END THE CYCLE

***THREE WAYS TO END THE BREAK-UP CYCLE***

On-again, off-again couples are caught between wanting freedom, and worrying they won't find something better. Here's how to decide whether to sign on for the long haul or get out for good . . .

#1.) EXPECT THE WORST-CASE-SCENARIO. Some people keep returning to a struggling relationship because they think they can change the other person. But that's wishful thinking. Instead, assume that the bad behavior will only get WORSE.

Then do some serious thinking. If the bad behavior doesn't improve, would you still want to be with the person?

#2.) GET ADVICE FROM SOMEONE YOU TRUST. Therapists fill this role perfectly, but trusted family and friends can be just as helpful. They can give you an unbiased opinion about whether or not your relationship has a future.

Just remember, the person HAS to be unbiased. If your mom already hates or loves your significant other, then she's probably not the right person to turn to for advice.

#3.) TAKE A TIME-OUT. In an on-again, off-again relationship, taking a break is par for the course. But resolve to make the next break different. Use the emotional distance to think clearly about what you want from a long-term relationship.

Make a list if it helps you organize your thoughts. If your partner doesn't measure up, make the temporary break-up a permanent one. And remember, missing the other person is NOT a good enough reason to get back together. (Psychology Today Magazine)