Tuesday, September 13, 2011


Madonna Made a Video About Her Hatred of Hydrangeas:

We learned last week that MADONNA hates hydrangeas. For some reason, this became far more of a "controversy" than it had any right to be. --So Madonna decided to make a YouTube video lampooning the whole thing. And it's actually pretty funny. (--Check it out here.)

Will Smith and Marc Anthony Hung Out Together at Last Night's Patriots-Dolphins Game:

WILL SMITH and MARC ANTHONY hit those rumors about Marc nailing Will's wife HEAD-ON last night, by partying it up at the "Monday Night Football" game between the Patriots and the Dolphins. --Sources say they were, quote, "extremely buddy-buddy" in a luxury box . . . along with Miami Heat star DWYANE WADE. --JADA PINKETT was NOT there. (--Here's a pic.) (TMZ)

And Now . . . Let's Watch Jim Carrey Sing The Bee Gees, Radiohead and Smashing Pumpkins:

JIM CARREY hit a New York City bar on Friday night with a band, and performed three songs: --"I Started a Joke" by the BEE GEES, "Creep" by RADIOHEAD and "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by SMASHING PUMPKINS. (--Here's video. WARNING!!! There's some unbleeped profanity in these clips.) --It's not clear if he was being serious. I wouldn't say he's the worst singer in the world, but I wouldn't go cutting an album if I were him, either. --Plus, the name of the Bee Gees song seems to fit in with his theme these days --First, there was that bizarre declaration of love for Emma Stone. (--When Jim introduced "Creep" on Friday night, he called it his new theme song . . . which could also be a sly tie-in to the Emma Stone video.) --Then last week, he was seen defiantly spray-painting stuff on the New York City building where he has an art studio . . . even though he was told by city officials not to. (--You can see video of that here.)

A Complete Nutbag Has Written a Book About Jessica Simpson . . . and His Supposed Affair with Her:

Stalkers are usually no laughing matter. But it's hard not to find humor in Marce William Burchell . . . a man who has written a 30-page book about his supposed affair with JESSICA SIMPSON. --Check out the title of this thing: "The True Story of Jessica Ann Simpson's 22 month long attempt to seduce a married man - her very Active Super Secret Sex life: True Story Jessica Simpson Seduction of A Married Man (Volume 1)". --Yes, that's the full title of this thing. Burchell claims this book blows the lid off of how Jessica cheats on all her men . . . including TONY ROMO and her current fiancé, ERIC JOHNSON. Not to mention how she ruined Burchell's life. --This might be the best part of it all: The book costs a hefty $30, but Burchell claims that all proceeds are going to the development of a revolutionary new electric car that will only cost $10,000 to buy and will, quote, "make all gasoline-powered cars obsolete." --Here are the specs on this beauty . . . quote, "It can carry seven passengers and cargo, has a top speed of 180 miles per hour, can go 300 miles per charge and accelerates from zero to 60 miles per hour in less than 4 seconds." --As for why he wrote the book, he says, quote, "This book was not written to hurt her, but was written as my only way to heal emotionally from the severe trauma and pain she put me through by her heartless cruel treatment of me." --Not surprisingly, Jessica's security team has a profile on this guy. He's been bugging her for years. (--If you'd like to purchase this beauty, it's on Amazon. Here's the link.)

Terrence Howard Has Apologized to a Guy for Threatening to Kill Him:

TERRENCE HOWARD has apologized to the man he THREATENED TO KILL a few weeks ago. --Here's your backstory: On August 31st, Terrence left a voicemail on a guy's phone that said, quote, "[N-word], you been calling my wife . . . If you call my wife again I'm going to come to your house and I'm going to cut your [effing] throat. --"Understand that. I'm gonna tell you this one time. You call my wife again, I'm going to kill you." --Well, the guy who received that call says the whole thing was kind of a misunderstanding. Apparently, he was out drinking with a female friend who believed she had gotten a hold of Terrence's phone number. --She decided to make a prank call, professing her love of Terrence. But her phone was dead, so she used this guy's. As it turned out, she wasn't calling Terrence's phone, but his wife's. --The guy says, quote, "I'm assuming [Terrence's wife] got the voicemail of my friend gushing about Terrence and questioned him about it." --Last Wednesday, the guy got ANOTHER voicemail from Terrence . . . but this time he was APOLOGIZING. --He said, quote, "I'm so sorry for calling you and speaking that way. I thought you were somebody that's been harassing my wife. Please forgive me." --He also texted the guy, saying, quote, "My wife told me that she was receiving obscene text from you and that she was being harassed. Therefore I responded with the protective nature that a husband has for his wife. --"Forgive me for the anger, but as you are watching over your girl friend, I too am devoted to my love." (--You can listen to both voicemails and read the text here.)
Tyler Perry Is the Highest-Paid Man In Entertainment:

If you think TYLER PERRY is EVERYWHERE, you're right. He's had so much going on over the past few years that Forbes.com just named him the Highest-Paid Man in Entertainment. --From May of 2010 to May of 2011, Tyler pocketed $130 MILLION. --His closest competition was producer JERRY BRUCKHEIMER, who made $113 million. STEVEN SPIELBERG finished third, with $107 million.

#1.) Tyler Perry, $130 million

#2.) Jerry Bruckheimer, $113 million

#3.) Steven Spielberg, $107 million

#4.) Elton John, $100 million

#5.) Simon Cowell, $90 million

#6.) Author James Patterson, $84 million

#7.) Dr. Phil, $80 million

#8.) Leonardo DiCaprio, $77 million

#9.) Howard Stern, $76 million

#10.) Tiger Woods, $75 million

(--Check out the list in annoying sideshow format here.)

Serena Williams Was Fined $2,000 for Insulting the Ump at the U.S. Open:

SERENA WILLIAMS has been fined $2,000 for insulting the ump who called her on a violation at the U.S. Open on Sunday. --The U.S. Tennis Association says Serena will not be punished any further because, quote, "her conduct does not rise to the level of a major offense." --Two grand isn't much of a punishment, though. Even though she lost, Serena earned $1.4 million from the tournament. (--You can read the story of Serena's Sunday outburst . . . and see the video . . . here.)

Manny Ramirez Was Arrested for Slapping His Wife:

Former Major League Baseball star MANNY RAMIREZ was arrested last night in Weston, Florida, after he allegedly slapped his wife during an argument. --Manny's wife says she hit her head on the headboard of her bed after he hit her. Manny says he DIDN'T hit her, but she hit her head after he, quote, "shrugged" her. As of late last night, Manny was still in custody. (--Here's his mugshot.) (Deadspin) --Manny started his career with the Cleveland Indians, but he also played for the Red Sox, the White Sox, the Dodgers and the Tampa Bay Rays. He retired earlier this year after failing a drug test.)
"Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star" Got a 0% Rating on RottenTomatoes.com:

If you've seen any of the obnoxious, unfunny ads for the new comedy, "Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star", then you know . . . without seeing the movie . . . that it just plain SUCKS. (--You can see one of those annoying TV spots by hitting this link, clicking on the word "Video", then clicking on the video in the middle.) --But believe it or not, it sucks a lot worse than you think. Because it got a ZERO PERCENT RATING on RottenTomatoes.com. --The deal with Rotten Tomatoes is that they look at multiple reviews of a given film, then give it a percentage rating based on the number of positive reviews it got vs. the number of negative. --So what they're saying is that "Bucky Larson" got NO POSITIVE REVIEWS. And they looked at 22 total. --"Bucky Larson" stars NICK SWARDSON as a loser who discovers that his parents were once famous porno stars . . . so he decides to break into the business himself. --It was produced by ADAM SANDLER, who came up with the concept . . . and it co-stars DON JOHNSON as porno director "Miles Deep". --It opened this past weekend with a PITIFUL take of $1.4 million. (--To be fair, though, it wasn't the worst-performing new movie of the weekend. The horror flick "Creature" took in $331,000. Both movies opened on about 1,500 screens.) (--"Creature" now has the record for the WORST box office take for a movie that's opened on at least 1,500 screens. But to its credit, it got a whopping 11% rating on the Tomatometer.) (???) --Getting a ZERO on your Tomatometer is apparently pretty rare, but here are some of the films that have accomplished the feat . . .

--"One Missed Call" . . . (--A 2007 horror flick.)

--"Undefeated" . . . (--The Sarah Palin documentary that was supposed to be a huge hit and make us all love her . . . but failed on both counts.)

--"Surfer, Dude" . . . (--2008 flick with Matthew McConaughey as a surfer.)

--"Strange Wilderness" . . . (--A 2008 "nature" comedy starring Steve Zahn, Justin Long and Jonah Hill.)

--"S. Darko" . . . (--A HORRIBLE sequel to a BRILLIANT FILM, "Donnie Darko" . . . which, incidentally, has an 85% rating.)

--"National Lampoon's Pledge This" . . . (--Paris Hilton at her very best.)

There's a "Point Break" Remake in the Works:

PATRICK SWAYZE . . . KEANU REEVES . . . GARY BUSEY. --I don't know how you can recapture the kind of magic that those three men combined can make, but somebody is about to try. --There's a "Point Break" remake in the works. --For those of you who are criminally unfamiliar with the 1991 original, it's about a cop who goes undercover to bust a gang of extreme sports nuts who are suspected of also being bank robbers. --The INSANELY POETIC ending features Keanu . . . as the cop . . . refusing to arrest Swayze . . . the leader of the gang. --Instead, he lets him paddle out to catch a massive, super-dangerous wave, which we ASSUME kills him . . . although that's never made clear. --It was directed by KATHRYN BIGELOW, who went on to win an Oscar for "The Hurt Locker". --There's no word who'll be directing or starring in this one.

Kate Gosselin Thinks Her Ex-Husband Jon's Life Is "Mediocre" . . . Because He Just Has a Regular Job:

If you didn't think you could dislike KATE GOSSELIN more than you already do, I can help. Kate was on the "Today" show yesterday to talk about her future . . . now that "Kate Plus 8" is over. The series finale aired last night. --Kate insisted . . . repeatedly . . . that she's in the market for a new TV gig, and rejected JON GOSSELIN'S advice to get a regular job and go back to a normal life. --Kate said, quote, "Jon may be accepting of mediocre for his kids, and working a regular job . . . I want the best for my kids and the best opportunities, not unlike every parent. --"I think that to be a good parent is to work as hard as you can and give them the best opportunities in life, and [reality TV] has provided that. --"I think at this point, the best opportunity for all of us would be me continuing on TV as a way to provide for my kids. Something that's exciting and challenging for me has been TV, and I wouldn't be opposed to it." --She doesn't have any offers yet, but it sounds like she'd like to do another reality show with her kids. She said, quote, "If the right thing came along, I think we are all still in agreement with it . . . I'm sure you will see my kids again at some point." (--Here's video of the interview.) --Kate obviously realized later that she once again said something obnoxious and snobbish . . . because she Tweeted that she didn't mean to diss anyone who has a "mediocre" life. --She said, quote, "I meant this job is not a career according to Jon, but TV is and is hard, but will provide [better] opportunities for my kids [than] nursing!"

Check Out Ashton Kutcher in the New "Two and a Half Men" Opening Sequence:

CBS has released the new opening sequence for "Two and a Half Men" . . . featuring ASHTON KUTCHER instead of CHARLIE SHEEN'S. (--You can check it out, here.) (--You can watch the old version here.)

Some Videos from the Charlie Sheen Roast Have Hit the Internet:

"Entertainment Weekly" has posted a few clips from the "Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen". It taped last weekend, but won't air until next Monday night. --There's a clip of SLASH playing during Charlie's introduction . . . and one of roast master SETH MACFARLANE reading an obituary that he wrote for Charlie . . . and a video of JEFFREY ROSS mocking Charlie's family.

Christina Aguilera Is Not Getting Fired from "The Voice" for Spending Too Much Time with Her Boyfriend on the Set:

CHRISTINA AGUILERA has already signed on to do Season Two of "The Voice" . . . but yesterday, the website X17online.com claimed the producers were thinking of NOT bringing her back for a third season. -A so-called "source" said, quote, "She doesn't spend time with her contestants like she's supposed to. She doesn't participate. She spends most of her time on the set with her boyfriend." They also say Christina was "drinking on the job." --But an NBC rep denied this . . . saying, quote, "There's absolutely no truth to the rumor." (--Season Two of "The Voice" premieres right after the Super Bowl.)

Dr. Phil Didn't Pay Casey Anthony's Parents for His Interview . . . But He Made a Donation to Their Charity:

DR. PHIL says he didn't pay for his interview with Cindy and George Anthony, the parents of Casey Anthony. But his production company did donate an unspecified amount to their charity, Caylee's Fund. --Yesterday, on the "Today" show, Dr. Phil said he was comfortable with the arrangement they made, and doesn't think the Anthonys will take any of that money for themselves. (--Here's video of that interview. It includes a preview of Dr. Phil's interview, which will air later TODAY. The donation part begins at the 3:30 mark.)

Tuesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"90210" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW.

--"It's Worth What?" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.

--"Ringer" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW. (--Sarah Michelle Gellar plays twins: One's a recovering junkie and the other is rich with "a dark present." The junkie witnesses a murder, and is being chased by the mob. In an effort to hide, she begins masquerading as her sister. Here's a preview.)

--"America's Got Talent" [Performance Show] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. (--The final four acts perform in Hollywood.)

--"Jacqueline Kennedy: In Her Own Words" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--A previous audio interview between Jacqueline Kennedy and historian Arthur Schlesinger Jr. covering her life in the White House, her marriage and family conducted shortly after the death of President John F. Kennedy.)

--"Wedding Fabulous: Sherri Shepherd Gets Married" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Style. (--Sherri Shepherd from "The View" let cameras follow her wedding to TV writer Lamar Sally.)

--"Parenthood" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.

--"Auction Hunters" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Spike TV.

--"Big Sexy" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.


"NHL 12" Hits Stores This Week:

--"NHL 12" (E10+) . . . on Xbox360 and PS3. Some new features for this year's game include the ability to check other players through the glass, the option to play 2011 Winter Classic outside at Heinz Field, and the opportunity to play as legends like Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, and Patrick Roy. Also new this year, you can fight with the goalies . . . and goalies can fight each other! (Trailer)

--"Nicktoons MLB" (E) . . . on Xbox360, Wii, and DS. Your favorite characters from Nickelodeon cartoons like "SpongeBob SquarePants", "Invader ZIM", and "Ren and Stimpy" take on real live Major League Baseball all-stars. (Trailer)

--"God of War Origins Collection" (M) . . . on PS3. The two "God of War" PSP games, "Chains of Olympus" and "Ghost of Sparta" have been updated and put onto one disc. Both games will feature HD graphics and 3D support. (Trailer)

Video Game Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

#1.) Check out some stats from the "Gears of War 3" beta, including 927 million total kills. Not bad for a game that doesn't even come out for two weeks. (Full Story)

#2.) According to researchers, "Dead Space 2" is the scariest game on Xbox 360. (Full Story)

#3.) You can download "Red Dead Redemption's" DLC pack "Myths and Mavericks" for free today. (Full Story)

#4.) "A Game of Thrones: Genesis", a real time strategy game based on the books behind the HBO series, now has a release date of September 29th. This one is only available on the PC. (Full Story)


--"Thor" - Chris Hemsworth is Thor, the Norse god of thunder. He's banished to Earth and stripped of his powers after he reignites an ancient war in Asgard, the world of the gods. Natalie Portman is one of the scientists who finds him, and Anthony Hopkins plays Odin, the father of the gods back in Asgard.

--"Hesher" - Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays Hesher, a guy who moves into a family's garage without asking. Rainn Wilson's mourning the death of his wife, so he can't muster the energy to kick him out . . . and Hesher shocks the family into living again. Natalie Portman produced it, and also stars in it as a nerdy supermarket cashier who befriends Rainn Wilson's son and defends him from a bully.

--"The Tempest" - It's based on the Shakespeare play and stars Helen Mirren as a female version of Prospero. She uses magic to summon a storm that shipwrecks a group of people on her island, allowing her to get revenge on the man who stole her title as Duke of Milan. --The rest of the cast includes Russell Brand, Chris Cooper, Alan Cumming, Alfred Molina, and Djimon Hounsou as the beast Caliban. Which seems kind of wrong that the only black guy in the cast has the part of "the beast", but whatever.

--"Love, Wedding, Marriage" - Mandy Moore plays a marriage counselor who has trouble with her own marriage when she finds out her parents are getting divorced. "Twilight" stud Kellan Lutz plays her husband, and her folks are played by Jane Seymour and James Brolin.

--"The Silent House" - A Spanish horror movie about a woman and her father spending the night in an old house they're going to repair. It was shot in one continuous take, and the last 78 minutes are her attempts to escape after her dad disappears.

--The main chick is Elizabeth Olsen . . . the younger sister of the Olsen twins, who's actually building a decent career for herself by appearing in real movies. (Trailer)
TV Series On DVD:

--"The Big Bang Theory: Season 4" . . . a three-disc DVD set.

--"Blue Bloods: Season 1" . . . a six-disc DVD set.

--"Blue Mountain State: Season 2" . . . a two-disc DVD set.

--"Camelot: The Complete First Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.

--"Ghost Hunters: Season 6.1" . . . a three-disc DVD set.

--"The Good Wife: The Second Season" . . . a six-disc DVD set.

--"Glee: The Complete Second Season" . . . a six-disc DVD set.

--"Grey's Anatomy: The Complete Seventh Season" . . . a six-disc DVD set.

--"Grounded For Life: Season 1" . . . a boxed-disc set. (--It ran for five seasons.)

--"Grounded For Life: Season 2" . . . a boxed-disc set. (--It ran for five seasons.)

--"It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia: Season 6" . . . a two-disc DVD set.

--"Outsourced: The Complete Series" . . . a three-disc DVD set.

--"Private Practice: The Complete Fourth Season" . . . a five-disc DVD set.

--"Rescue Me: The Complete Sixth Season" . . . a five-disc DVD set.

--"Sanctuary: The Complete Third Season" . . . a six-disc DVD set.

--"Supernatural: The Complete Sixth Season" . . . a five-disc DVD set.

--"That '70s Show: Season 1" . . . a three-disc DVD set. (--It ran for eight seasons.)

--"That '70s Show: Season 2" . . . a three-disc DVD set. (--It ran for eight seasons.)


This Week's CD Releases:

--"Welcome 2 My Nightmare", Alice Cooper (--The sequel to his 1975 classic "Welcome to My Nightmare". His guests include country singer Vince Gill, Rob Zombie, John 5 and Ke$ha, who sings on "What Baby Wants".)

--"The Sea of Memories", Bush (--This is their fifth album . . . and their first in 10 years. Singer Gavin Rossdale and drummer Robin Goodridge are back from the '90s lineup, but guitarist Nigel Pulsford and bassist Dave Parsons have been replaced by Chris Traynor and Corey Britz, respectively.)

--"Staind", Staind (--This is their seventh album.)

--"Panic of Girls", Blondie (--This is their ninth album, and their first in eight years.)

--"Own the Night", Lady Antebellum (--Includes the single "Just A Kiss".)

Cyndi Lauper Says She Messed Up the National Anthem Because She Was Emotional About September 11th:

CYNDI LAUPER has an excuse for messing up the National Anthem at the U.S. Open in New York over the weekend: She was emotional about the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks. --She says, quote, "It was an awesome experience. I got choked up in the middle remembering 9/11. The moon shone down on us, and I tried to say a prayer at the same time. I hope I didn't mess up too bad. I wanted it to be comforting." (--You know what? I'll buy that. Her performance came immediately after a moment of silence in remembrance of 9/11 . . . and it's hard to believe Cyndi would use 9/11 as an excuse if it hadn't affected her.)

Coldplay Has Released a New Song, and Announced a Collaboration with Rihanna:

COLDPLAY has released a new song. It's called "Paradise", and it's the second single off their upcoming album "Mylo Xyloto", which comes out on October 24th. (--You can check it out, here.) --Coldplay also announced that RIHANNA makes a guest appearance on the album. She sings on a track called "Princess of China".


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

"Undercover Brother" superstar EDDIE GRIFFIN walked into a Las Vegas chapel with his fiancée on Thursday, paid $199 and got married. (Full Story)

Is KAT VON D wearing wigs . . . because stress is causing her hair to fall out? (Full Story)

JAMES FRANCO offered to buy some artwork that a 13-year-old fan made of him. (Full Story)

Wanna see pictures of JUSTIN BIEBER hanging out with a whale? (Full Story)

JENNIFER ANISTON'S mother was rushed to the hospital after suffering a stroke over the weekend. (Full Story)

"South Park" creators TREY PARKER and MATT STONE say their Tony Award-winning musical "The Book of Mormon" will definitely be made into a movie . . . although it's still probably a few years off. (Full Story)

The new issue of "Playboy" costs 60 cents, just like it did in 1960 . . . which is a tie-in to NBC's new retro series "The Playboy Club". (Full Story)

HOLLY DURST and MICHAEL STAGLIANO took home the $250,000 prize on the "Bachelor Pad" finale last night. (Full Story)

Former "All My Children" star Mary Fickett died last week. She was 83. Mary played Ruth since the soap began in 1970 . . . up through 2000. She also has the distinction of being the first soap star to win an Emmy. (Full Story)
(--Mary retired from "All My Children" in 1996. She briefly returned in 1999, before leaving for good the following year.)

SNOOKI just got a new tattoo. It's a big shoulder tattoo . . . and it features a crown with a heart, a cross and a Hello Kitty bow. (Picture)

MICK JAGGER has confirmed that he and the rest of the ROLLING STONES are discussing what they're going to do for their upcoming 50th anniversary . . . but he says they haven't finalized a plan yet. So, there's no tour or album, YET. (Full Story)

QUEEN guitarist BRIAN MAY says he was SUICIDAL in 1991 after both FREDDIE MERCURY and his father passed away at around the same time. He says, quote, "I didn't want to live. I'd lost myself completely . . . [but] gradually, the suicidal feelings went away." (Full Story)

On October 11th, JUDAS PRIEST will put out an album called "The Chosen Few". It's like a greatest hits album, except Judas Priest didn't select the tracks, they were "chosen" by other musicians. (--You can find a complete list of the songs . . . and the people who selected them, here.)

STEVEN TYLER'S dad died over the weekend. He was 95. (Full Story)

JOE JONAS has released his video for "Just in Love". It's set in Paris . . . and at times, it seems as if you're watching a pretentious foreign movie. (Video) (--Joe really wants to be taken seriously as an adult solo act. Is that working for you?)


Less Than 3% of Our Time Online is Spent Reading News . . . 35% Falls Under the Category of "Other (Including Porn)":

Yesterday, the people at Nielsen published a report on how Americans spend their time online. And while the breakdown has some new eye-opening info, one truth about the Internet still remains. Nothing. Beats. Porno. --Nielsen divided our Internet usage into 11 categories, and the one that gets the largest percentage of our time is, quote, "Other (including porn)." That gets 35.1% of our Internet time. --That beat out the second-most popular Internet activity . . . social networking. We spend 22.5% of our time online using sites like Facebook and Twitter, or reading blogs. --We spend almost 10 times more time social networking than we do on the last-place finisher . . . reading about current events and global news. We only spend 2.6% of our time online focused on news . . . and yes, that's dead last. --After "Other (including porn)" and social networking, we spend 9.8% of our online time playing games . . . 7.6% of our online time on email . . . and 4.5% of our online time on web portals like AOL and Yahoo. (Poynter.org) (--You can see the entire top 11 here.)

Women are Twice as Likely to Break Into Their Partner's Email and Facebook . . . and Also Twice as Likely to Start Fights About What They Find:

Gender stereotypes say that women like to SPY and GOSSIP more than men. And a new survey has found that stereotype is . . . absolutely right. --In the survey, about 20% of women admitted they've broken into their partner's email or Facebook. HALF as many men . . . 10% . . . have done the same. --The survey also found that 15% of women have used the info they found to start a FIGHT. Less than half as many man, 7% have done the same. (MedIndia)

The Unhappiest Worker in the Country is . . . a 42-Year-Old Single Woman Earning Less Than $100,000:

A new study examined workers to figure out the average traits of the HAPPIEST and UNHAPPIEST white collar worker. (--White collar workers only . . . which is why "crack whore" and "assistant crack whore" aren't on the list.) --And the study found that the HAPPIEST worker is . . . a 39-year-old male who's married, makes between $150,000 and $200,000-a-year, has a job in senior management, has one young kid, and a wife who works part-time. -The UNHAPPIEST worker is . . . a 42-year-old woman who's unmarried, makes less than $100,000-a-year, and has a job that SHOULD pay more, like doctor or lawyer. --In other words . . . the happiest is a man with a lucrative career who can provide for his family but not do a lot of chores . . . and the unhappiest is a woman who feels like she's underpaid and doesn't go home to a husband or family. Ouch. (Newser)

In Shocking News . . . Workers Say Mondays are the Worst Day of the Week:

You might want to sit down for this SHOCKING, EARTH-SHATTERING NEWS. --In a new survey, workers voted MONDAYS as the worst day of the week. 33% of the people surveyed said they hated Mondays the most, which made it the number one answer. --The average person said they complain a total of 34 minutes on Monday morning, versus about 22 minutes for the rest of the week. --The biggest complaints about Mondays are: Heavier workloads . . . traffic . . . trouble being efficient . . . and feeling sick after the weekend. (AOL Jobs)

The Average Person Apologizes 2,920 Times a Year:

Wow . . . I almost feel like we should all apologize for being so apologetic. --According to a great new survey, people say "I'm sorry" WAY, WAY TOO MUCH. --They found that the average person apologizes approximately 2,920 TIMES every year. Let's break that down . . . --That's EIGHT "I'm sorries" every single day. --That's 56 apologizes every week. --And that's somewhere around 250,000 apologies in a lifetime. --There's more. The survey also found that about one in eight people apologize at least TWENTY times a day. --And, 43% of people admit that they regularly apologize when OTHER PEOPLE do something wrong to THEM . . . like someone bumps you on the sidewalk and even though it clearly wasn't your fault, you say "I'm sorry." (Express.co.uk)

Here's the Real Story on the People Who Were Suspiciously Using That Airplane Bathroom on 9/11:

The tenth anniversary of 9/11 was not the time to do anything even REMOTELY suspicious on an airplane. And three people on a Frontier Airlines flight from San Diego to Detroit on Sunday afternoon got swept up in that. --You might have heard that they were falsely accused of being in the bathroom together for a long time. And according to a lot of reports, they were accused of having a THREESOME. So they were detained when the plane landed. --The passengers were two men and a woman. Their names haven't been released, and none of them even knew each other. But all three were sitting in the same row on the flight. --Apparently, the two men left the row at one point and were in or around the bathroom. And the crew told the pilot that two men and a woman from one row were spending a, quote, "extraordinarily long time" in the bathroom. --That was enough to set off the September 11th red flags. The FBI got involved, two NORAD F-16 jets started following the flight, and escorted the plane until it safely landed at Detroit. --All three passengers were questioned, so rumors started circulating about terrorism or mile-high threesomes . . . but neither was true. --Turns out that one of the men was SICK, which is why he was in the bathroom so long. The others were just using the bathroom at the same time. They were eventually released. --All 116 people on the flight were also questioned. An FBI spokeswoman says that everyone was, quote, "very cooperative." (Detroit News)

Stores Are Putting Up Their Christmas Decorations Now . . . A Month Earlier Than Usual:

Stores are trying to get the holiday shopping season started even earlier than usual this year. --Costco rolled out their Christmas merchandise on September 1st, a week before LABOR DAY, which is technically still SUMMER. Jo-Ann Fabric and A.C. Moore had holiday fabric on the shelves in August. --Home Depot is rolling out their holiday trimmings next week, and Kmart and Sears join the party on September 25th. By the end of the month Walmart and JC Penney will start the Christmas season too. --That may seem ridiculously early. Most stores waited until mid-October last year. But more than one in three shoppers, including 42% of women, say they plan on having some of their Christmas shopping done by Halloween. --The one store refusing to follow the trend is Nordstrom. They plan to wait until after Thanksgiving to decorate for Christmas, just like every other year. --Nordstrom spokesperson Pamela Lopez said, quote, "We believe in celebrating one holiday at a time." (USA Today)

A Barbecue Restaurant is Suing After Being Listed Under "Animal Carcass Removal" in the Phonebook:

We haven't seen a story about a controversy in the phonebook in a long time. So I guess that makes this new and exciting? --Hunter Lacey owns barbecue restaurants in Bozeman and Belgrade, Montana called Bar 3 Bar-B-Q. And he's SUING Dex Media, the company that makes the local phonebook. --Because in their yellow pages, instead of listing his restaurant under the restaurants category . . . they put it under the category ANIMAL CARCASS REMOVAL. And alphabetically, it's the FIRST listing. --Someone even clipped it out and sent it to JAY LENO, and he used it on the "Tonight Show" during his "Headlines" segment. --Hunter says the animal carcass removal listing was bad . . . and the mocking on Leno just made things worse. He says he's lost $18,254 in the past two years because of it, and all the money he's used to build his brand has been wiped out. --He also thinks that an employee at the phonebook might've done this to him on purpose, since he didn't buy an ad from them. --So . . . he's SUING Dex Media. He was looking for a $417,000 settlement, but Dex refused, so now it's headed to court. (Missoulian)

A Driver Got a Ticket for Flashing His Headlights to Warn Drivers of a Speed Trap . . . and is Suing the State of Florida:

It may not be on the driving test, but every driver should know that when you pass a speed trap, you flash your headlights at oncoming drivers to warn them. --Warning other drivers is illegal in some places . . . but it's okay to do it in New York, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Ohio and Virginia. --Technically, it's also legal in Massachusetts and Maryland, although cops have loopholes they can use to ticket you anyway. --But it's illegal in Florida. 2,400 drivers have been ticketed for doing it in the last five years, including 38-year-old Erich Campbell of Land O'Lakes (--a suburb of Tampa). --Erich got ticketed for flashing his lights to warn drivers of a police speed trap back in December of 2009. He fought the ticket and won when a traffic court threw out the fine. --But Erich wasn't done. He filed a class action lawsuit, saying that flashing your lights is free speech. He also pointed out that there isn't actually a law banning it in Florida. --If Florida loses, they'll have to refund the fines paid by all 2,400 drivers. While waiting for the outcome, the state has told troopers to stop ticketing people for flashing their headlights. (St. Petersburg Times)


A Man Breaks Into a Restaurant in the Middle of the Night . . . and is Caught by Cops Cooking Himself Some Chicken Tenders:

I can sympathize with this guy. It's late at night, you've had between four and 17 drinks, you're dying for some food . . . but no one's delivering and you're obviously too drunk to hit a drive-thru. So what do you do? --19-year-old Hachem Gomez of Mount Prospect, Illinois had an answer.--Early Saturday, police in Mount Prospect responded to a burglar alarm at a restaurant called Mr. Beef and Pizza.
-When they got there, they found Hachem inside. But he wasn't robbing the place. No . . . he was making himself a meal. The cops caught him pouring himself a soda and cooking up some chicken tenders and fries.--Even though he might've just been hungry, breaking in is still a legit crime . . . and he was arrested for felony burglary. (Arlington Heights Daily Herald)


Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Photo of the Day: JC Penney may have pulled their "I'm too pretty to do homework, so my brother has to do it for me" shirt. But you can still get your "Allergic to Algebra" t-shirt at Forever 21. (Full Story)

Check out some census facts for unmarried and single Americans: 43% of adults are unmarried . . . 45% of them are women . . . 61% of unmarried adults were never married . . . and 24% are divorced . . . the rest are widowed. (Full Story)

A woman in Chicago was backing out of her driveway when her accelerator got stuck. She accidentally crashed through her neighbor's house, and killed a guy playing video games. The guy's roommate survived . . . but when police looked over the damage, they found his pot-growing operation, gun, and cash. He was arrested. (Full Story)

A light went out at a major intersection in Pasadena, California last week, and cars backed up for a mile during rush hour. So a guy decided to help out by directing traffic since the police wouldn't come, and cleared it up in ten minutes. When the police finally DID show up . . . they gave him a ticket. (Full Story)

Donald Rumsfeld cancelled his "New York Times" subscription, after being offended by one of their columns on the 9/11 anniversary. (Full Story)

Mugshot of the Day: A guy with horns, piercings, and a 666 tattoo. (Full Story)


#1.) Is This Three-Year-Old Girl Adorable . . . or Racist?

There's a new video online of a three-year-old white girl who won't stop crying because she thinks she's about to turn BLACK. And it's all her dad's fault. --According to the YouTube post, it started when she asked why one of her BARBIE dolls was black . . . and he told her that ALL little girls turn black on their fourth birthday. Then she freaked out. --In all fairness, she's three . . . so you can't really call her racist, because she'd probably be just as freaked out if he said she was turning ORANGE. But maybe not. --At one point in the video, he tells her she'll just turn brown . . . like an M&M . . . and she's THRILLED. But then he flip-flops again, and says she'll be as black as "midnight." And at that point, she just hits him and throws herself down on the couch. (--Search for "I Don't Want to Turn Black." Around :42, he tells her she'll just turn brown. Then he flip-flops at 1:16.)

#2.) Three Cops Were Caught Dirty Dancing at the West Indian Day Parade in New York . . . While Shootings Were Happening Nearby:

Shootings near the West Indian Day parade route in Brooklyn last weekend left three people dead, and two cops injured. Which is why people are so upset about a new video posted online. --It shows at least three other cops on the parade route DANCING AND GRINDING with half-naked women who were celebrating. The NYPD says they're investigating. (--Search for "NY Cops Wilding Out on Labor Day.")

#3.) And Now . . . A Dog Balances 36 Treats on Its Nose at Once:

Have you ever tried that trick with your dog where you balance a treat on its nose? Well, most dogs can't do it. But there's at least one dog on YouTube that can balance 36 OF THEM. It's like an entire Jenga tower on its nose. --And of course in the end, the owner finally says, "Get 'em!" (--Search for "Dog Balancing 36 Treats." He says "get 'em" at :15.)

#4.) "The Evolution of Laughs" Features Laughter from Babies, Kids, Teens, Adults, and the Elderly:

There's a great new video on Break.com called "The Evolution of Laughs". It's a montage of crazy laughs that starts with babies, and ends with old people. If you're having a rough day, watch the whole thing . . . it's impossible not to laugh.

#5.) A Russian Guy Walked Around Asking Women If He Could Grab Their Breasts . . . And in One Month, 1,000 Women Said Yes:

Some Russian guy has come up the IDEA OF THE YEAR, and it's very simple: He grabbed a camera, and for one month, he walked around asking women if he could grab their BREASTS. --And Russia women must be much more open to groping than women here are, because you'll never guess how many said yes. In one month, he grabbed the breasts of 1,000 WOMEN. Or in other words, 2,000 total boobs. --The video is called "1,000 Girls, Two Hands, One Epic Month". And after it was all done . . . he went to an event and shook the hand of Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin. (--The boob-grabbing starts at :58.)

#6.) The Winklevoss Twins Did a New Ad for Wonderful Pistachios:

--You know you've fallen far when you ALMOST invent Facebook . . . then end up doing NUT commercials. You know those annoying ads for Wonderful Pistachios? Levi Johnston did one a while back, and so have Snooki, Khloe Kardashian, and Chad Ochocinco. And now there's a new one featuring the WINKLEVOSS TWINS. --First, one of them cracks open a pistachio in a weird way with his hand. Then the other one says it's a good way to do it . . . like they should trademark it or something. And the tagline is, "The Winklevoss Twins do it cautiously." (--Search for "Winklevoss Twins Wonderful Pistachios.")

The Five Main Reasons We All Gain Weight This Time of Year:

People always start gaining weight this time of year, so DR. OZ put out a list of the five main reasons it happens . . . and what you can do about it. Here they are.

#1.) Not Enough Water. When it's hot out, we drink a lot without even thinking about it. But once it starts to cool down, we drink less. And the more water you drink, the less likely you are to snack. --Maybe you've heard this before, but Dr. Oz thinks it's worth repeating: In one study, dieters who drank two eight-ounce glasses of water 20 to 30 minutes before each meal lost 40% more weight.

#2.) Less Time Outdoors. It's unavoidable once the days get shorter and the temperature drops. So you have to do more INDOOR activities . . . like going to the gym, or playing basketball at an indoor court. --Dr. Oz also suggests buying a pedometer . . . which measures how many steps you take in a day . . . so you'll know exactly how much you're moving.

#3.) Comfort Foods. You're more likely to eat baked goods, simply because more people start baking this time of year. And when you eat too much fat and sugar, it tricks your brain into thinking you still need food. --Plus, instead of grilling on the barbecue . . . which is a fairly healthy way to cook . . . you eat more things like casserole and mashed potatoes.

#4.) Snacking on Junk Food. This one kind of goes hand-in-hand with "Comfort Foods," but it's different because it has a lot to do with one specific holiday: Halloween. --It's only a month-and-a-half away, which means pretty soon everyone will have little bowls of bite-sized candy sitting around. --So pay attention to what you're eating between meals. And instead of candy, eat more healthy snacks, like apples and carrots.

#5.) Too Much Alcohol. It depends on what you're drinking, but every ounce-and-a-half of alcohol generally equals about 90 calories. So a few drinks can easily derail a diet. --Dr. Oz says that if you're really serious about keeping your summer body, you should avoid alcohol COMPLETELY, and just drink water. (Yahoo)


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