Friday, December 10, 2010


Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones Have Been Voted Favorite Couple:

MICHAEL DOUGLAS and CATHERINE ZETA JONES have been voted Favorite Celebrity Couple in a survey of users of the dating site Here are some of the survey's other results . . .

--Most Well-Matched Couples: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith

--Most Likely to Tie the Knot: Drew Barrymore and Justin Long

--Still Has a Chance to Rekindle Their Love: Courteney Cox and David Arquette

--Most Mismatched Couple: 50 Cent and Chelsea Handler

--Most Shocking Breakup: Al and Tipper Gore

--Most Disappointing Spouse of 2010: Mel Gibson

Wesley Snipes Is Behind Bars:

Am I the only one who was getting an eerie feeling that WESLEY SNIPES was going to pull a runner and flee the country? --Well, it didn't happen. Wesley turned himself in yesterday to begin his 3-year sentence for failing to pay millions of dollars in taxes. --Snipes . . . who's 48 . . . was convicted in April of 2008, but was allowed to remain free for over two years while he mounted one unsuccessful appeal after another. --Wesley's new home is the McKean Federal Correctional Institution. It's a minimum-security joint in Lewis Run, Pennsylvania . . . which is in the Northwest corner of the state, just south of the New York state border. --E! Online says it's a pretty soft place. In fact, it's got a nickname: McKean the Dream". (???) (--Sort of like the place Martha Stewart got sent to, which was nicknamed "Camp Cupcake".) --Wesley will have dorm-style living quarters, plus a personal radio and 300 phone minutes per month. --But it won't all be a walk in the park. He'll have to work seven hours a day. His job could be anything from landscaping to food service to painting. And he'll make between 12 and 40 cents per hour. --Oh, and he won't be allowed conjugal visits. --Even though his sentence is three years, Snipes is only expected to serve about 26 months . . . as long as he keeps his nose clean.

Chelsea Handler Went After Angelina Jolie Again:

CHELSEA HANDLER went after ANGELINA JOLIE again . . . this time during an interview with KATIE COURIC for "Glamour" magazine. --She said, quote, "I'm not a fan. She just doesn't come off to me as a sincere woman. She seems like a woman that you'd really want to avoid." (--During a standup gig last week, Chelsea called Angelina the B-word, the C-word and a HOMEWRECKER.) --But Chelsea had much love for JENNIFER ANISTON . . . quote, "Jennifer makes me laugh. She's irreverent and hilarious, and she sends me really, really funny e-mails." --Elsewhere in the interview, Chelsea talked about her own brand of humor . . . quote, "I think it's important to be politically incorrect. You don't want to be nasty, and you don't want to be malicious. --"But it's okay . . . I mean, funny trumps everything in my mind."--But there ARE lines Chelsea won't cross . . . quote, "I think talking about children and their looks is not nice. Like, unattractive children. I don't do that. And I don't talk about people who are dying. I think that's inappropriate." --Chelsea also discussed being more like a guy when it comes to sex . . . quote, "I'm not a typical girl in the sense that I'm dying to get married or dying to procreate. I don't really have those desires. --"I respect them, but I do feel like more of a guy in that way. And I don't like to be tied down to one person. I don't like long-term commitments." --She also seems to be denying anything happened between her and 50 CENT . . . quote, "He came to my show in New Orleans with 15 people, and they take a photo of us and assume that we're a couple. --"But he's really cute, and I have to be honest, there's a good chance that I will end up hooking up with a rapper at some point."

Aretha Franklin May Leave the Hospital This Weekend:

We still don't know if ARETHA FRANKLIN has pancreatic cancer . . . or any kind of cancer for that matter. --But her cousin, Brenda Corbett, says she's, quote, "doing better than doctors expected", and may head home from the hospital as early as this weekend. (--We really don't know if this Brenda Corbett chick speaks officially for Aretha. She HAS been blabbing a lot to the media over the last few days. But that doesn't mean she's a legit source for information on the matter.)

Jenn Sterger Says She Won't Sue Brett Favre if the NFL Suspends Him:

The NFL is done investigating whether or not BRETT FAVRE texted pictures of his penis to former Jets employee JENN STERGER. --They haven't decided yet if they're going to punish him . . . but Jenn is eagerly awaiting their ruling. --Jenn's rep says that if the NFL SUSPENDS Brett and puts him in some kind of program to make sure he never does anything like this again, then she will NOT sue Brett, the New York Jets or anyone else.

Bea Arthur Was in the Marines During World War 2 . . . and She Got an STD:

Apparently, there's been a rumor going around for many years that BEA ARTHUR was in the Marines in the early 1940s, during World War 2. For some reason, she always denied it. --But thanks to the Freedom of Information Act, Bea's military records are now public. And it's all true. --Bea enlisted in the Marine Corps' Women's Reserve in 1943, and she served for two and a half years . . . working as both a typist and a truck driver. --It appears that Bea was a good soldier . . . although there is one blot on her record. --It seems that a misconduct report was filed against Bea late in 1944 . . . because she CONTRACTED A VENEREAL DISEASE that left her, quote, "incapacitated for duty" for five weeks. Her pay was reduced for that period.
(--You can read all about Bea's military service here . . .)

Julia Roberts Flipped Out on a Paparazzi Scumbag:

JULIA ROBERTS flipped out on a paparazzi scumbag this past Monday, after she caught him taking pictures of her family while they were out walking in Los Angeles. -Julia walked right up to the guy and got in his face. (--Check out some pics here . . .)
(--Julia has done this before. Check out some videos . . .)
(--WARNING!!! In the first video, the profanities fly from Julia's potty mouth . . .)

Josh Duhamel Is Sorry for Being a Jerk on a Plane:

JOSH DUHAMEL is finally apologizing for being a jerk last week, and refusing to turn off his phone so his flight could leave. --He was disrespectful toward the flight attendant and wouldn't stop texting, so they kicked him off the plane. --Yesterday, he told "Entertainment Tonight", quote, "I messed up. I feel like an idiot because of it. --"I meant no disrespect to the crew or the flight attendant or any of the people that were on the plane. --"That's just not the person I try to be, and I just wanted a chance to apologize to the people that were affected by it. --"I probably need to check myself into 'BlackBerries Anonymous.'"

The New "Chronicles of Narnia" Goes Up Against Johnny Depp's "The Tourist":

#1.) "Voyage of the Dawn Treader" (PG)

The third "Chronicles of Narnia" movie is set a year after "Prince Caspian" and reunites Caspian with Edmund and Lucy, the two youngest Narnia kids. Liam Neeson returns as the voice of Aslan and Tilda Swinton is back as the White Witch. --In this one, Lucy and Edmund are transported back to Narnia through a painting, along with an annoying cousin. They're taken aboard a ship built by Caspian to search for seven lords who had been loyal to the throne before it was stolen by his evil uncle. --The two older kids, Peter and Susan, only have cameos in this one. Aslan already told them at the end of the last movie that they were too old to return to Narnia.


Official Site:

#2.) "The Tourist" (PG-13)

It stars Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie. He plays an American tourist whose flirtation with a stranger gets him mistaken for an international criminal. Angelina's the chick who sets him up. But at least she regrets it once the bullets start flying.


Official Site:

Michael Bay Admits That Mistakes Were Made with "Transformers 2":

Director MICHAEL BAY is acknowledging what we've all been thinking for years now: "Transformers 2" wasn't exactly the best movie. But he's also vowing to fix that with the third installment, "Transformers: Dark of the Moon". --He says, quote, "'Transformers 2' was still an entertaining movie, but I think we failed on certain aspects. What we did with this movie is I think we have a much better script, and we got back to basics. --"It's more serious. I got rid of the dorky comedy; I mean we've got two little characters, that's it, but the dorkiness is not there. Dork-free 'Transformers'. It's much more serious. It's still entertaining; it's big looking." --By the way . . . this is going to be Michael Bay's LAST "Transformers" movie. He says, quote, "I think this has gotta be it. I think someone else will take the torch from here. --"It's just that I don't think you could do it again with Shia and everybody, I think it's time to move on."

Ed O'Neill Denies Dissing Jane Lynch . . . and "TV Guide Canada" Admits They Misquoted Him:

"Modern Family" star ED O'NEILL denies saying that JANE LYNCH didn't deserve the Emmy she won earlier this year for "Glee". --Ed tells "Entertainment Weekly", quote, "I absolutely never said, nor do I believe that Jane . . . whom I think is an enormous talent . . . was undeserving of the award. --"I reached out to her yesterday to ensure she knew I'd been misquoted . . . [and] I wanted to clear this up publicly as well." --"TV Guide Canada" published the initial story, which claimed Ed said that he didn't think Jane should have won because her "Glee" character, Sue Sylvester, was, quote, "one-note." --Instead, Ed thought his TV wife, SOFIA VERGARA, should have taken home the Emmy for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series. (--JULIE BOWEN, who plays Ed's daughter on "Modern Family", was also nominated in that category.) --"TV Guide Canada" has deleted their story, and has offered up a retraction. --It reads, quote, "'TV Guide Canada' published a story on Ed O'Neill's comment regarding [Emmy] winner Jane Lynch. Unfortunately, Mr. O'Neill's comments were misquoted, which resulted in the erroneous interpretation of his comments." --It turns out that Ed never said Jane shouldn't have or didn't deserve to win. And he also admitted that he isn't all that familiar with "Glee". --Here's the transcript of what he actually said: Quote, "I'm one of Jane Lynch's biggest fans. I love Jane. She is a genius. But at the same time I said 'Sofia could win' because . . . and I've only seen 'Glee' a couple of . . . I've only seen 'Glee' once. --"But I thought Jane's role is rather one-dimensional. It's kind of strident. It's always kind of the same. I've seen her be much better. So I thought 'Sofia's funnier,' and I think she is in these two comparative roles. --"Anyway, Jane won. But I was hoping that Sofia would." (--So Ed has no beef with Jane. He was merely rooting for his co-stars, and thought they had a chance because the Sue Sylvester character didn't blow him away in the one episode of "Glee" that he's seen. Cool. Case closed.)

E! Online's Top 10 TV Dramas of the Year:

E! Online has put out a list of their Top TV Dramas of 2010. They gave the top honors to "Lost", which completed its run this past spring. Here's the whole list:

1.) "Lost" (ABC)

2.) "Friday Night Lights" (DirecTV 101)

3.) "The Vampire Diaries" (CW)

4.) "Dexter" (Showtime)

5.) "True Blood" (HBO)

6.) "Sons of Anarchy" (FX)

7.) "Grey's Anatomy" (ABC)

8.) "Fringe" (Fox)

9.) "The Walking Dead" (AMC)

10.) "Mad Men" (AMC)

(--E! Online released its Top TV Comedies rundown earlier this week. You can find that list, here.)

A&E Has Yanked "The Hasselhoffs" After Just Two Episodes:

A&E is apparently through with "The Hasselhoffs" . . . that new reality show starring DAVID HASSELHOFF and his daughters, HAYLEY and TAYLOR ANN. --They've pulled it from their schedule after just TWO episodes. Naturally, the show seems done, but an A&E spokesperson wouldn't say it was "canceled." --The two episodes that DID air failed to attract an audience. The first drew 718,000 people . . . (--which is less than the population of Columbus, Ohio) . . . and the second one had 505,000 viewers . . . (--or the population of Cleveland, Ohio.))

WEEKEND TV REMINDERS (--Check your local listing for times in your area.)
Friday TV Reminders:

--"Tom Brokaw Presents Bridging The Divide" . . . 7:00 to 8:00 P.M. on USA. (--Tom Brokaw examines modern civil rights with a focus on racism, gay rights, equality for women, religious freedom and bullying among kids.)

--"Smallville" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on theCW. (--Hawkman, Stargirl, and the Black Canary return to help Clark find Lois after she's kidnapped by a one-eyed villain.)

--"Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team" [5th Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CMT.

--"The Good Guys" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"The Haunted" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Animal Planet.

--"Swamp Loggers" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery Channel.

--"Second Annual TeenNick HALO Awards" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Nickelodeon. (--Nick Cannon hosts awards for non-celebrity teens aiding their communities by tackling leadership roles. Presenters include Mariah Carey, Ashton Kutcher, Rosario Dawson and Wyclef Jean.)

--"Storytellers: T.I." . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1.

Saturday TV Reminders:

--"Spike TV's Video Game Awards 2010" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Spike TV. (--Neil Patrick Harris hosts the 8th annual awards for video games. You can check out all the nominees at

--"Frosty the Snowman" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on CBS.

--"Frosty Returns" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

--"It's a Wonderful Life" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.

--"The Flight Before Christmas" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. (--A new reindeer must overcome his fear of heights and learn to fly.)

--"Celebrity Ghost Stories" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Bio. (--Shelley Long, Daniel Stern, Gail O'Grady and Matt Sorum share their encounters with ghosts.)

--"Behind the Music: Green Day" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic.

--"Finding Amelia" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Discovery Channel. (--An Amelia Earhart expert believes he has found the final destination of the lost aviator.)

--"The Locator" [5th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on WE.

--"That Metal Show" [6th Season Finale] . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 Classic.

--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Paul Rudd guest hosts and Paul McCartney is the musical guest.)

Sunday TV Reminders:

--"Sunday Night Football" . . . 8:15 to 11:15 P.M. Eastern on NBC. (--The Dallas Cowboys host the Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys Stadium in Texas.)

--"Biography" . . . 7:00 A.M. to 8:00 A.M. on A&E. (--Johnny Depp is profiled.)

--"The Simpsons" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on Fox. (--"Mad Men's" Jon Hamm plays an FBI agent who seeks Homer's help in investigating Fat Tony.)

--"Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Mariah Carey performs.)

--"Amazing Race 17" [17th Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

--"Basketball Wives" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on VH1.

--"Christmas Cupid" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC Family. (--Christina Milian plays a self-centered publicist haunted by one of her clients, who leads her on a trip to see her past, present and future boyfriends.)

--"Family Guy" [Back-to-Back Episodes] . . . 8:30 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox. (--Brian and Stewie go in search of Santa at the North Pole when they get the brush off from some elves at the Quahog mall. David Boreanaz guest voices as himself.)

--"Desperate Housewives" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Juanita finds out she was switched at birth and the inmates arrive at Paul's halfway house.)

--"Hot in Cleveland" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TV Land. (--Jane Leeves, Valerie Bertinelli, Wendie Malick and Betty White look back on year's best moments and share some highlights of the upcoming season.)

--"Undercover Boss" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. (--The CEO of Johnny Rockets retro-themed restaurants goes undercover to work in his organization.)

--"Dexter" [5th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Showtime.

--"Leverage" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TNT. (--Dave Foley and Wil Wheaton guest star when the team works to restore Santa's good name.)

--"Ax Men" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the History Channel.

--"Marry Me" [Part 1 of 2] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Lifetime. (--Lucy Liu plays a social worker who is torn between three suitors who have all proposed to her.)

--"Brothers & Sisters" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Richard Chamberlain guest stars as Saul's former gay lover.)
This Year's Top-Selling Music on iTunes and Amazon:

iTunes and Amazon both released their year-end sales numbers yesterday . . . for both the best-selling albums and singles. Here's your full rundown:

iTunes' 10 Top-Selling Albums of 2010:

1.) Eminem, "Recovery"

2.) Ke$ha, "Animal"

3.) Lady Gaga, "The Fame"

4.) Lady Antebellum, "Need You Now"

5.) Taylor Swift, "Speak Now"

6.) Drake, "Thank Me Later"

7.) Mumford & Sons, "Sigh No More"

8.) The Black Eyed Peas, "The E.N.D."

9.) Jack Johnson, "To the Sea"

10.) Sade, "Soldier of Love"

Amazon's 10 Top-Selling Albums of 2010:

1.) Taylor Swift, "Speak Now"

2.) Lady Antebellum, "Need You Now"

3.) Arcade Fire, "The Suburbs"

4.) Susan Boyle, "The Gift"

5.) Eminem, "Recovery"

6.) Kanye West, "My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy"

7.) Sade, "Solder of Love"

8.) James Taylor, "Live at the Troubadour"

9.) Vampire Weekend, "Contra"

10.) Mumford & Sons, "Sigh No More"

iTunes' Top-Selling Singles of 2010:

1.) Train, "Hey Soul Sister"

2.) Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg, "California Gurls"

3.) Eminem featuring Rihanna, "Love the Way You Lie"

4.) B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams, "Airplanes"

5.) Taio Cruz, "Dynamite"

6.) Usher featuring Will.I.Am, "OMG"

7.) Taio Cruz and Ludacris, "Break Your Heart"

8.) Ke$ha, "Tik Tok"

9.) Lady Antebellum, "Need You Now"

10.) Eminem, "Not Afraid"

Amazon's Top-Selling Singles of 2010:

1.) Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dogg, "California Gurls"

2.) Eminem featuring Rihanna, "Love the Way You Lie"

3.) Bruno Mars, "Just the Way You Are"

4.) Nelly, "Just a Dream"

5.) Enrique Iglesias featuring Pitbull, "I Like It"

6.) Cee Lo Green, "(Eff) You"

7.) Rihanna, "Only Girl (In the World)"

8.) Flo Rida featuring David Guetta, "Club Can't Handle Me"

9.) Katy Perry, "Teenage Dream"

10.) Far East Movement, "Like a G6"

(--If you want MORE, you can get the Top 20 for each of these lists, here . . .)

"Billboard" Has Named Lady Gaga Its Artist of the Year:

"Billboard" has named LADY GAGA as its Top Artist of the Year. Just last year, Gaga was "Billboard's" New Artist of the Year. --Like every list "Billboard" puts out, this was not subjective. The Top Artist of the Year is determined by performance on two charts: The Billboard 200 albums list, and the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart. Here are the Top 10 Artists of the Year:

1.) Lady Gaga

2.) Taylor Swift

3.) Eminem

4.) Lady Antebellum

5.) Ke$ha

6.) Usher

7.) The Black Eyed Peas

8.) Justin Bieber

9.) Rihanna

10.) Drake
(--You can check out the full Top 100 at, here.)

And Now . . . Here's a New Michael Jackson Music Video:

The new MICHAEL JACKSON album drops next week . . . and yesterday, the video for the first single "Hold My Hand" was unleashed. --Since the video was put together after Michael died . . . it's basically what you'd expect: Classic shots of Michael performing . . . edited with images of children, fans and AKON, who sings on the track. (--Check it out . . .)

Taylor Swift Isn't Going Out for Her 21st Birthday . . . And She'll Never Feel Compelled to Get Drunk:

TAYLOR SWIFT turns 21 on Monday, and unlike most young adults who finally hit the legal drinking age . . . she's NOT planning to get completely wasted. In fact, she's not even going out that night. She's having a holiday party at her house. --Taylor tells "People", quote, "I definitely want a winter-themed birthday . . . Christmas-themed. And I'd really like to have it in my condo. I think that would be wonderful." --Taylor says she looks forward to turning 21 because she can finally go with her friends to 21-and-over clubs. She adds, quote, "Other than that, I don't think I'm going to all of a sudden start being in love with the idea of going to a club. --"I like to dance around and have fun with my friends and we have a blast, but I've never felt really compelled to be drunk and I don't think that's terribly awful."


HOWARD STERN has re-upped with Sirius XM Radio for another five years . . . and he claims they'll be his, quote, "last five years in radio." Rumor has it they're paying him $500 million.

RELATED COMEDY: Howard Stern agreed to a five-year extension with Sirius . . .
. . . The contract makes him satellite radio's highest paid personality. Let me rephrase that: It makes him satellite radio's ONLY paid personality.
. . . Stern made the announcement on his show. Which is why you didn't know about it.

LINDSAY LOHAN'S rep has flat-out denied that she's in talks to join the cast of "Dancing with the Stars".

Does KELSEY GRAMMER'S estranged wife CAMILLE have SEX TAPES they made in happier times? And is she willing to release them if he doesn't pony up mad cash during their divorce proceedings?

MICHAEL MOORE has entered a weight loss clinic.

KELLY OSBOURNE needs surgery on her feet. She says a doctor will have to, quote, "break bones in my feet and reset them."

PRINCE made a surprise appearance on "The View" yesterday . . . where SHERRI SHEPHERD told him, quote, "I have wanted to make love to you for my whole life." (???)

LARRY HAGMAN will guest star on "Desperate Housewives", as a love interest for FELICITY HUFFMAN'S mother. has released its list of the Top 30 Albums of the Year. And they decided to be ORIGINAL by NOT giving KANYE WEST the top spot.


Fifty-Seven Billionaires Have Now Pledged To Give At Least Half of Their Money To Charity:

It's getting harder and harder to remember the time when we all thought BILL GATES was evil. Because these days, he's pretty solidly positioning himself as the Greatest Guy In The World.

--In June, Gates and WARREN BUFFETT . . . two of the richest men in the world . . . teamed up to start The Giving Pledge. --By taking The Giving Pledge, billionaires would make a pledge to donate at least half of their fortunes to charity . . . either in their will, or while they're still alive. Now, half a year later, FIFTY-SEVEN billionaires have signed up, and will give hundreds of billions of dollars to charity.

--MARK ZUCKERBERG, the founder of Facebook, just took the pledge to give away at least half of his $6 BILLION. --He says he's going to start donating money now. Quote, "People wait until late in their career to give back. But why wait when there's so much to be done?" Dustin Moskovitz, one of the other founders of Facebook, also took the Giving Pledge.

--As for Gates and Buffett, Gates has donated more than $28 BILLION to his charitable organization, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. And Buffett has pledged to donate at least 99% of his $45 BILLION to the Foundation. (Yahoo) (--You can see all of the people who've taken the Giving Pledge here . . .)

American Women are Drunker, Chubbier, and Skankier Than Ever!

--According to the annual women's health report card put out by the Oregon Health and Science University, women in the U.S. are DRUNKER, CHUBBIER, and SKANKIER than EVER. God bless us, everyone. -Drunker. More women drank at least five drinks in one night in the past month. More than 10% binge drink at least once a month, up from 6.7% in 2007. --Chubbier. 26.4% of women are now considered obese, up from 24% in 2007. --Skankier. More women than ever are testing positive for chlamydia. (--And sure, that's not necessarily a GOOD statistic to show skankiness. But a sign is a sign. Wear a rubber, bro. Wear a rubber.) --The study also found some news that doctors actually consider good signs: screening rates for colorectal cancer are up . . . cholesterol is down . . . fewer women are smoking . . . and fewer are dying of a stroke or coronary heart disease. --On a state-by-state basis, Vermont and Massachusetts got the best health rankings . . . they were the only two that got a "satisfactory-minus." Louisiana and Mississippi got the worst grades. (New York Times) (--You can see all of the state rankings here . . .)

Wisconsin Has the Highest Drunk Driving Rate In the U.S. and Utah Has the Lowest:

The government just put out the results of a national survey on drunk driving and drug use, and one thing is clear: If you're taking a road trip from Montana to Wisconsin, expect to see some SWERVING. --Seven of the ten states with the highest drunk driving rates are in the north-central part of the country: Montana, Wyoming, North Dakota, South Dakota, Nebraska, Minnesota, and Wisconsin. --The other three are all clustered in the Northeast: Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island. --Wisconsin has the highest rate in the country . . . 23.7%, or about one out of four drivers, admit to driving drunk in the past year. North Dakota is second, at 22.4%. --Utah had the lowest drunk driving rate, at 7.4%, and Mississippi had the second-lowest, at 8.7%. --Overall, 13.2% of people in the U.S. age 16 and older drove drunk in the past year. --That's actually down from the mid-2000s, when 14.6% had driven drunk --But even though the percentage is down . . . 13.2% still means about 30.6 million Americans are driving drunk. --32% of all traffic-related deaths, or about 12,000 total deaths, are the result of alcohol. (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration)
(--You can see state-by-state results for drunk and drugged driving here . . .)

What Are the Ten Most Depressing Jobs In America?

"Health" magazine just put out a list of the 10 most depressing jobs in America . . . based on a study of how many people at each of those jobs suffered with MAJOR DEPRESSION in the past year. --So if you've got one of these and you're NOT depressed . . . congratulations, you're ahead of the curve. Here are the 10 jobs, in order . . .

#1.) Nursing home and child care workers.

#2.) Food service staff.

#3.) Social workers.

#4.) Health care workers.

#5.) Artists, entertainers, and writers.

#6.) Teachers.

#7.) Administrative support staff.

#8.) Maintenance and grounds workers.

#9.) Financial advisors and accountants.

#10.) Salespeople.

--Of course, in this day and age, NOT having a job is even more depressing than having a depressing job. Nursing home and child care, which was number one on this list, had an 11% major depression rate. Unemployed people came in at 12%. (Health)

More and More Companies are Using Private Detectives to Track Down Employees Who Fake Sick Days:

If you still have a lot of sick days left over, and you're thinking about using them for an extra week of Christmas vacation . . . YOUR BOSS KNOWS you're not really sick. Or, at the very least, he's suspicious. --According to the latest numbers, 57% of salaried employees in the U.S. take sick days when they're not really sick. That's up almost 20% from 2006. --So now, more and more companies are hiring PRIVATE DETECTIVES to SPY on their own employees . . . to make sure they're taking legitimate sick days. And yes, it's legal. --In 2008, a company hired an off-duty cop to track an employee they thought might be abusing her sick days. She was. She sued the company, but the courts dismissed the suit, and said a company has a right to track its workers. --There aren't any hard numbers on how many companies are tracking their employees like this . . . obviously, most of them want to keep it on the down low . . . but from all reports, it's becoming a, quote, "thriving industry." --Now . . . unless your company's EXTREMELY paranoid, if you take one or two fake sick days a year, odds are you won't get tracked down. Most companies only spend the money to track employees who are constantly taking sick days. --Fake sick days have gone up since the economy tanked because people are less likely to leave jobs they hate . . . they don't think another job is out there. But staying in a job you hate leads to low satisfaction, which leads to fake sick days. (Bloomberg Businessweek)

Neurotic People Tend To Have Bad Marriages . . . Unless They Have a Lot of Sex, In Which Case Everything's Great:

When one high-strung, neurotic head-case marries another high-strung, neurotic head-case, it seems like a clear setup for DISASTER. Crazy plus crazy doesn't equal sane. It equals DOUBLE CRAZY. --But a new study from the University of Tennessee has found a way for two neurotic people to make a marriage work. And the answer is . . . lots and lots of fornication. --The researchers found that neurotic people who have a lot of sex report the highest marital satisfaction of any neurotic couples. Couples who are neurotic and less sexual are among the MOST likely to get divorced. --So how much sex is enough? It's not even THAT much. If a neurotic couple has sex more than once a week during their first six months of marriage, and more than three times a month by their fourth year of marriage, they're golden. (UPI)

Word of the Day: Seagull Manager:

seagull manager (noun) /see gull man uh jur/ - a boss who swoops in, makes a lot of noise, poops on everything, then leaves. --Example: I won't make it home for dinner . . . Keith just did his seagull manager routine and now I have to do damage control to make sure our St. Louis clients don't freak out.

If You Find This Guy a Wife, He'll Give You 5% of His Income . . . But Keep In Mind He's 38, Unemployed, and Breeds Hamsters:

38-year-old Paul Gutierrez of Elgin, Illinois wants a wife. He wants one so bad that he's reached out to the entire world to help him . . . and he's willing to pay you for your troubles. But it's not going to be easy. --Paul isn't the best looking dog at the pound . . . he accurately describes himself as a cross between Forrest Gump and Shrek. At 38, he's unemployed . . . has almost no dating experience . . . and as a hobby, he BREEDS HAMSTERS. --He also says that he spent 17 years in love with the woman who gave him his first kiss . . . even though they never dated and she didn't really ever talk to him. And he lost his virginity to an escort. --But if you can find him a wife, he will sign legal documents offering you 5% of his future income for the entire length of the marriage. --That's not much money if he stays unemployed . . . but even if he gets a $30,000-a-year job, you'd get a cool $1,500 every year. --Paul says, quote, "Despite having a sense of humor about all of this, I'm completely sincere about my search for a wife and the price I'm willing to pay to find her." (Asylum)

A Man Went To Sell His Rolex on eBay for $10 . . . and Ended Up Getting Over $65,000:

This is one of those stories that makes you want to dig through all your boxes of old crap to see if there's anything secretly worth thousands of dollars. There isn't, but it never hurts to look. --There's a guy in his 80s from McGregor, Texas named Bob, who bought a Rolex for $70 when he was in the Navy 52 years ago. --He wore it every day for 40 years . . . there's even a random picture of him wearing it at a party with CHRISTOPHER REEVE. --About 10 years ago, he put it away and forgot about it. But a few weeks ago he was going through his drawer, found the watch, and decided to throw it on eBay and get some money for Christmas. --The starting bid was $10. But when the auction ended earlier this week, the final price was . . . $66,100. (--Check out the finished auction here.)
-Turns out Bob's watch was a rare "Bonb" Rolex Submariner Ref 5510. It's the watch that SEAN CONNERY wears in "Dr. No", "Goldfinger", and "Thunderball". It's one of the most sought-after watches in the world. (Hodinkee)

A Guy Performed CPR On a Man Outside a Convenience Store . . . Then Stole a Purse From the Dying Man's Wife:

You rarely see the transition from HERO to A-HOLE happen this quickly. --Last weekend, at a Circle K convenience store and gas station in Titusville, Florida, a man had a HEART ATTACK in the parking lot. So his wife ran into the store screaming for help. --There was a guy inside who said he knew CPR, so he went outside to try to revive the woman's husband. --And he really DID know what he was doing . . . he performed CPR until the paramedics arrived and took over. Then he hugged the wife, wished her and her husband well, and took off. --Sadly, the husband died from the heart attack at the hospital. And that's around the time the woman realized her purse was missing. -And yeah, you guessed it . . . surveillance video shows that after the guy performed CPR, he reached into the couple's car and stole the woman's jacket and purse. --No names have been released, but police are now trying to track the guy down to arrest him for burglary and theft. (Florida Today)

Some Teenagers Stole a Salvation Army Kettle . . . And One of the Kid's Parents Came Up With a *Perfect* Punishment:

Now THIS is parenting. This week, four boys between 12 and 15 years old stole a Salvation Army collection kettle outside a grocery store in Chicago, Illinois. The kettle contained about $30 worth of donations. --The boys were caught and charged with misdemeanor theft. And one of the kids' parents came up with a PERFECT punishment on top of that. --They told the police that they were taking all of the Christmas presents they bought for their son this year . . . and donating them to the Salvation Army instead. Brilliant. (Chicago Breaking News)

Men Are Two-and-a-Half Times More Likely To Buy a Gift on Their Partner's Wish List Than Women:

I'm not sure whether this shows women are COCKY when it comes to buying gifts . . . or that men are LAZY. But the numbers don't lie. --According to a new survey, men are about two-and-a-half times more likely to buy someone a gift off their wish list than women. 49% of men buy presents for their partner off their wish list . . . versus 21% of women. --The survey also found that about 80% of all presents are purchased by women. (PR Newswire)


This is the most expensive month for gas prices since September, 2008. It's expected to reach $3 on average by Christmas . . . with a "mini apocalypse" in the spring:

Police pulled over a 53-year-old man who was watching porno while driving drunk:

British people's teeth are improving! In 1978, one in four Brits had no teeth left. Now, only one in 16 are toothless. But two in five still don't go to the dentist regularly:

Police raided a strip club that was closed for code violations . . . and found a group of men and four women. But the owners claim the men were just plumbers fixing the violations . . . and the women were, quote, "bringing them coffee":

A new species of monkey was found by scientists in Burma . . . then eaten by natives:

A woman in Britain likes to breastfeed her newborn and her six year old at the same time:


#1.) A Flash Mob Did a Really Good Version of "Hallelujah" at a Mall Food Court:

Over 100 singers took part in a flash mob at a mall in Ontario, Canada last month. One by one, they stood up in the middle of the food court and started singing the "Hallelujah" chorus from Handel's "Messiah". And they nailed it.
(--Search for "Hallelujah flash mob." The first singer starts at :30.)

#2.) Two Dogs Figured Out That They Don't Need Sleds to Go Sledding:

Someone posted a video on YouTube of their Labrador Retrievers playing in the snow, and both dogs figured out how to use their bodies like sleds. They just roll over on their sides, and kick their back legs to get going. And they actually slide down pretty fast.
(--Search for "Sugarbrush dog groomers.")

#3.) The Trailer for Mel Gibson's New Movie . . . with his Infamous Phone Calls:

In case you missed it, "Jimmy Kimmel Live" took the trailer for MEL GIBSON'S new movie "The Beaver", and edited in audio from Mel's infamous phone calls. --In the movie, Mel plays a guy who talks through a beaver puppet. But now the beaver is the foul mouth. (--Search for "Jimmy Kimmel Mel Gibson The Beaver.")

Five Things You Shouldn't Do at the Office Christmas Party:

A lot of companies are having their holiday parties in the next couple weeks. So if you're going to one, here's a list from "Forbes" magazine of five things you shouldn't do at your office Christmas party . . .

#1.) Don't Be Late. The beginning of an office party is the best time to network with senior executives. And even though you probably won't get in TROUBLE for being late, it definitely won't look good.

#2.) Don't Be a Wallflower. A lot of people only talk to the same people they talk to at work every day. But even a short conversation with your boss or your BOSS'S boss can help your career.

#3.) Don't Tell Dirty Jokes. Even if everybody's having a great time and the atmosphere is relaxed, you'll probably offend someone.

#4.) Don't Show Up Your Boss. If he's carrying on about something you know more about, keep it to yourself. And if he tells a joke everyone laughs at, don't steal his thunder and tell a better one five seconds later.

#5.) Don't Lose Control. Getting drunk might not get you FIRED, but it'll still have a lasting effect on how you're thought of at work. And it'll make you the butt of a lot of jokes. --On a related note, 79% of companies plan to serve alcohol at their holiday parties this year, compared to 73% last year. The all-time high was in 2000, when 90% of office Christmas parties had booze. (

How To Tell Your Co-Workers About Your Office Romance:

It's the holiday season, which means office holiday parties are in full swing. If you recently started engaging in some inter-cubicle fornicating and want to come clean to the rest of the office, we've got five tips for WHEN and HOW to do just that.

#1.) Check the Company Handbook. Before you tell ANYONE about your office romance, check your employee handbook and make sure your relationship isn't going to jeopardize your job.

#2.) Wait Until It's Semi-Serious. Don't tell your co-workers just because you've gone on a few dates. As a general rule, once you're ready to introduce someone to your family, it's time to tell the office too.

#3.) Control the Spin. On the other hand, announcing your relationship can be tricky: You don't want to do it prematurely when you're not even sure what your status is . . . but you don't want to wait too long and be "found out" either. --So if you hear the rumor mill start swirling, it's time to come clean and clue people in before things get out of hand.

#4.) Tell Your Boss First. Of course this will depend on what type of person your boss is, but more often than not, you're going to want to tell your supervisor about your relationship before anyone else. It's better they hear it from you than someone else.

#5.) Don't Make a Big Deal Out of It. When you finally do go public with your office romance, keep the details to an absolute minimum. Basically, you're dating, you're happy right now, end of story. And if you're pressed for details . . . just don't go there. (


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