March 23, 2010
HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW
THE SANDRA BULLOCK SEX SCANDAL
SANDRA BULLOCK MAY BE HIDING OUT IN AUSTIN, TEXAS:
"Inside Edition" says that SANDRA BULLOCK is hiding out in Austin, Texas, where she owns some property. (--We don't know that for sure . . . but obviously, we'll let you know if we hear anything definite. --Meanwhile, a friend tells Fox News that Sandra is coping well with the chaos surrounding her and her husband, JESSE JAMES. --The friend says, quote, "Sandra is keeping to herself and there are people in her life to help her through this, including her family, especially her father. --"Sandra is a strong woman, but this is such a mess for her. She just won an Academy Award and was celebrating that. Her win should be her focus, but instead, she's hiding out and angry with Jesse. --"Friends have been calling and checking up on her, but she's doing better every day. She will bounce back." --Sandra has actually been in contact with Jesse . . . but don't expect a reconciliation anytime soon. --Her friend says, quote, "She needs space, time to think and decide how she's going to act. Sandra has heard some of Jesse's side, but she is still pretty shocked. --"She really loved and adored him, any small betrayal would have hurt her, but this is so much to absorb. --"I think it's unlikely that Sandra will take Jesse back. This is going to be a lot for her to overcome. She's a strong, smart woman and she knows what is best for her. She is taking it one day at a time." --As for Jesse's frame of mind, the friend says, quote, "Jesse is sick with worry and he's upset by the media reports and odd rumors. His biggest sadness is ruining Sandra's life with all this drama, and he is concerned about his children. --"He's doing his best to apologize to Sandra and fix his mistakes but it may not be enough. Friends don't see her jumping back into the marriage with him. They have a tough road ahead." --In related news, Sandra has backed out of her SECOND international "Blind Side" premiere. This time, it's the German premiere. --Or, should I say, it WAS the German premiere??? Without Sandra, they decided to cancel the whole thing. --Sandra's people didn't bother to come up with an excuse this time. Not that we needed one.
MO'NIQUE IS REACHING OUT TO SANDRA BULLOCK:
Maybe what SANDRA BULLOCK needs right now is to talk with a fellow Oscar winner. --MO'NIQUE . . . who won Best Supporting Actress this year . . . said, quote, "Sandra, if you need me, sugar, call me, baby." --She added, quote, "To my sweet sister Sandra, my prayers are with you. My prayers are also with your husband, baby. That is between the two of you and I hope ya'll make it work. --"I don't wish her nothing but happiness, along with her husband . . . I don't want to see any marriages dissolve or break up." (--This would probably be a good time to note that Mo'Nique is in an OPEN MARRIAGE. She's never cheated on her husband, but she says it's 100% okay for him to sleep around on her. AS MUCH AS HE WANTS.)(--You can listen to Mo'Nique's well-wishes here . . .)http://www.etonline.com/news/2010/03/85196/index.html
SACHA BARON COHEN AND ISLA FISHER ARE MARRIED:
SACHA BARON COHEN and ISLA FISHER got married in Paris, according to some Australian tabloid. --The magazine claims that Isla sent an e-mail to friends saying, quote, "We did it . . . we're married! It was the absolute best day of my life and in so many beautiful moments I missed you all so much. --"I thought of you as everything was happening, but Sacha and I wanted no fuss . . . just us!" --Sacha and Isla have been dating for about eight years, and have a 2-year-old daughter named Olive.
SANDRA BULLOCK MAY BE HIDING OUT IN AUSTIN, TEXAS:
"Inside Edition" says that SANDRA BULLOCK is hiding out in Austin, Texas, where she owns some property. (--We don't know that for sure . . . but obviously, we'll let you know if we hear anything definite. --Meanwhile, a friend tells Fox News that Sandra is coping well with the chaos surrounding her and her husband, JESSE JAMES. --The friend says, quote, "Sandra is keeping to herself and there are people in her life to help her through this, including her family, especially her father. --"Sandra is a strong woman, but this is such a mess for her. She just won an Academy Award and was celebrating that. Her win should be her focus, but instead, she's hiding out and angry with Jesse. --"Friends have been calling and checking up on her, but she's doing better every day. She will bounce back." --Sandra has actually been in contact with Jesse . . . but don't expect a reconciliation anytime soon. --Her friend says, quote, "She needs space, time to think and decide how she's going to act. Sandra has heard some of Jesse's side, but she is still pretty shocked. --"She really loved and adored him, any small betrayal would have hurt her, but this is so much to absorb. --"I think it's unlikely that Sandra will take Jesse back. This is going to be a lot for her to overcome. She's a strong, smart woman and she knows what is best for her. She is taking it one day at a time." --As for Jesse's frame of mind, the friend says, quote, "Jesse is sick with worry and he's upset by the media reports and odd rumors. His biggest sadness is ruining Sandra's life with all this drama, and he is concerned about his children. --"He's doing his best to apologize to Sandra and fix his mistakes but it may not be enough. Friends don't see her jumping back into the marriage with him. They have a tough road ahead." --In related news, Sandra has backed out of her SECOND international "Blind Side" premiere. This time, it's the German premiere. --Or, should I say, it WAS the German premiere??? Without Sandra, they decided to cancel the whole thing. --Sandra's people didn't bother to come up with an excuse this time. Not that we needed one.
MO'NIQUE IS REACHING OUT TO SANDRA BULLOCK:
Maybe what SANDRA BULLOCK needs right now is to talk with a fellow Oscar winner. --MO'NIQUE . . . who won Best Supporting Actress this year . . . said, quote, "Sandra, if you need me, sugar, call me, baby." --She added, quote, "To my sweet sister Sandra, my prayers are with you. My prayers are also with your husband, baby. That is between the two of you and I hope ya'll make it work. --"I don't wish her nothing but happiness, along with her husband . . . I don't want to see any marriages dissolve or break up." (--This would probably be a good time to note that Mo'Nique is in an OPEN MARRIAGE. She's never cheated on her husband, but she says it's 100% okay for him to sleep around on her. AS MUCH AS HE WANTS.)(--You can listen to Mo'Nique's well-wishes here . . .)http://www.etonline.com/news/2010/03/85196/index.html
SACHA BARON COHEN AND ISLA FISHER ARE MARRIED:
SACHA BARON COHEN and ISLA FISHER got married in Paris, according to some Australian tabloid. --The magazine claims that Isla sent an e-mail to friends saying, quote, "We did it . . . we're married! It was the absolute best day of my life and in so many beautiful moments I missed you all so much. --"I thought of you as everything was happening, but Sacha and I wanted no fuss . . . just us!" --Sacha and Isla have been dating for about eight years, and have a 2-year-old daughter named Olive.
REESE WITHERSPOON AND HER BOYFRIEND WENT PUBLIC:
REESE WITHERSPOON and her boyfriend, Hollywood agent Jim Toth, have gone public. They were spotted holding hands at a farmer's market in Ojai, California on Saturday. --Reese turned 34 yesterday. Jim is 39.
ANGELINA JOLIE WON'T TRY TO STEAL JOHNNY DEPP AWAY FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND . . . BUT SHE MIGHT TRY TO STEAL JOHNNY'S GIRLFRIEND AWAY FROM HIM:
When the tabloids found out that JOHNNY DEPP and ANGELINA JOLIE were going to do a movie together . . . and that the movie would include a LOVE SCENE . . . --. . . They all said Angelina was going to steal Johnny away from his girlfriend, VANESSA PARADIS. --So you have to give props to Pulitzer Prize candidate "The National Enquirer" for taking things in a slightly different direction. --They say Angelina isn't interested in stealing Johnny away from Vanessa. But she might be interested in stealing VANESSA away from JOHNNY. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "Angelina laughed when she read the reports about her supposedly having a crush on Johnny. --"She pointed out that while there's no doubt he's a good looking guy, there's nothing especially exciting about him . . . and she thinks his girlfriend is way hotter. --"Ever since Angie first saw magazine photos of Vanessa, she has wanted to meet her."
TIGER TALES
ELIN AND THE KIDS WERE ON THE FAMILY YACHT WHILE TIGER DID HIS SUNDAY INTERVIEWS:
For the second time, ELIN NORDEGREN was nowhere to be found when TIGER WOODS went on TV to spill his guts. --While Tiger was giving his little five-minute interviews to ESPN and the Golf Channel, Elin and the kids were on the family's $22 million yacht, about 150 miles away. They actually spent two nights on the boat, but never left the dock. --Elin and the kids were back on dry land yesterday. (--Check out this annoying paparazzi video of Elin picking up her daughter from preschool . . .) http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=16447795-9703-49cf-86b4-9ae66a5e7dec--Meanwhile . . . a so-called "friend" says that the marriage is still on pretty shaky ground . . . quote, "She wears a chastity belt made of spikes. They are not living together as a couple. They are putting on a charade for the children. --"Elin is going through the motions of family life only to keep the children well grounded."
MICHAEL JACKSON MADNESS
DID DR. CONRAD MURRAY STOP GIVING MICHAEL JACKSON CPR . . . SO HE COULD COLLECT AND HIDE DRUGS???
A report from the MICHAEL JACKSON investigation that was released yesterday doesn't bode well for Michael's physician, DR. CONRAD MURRAY. --The report in question details testimony given to investigators by Alberto Alvarez. He was Michael's "logistics director" . . . and he was called to Michael's side as Michael was dying last June. --Alvarez told police that Dr. Murray actually stopped giving Michael CPR and delayed calling paramedics . . . so that he could collect and hide drugs. --Obviously, that could be huge in the involuntary manslaughter case against Murray. -Alvarez said that when he entered the room, Michael was showing no signs of life. His mouth and eyes were open and there was an IV attached to his leg. Murray was trying to revive him. --Alvarez began to help. But at one point, Murray stopped to collect drug vials. He handed them to Alvarez and told him to put them in a plastic bag. Then he told Alvarez to put the plastic bag inside a canvas bag. --He also asked Alvarez to remove an IV bag that contained a milky white substance. (--That could describe PROPOFOL, the anesthetic that killed Michael.) He told Alvarez to put the IV bag into ANOTHER canvas bag. --Alvarez told investigators he has no idea what happened to the canvas bags. --At one point, Michael's two older kids, Prince and Paris, entered the room . . . and started crying when they saw what was going on. A nanny came and took them to wait in a vehicle outside the house. --Alvarez also said that after Michael was declared dead at the hospital, Murray said he needed to go back to Michael's rented mansion and pick up a mysterious "cream" that Michael wouldn't have wanted the world to know he was using. --Murray's attorney, Ed Chernoff, is obviously denying all of this. He says Alvarez was interviewed by police TWICE, and gave conflicting accounts. --During the first interview, Chernoff says Alvarez made no mention of the hiding of the drugs. --Chernoff said, quote, "He didn't say any of those things, then two months later, all of a sudden, the doc is throwing bottles into the bag. Alvarez's statement is inconsistent with his previous statement. We will deal with that at trial." --Chernoff's rep added, quote, "We can say unequivocally that Dr. Murray did everything in his power to save Michael Jackson's life and that he fully cooperated with both the paramedics at the scene and physicians at UCLA Medical Center."
THE OCTOMOM HAS RECEIVED AN OFFICIAL OFFER TO DO PORNOGRAPHY:
The Octomom, NADYA SULEMAN, got the offer everyone pretty much knew she was gonna get yesterday. --Steven Hirsch . . . president of the smut company Vivid Entertainment . . . has offered to pay off Nadya's mortgage if she does some PORNO for him. --Nadya is behind $460,000 on the mortgage, and she has until the end of business TODAY to pay it off, or she loses the house. --Sadly, however, Nadya may not have to get on her back to save her home. Her attorney, one Jeff Czech, thinks he has a plan to stall that. --He claims that the former owner, Amer Haddadin, failed to disclose a water leak and a roofing problem when he sold the house to Nadya and her father. Thus, he can tie everything up in the courts, which would delay any eviction proceedings. --Plus, a foreclosure would take three months anyway. And by that time, he believes Nadya and her dad will be able to refinance and get back into a more doable payment schedule.
JOHN MALKOVICH AND FRANCES MCDORMAND HAVE JOINED THE CAST OF "TRANSFORMERS 3":
For some reason, JOHN MALKOVICH and FRANCES MCDORMAND have joined the cast of "Transformers 3". --Director MICHAEL BAY dropped the news on his blog, saying, quote, "Both amazing actors I've always wanted to work with. --"We also just got KEN JEONG, he is the superfunny actor stuck in the trunk from 'Hangover' and the Doctor from 'Knocked Up'." --McDormand . . . the 1997 Best Actress winner for "Fargo" . . . will play the National Intelligence Director. Malkovich will play SHIA LABEOUF'S boss. --There's no word who . . . or WHAT . . . Ken Jeong will play. (--We're assuming he's playing a live-action character . . . but who knows.) (--Maybe Michael Bay came up with a new Asian robot that hits all the corresponding stereotypes, to go along with those "black" robots he introduced in "Transformers 2".)
HERE'S A SCENE FROM "ECLIPSE":
If you bought the notoriously bare-bones DVD of "New Moon" that came out over the weekend, then you've already seen the OH-MY-GAWD-EXCLUSIVE-BONUS-FOOTAGE-FROM-"ECLIPSE"!!! (???) -If not, we've got it for you. It's just over a hundred seconds of Bella and Edward discussing whether or not she should become a vampire. (--"Eclipse" . . . the third film in the "Twilight" franchise . . . hits theaters on June 30th. Here's the clip . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BcIY9YMrbQ
CHRIS EVANS WILL PLAY CAPTAIN AMERICA:
REESE WITHERSPOON and her boyfriend, Hollywood agent Jim Toth, have gone public. They were spotted holding hands at a farmer's market in Ojai, California on Saturday. --Reese turned 34 yesterday. Jim is 39.
ANGELINA JOLIE WON'T TRY TO STEAL JOHNNY DEPP AWAY FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND . . . BUT SHE MIGHT TRY TO STEAL JOHNNY'S GIRLFRIEND AWAY FROM HIM:
When the tabloids found out that JOHNNY DEPP and ANGELINA JOLIE were going to do a movie together . . . and that the movie would include a LOVE SCENE . . . --. . . They all said Angelina was going to steal Johnny away from his girlfriend, VANESSA PARADIS. --So you have to give props to Pulitzer Prize candidate "The National Enquirer" for taking things in a slightly different direction. --They say Angelina isn't interested in stealing Johnny away from Vanessa. But she might be interested in stealing VANESSA away from JOHNNY. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "Angelina laughed when she read the reports about her supposedly having a crush on Johnny. --"She pointed out that while there's no doubt he's a good looking guy, there's nothing especially exciting about him . . . and she thinks his girlfriend is way hotter. --"Ever since Angie first saw magazine photos of Vanessa, she has wanted to meet her."
TIGER TALES
ELIN AND THE KIDS WERE ON THE FAMILY YACHT WHILE TIGER DID HIS SUNDAY INTERVIEWS:
For the second time, ELIN NORDEGREN was nowhere to be found when TIGER WOODS went on TV to spill his guts. --While Tiger was giving his little five-minute interviews to ESPN and the Golf Channel, Elin and the kids were on the family's $22 million yacht, about 150 miles away. They actually spent two nights on the boat, but never left the dock. --Elin and the kids were back on dry land yesterday. (--Check out this annoying paparazzi video of Elin picking up her daughter from preschool . . .) http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=16447795-9703-49cf-86b4-9ae66a5e7dec--Meanwhile . . . a so-called "friend" says that the marriage is still on pretty shaky ground . . . quote, "She wears a chastity belt made of spikes. They are not living together as a couple. They are putting on a charade for the children. --"Elin is going through the motions of family life only to keep the children well grounded."
MICHAEL JACKSON MADNESS
DID DR. CONRAD MURRAY STOP GIVING MICHAEL JACKSON CPR . . . SO HE COULD COLLECT AND HIDE DRUGS???
A report from the MICHAEL JACKSON investigation that was released yesterday doesn't bode well for Michael's physician, DR. CONRAD MURRAY. --The report in question details testimony given to investigators by Alberto Alvarez. He was Michael's "logistics director" . . . and he was called to Michael's side as Michael was dying last June. --Alvarez told police that Dr. Murray actually stopped giving Michael CPR and delayed calling paramedics . . . so that he could collect and hide drugs. --Obviously, that could be huge in the involuntary manslaughter case against Murray. -Alvarez said that when he entered the room, Michael was showing no signs of life. His mouth and eyes were open and there was an IV attached to his leg. Murray was trying to revive him. --Alvarez began to help. But at one point, Murray stopped to collect drug vials. He handed them to Alvarez and told him to put them in a plastic bag. Then he told Alvarez to put the plastic bag inside a canvas bag. --He also asked Alvarez to remove an IV bag that contained a milky white substance. (--That could describe PROPOFOL, the anesthetic that killed Michael.) He told Alvarez to put the IV bag into ANOTHER canvas bag. --Alvarez told investigators he has no idea what happened to the canvas bags. --At one point, Michael's two older kids, Prince and Paris, entered the room . . . and started crying when they saw what was going on. A nanny came and took them to wait in a vehicle outside the house. --Alvarez also said that after Michael was declared dead at the hospital, Murray said he needed to go back to Michael's rented mansion and pick up a mysterious "cream" that Michael wouldn't have wanted the world to know he was using. --Murray's attorney, Ed Chernoff, is obviously denying all of this. He says Alvarez was interviewed by police TWICE, and gave conflicting accounts. --During the first interview, Chernoff says Alvarez made no mention of the hiding of the drugs. --Chernoff said, quote, "He didn't say any of those things, then two months later, all of a sudden, the doc is throwing bottles into the bag. Alvarez's statement is inconsistent with his previous statement. We will deal with that at trial." --Chernoff's rep added, quote, "We can say unequivocally that Dr. Murray did everything in his power to save Michael Jackson's life and that he fully cooperated with both the paramedics at the scene and physicians at UCLA Medical Center."
THE OCTOMOM HAS RECEIVED AN OFFICIAL OFFER TO DO PORNOGRAPHY:
The Octomom, NADYA SULEMAN, got the offer everyone pretty much knew she was gonna get yesterday. --Steven Hirsch . . . president of the smut company Vivid Entertainment . . . has offered to pay off Nadya's mortgage if she does some PORNO for him. --Nadya is behind $460,000 on the mortgage, and she has until the end of business TODAY to pay it off, or she loses the house. --Sadly, however, Nadya may not have to get on her back to save her home. Her attorney, one Jeff Czech, thinks he has a plan to stall that. --He claims that the former owner, Amer Haddadin, failed to disclose a water leak and a roofing problem when he sold the house to Nadya and her father. Thus, he can tie everything up in the courts, which would delay any eviction proceedings. --Plus, a foreclosure would take three months anyway. And by that time, he believes Nadya and her dad will be able to refinance and get back into a more doable payment schedule.
JOHN MALKOVICH AND FRANCES MCDORMAND HAVE JOINED THE CAST OF "TRANSFORMERS 3":
For some reason, JOHN MALKOVICH and FRANCES MCDORMAND have joined the cast of "Transformers 3". --Director MICHAEL BAY dropped the news on his blog, saying, quote, "Both amazing actors I've always wanted to work with. --"We also just got KEN JEONG, he is the superfunny actor stuck in the trunk from 'Hangover' and the Doctor from 'Knocked Up'." --McDormand . . . the 1997 Best Actress winner for "Fargo" . . . will play the National Intelligence Director. Malkovich will play SHIA LABEOUF'S boss. --There's no word who . . . or WHAT . . . Ken Jeong will play. (--We're assuming he's playing a live-action character . . . but who knows.) (--Maybe Michael Bay came up with a new Asian robot that hits all the corresponding stereotypes, to go along with those "black" robots he introduced in "Transformers 2".)
HERE'S A SCENE FROM "ECLIPSE":
If you bought the notoriously bare-bones DVD of "New Moon" that came out over the weekend, then you've already seen the OH-MY-GAWD-EXCLUSIVE-BONUS-FOOTAGE-FROM-"ECLIPSE"!!! (???) -If not, we've got it for you. It's just over a hundred seconds of Bella and Edward discussing whether or not she should become a vampire. (--"Eclipse" . . . the third film in the "Twilight" franchise . . . hits theaters on June 30th. Here's the clip . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BcIY9YMrbQ
CHRIS EVANS WILL PLAY CAPTAIN AMERICA:
The "Hollywood Reporter" says that CHRIS EVANS will star in the upcoming "Captain America" movie . . . (--Plus any sequels, and the "Avengers" flick.) --Comic book fans may recognize Chris as the Human Torch in the "Fantastic Four" movies. The fact that he's swapping costumes probably means there won't be another "FF" movie anytime soon. (--Not that the franchise will be missed.)
MIKE MYERS IS WORKING ON "AUSTIN POWERS 4":
Whether you want it or not, there WILL be another "Austin Powers" movie. MIKE MYERS is developing it as we speak. --JAY ROACH . . . who directed the first three . . . says, quote, "He's working on ideas for it, people are definitely talking about it and I'm all good for it . . . I love that group of people and what could be better than going back to that?" --There's no word yet on any plot details. (--The third movie, "Austin Powers in Goldmember", came out in 2002.)
CHECK OUT THE TEASER FOR "MEGAMIND":
There's a teaser trailer online for "Megamind". It's an animated comedy coming out next November, featuring the voices of Will Ferrell, Brad Pitt, Tina Fey and Jonah Hill. --Ferrell plays Megamind, an evil genius who defeats his arch enemy, the superhero Metro Man . . . played by Brad Pitt. Jonah Hill plays a superhero Megamind creates to take Metro Man's place. Tina plays a reporter. (--Check it out . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkdXBsqq1ok
MILEY CYRUS IS THIS WEEK'S "CELEBRITY MENTOR" ON "IDOL"
MIKE MYERS IS WORKING ON "AUSTIN POWERS 4":
Whether you want it or not, there WILL be another "Austin Powers" movie. MIKE MYERS is developing it as we speak. --JAY ROACH . . . who directed the first three . . . says, quote, "He's working on ideas for it, people are definitely talking about it and I'm all good for it . . . I love that group of people and what could be better than going back to that?" --There's no word yet on any plot details. (--The third movie, "Austin Powers in Goldmember", came out in 2002.)
CHECK OUT THE TEASER FOR "MEGAMIND":
There's a teaser trailer online for "Megamind". It's an animated comedy coming out next November, featuring the voices of Will Ferrell, Brad Pitt, Tina Fey and Jonah Hill. --Ferrell plays Megamind, an evil genius who defeats his arch enemy, the superhero Metro Man . . . played by Brad Pitt. Jonah Hill plays a superhero Megamind creates to take Metro Man's place. Tina plays a reporter. (--Check it out . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FkdXBsqq1ok
MILEY CYRUS IS THIS WEEK'S "CELEBRITY MENTOR" ON "IDOL"
MILEY CYRUS will be on "American Idol" tonight, because she's serving as this week's "celebrity mentor." And she'll be back tomorrow night to perform her single, "When I Look At You". --Also tomorrow night, JOE JONAS and his girlfriend DEMI LOVATO will sing their new duet, "Make a Wave". (--Miley may have a lot of experience being a young idol in the music industry, but it's still amusing to consider her a "mentor.") (--Of the 11 contestants, only two . . . 16-year-old AARON KELLY and 17-year-old KATIE STEVENS . . . are younger than Miley. And Katie is just two weeks younger than Miley. She turned 17 on December 8th.)
CONAN O'BRIEN CAN'T BE ON "IDOL GIVES BACK" BECAUSE OF HIS EXIT AGREEMENT WITH NBC:
"The Hollywood Reporter" says CONAN O'BRIEN was approached about appearing on this year's "Idol Gives Back" charity special on April 21st. --And it might have worked, because that's an open date on Conan's Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour, which WILL be in California at that time. --But it isn't happening, because Conan . . . you know . . . is prohibited from being funny on television. In other words, NBC isn't letting him do the show. --Under the terms of his exit deal with NBC, Conan is not only prohibited from doing a new show until September . . . but he's also apparently banned from appearing on TV altogether, funny or not, until May 1st.
ANOOP DESAI RELEASED A SINGLE TODAY:
ANOOP DESAI . . . who came in sixth place on "American Idol" last season . . . released his first single to iTunes today. It's a "Bollywood-inspired" track called "My Name". You can check it out, here . . . http://tvwatch.people.com/2010/03/22/first-listen-anoop-desais-bollywood-inspired-my-name/--It'll be released on an EP called "All Is Fair", which hits stores on May 4th. (--For those of you who don't know, Bollywood is the nickname of the Indian film industry. Indian flicks are notorious for their song-and-dance numbers. Even a lot of their horror movies have them.) (???)
WILL AZIZ ANSARI HOST THIS YEAR'S MTV MOVIE AWARDS???
Comedian AZIZ ANSARI . . . who you may know as Tom Haverford on "Parks and Recreation" . . . is in line to host this year's MTV Movie Awards. --No official announcement has been made yet, but the "Los Angeles Times" is reporting that MTV and Aziz are in, quote, "final negotiations." --The MTV Movie Awards will air live on June 6th. (--Nominations for this year's awards have not yet been announced.)
NEW ON VIDEO TODAY
--"The Blind Side" - Sandra Bullock's Oscar-winning role as a woman who welcomes a homeless teenager into her family and turns his life around by inspiring him to bring up his grades and play football. -It's based on the true story of Michael Oher, who's now an offensive tackle for the Baltimore Ravens. A clean-shaven Tim McGraw plays her husband and Michael Oher is played by an unknown actor named Quinton Aaron.
--"The Men Who Stare At Goats" - A comedy starring George Clooney as part of a military unit dedicated to psychic powers . . . like killing a goat by staring at it. Ewan McGregor plays a reporter helping him track down the founder of the unit. It also stars Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges.
--"Brothers" - Natalie Portman plays a Marine wife who's told that her husband died in Afghanistan. His brother consoles her a little TOO well and they fall in love. Unfortunately, her husband DIDN'T die. Tobey Maguire plays the jealous husband and Jake Gyllenhaal is his brother.
--"Red Cliff" - An epic war movie about a legendary battle in ancient China, called the Battle of Red Cliffs, which brought about the end of the Han Dynasty. It doesn't star anyone you'd know, but it looks pretty tight . . . you know, if kung fu and war movies are your thing.
--"The T.A.M.I. Show" (Collector's Edition) - The Rolling Stones, The Beach Boys, and James Brown and The Flames are among the performers at a 1964 concert known filmed live at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium.
--"Fantastic Mr. Fox" - An old-school stop-motion animated movie based on a book by Roald Dahl, the guy who wrote "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" --George Clooney is a cunning fox that raids local farms, and evades the farmers' attempts to catch him. Meryl Streep plays his worrying wife, Jason Schwartzman plays Fox's son, and "Harry Potter's" Michael Gambon is one of the evil farmers.
TV SERIES ON DVD:--"Mad Men: Season 3" . . . a four-disc DVD set.--"The Prisoner" . . . a three-disc DVD set of the SyFy Channel mini-series that starred Ian McKellen and Jim Cavaziel.--"Life With Derek: The Complete Third Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.--"Seventh Heaven: Season 10" . . . a five-disc set. (--It ran for 11 seasons.)--"Sabrina, The Teenage Witch: The Sixth Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set. (--It ran for seven seasons.)
NEW MUSIC OUT TODAY
--"Now That's What I Call Music! 33", Various Artists . . . including Lady Antebellum, Taylor Swift, Snoop Dogg, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Orianthi, Ke$ha, Train, Daughtry, Jason Derulo, and "American Idol's" Adam Lambert and Kris Allen.
--"My World 2.0", 16-year-old teenage heartthrob Justin Bieber (--This is actually his second album. It features Ludacris on his smash hit "Baby" . . . plus his new "writing partner" Sean Kingston on their song "Eenie Meenie".)
-"Still Standing", R&B minx Monica
--"More Malice", Snoop Dogg (--A CD/DVD follow-up to his "Malice in Wonderland" disc, that includes a mini-movie in which Snoop plays a gangsta superhero fighting a corrupt police force. Jamie Foxx, Xzibit, and Soulja Boy all have cameos.)
(--The "Malice" re-release has five new songs, featuring guests Kid Cudi, and The Kings G-Mix . . . with Jay-Z, Soulja Boy and Bun B. Snoop has a lot of behind the scenes videos at his site.)
IS CULTURE CLUB REUNITING???
In an interview on British radio, BOY GEORGE brought up the possibility that CULTURE CLUB could reunite again next year to celebrate their 30th anniversary. --He said, quote, "We could do a one-off gig or maybe a small tour. It's our 30th anniversary next year so we may do something. It's all about my mood at the time." --Culture Club broke up in 1986, but reunited several times since . . . most recently in 2002, to celebrate the 20th anniversary of their first hit single, "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me".
GREEN DAY HAVE ANNOUNCED THEIR SUMMER TOUR DATES:
GREEN DAY have announced the dates for a late summer tour, which will kick off August 3rd in Camden, New Jersey . . . and run through September 2nd in Chula Vista, California. (--You can see their full itinerary, here . . .) http://www.greenday.com/site/tour.php (--AFI will be the opening band. Tickets start going on sale this Friday.)
IS BEYONCÉ THE NEXT MICHAEL JACKSON???
QUESTLOVE . . . the drummer for the hip-hop group THE ROOTS . . . thinks that BEYONCÉ is going to become the next MICHAEL JACKSON. (--In a good way.) --He tells "Vibe", quote, "No one is EVER disputing MJ being the standard. [But Beyoncé] is well on her way at a quicker pace than the unspoken. This is year 10 for her at THIS level. It took MJ 13 years before he became GOD status. --"[Beyoncé] appeals to all races . . . all lifestyle creeds from the kiddest of the kid, to the churchest of the church. Straights, Huxtable men . . . housewives and hoes. She can actually sing, and dances with the best of them. --"[She's] a regular on most fashion mags, sells out stadiums, wins countless Grammys, makes anthems, got bank . . . [and] is her own industry." (--Not to mention her videos, which some feel have been the best of ALL TIME.)
MGMT'S NEW ALBUM IS STREAMING ONLINE:
MGMT'S new album, "Congratulations", won't hit stores until April 13th, but it recently leaked online . . . so the band made the whole thing available for streaming from their website. (--You can listen to it, here . . .) http://www.whoismgmt.com/
CONAN O'BRIEN CAN'T BE ON "IDOL GIVES BACK" BECAUSE OF HIS EXIT AGREEMENT WITH NBC:
"The Hollywood Reporter" says CONAN O'BRIEN was approached about appearing on this year's "Idol Gives Back" charity special on April 21st. --And it might have worked, because that's an open date on Conan's Legally Prohibited from Being Funny on Television Tour, which WILL be in California at that time. --But it isn't happening, because Conan . . . you know . . . is prohibited from being funny on television. In other words, NBC isn't letting him do the show. --Under the terms of his exit deal with NBC, Conan is not only prohibited from doing a new show until September . . . but he's also apparently banned from appearing on TV altogether, funny or not, until May 1st.
ANOOP DESAI RELEASED A SINGLE TODAY:
ANOOP DESAI . . . who came in sixth place on "American Idol" last season . . . released his first single to iTunes today. It's a "Bollywood-inspired" track called "My Name". You can check it out, here . . . http://tvwatch.people.com/2010/03/22/first-listen-anoop-desais-bollywood-inspired-my-name/--It'll be released on an EP called "All Is Fair", which hits stores on May 4th. (--For those of you who don't know, Bollywood is the nickname of the Indian film industry. Indian flicks are notorious for their song-and-dance numbers. Even a lot of their horror movies have them.) (???)
WILL AZIZ ANSARI HOST THIS YEAR'S MTV MOVIE AWARDS???
Comedian AZIZ ANSARI . . . who you may know as Tom Haverford on "Parks and Recreation" . . . is in line to host this year's MTV Movie Awards. --No official announcement has been made yet, but the "Los Angeles Times" is reporting that MTV and Aziz are in, quote, "final negotiations." --The MTV Movie Awards will air live on June 6th. (--Nominations for this year's awards have not yet been announced.)
NEW ON VIDEO TODAY
--"The Blind Side" - Sandra Bullock's Oscar-winning role as a woman who welcomes a homeless teenager into her family and turns his life around by inspiring him to bring up his grades and play football. -It's based on the true story of Michael Oher, who's now an offensive tackle for the Baltimore Ravens. A clean-shaven Tim McGraw plays her husband and Michael Oher is played by an unknown actor named Quinton Aaron.
--"The Men Who Stare At Goats" - A comedy starring George Clooney as part of a military unit dedicated to psychic powers . . . like killing a goat by staring at it. Ewan McGregor plays a reporter helping him track down the founder of the unit. It also stars Kevin Spacey and Jeff Bridges.
--"Brothers" - Natalie Portman plays a Marine wife who's told that her husband died in Afghanistan. His brother consoles her a little TOO well and they fall in love. Unfortunately, her husband DIDN'T die. Tobey Maguire plays the jealous husband and Jake Gyllenhaal is his brother.
--"Red Cliff" - An epic war movie about a legendary battle in ancient China, called the Battle of Red Cliffs, which brought about the end of the Han Dynasty. It doesn't star anyone you'd know, but it looks pretty tight . . . you know, if kung fu and war movies are your thing.
--"The T.A.M.I. Show" (Collector's Edition) - The Rolling Stones, The Beach Boys, and James Brown and The Flames are among the performers at a 1964 concert known filmed live at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium.
--"Fantastic Mr. Fox" - An old-school stop-motion animated movie based on a book by Roald Dahl, the guy who wrote "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" --George Clooney is a cunning fox that raids local farms, and evades the farmers' attempts to catch him. Meryl Streep plays his worrying wife, Jason Schwartzman plays Fox's son, and "Harry Potter's" Michael Gambon is one of the evil farmers.
TV SERIES ON DVD:--"Mad Men: Season 3" . . . a four-disc DVD set.--"The Prisoner" . . . a three-disc DVD set of the SyFy Channel mini-series that starred Ian McKellen and Jim Cavaziel.--"Life With Derek: The Complete Third Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.--"Seventh Heaven: Season 10" . . . a five-disc set. (--It ran for 11 seasons.)--"Sabrina, The Teenage Witch: The Sixth Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set. (--It ran for seven seasons.)
NEW MUSIC OUT TODAY
--"Now That's What I Call Music! 33", Various Artists . . . including Lady Antebellum, Taylor Swift, Snoop Dogg, Rihanna, Lady Gaga, Orianthi, Ke$ha, Train, Daughtry, Jason Derulo, and "American Idol's" Adam Lambert and Kris Allen.
--"My World 2.0", 16-year-old teenage heartthrob Justin Bieber (--This is actually his second album. It features Ludacris on his smash hit "Baby" . . . plus his new "writing partner" Sean Kingston on their song "Eenie Meenie".)
-"Still Standing", R&B minx Monica
--"More Malice", Snoop Dogg (--A CD/DVD follow-up to his "Malice in Wonderland" disc, that includes a mini-movie in which Snoop plays a gangsta superhero fighting a corrupt police force. Jamie Foxx, Xzibit, and Soulja Boy all have cameos.)
(--The "Malice" re-release has five new songs, featuring guests Kid Cudi, and The Kings G-Mix . . . with Jay-Z, Soulja Boy and Bun B. Snoop has a lot of behind the scenes videos at his site.)
IS CULTURE CLUB REUNITING???
In an interview on British radio, BOY GEORGE brought up the possibility that CULTURE CLUB could reunite again next year to celebrate their 30th anniversary. --He said, quote, "We could do a one-off gig or maybe a small tour. It's our 30th anniversary next year so we may do something. It's all about my mood at the time." --Culture Club broke up in 1986, but reunited several times since . . . most recently in 2002, to celebrate the 20th anniversary of their first hit single, "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me".
GREEN DAY HAVE ANNOUNCED THEIR SUMMER TOUR DATES:
GREEN DAY have announced the dates for a late summer tour, which will kick off August 3rd in Camden, New Jersey . . . and run through September 2nd in Chula Vista, California. (--You can see their full itinerary, here . . .) http://www.greenday.com/site/tour.php (--AFI will be the opening band. Tickets start going on sale this Friday.)
IS BEYONCÉ THE NEXT MICHAEL JACKSON???
QUESTLOVE . . . the drummer for the hip-hop group THE ROOTS . . . thinks that BEYONCÉ is going to become the next MICHAEL JACKSON. (--In a good way.) --He tells "Vibe", quote, "No one is EVER disputing MJ being the standard. [But Beyoncé] is well on her way at a quicker pace than the unspoken. This is year 10 for her at THIS level. It took MJ 13 years before he became GOD status. --"[Beyoncé] appeals to all races . . . all lifestyle creeds from the kiddest of the kid, to the churchest of the church. Straights, Huxtable men . . . housewives and hoes. She can actually sing, and dances with the best of them. --"[She's] a regular on most fashion mags, sells out stadiums, wins countless Grammys, makes anthems, got bank . . . [and] is her own industry." (--Not to mention her videos, which some feel have been the best of ALL TIME.)
MGMT'S NEW ALBUM IS STREAMING ONLINE:
MGMT'S new album, "Congratulations", won't hit stores until April 13th, but it recently leaked online . . . so the band made the whole thing available for streaming from their website. (--You can listen to it, here . . .) http://www.whoismgmt.com/
NAZZY'S RANDOM STUFF
PEOPLE WHO BUY "GREEN" PRODUCTS ARE JERKS:
You might think that the people who say they love the planet love other people even more. Otherwise, why would they care about the environment so much? But a new study found that's not even close to the truth. --Researchers from the University of Toronto set up a series of tests to compare the behavior of environmentally-conscious people against the behavior of people who are less "crunchy." --What they found is that people who buy "green" products are more likely to LIE and CHEAT, and are six times more likely to STEAL, than people who are less environmentally conscious. And in general, they're MEANER overall. --According to the researchers, it has to do with something called "moral balancing." --The idea is that since "green" consumers have done so much to help the planet, they think they've built up so much goodwill that they're ALLOWED to be jerks. --Or as the researchers put it, quote, "Virtuous acts can license subsequent asocial and unethical behaviors." --In other words: Never trust a tree-hugging hippie. (AutoBlog / Detroit Bureau)
AND NOW . . . GET A GOOD LAUGH AT SOME KNUCKLEHEADS WITH FAKE TANS:
You might think that the people who say they love the planet love other people even more. Otherwise, why would they care about the environment so much? But a new study found that's not even close to the truth. --Researchers from the University of Toronto set up a series of tests to compare the behavior of environmentally-conscious people against the behavior of people who are less "crunchy." --What they found is that people who buy "green" products are more likely to LIE and CHEAT, and are six times more likely to STEAL, than people who are less environmentally conscious. And in general, they're MEANER overall. --According to the researchers, it has to do with something called "moral balancing." --The idea is that since "green" consumers have done so much to help the planet, they think they've built up so much goodwill that they're ALLOWED to be jerks. --Or as the researchers put it, quote, "Virtuous acts can license subsequent asocial and unethical behaviors." --In other words: Never trust a tree-hugging hippie. (AutoBlog / Detroit Bureau)
AND NOW . . . GET A GOOD LAUGH AT SOME KNUCKLEHEADS WITH FAKE TANS:
FAKE TANS always look a little off . . . if not downright disgusting. And yet, some people still insist on using fake-tan products, and getting their picture taken while looking like an over-tanned idiot. (Sun)(--Link to a photo gallery of fake-tan FAILURES here . . .)http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/features/2899798/Worst-fake-tan-foul-ups-on-web.html
AN ARTIST IN NEW YORK CREATES SCULPTURES OUT OF LEGOS:
36-year-old Nathan Sawaya is an artist from New York City. For the last ten years, Nathan's been creating life-size sculptures of the human body out of LEGO BLOCKS. --His first solo art exhibit, "Brick by Brick," opens today at the Agora Gallery in New York. (New York Daily News)(--You can link to Nathan's website here . . .) http://brickartist.com/
DOCTORS IN CHINA ARE USING BEE STING THERAPY TO REDUCE PAIN:
You might think our healthcare system sucks, or that it's about to become a complete train wreck. But it could be worse. --There's a medical clinic in Beijing called the Kang Tai Bee Clinic. Most of their patients have bone and joint conditions like rheumatism or arthritis, which COULD be treated using acupuncture . . . or dozens of other approved methods. --But that's not what they do at Kang Tai. Instead, they use BEE STING THERAPY. -Bee sting therapy involves placing up to 100 LIVE BEES on a patient's body, and allowing them to sting the individual at certain pressure points. -Regardless of whether there's any truth to it, doctors at Kang Tai believe the toxin in a bee's sting acts as a natural medicine, which eases a patient's discomfort and inflammation. --Bee sting therapy costs about $17.50 per treatment, and doctors at the clinic swear it works for more than 90% of their patients. --But that's what I love about the Chinese: Even when they're trying to HELP people, they still manage to cause them PAIN. (Yahoo News)
YOU CAN HIRE SOMEONE TO CLEAN UP THE DOG POOP IN YOUR YARD:
The key to business is identifying a need, and then providing a service or product to fill the gap. --Enter Pet Yard Pick-Up . . . a service in Minnesota that will send a cleanup crew to your house to rid your lawn of DOG POOP. --A woman named Gail Behrens-McArdle owns Pet Yard Pick-Up. She says she came up with the idea 21 years ago while cleaning up after her own dog. --According to Gail, quote, "This springtime has been a little more intense because we've had more snow, and the melt was so rapid . . . --"We're talking about hundreds of pounds of dog poop in some yards. We've been pretty knee-deep in the poop this year . . . --"Some people get upset when they realize how much poop is out there. We make sure every crumb, every morsel or speck is picked up." (Pioneer Press)
NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A BABY HATED MILEY CYRUS, BUT LOVED BON JOVI:A little girl in a highchair cried when the MILEY CYRUS song "Party In The U.S.A." came on, but she started dancing when her dad changed it to "Livin' On A Prayer" by BON JOVI. (--Search for "baby hates Miley Cyrus loves Bon Jovi.")http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1930953
#2.) "TOSH.0" VIEWERS SENT IN VIDEOS OF "SURPRISE TRUST FALLS":The show "Tosh.0" asked viewers to send in videos of themselves yelling "trust fall" then falling backward onto unsuspecting people. Victims included a pizza deliveryman and a girl standing next to a pool. (--Search for "Tosh.0 viewer surprise trust falls." The falls start at :20.)http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=267720&title=viewer-surprise-trust-falls
FOUR TIPS TO MAKE TAX TIME LESS STRESSFUL:
You've got just over three weeks to get your taxes done. But don't freak out. Here are three tips from real accountants that might make tax season a little less stressful . . .
#1.) YOU PROBABLY DON'T NEED AN ACCOUNTANT. If money's tight, you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars to get your taxes done. --H&R Block's online version guides you through the steps. If you just have a W-2 and you're taking the standard deduction, it's FREE. If your taxes are more complex than that, it ranges in price from $30 to $80 with an additional fee for state taxes.
#2.) DON'T TRY TO DO TOO MUCH. Some people SHOULDN'T do their own taxes. If you have a bunch of 1099's, or you worked in multiple states, use an accountant. Trying to figure it out yourself will drive you crazy. And mistakes can get you audited.
#3.) DON'T SHOW UP WITH A BIG BOX OF RECEIPTS. If you DO decide to go with an accountant, this is the thing they hate most. Don't make them sit there with you and add up every deduction. It takes all day, and it's stressful for both of you. --Do that part while you're sitting at home watching TV. Split the receipts up into categories like "travel expenses" and "home office expenses." Then bring in one piece of paper with all the final numbers on it. Or better yet, put it in a spreadsheet.
#4.) IF YOU'RE STRESSED OUT, JUST FILE AN EXTENSION. It's okay as long as you expect to get a refund. And it gives you until October 15th to get your taxes done. --Just be careful. If you OWE money, you'll be charged interest. But it's usually less than one percent a month. On the other hand, if you don't file your return OR an extension, they'll charge 5% a month and up to 25% of your total balance. (ReadersDigest.com)
AN ARTIST IN NEW YORK CREATES SCULPTURES OUT OF LEGOS:
36-year-old Nathan Sawaya is an artist from New York City. For the last ten years, Nathan's been creating life-size sculptures of the human body out of LEGO BLOCKS. --His first solo art exhibit, "Brick by Brick," opens today at the Agora Gallery in New York. (New York Daily News)(--You can link to Nathan's website here . . .) http://brickartist.com/
DOCTORS IN CHINA ARE USING BEE STING THERAPY TO REDUCE PAIN:
You might think our healthcare system sucks, or that it's about to become a complete train wreck. But it could be worse. --There's a medical clinic in Beijing called the Kang Tai Bee Clinic. Most of their patients have bone and joint conditions like rheumatism or arthritis, which COULD be treated using acupuncture . . . or dozens of other approved methods. --But that's not what they do at Kang Tai. Instead, they use BEE STING THERAPY. -Bee sting therapy involves placing up to 100 LIVE BEES on a patient's body, and allowing them to sting the individual at certain pressure points. -Regardless of whether there's any truth to it, doctors at Kang Tai believe the toxin in a bee's sting acts as a natural medicine, which eases a patient's discomfort and inflammation. --Bee sting therapy costs about $17.50 per treatment, and doctors at the clinic swear it works for more than 90% of their patients. --But that's what I love about the Chinese: Even when they're trying to HELP people, they still manage to cause them PAIN. (Yahoo News)
YOU CAN HIRE SOMEONE TO CLEAN UP THE DOG POOP IN YOUR YARD:
The key to business is identifying a need, and then providing a service or product to fill the gap. --Enter Pet Yard Pick-Up . . . a service in Minnesota that will send a cleanup crew to your house to rid your lawn of DOG POOP. --A woman named Gail Behrens-McArdle owns Pet Yard Pick-Up. She says she came up with the idea 21 years ago while cleaning up after her own dog. --According to Gail, quote, "This springtime has been a little more intense because we've had more snow, and the melt was so rapid . . . --"We're talking about hundreds of pounds of dog poop in some yards. We've been pretty knee-deep in the poop this year . . . --"Some people get upset when they realize how much poop is out there. We make sure every crumb, every morsel or speck is picked up." (Pioneer Press)
NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A BABY HATED MILEY CYRUS, BUT LOVED BON JOVI:A little girl in a highchair cried when the MILEY CYRUS song "Party In The U.S.A." came on, but she started dancing when her dad changed it to "Livin' On A Prayer" by BON JOVI. (--Search for "baby hates Miley Cyrus loves Bon Jovi.")http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1930953
#2.) "TOSH.0" VIEWERS SENT IN VIDEOS OF "SURPRISE TRUST FALLS":The show "Tosh.0" asked viewers to send in videos of themselves yelling "trust fall" then falling backward onto unsuspecting people. Victims included a pizza deliveryman and a girl standing next to a pool. (--Search for "Tosh.0 viewer surprise trust falls." The falls start at :20.)http://www.comedycentral.com/videos/index.jhtml?videoId=267720&title=viewer-surprise-trust-falls
FOUR TIPS TO MAKE TAX TIME LESS STRESSFUL:
You've got just over three weeks to get your taxes done. But don't freak out. Here are three tips from real accountants that might make tax season a little less stressful . . .
#1.) YOU PROBABLY DON'T NEED AN ACCOUNTANT. If money's tight, you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars to get your taxes done. --H&R Block's online version guides you through the steps. If you just have a W-2 and you're taking the standard deduction, it's FREE. If your taxes are more complex than that, it ranges in price from $30 to $80 with an additional fee for state taxes.
#2.) DON'T TRY TO DO TOO MUCH. Some people SHOULDN'T do their own taxes. If you have a bunch of 1099's, or you worked in multiple states, use an accountant. Trying to figure it out yourself will drive you crazy. And mistakes can get you audited.
#3.) DON'T SHOW UP WITH A BIG BOX OF RECEIPTS. If you DO decide to go with an accountant, this is the thing they hate most. Don't make them sit there with you and add up every deduction. It takes all day, and it's stressful for both of you. --Do that part while you're sitting at home watching TV. Split the receipts up into categories like "travel expenses" and "home office expenses." Then bring in one piece of paper with all the final numbers on it. Or better yet, put it in a spreadsheet.
#4.) IF YOU'RE STRESSED OUT, JUST FILE AN EXTENSION. It's okay as long as you expect to get a refund. And it gives you until October 15th to get your taxes done. --Just be careful. If you OWE money, you'll be charged interest. But it's usually less than one percent a month. On the other hand, if you don't file your return OR an extension, they'll charge 5% a month and up to 25% of your total balance. (ReadersDigest.com)
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