HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (09-13-10)
THE MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS
LADY GAGA DOMINATED THE VMAS:
DONOVAN MCNABB and the Washington Redskins squeaking past TONY ROMO and the Dallas Cowboys was a Sunday night surprise. LADY GAGA dominating the "MTV Video Music Awards", not so much. --Gaga won EIGHT awards, including Video of the Year for "Bad Romance". --That was the second-biggest haul in VMA history. (--Peter Gabriel won 10 awards for "Sledgehammer" in 1987.)
--Eminem had the second-best haul of the night, with TWO awards. (--He wasn't there to accept. After opening the show with RIHANNA, he bolted for a flight to New York, where he's performing with Jay-Z tonight.) --Either Lady Gaga is a good actress or she's totally oblivious as to how far up her butt the media is . . . because she looked like she was either going to cry or hyperventilate every time she won. --That did yield one funny moment, though, when she accepted the Video of the Year trophy from CHER . . . who was wearing a revealing outfit similar to the one from that old video of hers, "Turn Back Time". --Gaga was wearing approximately her 45th outfit of the night. This one included RAW MEAT. Gaga handed Cher her purse so she could hold the award. And she said, quote, "I never thought I'd be asking Cher to hold my meat purse." --She also revealed that the title of her next album is "Born This Way" . . . and she sang a few lines from the title track. --It went . . . "How beautiful in my way, 'cause God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track baby. I was born this way." --Host CHELSEA HANDLER set the tone for the evening by hitting the stage in a mock-Lady Gaga outfit that included a small HOUSE over her head. --The show opened with an obviously pre-recorded video of Chelsea backstage, being confronted by LINDSAY LOHAN, who told her, quote, "Do you think anyone wants to work with a drunk? Take it from me, they don't!" (--Check it out . . .) http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=e9205059-e2c3-4906-b492-9a92bd363b29
--The other big story of the night, obviously, was TAYLOR SWIFT and KANYE WEST both making their big VMA return. --It would have been BRILLIANT if they'd performed TOGETHER, but that didn't happen. They both sang songs inspired by their infamous meeting at last year's show, however. --Taylor sang a new song called "Innocent", which included such lyrics as, quote, "I guess you really did it this time . . . Lost your balance on a tightrope / Lost your mind trying to get it back . . . --". . . Every one of us has messed up too . . . 32 and still growing up now." --Kanye closed the show with a new track called "Runaway" . . . and his lyrics included a lot of cursing. Then this line . . . quote, "You've been putting up with my (crap) for way too long." --And the chorus included, quote, "Let's have a toast for the (D-bags) / Let's have a toast for the (A-holes) / Let's have a toast for the scumbags." --The crowd even CHANTED "Kanye" when he was done. (--You can see all of the night's performances, and other assorted videos from the night, at the following link. But BE WARNED!!! Some of Kanye's language is NOT EDITED . . .) http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/559918/not-afraid-love-the-way-you-lie-live.jhtml#id=1647212
THE COMPLETE WINNERS LIST:
--Video of the Year: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Collaboration: Lady Gaga featuring Beyoncé, "Telephone"
--Best Female Video: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Male Video: Eminem, "Not Afraid"
--Best New Artist: Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris, "Baby"
--Best Pop Video: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Hip Hop Video: Eminem, "Not Afraid"
--Best Rock Video: 30 Seconds to Mars, "Kings and Queens"
--Best Dance Music Video: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Direction: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Choreography: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Breakthrough Video: The Black Keys, "Tighten Up"
--Best Art Direction: Florence + the Machine, "Dog Days Are Over"
--Best Cinematography: Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, "Empire State of Mind"
--Best Editing: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Special Effects: Muse, "Uprising"
MILEY CYRUS AND LIAM HEMSWORTH LOOK LIKE THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER:
It looks like MILEY CYRUS and LIAM HEMSWORTH are back together. They went out and grabbed some Starbucks in L.A. on Saturday. -A so-called "witness" says, quote, "Miley and Liam kept smiling and seemed to really enjoy their afternoon together. -"They acted like they had missed each other, kept chatting and seemed to be catching up. They definitely seemed like a couple again." -Miley and Liam broke up last month, amid rumors that Miley was messing around with actor Adam Sevani . . . a co-star in her upcoming movie, "LOL: Laughing Out Loud". (--Those rumors were denied, by the way.)
MARIO LOPEZ IS A FATHER NOW:
MARIO LOPEZ is a father. His girlfriend, Courtney Mazza, had a baby girl on Saturday. They named her Gia Francesca Lopez. They actually waited until the delivery to find out the sex of the baby. --Mario said in a statement, quote, "Where else in life do you get such special surprises? I hope with all our kids it will be a surprise." --Mario wrote a book for first-time dads. It'll be out sometime next year.)
DANICA MCKELLAR HAD HER BABY:
DANICA MCKELLAR . . . who will ALWAYS be Winnie Cooper from "The Wonder Years", no matter what else she tries to do . . . had her baby last Tuesday night. (--I guess they did a pretty good job of keeping it a secret.) --It's a boy . . . the first child for Danica and her husband, Mike Verta. Unfortunately for the kid, they DOOMED him with the name Draco. (--Apparently, they did NOT name him after the "Harry Potter" character, Draco Malfoy. He's named after the CONSTELLATION Draco. Draco, by the way, means DRAGON.)
DIVINE BROWN WANTS TO INVITE HUGH GRANT TO HER WEDDING:
DIVINE BROWN . . . the STREET SQUISH that HUGH GRANT was caught patronizing in 1995 . . . is getting married. For real.
-The "lucky" guy is a music producer by the name of Richie Fediccini. They live in Suburban Atlanta and have a 21-month-old daughter. --Anyway . . . Divine says she'd like Hugh to come to the wedding, because he was so instrumental in turning her life around. --A friend says, quote, "Divine said she'd love to see Hugh again to thank him. What better place for a reunion than her marriage? Divine said she'd drop him an invitation in the mail." --Diving spent 180 days in jail and paid a $1,350 fine for servicing Hugh orally. But she went on to make about $1.6 MILLION in media deals, which allowed her to put her two older kids through college. --She says, quote, "I was just trying to pay a few bills that night. Lo and behold, I got a celebrity. I'd agreed to go with him for $50, but ended up with more than ten thousand times that. God has a path for us all."
LIAM NEESON IS DATING AGAIN:
It's been a year-and-a-half since NATASHA RICHARDSON died of a head injury she suffered in a skiing accident. And it looks like her husband, LIAM NEESON, is moving on. --According to the "New York Post", Liam is dating a British businesswoman named Freya St. Johnston. They were spotted last week in both London and New York City. He's 58 . . . she's 36. --She was even seen wearing what looks like a WEDDING BAND on her finger. (--But there's no indication that she and Liam are married or engaged.)
FLOYD MAYWEATHER JR. WAS BOOKED FRIDAY ON A CHARGE OF GRAND LARCENY:
FLOYD MAYWEATHER JR. turned himself in to Las Vegas police on Friday, to face charges that he attacked his ex-girlfriend and baby-mama, Josie Harris. --Floyd was booked on a charge of GRAND LARCENY . . . because he allegedly took an iPhone from her house during the attack. --It's not clear why he wasn't booked on suspicion of domestic violence . . . but various media reports say that cops do want the D.A. to hit him with that charge.
(--And here's video of Floyd leaving the jailhouse after being booked, and IGNORING the paparazzi . . .)
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=802ce7b1-68e2-4d4a-b1e8-1f7a535a35d3
--Meanwhile . . . Harris filed for, and received, a temporary restraining order against Floyd. In her petition, she described the alleged events that took place early Thursday morning. --She said that Floyd entered her house and woke her up by, quote, "pulling me by my hair and throwing me on the ground in my living room and began punching me in my head." --Then she said he started, quote, "dragging me on the floor and twisting my arm back . . . in attempt to try and break it." (--I have to call bull(crap) right there. Whatever else he may or may not have done, I know one thing for sure . . . if Floyd Mayweather Jr. had wanted her arm broken, it WOULD be broken.) --Josie claims that all this violence took place in full view of their three children. And Floyd even THREATENED the kids, saying that if they ran or tried to call the police, he would, quote, "beat them the same way." --He also threatened to, quote, "kill me and my boyfriend and make sure we are taken care of." --Apparently, this new boyfriend of Josie's was the problem. She says that Floyd was at her house two hours before the alleged attack, yelling at her about the guy.
BRITNEY GETS SUPPORT FROM ANOTHER FORMER BODYGUARD:
One of BRITNEY SPEARS' other former bodyguards says he saw NOTHING out of the ordinary when he worked for Britney from 2007 to 2008. --Mark Chinapen tells E! News, quote, "In our time with Britney, we've never seen anything in a negative sense. If there was an issue, we would have said something to her or to authorities when it came to the kids' safety." --He added that his time with Britney was, quote, "very normal. Starbucks runs, going for lunch, driving, shopping, buying clothes, and going out to events. That's it."
(--You can hear Mark's account firsthand, here . . .)
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b199890_mamma_mia_this_britney_bodyguard_says.html
KEVIN FEDERLINE IS BACK, YO!!!
It is time to rejoice. KEVIN FEDERLINE'S self-imposed hiatus from public life is about to end. --Kevin's rep says, quote, "Kevin has lost 25 pounds and is working on getting back into top shape. --"He can't wait to start acting and dancing again and going on auditions next year."
--By the way . . . your man K-Fed is still dating that volleyball minx, Victoria Prince. His rep says, quote, "Kevin and Victoria are really doing great." --Things are not necessarily that great with Britney, though . . . quote, "Although he and Britney don't talk much, they are co-parenting as best they can and working together to make the best decisions for their boys."
SPENCER PRATT WAS ARRESTED IN COSTA RICA:
Professional attention whore SPENCER PRATT was arrested for felony firearms possession while trying to leave Costa Rica on Saturday. --He was released after he gave up his weapons and signed a confession. --He issued a statement saying, quote, "As part of my spiritual cleansing I've spent the last week living alone in the jungle, reflecting on my past transgressions, and working to become a better person. --"I had to live off the land, and hunt to survive. As I departed the country this morning to continue my spiritual journey, I mistakenly brought my hunting weapons to the airport. It was an honest mistake, and they sent me on my way. --"On an unrelated note, I'm not allowed in the country anymore . . . but that's because of the chicken incident."
IT'S ON!!! BETWEEN ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER AND SARAH PALIN:
It wasn't too long ago that people were looking at ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER as the possible future of the Republican Party. But now, that title has clearly been passed on to SARAH PALIN. --Perhaps it was jealousy, then, that motivated Arnold to fire a shot at Sarah last week. But whatever the motive, it is now clear that IT'S ON!!! --While flying over Alaska this past Thursday, Arnold Tweeted, quote, "Over Anchorage, AK. Looking everywhere but can't see Russia from here. Will keep you updated as search continues." --On Friday, Sarah returned fire. She Tweeted, quote, "Arnold should have landed; I could have explained our multi-billion dollar state surplus & energy security efforts. What's he been up to?" (--What he's been up to is leading California to a $19 BILLION deficit. Thus the effectiveness of that jab. Your move, Arnold.)
MICHAEL RICHARDS IS BEING SUED FOR BEATING UP A PHOTOGRAPHER:
MICHAEL RICHARDS is being sued for allegedly beating down a paparazzi scumbag in Los Angeles last month. --Brendon O'Neal claims Richards knocked him to the ground and then kicked him numerous times. He's suing for medical expenses and unspecified damages. --There's no word what prompted the ALLEGED beating.
"INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS" STAR KEVIN MCCARTHY HAS DIED:
If you're a sci-fi nut, this is a sad day for you. KEVIN MCCARTHY . . . star of the original, 1956 version of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" . . . died over the weekend. He was 96, and he died, not surprisingly, of natural causes. --McCarthy was also in the original "Piranha" and the remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" . . . both of which came out in 1978. (--Here are some CLASSIC clips of Kevin McCarthy from the original "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" . . . in which he's trying to warn the other FOOLISH HUMANS that the pod people are HERE!!! . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRVfGMjdGh8 --You may also remember him from the classic "Twilight Zone" episode, "Long Live Walter Jameson", in which he played an immortal professor who wishes he could die. (--Here's a clip. He says he wants to die after the 5:20 mark . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxPKJzwDpjs
THE TOP-EARNING COMEDIANS
JEFF DUNHAM AND DANE COOK ARE THE TOP-EARNING COMEDIANS:
Forbes.com has released a list of the Top-Earning Comedians. These are comics who make the bulk of their living doing STANDUP. --That disqualifies people like JERRY SEINFELD . . . because even though he's made $75 MILLION over the past year, most of it came from "Seinfeld" reruns.
--The same goes for JAY LENO and CONAN O'BRIEN.
--Fellow late-night host CHELSEA HANDLER DID make the list . . . at #4. She made $19 million last year . . . but she made twice as much on the road than she did as host of "Chelsea Lately".
--Topping this year's list is ventriloquist JEFF DUNHAM, with $22.5 million. He's followed by DANE COOK with $21 million.
--At #3 is yet another ventriloquist, TERRY FATOR. He's the guy whose puppets do impressions of famous singers. He was the Season 2 winner of "America's Got Talent" . . . and he made $20 million over the past year.
#1.) JEFF DUNHAM, $22.5 million
#2.) DANE COOK, $21 million
#3.) TERRY FATOR, $20 million
#4.) CHELSEA HANDLER, $19 million
#5.) GEORGE LOPEZ, $18 million
#6.) LARRY THE CABLE GUY, $16.5 million
#7.) RUSSELL PETERS, $15 million
#8.) (tie) JEFF FOXWORTHY and HOWIE MANDEL, $11 million
#10.) BILL ENGVALL, $10.5 million
(--Check out the slideshow here . . .)
http://www.forbes.com/2010/09/07/handler-dunham-cook-fator-business-entertainment-top-earning-comedians_slide_2.html
"RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE" OPENED AT #1:
The fourth "Resident Evil" film earned $27.7 million in its first weekend to open at #1 at the box office. That makes "Afterlife" the highest-grossing opening weekend for any of the "Resident Evil" flicks. --That's also better than any other zombie movie's first week take, surpassing the $26.7 million opening weekend that "Dawn of the Dead" had back in 2004.
--Here are the Top 10 movies . . .
1.) (NEW) "Resident Evil: Afterlife", $27.7 million
2.) "Takers", $6.1 million (--Up to $48.1 million in its 3rd week.)
3.) George Clooney's assassin flick "The American", $5.9 million (--Up to $26.7 million in its 2nd week.)
ARETHA FRANKLIN WANTS HALLE BERRY TO PLAY HER IN A MOVIE:
There's a movie in the works about ARETHA FRANKLIN. It'll be based on her autobiography, "Aretha: From These Roots" . . . which came out in 1999. --Aretha will be reviewing the script next week, and she has some suggestions for the casting department. --She wants HALLE BERRY to play her . . . at least a younger version of her. And she wants DENZEL WASHINGTON to play her father, who was a Baptist minister and civil rights leader in Detroit. --She'd also like to snag TERRENCE HOWARD to play Motown legend SMOKEY ROBINSON. (--Aretha has never been shy about her admiration for Terrence Howard. In 2006, she said, quote, "Twenty years ago, I would have hustled and flowed with him. He sure is fine!) --In a press release, Aretha says that all three of her picks are, quote, "enthusiastic about the project and have agreed to take on these roles, subject to further negotiation."
WILL FERRELL IS WORKING ON A MOVIE THAT WILL BE IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBTITLES:
WILL FERRELL is working on a movie that'll be in SPANISH, with English subtitles. It's called "Casa de mi padre" . . . which, if my limited knowledge of Spanish serves, translates to "House of My Father". (???) --There's no word on the plot, but the movie will be done in the overly-dramatic style of the "telenovela" . . . which is a style of soap opera popular in Latin America. --The cast also includes GAEL GARCIA BERNAL and DIEGO LUNA . . . who starred together in the 2001 Mexican flick "Y tu mama tambien".
STEVE-O SAYS EVERYTHING ON "JACKASS 3D" WAS MORE PAINFUL . . . BECAUSE HE WAS SOBER:
For STEVE-O, there's a downside to being sober: It made filming "Jackass 3D" a lot more painful. He says, quote, "Being clear-headed and sober makes it more painful, more scary and the first thing I say is, 'I'm Steve-O, why do I have to be Steve-O?'" --But he adds, quote, "It was a totally different me and it was a real blessing to do that." (--"Jackass 3D" opens October 15th.)
SIMON COWELL HAS CALLED LOU REED'S ALLEGED SUSAN BOYLE REJECTION PETTY AND PATHETIC:
It's kind of unclear whether LOU REED PERSONALLY refused to give SUSAN BOYLE permission to perform his song, "Perfect Day" on "America's Got Talent" last week. --But SIMON COWELL believes he did. And he told TMZ that Reed's actions were, quote, "petty, so pathetic." --He added, quote, "Loads of people have covered this song. Well Lou, if you're listening to this, do we have permission, yes or no, to put the song on 'America's Got Talent' next week? [It's a] personal request from me." --In a separate interview with British radio, Simon explained, quote, "Two hours before [Susan] is going to perform it we get a phone call. Lou Reed will not allow her to sing 'Perfect Day'." (--Simon is one of the show's executive producers.) (--Susan ended up bailing on the performance altogether . . . because "Perfect Day" was the only song she had prepared.) --But last week, before Simon even made these comments, Lou's reps denied that he blocked the performance. Instead, they said they received the request too late, and the paperwork couldn't be cleared in time to make it happen. (--You can listen to a partial recording of Susan covering "Perfect Day" . . . which will reportedly appear on her next album, here . . .) http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_audio/091010_susan_boyle_PerfectDay_32.mp3
AND NOW . . . THERE WILL BE AN "AMERICA'S GOT TALENT" TOUR:
There's magnificent news today for fans of REALITY SHOW TOURS. --"America's Got Talent" is getting its first post-season tour, which will probably be similar to the ones "American Idol" and "So You Think You Can Dance" have been doing for years. --Deadline.com reports that the tour will launch on October 1st . . . and will be emceed by former "America's Got Talent" host JERRY SPRINGER. -The tour will likely include all the performers that made it to the Final Round of the current season. There aren't any official details yet . . . so there's no word on an itinerary. (--The fifth season finale will air this Wednesday.)
NBC WON'T BE REPLACING STEVE CARELL ANY TIME SOON:
As you've probably heard, STEVE CARELL is leaving "The Office" after this season. There's probably going to be a lot of talk . . . off and on . . . about who will replace him, but it sounds like nothing will be official for a LONG TIME. --"Sources" tell the "Hollywood Reporter" that no decision is expected until AFTER the season ends . . . meaning that it's at least eight months away. (--So keep that in mind the next time we hear a rumor about who will be replacing him.)
ROGER EBERT IS REVIVING "AT THE MOVIES" . . . AND HE'LL APPEAR ON IT, EVEN THOUGH HE CAN NO LONGER SPEAK:
ROGER EBERT has announced that he's re-launching his old movie review show, "At the Movies" . . . which was canceled earlier this year . . . and he'll appear on it, despite the fact that he can no longer talk. (--Roger lost his voice a few years ago after a series of operations to remove cancer from his thyroid and salivary gland. He also lost part of his jaw. Since then, he's used a computerized voice system to communicate.) (--He stopped appearing on "At the Movies" in 2006.) --It'll be called "Roger Ebert Presents At the Movies". Roger won't be doing the thumbs-up / thumbs-down thing anymore . . . instead, that will be done by the two new hosts: Christy Lemire from the Associated Press and NPR critic Elvis Mitchell. --Roger will appear in a feature called "Roger's Office," in which he'll discuss new, classic and overlooked movies using his computerized voice. --The new show will premiere on PBS in January.
"GLEE" IS DOING A TRIBUTE TO "ROCKY HORROR" . . . AND SOME OF THE ORIGINAL STARS WILL MAKE CAMEOS:
"Glee" is doing a tribute to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", and two cast members from the original movie . . . MEAT LOAF and BARRY BOSTWICK . . . will make cameos on the episode. (--Meat Loaf played Eddie in "Rocky Horror". Barry was Brad Majors.) --There aren't many details yet. But so-called "insiders" tell E! Online that Meat and Barry will appear as "TV station managers who have an 'interesting proposal'" for JANE LYNCH'S character, Sue Sylvester. (--There's no word what that is.) --SUSAN SARANDON . . . who also starred in the movie . . . has said that she'd be interested in appearing on the episode, but there's no indication that that's happening yet. "Glee's" "Rocky Horror" tribute will air on October 26th.
MONDAY TV REMINDERS: (--Check your local listings.)
--"Monday Night Football" [41st Season Premiere] . . . 7:00 to 10:15 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The New York Jets host the Baltimore Ravens at New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey.)
--"Monday Night Football" . . . 10:15 P.M. to 1:15 A.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The Kansas City Chiefs host the San Diego Chargers at Arrowhead Stadium.)
--"90210" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW.
--"Bachelor Pad" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"Gossip Girl" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW.
--"Lie to Me" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.
--"The Closer" [6th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TNT.
--"The 19th Wife" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Lifetime. (--Patricia Wettig from "Brothers & Sisters" plays a Mormon wife who leans on her excommunicated son when she is accused of killing her polygamous husband.)
--"The Day Before" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Sundance. (--A look at Jeremy Scott's New York fashion show preparations.)
--"Dating In the Dark" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"Rizzolie & Isles" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TNT.)
THE 100 WORST SONGS EVER:
AOL Radio has put out a list of the 100 Worst Songs Ever . . . and in a shocking development, the #1 worst song was NOT "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by BAHA MEN. --Instead, the top honors went to "Jersey Shore" moron DJ PAULY D for his song "(It's Time to) Beat Dat Beat". (???) "Who Let the Dogs Out?" was #2. (--They did not say HOW they came up with the list.)
--Here's the Top 10:
#1.) "(It's Time to) Beat Dat Beat", DJ PAULY D
#2.) "Who Let the Dogs Out", BAHA MEN
#3.) "Ice Ice Baby", VANILLA ICE
#4.) "She Bangs", RICKY MARTIN
#5.) "Barbie Girl", AQUA
#6.) "U Can't Touch This", MC HAMMER
#7.) "I Am Woman", HELEN REDDY
#8.) "I'm Too Sexy", RIGHT SAID FRED
#9.) "Ebony and Ivory", PAUL MCCARTNEY and STEVIE WONDER
#10.) "Macarena", LOS DEL RIO
(--You can check out the complete list . . . along with audio of each song, beginning here . . .)
http://www.aolradioblog.com/2010/09/11/worst-songs/?icid=mainmaindl2sec1_lnk3169800
LINKIN PARK IS STREAMING THEIR NEW ALBUM ON MYSPACE:
LINKIN PARK'S new album, "A Thousand Suns", hits stores TOMORROW . . . but it's streaming on their MySpace page NOW. (--If you want to check it out, hit up the link below. ***WARNING***: It's NOT censored.)
http://www.myspace.com/linkinpark/music/albums/a-thousand-suns
--As far as we can tell, you only have the option of listening to the album as a single, nearly 48-minute track. And that's probably how the band intended it. --MIKE SHINODA recently said, quote, "We want people to know that the record is, you know, something that if you listen to it from beginning to end you'll get something extra out of it."
DAVID LEE ROTH SAYS WE'LL HEAR FROM VAN HALEN SOON:
DAVID LEE ROTH recently told a fan site blogger that we'll be hearing from VAN HALEN "in the next seven to eight months." -We assume that means we'll be hearing some NEW MUSIC in seven to eight months . . . but he didn't actually say that.
JOHNNY ROTTEN HAS SETTLED THINGS WITH A FEMALE ASSISTANT HE ALLEGEDLY PUNCHED:
A former female assistant sued JOHNNY ROTTEN of the SEX PISTOLS two years ago, claiming that he called her an "(effing) (C-word)" . . . and PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE. (--That's the dirty C-word that rhymes with "stunt".) --Supposedly, he was angry because he wasn't happy with a hotel room that she'd booked for him . . . at a Ritz-Carlton. --Well, now she's dropped the lawsuit . . . and her attorney says the situation has been, quote, "satisfactorily settled." (--We have no idea what that means, but it sure sounds like Johnny shelled out some money to make this go away.)
LADY GAGA AND HER FORMER PRODUCER HAVE CALLED A TRUCE:
Earlier this year, LADY GAGA and her former producer, songwriting partner, and boyfriend Rob Fusari filed lawsuits against each other. Fusari sued Gaga for $30.5 million, and she filed a countersuit the next day. -Well, apparently it's been resolved. They issued a joint statement saying they had, quote, "agreed to end their dispute amicably and wish each other well. There will be no further comment." --If there was a financial settlement, there's no word what it was. (--Among other things, Fusari claimed he helped name and create the "Lady Gaga" character.)
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
THE WAIST SIZE ON YOUR PANTS IS PROBABLY TRICKING YOU INTO THINKING YOU'RE SKINNIER THAN YOU ARE:
Turns out there's a pretty big difference between having a 36-inch waist and wearing size 36 pants. --"Esquire" magazine compared pants labeled with 36-inch waists from different stores and manufacturers, and found that NONE of them were actually 36 inches around. All of them were bigger. Here's how they broke down.
--H&M, 37 inches.
--Calvin Klein, 38.5 inches.
--Alfani, 38.5 inches.
--Gap, 39 inches.
--Haggar, 39 inches.
--Dockers, 39.5 inches.
--Old Navy, 41 inches. (!!!)
--The reason for this is pretty obvious . . . clothing manufacturers want you to feel good about the waist size you're squeezing into, and make you more likely to actually buy their pants. (Chicago Sun-Times)
THE WOMAN WITH THE WORLD'S LARGEST BREAST IMPLANTS HAD THEM REMOVED:
30-year-old Sheyla Hershey of Richmond, Texas, has finally learned that traveling to South America to get gigantic, black market breast implants may NOT have been the smartest decision in the world. --In June, Sheyla wanted to have the largest fake breasts in the world. No doctor in the U.S. would give her the implants she wanted. So she returned to her home country of Brazil and had M-CUP IMPLANTS put into her chest. --Almost immediately, she started having health problems. Fevers. Strep throat. Staph infections. And it became clear that she'd need to get the implants removed to save her life. --Last week, doctors in Texas were able to successfully remove the implants. Unfortunately for Sheyla, in the process, they had to remove a lot of her genuine breast tissue too, because it was too damaged to save. --The surgeons say they were able to save just enough tissue that, in three or four months, once Sheyla has healed, they can try to reconstruct her breasts. This time, to a more reasonable size. --Sheyla says that she's good with that. She said, quote, "Even though I love to have huge breasts, I don't know why, I'm just addicted to it, I'm going to try to live without [them] . . . I realize that my family comes first." --Before she had the M-cup implants installed, Sheyla had previous surgeries to make herself a 34FFF cup, then a 38KKK cup, then a 51KKK. (My Fox Houston)
WHY HASN'T PRESIDENT OBAMA BEEN WEARING HIS WEDDING RING?
Last week, PRESIDENT OBAMA stopped wearing his wedding ring. --But no, it's not because he and MICHELLE are having problems . . .
--According to a White House spokesperson, Obama's wedding band was broken and needed to be repaired. They didn't give any details about how it was broken. --Obama's ring is described as a, quote, "thick, carved gold band from Indonesia." Obama lived in Indonesia from ages six to 10. (--Which is when he learned how to be a Muslim communist healthcare-rationing dictator, of course.) --There's no word on when Obama's going to get his ring back. --Michelle has showed up without her ring in public from time to time, but usually it's a fashion thing. At her husband's inaugural ball she left her wedding ring at home and wore a larger silver cocktail ring that matched her earrings instead. (ABC News)
A MAN AND WOMAN TRIED TO SIPHON GAS OUT OF A SALVATION ARMY VAN AND CAUGHT ON FIRE:
INSTANT JUSTICE has been served! --Last week, in Tacoma, Washington, a man and woman were trying to siphon gas out of a Salvation Army van. They haven't been named . . . all we know is that the woman is 20 years old. --Anyway, they should've known that the universe doesn't take kindly to people stealing from the Salvation Army . . . and karma decided to give the two some swift, decisive retribution. -According to an eyewitness, as they sucked gasoline out of the van's tank, somehow, a FIRE erupted. Police still don't know what caused the fire. --The man caught on fire. The woman caught on fire. The van also caught on fire. --The woman ran toward the witness, who told her to STOP, DROP and ROLL. For some reason she refused. So the witness found a garden hose and doused her until the fire went out. --Meanwhile, the male thief managed to put out his own flames and run away. The woman was taken to the hospital, and she's looking at charges for the gas theft and setting the van on fire. The police are still looking for the man. (Bellingham Herald)
NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A VIDEO CALLED "INCEPTION CAT" HAS BEEN VIEWED OVER TWO MILLION TIMES:
Somebody recorded their cat slowly coming into view on the other side of a window . . . then added dramatic music from the movie "Inception". That's it. But the resulting YouTube video has been viewed over 2 million times.
(--Search for "Inception Cat." The cat's head pops up at :16.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLDSE7RHvno
#2.) A CAT ADOPTED A BABY SQUIRREL . . . AND IT LEARNED HOW TO PURR:
After a baby squirrel fell out of a tree in Mississippi, a woman put it in a box with a litter of kittens, and the mother accepted it. Now the squirrel acts just like a kitten, and it even PURRS. (--Search for "Mississippi baby squirrel learns to purr." They show the squirrel for the first time at :45, and it purrs at 2:00.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBb7gdF2Gf4
#3.) AND NOW . . . A DANCING POODLE:
If stupid videos about cats isn't your thing, there's a dancing poodle you might enjoy. We highly recommend using the magic of 'The Benny Hillifier,' which adds the Benny Hill theme to any video. (--Search for "dancing poodle StupidVideos.com.")
http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/animals/Dancing_Poodle_1/
http://bennyhillifier.com/?id=j7bVtNW23WU
FIVE CO-WORKERS YOU SHOULDN'T BECOME FRIENDS WITH:
Recent studies have shown that having friends at work builds morale and increases productivity. But here's a list from LemonDrop.com of co-workers you SHOULDN'T become friends with . . .
#1.) THE OFFICE DO-GOODER. You'll end up helping with every canned-food drive and office birthday party . . . which will affect your work and stress you out.
#2.) THE PESSIMIST. For obvious reasons, it'll be depressing. But you'll also have to worry about your BOSS. He might assume YOU have a bad attitude because YOUR FRIEND has a bad attitude.
#3.) THE WEIRDO. We're not sure what they mean by this one, because what if you work somewhere where everyone's weird? Like a radio station? --Anyway, their advice is to not avoid the person completely, because you don't want to get on the bad side of an unstable co-worker. But maybe you should dodge their invitation to poker night.
#4.) THE OFFICE GOSSIP. If they're gossiping about other people, they're gossiping about you too. Don't become friends with someone if you KNOW you can't trust them.
#5.) THE PERSON WHO BRINGS DONUTS EVERY DAY . . . BUT DOESN'T EAT ANY. They might be a control freak, which isn't necessarily a BAD thing. --But at the same time, the main character in "Dexter" brings donuts to work every day . . . and HE'S a serial killer. (LemonDrop.com)
SITE FOR SORE EYES:
http://myskillsmyfuture.org
The U.S. Department of Labor has launched this website to help those looking for a job. Just enter your current or previous job and it will match your skills to new careers and let you know what training is necessary to transition from one job to another. The “My Skills My Future” site also has links to view local job openings and find training and education providers. Job seekers can find descriptions, salary information and common job tasks associated with a new occupation.
Workplace Annoyances
A new Office Team survey asked American workers what their top workplace break room annoyances were. While 7% answered “nothing” bothers them about their break room at work, others had a difference of opinion.
Making a mess for others to clean up 44%
Stealing food from a co-worker 19%
Leaving old/spoiled food in the refrigerator 18%
Eating food that stinks up the office 5%
KFC Brings Back The Colonel
KFC has launched an online and social media blitz aimed at introducing its once-iconic founder to the latest generation of consumers. The company launched the campaign on Facebook, Twitter and other online sites last week to coincide with what would have been Colonel Harland Sanders’ 120th birthday. More than 60% of Americans 18 to 25 couldn’t identify Colonel Sanders in the KFC logo. Even worse, 50% believe he’s a made-up icon, and 30% don’t have a clue who he was. Now, KFC’s trying to paint a new picture – and they’re asking consumers to paint it for them. Through September 30th, artists can upload their sketches of the colonel at www.kfc.com/portrait. The winning artist will receive $1,100 – $100 for each of the 11 herbs and spices used for the Colonel’s Original Recipe chicken.
America’s 10 Worst Weather Cities
Syracuse, New York, and Miami, Florida, top a list of cities named by the Farmers’ Almanac as America’s worst weather cities. The Farmers’ Almanac’s 10 Worst Weather Cities appears in the 194-year-old publication’s 2011 edition. Topping the list of cities with the worst winter weather is Syracuse, New York, for its “cold, clammy, snowy” weather and bitterly cold temperatures. The city averages almost 120 inches of snow per season. Rounding out the worst winter locales:
2. Duluth, Minnesota, with January temperatures averaging in at a mere 16°F.
3. Casper, Wyoming, with an average of 181 days of sub-freezing temperatures each year.
4. Cleveland, Ohio, with bone-chilling winds sweeping down off of Lake Erie.
5. Detroit, Michigan, where two out of every three winter days are overcast.
Topping the list of cities with the worst summer weather is Miami, Florida. Miami’s subtropical climate becomes excessively hot and humid during the summer months. Add to that the fact that it is right in the line of fire for most tropical storm and hurricane activity, and its frequent thunderstorms, with an average of 44 inches of rainfall each summer. Rounding out the worst summer locales:
2. New Orleans, Louisiana, for its high humidity and frequent tropical storms.
3. Dallas, Texas, for its hot as hell temperatures well over 100°F and frequent tornadoes.
4. Mobile, Alabama, which sees temperatures above 90°F on two out of three days in the summer, and average humidity levels between 60% and 70%.
5. Corpus Christi, Texas, where late afternoon temperatures peak around 94°F during summer months.
LADY GAGA DOMINATED THE VMAS:
DONOVAN MCNABB and the Washington Redskins squeaking past TONY ROMO and the Dallas Cowboys was a Sunday night surprise. LADY GAGA dominating the "MTV Video Music Awards", not so much. --Gaga won EIGHT awards, including Video of the Year for "Bad Romance". --That was the second-biggest haul in VMA history. (--Peter Gabriel won 10 awards for "Sledgehammer" in 1987.)
--Eminem had the second-best haul of the night, with TWO awards. (--He wasn't there to accept. After opening the show with RIHANNA, he bolted for a flight to New York, where he's performing with Jay-Z tonight.) --Either Lady Gaga is a good actress or she's totally oblivious as to how far up her butt the media is . . . because she looked like she was either going to cry or hyperventilate every time she won. --That did yield one funny moment, though, when she accepted the Video of the Year trophy from CHER . . . who was wearing a revealing outfit similar to the one from that old video of hers, "Turn Back Time". --Gaga was wearing approximately her 45th outfit of the night. This one included RAW MEAT. Gaga handed Cher her purse so she could hold the award. And she said, quote, "I never thought I'd be asking Cher to hold my meat purse." --She also revealed that the title of her next album is "Born This Way" . . . and she sang a few lines from the title track. --It went . . . "How beautiful in my way, 'cause God makes no mistakes. I'm on the right track baby. I was born this way." --Host CHELSEA HANDLER set the tone for the evening by hitting the stage in a mock-Lady Gaga outfit that included a small HOUSE over her head. --The show opened with an obviously pre-recorded video of Chelsea backstage, being confronted by LINDSAY LOHAN, who told her, quote, "Do you think anyone wants to work with a drunk? Take it from me, they don't!" (--Check it out . . .) http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=e9205059-e2c3-4906-b492-9a92bd363b29
--The other big story of the night, obviously, was TAYLOR SWIFT and KANYE WEST both making their big VMA return. --It would have been BRILLIANT if they'd performed TOGETHER, but that didn't happen. They both sang songs inspired by their infamous meeting at last year's show, however. --Taylor sang a new song called "Innocent", which included such lyrics as, quote, "I guess you really did it this time . . . Lost your balance on a tightrope / Lost your mind trying to get it back . . . --". . . Every one of us has messed up too . . . 32 and still growing up now." --Kanye closed the show with a new track called "Runaway" . . . and his lyrics included a lot of cursing. Then this line . . . quote, "You've been putting up with my (crap) for way too long." --And the chorus included, quote, "Let's have a toast for the (D-bags) / Let's have a toast for the (A-holes) / Let's have a toast for the scumbags." --The crowd even CHANTED "Kanye" when he was done. (--You can see all of the night's performances, and other assorted videos from the night, at the following link. But BE WARNED!!! Some of Kanye's language is NOT EDITED . . .) http://www.mtv.com/videos/misc/559918/not-afraid-love-the-way-you-lie-live.jhtml#id=1647212
THE COMPLETE WINNERS LIST:
--Video of the Year: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Collaboration: Lady Gaga featuring Beyoncé, "Telephone"
--Best Female Video: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Male Video: Eminem, "Not Afraid"
--Best New Artist: Justin Bieber featuring Ludacris, "Baby"
--Best Pop Video: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Hip Hop Video: Eminem, "Not Afraid"
--Best Rock Video: 30 Seconds to Mars, "Kings and Queens"
--Best Dance Music Video: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Direction: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Choreography: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Breakthrough Video: The Black Keys, "Tighten Up"
--Best Art Direction: Florence + the Machine, "Dog Days Are Over"
--Best Cinematography: Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, "Empire State of Mind"
--Best Editing: Lady Gaga, "Bad Romance"
--Best Special Effects: Muse, "Uprising"
MILEY CYRUS AND LIAM HEMSWORTH LOOK LIKE THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER:
It looks like MILEY CYRUS and LIAM HEMSWORTH are back together. They went out and grabbed some Starbucks in L.A. on Saturday. -A so-called "witness" says, quote, "Miley and Liam kept smiling and seemed to really enjoy their afternoon together. -"They acted like they had missed each other, kept chatting and seemed to be catching up. They definitely seemed like a couple again." -Miley and Liam broke up last month, amid rumors that Miley was messing around with actor Adam Sevani . . . a co-star in her upcoming movie, "LOL: Laughing Out Loud". (--Those rumors were denied, by the way.)
MARIO LOPEZ IS A FATHER NOW:
MARIO LOPEZ is a father. His girlfriend, Courtney Mazza, had a baby girl on Saturday. They named her Gia Francesca Lopez. They actually waited until the delivery to find out the sex of the baby. --Mario said in a statement, quote, "Where else in life do you get such special surprises? I hope with all our kids it will be a surprise." --Mario wrote a book for first-time dads. It'll be out sometime next year.)
DANICA MCKELLAR HAD HER BABY:
DANICA MCKELLAR . . . who will ALWAYS be Winnie Cooper from "The Wonder Years", no matter what else she tries to do . . . had her baby last Tuesday night. (--I guess they did a pretty good job of keeping it a secret.) --It's a boy . . . the first child for Danica and her husband, Mike Verta. Unfortunately for the kid, they DOOMED him with the name Draco. (--Apparently, they did NOT name him after the "Harry Potter" character, Draco Malfoy. He's named after the CONSTELLATION Draco. Draco, by the way, means DRAGON.)
DIVINE BROWN WANTS TO INVITE HUGH GRANT TO HER WEDDING:
DIVINE BROWN . . . the STREET SQUISH that HUGH GRANT was caught patronizing in 1995 . . . is getting married. For real.
-The "lucky" guy is a music producer by the name of Richie Fediccini. They live in Suburban Atlanta and have a 21-month-old daughter. --Anyway . . . Divine says she'd like Hugh to come to the wedding, because he was so instrumental in turning her life around. --A friend says, quote, "Divine said she'd love to see Hugh again to thank him. What better place for a reunion than her marriage? Divine said she'd drop him an invitation in the mail." --Diving spent 180 days in jail and paid a $1,350 fine for servicing Hugh orally. But she went on to make about $1.6 MILLION in media deals, which allowed her to put her two older kids through college. --She says, quote, "I was just trying to pay a few bills that night. Lo and behold, I got a celebrity. I'd agreed to go with him for $50, but ended up with more than ten thousand times that. God has a path for us all."
LIAM NEESON IS DATING AGAIN:
It's been a year-and-a-half since NATASHA RICHARDSON died of a head injury she suffered in a skiing accident. And it looks like her husband, LIAM NEESON, is moving on. --According to the "New York Post", Liam is dating a British businesswoman named Freya St. Johnston. They were spotted last week in both London and New York City. He's 58 . . . she's 36. --She was even seen wearing what looks like a WEDDING BAND on her finger. (--But there's no indication that she and Liam are married or engaged.)
FLOYD MAYWEATHER JR. WAS BOOKED FRIDAY ON A CHARGE OF GRAND LARCENY:
FLOYD MAYWEATHER JR. turned himself in to Las Vegas police on Friday, to face charges that he attacked his ex-girlfriend and baby-mama, Josie Harris. --Floyd was booked on a charge of GRAND LARCENY . . . because he allegedly took an iPhone from her house during the attack. --It's not clear why he wasn't booked on suspicion of domestic violence . . . but various media reports say that cops do want the D.A. to hit him with that charge.
(--And here's video of Floyd leaving the jailhouse after being booked, and IGNORING the paparazzi . . .)
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=802ce7b1-68e2-4d4a-b1e8-1f7a535a35d3
--Meanwhile . . . Harris filed for, and received, a temporary restraining order against Floyd. In her petition, she described the alleged events that took place early Thursday morning. --She said that Floyd entered her house and woke her up by, quote, "pulling me by my hair and throwing me on the ground in my living room and began punching me in my head." --Then she said he started, quote, "dragging me on the floor and twisting my arm back . . . in attempt to try and break it." (--I have to call bull(crap) right there. Whatever else he may or may not have done, I know one thing for sure . . . if Floyd Mayweather Jr. had wanted her arm broken, it WOULD be broken.) --Josie claims that all this violence took place in full view of their three children. And Floyd even THREATENED the kids, saying that if they ran or tried to call the police, he would, quote, "beat them the same way." --He also threatened to, quote, "kill me and my boyfriend and make sure we are taken care of." --Apparently, this new boyfriend of Josie's was the problem. She says that Floyd was at her house two hours before the alleged attack, yelling at her about the guy.
BRITNEY GETS SUPPORT FROM ANOTHER FORMER BODYGUARD:
One of BRITNEY SPEARS' other former bodyguards says he saw NOTHING out of the ordinary when he worked for Britney from 2007 to 2008. --Mark Chinapen tells E! News, quote, "In our time with Britney, we've never seen anything in a negative sense. If there was an issue, we would have said something to her or to authorities when it came to the kids' safety." --He added that his time with Britney was, quote, "very normal. Starbucks runs, going for lunch, driving, shopping, buying clothes, and going out to events. That's it."
(--You can hear Mark's account firsthand, here . . .)
http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b199890_mamma_mia_this_britney_bodyguard_says.html
KEVIN FEDERLINE IS BACK, YO!!!
It is time to rejoice. KEVIN FEDERLINE'S self-imposed hiatus from public life is about to end. --Kevin's rep says, quote, "Kevin has lost 25 pounds and is working on getting back into top shape. --"He can't wait to start acting and dancing again and going on auditions next year."
--By the way . . . your man K-Fed is still dating that volleyball minx, Victoria Prince. His rep says, quote, "Kevin and Victoria are really doing great." --Things are not necessarily that great with Britney, though . . . quote, "Although he and Britney don't talk much, they are co-parenting as best they can and working together to make the best decisions for their boys."
SPENCER PRATT WAS ARRESTED IN COSTA RICA:
Professional attention whore SPENCER PRATT was arrested for felony firearms possession while trying to leave Costa Rica on Saturday. --He was released after he gave up his weapons and signed a confession. --He issued a statement saying, quote, "As part of my spiritual cleansing I've spent the last week living alone in the jungle, reflecting on my past transgressions, and working to become a better person. --"I had to live off the land, and hunt to survive. As I departed the country this morning to continue my spiritual journey, I mistakenly brought my hunting weapons to the airport. It was an honest mistake, and they sent me on my way. --"On an unrelated note, I'm not allowed in the country anymore . . . but that's because of the chicken incident."
IT'S ON!!! BETWEEN ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER AND SARAH PALIN:
It wasn't too long ago that people were looking at ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER as the possible future of the Republican Party. But now, that title has clearly been passed on to SARAH PALIN. --Perhaps it was jealousy, then, that motivated Arnold to fire a shot at Sarah last week. But whatever the motive, it is now clear that IT'S ON!!! --While flying over Alaska this past Thursday, Arnold Tweeted, quote, "Over Anchorage, AK. Looking everywhere but can't see Russia from here. Will keep you updated as search continues." --On Friday, Sarah returned fire. She Tweeted, quote, "Arnold should have landed; I could have explained our multi-billion dollar state surplus & energy security efforts. What's he been up to?" (--What he's been up to is leading California to a $19 BILLION deficit. Thus the effectiveness of that jab. Your move, Arnold.)
MICHAEL RICHARDS IS BEING SUED FOR BEATING UP A PHOTOGRAPHER:
MICHAEL RICHARDS is being sued for allegedly beating down a paparazzi scumbag in Los Angeles last month. --Brendon O'Neal claims Richards knocked him to the ground and then kicked him numerous times. He's suing for medical expenses and unspecified damages. --There's no word what prompted the ALLEGED beating.
"INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS" STAR KEVIN MCCARTHY HAS DIED:
If you're a sci-fi nut, this is a sad day for you. KEVIN MCCARTHY . . . star of the original, 1956 version of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" . . . died over the weekend. He was 96, and he died, not surprisingly, of natural causes. --McCarthy was also in the original "Piranha" and the remake of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" . . . both of which came out in 1978. (--Here are some CLASSIC clips of Kevin McCarthy from the original "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" . . . in which he's trying to warn the other FOOLISH HUMANS that the pod people are HERE!!! . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRVfGMjdGh8 --You may also remember him from the classic "Twilight Zone" episode, "Long Live Walter Jameson", in which he played an immortal professor who wishes he could die. (--Here's a clip. He says he wants to die after the 5:20 mark . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxPKJzwDpjs
THE TOP-EARNING COMEDIANS
JEFF DUNHAM AND DANE COOK ARE THE TOP-EARNING COMEDIANS:
Forbes.com has released a list of the Top-Earning Comedians. These are comics who make the bulk of their living doing STANDUP. --That disqualifies people like JERRY SEINFELD . . . because even though he's made $75 MILLION over the past year, most of it came from "Seinfeld" reruns.
--The same goes for JAY LENO and CONAN O'BRIEN.
--Fellow late-night host CHELSEA HANDLER DID make the list . . . at #4. She made $19 million last year . . . but she made twice as much on the road than she did as host of "Chelsea Lately".
--Topping this year's list is ventriloquist JEFF DUNHAM, with $22.5 million. He's followed by DANE COOK with $21 million.
--At #3 is yet another ventriloquist, TERRY FATOR. He's the guy whose puppets do impressions of famous singers. He was the Season 2 winner of "America's Got Talent" . . . and he made $20 million over the past year.
#1.) JEFF DUNHAM, $22.5 million
#2.) DANE COOK, $21 million
#3.) TERRY FATOR, $20 million
#4.) CHELSEA HANDLER, $19 million
#5.) GEORGE LOPEZ, $18 million
#6.) LARRY THE CABLE GUY, $16.5 million
#7.) RUSSELL PETERS, $15 million
#8.) (tie) JEFF FOXWORTHY and HOWIE MANDEL, $11 million
#10.) BILL ENGVALL, $10.5 million
(--Check out the slideshow here . . .)
http://www.forbes.com/2010/09/07/handler-dunham-cook-fator-business-entertainment-top-earning-comedians_slide_2.html
"RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE" OPENED AT #1:
The fourth "Resident Evil" film earned $27.7 million in its first weekend to open at #1 at the box office. That makes "Afterlife" the highest-grossing opening weekend for any of the "Resident Evil" flicks. --That's also better than any other zombie movie's first week take, surpassing the $26.7 million opening weekend that "Dawn of the Dead" had back in 2004.
--Here are the Top 10 movies . . .
1.) (NEW) "Resident Evil: Afterlife", $27.7 million
2.) "Takers", $6.1 million (--Up to $48.1 million in its 3rd week.)
3.) George Clooney's assassin flick "The American", $5.9 million (--Up to $26.7 million in its 2nd week.)
ARETHA FRANKLIN WANTS HALLE BERRY TO PLAY HER IN A MOVIE:
There's a movie in the works about ARETHA FRANKLIN. It'll be based on her autobiography, "Aretha: From These Roots" . . . which came out in 1999. --Aretha will be reviewing the script next week, and she has some suggestions for the casting department. --She wants HALLE BERRY to play her . . . at least a younger version of her. And she wants DENZEL WASHINGTON to play her father, who was a Baptist minister and civil rights leader in Detroit. --She'd also like to snag TERRENCE HOWARD to play Motown legend SMOKEY ROBINSON. (--Aretha has never been shy about her admiration for Terrence Howard. In 2006, she said, quote, "Twenty years ago, I would have hustled and flowed with him. He sure is fine!) --In a press release, Aretha says that all three of her picks are, quote, "enthusiastic about the project and have agreed to take on these roles, subject to further negotiation."
WILL FERRELL IS WORKING ON A MOVIE THAT WILL BE IN SPANISH WITH ENGLISH SUBTITLES:
WILL FERRELL is working on a movie that'll be in SPANISH, with English subtitles. It's called "Casa de mi padre" . . . which, if my limited knowledge of Spanish serves, translates to "House of My Father". (???) --There's no word on the plot, but the movie will be done in the overly-dramatic style of the "telenovela" . . . which is a style of soap opera popular in Latin America. --The cast also includes GAEL GARCIA BERNAL and DIEGO LUNA . . . who starred together in the 2001 Mexican flick "Y tu mama tambien".
STEVE-O SAYS EVERYTHING ON "JACKASS 3D" WAS MORE PAINFUL . . . BECAUSE HE WAS SOBER:
For STEVE-O, there's a downside to being sober: It made filming "Jackass 3D" a lot more painful. He says, quote, "Being clear-headed and sober makes it more painful, more scary and the first thing I say is, 'I'm Steve-O, why do I have to be Steve-O?'" --But he adds, quote, "It was a totally different me and it was a real blessing to do that." (--"Jackass 3D" opens October 15th.)
SIMON COWELL HAS CALLED LOU REED'S ALLEGED SUSAN BOYLE REJECTION PETTY AND PATHETIC:
It's kind of unclear whether LOU REED PERSONALLY refused to give SUSAN BOYLE permission to perform his song, "Perfect Day" on "America's Got Talent" last week. --But SIMON COWELL believes he did. And he told TMZ that Reed's actions were, quote, "petty, so pathetic." --He added, quote, "Loads of people have covered this song. Well Lou, if you're listening to this, do we have permission, yes or no, to put the song on 'America's Got Talent' next week? [It's a] personal request from me." --In a separate interview with British radio, Simon explained, quote, "Two hours before [Susan] is going to perform it we get a phone call. Lou Reed will not allow her to sing 'Perfect Day'." (--Simon is one of the show's executive producers.) (--Susan ended up bailing on the performance altogether . . . because "Perfect Day" was the only song she had prepared.) --But last week, before Simon even made these comments, Lou's reps denied that he blocked the performance. Instead, they said they received the request too late, and the paperwork couldn't be cleared in time to make it happen. (--You can listen to a partial recording of Susan covering "Perfect Day" . . . which will reportedly appear on her next album, here . . .) http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_audio/091010_susan_boyle_PerfectDay_32.mp3
AND NOW . . . THERE WILL BE AN "AMERICA'S GOT TALENT" TOUR:
There's magnificent news today for fans of REALITY SHOW TOURS. --"America's Got Talent" is getting its first post-season tour, which will probably be similar to the ones "American Idol" and "So You Think You Can Dance" have been doing for years. --Deadline.com reports that the tour will launch on October 1st . . . and will be emceed by former "America's Got Talent" host JERRY SPRINGER. -The tour will likely include all the performers that made it to the Final Round of the current season. There aren't any official details yet . . . so there's no word on an itinerary. (--The fifth season finale will air this Wednesday.)
NBC WON'T BE REPLACING STEVE CARELL ANY TIME SOON:
As you've probably heard, STEVE CARELL is leaving "The Office" after this season. There's probably going to be a lot of talk . . . off and on . . . about who will replace him, but it sounds like nothing will be official for a LONG TIME. --"Sources" tell the "Hollywood Reporter" that no decision is expected until AFTER the season ends . . . meaning that it's at least eight months away. (--So keep that in mind the next time we hear a rumor about who will be replacing him.)
ROGER EBERT IS REVIVING "AT THE MOVIES" . . . AND HE'LL APPEAR ON IT, EVEN THOUGH HE CAN NO LONGER SPEAK:
ROGER EBERT has announced that he's re-launching his old movie review show, "At the Movies" . . . which was canceled earlier this year . . . and he'll appear on it, despite the fact that he can no longer talk. (--Roger lost his voice a few years ago after a series of operations to remove cancer from his thyroid and salivary gland. He also lost part of his jaw. Since then, he's used a computerized voice system to communicate.) (--He stopped appearing on "At the Movies" in 2006.) --It'll be called "Roger Ebert Presents At the Movies". Roger won't be doing the thumbs-up / thumbs-down thing anymore . . . instead, that will be done by the two new hosts: Christy Lemire from the Associated Press and NPR critic Elvis Mitchell. --Roger will appear in a feature called "Roger's Office," in which he'll discuss new, classic and overlooked movies using his computerized voice. --The new show will premiere on PBS in January.
"GLEE" IS DOING A TRIBUTE TO "ROCKY HORROR" . . . AND SOME OF THE ORIGINAL STARS WILL MAKE CAMEOS:
"Glee" is doing a tribute to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", and two cast members from the original movie . . . MEAT LOAF and BARRY BOSTWICK . . . will make cameos on the episode. (--Meat Loaf played Eddie in "Rocky Horror". Barry was Brad Majors.) --There aren't many details yet. But so-called "insiders" tell E! Online that Meat and Barry will appear as "TV station managers who have an 'interesting proposal'" for JANE LYNCH'S character, Sue Sylvester. (--There's no word what that is.) --SUSAN SARANDON . . . who also starred in the movie . . . has said that she'd be interested in appearing on the episode, but there's no indication that that's happening yet. "Glee's" "Rocky Horror" tribute will air on October 26th.
MONDAY TV REMINDERS: (--Check your local listings.)
--"Monday Night Football" [41st Season Premiere] . . . 7:00 to 10:15 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The New York Jets host the Baltimore Ravens at New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey.)
--"Monday Night Football" . . . 10:15 P.M. to 1:15 A.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The Kansas City Chiefs host the San Diego Chargers at Arrowhead Stadium.)
--"90210" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW.
--"Bachelor Pad" [1st Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"Gossip Girl" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW.
--"Lie to Me" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.
--"The Closer" [6th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TNT.
--"The 19th Wife" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Lifetime. (--Patricia Wettig from "Brothers & Sisters" plays a Mormon wife who leans on her excommunicated son when she is accused of killing her polygamous husband.)
--"The Day Before" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Sundance. (--A look at Jeremy Scott's New York fashion show preparations.)
--"Dating In the Dark" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"Rizzolie & Isles" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TNT.)
THE 100 WORST SONGS EVER:
AOL Radio has put out a list of the 100 Worst Songs Ever . . . and in a shocking development, the #1 worst song was NOT "Who Let the Dogs Out?" by BAHA MEN. --Instead, the top honors went to "Jersey Shore" moron DJ PAULY D for his song "(It's Time to) Beat Dat Beat". (???) "Who Let the Dogs Out?" was #2. (--They did not say HOW they came up with the list.)
--Here's the Top 10:
#1.) "(It's Time to) Beat Dat Beat", DJ PAULY D
#2.) "Who Let the Dogs Out", BAHA MEN
#3.) "Ice Ice Baby", VANILLA ICE
#4.) "She Bangs", RICKY MARTIN
#5.) "Barbie Girl", AQUA
#6.) "U Can't Touch This", MC HAMMER
#7.) "I Am Woman", HELEN REDDY
#8.) "I'm Too Sexy", RIGHT SAID FRED
#9.) "Ebony and Ivory", PAUL MCCARTNEY and STEVIE WONDER
#10.) "Macarena", LOS DEL RIO
(--You can check out the complete list . . . along with audio of each song, beginning here . . .)
http://www.aolradioblog.com/2010/09/11/worst-songs/?icid=mainmaindl2sec1_lnk3169800
LINKIN PARK IS STREAMING THEIR NEW ALBUM ON MYSPACE:
LINKIN PARK'S new album, "A Thousand Suns", hits stores TOMORROW . . . but it's streaming on their MySpace page NOW. (--If you want to check it out, hit up the link below. ***WARNING***: It's NOT censored.)
http://www.myspace.com/linkinpark/music/albums/a-thousand-suns
--As far as we can tell, you only have the option of listening to the album as a single, nearly 48-minute track. And that's probably how the band intended it. --MIKE SHINODA recently said, quote, "We want people to know that the record is, you know, something that if you listen to it from beginning to end you'll get something extra out of it."
DAVID LEE ROTH SAYS WE'LL HEAR FROM VAN HALEN SOON:
DAVID LEE ROTH recently told a fan site blogger that we'll be hearing from VAN HALEN "in the next seven to eight months." -We assume that means we'll be hearing some NEW MUSIC in seven to eight months . . . but he didn't actually say that.
JOHNNY ROTTEN HAS SETTLED THINGS WITH A FEMALE ASSISTANT HE ALLEGEDLY PUNCHED:
A former female assistant sued JOHNNY ROTTEN of the SEX PISTOLS two years ago, claiming that he called her an "(effing) (C-word)" . . . and PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE. (--That's the dirty C-word that rhymes with "stunt".) --Supposedly, he was angry because he wasn't happy with a hotel room that she'd booked for him . . . at a Ritz-Carlton. --Well, now she's dropped the lawsuit . . . and her attorney says the situation has been, quote, "satisfactorily settled." (--We have no idea what that means, but it sure sounds like Johnny shelled out some money to make this go away.)
LADY GAGA AND HER FORMER PRODUCER HAVE CALLED A TRUCE:
Earlier this year, LADY GAGA and her former producer, songwriting partner, and boyfriend Rob Fusari filed lawsuits against each other. Fusari sued Gaga for $30.5 million, and she filed a countersuit the next day. -Well, apparently it's been resolved. They issued a joint statement saying they had, quote, "agreed to end their dispute amicably and wish each other well. There will be no further comment." --If there was a financial settlement, there's no word what it was. (--Among other things, Fusari claimed he helped name and create the "Lady Gaga" character.)
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
THE WAIST SIZE ON YOUR PANTS IS PROBABLY TRICKING YOU INTO THINKING YOU'RE SKINNIER THAN YOU ARE:
Turns out there's a pretty big difference between having a 36-inch waist and wearing size 36 pants. --"Esquire" magazine compared pants labeled with 36-inch waists from different stores and manufacturers, and found that NONE of them were actually 36 inches around. All of them were bigger. Here's how they broke down.
--H&M, 37 inches.
--Calvin Klein, 38.5 inches.
--Alfani, 38.5 inches.
--Gap, 39 inches.
--Haggar, 39 inches.
--Dockers, 39.5 inches.
--Old Navy, 41 inches. (!!!)
--The reason for this is pretty obvious . . . clothing manufacturers want you to feel good about the waist size you're squeezing into, and make you more likely to actually buy their pants. (Chicago Sun-Times)
THE WOMAN WITH THE WORLD'S LARGEST BREAST IMPLANTS HAD THEM REMOVED:
30-year-old Sheyla Hershey of Richmond, Texas, has finally learned that traveling to South America to get gigantic, black market breast implants may NOT have been the smartest decision in the world. --In June, Sheyla wanted to have the largest fake breasts in the world. No doctor in the U.S. would give her the implants she wanted. So she returned to her home country of Brazil and had M-CUP IMPLANTS put into her chest. --Almost immediately, she started having health problems. Fevers. Strep throat. Staph infections. And it became clear that she'd need to get the implants removed to save her life. --Last week, doctors in Texas were able to successfully remove the implants. Unfortunately for Sheyla, in the process, they had to remove a lot of her genuine breast tissue too, because it was too damaged to save. --The surgeons say they were able to save just enough tissue that, in three or four months, once Sheyla has healed, they can try to reconstruct her breasts. This time, to a more reasonable size. --Sheyla says that she's good with that. She said, quote, "Even though I love to have huge breasts, I don't know why, I'm just addicted to it, I'm going to try to live without [them] . . . I realize that my family comes first." --Before she had the M-cup implants installed, Sheyla had previous surgeries to make herself a 34FFF cup, then a 38KKK cup, then a 51KKK. (My Fox Houston)
WHY HASN'T PRESIDENT OBAMA BEEN WEARING HIS WEDDING RING?
Last week, PRESIDENT OBAMA stopped wearing his wedding ring. --But no, it's not because he and MICHELLE are having problems . . .
--According to a White House spokesperson, Obama's wedding band was broken and needed to be repaired. They didn't give any details about how it was broken. --Obama's ring is described as a, quote, "thick, carved gold band from Indonesia." Obama lived in Indonesia from ages six to 10. (--Which is when he learned how to be a Muslim communist healthcare-rationing dictator, of course.) --There's no word on when Obama's going to get his ring back. --Michelle has showed up without her ring in public from time to time, but usually it's a fashion thing. At her husband's inaugural ball she left her wedding ring at home and wore a larger silver cocktail ring that matched her earrings instead. (ABC News)
A MAN AND WOMAN TRIED TO SIPHON GAS OUT OF A SALVATION ARMY VAN AND CAUGHT ON FIRE:
INSTANT JUSTICE has been served! --Last week, in Tacoma, Washington, a man and woman were trying to siphon gas out of a Salvation Army van. They haven't been named . . . all we know is that the woman is 20 years old. --Anyway, they should've known that the universe doesn't take kindly to people stealing from the Salvation Army . . . and karma decided to give the two some swift, decisive retribution. -According to an eyewitness, as they sucked gasoline out of the van's tank, somehow, a FIRE erupted. Police still don't know what caused the fire. --The man caught on fire. The woman caught on fire. The van also caught on fire. --The woman ran toward the witness, who told her to STOP, DROP and ROLL. For some reason she refused. So the witness found a garden hose and doused her until the fire went out. --Meanwhile, the male thief managed to put out his own flames and run away. The woman was taken to the hospital, and she's looking at charges for the gas theft and setting the van on fire. The police are still looking for the man. (Bellingham Herald)
NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A VIDEO CALLED "INCEPTION CAT" HAS BEEN VIEWED OVER TWO MILLION TIMES:
Somebody recorded their cat slowly coming into view on the other side of a window . . . then added dramatic music from the movie "Inception". That's it. But the resulting YouTube video has been viewed over 2 million times.
(--Search for "Inception Cat." The cat's head pops up at :16.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLDSE7RHvno
#2.) A CAT ADOPTED A BABY SQUIRREL . . . AND IT LEARNED HOW TO PURR:
After a baby squirrel fell out of a tree in Mississippi, a woman put it in a box with a litter of kittens, and the mother accepted it. Now the squirrel acts just like a kitten, and it even PURRS. (--Search for "Mississippi baby squirrel learns to purr." They show the squirrel for the first time at :45, and it purrs at 2:00.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBb7gdF2Gf4
#3.) AND NOW . . . A DANCING POODLE:
If stupid videos about cats isn't your thing, there's a dancing poodle you might enjoy. We highly recommend using the magic of 'The Benny Hillifier,' which adds the Benny Hill theme to any video. (--Search for "dancing poodle StupidVideos.com.")
http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/animals/Dancing_Poodle_1/
http://bennyhillifier.com/?id=j7bVtNW23WU
FIVE CO-WORKERS YOU SHOULDN'T BECOME FRIENDS WITH:
Recent studies have shown that having friends at work builds morale and increases productivity. But here's a list from LemonDrop.com of co-workers you SHOULDN'T become friends with . . .
#1.) THE OFFICE DO-GOODER. You'll end up helping with every canned-food drive and office birthday party . . . which will affect your work and stress you out.
#2.) THE PESSIMIST. For obvious reasons, it'll be depressing. But you'll also have to worry about your BOSS. He might assume YOU have a bad attitude because YOUR FRIEND has a bad attitude.
#3.) THE WEIRDO. We're not sure what they mean by this one, because what if you work somewhere where everyone's weird? Like a radio station? --Anyway, their advice is to not avoid the person completely, because you don't want to get on the bad side of an unstable co-worker. But maybe you should dodge their invitation to poker night.
#4.) THE OFFICE GOSSIP. If they're gossiping about other people, they're gossiping about you too. Don't become friends with someone if you KNOW you can't trust them.
#5.) THE PERSON WHO BRINGS DONUTS EVERY DAY . . . BUT DOESN'T EAT ANY. They might be a control freak, which isn't necessarily a BAD thing. --But at the same time, the main character in "Dexter" brings donuts to work every day . . . and HE'S a serial killer. (LemonDrop.com)
SITE FOR SORE EYES:
http://myskillsmyfuture.org
The U.S. Department of Labor has launched this website to help those looking for a job. Just enter your current or previous job and it will match your skills to new careers and let you know what training is necessary to transition from one job to another. The “My Skills My Future” site also has links to view local job openings and find training and education providers. Job seekers can find descriptions, salary information and common job tasks associated with a new occupation.
Workplace Annoyances
A new Office Team survey asked American workers what their top workplace break room annoyances were. While 7% answered “nothing” bothers them about their break room at work, others had a difference of opinion.
Making a mess for others to clean up 44%
Stealing food from a co-worker 19%
Leaving old/spoiled food in the refrigerator 18%
Eating food that stinks up the office 5%
KFC Brings Back The Colonel
KFC has launched an online and social media blitz aimed at introducing its once-iconic founder to the latest generation of consumers. The company launched the campaign on Facebook, Twitter and other online sites last week to coincide with what would have been Colonel Harland Sanders’ 120th birthday. More than 60% of Americans 18 to 25 couldn’t identify Colonel Sanders in the KFC logo. Even worse, 50% believe he’s a made-up icon, and 30% don’t have a clue who he was. Now, KFC’s trying to paint a new picture – and they’re asking consumers to paint it for them. Through September 30th, artists can upload their sketches of the colonel at www.kfc.com/portrait. The winning artist will receive $1,100 – $100 for each of the 11 herbs and spices used for the Colonel’s Original Recipe chicken.
America’s 10 Worst Weather Cities
Syracuse, New York, and Miami, Florida, top a list of cities named by the Farmers’ Almanac as America’s worst weather cities. The Farmers’ Almanac’s 10 Worst Weather Cities appears in the 194-year-old publication’s 2011 edition. Topping the list of cities with the worst winter weather is Syracuse, New York, for its “cold, clammy, snowy” weather and bitterly cold temperatures. The city averages almost 120 inches of snow per season. Rounding out the worst winter locales:
2. Duluth, Minnesota, with January temperatures averaging in at a mere 16°F.
3. Casper, Wyoming, with an average of 181 days of sub-freezing temperatures each year.
4. Cleveland, Ohio, with bone-chilling winds sweeping down off of Lake Erie.
5. Detroit, Michigan, where two out of every three winter days are overcast.
Topping the list of cities with the worst summer weather is Miami, Florida. Miami’s subtropical climate becomes excessively hot and humid during the summer months. Add to that the fact that it is right in the line of fire for most tropical storm and hurricane activity, and its frequent thunderstorms, with an average of 44 inches of rainfall each summer. Rounding out the worst summer locales:
2. New Orleans, Louisiana, for its high humidity and frequent tropical storms.
3. Dallas, Texas, for its hot as hell temperatures well over 100°F and frequent tornadoes.
4. Mobile, Alabama, which sees temperatures above 90°F on two out of three days in the summer, and average humidity levels between 60% and 70%.
5. Corpus Christi, Texas, where late afternoon temperatures peak around 94°F during summer months.
posted by Nazzy @ 6:14 AM
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