TURKEY FIRE

***HOW TO EXTINGUISH A BURNING TURKEY***

Here's what to do in case your turkey catches on FIRE thanks to your terrible cooking skills tomorrow . . .

#1.) CLOSE THE OVEN DOORS. Shut the doors of the oven and the broiler . . . and turn the oven off. DON'T try to pull a flaming turkey out of the oven . . . you'll risk grease burns on your arms and face.

#2.) OPEN NEARBY WINDOWS. Smoke will probably pour out of the oven vent, so turn on the vent-fan above the stove (--if you have one) and open up the windows to help clear the smoke.

#3.) WAIT FIVE MINUTES. Obviously, ovens have been designed for high heat, so it should contain the fire without a problem. Keep the oven door closed to avoid adding oxygen to the fire.

#4.) SLIGHTLY OPEN THE OVEN DOOR. After the five minutes is up, the turkey should have burned itself out. Keep your face WELL AWAY from the oven when you open the door. If it's still burning, close the door and wait a couple more minutes.

#5.) REMOVE THE BURNED BIRD. If the fire continues to burn for more than 10 minutes, call the fire department. If it stops, take the turkey out. Often, only the skin and fat will be burned, so you still might be able to salvage some of the delicious meat.
(Worst Case Scenario Guide: Holidays)