HOW TO DEAL WITH DRAMA

FOUR WAYS TO DEAL WITH THE DRAMA IN YOUR MARRIAGE:

The TV show "Jon & Kate Plus 8" was supposed to be about the unusually large family of JON and KATE GOSSELIN. But it's their marital problems have made them household names.

Here are four things that cause massive amounts of stress for MOST marriages . . . along with advice on how to deal with them . . .

#1.) A GROWING FAMILY. Bringing home a new baby requires A LOT of adjustment. New parents are usually short on time, sleep-deprived, and undersexed . . . all of which can trigger depression and anxiety, which is why couples need to work together.

-Adjust your sleep schedules so one person sleeps while the other stays up with the baby, and ask your family and friends for as much help as they're willing to give.

-Also, make sure that exercising and socializing remain a part of your life. Couples who neglect their PRE-BABY existence tend to have a harder time adjusting to their POST-BABY lifestyle.

#2.) INTRUSIVE IN-LAWS. Most couples don't have extended family announcing their disapproval on national television, like on "Jon & Kate Plus 8". But nosy in-laws are common for almost every married couple.

-But just because family members always have their OWN ideas about how to run your life . . . it doesn't mean they GET TO. Listen to their advice, but in the end, decide what's in your best interest as a family. And you might need to present a united front to your family to let them know that you and your spouse stand together.

#3.) CRITICIZING EACH OTHER. Kate has famously criticized Jon for BREATHING TOO LOUDLY, and he always seems irritated by her compulsive neatness. When couples start arguing over small things, it usually means they haven't resolved a more important problem.

Sometimes, the person being overly critical doesn't even KNOW they're doing it. So, it's a good idea to sit your spouse down and talk it out. It might take some time to figure out the root of the problem, but in the end, it can prevent unnecessary and unproductive fights.

#4.) INFIDELITY. Both Jon and Kate deny rumors that they've been cheating, but it raises a common question for many couples . . . what constitutes an inappropriate relationship?

-The best thing to do is avoid putting yourself in ANY situation that you wouldn't be comfortable telling your spouse about . . . even if it doesn't TECHNICALLY involve cheating. But every couple has to develop its own definition of what IS appropriate and what's NOT.

Maybe you're comfortable with your partner going out for lunch with someone of the opposite sex . . . just not for happy hour. Whatever your views on infidelity are, it's important to sit down and talk about them.

-If someone DOES cheat, you need to decide together whether your marriage is worth saving. If you both think you can work things out, seeing a marriage counselor can be a MAJOR help.

And unlike Jon and Kate, if you decide to go your separate ways, at least America won't be watching as your marriage disintegrates on national television. (Health.com)