NOVEMBER 10, 2009

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW

ELLEN DEGENERES SAYS SHE AND PORTIA DE ROSSI ARE PARTNERS FOR LIFE:

In the December issue of "O" magazine, ELLEN DEGENERES predicts that she and PORTIA DE ROSSI will be scissoring all the way to the grave. She says, quote, "She is so beautiful and so smart and so funny. I have that sense of 'I'm done now. I'm settled.' I know that part of my life is taken care of. I've got love. I've got someone who will be with me till the day I die."

Ellen and Portia got married in August of 2008, during that brief window in which gay marriage was legal in California. It was banned again the following November with the passage of Proposition 8 . . . but since Ellen and Portia had been legally married before then, their union remains valid.

Meanwhile, Ellen and Portia were on "Oprah" yesterday . . . and Portia revealed how she found it impossible to resist Ellen's STONE-COLD HOTNESS. --She first fell for Ellen when she was on the show "Ally McBeal". But she couldn't do anything about it for another THREE YEARS, because she was still in the closet.

She said, quote, "Over those three years, we saw each other at parties or various things, but the one time that was the most significant was at a photo shoot. --"I just walked over to say hello to her and I couldn't believe it, but she turned around and it was like an arrow was shot through my heart. I was weak at the knees and I was overwhelmed with how I felt. But then it took me about 10 months to get the courage up to do something about it."

THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS HAVE RELEASED LARRY JOHNSON:

The Kansas City Chiefs released running back LARRY JOHNSON yesterday . . . the day he was due back from his SECOND suspension in the past two years. --Johnson was suspended for two weeks after he used the GAY SLUR and took shots at head coach TODD HALEY on Twitter.

The decision to let him go was made early yesterday. Haley said, quote, "We decided that it was in the best interests of the Kansas City Chiefs organization to move forward at this time." --In 2008, Johnson was benched . . . then suspended by the league . . . over two incidents at a Kansas City club. One woman accused him of throwing a drink on her, and another said he pushed her head.

He ended up pleading guilty to two counts of disturbing the peace . . . and was sentenced to two years' probation. (--Johnson rushed for over 1,700 yards in both 2005 and '06 . . . but hasn't put up numbers like that since.)

MARTIN LAWRENCE AND JAMIE FOXX WILL BRING "SHENENEH AND WANDA" TO THE BIG SCREEN:

MARTIN LAWRENCE and JAMIE FOXX will resurrect their famous female characters in "Sheneneh and Wanda". Jamie is writing the script. --The idea started as a fake movie trailer called "Skank Robbers" . . . which Martin and Jamie threw together for the "BET Awards" earlier this year. But the response to it was so strong they decided to run with it.

The plot features Sheneneh and Wanda as, quote, "modern-day independent women trying to make it on their own, one bank robbery at a time."

(--Jamie made Wanda famous on "In Living Color". Here's one of those classic skits . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZR3EdLggUI

(--Here's some Sheneneh, from the old "Martin" TV show . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0uFcf7Cft4

(--And here's the "Skank Robbers" trailer that started it all . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NVuTWlqA2Y

JOE PERRY SAYS AEROSMITH *IS* LOOKING FOR A NEW SINGER . . . AND SAYS THE BAND IS "NOT SPLITTING UP":

STEVEN TYLER still has yet to address the talk that he has quit AEROSMITH . . . either publicly, or privately with the band . . . but pretty soon he might be forced to, because guitarist JOE PERRY won't stop talking about it. --Yesterday, Joe posted a message on Twitter saying that the band is NOT over . . . but they're looking for a NEW SINGER. --In three Tweets, he said, quote, "Aerosmith is definitely NOT breaking up. One of the members is doing his own thing and said so in the press. That's all I know.

"In the meantime, Aerosmith is positively looking for a new singer to work with. You just can't take 40 years of experience and throw it in the bin! --"Aerosmith not splitting up. Promise that's the last you'll hear from me on the subject till we gear up again."

As for one of the members "doing his own thing," Joe is referring to some quotes Steven made to "Classic Rock" magazine . . . where he said, "I don't know what I'm doing [next] yet. But it's definitely going to be something Steven Tyler." --"[I'm] working on the brand of myself . . . Brand Tyler."

Joe saw that quote online . . . and since Steven has apparently been avoiding Joe's efforts to get in touch with him, the band is assuming this means he's leaving the band to do something on his own.

For what it's worth, Steven's daughter, Mia Tyler, has been hounded with questions about Aerosmith on her Twitter account. --Here's what she had to say about it . . . quote, "Yes, they are replacing him with Big Bird! STOP ASKING ME!!!! --"They are in their 60s now. Let them do what they wanna do! [And] can someone please tell JP that gossiping on Twitter is uncalled [for]! Amirite?"

(--JP is Joe Perry, of course . . . in case you're not up with all this hip, Twitter lingo.) (--So is this new singer Joe Perry is looking for a PERMANENT replacement for Steven . . . or just a fill-in until Steven gets back with the program???)

NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

A MILLION BABY STROLLERS WERE RECALLED AFTER 12 KIDS HAD THEIR FINGERTIPS CUT OFF BY DEFECTIVE HINGES:

Yesterday, the Consumer Product Safety Commission announced they're recalling more than ONE MILLION baby strollers sold since 1999 by a company called Maclaren USA. --Apparently, the Maclaren strollers have a hinge defect that's injured 15 kids, and 12 of them had to have their fingertips AMPUTATED. The stroller models that have been recalled are the:

--Volo

--Triumph

--Quest Sport

--Quest Mod

--Techno XT

--Techno XLR

--Twin Triumph

--Twin Techno and the . . .

--Easy Traveler (ABC News)

--If you own one of the models that's been recalled, you can order a free repair kit with specially-designed hinge covers by calling 877-688-2326, or online, here . . . (--Please note that as of late last night, the entire maclarenbaby.com site was down for "maintenance".)

http://www.maclarenbaby.com/us/content/view/88573/98889729/lang,en/

MORE THAN ONE IN THREE AMERICANS SAYS THEY'LL RE-GIFT THIS HOLIDAY SEASON:

You know what it means to "re-gift" something, don't you? That's what it's called when you take a gift you received from someone, and give it to someone else. --Anyway, a new survey has found that more than ONE in THREE Americans . . . or 36% overall . . . plan on re-gifting this holiday season. That's up from 31% last year, and 24% in 2007.

Meanwhile, 6% of Americans still haven't paid off all their debt from LAST holiday season. (--Is there an official policy on re-gifting? Everybody seems to look down on it. Or maybe the unofficial policy on re-gifting is that it's okay . . . as long as you don't get caught? Thoughts?) (Chicago Tribune)

HERE ARE SIX TYPES OF ANNOYING CO-WORKERS:

Admit it . . . you have a few co-workers that you just CAN'T STAND. It's okay, there are probably a few people in your office who don't like you either. --With that in mind, here are six types of annoying co-workers that everyone hates:

#1.) The Gossip: Whether we admit it or not, everyone loves a little gossip. But it undermines the spirit of the workplace, and creates an atmosphere of paranoia.

#2.) The Broken Clock: This person's always late to meetings, and shows up late for work. And when they do finally show up, they spend the entire day instant messaging and checking Facebook.

#3.) The Mold Guy: Every office refrigerator is stocked with moldy, month-old sandwiches and rotting fruit. And that's because every office has a Mold Guy who leaves their leftovers in the office fridge.

#4.) The Stinker: This is the person who wears way too much cologne or perfume. Or, they have wicked B.O., in which case they don't wear enough.

#5.) The Cracker: This is the guy who's always cracking jokes, cracking his knuckles, popping his chewing gum, or clanking spoons in his coffee cup.

#6.) The Tapper: This is the guy who spends every meeting tapping away at his smart phone. (Yahoo Hot Jobs)

HERE ARE SEVEN FACEBOOK PHOTOS THAT CAN GET YOU DE-FRIENDED:

Face it. Only a few of your Facebook friends are REALLY your friends. The rest you know mainly through their profile. Which is why it's annoying when people pick absurd profile photos. With that in mind, here are seven Facebook profile photos that could get you "de-friended."

#1.) Emo: As in those "emo" rock bands who always whine about being tormented and in love. The emo photo is usually black and white, you're acting all pissed-off, and you probably took it yourself, either in the mirror or by holding the camera out with your arm.

#2.) Headshot: If you're a professional model or actor, you have a headshot. That's fine. But you shouldn't be using it as your profile photo, because that's just annoying. And if you ARE, then you're probably just an ASPIRING model or actor.

#3.) Childhood: People want to see what you look like now. If you post a picture of yourself as a kid, it's like you're trying to be "cute." And people will just wonder what you're trying to hide.

#4.) Your baby: It's okay to have your baby in your profile photo, but YOU have to be in it too. Why? Because it's weird to see that "your baby" tagged me in a photo or wrote on my wall.

#5.) With a celebrity: This is the Facebook equivalent of name-dropping. And that's lame.

#6.) Couple kissing shot: You're happy and in love. Good for you. But the rest of us are miserable, and we don't need you rubbing your happiness in our faces.

#7.) Company logo: There are only two reasons to use a logo as your profile picture. The first is that you're trying to promote your business. The second is that you're unattractive and hiding behind the logo. Either way, they're both unacceptable. (Guyism)