November 18, 2009

SIX REASONS YOU'RE CHRONICALLY LATE TO WORK:

Are you running late to work today? Are you ALWAYS late to work? If you are, I don't mean to stress you out even more right now, but . . . being chronically late can make you look unprofessional, and it can even get you fired. Luckily, I've got six reasons why you're not getting to work on time, and what you can do about it . . .

#1.) YOU SLEEP IN. If you're so exhausted every morning that you sleep in until the last possible minute, obviously it's time to start going to bed earlier. When you're sleep-deprived your brain works slower, and it can even make you die younger. --If you're getting at least seven hours of sleep a night and you STILL feel exhausted, see your doctor. It could be a thyroid issue. It could also be stress, or your nightly routine before bed. It could be a lot of things. But there's usually something you can do about it.

#2.) YOU TRY TO GET ONE LAST THING DONE. People do this all the time. They try to send one last email, or put a load of laundry in, or finish watching a show. And they end up being five minutes late. --But it's almost always stuff they could do later. So prioritize. Getting to work on time should be at the top of your list. If the one last thing you're trying to accomplish could be done at work, then do it there. Or just wait until you get home.

#3.) YOU UNDERESTIMATE YOUR COMMUTE TIME. People who are chronically late tend to be VERY optimistic about their commute. Sure, if there's no traffic, you can get there in 20 minutes. But there's ALWAYS traffic. --So be realistic. If your commute usually takes a half hour, give yourself 40 minutes. Getting to work a few minutes early won't kill you.

#4.) YOU CAN'T FIND YOUR KEYS. Or your wallet, or your sunglasses. Whatever it is, get organized. There are some things that you always need before you walk out the door. So put them in the same spot every time you get home.

#5.) YOUR KIDS ARE DISORGANIZED. That almost goes without saying. But kids don't HAVE to be scatterbrained. Once you figure out where to keep YOUR stuff, teach them to do the same thing.

#6.) YOU HATE WORK SO MUCH, YOU POSTPONE SHOWING UP. If you hate your job so much that you can't stand being there an extra five or ten minutes a day, you should probably start looking for a new job. --Or figure out some way to make it more enjoyable. There's really no other solution. (Yahoo.com)

NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) During a routine traffic stop in Texas, a kitten wandered over and started climbing up the cop's leg. He tried pushing the kitten away with his foot, but it kept coming back and eventually climbed on top of his head. (--The cat starts climbing at :16 and climbs onto his head at 1:23.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_zRPWyATZw

(Search Terms: kitten climbs cop during traffic stop video)

#2.) This guy allegedly entered a beard competition and styled his beard into a bird cage that fits around his head . . . and it even has a working door. (--He walks out at :20.) http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1924916

(Search Terms: beard cage with working beard door)

#3.) A new dominoes record was set in Holland last weekend. 4,491,863 dominoes were toppled . . . and it took an hour and a half! Here are some of the highlights. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul_FJl70s7Q

(Search Terms: domino world record 2009 video)

A COP IN ARKANSAS TASERED A 10-YEAR-OLD GIRL AFTER SHE KICKED HIM IN THE JUNK:

I think we can all agree that if you kick a cop in the GONADS, you're in store for a serious beat down. And you've earned it. But are there any exceptions?

For example, Dustin Bradshaw is a police officer in Ozark, Arkansas. Recently, he responded to a call from a woman named Kelly Hamlert who said her daughter, 10-year-old Kiara, was out of control. And when he showed up, Kiara was screaming and throwing a tantrum. --Dustin tried to calm Kiara down. At which point, she responded by kicking him in the JUNK. --So, as a last resort, Dustin pulled out his Taser and shocked Kiara.

It sounds bad, I know. But, for what it's worth, Dustin says he was all out of options . . . and it was actually Kelly who gave him the go-ahead to use the Taser on Kiara. --Either way, Kiara's father, a guy named Anthony Medlock, is NOT happy about what happened. He says, quote, "Ten years old and [they] shot electricity through her body, and I want to know how the heck in God's green earth can they get away with this . . .

"If you can't pick the kid up and take her to your car, [and] handcuff her, then I don't think you need to be an officer . . . I don't know what kind of policy it is. I don't think it's right." --Dustin's superiors say he won't be punished for Tasing Kiara. (KHBS News 40 - Fort Smith)

MORE THAN ONE IN FOUR AMERICANS SAY THEY'VE WORKED WITH SOMEONE WHO'S CAPABLE OF "MASS VIOLENCE":

According to a new Rasmussen poll, 26% of Americans say they've worked with someone they thought was capable of "mass violence."

And if you just count government employees, that figure skyrockets to 43%. (!!!) (Rasmussen Reports)

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

RYAN SEACREST interviewed ROBERT PATTINSON at the "New Moon" premiere Monday night. But when he tried to ask a question about KRISTEN STEWART, one of Rob's handlers yanked him away.

Rob tried to be cool about it . . . but he still let himself be led away. (--Check out the video here . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mEXMtBgI_U8

(--Speaking of Ryan . . . he was granted a permanent restraining order yesterday against Chidi Uzomah . . . the large, knife-wielding Army reservist who's been rather forcefully trying to meet him.)

"GQ" MAN OF THE YEAR CLINT EASTWOOD SAYS AMERICA IS BECOMING MORE JUVENILE:

CLINT EASTWOOD has been named one of "GQ" magazine's Men of the Year. Technically, he's their "Badass of the Year". And he's using the honor to complain about how all the young whippersnappers are ruining America. --He says, quote, "Everybody's so screwed up. It seems like our country's in kind of a morbid mood, because of the recession or whatever.

"We're becoming more juvenile as a nation. The guys who won World War 2 and that whole generation have disappeared, and now we have a bunch of teenage twits." (--Just so you know, you can't question this and you can't argue with it, because Clint Eastwood said it. That's a law. It might even be in the Constitution.)

--The other Men of the Year of 2009 are:

--Barack Obama: Leader of the Year

--Chris Pine: Breakout of the Year

--Tom Brady: Comeback of the Year

--The stars of "The Hangover": Funny Men of the Year

DR. CONRAD MURRAY WANTS TO BE PAID BY AEG . . . FOR MEDICAL SERVICES RENDERED TO MICHAEL JACKSON . . . ???

If there's a Nobel Prize for GIANT GONADZ. . . then I nominate DR. CONRAD MURRAY for the honor. Check this out . . . --Murray is planning to sue AEG . . . the company that was producing MICHAEL JACKSON'S "This Is It" concerts.

He claims they still owe him $300,000. What for, you ask??? For the medical services he provided to Michael. (!!!!!!!!!!) --A publicist for Murray's attorney . . . (--That still cracks me up: The lawyer has a publicist. I'm surprised the publicist doesn't have a spokesman.) . . . says AEG hasn't paid Murray a dime yet.

RACHELLE LEFEVRE SKIPPED THE "NEW MOON" PREMIERE:

The Los Angeles premiere of "New Moon" went down Monday night, and all the stars were there. Except one of them. --RACHELLE LEFEVRE skipped the party . . . and with good reason.

Rachelle plays the vampire Victoria in "Twilight" and "New Moon". But back in July, she found out she was being REPLACED in the third flick, "Eclipse", by BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD. --It supposedly came down to a scheduling conflict . . . but Rachelle and the producers are each blaming each other for it.

Rachelle explained her absence on Twitter . . . blaming both the controversy and a SICK DOG. --She said, quote, "2 fans at the premiere: w/ Honey in hospital & being fired from 'Eclipse' tonight was just 2 emotional 4 me & I couldn't manage it. So sorry."

LADY GAGA'S NEW ALBUM IS STREAMING ONLINE:

LADY GAGA'S new disc, "The Fame Monster", doesn't come out until this coming MONDAY . . . but MTV is streaming it one week early. (--Here's the link . . .) http://www.mtv.com/music/the_leak/lady_gaga/the_fame_monster/


The Fame Monster" is a re-release of Gaga's debut album, "The Fame", with eight new songs. The new stuff will also be available on its own, as a separate EP.

--Also, the video for BEYONCÉ'S remixed version of "Video Phone" . . . which features Lady Gaga . . . has been released. (--You can check it out, here . . .) http://www.mtv.com/videos/beyonce/455581/video-phone-extended-remix.jhtml#id=1518071

IT'S ON!!! BETWEEN U2 AND IRELAND: (???)

For decades now, it has been common knowledge that Ireland loves U2 . . . and U2 loves Ireland. But it's been 30 years now, and BONO may be on Ireland's last nerve. --The Dublin City Council has fined the band and their concert promoter more than $55,000 . . . for exceeding the noise limit during three shows at an Irish park this year. --Supposedly, the fine was levied after local residents . . . other IRISH people . . . "complained" about the noise.

NOW YOU CAN BUY PERFUME THAT'S MADE FROM THE DNA OF DEAD CELEBRITIES:

Celebrity-branded fragrances are nothing new. BRITNEY SPEARS has her own perfume. So do LIZ TAYLOR and SARAH JESSICA PARKER, just to name a few.

But now, a company called Antiquity has taken celebrity-branded fragrances to a whole new level by releasing a line of colognes and perfumes that are made from DNA collected from the hair clippings of dead celebrities. (???)

--There's "Marilyn" created from the DNA of MARILYN MONROE.

--"Monarch" created from the DNA of KATHARINE HEPBURN.

--"Entrance" created from the DNA of JOAN CRAWFORD.

--"Blue Suede" created from the DNA of ELVIS PRESLEY.

--"IQ" created from the DNA of ALBERT EINSTEIN and . . .

--"M" created from the DNA of MICHAEL JACKSON.

(--You can buy this nonsense for $60 a bottle here . . .)

http://mydnafragrance.com/perfume/antiquity-by-my-dna-fragrance/

(Jezebel)