HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (11-12-10)

JESSICA SIMPSON SAYS SHE'S "EXTREMELY HAPPY" FOR NICK LACHEY:

How does JESSICA SIMPSON really feel about NICK LACHEY'S engagement to VANESSA MINNILLO? --On RYAN SEACREST'S radio show yesterday, she said, quote, "I am extremely, extremely happy for him. I couldn't be more happy for Nick." --And she denied reports that she's NOT happy for Nick . . . quote, "I don't know where all those rumors came from . . . --"You know, our relationship was over a really long time ago, so it would be nice if everybody could move on with us and really just celebrate the love between him and Vanessa. I do, and I wish them nothing but the best."


HULK HOGAN HAS APPLIED FOR A MARRIAGE LICENSE:

57-year-old HULK HOGAN and his 35-year-old fiancée Jennifer McDaniel have applied for a marriage license. There's no word on a wedding date, but the license expires on January 11th . . . so obviously, it should be before then. --E! Online says that Hulk's son NICK will be the best man.


TRACY MORGAN'S GOAL WHEN HE DOES STANDUP IS TO MAKE WOMEN FART:

A standup comedian can have many objectives when he or she gets up on that stage: To entertain, to inform, to illuminate . . . or even just to make a ton of money. --But I'm sure TRACY MORGAN is the only comedian who does what he does because he wants to cause FEMALE FLATULENCE. --He says, quote, "Whenever I do stand-up, my goal, my aim is to make the cute girl in the front row fart. I want her to laugh so hard it burns. When we would do our thing and it smelled like marijuana and fart." (???)


EDDIE MUNSTER IS IN REHAB:

BUTCH PATRICK is in rehab. He's the guy who played the little kid, Eddie, on "The Munsters" in the 1960s. --Butch is 57 years old now, and his agent says he's been struggling with drug and alcohol addiction since he was 17. Even so, this will be his first time in rehab. --Butch's addiction took a turn for the worse recently, when his fiancée left him. She's a former Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader and a HUGE "Munsters" fan. --She actually started corresponding with Butch back when the show was on the air. They lost touch . . . but found each other again a few years ago on the Internet. They got engaged in July, but she dumped him right after Halloween. (--At least she didn't ruin Eddie Munster's Halloween. That's like how normal people wait until after Christmas to break someone's heart.)


BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE'S DAUGHTER WANTED A "DEAD PET":

Now that she's a mom, it's fun to see ANGELINA JOLIE get forced into the position of being the responsible, mature adult when her kids do weird stuff. Like this: --Angelina and BRAD PITT'S daughter Shiloh recently announced that she wanted a DEAD PET. Which is something Angelina herself probably would have been into 10 years ago. But she had to confront this situation like a grown-up. --She tells "Vogue" magazine, quote, "Shiloh found a dead bird, so she came in and said, 'Can I have a dead pet?' And I'm . . . 'Uh-uh, I don't think it's healthy, honey. I think they have to put him in a box.' --"And I had to run out to find, like, a taxidermy bird. I just worked it out for her." --Elsewhere in the interview, Angelina revealed that she's not a very good cook . . . but she's, quote, "getting better at bacon." --She says, quote, "I'm not the best cook. Pax . . . (--who turns 7 this month) . . . is a better cook than me. Pax likes to cook. But I try to when I can. Any house that we're in, we all chip in. --"But the kids are very sweet . . . so enthusiastic anytime I cook. Especially Maddox, he's just this little man that's very supportive of me . . . it's like he's raised me a bit. --"So I cooked them all breakfast before school this morning, and he has that kind of 'Thanks, Mom! Good job!'"
MATT LAUER DEFENDS HIS INTERVIEW WITH KANYE WEST:

On yesterday's "Today" show, MATT LAUER ran the interview he did with KANYE WEST . . . the one that got Kanye all riled up on Wednesday. --There appear to be two moments that really got under Kanye's skin. The first was when Lauer made Kanye look at video of GEORGE W. BUSH, before answering a question. --Kanye was obviously frustrated by that, and he said, quote, "I didn't need you guys to show me the tape in order to like prompt my emotion to what I'm going to say. --"I came up here because I wanted to say something right after the fact. This is the reality, this is the real thing going on. I don't need all the jazz." --Then, when Kanye was discussing the TAYLOR SWIFT incident, that video started playing, with the sound low, but still audible. --Kanye said, quote, "Yo, how am I supposed to talk if you gonna run this thing in the middle, while I'm talking? Please don't let that happen again, it's like ridiculous." --After showing the interview, Lauer defended himself and the "Today" show from the Wrath of Kanye. --He said, quote, "It's something we do every day . . . when a guest is talking about an incident or a location, we run video of that. --"There was nothing improper about it, nothing unusual about it whatsoever." (--Here's video of the Kanye interview . . . which was taped on Tuesday night . . . and Matt's response . . .)
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/40128321#40128321


IT'S DENZEL WASHINGTON VERSUS THE SCI-FI FLICK "SKYLINE":

#1.) "Skyline" (PG-13)

A sci-fi flick about an alien invasion, with people being sucked up into weird lights in the sky. Apparently anyone who looks into the light somehow falls under the aliens' control.(--You can upload a picture to see your own face with alien special effects here.) --It's got Eric Balfour, Donald Faison from "Scrubs", and Scottie Thompson, who "NCIS" fans would know as the chick who broke DiNozzo's heart a few seasons back.
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDJfue-Aanw

Official Site: http://www.iamrogue.com/skyline


#2.) "Unstoppable" (PG-13)

Denzel Washington and "Star Trek's" Chris Pine try to stop a runaway train of hazardous chemicals before it hits a densely populated area. It's directed by Tony Scott, who's worked with Denzel on three other movies, including "Crimson Tide" and "Man on Fire". Rosario Dawson is also in it.
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA63glohLhg

Official Site: http://www.unstoppablemovie.com/

#3.) "Morning Glory" (PG-13) (Opened Wednesday)

Rachel McAdams plays an ambitious TV producer trying to fix a morning show's weak ratings. So she hires veteran news anchor Harrison Ford . . . who refuses to do any of the standard fluff pieces and takes an immediate disliking to his co-host, Diane Keaton.

Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlVNDf28xxw

Official Site: http://www.morningglorymovie.com/


THE TOP 15 MOST POPULAR SHOWS AMONG REPUBLICANS . . . AND DEMOCRATS:

A consumer research company called Experian Simmons has released a new study of The Top 15 Most Popular TV Shows For Republicans and Democrats. --The #1 Republican show was "Glenn Beck" on Fox News, and the top Democrat show was "Countdown with Keith Olbermann" on MSNBC. But after that, the lists weren't political at all.

--Here are the Top 15 Most Popular Shows For Republicans:

#1.) "Glenn Beck", Fox News

#2.) "The Amazing Race", CBS

#3.) "Modern Family", ABC

#4 and #5.) Tied: "American Idol" on Fox . . . and "V" on ABC

#6 and #7.) Tied: "The Big Bang Theory" and "The Mentalist", both on CBS

#8.) "Survivor", CBS

#9.) "Dancing with the Stars", ABC

#10.) "Desperate Housewives", ABC

#11.) "NCIS", CBS

#12 and #13.) Tied "The Bachelor" on ABC, and "Lie to Me" on Fox

#14.) "How I Met Your Mother", CBS

#15.) "Two and a Half Men", CBS

--And here are the Top 15 Most Popular Shows For Democrats:

#1.) "Countdown with Keith Olbermann", MSNBC

#2.) "Mad Men", AMC

#3.) "Dexter", Showtime

#4.) "Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami", E!

#5.) "90210", the CW

#6 and #7.) Tied: "Private Practice" and "Brothers & Sisters", both on ABC

#8.) "30 Rock", NBC

#9.) "The Good Wife", CBS

#10.) "Damages", FX

#11 and #12.) "Community", and "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit", NBC

#13.) "Friday Night Lights", NBC / DirecTV

#14.) "Parks and Recreation", NBC

#15.) "Breaking Bad", AMC


"JERSEY SHORE'S" ANGELINA HAS RECORDED A RAP SONG:

Angelina from "Jersey Shore" has recorded a RAP song. --A portion of the song hit the Internet yesterday, and it's . . . brace yourself . . . HORRIFIC. I know, I'm floored, too. Still, it's worth a listen for its amusement factor. --Here's a sample of Angelina's lyrical brilliance: --Quote, "I'm hot, so hot / I'm like an ice cream cone with a cherry on top. And I got, a lot, no I won't stop 'til I pop to the top. I take a shot, It hits the spot / Then dance a lot, until I drop / I shop, and shop, I just can't stop . . ." --And later she raps, quote, "You can't replace, or crowd my space / So step off (B-word), or I'll punch your face . . ." (--Listen to the clip from the song, here . . .)
http://tmz.vo.llnwd.net/o28/newsdesk/tmz_audio/111110_angelina_song.mp3


"THE SIMPSONS" HAS BEEN RENEWED FOR A 23rd SEASON:

Fox has renewed "The Simpsons" for a 23rd season. (--That's for next year, of course. Its 22nd season is currently in progress.) --By the end of the 23rd season, there will be 515 episodes of "The Simpsons" . . . dating back to the first season in 1989. And there's no indication that it'll be the final season. --Executive producer Al Jean joked, quote, "Like many 22-year-olds, 'The Simpsons' is extremely happy remaining at home, on Fox, and hopes it doesn't have to go out into the real world for many years to come."


WEEKEND TV REMINDERS
FRIDAY TV REMINDERS:

--"Smallville" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW. (--Teri Hatcher played Lois Lane opposite Dean Cain on "Lois & Clark" back in the '90s. Tonight she guest stars as Lois' mom. And the wife of the guy who plays Green Arrow will be playing a villain.)

--"Avalon High" . . . 8:00 to 9:30 P.M. on the Disney Channel. (--A movie about high school kids who are the reincarnated knights of King Arthur's court.)

--"Primetime: What Would You Do?" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Scenarios include doctors drinking in a bar before going on their shifts.)

--"Industrial Light & Magic: Creating the Impossible" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Encore. (--A tribute to the Lucasfilm special effects company, Industrial Light and Magic, narrated by Tom Cruise.)

--"Wizards of Waverly Place" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on the Disney Channel.

--"24/7" [10th Season Finale] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on HBO.

--"Friday Night Alright" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on VH1. (--Paul McCartney, Pink and the Strokes perform from the Isle of Wight Festival 2010.)

SATURDAY TV REMINDERS:

--"Outlaw" [SERIES Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC.

--"Behind the Music: Hall & Oates" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic.

--"Tracy Morgan: Black & Blue" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on HBO. (--"30 Rock's" Tracy Morgan performs at the Apollo Theatre in New York.)

--"Rock 'N' Roll Fantasy Camp" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic.

--"Back From Hell: A Tribute to Sam Kinison" . . . 10:00 to 11:15 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--Denis Leary, Chris Rock, George Lopez, Kathy Griffin, and Jay Leno share memories and discuss the impact Sam Kinison had on comedy.)

--"That Metal Show" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 Classic. (--Tesla's Jeff Keith and Frank Hannon along with Testament's Chuck Billy are guests.)

--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Scarlett Johansson guest hosts and Arcade Fire is the musical guest.)

SUNDAY TV REMINDERS:

--"Sunday Night Football" . . . 8:15 to 11:15 P.M. Eastern on NBC. (--The Pittsburgh Steelers host the New England Patriots at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh.)

--"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Carrie Underwood, LeAnn Rimes and Keith Urban, along with real life "The Blind Side" mom Leigh Anne Tuohy, help Ty and his crew build a school in Tennessee.)

--"Betty White: America's Golden Girl" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on TVLand. (--Betty White's career and marriage to Allen Ludden is profiled.)

--"Tina Fey: The Mark Twain Prize" . . . 9:00 to 10:30 P.M. on PBS. (--"30 Rock's" Tina Fey is awarded the Kennedy Center's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor featuring Jimmy Fallon, Jon Hamm, Betty White, Steve Carell, Amy Poehler and Steve Martin.)

--"Sarah Palin's Alaska" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC. (--Former governor Sarah Palin shows off her state's natural wonders.)

--"American Dad" . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Hayden Panettiere plays a new girl in school who invites Steve to her house while her parents are out of town.)

--"Bored To Death" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on HBO.

--"Amazing Wedding Cakes" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on WE.


SOME GIRL IS TRYING TO WIN OVER JUSTIN BIEBER WITH A SONG:

A 14-year-old girl named Michaela Wallace is apparently trying to win JUSTIN BIEBER'S affection by releasing her own song on YouTube. --It's called "Justin Bieber's Girlfriend" . . . and admittedly it's pretty catchy. -The lyrics include the line, quote, "18,000 other girls here, but he'll be lookin' at me. I'll hold up a homemade sign, 'Will you marry me?'" --And the chorus goes like this: Quote, "Gonna be Justin Bieber's girlfriend tonight, and we're gonna be dancin' in the moonlight. He'll play my song, then it's love at first sight . . . gonna be Justin Bieber's girlfriend tonight." (--You can listen to the song, here . . .)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP1WqkqDcpo
(--If you think about it, releasing the well-done pop song is a win-win for this girl. First off, she has a decent chance of getting Justin's attention . . .) (--But even if that doesn't work out, she's going to score at least 15 minutes of fame out of this. The video has already been viewed over 260,000 times. For better or worse, this probably isn't the last we've heard of Michaela Wallace.) (--I just hope she's very careful with her heart. Because we should never forget, Justin Bieber also has the power to make little girls cry . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTCm8tdHkfI


LADY GAGA HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST A PSYCHO FAN:

LADY GAGA likes to call her fans 'little monsters' . . . but when she was confronted by a fan who really DOES sound like a monster, she panicked. --Gaga has reportedly taken out a restraining order against some psychotic, 26-year-old chick who's sent her some very disturbing letters. --She allegedly wrote, quote, "You come to my dreams. I want to die and I want to die together with you. I am not Mark Chapman. It is not only you who will die. I will shoot a bullet through my head, too." (--She's talking about Mark David Chapman . . . the nut-job who killed JOHN LENNON back in 1980. So yeah, you can see how Lady Gaga is a little spooked. This chick has been ordered not to come within 500 yards of Gaga.)


THE NEXT GORILLAZ ALBUM IS BEING CREATED ON AN IPAD:

GORILLAZ hope to have a new album before Christmas. There's no release date yet. (--Their last album 'Plastic Beach" just came out March.) --Singer DAMON ALBARN says that he's been recording the album while out on tour. He says he's been creating the music in various hotel rooms . . . on an iPAD. He's assuming this will be the FIRST album created solely on an iPad.


NIKKI SIXX IS COOL WITH STEVEN TYLER'S DECISION TO DO "AMERICAN IDOL":

You can now add MOTLEY CRUE bassist NIKKI SIXX to the list of people who are COOL with STEVEN TYLER doing "American Idol". -He was responding to KID ROCK, who he said Steven was, quote, "stupid" for agreeing to do "Idol". --Nikki said, quote, "[Kid Rock is] trying to say 'American Idol' is cheesy . . . but the whole point of Steven Tyler being on 'American Idol' is to not make it cheesy!" --"[Steven is] a real artist . . . he knows how to write songs, he plays instruments . . . he's one of the greatest singers and one of the greatest front men of all time. So who's better to judge somebody then Steven?" (--We're keeping track of which musicians are PRO Steven Tyler as a judge, and which ones are against it.) (--For now, Kid Rock and SLASH have come out criticizing the move, while GODSMACK singer SULLY ERNA and now Nikki Sixx are cool with it.)


MC HAMMER HAS OFFICIALLY EXTINGUISHED HIS BEEF WITH JAY-Z:

MC HAMMER has officially announced the end of his short beef with JAY-Z. --Hammer released this thoroughly ridiculous statement: Quote, "As a responsible veteran of twenty something years of [Hip-Hop], I can't leave it out there with tensions. --"I am reading comments on both sides, it's not about that, I have seen all of that before. There is an opportunity to say at some point. We onto the next thing. You know, Jay took his shot and I answered. Now let's move on." --The strange thing is, there was never really anything to this beef in the first place. --Jay rapped about Hammer being "broke" on KANYE WEST'S track "So Appalled", but later said that he didn't mean it as an attack. But Hammer took it personally, and dissed Jay-Z in the video for his track "Better Run Run". --But that's all water under the bride now. --Hammer added, quote, "Seven days [of beefing] is enough. I'm accepting Jay Z at his 'word' and moving on. I made my point."


FRIDAY'S SHOWBIZ QUICK HITS


On Wednesday's "Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson", DICK VAN DYKE revealed that he was saved by porpoises years ago, when he fell asleep on his surfboard and drifted out to sea.

(--To hear Dick tell the story, skip to the 8:24 mark at this link . . .)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A75QAw5nank



Legendary movie producer DINO DE LAURENTIIS . . . the grandfather of Food Network minx GIADA DE LAURENTIIS . . . died yesterday at the age of 91. Without him, we might never have had "War and Peace", "Barbarella", "Serpico", "Death Wish", "Conan the Barbarian" or . . . "ARMY OF DARKNESS"!!!

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20441312,00.html



"Entertainment Weekly" has compiled a list of the 25 Best TV Title Sequences of All Time. They include "The Twilight Zone", "Mission: Impossible", "The Brady Bunch", "The Cosby Show", "Mad Men" and "Lost".

http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20302134_20440684,00.html?xid=email-ThisWeekend-20101111-5Things-Story4


"Call of Duty: Black Ops" sold 5.6 million copies in its first day on the shelves . . . for a total take of $360 million. That breaks the single-day record set by "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2", which made $310 million on sales of 4.7 million units.

http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D9JE7KHO0.htm



The trailer for the new NICOLAS CAGE movie, "Season of the Witch" has hit the web. Nic does some old-school "witch-finding" with the help of Ron "Hellboy" Perlman. The legendary Christopher Lee is also in it. It comes out January 7th.

http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/blogs/heat-vision/video-season-witch-starring-nicolas-44584



Some guy tried to break into the home of 'N SYNC superstar JC CHASEZ on Wednesday . . . but JC was home. He chased the dude off by yelling at him and calling 911. Police haven't caught him yet.

http://www.tmz.com/2010/11/11/jc-chasez-nsync-house-home-burglary-robbery-home-invasion-police-manhunt/



NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

MONEY IS THE BIGGEST SOURCE OF STRESS FOR AMERICANS TODAY:

I hope you're sitting down, because we have some SHOCKING, EARTH-SHATTERING NEWS. Americans are stressed out about money. I know, right? Who knew? --According to the American Psychological Association's annual study on stress in the U.S., 76% of us . . . or three out of four . . . are stressed out about money. That makes it the biggest source of stress in the country in 2010. --Here's the list of the top 10 things causing us stress. The percentages add up to way more than 100% because people were allowed to give more than one answer.

#1.) Money, 76%

#2.) Work, 70%

#3.) The economy, 65%

#4.) Family responsibilities, 58%

#5.) Relationships, either with a partner, your kids, or both, 55%

#6.) Personal health concerns, 52%

#7.) Housing costs, either your mortgage or rent, 52%

#8.) Job stability, 49%

#9.) Health problems affecting your family, 47%

#10.) Personal safety, 30% (AOL Health)


IF YOU'RE A WOMAN, THE STUFF PEOPLE SAY IN YOUR LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION MIGHT BE COSTING YOU JOBS:

Researchers at Rice University in Houston, Texas just finished a study that analyzed the letters of recommendation people wrote for job candidates. And they found one major pattern. --Without even realizing it, people are COMPLETELY SEXIST. --The researchers found that in almost every case, people writing letters of recommendation described women with more social and emotional terms . . . and described men with more active and assertive terms. --Check out some of the words and phrases that showed up a lot in the descriptions of women: affectionate, helpful, kind, sympathetic, nurturing, tactful, agreeable, helps others, takes direction well, and maintains relationships. --For men, it was . . . confident, aggressive, ambitious, dominant, forceful, independent, daring, outspoken, intellectual, speaks assertively, influences others, and initiates tasks. --The researchers also found that, in general, managers are MUCH more likely to look for all of those active, assertive terms when they're making hiring decisions. So, the softer descriptions of women could actually be costing them jobs. (Eurekalert)
MORE WOMEN ARE MAKING SURE TO DRESS UP AND WEAR MAKE-UP WHEN THEY GIVE BIRTH . . . BECAUSE OF FACEBOOK:

People, we live in an era of OUT-OF-CONTROL VANITY. So this shouldn't be any sort of surprise. --More and more women are dressing up and wearing make-up these days . . . when they GIVE BIRTH. The days of letting yourself look like a pale, sweaty, disheveled train wreck in the delivery room are OVER. --Abigail Tuller is the editor-in-chief of "Pregnancy" magazine. And she says it's all because we live in the public photo-sharing age. --Quote, "The boundaries of the birthing room are being expanded. People are Facebooking from the delivery room . . . they're texting during labor. Everyone wants their information out there. You need to look good." --How good, though? A style blogger named Roxanna Sarmiento says, quote, "It's not about looking like you came from the runway. But those pictures last forever. Anyone can see them five or 10 years from now. Even future employers." --27-year-old Ashley Steele of Boston, Massachusetts is due in three months. And she says she's packing eye shadow, mascara, foundation, concealer, and bronzer when she goes to the hospital. --Quote, "Now your photos go up immediately on Facebook. It's not about me. It's 100% about the baby. But I have to be in some of those photos and I want to look as good as I can." (Boston Globe)


COULD YOU WALK AROUND IN NINE-INCH HIGH HEELS?

I'm not sure even the most BALANCED runway models or the most motivated drag queens could handle THESE high heels. --In London, a new high heeled shoe is about to go on sale . . . and it's got a stiletto heel that's almost NINE INCHES HIGH. The stiletto is 22-and-a-half centimeters, or 8.85 inches . . . but apparently it's got the structural integrity to hold up a person. --The shoe is called the Sky Heel. "Guinness" doesn't track high heel height, but the Sky Heel could very well be the tallest high heel that's ever been mass-produced. --They're set to go on sale next year and sell for only about $65 a pair. To start, they're only going to be available in British stores and on the website ParmarShoes.co.uk. (London Sun)


WALMART TAKES ANOTHER SHOT IN THE HOLIDAY PRICE WAR . . . BY OFFERING FREE SHIPPING ON PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING THEY SELL:

On Wednesday, we told you that four of the biggest toy sellers in the country . . . Target, Walmart, Toys "R" Us, and Amazon.com . . . are getting into a PRICE WAR to try to win your business this holiday season. Well . . . Walmart just fired another shot. --Yesterday, they put out a press release announcing that basically EVERYTHING they sell online is going to be available with free shipping until December 20th. There's no minimum purchase required. (PR Newswire)


MICROSOFT IS TRYING TO BEAT GOOGLE MAPS BY FOLLOWING CAB DRIVERS TO GET THE BEST ROUTES AROUND CITIES:

No one knows how to get around a city like a cab driver. They know the fastest routes and short cuts . . . or, if you look like a tourist, they know the slowest routes. (--And they especially know how to get to the best Pakistani restaurants.) --And now . . . the "good" people at Microsoft are planning to steal that knowledge in another attempt to compete with Google. --Microsoft created the search engine Bing to compete with Google, and they want Bing Maps to compete with Google Maps. But to do that, they're looking for an edge . . . and one edge could come from giving BETTER DIRECTIONS. --So, to figure out the best directions, they've actually started following around taxis to see the routes the cab drivers take. Then they'll apply those routes in Bing Maps. --So far, they've only done it in Beijing, China. They followed around Beijing's 33,000 taxis and charted their movements. Then they ran tests . . . comparing those routes to the routes proposed by Google Maps. --In the 30 tests, people who followed Bing Maps got to their destination about 15% faster than people who followed Google Maps. --Microsoft hasn't said if or when they're going to start following around cab drivers in the U.S. to figure out the best routes here. (New Scientist)


PHONEBOOKS ARE GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO TOTAL EXTINCTION:

A child born in the next few years probably isn't going to know what a "phonebook" is. Phonebooks, especially the White Pages, are rapidly moving closer and closer to extinction . . . and could be gone within the next decade. --In 2008, a study found that only 11% of people were still relying on the White Pages when they wanted to look up someone's number. That was down from 25% in 2005. And if they ran the survey again now, it would probably be in the single digits. --Fifteen states have given phone companies permission to stop printing phonebooks: Alabama, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Missouri, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Texas, Virginia, and Wisconsin. --AT&T has set up a system in some of those states where they'll only provide a phonebook on request. Only about 2% of households have requested one. --The reasons for the phonebooks disappearing are obvious. More of us use cell phones, which aren't listed in the phonebook . . . our cell phones store important numbers . . . and it's faster to just look up a person or business online. --The White Pages will definitely disappear faster than the Yellow Pages. According to the Yellow Pages Association trade group, HALF of all people in the U.S. still look something up in the Yellow Pages every month. (???) --If the directories go extinct, it could save at least 100,000 TONS of paper every year. -Robert Thompson is a professor at Syracuse University. He says, quote, "Anybody who doesn't have access to some kind of online way to look things up now is probably too old to be able to read the print in the White Pages anyway." (Yahoo News)


SCIENTISTS DISCOVER A NEW SPECIES OF LIZARD . . . AT A LUNCH BUFFET IN VIETNAM:

Let this be a warning to you if you're ever in Asia and decide to sample some of the mysterious animals they love to eat. You REALLY don't know what animal you're eating. And they might not know either. --A pair of scientists discovered a NEW SPECIES of lizard . . . and they found it at a LUNCH BUFFET in rural Vietnam. --Ngo Van Tri is a scientist at the Vietnam Academy of Science and Technology. A little while back, he was eating at a lunch buffet in southern Vietnam and noticed that all of the GRILLED LIZARDS they were serving appeared to be female. --He thought that was strange, so he contacted a friend of his . . . Dr. Lee Grismer, a reptile and amphibian expert at La Sierra University in Riverside, California. --Grismer and Tri made the restaurant owner PROMISE not to serve the lizards until they could check them out . . . then Grismer flew out to see them. --The only problem? By the time Grismer got to rural Vietnam, the restaurant owner had gotten DRUNK and accidentally grilled up and served all of the lizards. --So Grismer and Tri paid local kids to track down more of the lizards in the Mekong River. The kids found more than 60 of them. And Grismer and Tri's suspicions were right: It was a new species. --These lizards are classified as Leiolepis ngovantrii . . . they're all female and reproduce by CLONING THEMSELVES. They're doing more studies on the lizards now. The restaurant is still serving them, by the way. (CNN)


A CITY IN ARIZONA HAS TO PUT UP SIGNS TELLING PEOPLE NOT TO DRINK OUT OF THE TOILETS AND URINALS:

You'd THINK this goes without saying. Apparently, it does not. The city of Chandler, Arizona had to put signs up around their City Hall telling people NOT to drink the water out of their toilets and urinals. --The signs read, quote, "Urinals and toilets are served with gray water. Do not drink." --Gray water is a term for reused wastewater. In other words, sewage water that hasn't been treated, processed, or made safe for drinking. Using gray water in public toilets is one of the environmental measures the city is trying to take. --Craig Younger is a spokesman for the city of Chandler. He says they didn't post the signs because they've had problems with people drinking out of the toilets . . . they posted them because they HAD to. --He says the city needed to get a building code variance to use the gray water in their toilets . . . and as part of the deal, they were required to post the signs. (Arizona Republic)


A MAN BUYS A SANDWICH AT A DELI . . . GETS SHOT IN THE GROIN . . . BUT REFUSES TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL UNTIL HE CAN EAT HIS SANDWICH:

You know those people who get hungry and then CANNOT FUNCTION AS HUMANS until they eat? I'm thinking this next guy qualifies as one of those people. --On Tuesday in New Haven, Connecticut, an unidentified 25-year-old bought a sandwich at a deli. When he stepped outside, he heard GUNSHOTS. And TWO of the bullets hit him . . . one in the thigh, one in the GROIN. --And even though he was in pain, he wasn't about to let getting SHOT stand in the way of eating that sandwich. So he went home . . . ate and enjoyed his sandwich . . . THEN went to the hospital. --It looks like he's going to be okay. He gave a description of the two shooters but the police haven't tracked them down yet. (New Haven Independent)


A MAN GETS SHOT IN THE GROIN DURING A GAME OF MONOPOLY:

How many more people can Monopoly hurt? That game somehow just always leads to VIOLENCE. Here's the latest. Late on Wednesday, a man and woman in San Antonio, Texas were playing Monopoly. Their names haven't been released. --There's no word on what exactly went wrong . . . whether they fought over Monopoly or were just messing around . . . but eventually the woman pulled a gun. And she FIRED it . . . straight into the man's GROIN. --He was rushed to the hospital, and fortunately the bullet didn't hit any major arteries or genitals . . . so it looks like he's going to be okay. The woman said she didn't know the gun was loaded, and so far she hasn't been charged. (San Antonio Express-News)
FRIDAY'S QUICK HITS


Veteran's Day Stupidity Part One: Was Garfield's Veteran's Day strip offensive? It was written a year ago, but it showed a spider daring Garfield to squash it, and saying, "they will hold an annual day of remembrance in my honor." The last panel showed a teacher asking students if they know why spiders celebrate "National Stupid Day."

http://www.usatoday.com/life/comics/2010-11-11-garfield-apology_N.htm


Veteran's Day Stupidity Part Two: Was Google's Veterans Day logo secretly Muslim?! The American flag covered the top part of the 'e' in Google, and made the bottom part look crescent-shaped:

http://gawker.com/5687649/does-this-google-veterans-days-logo-look-muslim-to-you


Mugshot of the Day: Check out this dude missing his front teeth and snarling at the camera. He was arrested for shoving a stranger to the ground, and stomping on the hood of a car:

http://nyc.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/does-this-look-like-the-face-of-the-greatest-does-this-look-like-the-face-of-of-all-time/


Keystone State Stupidity Part One: When two cops in western Pennsylvania tried to serve warrants, people would run off when they saw the patrol car. So the cops used a van painted in Steelers colors instead:

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2010/11/11/national/a082539S02.DTL


Keystone State Stupidity Part Two: A Pennsylvania home was so infested with rats, they were a foot deep in places. Now the place is going to be demolished:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20101111/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_overrun_by_rats


Photos of the Day Part One: Special Forces in the war in Afghanistan use parachuting German shepherds with cameras mounted on their heads to report on the Taliban, and attack people:

http://www.pawnation.com/2010/11/10/should-canine-paratroopers-be-helping-battle-the-taliban-in-afgh/?icid=maingmain55link624671


Photos of the Day Part Two: A Tiger shark grabbed photo equipment from an underwater photographer and swam off with it:

http://www.news.com.au/world/terrifying-moment-shark-took-a-bite-out-of-sea-paparazzi/story-e6frfkyi-1225952336232


A new underwear company called Hanky Panky makes one-size-fits-all lingerie:

http://shopping.aol.com/articles/2010/11/09/hanky-panky-reviews/?ncid=AOLCOMMshopDYNLsec0001&icid=maingmain57link724616


A cop in Washington is in trouble for accidentally broadcasting ten seconds of him having sex while on duty over his two-way radio:

http://www.king5.com/news/snohomish-deputy-sexual-misconduct-investigation-107014248.html


Playing Tetris reduces the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder . . . playing Pub Quiz trivia games doesn't:

http://www.latimes.com/health/hc-weir-story-tetris-1110-20101110,0,5960212.column


A guy robbed a hotel and was caught at a bar next door called . . . The Alibi Bar:

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2010/11/11/20101111idaho-burglar-next-door-at-bar.html



NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) THE DEMOLITION OF A 275-FOOT SMOKESTACK DIDN'T GO WELL:

On Wednesday, a 275-foot smokestack was demolished at a power plant in Springfield, Ohio. But it fell the wrong way, knocking down power lines and destroying a small building. --The video is cool because the camera was right under the power lines when they came down. (--Search for "Mad River power plant demolition." They set off the blast at :17, but it doesn't start to fall until around :30.)
http://www.break.com/index/family-sends-tower-crashing-the-wrong-way-1951760


#2.) COULD THE JETS HEAD COACH BE ANY MORE RIDICULOUS?

The New York Jets play the Cleveland Browns on Sunday. And on Wednesday, Jets head coach REX RYAN held a ridiculous press conference dressed as is brother ROB RYAN, the Browns' defensive coordinator. --He said he was placing a bounty on his brother's head . . . meaning his OWN head. Then he was asked what he thinks about Rex Ryan, and said he's a "great coach . . . a great person, [and] very handsome".

(--Search for "Rex Ryan dresses like his brother Rob Ryan.")
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnCQ4XvGOLo


#3.) YOU'VE HEARD OF REMOTE CONTROL PLANES . . . BUT JETS?

You've heard of remote control toy airplanes, but did you know they have remote control JETS? There are a bunch of videos of them on YouTube, and they use actual jet fuel. So when they crash, there's a huge fireball. (--Search for "Stupid Videos remote control plane crash 1." It crashes at :18.)
http://www.stupidvideos.com/video/Remote_Control_Plane_Crash_1/?m=new#322483


#4.) HERE'S A COOL SHORT FILM CALLED "A LIFE ON FACEBOOK":

Someone made a short film called "A Life On Facebook" that shows a guy go from being single, to having a girlfriend, LOSING a girlfriend, having kids and growing old. But it doesn't show any scenes, just pictures and posts from his Facebook page. --Just to be clear, it's not about a real guy. But it's still cool. (--Search for "A Life On Facebook Maxime Luere.")
(--WARNING: This video includes the F-word and other profanity onscreen.)
http://vimeo.com/16691850


#5.) WATCH THIS WOMAN FREAK OUT ON "WHEEL OF FORTUNE":

On last night's "Wheel of Fortune", a blonde solved the puzzle in the Bonus Round and COMPLETELY flipped out when she won. (--Search for "Girl Goes Crazy After Winning on Wheel of Fortune.)
http://tv.gawker.com/5687954/girl-goes-crazy-after-winning-on-wheel-of-fortune
SIX THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO AT A CLUB:

If you're going out this weekend, Gawker has a list of the six things you should never do at a club . . . because they annoy everyone around you.

#1.) DON'T TAKE PICTURES. Nightclubs are dark, so anyone who happens to be looking in your direction will be blinded by the flash. Plus, everyone's there to let loose: Knowing your ridiculous behavior is being documented can be kind of a buzz-kill.


#2.) DON'T STAND ON THE STAIRS. You should only be using them if you're going up or down. Otherwise, you're just in the way . . . and eventually someone's going to spill a drink, or use it as an excuse to talk smack.


#3.) DON'T YELL FOR THE BARTENDER. If it's loud . . . which clubs always are . . . they probably won't hear you. And you'll just annoy the guy standing next to you by yelling in his ear. -To get a drink at the bar, just keep your money out and wait until the bartender looks your way. Yelling won't help. If anything, it'll hurt your chances of getting served.


#4.) DON'T ORDER A MARTINI. Martini glasses are only good if you have a table to put them on. If you try to carry one through a crowd, you'll end up spilling on someone.


#5.) DON'T HOLD HANDS WHILE YOU WALK THROUGH THE CLUB. Girls are the worst about this because they do it with guys AND other girls. They hold hands so they don't get separated, but it makes it harder for everyone ELSE to move around.


#6.) DON'T DANCE ON THE BAR. Unless it's clearly allowed, leave it to the pros. But chances are, you'll spill someone's drink, fall, break a heel, show everyone your crotch, and then get kicked out. But hey . . . it's the weekend, so don't let US stop you.
(Gawker)