Thursday, December 9, 2010



"Rolling Stone" Is Publishing John Lennon's Lost, Final Interview:

30 years ago . . . on December 5th, 1980 . . . JOHN LENNON sat down with a "Rolling Stone" writer for a nine-hour interview. A few excerpts were published after he died just three days later, but most of it went un-transcribed . . . and was forgotten. (--Lennon was shot and killed outside his New York City apartment building on December 8th, 1980, by a lunatic named MARK DAVID CHAPMAN. Chapman is still incarcerated. He's been denied parole six times.) --Recently, the writer, Jonathan Cott, discovered the tapes . . . and decided to put them out. The interview, which is believed to be the last one Lennon gave, is in the new issue of "Rolling Stone". It hits newsstands tomorrow. --It seems insane that with all the hysteria surrounding Lennon's death . . . both at the time and every December 8th since . . . Cott never thought to dig through the tapes. --But he explains, quote, "Earlier this year I was cleaning up to find some files in the recesses of my closet when I came across two cassette tapes marked 'John Lennon, December 5th, 1980.' --"It had been 30 years since I listened to them, and when I put them on this totally alive, uplifting voice started speaking on this magical strip of magnetic tape." JOHN LENNON'S unearthed, final interview with "Rolling Stone" touched on the subject of death several times. Obviously, that's a little eerie, considering how he was murdered just three days later. --First off, Lennon addressed the fans and critics that were frustrated or had abandoned him during his five-year hiatus from music in the late '70s by saying: --Quote, "What they want is dead heroes, like Sid Vicious and James Dean. I'm not interested in being a dead (effing) hero . . . so forget 'em, forget 'em." --Lennon said he hoped BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN wouldn't experience the same fate . . . quote, "God help Bruce Springsteen when they decide he's no longer God . . . they'll turn on him, and I hope he survives it." --Perhaps surprisingly, Lennon saw the potential for a BEATLES reunion, but emphasized that it wasn't imminent . . . because there was "plenty of time." --He said, quote, "We just might do it. But there will be no smoke bombs, no lipstick, no flashing lights. It just has to be comfy. But we could have a laugh. We're born-again rockers, and we're starting over. --"There's plenty of time, right? Plenty of time."

More Highlights from John Lennon's "Lost" Interview:

Since JOHN LENNON'S final "Rolling Stone" interview lasted nine hours, it's not surprising that he began spouting all kinds of deep thoughts and philosophy. Here are a few Lennon-isms for you to absorb. --He said, quote, "Give peace a chance, not shoot people for peace. --"All you need is love, I believe that. I'm not claiming divinity. I've never claimed divinity. I've never claimed purity of soul. I've never claimed to have the answer to life. I can't live up to people's expectations of me, because they are illusory. --"The hardest thing is facing yourself. It's easier to shout 'revolution' and 'power to the people' than it is to look at yourself and try and find out what's real and what isn't, when you try pull the wool over your own eyes and your own hypocrisy . . . --"That's the hardest one." --Lennon also said, quote, "When I was younger, I used to think that the world was doing it to me and that the world owes me something . . . when you're a teeny bopper, that's what you think. --"I'm 40 now, I don't think that anymore, because I found out it doesn't (effing) work. One has to go through that. For the people who even bother to go through that, most (a-holes) just accept what it is anyway and get on with it." --Lennon also shared his thoughts on his own existence . . . and talked about how much control we have over our own lives. --He said, quote, "We're all part of it, there's no separation in that respect. 'Am I real? What is the illusion I'm living, or am I not living?' I deal with it everyday, the layers of the onion." --"Don't be afraid to be afraid. Yes, I'm often afraid and I'm not afraid to be afraid . . . it's not at all scary. At least when [the world] is all right, let's enjoy it." --"We always have a choice [in how we control our lives], but how much of it is preordained? It's very strange sometimes. And that's a good ending."

Oprah Says That Stedman Is Her Man:

Yesterday, we heard OPRAH WINFREY'S denial that she and GAYLE KING are lesbians. Today, Oprah affirms that STEDMAN GRAHAM is her man. She says he's, quote, "The love, the lover, the man, the partner, the mate" in her life. (--This is from that Barbara Walters interview special that airs tonight on ABC. Here's video . . .)

Devon James Is No Longer Selling Her Alleged Tiger Woods Sex Tape . . . Because She Claims Tiger Bought Her Off:

We knew almost immediately that sleazy mattress actress DEVON JAMES never had a tape of herself having sex with TIGER WOODS. --Even when she and her scumbag husband set up a website to sell it, nobody believed them. Especially because they never released one single, solitary shred of evidence that it existed. --And also because a man came forward and claimed that they paid him to dress like Tiger and have sex with Devon. --And now, the game is officially up. After delaying the release of the sex tape several times, Devon and her husband have announced that they're not going to release it after all. --They claim it's because Tiger paid them a fat settlement to keep it private . . . which everyone knows is COMPLETE BULL. --They also claim that people who forked over 20 bucks to pre-order the tape have already had their money refunded. But says that many people haven't.

Ashton Kutcher Says That Pledging Your Love On Twitter or Facebook Is the Modern-Day Equivalent of Sending Flowers to the Office:

ASHTON KUTCHER has really bought into the whole social media phenomenon. He even believes it's revolutionizing the way we romance each other. --Ashton says that sending that special person in your life a romantic message on Twitter or Facebook is the equivalent of, quote, "sending flowers to the office", because, quote, "you are declaring your love for everyone to see." --He adds, quote, "Whether you like it or not, the digital age has produced a new format for modern romance, and natural selection may be favoring the quick-thumbed quip peddler over the confident, ice-breaking alpha-male." (--I'm gonna go ahead and disagree. If anything, I think social media has made us LAZY in the romance department . . . and it may even be causing us to lower our standards.)

Justin Bieber Says He Was "Just Kissing" That Girl From His "Baby" Video:

There's been talk recently that JUSTIN BIEBER is dating JASMINE VILLEGAS . . . who was the chick in his "Baby" video. --They were even photographed making out in the backseat of a car a few months ago. (--Here are the pictures . . .)
--But tonight on BARBARA WALTERS' "10 Most Fascinating People" special, Justin says it's nothing serious, and they're not dating. --He tells Barbara, quote, "I was kissing her. Well, I was just, I don't know, I was just kissing her. That's about it . . . I think every 16-year-old kisses a girl, right, so that's not nothing out of the ordinary." --By the way . . . Barbara was pretty SMITTEN by Justin when she interviewed him. She says, quote, "I could be accused of being a dirty old woman because I thought he was adorable . . . I asked him about dating and he said, 'I like older women.' --"This is a very smooth kid . . . and he's only just beginning to shave."

Aretha Franklin May Have the Same Cancer that Killed Patrick Swayze:

Several news outlets are reporting that ARETHA FRANKLIN'S mystery illness is PANCREATIC CANCER. It's the deadliest form of cancer . . . and the one that killed PATRICK SWAYZE. --Aretha's camp hasn't confirmed this yet. --Her cousin told the "Detroit Free Press", quote, "She has a long life in front of her and will be back in concert, onstage, late spring or early summer. This girl is doing great and [the media] need to stop [speculating]." --Aretha's sister-in-law added, quote, "Aretha is doing absolutely wonderful. All the prayers and will wishes have supported her and she's doing well." --Aretha underwent surgery last week. Last month, she canceled all her public appearances through next May.

Leslie Nielsen's Memorial Was an Open-Casket Cocktail Party:

LESLIE NIELSEN'S memorial was held Monday at a resort in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. And fittingly, it wasn't a completely somber affair. --It was billed as "Cocktails with Leslie and Barbaree" . . . Barbaree being Leslie's widow. --It was set up in a ballroom, with a giant screen showing clips from his movies and TV shows . . . including "Airplane!", "Police Squad!" and the "Naked Gun" movies. --And it was OPEN-CASKET. --About 100 people attended, but there were no celebrities . . . despite some talk that PRISCILLA PRESLEY might attend. She co-starred with Leslie in the "Naked Gun" flicks. (--I guess O.J. couldn't get a furlough either, huh?) (???)

Check Out the Trailer for the New "Transformers" Movie:

A new trailer for "Transformers: Dark of the Moon" has hit the web. Thankfully, there's no SHIA LABEOUF in this one. --What it does contain is a re-imagining of the Apollo 11 moon landing in 1969. Let's just say Neil and his boys found more than moon dust up there. (--The movie hits theaters next July. Here's the clip . . .)

Check Out This Fake Drug Commercial Featuring Bradley Cooper:

BRADLEY COOPER filmed a fake drug commercial that appears to be a promo for his upcoming movie, "Limitless". It's a thriller about a drug that can give you superhuman powers . . . but has some pretty scary side effects. (--"Limitless" also stars Robert De Niro and Abbie Cornish, and it's hitting theaters March 18th. Here's the "ad" . . .)

E! Online's Top 10 TV Comedies of the Year:

E! Online has put out a list of their Top TV Comedies of 2010. They gave the top honors to "Modern Family" . . . with "Glee" coming in second. Here's the list:

1.) "Modern Family" (ABC)

2.) "Glee" (Fox)

3.) "Community" (NBC)

4.) "The Big Bang Theory" (CBS)

5.) "How I Met Your Mother" (CBS)

6.) "Chuck" (NBC)

7.) "Raising Hope" (Fox)

8.) "Parks and Recreation" (NBC)

9.) "Party Down" (Starz)

10.) "Louie" (FX)

(--I guess "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" has been intentionally omitted, since they have another FX show on the list. And that's a shame . . . it's been FANTASTIC so far this season.)

MTV's New Year's Eve Special Will Feature Snooki Inside a Dropping Ball and Some World-Record Fist-Pumping: (???)

MTV has announced some details for this year's "MTV New Year's Bash" . . . and they're both bizarre and vague. And not surprisingly, the "Jersey Shore" cast will be prominently featured. --SNOOKI has "agreed to crawl into a ball that will drop in New York City's Times Square" as midnight hits. --There aren't any further details on this stunt, but it's probably safe to assume that she won't be inside the "official" ball that's been dropping in New York City . . . in one form or another . . . for more than 100 years. --While she's doing the ball thing . . . MIKE "THE SITUATION" and the rest of the "Jersey Shore" cast will be leading the crowd in a collective fist-pump. Supposedly, they will be attempting to break some Guinness World Record. --There's no word what record that is. It's unclear if there's a "fist-pumping" record. And if there IS one, you'd think it would already be owned by "Jersey Shore". (--All the articles we could find on this . . . including MTV's version . . . are all vague on what the record is, and how they're going to try beating it. Oh well.) --MTV's New Year's Eve festivities kick off at 11:00 P.M. Eastern time.

THURSDAY TV REMINDERS: (--Check your local listings.)

--"The Gruffalo" . . . 7:00 to 8:00 P.M. on ABC Family. (--Helena Bonham Carter, Robbie Coltrane, and John Hurt in the animated story of a mouse and a monster.)

--"Community" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on NBC. (--This holiday episode is done with stop-motion animation, as Abed goes in search of the true meaning of Christmas.)

--"Shrek the Halls" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on ABC.

--"Prep & Landing" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC (--A holiday cartoon featuring Dave Foley and "Scrubs" minx Sarah Chalke as part of an elite team of elves dedicated to making sure Santa meets his December 25th deadline.)

--"The Santa Incident" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. on the Hallmark Channel. (--Ione Skye and Greg Germann play two Homeland security agents who mistakenly shoot Santa out of the sky with a heat-seeking missile.)

--"The Office" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Michael gets a Christmas miracle when Holly returns to Scranton as HR rep after Toby takes a leave of absence.)

--"Barbara Walters Special: Oprah, The Next Chapter" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Barbara Walters interviews Oprah Winfrey about her final season.)

--"Barbara Walters Presents the 10 Most Fascinating People of 2010" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Justin Bieber, Sandra Bullock, Sarah Palin and Betty White are among this year's fascinating people.)

--"It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" [6th Season Finale] 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on FX.

--"The Apprentice" [10th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.

--"Fact or Faked" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.

--"The League" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:30 to 11:30 P.M. on FX.

Willow Smith Will Tour Europe with Justin Bieber:

10-year-old WILLOW SMITH will be whipping her hair back and forth on JUSTIN BIEBER'S European tour next spring. --She posted a message on Twitter saying, quote, "Got news that my big bro @justinbieber invited me on his European Tour in March . . . so exciting! Maybe I'll let [my brother] Jaden [SMITH] come. LOL" (--If that DID happen, Jaden could also make an appearance onstage. He rapped on "Never Say Never", which Justin recorded for Jaden's "Karate Kid" remake.)

Michael Jackson's New Album Is Streaming Online:

The new MICHAEL JACKSON album, "Michael", doesn't hit stores until next week, but it's currently streaming in its entirety on (--It looks like it's only streaming as one 41-minute track. Here's the link . . .)'s "Greatest Lead Singers of All Time" Poll:

The website conducted a poll to find The 30 Greatest Lead Singers of All Time. After all the votes were counted, the #1 spot went to GUNS N' ROSES singer AXL ROSE. And yeah, I did double-check the date of the article. --The site even issued an "explanation" saying that it was for the good old days . . . quote, "The public have spoken, and we can't think of a more contentious choice for the greatest lead singer of all time. --"Forget the moustachioed, cornrowed croaking caricature of recent years and think back to the late 1980s. Axl Rose: Dangerous, lean, angry, confrontational, controversial; the hotheaded . . . a born rock star who made being fashionably late a lifestyle choice and started riots in the process." --Well, he's still late a lot at least. --Coming in second was QUEEN legend FREDDIE MERCURY. (--Like Axl, Freddie hasn't done much in the past 20 years . . . although he has a better excuse.) --There were few eligibility rules: Singers had to be with REAL bands, not back-up ones like BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN'S E STREET BAND. And the poll wasn't just about finding the best vocalist . . . they were looking at the, quote, "whole package."

1.) Axl Rose . . . of Guns N' Roses

2.) Freddie Mercury . . . of Queen

3.) Robert Plant . . . of Led Zeppelin

4.) Ronnie James Dio . . . of Heaven and Hell, Dio, Rainbow and early '80s Black Sabbath, after Ozzy got the boot.

5.) John Lennon . . . of The Beatles

6.) Bruce Dickinson . . . of Iron Maiden

7.) Thom Yorke . . . of Radiohead

8.) Kurt Cobain . . . of Nirvana

9.) Matt Bellamy . . . of Muse

10.) Paul McCartney . . . of The Beatles and Wings

(--You can find the complete Top 30 . . . along with audio samples and's commentary, here.)

"Glee" Has Two Albums in the Top 5, Susan Boyle is #1, and the Black Eyed Peas Debut at #6:

The BLACK EYED PEAS had some disappointing first-week sales. Their new album, "The Beginning", only sold 119,000 copies to debut in 6th place. They're just behind the new "Glee" album. (--The cast of "Glee" now has two albums in the Top 5.) -But it's the beautiful SUSAN BOYLE who's outselling everyone. She's back in the top spot after moving another 272,000 copies of her holiday album "The Gift". Here are the Top 10 albums . . .

1.) "The Gift", Susan Boyle (272,000 copies)

2.) "Speak Now", Taylor Swift (182,000 copies)

3.) "O Holy Night" [EP], 10-year-old Jackie Evancho (145,000 copies)

4.) "Christmas Album", the cast of "Glee" (129,000 copies)

5.) (NEW) "Glee, the Music Volume 4" soundtrack (128,000 copies)

6.) (NEW) "The Beginning", Black Eyed Peas (119,000 copies)

7.) "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy", Kanye West (108,000 copies)

8.) "Pink Friday", Nicki Minaj (103,000 copies)

9.) "Illuminations", Josh Groban (78,000 copies)

10.) "Loud", Rihanna (77,000 copies)


KATY PERRY is changing her last name to BRAND.

RIELLE HUNTER is selfishly holding out hope that she'll marry JOHN EDWARDS now that his wife is out of the way.

You can take the girl out of Louisiana, but you can't take the Louisiana out of the girl. BRITNEY SPEARS certainly doesn't need to, but she shops at Wal-Mart anyway.

Check out a slideshow of all (or at least a lot of) the celebrity babies born this year.

Tennis legend PETE SAMPRAS had a ton of memorabilia, including most of his trophies, stolen from a storage facility in West L.A.

WESLEY SNIPES is supposed to turn himself in today. But his lawyers think a statement from one of the jurors that was read on "Larry King Live" the other night entitles him to a reprieve and a new trial.

Michael "Shagg" Washington . . . a backup singer for CYPRESS HILL . . . is suing the makers of "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas". He claims they based the lead character, "CJ", on him . . . but didn't pay him.

ADAM YAUCH of the BEASTIE BOYS is making a short film inspired by the video for the band's breakthrough single, "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (To Party)". It's called "Fight for Your Right Revisited", and it'll star Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Seth Rogen, Jack Black and Elijah Wood.

There's a joke in here if you want to go for it: JOY BEHAR and gay "Desperate Housewives" creator MARC CHERRY are among the judges for the next "Miss America" pageant.


Here's What Your Pet Says About Your Career: just released the results of a survey where they tried to connect people's pets to their careers. And they were able to make these broad generalizations about the professional lives of different pet owners. Check 'em out:

--Dogs. Dog owners are the most likely to have a senior management position. They're also likely to be professors, nurses, IT professionals, military professionals, or entertainers.

--Snakes or reptiles. Snake owners are the most likely to earn six-figure salaries. Common jobs are engineers, social workers, marketing and PR professionals, editors, writers, and police officers.

--Birds. Bird owners report the highest job satisfaction. Common jobs are advertising, sales reps, construction workers, and administrative professionals.

--Cats. The most common jobs for cat owners are physicians, real estate agents, science and medical lab technicians, machine operators, and caretakers.

--Fish. The most popular jobs for fish owners are in human resources, financial, hotel and leisure, farming, fishing and forestry, and transportation. (CNN)

Police Helped Solve a Case of Elder Abuse Thanks To . . . a Talking Parrot:

Police in St. George, South Carolina are building a case against a woman for abusing her elderly mother, and a LOT of the credit can go to . . . a CRIME-FIGHTING PARROT. --The police went to 98-year-old Anne Copeland's home in St. George on Monday night, after neighbors complained about a horrible smell coming from the house. --Police found that Anne had DIED, covered in bruises and bed sores. And the place was filthy, filled with animals and their droppings. --One of those pets was a parrot. And it kept repeating the phrase "Help me, help me" . . . and then laughing. The police realized it was the interaction between Anne and her daughter . . . Anne would beg for help, and her daughter would laugh. --Using the evidence they found . . . and backing it up with what they heard from the parrot . . . they arrested Anne's daughter, 60-year-old Gloria Clark. --She's been charged with abuse and neglect resulting in the death of a vulnerable adult. (Charleston Post and Courier)

A Man Flies From Australia To Chicago, Disguises Himself As a Reindeer . . . and Proposes to His Girlfriend:

What happened to the good old days, when proposing to your girlfriend was as simple as taking her to a baseball game and paying a few bucks to have them flash "Will You Marry Me?" on the JumboTron? Apparently that's not romantic enough anymore. --On Tuesday, 22-year-old Shane Fallon of Perth, Australia proposed to his girlfriend in a way that's so elaborate and expensive, that he just makes the rest of us look bad. --Shane's girlfriend is 22-year-old Rae Taylor, and she's from Perth too. But she's been going to Wheaton College just outside Chicago. They've been together for four-and-a-half years, and four of them have been long distance. --And on Monday, Shane flew from Australia to Chicago. When he got there, he rented a reindeer costume. Then he got Rae's roommate to bring her to a Christmas display in downtown Chicago, to pose for a photo with the reindeer. --After the photo, he got down on one knee, took off the reindeer head, and proposed. He says she was shocked, but she said yes . . . and everyone walking by stopped and clapped and cheered. (Chicago Sun-Times)

A Restaurant in Arizona Served Rabbit for Easter . . . and Now They're Offering Reindeer for Christmas:

On Easter, a place called Caffe Boa in Tempe, Arizona offered a special ALL-RABBIT dinner. And now, for Christmas, the same chef is offering an ALL-REINDEER DINNER. --It's not really reindeer, it's actually North American caribou. But they're basically the same animal, the only difference is geographical. These reindeer come from the Midwest, not Santa's workshop. --The reindeer meal features things like caribou tartare with a pickled quail egg . . . caribou tongue bruschetta . . . caribou sausage . . . a pasta with a caribou Bolognese . . . caribou-filled tortellini . . . and caribou stew. --Caribou is a lean, gamey meat. --The dinner runs $65, plus tax and tip. It'll be available at the restaurant from December 20th through January 6th. (Arizona Republic)

A Deer Named Rudolph Escaped From a Church Nativity Scene:

I'm not exactly sure why you'd have Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer in your church's nativity scene . . . last I heard, Santa didn't make an emergency landing in Bethlehem to serve as Mary's OB/GYN . . . but that's beside the point. --The Highland Park Church in Lakeland, Florida DOES include a deer in its nativity scene . . . a deer named Rudolph. And yesterday morning, it's almost like he KNEW he didn't belong . . . and he ESCAPED. --Rudolph broke out of the scene and started running around the area. The police got a call about the loose deer . . . they told the church . . . and church officials spread out to track Rudolph down. --They were able to grab him and bring him home without any harm. (UPI)

Stupid Social Media Trend of the Week: Sending Someone a Random Number and Having Them Publicly Respond With Their Thoughts About You:

Stupid social media trends are the chain letters of the 2010s. Here's the latest one. It's called the Number Game, and, sadly, your friends may REALLY try to suck you in. Here's how it works: --Someone sends you a private message on Twitter or Facebook containing a random number. Then you're supposed to post a public response featuring that number and your honest opinion about the person . . . but not their name. --So it's only partly anonymous . . . because when you post your opinion of someone, THEY know who you are, but no one ELSE on Facebook does. --Anyway, if your Twitter feed or Facebook wall is filling up with messages like "29. Handsome. You should have called me back" . . . now you know why. (Time)

Word of the Day: Tonguepo:

tonguepo (noun) /tung poh/ - the verbal equivalent of a typo. --Example: Did you really just rent an M. Night Shamalamalamann movie? Sorry for the tonguepo . . . I can't pronounce his name, ever since he started making sucky movies.

A New Traffic Camera Enters People Into a Lottery . . . and the Winner Gets Paid Using Fines from the People Who Speed:

Here's an idea for getting people to drive safely that someone should've thought of a long time ago. Instead of just punishing people who drive like idiots . . . how about rewarding people who don't? --Kevin Richardson of San Francisco came up with a way to do just that, and submitted his idea to a contest run by Volkswagen looking for, quote, "fun theories" to make society better. --In Kevin's plan, they'd set up a traffic camera, and if you speed past it, it records your plate and you get a ticket. If you pass it going the speed limit, it ALSO records your plate . . . to enter you in a lottery. --And the lottery prize would come from the tickets given to the people who speed. --Volkswagen's advertising firm tested it out in Stockholm, Sweden . . . and they found that in just three days, the average speed on the street dropped from about 20 miles-per-hour to about 15.5 miles-per-hour. That's about 22%. --And that drop happened even though they didn't have the power to give people tickets, just rewards. --So far, no cities have come to Kevin looking to implement the lottery camera system. But he won $3,300 and a trip to Sweden with his family for submitting the winning idea. (Consumerist)
(--Here's a video of the lottery camera test run in action . . .)

A College Professor Is Arrested For Exposing Himself To His Students During Class:

This is definitely one way to make sure that when you expose yourself, people HAVE to look. --57-year-old Raymond Taylor is a part-time accounting instructor at Kennesaw State University, just north of Atlanta, Georgia. And he was arrested for allegedly exposing himself to students . . . WHILE he was teaching a class. --According to the police report, Raymond was in the middle of teaching when suddenly, out of nowhere, he stripped down COMPLETELY NUDE. --One of his students reported it to school officials, and Raymond was arrested and charged with public indecency. --Kennesaw State also ended their contract with him, and said he won't be back to teach. (Atlanta Journal Constitution)

A Woman In Texas Gets Thrown In Jail Over Late Library Books:

If you still take books out of the library . . . and much respect if you do, you're a more cultured person than the rest of us . . . be warned. They still take overdue books as seriously as ever . . . maybe even MORE SO. --25-year-old Jessekah Few of Baytown, Texas ended up getting thrown in JAIL last week over some overdue books. --Jessekah took out some books about SEVEN years ago. She says they were destroyed in a house fire . . . but the library never stopped trying to track them down. --Finally, they went to the police . . . which is their policy if someone hasn't returned more than $200 worth of their property after multiple requests. They gave Jessekah a summons to appear in court. --When she didn't show, she was arrested. --She's out on bail now, facing a class C misdemeanor for not returning the property. That's about the equivalent of a traffic ticket. --There's no word on what books she'd taken out. (NBC 3 - Savannah)


A Newlywed Stabs Her Husband Seven Times in a Fight Over Whether To Watch "The Closer" or "Monday Night Football":

THIS is why couples should test out living together before they get married. Sure, Jesus will probably be a little bit mad at you . . . but at least you'll get to see if you can handle life together before you lock things up legally. --On Monday night, 61-year-old Deloris Holley of St. Petersburg, Florida STABBED her new husband seven times . . . all because of a fight over what to watch on TV. --Deloris and her husband, David Marion, have only been married for five months. On Mondays at 9:00 P.M., Deloris likes to watch that KYRA SEDGWICK show "The Closer" on TNT. --But this week, David wanted to watch the "Monday Night Football" game between the Patriots and the Jets . . . and wouldn't give Deloris the remote to change the channel. --They started arguing, and it got so bad that Deloris ran to the kitchen, grabbed a five-inch steak knife . . . and stabbed David SEVEN TIMES. One of the stab wounds punctured his lung, which almost killed him. --David was hospitalized, but it looks like he's going to pull through. Deloris was arrested and charged with attempted murder. Police believe that alcohol and previous fights about money might have been a factor. (CBS 10 - Tampa) (--For what it's worth, TNT airs "The Closer" at 9:00 P.M., and replays the episode at 11. And by 11, New England was BLOWING OUT the Jets, so David probably would've been fine switching to TNT. Check out Deloris'. . .)

Two Friends Rob a Bank . . . Find the Bank Slipped a GPS Tracker in with the Cash . . . and Are Arrested While Googling To Figure Out What the Tracker Is:

It's clear that 23-year-old Brittney Sykes and 19-year-old Emma Westbusing of Portland, Oregon are AMATEUR bank robbers. Because no experienced robber would go down like THIS. --On Monday, after about a month of talking about it, Brittney and Emma robbed a bank. Even without a weapon, they managed to get $1,370. But they didn't realize that the teller had slipped a GPS tracker in the bag. --They got home a few minutes later, and when they dumped out the cash, they saw the tracker . . . and PANICKED. --At first they thought it was a dye bomb, so Brittney threw it against the wall, hoping it would explode. It didn't. So Emma tried stomping on it. That didn't work either. --Finally, they decided to Google the brand name on the tracking device to figure out what it was. Meanwhile, Brittney wanted it out of the house . . . so she ran outside and, for some reason, hid it under a floor mat in her purple Hyundai Accent. --By the time the girls Googled the device, the cops had already started tracking it . . . and they got to Brittney's house and arrested both of the girls.
--Brittney and Emma were charged with federal bank robbery. (The Smoking Gun)


Do kids in organized sports really get enough exercise? The players are inactive an average of 30 minutes per practice, which is about 43% of their practice time:

One out of four detainees released from Guantanamo Bay is either engaged or "suspected of reengaging in terrorist or insurgent activities." And the number has doubled in the last two years:

A guy who was stopped for speeding in London two years ago moved to New Zealand . . . and got stopped for speeding by the same cop:

A cat that disappeared during Hurricane Katrina was returned to its family five years later:

Cops in New York gave a 49-year-old Polish woman a serious beat-down . . . after a disagreement over whether or not her dog had taken a dump:


#1.) A Girl Jumped Off a 12-Story Building Using a Homemade Bungee Cord . . . and Didn't Die:

There's a video online that supposedly shows a girl in Russia using a homemade bungee cord to jump off a 12-story building. We're not sure if it's real, but somehow she doesn't die.
(--Search for "Russian homemade bungee." It happens at :20.)

#2.) If You Want to Know What 'Double Dream Hands' Means . . . Check out this Choreographer's Ridiculous Instructional Video:

There's a choreographer named John Jacobson who does productions for stuff like the Macy's Thanksgiving's Day Parade, and one of his instructional videos is a hit online. --It's just him doing an enthusiastic demo of a dance routine, but it's pretty ridiculous. It helps that he looks like Gary Busey . . . and that he calls one of his 'awesome' signature moves "Double Dream Hands".
(--Search for "Double Dream Hands.")

#3.) Two Cats Played Patty-Cake . . . Then Argued About Who Screwed It Up?

A while ago, someone posted a video on YouTube of two cats playing patty-cake. But then someone else added voiceover for the two cats, and made it a lot funnier. In one month, the new video has gotten over four million views.
(--Search for "cats playing patty-cake what they were saying.")

#4.) A Guy In Canada Customized His Car So His Pet Buffalo Could Ride In It:

There's a guy in Edmonton, Canada who loves buffalos. He loves them so much, he chopped the top off his Pontiac convertible so his PET buffalo could ride in the passenger's seat. (--Search for "buffalo makes unusual house pet." The buffalo jumps in the car at :57.)

#5.) One Moron Shot Another Moron In the Arm While Testing a Bulletproof Vest:

If you ever test a bulletproof vest by having a friend shoot you while you're wearing it . . . make sure your friend is a good shot. There's a new video online of two morons doing exactly what I just described, and the guy gets shot in the ARM.
(--Search for "bulletproof vest fail")

#6.) A Bicycle Cop Tried to Ride Down a Flight of Stairs and Failed:

The reason we have bicycle cops is because a bike is cheaper than a squad car, and it can go basically anywhere. But apparently not everywhere. --There's a video on of a bike cop trying to ride down a flight of stairs . . . then he flips forward and face-plants at the bottom.
(--Search for "bike cop crashes down stairs.")

Check Out Dr. Phil's List of the Top Four Lies Men and Women Tell Each Other:

According to DR. PHIL, by the time the average woman turns 60, she's told around 50,000 lies. And by the time a man turns 60, he's told 100,000. That's an average of six lies a day for men, and three a day for women. --So here's Dr. Phil's list of the top four lies men and women tell each other.

#1.) Number one for both men AND women is . . . "I'm fine". So whether you're a man or a woman, if you say "I'm fine", it means you're probably NOT. Here are the other three lies MEN tell . . .

#2.) "That Doesn't Make You Look Fat." Obviously, some lies NEED to be told.

#3.) "This Is My Last Drink." (--Phone Starter: Do men really lie about drinking more than women do? And do they actually drink more, or do they just want to stay out with their friends and hang out longer?)

#4.) "I'm On My Way." Guys will say it or text it when they're not even CLOSE to being on their way.

--And now here are the other three top lies WOMEN tell . . .

#2.) "I've Got a Headache." It's the easiest way to get out of basically anything, including sex.

#3.) "This Dress Isn't New, I've Had It Forever." Guys don't understand why women buy so many clothes, and women don't want to explain themselves. So they lie about it.

#4.) "This Was Cheap. I Got It On Sale." I guess Dr. Phil thinks the main things women lie about are their wardrobe and how much they paid for it. (


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