Friday, March 12, 2010

March 12, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW
SHEEN-ANIGANS

CHARLIE SHEEN NEVER SHOT KELLY PRESTON IN THE ARM . . . ACCORDING TO HIS REP, ANYWAY:

One of the pillars of the CHARLIE SHEEN mythology is that in 1990, he accidentally shot his then-girlfriend, KELLY PRESTON, in the arm. (--Kelly is now married to JOHN TRAVOLTA.) --Well, Charlie's rep has finally come out to set that story straight. --He says, quote, "Charlie did not shoot Kelly Preston in the arm. In fact, he was not even in the room with her when his gun accidentally went off, hit a porcelain toilet and the piece of porcelain hit her arm." --Authorities in Aspen, Colorado are reportedly trying to interview Charlie's exes, including Kelly and DENISE RICHARDS . . . in an effort to shore up their case against him over his alleged Christmas Day assault of his current wife, BROOKE MUELLER.


IS CHARLIE SHEEN GOING TO TELL THE COURT HIS WIFE WAS TOO WASTED TO KNOW WHAT REALLY HAPPENED???

CHARLIE SHEEN'S legal team is reportedly working on a new strategy to combat domestic violence charges: His wife was WASTED OUT OF HER MIND. --BROOKE MUELLER told Aspen police on Christmas Day that Charlie held a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. Since then, however, she has decided she does NOT want Charlie prosecuted. --And the fact that she subsequently checked into rehab helps Charlie out even more. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "Charlie is going to contend that everything Brooke told police isn't true . . . that she was out of her head, that she was so messed up she didn't know what was going on. --"She partied hard before the incident. She drank heavily and she smoked crack. And Charlie is fully prepared to use that as part of his defense. --"Considering the fact that she went into rehab after the incident, Charlie's argument is going to have a lot of weight." (--This strategy could work for both Charlie AND Brooke. Because Brooke can't really change her story . . . or she risks being charged with filing a false police report.)


JESSICA BIEL ISN'T JEALOUS THAT JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE IS DOING A MOVIE WITH CAMERON DIAZ:

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE is doing a comedy called "Bad Teacher" . . . which stars his ex-girlfriend, CAMERON DIAZ. --And according to "People" magazine, the script calls for Justin and Cameron to have a, quote, "hot romp in a hotel room." --But Justin's CURRENT girlfriend, JESSICA BIEL, has NO PROBLEM with that. She says, quote, "I haven't read the script, but I think it sounds fantastic. It sounds like it will be so funny. Obviously, I'm superexcited for him."


DID RICHARD BELZER ATTACK A WOMAN AT AN APPLE STORE???

RICHARD BELZER the skinny, weird-looking guy who plays Detective John Munch on "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" . . . was accused Wednesday of attacking a female employee at an Apple store in Manhattan. --Milan Agnew . . . a 21-year-old aspiring dancer . . . says that Belzer entered the store, grabbed her by the shoulders, shook her, choked her and yelled, quote, "I need help!" --Agnew called 911. The cops showed up and spoke to Belzer, who said he was, quote, "just joking". --Agnew filed a harassment complaint, but Belzer wasn't charged with anything. --Belzer tells a different story, of course. He says that while he was waiting in line at the Apple store, Agnew approached and asked him if he needed help. He says he placed his hands on her shoulders and told her he would love some help. --That's when she freaked out and called the cops. --Belzer doesn't expect to get in any trouble. He says the cops looked at footage from the store's surveillance camera and decided that no crime had been committed. --He adds, quote, "Perhaps I shouldn't have invaded her space, but it was clearly non-threatening."


A MAN WAS ARRESTED FOR POSTING A YOUTUBE VIDEO IN WHICH HE APPEARS TO BE CALLING FOR THE DEATH OF ELTON JOHN:

A Georgia man was arrested Wednesday for posting a YouTube video in which he appears to be calling for the death of ELTON JOHN. --The video features Neal Horsley protesting in front of Elton's Atlanta apartment complex, holding a sign saying "Elton John Must DIE". The reason for his anger is that recent statement Elton made about Jesus being gay. --Neal is a prominent . . . and ABSOLUTELY INSANE . . . anti-abortion activist in the Atlanta area, who's been planning to run for governor. (--You can see the video at the following link . . .) (--WARNING!!! There is FCC-questionable language in this clip. . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfROkZ9JDaw


E-TRADE SAYS LINDSAY LOHAN'S $100 MILLION LAWSUIT IS "WITHOUT MERIT":
E-Trade has issued a statement regarding LINDSAY LOHAN'S $100 million lawsuit against them for allegedly basing a talking baby in one of their TV commercials on her. --Not surprisingly, they're not sweating Lindsay. --They said, quote, "We believe the claims are without merit and we intend to defend ourselves vigorously in this case." --They added that the commercial was meant to be, quote, "witty and memorable."


"LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE" SUPERSTAR MERLIN OLSEN HAS DIED:

MERLIN OLSEN . . . a former NFL star who went on to play Mr. Garvey on "Little House in the Prairie" . . . died yesterday at his Utah home following a brief battle with cancer. He was 69. --Olsen played for the St. Louis Rams in the 1960s, back when they were still the Los Angeles Rams . . . where he became a member of the FEARSOME FOURSOME . . . one of the most dominant offensive lines in NFL history. (--The other members were Deacon Jones, Rosey Grier, and Lamar Lundy.) --After his retirement in 1976, he joined NBC as a color commentator for college and pro games. --He did "Little House" from 1977 to 1981. Then he had his own series, "Father Murphy", from '81 to '83. --Olsen died of mesothelioma . . . a form of cancer usually associated with asbestos. After his diagnosis, he actually sued NBC and 20th Century Fox for exposing him to asbestos. That lawsuit is still pending. --"Little House" star MELISSA GILBERT released the following statement . . . quote, "Just heard about the passing of Merlin Olsen. I am so sad. --"My heart [goes] out to his dear family. He was one of the sweetest, kindest, men I have ever known. The personification of the Gentle Giant. Forever now, a guardian angel."


COREY HAIM HAD A HEART PROBLEM . . . BUT THAT'S NOT NECESSARILY WHAT KILLED HIM:

The L.A. County Coroner's office said yesterday that COREY HAIM had some issues with his heart. But they're not saying that's what killed him. --Corey had an enlarged heart and pulmonary congestion . . . which is a fancy term for fluid in the lungs. --But authorities won't reveal the cause of death until the results of toxicology tests come back. And that won't be for several more weeks. --Police have said, however, that they suspect an accidental overdose. --Meanwhile, TMZ claims to have found out what was in the four prescription drug bottles that were found in Corey's apartment. --According to so-called "law enforcement sources", they were: Vicodin, Valium, a muscle relaxer called Soma and an antipsychotic medication called haloperidol. --There's no word if any of these . . . or any other drugs . . . were found in Corey's system. Again, we'll have to wait for the toxicology test results to find that out. (--Here's a clip from "The Two Coreys" . . . featuring Corey talking about his past drug intake . . .)http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=240a1898-ae4d-49f2-bb8b-510ddcd49bbb


WILL TIGER WOODS MAKE HIS GOLFING RETURN AT THE MASTERS . . . OR SOONER???

There's word going around that TIGER WOODS will make his big return to golf at the Masters in Augusta, Georgia. That tournament takes place April 5th through the 11th. --But other sources say he'll enter the Arnold Palmer Invitational in Orlando. That one kicks off on March 25th, and Tiger is the defending champ. --But his agent, Mark Steinberg, says none of the rumors are true. He told CNN, quote, "No decisions have been made yet." --The other big Tiger news today is that he has reportedly hired ARI FLEISCHER . . . who was the press secretary for PRESIDENT BUSH from 2001 to 2003 . . . to do some image repair for him. --Fleischer now runs a company called Ari Fleischer Sports Communications . . . which specializes in CRISIS RESPONSE AND CONTROL. --Here's some of the work Ari has done in recent years . . . --He was a consultant for MARK MCGWIRE after Mark refused to answer questions about steroid use in front of a congressional committee back in 2005. --He advised the Green Bay Packers how to handle the fallout from the BRETT FAVRE breakup. --And he has worked on trying to improve the image of college football's Bowl Championship Series. (--Which I'd have to say he failed at. Last I checked, everybody still HATED The BCS.)


"FORBES'" LIST OF BILLIONAIRES

BILL GATES IS NO LONGER THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD:

Earlier this week, "Forbes" released its annual list of the World's Billionaires. Here's a look at the ten richest people in the world . . . along with their net worth.
#1.) Carlos Slim Helu and family . . . of Mexico . . . $53.5 billion#2.) Bill Gates . . . of the U.S. . . . $53 billion (--He was #1 last year, when he had $40 billion to his name. So he MADE $13 billion and still lost ground. That sucks.)#3.) Warren Buffett . . . of the U.S. . . . $47 billion#4.) Mukesh Ambani . . . of India . . . $29 billion#5.) Lakshmi Mittal . . . of India . . . $28.7 billion#6.) Lawrence Ellison . . . of the U.S. . . . $28 billion#7.) Bernard Arnault . . . of France . . . $27.5 billion#8.) Eike Batista . . . of Brazil . . . $27 billion#9.) Amancio Ortega . . . of Spain . . . $25 billion#10.) Karl Albrecht . . . of Germany . . . $23.5 billion
--Here are a few other, more recognizable names, along with their net worth.--New York City mayor MICHAEL BLOOMBERG . . . $18 billion--Apple boss STEVE JOBS . . . $5.5 billion--GIORGIO ARMANI . . . $5.3 billion--RALPH LAUREN . . . $4.6 billion--Facebook founder, 25-year-old MARK ZUCKERBERG . . . $4 billion--STEVEN SPIELBERG . . . $3 billion--OPRAH WINFREY . . . $2.4 billion--DONALD TRUMP . . . $2 billion--"Harry Potter" writer J.K. ROWLING . . . $1 billion(--If you hit up the link below, you can see the full breakdown. You can browse the complete list of the world's 1,011 billionaires . . . or you can just look at the American ones . . . or just the ELIGIBLE ones.)http://www.forbes.com/2010/03/10/worlds-richest-people-slim-gates-buffett-billionaires-2010_land.html


KRISTEN STEWART "WASN'T ALLOWED" TO GROPE DAKOTA FANNING WHEN SHE KISSED HER IN "THE RUNAWAYS":

We heard a while back that KRISTEN STEWART and DAKOTA FANNING share a girl-girl kiss in their upcoming movie, "The Runaways". --But Kristen had to be very careful with her hands during the filming of that scene . . . because Dakota was only 15 when they shot it. --Kristen . . . who's 19 . . . says, quote, "I wasn't allowed to grope her. I'm actually not kidding, there are major restrictions that I don't remember [from] when I was younger." (--When Dakota Fanning was 12, she caused all manner of controversy by filming a rape scene for a 2007 movie called "Hounddog".) (--But the movie was a critical and commercial flop, and the scene wasn't graphic at all . . . so the hysteria faded and the whole thing just became kind of a big whatever.)


CHECK OUT THE TRAILER FOR "ECLIPSE":

Okay "Twilight" freaks . . . the trailer for the third flick, "Eclipse", is online. 90% of you have probably already seen it. But we have the link for the other 10% who haven't. (--The movie hits theaters June 30th. Here's the clip . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2HIda5wSVU


CHECK OUT THE TRAILER FOR "SUCK"!!!

The trailer for "Suck" has hit the Web. It's about a struggling rock band that rockets to success once all the members become VAMPIRES. --It's got a pretty sweet supporting cast that includes ALICE COOPER, Iggy Pop, Rush guitarist Alex Lifeson, Henry Rollins and Moby. There's no word yet on a release date . . . but it's been playing various festivals since last year. (--Here's the trailer . . .)http://moviesblog.mtv.com/2010/03/11/suck-trailer-mashes-up-vampires-with-rock-roll/


THE CONAN O'BRIEN TOUR IS ON!!!

Over the next year or so, we're going to find out just how REAL this whole "Team Conan" phenomenon is. First up: The CONAN O'BRIEN live tour, which was just confirmed yesterday. Here are the details: --It'll be called the Legally Prohibited From Being Funny on Television Tour . . . and it'll include 36 shows . . . running from April 12th in Eugene, Oregon, through June 14th . . . which is Flag Day, incidentally . . . in Atlanta. --The tour includes a gig at the Bonnaroo Music Festival in Tennessee on June 12th. --Conan made the announcement on Twitter . . . saying, quote, "Hey Internet: I'm headed to your town on a half-assed comedy & music tour. Go to TeamCoco.com for tix. I repeat: It's half-assed." --As for content, Conan promises, quote, "a night of music, comedy, hugging, and the occasional awkward silence."(--To see all the dates, and to purchase tickets, hit up this link . . .)http://teamcoco.com/(--And here's Conan's Twitter feed, for updates and random hilarity . . .)http://twitter.com/conanobrien


"AMERICAN IDOL" IS DOING A ROLLING STONES WEEK THIS SEASON:

Next week will be ROLLING STONES week on "American Idol". --Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like there will be any "mentoring" going on . . . as entertaining as that would be. There's also no indication that anyone from the band will be in attendance, or participate in the show in any way. --Obviously, we won't know until next week which classics each contestant will be butchering.
CHAD OCHOCINCO HAS LANDED HIS OWN REALITY SHOW:

Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver CHAD OCHOCINCO . . . a.k.a. the NFL player formerly known as CHAD JOHNSON . . . is getting his own reality dating show. --Here's how it'll work. It's called "The Tournament", and it will apply a March Madness-type bracket to the typical dating show elimination process. --Chad will travel the country meeting potential "dates" . . . then he'll narrow the ladies down to a Sweet Sixteen, who will be placed into four brackets and compete until only one lucky skank remains. --The show is being developed by VH1 . . . naturally . . . but there's no airdate yet. (--Chad is also competing on the upcoming season of "Dancing with the Stars".)


IS KATHERINE HEIGL LEAVING "GREY'S ANATOMY"???

"Entertainment Weekly" is reporting that KATHERINE HEIGL may be done with "Grey's Anatomy" . . . for good. --They say she was supposed to return to the set on March 1st . . . after a pre-planned hiatus to shoot a movie . . . but she hasn't returned. --So-called "sources" tell them that Katherine has been trying to negotiate a release from her contract. Word has it that series creator SHONDA RHIMES has signed off on Katherine's exit, but Katherine's reps are still in discussions with ABC Studios. (--Obviously, we'll let you know if anything comes of this. On one hand, we've been hearing about Katherine leaving "Grey's" for years now . . . but that being said, would anyone be surprised if they actually did part ways at this point?)


DID MTV BAN THE CAST OF "JERSEY SHORE" FROM DRINKING???

Fox News reports that "Jersey Shore" star J-WOWW has been abstaining from alcohol recently . . . and she was overheard at a dance club explaining that it's because, quote, "MTV doesn't want [the cast] to drink." --Is MTV just looking out for their crazy reality stars??? No. They just want to save the crazy for TV. They're only banning the cast from drinking until filming on the second season begins.


FRIDAY TV REMINDERS:

--"Who Do You Think You Are?" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--This week, NFL Hall of Famer Emmitt Smith explores his family lineage.)
--"Supernanny" [6th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"Numb3rs" [6th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--"Numb3rs" hasn't "officially" been cancelled yet, but stars Rob Morrow and David Krumholtz have already both been cast in other shows so this is most likely the SERIES FINALE.)

SATURDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Jude Law guest hosts and Pearl Jam is the musical guest.)

SUNDAY TV REMINDERS:
--"Minute to Win It" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 7:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Chef Guy Fieri hosts. Contestants try to win prizes by completing tasks within one-minute.)
--"Desperate Housewives" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Gaby and Angie run into Heidi Klum and Paulina Porizkova while chasing their kids down in New York.)
--"The Celebrity Apprentice" [9th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC. (--This season's celebrities are Bret Michaels, Sharon Osbourne, Darryl Strawberry, Rod Blagojevich, Holly Robinson Peete, Cyndi Lauper, model Selita Ebanks . . .)
(. . . former rassler Bill Goldberg, former WWE Diva Maria Kanellis, comedienne Carol Leifer, Sinbad, Australian chef Curtis Stone, Olympic swimmer Summer Sanders and Olympic sprinter Michael Johnson.)
--"Sons of Tucson" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Three brothers hire a slacker to pose as their father when their real dad is sent to prison.)
--"Kendra" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on E!
--"Pretty Wild" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on E! (--Three scantily-clad sisters . . . 19-year-old Tess Taylor, 18-year-old Alexis Neiers and 15-year-old Gabrielle Neiers . . . try to make it in modeling with their hot mom as their manager.)


LADY GAGA IS COMING TO "ROCK BAND" . . . ???
If you thought "Rock Band" and the other plastic guitar-playing video games couldn't be any LESS rock 'n' roll, you haven't heard this: Next week, "Rock Band" will release a four pack of songs by LADY GAGA. -The songs . . . which will be available from the Rock Band Music Store . . . will be "Bad Romance", "Just Dance", "Monster", and yes, "Poker Face". --On top of that, the "South Park" version of "Poker Face", which was performed by Cartman, will also be available. --By the way, "Rock Band 3" will arrive in stores before this Christmas. There's no set release date yet. But the next game, "Green Day: Rock Band" will be out on June 8th.


PEARL JAM HAS ANNOUNCED DATES FOR A U.S. TOUR:

If you live in the Eastern part of the country, and have always wanted to see PEARL JAM . . . but have been putting it off for the past 20 years . . . you have another chance: The band has just announced some new U.S. tour dates. --For now, there are 13 shows . . . running from May 1st at the New Orleans Jazz Festival, through May 21st in New York City. (--Check out all the dates, here . . .) http://pearljam.com/news/announcement


SLASH SAYS THE GUITAR RIFF ON MICHAEL JACKSON'S "BLACK OR WHITE" IS "GAY":

You may be familiar with a rumor that SLASH played the guitar riff on the MICHAEL JACKSON classic "Black or White". Well, he's laying that rumor to rest once and for all. --He says, quote, "I never played on ['Black or White']. If you listen to [the hook], that's gay. I'd never play that." (???) --But Slash does understand how the rumor started. He says, quote, "I played on 'Give in to Me' [also off the 'Dangerous' album] and in the 'Black or White' video, when MACAULAY CULKIN was trashing around, that's me playing." (--Here's the link to the "Black or White" video . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2AitTPI5U0

A FEW DETAILS ON THE NEXT MEATLOAF ALBUM:

MEATLOAF will release his next album, "Hang Cool Teddy Bear", on May 11th. That title is a reference to a line from "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" . . . a cult movie from 1970 that was written by ROGER EBERT. --As you might expect, it's a concept album, which was based on some short story. --Here's Meat describing the premise . . . quote, "It's the story of a soldier. He's been in battle and he's lying face down on the ground. He can't move, but he turns his head and starts to see blood run across the ground, and so he thinks he's going to die. --"They always say you see your life flash backward when you're about to die. But his life flashes forward . . . into what possibly could happen. --"He sees what his life could be: The good and the bad. The songs are the different scenarios he finds himself in. It's not always the same time or the same place, but it's always the same woman. But I don't want to give too much away. I want people to work it out for themselves." --His guests on the album will include: Guitar GODS Steve Vai and Brian May, "American Idol" judge Kara Dioguardi, actor Jack Black . . . (--who duets with Meat on a song called "Like a Rose") . . . former Darkness singer Justin Hawkins, and drummer John Micelli, who used to play for Rainbow and Blue Oyster Cult. --Oh, and "House" star HUGH LAURIE also makes a cameo . . . playing the piano on a track called "If I Can't Have You".


SNOW PATROL SINGER GARY LIGHTBODY JUST REALIZED HE DISLOCATED HIS JAW SEVEN YEARS AGO:

SNOW PATROL singer GARY LIGHTBODY has had a DISLOCATED JAW for SEVEN YEARS. So why hasn't he done anything about it? --Well . . . HE ONLY JUST NOW REALIZED IT. Here's what happened. --Last month, the band pulled out of a show in Ireland, because Gary's face was so sore he couldn't sing. He went to the doctor . . . and found out he had a dislocated jaw that occurred back in 2003, when he fell down a flight of stairs at a nightclub. --In a new blog post, he explains, quote, "I busted myself up pretty bad. My eye closed over like a beaten boxer and I lost some teeth, which I got replaced. --"Waking up in a hospital bed with only one eye and the worst hangover I ever had is something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Because of my previous night's behavior to the nursing staff, the only thing they wanted was rid of me so there were no head X-rays taken. --"A few years after that incident, my jaw started to get sore and has been a source of pain for years. I have seen all kinds of people about it. My mistrust of Western medicine meant, though, that never once did I get it X-rayed." --Apparently, the pain got so bad that Gary decided he could trust Western medicine long enough to have an X-ray. Since the problem was diagnosed, Gary has been wearing a dental appliance to correct it.


NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF

ONE IN TEN JOGGERS HAS SEX EVERY DAY:

This survey took place in the UK, and we have no reason to think the results would be any different here, but we don't really know . . . -According to a recent survey, ONE in TEN joggers say they have SEX every day. And 3% say they have sex twice a day. --That's compared to ONE in FOUR non-joggers who say they have sex just once a month, or less. --ONE in FOUR joggers admit they go running to help them flirt with members of the opposite sex. And a THIRD of those people say jogging has helped them get dates. --Overall, 10% of men and 5% of women admit they think about sex while jogging. (Daily Telegraph)


PRESIDENT OBAMA IS SPLITTING HIS $1.4 MILLION AWARD FROM THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE BETWEEN TEN CHARITIES:

Last year, PRESIDENT OBAMA was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for . . . well . . . no one's really sure what he did to deserve it. The point is, it comes with a $1.4 MILLION cash award, and Obama said he'd give it all away to charity. --Well, yesterday, the White House issued a statement announcing the ten charities Obama's chosen to split the winnings. Check it out: --$250,000 will go to Fisher House . . . a group that provides housing for the families of patients at military and VA medical centers. --$200,000 will go to the Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund . . . the group established by BILL CLINTON and GEORGE W. BUSH to help Haiti after the earthquake. --$125,000 will go to College Summit . . . a group that helps elementary, middle and high school students prepare for college. --$125,000 will go to the Posse Foundation . . . a group that provides college scholarships to students with, quote, "extraordinary academic and leadership potential who may be overlooked by traditional college selection processes." --$125,000 will go to the United Negro College Fund . . . the organization that does scholarships and internship programs to help black students go to college. --$125,000 will go to the Hispanic Scholarship Fund . . . a group that provides college scholarships and educational outreach support to the Hispanic community. --$125,000 will go to the Appalachian Leadership and Education Foundation . . . a group that provides scholarships to people from the region around the Appalachian Mountains. --$125,000 will go to the American Indian College Fund . . . a group that provides college scholarships to Native Americans. --$100,000 will go to AfriCare . . . a group that helps African communities with health care, food security and agricultural needs, and water resource development. --And $100,000 will go to the Central Asia Institute . . . a group that provides education and literacy programs, especially to girls, in remote parts of Pakistan and Afghanistan. (Washington Post)


A GUY WROTE LETTERS TO FAMOUS PEOPLE AND PRETENDED TO BE 10 YEARS OLD . . . HERE ARE THEIR RESPONSES:

About 15 years ago, a guy named Bill Geerhart was unemployed and looking for a way to entertain himself. --So he assumed the role of a smart 10-year-old kid named "Little Billy," and started writing letters to celebrities and other prominent figures asking for advice on imaginary problems. Here are some of the responses he's collected over the past 15 years:
#1.) Billy asked LARRY FLYNT if there was a version of "Hustler" magazine for kids. Flynt responded, quote, "You'll be 18 before you know it. Until then, you should read the Sears & Roebuck catalog."
#2.) Billy asked former Attorney General JANET RENO who was a better crime fighter: Batman or the Terminator. Reno responded that she read Batman comics as a kid, so, quote, "I know of his efforts to fight crime better than I know of the Terminator's work."
#3.) Billy asked SARAH PALIN if he could come to Alaska and hunt wolves from a helicopter with her. Palin's dad, Chuck Heath, responded that there was, quote, "No wolf hunting from helicopters here."
#4.) Billy asked DR. JACK KEVORKIAN, a.k.a. "Doctor Death," if he should become a convenience store clerk when he grows up so he could play video games on the job. Kevorkian responded, quote, "Sometimes I wish I was a 7-Eleven clerk!"
#5.) Billy asked uber-feminist GLORIA STEINEM if it would be wrong for the Six Million Dollar Man to hit the Bionic Woman in a fight. An aide responded, quote, "As Gloria explained to me, it would only be fair if it was done in self-defense."
#6.) Billy wrote to a bunch of serial killers and asked them if he should drop out of school. DAVID BERKOWITZ, a.k.a. the "Son of Sam" killer, told him, quote, "Don't do self-destructive things."
--TED KACZYNSKI, a.k.a. the "Unabomber," wished him luck. And CHARLES MANSON just ranted about how he wasn't getting the "Los Angeles Times" in prison.
#7.) Billy asked Supreme Court Justice CLARENCE THOMAS what he liked most on the McDonald's menu. Thomas responded, quote, "I like almost everything there." (--Especially the soda fountain Coke, am I right?) (???)
#8.) And when Billy asked officials with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints if he should become a Mormon because, quote, "you get to wear cool underwear and have extra wives," a group of missionaries actually showed up at his door. (Yahoo News / Google News)(--Bill turned all the letters into a book called "Little Billy's Letters". It just came out this week. You can buy it for $13.49 here . . .)http://www.amazon.com/Little-Billys-Letters-Incorrigible-Correspondence/dp/0061807281


THE VATICAN IS UPSET THAT A HIGH SCHOOL IN ROME IS INSTALLING CONDOM VENDING MACHINES:

According to the Catholic Church, sex only has one purpose: For married people to make babies. Which is why the church is so dead-set against the use of birth control. That's just a little background information to help you understand this . . . --Yesterday, officials in Rome, Italy, announced that Keplero High School be the first school in the city . . . and one of the first in the entire country . . . to install CONDOM VENDING MACHINES for students. --School officials say the goal is to reduce teen pregnancy rates and the spread of STDs. According to a spokesman, quote, "This is not about stimulating the use of condoms or intercourse. On the contrary, it's about prevention and education." --But according to officials in the Vatican, the move trivializes sex and, quote, "cannot be approved by Rome's ecclesiastical community, or by Christian families who are seriously concerned with the education of their children." --So you know, in most of Europe . . . including Britain, Germany, the Netherlands and Belgium . . . it's common for high schools to have condom machines. --And in France, where everyone's doing the nasty 24/7, 96% of all high schools already have condom vending machines. (Google News)


THE BUSINESS THAT GPS USERS SEARCH FOR THE MOST OFTEN IS WAL-MART:

Last December, a communications company called TeleNav conducted a study to find out what business GPS users search for most often when they're on the road.
--Here's a look at the ten most-commonly searched for businesses:
#1.) Wal-Mart#2.) Starbucks#3.) Target#4.) Best Buy#5.) Bank of America#6.) Walgreen's#7.) Pizza Hut#8.) Home Depot#9.) McDonald's#10.) Chase Bank (Connected Planet Online / AOL Autos)


THERE'S A NEW DELIVERY SERVICE THAT WILL DROP OFF CLEAN SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR AT YOUR HOUSE EVERY THREE MONTHS:

Every now and then, an idea comes along that's just so good, it's hard to believe no one's thought of it before. THIS is one of them . . . --Introducing ManPacks . . . a new delivery service that provides men with clean SOCKS and UNDERWEAR every few months. --The idea is that even though most guys are constantly running out of clean stuff to wear, they'll never make a special trip to the store to pick up extra pairs. This way, they don't have to. --For example, if you get the "MachoPack" for $33, you'll get three new pairs of underwear, socks and undershirts delivered to your house every three months. --And there are other packages available, which allow you to get fewer pairs of underwear, socks and undershirts each month. --There's even a package where you can get just underwear, or . . . if you prefer going COMMANDO . . . just socks. (Digg)(--Order your ManPack here . . .)http://manpacks.com/


NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) A LITTLE KID GOT CONFUSED WHEN HE MET HIS FIRST GAY COUPLE:A little kid met his first gay couple and tried to wrap his brain around the idea of gay marriage. Then he thought it was funny. Then he invited them to play ping pong. (--Search for "adorable child accepts gay marriage." He gets excited at :34.)http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1930431

#2.) TOYOTA MADE A VIDEO ON HOW TO STOP YOUR RUNAWAY CAR:Toyota released an instructional video that shows what to do if your car starts accelerating uncontrollably. (--Search for "Toyota stopping procedure video.") http://www.toyota.com/recall/videos/stoppingprocedure.html

#3.) A ZAMBONI FELL THROUGH THIN ICE ON A LAKE IN COLORADO:At a resort in Colorado, a Zamboni was cleaning a frozen pond, but the ice was too thin, and it fell through. (--Search for "Zamboni Keystone Ice Rink fail.") http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQvsbmb92uc

#4.) A BRITISH COMMERCIAL FOR DUREX "PLEASURE GEL" SHOWS WOMEN'S FACES AS THEY CLIMAX:Censors in Britain said a Durex ad for "Play O" lubrication is okay to air before 11 P.M., even though it features close-ups of women's faces as they climax. (--Search for "Durex Play O gel commercial.")http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/mar/10/durex-play-ad-asa


THE TEN WORST CONVERSATION MISTAKES:

"Marie Claire" magazine made a list of the ten worst conversation mistakes you can make. And we've all made at least one of them. Here they are . . .
#1.) CONVERSATION HIJACKING. It's when you constantly try to one-up everyone else. They tell a story, and then you say something like, "Well, if you think THAT'S great, listen to THIS."
#2.) GHOST LISTENING. It's when you're at a concert or a crowded bar, and you can't hear what someone's saying because it's so loud. But instead of saying, "I can't hear you," you pretend that you can. --You can usually get away with it, but it could also go horribly wrong. If you want to make sure you don't offend someone, just ask to go outside where it's not so loud.
#3.) DEAD END ANSWERING. It's answering questions with just a "yes" or a "no." And it doesn't REALLY qualify as a conversation. You should only use short answers when you want to get RID of someone.
#4.) YOU GO ON AND ON. It's the opposite of "dead end answering." Someone asks you a question, and instead of giving a short, concise answer, you go into WAY too much detail, and you go off on multiple tangents.
#5.) EYE CONTACT ISSUES. If you don't make enough eye contact, the other person will think you're bored. But they'll also be uncomfortable if you stare the entire time. So you have to mix it up.
#6.) SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION. It's when you go on and on about how great your kids are, or how well your stocks are performing. You either sound like a jerk, or you sound insecure.
#7.) YOU ONLY TALK ABOUT YOURSELF. It's like stage two of "shameless self promotion." You talk about yourself so much, you forget to ask questions. People tend to do it on first dates because they get nervous.
#8.) MAKING TASTELESS JOKES. If you're a "bathroom humor" type, save it until you're REALLY good friends with the other person. Otherwise, it's a turn off for women AND men.
#9.) YOU'RE ALWAYS NEGATIVE. If you feel the need to constantly complain about your life, please remember this vital piece of information: nobody wants to hear it. Unless they're your shrink, and you're paying them. --And "Marie Claire" magazine makes another good point. They say that, in a way, if you make fun of yourself too much, you're also being negative. Basically, if it's over the top, it turns people off.
#10.) YOU ONLY TALK ABOUT POP CULTURE. It's not good if you sound like you ONLY read "Us Weekly". But it's also bad if you ONLY talk about Russian literature. Ideally, it would be a mix of the two. (MarieClaire.com)


FIVE TIPS FOR ARGUING WITH YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER:

It sucks to fight with your boyfriend or girlfriend, but it's going to happen at some point, so you might as well be prepared. Here are five quick tips on how to stay constructive during an argument.
#1.) SET GROUND RULES. There are three main rules to follow: Don't interrupt, don't be negative, and don't be defensive. See? Impossible.
#2.) BE PATIENT. Don't rush into difficult conversations. Your boyfriend or girlfriend probably has a different style and temperament than you, so you're going to approach the argument in different ways.
#3.) LISTEN ACTIVELY. You're not allowed to sit there nodding your head. You have to actively listen to the other person, without interrupting, and make sure you've heard AND understood the points they're making.
#4.) BE HONEST. You have to be honest about what you need, what you think, and what you want. And allow the other person to be the same way. There's no point going through the pain of an argument without getting it all out there.
#5.) RESERVE JUDGMENT. Try to be open-minded and receptive to different possibilities for resolving a problem. Some of the best solutions can come from ideas that sound crazy at first. (Match.com)

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