the future to help other families." --Dina called Betty Ford, quote, "an amazing place", and added that Lindsay is having, quote, "a life-changing experience" there. -But she wasn't willing to say this will be Lindsay's last time in rehab . . . quote, "We'll take it one day at a time. I don't have a crystal ball. I pray hard." --Lindsay has been ordered to remain at Betty Ford until January 3rd . . . and it sounds like she's not trying to get out early, as she's done so many times before. --Dina said, quite, "Lindsay wants to stay. She's learning the trigger points and why she turns to something; drugs or addiction." (--Here's some video . . .) http://www.eonline.com/videos/v91531_dina-lohan-reports-on-lindsay.html --MEANWHILE . . . Lindsay got a visit on Sunday from her psycho dad, MICHAEL LOHAN . . . and it sounds like everything went well. --Lindsay's therapist actually encouraged the visit . . . but Michael had to meet several conditions before he was allowed to see her. --Most importantly, he had to make a public statement vowing to stop speaking to the media about her. (--A lot of people made fun of Michael for making a public statement saying he would no longer make public statements. But now we see that it wasn't even his idea. So there you go.) --Michael and Lindsay actually left Betty Ford for a while, to do some shopping in Palm Desert, California. A so-called "source" says, quote, "She appeared genuinely happy to be spending time with her father." --RadarOnline.com got some pictures, but check this out: When they asked Michael to comment on his day with Lindsay, he REFUSED. Maybe Lindsay's not the only one who's finally taking this seriously. (--You can see the pics here . . .)http://www.radaronline.com/photos/image/98479/2010/11/photos-lindsay-lohan-and-michael-lohan-pictured-together
CHARLIE SHEEN ISN'T PANICKING:
Is it possible that we made way too big of a deal out of CHARLIE SHEEN'S hotel shenanigans last month? He thinks so. --He tells "Extra", quote, "If a guy has one bad night, everybody goes insane and panics. I'm not panicking." --All he's concerning himself with right now is taping new episodes of "Two and a Half Men". He says, quote, "Just finished a show. Back to work. Everything's good, everything's good." --It sounds like Charlie is admitting that this chaos started over the loss of a $150,000 watch. Because he also says, quote, "The way I look at it, if you have expensive tastes, you gotta be prepared for expensive losses."
IS CHRISTINA AGUILERA DATING A CREW MEMBER FROM HER NEW MOVIE?
CHRISTINA AGUILERA was spotted on a DOUBLE-DATE Saturday night with NICOLE RICHIE and JOEL MADDEN. --Christina's alleged date was Matthew Rutler . . . who worked as a set assistant on Christina's upcoming movie, "Burlesque". (--Which hits theaters on Wednesday, November 24th.) --The four of them went to dinner at a place called SoHo House in Hollywood. Afterward, Matthew tried to HIDE under a blanket in the backseat of Christina's car . . . which Joel was driving. -Christina and Matthew met long before Christina filed for divorce from her husband, Jordan Bratman. But so-called "sources" say they were NOT having an affair. --Supposedly, Christina and Jordan had been having problems for quite a while . . . and Matthew was just a shoulder to cry on during work hours. But after the marriage fell apart, Christina and Matthew took their friendship to the next level.
IF LADY GAGA WANTED YOUR BOYFRIEND, WOULD YOU FIGHT IT? THIS CHICK DIDN'T:
Girls . . . if LADY GAGA had designs on your man, and was determined to get him, would you fight to keep him? Alex Stebbins didn't. --Alex is a 21-year-old actress, and she started dating a guy named LUC CARL after meeting him in August of 2009. At the time, Luc was Gaga's ex-boyfriend. --But a few months into their relationship, Gaga decided she wanted Luc back. So she started calling and texting him. He ignored her for a while, and told Alex he didn't want her back. --But this past summer, he changed his mind. And Alex basically just stepped aside. --She says, quote, "It was really hard to be with someone who has a really famous ex-girlfriend who would stop at nothing to get him back. --"I wasn't going to go toe to toe with Lady Gaga, because that's like fighting Jesus. She's the most powerful woman in the world, and there's no winning."
GRETCHEN MOL IS PREGNANT AGAIN . . . CAN SHE COME UP WITH AN EVEN WORSE NAME THAN "PTOLEMY" THIS TIME?
Actress GRETCHEN MOL is pregnant again. There's no word on her due date. This will be the second child for Gretchen and her husband, writer (slash) director Kip Williams. --It'll be interesting to see if they can come up with an even more pretentiously ridiculous name than they did for the son they welcomed into the world three years ago. That poor boy's name is PTOLEMY. (???) (--Ptolemy is pronounced Tahl-lemme. He was a Roman mathematician, astronomer, geographer and astrologer who lived from the year 90 to 168 A.D.) --Gretchen is on that new HBO series "Boardwalk Empire". But it's on hiatus now, so her pregnancy won't affect filming. Williams directed "Paranormal Activity 2", which is in theaters now.
ROBERT PATTINSON AND KRISTEN STEWART WERE CAUGHT MAKING OUT IN RIO . . . BUT THEY WERE FILMING "BREAKING DAWN" AT THE TIME:
ROBERT PATTINSON and KRISTEN STEWART were photographed making out in Rio the other day. But it was no big revelation. They were just filming a scene for "Breaking Dawn".
ADAM SANDLER SPENT $800,000 ON CARS FOR HIS "GROWN UPS" CO-STARS:
CHRIS ROCK woke up a few days ago and found a $200,000 Maserati sitting in his driveway. It was a gift from his "Grown Ups" co-star ADAM SANDLER, just to celebrate the fact that the movie was a hit. --Adam did the same for their other co-stars, DAVID SPADE, ROB SCHNEIDER and KEVIN JAMES . . . which means that he splashed out $800,000 on cars for these guys. Not that he can't easily afford it. --Rock says, quote, "I went outside the other day and I had a new Maserati in the driveway. Now I think that I'm Adam Sandler's (B-word). The movie's like the biggest thing for [Sandler], he appreciates the help." (--"Grown Ups" hits DVD and Blu-ray today.)
ROBERT DOWNEY JR. IS NOW THE VOICE OF MR. PEANUT:
ROBERT DOWNEY JR.'S incredible comeback has reached a new high . . . for he has just been chosen by the Planters company to be the new voice of MR. PEANUT. --This is a NEW MILLENNIUM Mr. Peanut, though. He's actually the color of a peanut, instead of yellow, like the old version. Plus, he gets to wear a shirt and suit jacket this time . . . but STILL NO PANTS. --Most importantly . . . although probably most obviously . . . this one TALKS. Up until now, Mr. Peanut never did.
(--Here's Robert Downey Jr.'s first Mr. Peanut ad . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBE3mby0p6M
HARRISON FORD IS LOOKING FORWARD TO "INDIANA JONES 5":
If you're still trying to get the sour taste of "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" out of your mouth, then you probably won't want to hear this . . . --HARRISON FORD says he's looking forward to the FIFTH "Indy" flick. Not that it's happening any time soon. --He tells MTV News, quote, "It's on George Lucas' plate, and I'm hoping he's working hard at it, because I'd look forward to doing it again if the three of us could get together . . . George, Steven Spielberg and myself. I'd love to do another." (--Harrison Ford is 68 . . . so you have to wonder what he'll still be capable of by the time cameras could roll on a fifth "Indy". To put it into perspective, Sean Connery was only 59 when the third "Indy" came out.)
MIKE WHITE WILL DIRECT "PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND ZOMBIES":
MIKE WHITE has been hired to direct "Pride and Prejudice and Zombie". Mike is probably best known as a screenwriter, whose films include "The Good Girl", "School of Rock" and "Nacho Libre". --SCARLETT JOHANSSON and BRADLEY COOPER are supposedly lined up to star in it . . . but that isn't official yet.
AMC HAS PICKED UP "THE WALKING DEAD" FOR A SECOND SEASON:
AMC's awesome new zombie show, "The Walking Dead", has already been picked up for a second season. (--Even if you're not familiar with the comic it's based on, check it out. You can watch the first episode at AMCTV.com, here.) --The show has been setting all kinds of ratings records for AMC. The first episode attracted 5.3 million viewers on Halloween night. That was the biggest premiere in AMC history . . . and the most-watched debut on cable this year. --The second episode, which aired this past Sunday night, drew 4.7 million viewers. That means it retained nearly 89% of its audience, which is pretty damn good. --Season One will only have six episodes. The finale is scheduled to air on December 5th. It's too early to say when Season Two might start, but there's word that production will begin in February.
TIM ALLEN HAS A NEW SITCOM IN THE WORKS:
Former "Home Improvement" superstar TIM ALLEN has a new sitcom in development at ABC. It's called "Man Up" . . . and Tim will play a guy who's, quote, "fighting for his manhood in a world of women." --It's in the pilot stage right now, which means that they'll be assembling a cast soon. If everything works out, it could be up for a spot on ABC's fall schedule next year.
MIKE "THE SITUATION" ARRANGES HIS LIFE AROUND HIS WORKOUTS:
This probably won't come as a shock to you: "Jersey Shore" stud MIKE "THE SITUATION" intentionally structures his entire day around his gym workouts. --He tells "Men's Fitness", quote, "Every day when I wake up I gotta go to the gym. I arrange my other activities around my workout. I have to organize my mind, body and health first." --The Situation's secret is doing "isometric contractions" . . . or basically muscle flexing . . . throughout the day. He says he does it, quote, "while I'm walking, I do it. On airplanes, I do it. In cars . . . --"I do it so when somebody asks, 'Hey, can I see your abs?' It's always there." --OK, he may not be modest . . . but he's not perfect either. Here's Mike using a super lame inspirational line in the same interview. --When asked if he thought he could branch off and do movies, The Situation responded, quote, "I shoot for the stars. If I get to the moon, I'm OK with that."
TUESDAY TV REMINDERS: (--Check your local listings.)
--"No Ordinary Family" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Jackson Rathbone guest stars when Daphne uses her telepathy to help him and his family after they are victims of a home invasion. He plays Jasper Hale in the "Twilight" movies.)
--"NCIS" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Robert Wagner returns as DiNozzo's father when Gibbs asks for his help in a sensitive murder case.)
--"One Tree Hill" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on theCW. (--NFL star Tony Gonzalez stars as himself when Nathan's job takes him to Atlanta.)
--"Dancing with the Stars" [Results] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Taio Cruz, John Legend, The Roots, and 9-year-old piano prodigy Emily Bear perform.)
--"The Bad Girls Club" [5th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Oxygen.
--"360 Sessions" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on IFC. (--Alphabet performs.)
--"The Good Wife" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Michael J. Fox guest stars as opposing counsel in a class-action law suit against a pharmaceutical company.)
--"The Fashion Show" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo. (--Supermodel Iman and fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi host as two teams of six designers compete in this "Project Runway" / "Survivor" fashion show.)
--"Auction Hunters" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on SpikeTV.
--"Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TruTV.
NEW ON VIDEO TODAY
--"Scott Pilgrim vs. the World" - Michael Cera plays a dorky kid who falls for a hot chick . . . and then has to "defeat" her seven evil exes in video game style. It was directed and co-written by Edgar Wright . . . one of the geniuses behind "Shaun of the Dead" and "Hot Fuzz".
--"Ramona & Beezus" - This movie adaptation stars Selena Gomez as Beezus, and 10-year-old newcomer Joey King as her annoying little sister Ramona. John Corbett and Bridget Moynahan play their parents, and Sandra Oh from "Gray's Anatomy" is in it as Ramona's teacher.
--"Grown Ups" - Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, and Rob Schneider play former teammates who reunite after the death of their basketball coach, and spend a Fourth of July weekend reliving their "glory days".
--"Charlie St. Cloud" - After surviving a car accident that killed his little brother, Zac Efron starts spending more time with his brother's ghost than real people. A hot chick named Amanda Crew eventually tempts him back to the real world.
--"Antichrist" - Willem Dafoe and British minx Charlotte Gainsbourg retreat to an isolated cabin to mourn the loss of their son, who died while they were having sex. The film quickly degenerates into DISTURBING sexual violence as one of them loses their grip on reality.
--"Love Ranch" - Joe Pesci and Helen Mirren play a husband and wife running one of Nevada's first legal brothels. While he's having affairs with half the whores that work for them, she falls in love with a boxer . . . and her affair ultimately ends in MURDER.
TV SERIES ON DVD:
--"The Boondocks: The Complete Third Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.
--"Californication: The Third Season" . . . a two-disc DVD set. (--The whole series is also available today as a six-disc "Three Season Pack". The show will return for its fourth season in January.)
--"Lie to Me: Season Two" . . . a six-disc DVD set.
--"Men of a Certain Age: The Complete First Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.
--"Doctor Who: The Complete Fifth Series" . . . a six-disc DVD set.
--"Sherlock: Season One" . . . a two-disc DVD set of the BBC series. It stars a guy you never heard of as Sherlock Holmes and Martin Freeman as Dr. Watson. Freeman will play Bilbo Baggins in the "Hobbit" movies.
--"Golden Girls: 25th Anniversary Complete Collection" . . . a 21-disc DVD set. (--It ran for seven seasons.)
NEW MUSIC OUT TODAY
--"Now That's What I Call Music! 36" . . . Katy Perry, Ke$ha, Maroon 5, Adam Lambert, B.o.B, Nelly, Paramore, Daughtry, Chris Brown, Usher, Taio Cruz, Neon Trees, Sick Puppies, OneRepublic, Sarah Bareilles, and Sugarland.
--"Now That's What I Call The 1990s" . . . an alternative music collection that includes Sheryl Crow, Lisa Loeb, Meredith Brooks, the Spin Doctors, Tonic, Collective Soul, Barenaked Ladies, Blind Melon, Live, and Everclear.
--"Q: Soul Bossa Nostra", Quincy Jones (--Fresh versions of songs by music producer Quincy Jones. Some of the highlights include T-Pain and Robin Thicke performing "P.Y.T.", and Jamie Foxx singing "Give Me the Night".) (--Plus T.I. and B.o.B collaborate on a rap version of "Sanford and Son". Other artists on the disc include Akon, John Legend, Jennifer Hudson, Snoop Dogg, Wyclef Jean, Ludacris, Talib Kweli, Three 6 Mafia, and Amy Winehouse.)
--"Greatest Hits - The Ultimate Collection", Bon Jovi (--A double-CD set. It includes two new songs: "What Do You Got?" and "No Apologies".)
--"Viva ELVIS - The Album", Elvis Presley (--It's described as "the songs of Elvis, all shook up." For example, there are backup singers and another music track to "Can't Help Falling In Love", and a heavier drum beat added to "Suspicious Minds".)
(--You'll see what I'm talking about here. Just click on a title to sample it.)
TODAY'S NEW VIDEO GAMES
THE NEW "CALL OF DUTY" HIT STORES AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT:
--"Call of Duty: Black Ops" (M) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, Wii, PC and DS. The seventh "Call of Duty" is set during the Cold War era of the '60s, with combat in places like Laos, Cuba, and Vietnam. Here's the trailer. And here's what else you need to know: A new in-game currency has been added for purchasing weapon customizations, etc. But the best part is now there's something called Wager Matches that will let you put your money where your mouth is in a set of free-for-all games. Check it out . . .
• One in the Chamber: You only have one bullet, but each kill earns you another one.
• Sticks and Stones: No guns at all. You get a crossbow, a ballistic knife for stabbing, and a tomahawk as your throwing knife.
• Gun Game: Everyone starts with a pistol and you have to work your way up through 20 different weapons. But you'll lose your progress if someone knifes you.
• Sharpshooter: You all get the same random weapon. It rotates every 45 seconds.
"Black Ops" will also include a Zombie Co-Op mode just like "World at War". The four original zombie maps from "World at War" will be available in the collector's editions.
And if you've ever been the only English-speaking player on a team . . . or repeatedly team-killed by screaming Australians who don't like the lag of an American host, then you'll LOVE the Regional Matchmaking filter that lets you play with local people only.
New killstreaks include a Remote Control Car that you can use for recon or to carry explosives to an enemy sniper. And they've finally brought back the ability to have a Split Screen Guest in multiplayer, which hasn't been available since "Call of Duty 3".
As always, the new "Call of Duty" release is a pretty big deal, so there's not a lot of competition hitting stores today. The only other new game worth mentioning is. . .
--"Monster Jam 3: Path of Destruction" (E) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, Wii, PC, DS and PSP. A monster truck game that includes the ability to customize your own trucks, or use fan-favorites like Grave Digger, Maximum Destruction, and Grinder.
MICHAEL JACKSON'S FULL "BREAKING NEWS" SONG IS STREAMING:
As expected, the full version of MICHAEL JACKSON'S "new" single, "Breaking News", is streaming on MichaelJackson.com. It'll be up all this week. (--Enjoy.) --It'll be released on the upcoming album, "Michael", which comes out on December 14th. The disc features all previously unreleased songs, which Michael recorded at some point before his death. Obviously.
SOME IDIOT STOLE GIFTS FROM THE GRAVESITE OF SLIPKNOT BASSIST PAUL GRAY:
Some IDIOT stole gifts from the gravesite of former SLIPKNOT bassist PAUL GRAY, who died in May. -The band posted a message on MySpace that reads, quote, "In a very upsetting turn of events, we have learned that some gifts left for Paul at his grave site have been stolen. --"There were statues of a gargoyle as well as a Buddah that were placed at Paul's grave by his friends and family that were taken. --"We ask that whoever did this please return the items no questions asked. If anyone has any information about the stolen items please let us know by posting in the comments. Thank you for your continued support in this trying time."
(--Here's the link . . .)
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=3646959&blogId=540492839
AKON IS BUILDING A UNIVERSITY IN AFRICA:
AKON has done some stupid things in his career. Like the time he simulated sex with an underage fan onstage at a concert. --Or how about when he threw a male teenager off the stage at another concert, because the kid had tossed something at Akon from the crowd? --Now, Akon is doing some GOOD things, and it's only fair to tell you about them. --Akon has started something called the Konfidence Foundation . . . and that's "Konfidence" with a "K" . . . to help underprivileged children in Africa. (--Akon was born in Senegal.)
-He has already used profits from touring to open an elementary school in Senegal . . . and now, he's hoping to build both a university and a hospital there. --Akon says, quote, "We feel like education doesn't mean anything if you aren't healthy. Between health and education those are the two key things to rebuild any country. --"We want to start with the kids because they have a lot more growing up to do and a lot more to give in order to create a future for ourselves." (--Akon has an album called "Akonic" in the pipeline, but there's no official release date yet.)
KANYE WEST SPIT SOME RAPS TO THE PASSENGERS ON A COMMERCIAL FLIGHT LAST WEEK:
On Friday, KANYE WEST was on a Delta flight from Minneapolis to New York City . . . and about 30 minutes into the flight, he hopped on the loudspeaker and rapped a few lines to the passengers. --The raps were from a couple old tracks . . . "The Good Life" and "Gold Digger". (--Here's video . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EazHeC3IYw
TUESDAY'S SHOWBIZ QUICK HITS
Former "Access Hollywood" co-anchor NANCY O'DELL will replace MARY HART on "Entertainment Tonight" sometime next year. Mary is retiring after nearly 30 years on the show.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20440458,00.html
Briefly suspended MSNBC host KEITH OLBERMANN has apologized to his fans . . . but not NBC News . . . for the, quote, "unnecessary drama" that resulted from him donating money to political candidates. And he doesn't sound too happy with how he was punished "without a hearing." (--He'll be back tonight.)
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101109/ap_on_en_tv/us_tv_olbermann_suspension
Fox will premiere a new game show called "Million Dollar Money Drop" on December 20th. Here's how it works: Pairs of contestants will start with $1 million . . . and to keep it, they'll have to correctly answer seven multiple-choice questions.
http://popwatch.ew.com/2010/11/08/fox-million-dollar-money-drop/
Tonight's "Glee" will feature KATY PERRY'S "Teenage Dream". The episode will also "take on bullying, especially [toward] gay teens." Here's a preview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPD72scm_k8
RELATED COMEDY: Katy Perry says she won't be doing "Playboy". I don't blame her. Why bother when you can show just as much on "Sesame Street"?
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
TODAY'S NEWS, IN BRIEF:
#1.) Last week, 84% of parents in the U.S. bought their kids fast food. And 66% of those went to McDonald's. The survey also found that 15% of PRESCHOOLERS ask their parents to take them to McDonald's DAILY. (Full story)
#2.) If you regret posting things on Facebook or Twitter when you're drunk, a new browser app at SocialMediaSobrietyTest.com will block you from posting on drunken nights unless you pass a sobriety test. (Full story)
#3.) A team in England is working on a new phone app that will test you for STDs . . . by having you PEE on your phone. There's no word when it might come out, but they believe it could help cut down on the spread of STDs. (Full story)
#4.) A new study finds that having lots of sex is GOOD for your heart . . . but that having lots of sex during an affair is BAD for your heart, thanks to all the added stress. (Full story)
#5.) Someone in Detroit won the $128.6 MILLION Powerball jackpot on Saturday, but they haven't come forward yet. Maybe because they bought the ticket at an adult bookstore . . . and they're too embarrassed to admit it. (Full story)
#6.) A Catholic priest in Massachusetts has been arrested for embezzling $83,000 worth of church funds and using it on PORNO. Over the past six years he bought a ton of pay-per-view smut, and ran up a $25,000 tab online. (Full story)
#7.) A 48-year-old man in Florida was arrested for playing with himself in public, right in front of a cop. But he claimed he was just applying hemorrhoid cream. So the cop took the tube and found it wasn't Preparation H . . . it was K-Y Jelly. (Full Story)
#8.) Before you hit an outlet mall this holiday shopping season, know this: These days, most of the stuff there is lower-quality stuff manufactured specifically for the outlet store . . . and it might be full price. (Full story)
#9.) If you love the TURDUCKEN . . . a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey . . . try the CHERPUMPLE this Thanksgiving. It's apple, cherry, and pumpkin pies all baked into a giant cake and covered with frosting. (Full story)
#10.) WAKE UP! According to a new Triple-A survey, one out of nine drivers say they've fallen asleep at the wheel THIS YEAR. Overall, about two out of every five drivers say they've fallen asleep at the wheel. (Full story)
#11.) On Saturday, a group of bridesmaids in Massachusetts was CARJACKED in their limo on the way to the wedding. They escaped, shook it off, and managed to keep it a secret from the bride until after the ceremony. (Full story)
#12.) As if you needed another reason to hate Al Qaeda, a new report says they once tried to turn DOGS into SUICIDE BOMBERS by sewing explosives inside them. Sadly for the dogs, but luckily for us, the dogs died before they could be put onboard. (Full Story)
#13.) A man in Cleveland got out of jury duty when the judge asked if he knew someone who'd been convicted of a crime, and the guy told the judge about one of his close childhood friends . . . JEFFREY DAHMER. (Full story)
84% OF PARENTS FED THEIR KIDS FAST FOOD LAST WEEK:
It's no huge mystery why so many of today's kids are shaped like spheres. They DEMAND fast food and their parents are more than willing to feed that addiction. --According to a new study by the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University, 84% of American parents fed their kids fast food in the past week. Specifically, 66% took their kids to McDonald's. --The study also found that 40% of parents say their kid asks to go to McDonald's at least once a week, and 15% of PRESCHOOLERS demand to go EVERY DAY. (The Consumerist)
DOWNLOAD THE NEW APP THAT KEEPS YOU FROM "DRUNK FACEBOOKING":
Once you post something on Facebook or Twitter, it's out there permanently. Facebook doesn't care that you were hammered when you wrote it. There are no second chances in the digital age. --If you have a bad habit of social networking under the influence, a new web app could REALLY help you out. It's called the Social Media Sobriety Test, and it's a free plugin for the Firefox web browser. (--If you don't know what that is, you don't have it.) --With the app, before you go out for the night, you tell it to lock you out of sites like Facebook and Twitter for a certain number of hours. And during those hours, the only way you can post is to pass a sobriety test, like typing the alphabet backwards. http://www.socialmediasobrietytest.com/
A NEW APP MAY TEST YOU FOR STDS . . . BY HAVING YOU PEE ON YOUR CELL PHONE:
This may be the moment when phone apps have PEAKED. After this one, everything's downhill from here. A team in the U.K. is finishing up an app that would test you for STDs . . . by having you PEE on your cell phone. --You'd install the app, then attach a small computer chip through a port on your phone. You pee all over it . . . or use saliva, if you're not as cool . . . and it will use cutting-edge technology to figure out what STDs you have within minutes. --Several public health groups and investors have poured millions of dollars worth of funding into it, and they believe it can be a REALLY helpful way to cut down on the spread of STDs. There's no word on when it could be available. (The Guardian)
HAVING LOTS OF SEX IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEART . . . UNLESS YOU'RE CHEATING:
If you're the kind of a-hole who cheats on his wife, your BODY is going to make sure you get PUNISHED . . . even if she never catches you. --According to a new study by the Italian Society of Sexual Medicine, having lots of sex is great for a man's heart. But the sex that comes when you're cheating has the OPPOSITE effect . . . and is actually BAD for your heart. --Dr. Emmanuele Jannini led the study. She says, quote, "Increased sexual activity produces more testosterone, which leads to less depression and a better cardiovascular performance." --But men who cheat have POOR cardiovascular performance because, quote, "they're coping with the increased stress of their infidelity." (The Telegraph)
THE WINNER OF A $128.6 MILLION JACKPOT HASN'T COME FORWARD . . . POSSIBLY BECAUSE THE TICKET WAS PURCHASED AT AN ADULT STORE:
Here's a dilemma we've never seen before, and probably won't see again: Would you be willing to give up a HUNDRED MILLION DOLLAR JACKPOT . . . just because you were embarrassed to admit that you went to an adult bookstore? --On Saturday night, someone in Michigan won the $128.6 MILLION Powerball jackpot. But the person hasn't come forward yet. --And the speculation is, they haven't come forward because they're embarrassed about WHERE they bought the ticket. It was purchased at the Uptown Bookstore . . . an ADULT STORE in Highland Park, Michigan. --The Uptown Bookstore sells porno movies, love toys, sex aids, old school dirty magazines . . . and, yep, lottery tickets. --The owners of the Uptown Bookstore are anxious for the winner to come forward . . . they'll get a $50,000 bonus after the ticket is claimed. --They've also been letting the press know that there's a chance the winner WASN'T buying naughty smut when they bought the ticket . . . Uptown has a walk-up window on the outside for lottery ticket sales. --And yes, there's a chance that this is all just baseless speculation, and the winner hasn't come forward because they simply haven't checked their ticket and realized that they won. But that's a WAY more boring possibility. (Detroit Free Press)
A CATHOLIC PRIEST IN MASSACHUSETTS HAS BEEN CHARGED WITH SPENDING $83,000 IN CHURCH DONATIONS ON PORNO:
--59-year-old Reverend Keith LeBlanc is a priest at St. John the Baptist Church in Haverhill, Massachusetts. And he was arrested last week for embezzling more than $83,000 worth of church funds . . . and using it to buy PORNO. --And before you ask, none of the reports say what kind of porno it is . . . straight, gay, fetish, whatever . . . that info hasn't been released. --Between 2004 and 2010, LeBlanc stole $83,149 from the church. Most of it came from donations during the offering, candle and flower sales, other charitable donations, and the church's annual Christmas bazaar. --LeBlanc used the money to order more than $4,000 worth of porno on his home Comcast account, and ran up a balance over $25,000 at different websites. He also used the money for rent, bills, and car payments. --Last week he was charged with forgery and larceny. --While he waits for a trial, he's been relocated to the St. John Vianney Center in Pennsylvania, which, quote, "specializes in the treatment of behavioral health issues that are unique to Catholic clergy." (The Smoking Gun)
FIVE THINGS THAT THE OUTLET MALLS DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW:
If you're planning to make the long, long drive to an outlet mall to do your Christmas shopping this year . . . it's your funeral. Here's some KEY knowledge about outlet shopping you should know going in.
#1.) There are good reasons why you have to drive forever to get to them. One, the land is cheaper. And two, they know that if you drive that far, there's a better chance you'll feel like you HAVE to spend money to justify the trip.
#2.) A lot of the stuff isn't leftover from the main store. Outlet malls aren't the home of damaged merchandise or the main store's extra inventory anymore. They're mostly filled with slightly lower-quality items made specifically for the outlet.
#3.) Some of the outlets aren't really outlets. There's no legal definition for an outlet mall. Usually it just means more than half the stores are outlets. So plenty of the stores sell stuff at full price.
#4.) You're going to have to deal with WAY more tourists than at a regular mall. Outlet malls aggressively market to tour groups and tour busses . . . and they're FILLED with the kind of awful tourists you might not find at the real mall.
#5.) The coupon books probably aren't a good value. A lot of outlet malls sell coupon books to use at their stores. But most of the coupons aren't that great . . . just a lot of "buy something, get a crappy free gift" kind of deals.
(Yahoo Shopping)
THIS THANKSGIVING, BAKE A "CHERPUMPLE" . . . A COMBO OF CHERRY PIE, APPLE PIE, PUMPKIN PIE, CAKE, AND FROSTING:
Thanksgiving changed forever when the TURDUCKEN was invented. If you somehow don't know what that is, it's a chicken stuffed in a duck stuffed in a turkey. --Well a man named Charles Phoenix has decided to take your Thanksgiving to the next level . . . and created the Turducken's dessert-based cousin. --It's a monstrous three-layer cake called the CHERPUMPLE. Here's what's inside.
--A bottom layer of spice cake, with an apple pie baked inside.
--A middle layer of yellow cake, with a pumpkin pie baked inside.
--A top layer of white cake, with a cherry pie baked inside.
--Assemble the three layers, holding them together with frosting . . . and then frost the entire thing. --The only downside of the Cherpumple is that it's REALLY hard to build. Charles says, quote, "The physics of it provide a kind of 'will it or won't it collapse' situation. But if it does, you can act like it was meant to happen and serve it with spoons." (New York Post)
(--Here's a YouTube video that shows you how to bake this thing. The guy is kind of annoying and the video lasts way too long, but if you can get past his hi-lariousness, there's good info in here . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rp4yWTLIPaE
ONE OUT OF NINE DRIVERS HAS FALLEN ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL THIS YEAR:
If I said that one out of nine people has fallen asleep at the wheel, you'd probably say that sounds a little high. Which is why the results of this survey seem INSANE. --According to the Triple-A Foundation for Traffic Safety, 11% of drivers . . . or one out of nine . . . say they've fallen asleep at the wheel. But it gets worse. Because that only covers THIS YEAR. (--And those are just the ones who LIVED TO TELL about it.) --More than a quarter of the people who've fallen asleep behind the wheel this year say it's happened in the past month. --Overall, 41% of people . . . or about two out of every five drivers . . . say that they've fallen asleep at the wheel at some point. --The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration says that about 16.5% of all car accidents in the U.S. . . . or about one out of every six . . . involves a driver who's either asleep or drowsy. --Men are 61% more likely than women to have an accident because they're asleep or drowsy. (Los Angeles Times)
A GROUP OF BRIDESMAIDS GETS CARJACKED . . . BUT MANAGES TO GET TO THE WEDDING *AND* HIDE THE CARJACKING FROM THE BRIDE:
Now THESE are some damn good bridesmaids. Because they know that the most important rule of being a bridesmaid . . . other than not looking hotter than the bride . . . is to do WHATEVER IT TAKES to keep her calm. --On Saturday in Dorchester, Massachusetts, five bridesmaids were in a limo near the church where their friend was about to get married. Suddenly, a man SMASHED the limo's passenger side window with a hammer. --He had just robbed a house and wanted a getaway car . . . so he decided to carjack the limo. -The five bridesmaids and the driver got the hell out of there and the carjacker peeled out in the limo. He abandoned it a few blocks later, and the police are still looking for him. --Meanwhile, the ladies regained their composure . . . walked into the church . . . and acted like NOTHING HAD HAPPENED, so the bride wouldn't freak out right before her wedding. --The bride, Jillian Sherlock, and the groom, Nikhil Pereira, were married without having any idea that five of their closest friends had been carjacked minutes earlier. --After the ceremony, the bridesmaids finally told them what happened. (Boston Herald)
A MAN IS ABLE TO GET OUT OF JURY DUTY BY ADMITTING HE WAS CHILDHOOD FRIENDS WITH JEFFREY DAHMER:
I have a feeling this excuse is going to make sure this guy never, ever ends up on jury duty. --When John Backderf of Cleveland, Ohio was growing up, he was close friends with . . . JEFFREY DAHMER. --In case you don't remember, after growing up in Cleveland, Dahmer moved to Milwaukee and became one of the world's most notorious serial killers. He would kill men and boys, dismember them, and eat them. He was killed by a fellow prisoner in 1994. --Last week, John reported for jury duty in Cleveland. When the judge asked the potential jurors if any of them know someone convicted of a crime, John raised his hand. --When he said, quote, "I had a close friend in high school who killed 17 people" . . . and then told the room it was Dahmer . . . apparently the judge just froze up and the lawyers dropped their pens. --Naturally, John was dismissed from jury duty. --This isn't the only way that John's riding his childhood friendship with Dahmer. John's a cartoonist who goes by the name "Derf" . . . and right now, he's finishing up a graphic novel called "My Friend Dahmer". (Cleveland Plain Dealer)
TUESDAY'S QUICK HITS
According to new study, boys receive less sex education than girls, and are less likely to have a sex talk with their parents:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/philip-n-cohen/boys-get-less-sex-educati_b_780036.html
JIMMY KIMMEL has declared Wednesday, November 17th 'National Unfriend Day', to help you clear out your Facebook account:
http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/11/08/forget-facebook-kimmel-declares-nov-17-as-national-unfriend-day/
Can you tell a fake smile from a real one? Take this quiz:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/
According to breast cancer patients who get mastectomies, silicone implants are better than saline:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40074691/ns/health-cancer/
Tea Party groups in an Arizona town are outraged over the new curbside recycling program . . . because it's socialism and 'Obamacare' for garbage:
http://www.azcentral.com/community/scottsdale/articles/2010/11/07/20101107tea-party-trash-fountain-hills.html
NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A MIDDLE SCHOOL FOOTBALL TEAM PULLED A GREAT TRICK PLAY:
A middle school football team in Corpus Christi, Texas ran a trick play in their championship game on Saturday, and the video has become an instant hit on YouTube. Here's what they did: --After a penalty was called, the referee moved the ball five yards, and both teams lined up for the next play. But then the quarterback pretended the referee was stopping play again to mark off ANOTHER five yards, and he told his center to hand him the ball. --The center handed the quarterback the ball over his shoulder instead of hiking it through his legs . . . which technically started the play. Then the quarterback calmly walked past the other team's defensive line before making a mad dash to the end zone. --The game ended in a 6-6 tie. (--Search for "Penalty Play Driscoll Middle School.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UIdI8khMkw
#2.) TWO OLD LADIES USED A COMPUTER'S FACE-DISTORTION PROGRAM:
Last week, the big video on the Internet was a girl cracking up while she used one of those webcam programs to distort her face. But there's another one on YouTube of two white-haired OLD LADIES trying it. --And as an added bonus, they did it while bouncing to the BLACK EYED PEAS song "I Gotta Feeling". (--Search for "grandmas discover Photobooth.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doLHpxa-OyA
#3.) SOME DUMB KID LET HIS FRIENDS LIGHT HIS HEAD ON FIRE:
Apparently kids specifically need to be told that you can't pour nail polish remover on your head, then let your friends light it on fire. Because some kid did exactly that, and ended up with pretty severe burns on his head, neck, and face. --You can check out the video online. He had to put the fire out by dunking his own head in the toilet.
(--Search for "lighting hair on fire stunt goes bad." See the burns at :53.)
(--WARNING: This video includes the F-word and other profanity.)
http://www.break.com/index/lighting-hair-on-fire-stunt-goes-bad-1949659
#4.) HERE'S MORE EVIDENCE THE "REAL HOUSEWIVES" CAN'T SING:
KIM ZOLCIAK from "The Real Housewives Of Atlanta" is already responsible for such SMASH hit songs as "Google Me" and "Tardy For The Party", but apparently she thinks we want to hear MORE of her voice. --On Sunday's episode, she started recording a new song, and everyone in the studio was STUNNED at how bad she was. (--Search for "Kim Zolciak tries to sing again.")
http://www.dlisted.com/node/39549
FIVE BOGUS COLD AND FLU MYTHS YOUR MOM BELIEVED:
It's November, which means we're all about to start getting sick. And the magazine "Prevention" has a list of the five most common myths about how to prevent and recover from a cold. --They're all things your mom probably said were true . . . but she was wrong.
MYTH #1.) YOU'LL GET SICK IF YOU GO OUT IN THE COLD WITH WET HAIR. Researchers gave two groups of people the same cold virus, then exposed one group to cold, wet conditions while the other group stayed dry.
--You'd think it would make a difference, but it didn't. The people who stayed dry were just as likely to get sick.
MYTH #2.) FEED A COLD, STARVE A FEVER. Actually, you should drink plenty of water and keep eating either way. It doesn't matter what your symptoms are.
--When you have a head cold, your immune system needs the nutrients. And when you have a fever, your metabolism speeds up and needs more calories to keep fighting off infections.
MYTH #3.) IF YOU HAVE A COLD, YOU SHOULD AVOID DAIRY PRODUCTS. It might seem like dairy products make your body produce more mucus. But research shows that's probably just an example of the placebo effect.
--In other words, in one study, people who knew they were drinking milk reported more nasal symptoms than people who drank soy milk. But when they didn't know which kind of milk they were drinking, they only reported minimal effects for both.
MYTH #4.) YOU LOSE MOST OF YOUR BODY HEAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD. Wearing a hat DOES help you retain body heat, but not because that's where you lose most of your body heat.
--You only lose about 10% of your body heat through your head, neck, and face. Which makes sense, because your head, neck, and face account for about 10% of your body's surface area.
--It just FEELS like wearing a hat is really effective because your face is five times more sensitive to temperature changes than other parts of your body.
MYTH #5.) YOU SHOULDN'T EXERCISE WHEN YOU'RE SICK. The only way to get rid of a cold is to rest. But a little exercise can actually make you feel better.
--In a study from Ball State University, volunteers with bad colds were divided into two groups. The first group only rested, and the second group rested but also exercised for 30 minutes a day, five days a week.
--In both groups, symptoms lasted for just over eight days on average. But the people who exercised felt better during the afternoons and evenings.
--Just don't overdo it. Intense workouts that last more than 90 minutes can weaken your immune system.
(Prevention.com)
posted by Nazzy @ 5:53 AM
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