Thursday, June 9, 2011



Bret Lockett from the New England Patriots Claims He's Been Dating Kim Kardashian . . . and Kim is Threatening to Sue Him:

New England Patriots safety BRET LOCKETT told "In Touch Weekly" that he's been dating KIM KARDASHIAN for the past five months. (--It's this week's cover story. Here's a picture.) (In Touch) --Obviously, that intersects with Kim's relationship with fiancé KRIS HUMPHRIES in a most inconvenient way. --Kim denies it, of course . . . and says she doesn't even know who Lockett is. --Her legal team has already sent a letter to "In Touch", telling them to retract their story or face legal action. And Kim is threatening to sue Lockett, too. --Kim posted a statement on her blog saying, quote, "I knew when I got engaged that rumors and false stories were going to start, but this is RIDICULOUS!!!! --"This guy should be ashamed of himself. Calling up a magazine and making up an entirely fake story in a sad attempt to ruin my relationship!?!?! --"It's just shameful and this guy should feel ashamed and humiliated. Is this your pathetic attempt for attention?" --She added, quote, "I'll be damned if anyone, especially some loser I've never even met, is going to try to come between Kris and me. --"The tabloids and weekly magazines will do ANYTHING to sell copies, and in this case they decided to run a false story, knowing they had absolutely no proof that it was real. --"It's disgusting, and I will be taking legal action against 'In Touch' magazine and Bret Lockett." --But Bret is sticking by his story. He went straight to TMZ and called Kim a LIAR. --Asked how he felt about Kim possibly suing him, he said, quote, "It really doesn't bother me because when all the allegations are correct and all the facts are in place it's nothing to bother me at all." --He added, quote, "If she wants to go ahead and pursue with those actions then that's not a problem with me." -He also claimed to have EVIDENCE of their relationship . . . quote, "At the end of the day, Kim knows what happened and I know what happened, so Kim can deny this all she wants to. --"But if she wants to go the legal route and start recalling text messages and conversations and pictures and all that, then that's not a problem." --But when the TMZ guys asked Bret for details . . . like where he and Kim met . . . he seemed STUMPED, and he told them that such details are irrelevant. --Then he ranted about how he doesn't want his name in the tabloids, and he only spoke to "In Touch" because they came to HIM, and told him they were going to run the story anyway. So he figured he'd better get his side of the story out there. --Ultimately, it sounds like Bret came forward mainly because Kim is claiming she doesn't even know him. --He said, quote, "At the end of the day, I respect Kim as a woman, I respect Kim as a businesswoman . . . Kim reached out to me, I did not reach out to her. --"So for her to even go on with this . . . It would have been a totally different story if Kim had said, 'Yeah, I knew him but, you know, it didn't go this-this-this way,' you know, 'It didn't go this-that way' . . . but she didn't go that route." (--You can watch the entire eight-minute video here. This guy seems like a TOTAL JERK. But he's standing strong on his claim that he's got phone records, texts and pictures to back up his story.)

Pink Is Still Lugging Some Serious Baby Weight:

PINK just gave birth to her daughter Willow last Thursday . . . so obviously, she hasn't lost any baby weight yet. But it's not really Pink's style to hide away until she's looking her best again. --She hit the beach Tuesday with husband CAREY HART . . . and they brought the baby with them. (--Check out a pic here.) (People) (--Pink got HUGE during her pregnancy, so she's probably got some work ahead of her. )

Jennifer Connelly Had Her Baby:

JENNIFER CONNELLY and husband PAUL BETTANY have a new baby girl. They just announced that Jennifer delivered via home water birth on May 31st. --They named their new daughter Agnes. Jennifer and Paul also have a 7-year-old son . . . and Jennifer has a 13-year-old son from a previous relationship.

Adele Says Dating Someone Younger Than Her Would Be Like "[Effing] Justin Bieber":

Candy-coated British minx ADELE is only 23 years old. So she's looking for an older guy. Not too old . . . but she definitely doesn't want to go YOUNGER. --She says, quote, "I don't have a type. Never have. Older, but not as in 50. Not younger than me. I'm pretty young so it would be like [effing] Justin Bieber! Any color. Any shape. But they've got to be funny." -Adele isn't really high on the idea of dating a fellow GINGER . . . but she's willing to break that rule for one particular guy . . . quote, "I'm after PRINCE HARRY. I know I said I wouldn't go out with a ginger, but it's Prince Harry! --"I'd be a real duchess then. I'd love a night out with him, he seems like a right laugh."

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Were All Over Each Other at the NBA Finals:

Would you like to see more pictures of JUSTIN BIEBER and SELENA GOMEZ pawing and kissing each other? Because they were doing it Tuesday night during Game 4 of the NBA finals. (--Here are some pictures.) (Radar Online)

Weston Cage Took a Serious Beating from His Trainer the Other Night . . . And Now There's Video:

NICOLAS CAGE'S son WESTON took a pretty serious beating at the hands of his personal trainer Tuesday night. And now there's video to prove it. --The guy did some major GROUND-AND-POUND on Weston. That's an MMA term that basically means you're on top of the guy and you're raining down blows. (--You can check it out here. I have to admit I was actually a bit bothered by the way the people who were filming it were laughing and providing silly commentary . . . instead of thinking about maybe doing something to help.) --Despite the apparent severity of the beating, police say Weston only suffered MINOR injuries. There's still no official confirmation on TMZ's claim that Weston was being psychiatrically evaluated. (--One thing TMZ got wrong was that Nicolas Cage showed up at the hospital to be with Weston. He actually showed up at the scene of the fight, and rode to the hospital with Weston in the ambulance. Here are some pics.) (TMZ)

The Ultimate Warrior Says Hulk Hogan Is a Coke Addict . . . And that He Used to Encourage Other Wrestlers to Have Sex with His Wife Linda:

For some reason, the death of "MACHO MAN" RANDY SAVAGE awoke some kind of DEMON in THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR. --Ever since Randy died, Warrior has been threatening to post a video exposing his longtime enemy HULK HOGAN as a two-faced scumbag. --Yesterday, he unleashed a seven-minute preview of that video . . . which he promises will be a full 55 minutes long. And the preview alone is pretty scandalous. --He starts off by refuting Hogan's claim that he had made his peace with Savage before his death. He says, quote, "Let's get real, man, you didn't reconnect with Randy. --"I mean, you're a real piece of [crap]. You just recently reconnected with a friend you hadn't spoken to in 10 years? Ten years there was silence between you and Randy." --He also blames Hulk and his then-wife LINDA for the breakup of Randy's marriage to MISS ELIZABETH. (--Hogan's real name is TERRY BOLLEA, by the way. And you'll hear Warrior call him "Terry" numerous times.) --Then he really lets loose . . . calling Hulk a COKE HEAD. He says, quote, "There are days, Terry, where you do nothing but sit around and snort cocaine. Terry, you truly are a dope head. You have been into getting high and doing dope for years." --He also accuses Hogan of turning other people into junkies just to keep them in line . . . quote, "You were so fearful of confrontation that you assisted other guys in keeping them junkies just so you could have control over them." --It gets even worse. Warrior accuses Hulk and Linda of having had an OPEN MARRIAGE. He says, quote, "You were both whores that did slutty stuff on the side. Neither one of you had a problem with the other one getting thrills on the side. --"In fact, Terry, you tried to get ME to sample those thrills. You know, being the only wrestler that said 'no' to so many things in wrestling, I bet I'm the only guy that ever said no to doing your wife." (--That's the big stuff so far. But he also attacks Hulk and Linda's new, young lovers . . . Hulk's son Nick . . . and Hulk still wearing a do-rag at his age.) (--WARNING: The video contains uncensored profanity. Check it out here.) --Hulk Hogan has heard what the Warrior has to say. And he plans to answer . . . IN COURT. He's already alerted his attorney . . . and a lawsuit may be imminent. --As far as Warrior's allegations, Hulk says, quote, "None of that ever happened. This guy is out of his mind."


The J.J. Abrams / Steven Spielberg Movie "Super 8" Hits Theaters Tomorrow:

#1.) "Super 8" (PG-13)

It's set in 1979, when a group of kids making a movie on 'Super 8' millimeter film accidentally capture footage of a military train crash. And when they watch it . . . they notice something alien escaping from the wreckage. --It's the long-awaited sci-fi collaboration between Steven Spielberg, who's producing, and director J.J. Abrams . . . the guy behind "Lost" and the "Star Trek" reboot. --Elle Fanning is one of the kids, and Kyle Chandler from "Friday Night Lights" is the town sheriff and the father of one of the boys. (Trailer #1) (Trailer #2)

#2.) "Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer" (PG)

This is a kids' movie based on the "Judy Moody" book series. It's about a third grader who decides to evaluate the quality of her summer break by assigning points to every fun and exciting thing that she and her friends do. --Heather Graham plays her aunt Opal, and Judy is played by a little girl named Jordana Beatty. (Trailer)
Chuck Norris and Jennifer Love Hewitt are the Worst Actor and Actress of the Past 26 Years:

CHUCK NORRIS and JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT are the worst actor and actress of the past 26 years. And that's not just my opinion. There are numbers to back me up. --Have you ever heard of the website Here's what they do in a nutshell: They take every review they can find of a particular movie . . . hundreds in some cases . . . and decide whether each one is a positive or negative review. --Then they give the film a Tomatometer rating . . . which is just its percentage of good reviews. --"The Dark Knight", for instance, has a 94% rating . . . because it had 260 good reviews and only 18 bad. Meanwhile, M. Night Shyamalan's "The Last Airbender" has a 6% rating. That's 162 BAD reviews vs. 11 good ones. --So, back to Chuck and Jennifer . . . --The website decided to poke around using Rotten Tomatoes' data, and compile some information on movies, actors and directors since 1985 . . . meaning, over the past 26 years. --And they determined that Chuck Norris is indeed the WORST ACTOR of that time period. In total, his films since 1985 have an average score of only 18.4. (--His films during that period include "Delta Force", "Top Dog" and "Sidekicks".) --Jennifer Love Hewitt has an average rating of 18.9. (--Her movies include the two "Garfield" and "I Know What You Did Last Summer" flicks.) --As for the BEST actor, it's a French guy named Daniel Auteuil, who's been in NOTHING you've ever heard of. (--He was once married to Emmanuelle Beart, who was in the first "Mission: Impossible" movie.) --If we go strictly American, the winner is "Cheers" actor JOHN RATZENBERGER. Why him? Mainly because he's had a part in EVERY Pixar movie to date. His rating is 76.1. --The best actress is, again, someone you've never heard of: Lebanese actress Arsinée Khanjian. --But the best American actress is AMY MADIGAN, from "Gone Baby Gone" and "Field of Dreams". She has a 72.8 rating. --The Best Director over the past 26 years is British-born MIKE LEIGH . . . whose films include "Secrets and Lies" and "Another Year". His rating is 92.1. --The best AMERICAN director is ETHAN COEN, with an 84.3. (--Ethan and his brother Joel are the men responsible for such films as "Raising Arizona", "The Big Lebowski", "O Brother, Where Art Thou" and "Burn After Reading".) --Finally, the "honor" of WORST DIRECTOR goes to DENNIS DUGAN. Not that the guy probably cares much, because he's FILTHY RICH. --See, he's ADAM SANDLER'S director of choice. His films include "Happy Gilmore", "Big Daddy", "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry", "You Don't Mess with the Zohan", "Grown Ups" and the upcoming "Jack and Jill". --His average is 23.6.

"The Lone Ranger" Will Hit Theaters in December of 2012:

The new "Lone Ranger" movie has been given a release date of December 21st, 2012. --The movie stars ARMIE HAMMER in the title role, and JOHNNY DEPP as his Native American sidekick Tonto. --Although, from what we've heard, this'll be a slightly more PC version of the story . . . with the Lone Ranger and Tonto being on more equal footing. --It's being directed by GORE VERBINSKI . . . who directed Johnny in the first three "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies and the animated flick "Rango".

Leonardo DiCaprio Might Play a Villain in Quentin Tarantino's Western . . . But Will Smith is Probably Out:

LEONARDO DICAPRIO is in talks to play one of the lead villains in QUENTIN TARANTINO'S upcoming Western, "Django Unchained". It's about a slave who teams up with a bounty hunter to find his wife. --Leo would play a plantation owner who wins Django's wife in a poker tournament. --By the way . . . the word is that WILL SMITH won't be playing Django after all. For whatever reason, talks with Will kind of cooled down, and now Tarantino is considering other actors, including JAMIE FOXX and IDRIS ELBA.


New "Star Trek", "Top Gun", and "Spiderman" Game Trailers From E3:

Awesome trailers keep rolling in off the E3 show floor. Here's another batch of game previews from this year's gaming conference that we thought you'd be interested in . . .

--"uDraw" - The uDraw tablet is a console accessory that lets you use a stylus to draw images on your screen. There are versions for the Wii, PS3 and Xbox 360. It comes with a game called "uDraw Studio", but you can also buy a version of "Pictionary". And Wii users can also pick up "Kung Fu Panda 2" and "Sponge Bob" drawing games.

--"Star Trek" - This is set between the events of the 2009 J.J. Abrams "Star Trek" reboot and the sequel that's slated for release in 2012. The PS3 version will include a snap-on phaser attachment for the PS Move controller.

--"Spider-Man: Edge of Time" - Peter Parker teams up with the Spider-Man from 2099 to fix the time stream after a scientist changes the future so that Peter Parker DIES. It will be out on Xbox 360, PS3, PC, the Wii, Nintendo DS and Nintendo 3DS this fall.

--"Top Gun: Hard Lock" - A new aerial combat game for "Top Gun" fans that features a new cast of hotshot pilots. It will be released on PS3, Xbox 360 and PC next year.

--"Fable: The Journey" - This Xbox exclusive title is the fourth game in the series and the first "Fable" game to make use of the Kinect for casting spells.

--"Final Fantasy XIII-2" - The 14th "Final Fantasy" is a direct sequel to #13 . . . and it looks just as insane and sexy as the last one. It hits PS3 and Xbox 360 in early 2012.

--"Street Fighter X Tekken" - This crossover fighting game for the PS3 and Xbox 360 features classic characters from both series, including Chun Li, Ryu, Cammy, and Sagat from "Street Fighter", and Julia Chang, Bob, King, and Hwoarang from "Tekken".

--"Human Tetris" - We haven't seen a trailer for this one yet, but Xbox is making a Kinect version of the gameshow "Hole in the Wall". (Game Stills) (Hole in the Wall)

Highlights from Meredith Vieira's Last Day on the "Today" Show:

MEREDITH VIEIRA'S five-year run on the "Today" show ended yesterday, and they spent three hours saying goodbye to her. Here's a quick rundown of what happened: --Meredith's husband Richard Cohen and their dog Jasper were on hand for the festivities . . . along with all the various "Today" show anchors and personalities. --The goodbye included highlight clips of Meredith's most memorable moments, special tribute clips from celebrities like JACK BLACK and JAY LENO, and personal comments from her co-workers. --CAROLE KING sang "You've Got a Friend" . . . and the whole staff performed an elaborate, live, lip-synched version of JOURNEY'S "Don't Stop Believin'", in a single take, with cameos by ABE VIGODA and JIMMY FALLON. --Meredith had this to say: Quote, "It's a hard one. [I have] very mixed emotions. I know it's right, but it's hard . . . Life is about changing. I love you all, you are the best bar none, it's such a family and it's really hard to leave a family . . . --"So I'm not going to say goodbye, at all . . . all of you I'm putting in my heart so I'll never ever lose you. I love you so much." Meredith is leaving "Today" to spend time with her real family. She made the announcement a month ago. (--Here's video of the show's opening . . . video of the tributes including Jack Black and Jay Leno . . . video of the goodbyes from the "Today" anchors . . . and finally, video of the kinda awesome "Don't Stop Believin'" spectacle.)

Is "Desperate Housewives" Coming to an End?

"Desperate Housewives" will kick off its EIGHTH season this fall, and it might be the FINAL season . . . even though the cast is signed for a ninth season. Apparently, the ratings for the eighth season will be monitored closely, and the future is up in the air. --FELICITY HUFFMAN'S husband WILLIAM H. MACY let the cat out of the bag . . . assuming this is worthy of being a bagged cat . . . when he told reporters at some TV event that Felicity, quote, "has one more year of 'Desperate Housewives'." --That left Felicity to do some damage control, but she basically conceded that the show's future is dependent on the ratings this season. --She said, quote, "No, that's not been decided yet, but I love that Bill is spreading rumors. No, we're signed up for two more years. It depends on the ratings whether we'll actually go two more years or not, but we're keeping our fingers crossed. --"I'd like to go two more years. I love the work, I love working from home . . . it's the job of a lifetime, so I hope it goes two more years, but maybe it's just one more year. It depends on how we do." --No one else from "Desperate Housewives" has commented.

Michelle Obama Will Guest Star on "iCarly":

First Lady MICHELLE OBAMA will guest-star on an upcoming episode of Nickelodeon's "iCarly". There's no airdate yet, but it's expected to air in January. --The episode was specifically written for Michelle, and she's doing it to promote the Joining Forces initiative, which raises awareness and support for military families. --Here's the plot: "Carly's best friends set up a web chat so she can talk to her dad [who's in the military] on his birthday. But Michelle discovers it, and comes to have a chat with them in the most positive way possible." (???)

A Lot of People Watched the "Oprah" Finale . . . But It Wasn't Oprah's Most-Watched Episode of All Time:

The final numbers are in: Around 16.4 million people watched the final episode of "Oprah" last month. That was Oprah's most-watched episode in more than 18 years, but it wasn't her highest-rated episode of all time. --That distinction goes to an episode that aired on February 15th of 1993, which was titled "Why I Love Older Women". That one was watched by 17.3 million viewers . . . and there's NO explanation why. (--But I can guess: Because MILFS ROCK!) --The two episodes before the finale . . . with all the celebrities and fanfare . . . drew 12.3 million and 13 million viewers respectively.

Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"The NBA Finals" [Game 5] . . . 9:00 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ABC. (--The Dallas Mavericks host the Miami Heat.

--"Jimmy Kimmel Game Night" features Ron Artest and Usher as his guests. It airs before the game on the East Coast . . . and after the game on the West Coast.

--"So You Think You Can Dance" [Results Show] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--The top 20 dancers are announced.)

--"Nightmare Next Door" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ID.

--"The Real Housewives of New York City" . . . 10:00 to 11:15 P.M. on Bravo.

Elvis Presley Once Handed Alice Cooper a Gun and Told Him to Shoot Him . . . and Alice Almost Did It:

ELVIS PRESLEY'S tragic death could've been even earlier, sadder, more bizarre and more DEFINITE than it ended up being . . . if ALICE COOPER had shot him in the head as Elvis requested. Here's the story: --Alice tells the "Daily Mirror" that in 1971 . . . when he was 23, and just starting his career . . . he was invited to Elvis' penthouse in Las Vegas. LIZA MINNELLI and porno actress LINDA LOVELACE were also there. --He explains, quote, "Elvis took me into the kitchen, opened a drawer and pulled out a loaded pistol, telling me to put it to his head. I recognized it straight away, a snub .32. I didn't know what to do. --"I had this gun in my hand and was expecting one of his security to come in any second, see me holding a weapon and shoot me dead. A little voice in my ear was telling me, 'Go on, this is history, kill him, you'll always be the guy who killed Elvis.' --"In my other ear was another voice saying, 'You can't kill him, it's Elvis Presley . . . wound him instead, you'll only get a few years!'" --Fortunately, Alice didn't have to decide what to do. Elvis did for him. Alice says, quote, "A fraction of a second later Elvis did a flying kick on the gun, and sent it flying, before tripping me and pinning me to the ground by my neck, announcing . . . --"'That's how you stop a man with a gun.'"

The Guys in Duran Duran Demand Specific High-End Wines on Tour:

The guys in DURAN DURAN really know their wines. got a hold of their current tour rider . . . and they make some pretty specific wine demands. Here's what they have under the "Wine and Champagne" section of the rider:

--"3 bottles of excellent quality Italian red wine - Sassicaia, Solaia or Tignanello - vintages between '89 and '97.

--"2 bottles of excellent quality white wine - Corton Charlemagne preferred - vintages 1996, 1999, 2001, 2002, 2004.

--"2 bottles of good quality Champagne - Veuve Clicquot or Bollinger preferred."

--The band also requests Patrón Silver tequila . . . and warns, quote, "Do not supply regular tequila." They did not say what the ramifications would be if they DID receive regular tequila . . . or Corton Charlemagne from, say, 1998.

A Metallica Version of Monopoly Is on the Way:

METALLICA is getting their own version of Monopoly. The game will be available beginning sometime next week on their website. (--Here's a picture of the box . . . and here's the direct link to the online store.) --Metallica isn't the first band to have its own Monopoly game. KISS has one, naturally, as well as The Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Elvis Presley, the Grateful Dead among others.
Beyoncé's Album Leaked . . . and She "Appreciates" the Positive Response It's Getting from Fans:

BEYONCÉ'S new album, "4", has leaked online almost two full weeks before its June 28th release date. But Beyoncé doesn't seem to be sweating it. --She posted a Facebook message saying, quote, "My music was leaked and while this is not how I wanted to present my new songs, I appreciate the positive response from my fans. --"When I record music I always think about my fans singing every note and dancing to every beat. I make music to make people happy and I appreciate that everyone has been so anxious to hear my new songs."

Check Out a Video of Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber in a "Biebershop Quartet":

Remember that website Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber? Well, it inspired the BBC to produce a comedy video of "lesbians" who look like Justin singing in a "Biebershop Quartet." (--You can check it out here.) (--For the record, the "lesbians" seem to be lip-syncing. Some of those voices are too deep to be coming from even the most masculine lesbians.) (--Also, we're not totally sure those are lesbians. Some of them might be dudes. It's really hard to tell. But if they ARE all women, then kudos to the casting director.)

Lady Gaga Is Still #1 on the "Billboard" Chart . . . and Death Cab For Cutie Had the Week's Highest Debut at #3:

LADY GAGA tops the "Billboard" chart for a second week, moving another 174,000 copies of "Born This Way". It's a steep drop off from the 1.1 million copies she sold last week, but that's what happens when Amazon is no longer selling your album for 99 cents. --The week's highest debut comes from DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE'S "Codes and Keys", which sold 102,000 copies in 3rd place. And PEARL JAM'S EDDIE VEDDER scored his first top 10 solo record with "Ukulele Songs". It moved 71,000 copies in 4th place.

1.) "Born This Way", Lady Gaga (174,000 copies)

2.) "21", Adele (121,000 copies)

3.) (NEW) "Codes and Keys", Death Cab For Cutie (102,000 copies)

Taylor Swift Won Video of the Year at Last Night's "CMT Music Awards":

There were no huge winners at last night's "CMT Music Awards" . . . although one could argue that JASON ALDEAN was the biggest loser. He had the most nominations, four, but came up totally empty. --TAYLOR SWIFT did take home the top award. Her song "Mine" won Video of the Year . . . thanks to what I'm guessing were endless throngs of teens texting in votes until their fingers bled. --MIRANDA LAMBERT'S song "The House That Built Me" kept its winning streak alive by winning Female Video of the Year. The song has also won a CMA, an ACM and a Grammy. --As for as the show itself, the opening of Taylor Swift and SHANIA TWAIN doing a parody of "Thelma & Louise" lived up to the hype. A couple of surprises included KENNY ROGERS and comedian RON WHITE. (--Here's that video.) --Speaking of teens . . . OMG, JUSTIN BIEBER was in the house. --Justin and RASCAL FLATTS won Collaborative Video of the Year for the song "That Should Be Me". When they hit the stage to accept the award I heard the loudest ear splitting screams ever at a country awards show. --THE BAND PERRY showed you can be "cute as buttons" and still have mad skills. Especially KIMBERLY PERRY, who broke away at one point to sing and play piano alone. She could lose her brothers and still have a kickass career. Just sayin'. --NFL studs CLAY MATTHEWS and HINES WARD were pretty funny. Who's going to say otherwise? --And now to the two events that were burning up the web after the show ended. The first was a gracious upskirt provided by SHERYL CROW after she and KID ROCK finished their duet of "Collide". --Sheryl even admitted it later on stage saying quote, "People are tweeting that when I stood up from the stool, my underwear was showing". (--Here's a photo.) --The other YouTube moment was Shania Twain falling on her backside when she came out to present the Male Video of the Year award. (--Here's that moment.) --Every country music awards show has at least one heart-tugging moment. Last night it was SUGARLAND performing their song "Stand Up" for the tornado victims. They also somehow reunited a family separated by the tornado.

Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

In honor of National Ice Cream Week, Del Monte made a popsicle in the image of DAVID HASSELHOFF. It seems to be a British thing, though, because the promo video was shot in England, where Hoff is currently judging "Britain's Got Talent". It's not clear if you can buy them here. (Full Story)

The not-always-reliable "Star" tabloid says that SURI CRUISE has a $150,000 shoe collection. (Full Story)

Commenting on her Fox News nip-slip, KHLOE KARDASHIAN said, quote, "At least it's not my vagina, who wants to see that?" (Video)

If the producers of "The Hangover Part 2" can't settle the lawsuit filed by MIKE TYSON'S tattoo artist before the movie hits DVD, they might digitally alter the tattoo on ED HELMS' face for the DVD release. (Full Story)

People close to ALEC BALDWIN . . . including his rep . . . think he might run for mayor of New York City. (Full Story)

CHRIS COLFER, who plays Kurt on "Glee", has scored a book deal. His first novel will be called a kids book called "The Land of Stories". It's for eight- to 12-year-olds, and will be out sometime NEXT summer. (Full Story)

JOSH LUCAS will play Mitch McDeere in NBC's new series based on "The Firm". That's the same character TOM CRUISE played in the 1993 movie. (Full Story)

As expected, JA RULE was sentenced to two years in prison yesterday. Before heading to the clink, he told his family, quote, "Real life is a fantasy, [eff] fame . . . I'm ready for this to get over with. I am focused." (Full Story)

And Now, a Picture of Anthony Weiner's Fully-Exposed Wiener:

When Democratic congressman ANTHONY WEINER got busted for tweeting photos of his package last week, we all knew it was a matter of time until a shot of his FULLY EXPOSED junk hit the internet. And that time is now. -Andrew Breitbart . . . the conservative commentator who runs the website that posted the original photos . . . has been carrying around a leaked photo of Weiner's wiener on his iPhone. --But he said he didn't want to release the picture because, quote, "I don't think I want to put his family through that type of thing." --No . . . instead he's just been showing the picture to people privately. Yesterday he showed it to some radio hosts (--Opie and Anthony on Sirius XM). They took a picture of his phone with the exposed junk . . . and then THEY posted it. --The picture's kind of blurry, but once you look at it for a second it's clear what you're looking at. You can't see Weiner's face . . . but yesterday Weiner admitted he had sent, quote, "explicit photos." (Gawker)

Anthony Weiner's Wife is Pregnant:

So Representative ANTHONY WEINER has confirmed that he sent explicit photos to women online . . . but his wife is staying with him. And this might be a HUGE reason why. --His wife, Huma Abedin, is allegedly THREE-MONTHS PREGNANT. --Three different anonymous sources said Weiner and his wife had been trying to conceive for a while, and were finally successful earlier this year. --Abedin is 35 years old, Weiner is 46. --Eleven weeks ago, they put their two-bedroom condo in Queens, New York up for sale . . . which could mean they felt they needed more space to start a family. --Abedin works as an aide to HILLARY CLINTON . . . which is almost too ridiculously fitting . . . and yesterday she left on a trip with Clinton to Africa. (New York Times)

Three Out of Five Women Say It Would Be "Creepy" to Get Nude Photos From a Guy:

America's athletes, actors, and politicians keep getting busted for sending nude photos to random women. --The social dating website Zoosk just published the results of a survey that confirmed what basically any woman will tell you: Male nudity generally isn't the seduction technique that celebrities think it is. --61% of women surveyed, or three out of five, say that it's, quote, "CREEPY" to receive nude or semi-nude photos from a guy. --But . . . men don't share that opinion when it comes to receiving nude photos of women. --74% of men, or three out of four, say that it's, quote, "SEXY" to receive nude or semi-nude photos from a female. (PR Newswire)

What Day of the Week Are People Most Likely to Have Relations? Here Are the Seven Days, In Order:

The online adult love toy store Adam and Eve just released the results of a survey where they asked people what days of the week they prefer getting-it-on. So here are all seven days, ranked by fornication popularity. (--Keep in mind, people could choose more than one day.)

#1.) Saturday, 30% generally have relations on Saturdays.

#2.) Friday, 22%.

#3.) Sunday, 20%.

#4.) Wednesday, 14%.

#5.) Monday, 13%.

#6.) Thursday, 13%.

#7.) Tuesday, 12%.

--65% of the people surveyed . . . or two-thirds . . . say that they really don't care WHAT day it is: When it's time to go, it's time to go. (PR Newswire)

A Quarter of Pet Owners Share Their Bed With Their Pet:

This survey is out of England, but we're pretty sure it applies over here. In fact, if anything, the numbers might even be HIGHER over here. Because the Brits might love their pets . . . but we're psychotically obsessed with ours. --According to the survey, one out of four people say they regularly share their bed with their pet. --16%, or almost one out of six, share the bed with their pet every single night. --Women are more likely than men to sleep in bed with a pet, 27% to 22%. --And finally, we offer this last piece of info from the survey without commentary: 4% of pet owners make sure their pet wears PAJAMAS in bed. (BBC)

90% of People Would Rather Lose Their Wallet Than Their Smartphone:

Based on the results of a new survey, if a mugger went up to the average person and demanded their wallet, the most common reaction afterward would be . . . "Wow, thank God he didn't take my iPhone." --In the survey, 90% of Americans . . . that's nine out of ten . . . say that they'd rather lose their wallet than their smartphone. --The people in the survey said the phone would be more expensive to replace than their wallet . . . contained more valuable personal info than their wallet . . . and makes them feel more like they EXIST AS A PERSON than their wallet. (eReleases)
A College Is Begging Google to Take New Satellite Photos of Their Campus . . . Now That They've Removed the Giant Lawn Penises:

Back in 2009, some students at Fairfield College in Chartwell, New Zealand pulled a pretty aggressive prank. Using weed killer, they burned outlines of TWO HUGE MALE ORGANS onto two large fields on campus. --But they didn't realize that shortly after their prank, satellite photos were taken of the campus. And those photos were the ones that made it onto Google Maps. --And that's where they've remained ever since. So now, two years later, when you look at Fairfield College on Google Maps, you see the peens. --Fairfield has since replaced the fields and is now completely genitalia-free. So the head of the school, Gerhard van Dyk, is now PLEADING with Google to get some new satellite photos up of the school. --So far, no word from Google. ( (--Here's a link to the map where you can see the lawns. They are just about smack in the middle of this satellite photo.)

A Global Poll Decides That the Funniest People In the World Are . . . Americans:

It's about time the rest of the world recognized how HI-larious we Americans are. --In a new global poll by the website, over 30,000 people in 15 countries ranked Americans as the world's funniest people. --We beat out the Spanish, who came in second, and the Italians, who came in third. --To the surprise of no one, Germans were ranked the least funny. They beat out the Russians and the Turks. --The British, who take serious pride in their dry, sophisticated wit . . . you know, intelligent, subtle comedy like Mr. Bean and Benny Hill . . . came in seventh. --The Brazilians were fourth, the French were fifth, and the Mexicans were sixth., the company that ran the survey, is based out of England. (Reuters U.K.)

A Missing Elderly Couple From Texas Turns Up In Florida . . . Because They Made One Wrong Turn and Drove 524 Miles In the Wrong Direction:

On Sunday, 78-year-old Salomon Gasca and his wife, 73-year-old Lorenza Gasca, were at brunch with their family in Houston, Texas. Then they got in the car to drive to another relative's house about a mile away. --But they never showed up. --Finally, after several hours, their family members called the police and reported them missing. --After THREE DAYS of being missing, police finally got a hit on their license plate . . . 524 miles east, in Pensacola, Florida. --Apparently, Salomon and Lorenza made one wrong turn during their one-mile drive to their relative's house and just kept driving. And driving. And driving. --The police in Pensacola checked them into a motel. Both are on blood pressure medication but seemed to be alright. --Their daughter got in her car and drove to Florida to get them. (--Let's hope she doesn't end up in Arizona.) (Houston Chronicle)

A Team of Soldiers Returns Home From Afghanistan on Delta Air Lines . . . And Gets Hit With $2,800 In Baggage Fees:

EVERYONE wants to support our troops. Even the airlines. Unless it gets in the way of their precious baggage fees. --Earlier this week, a team of U.S. soldiers returned home from Afghanistan. They flew Delta, and had to bring all their gear home with them. --Their baggage fees for the trip? $2,800 total, which they had to pay out of their own pockets. --Under Delta's policy, military members would get three free checked bags in coach and four in first class. These guys had more luggage than that, so they were charged. That's not cool . . . but it is Delta's policy. --After this story broke online, Delta apologized and changed their policy to allow U.S. military members traveling on orders to check four free bags in coach and five in first class. The bags can weigh up to 70 pounds. --There's no word on whether they plan to refund the $2,800 to the soldiers who were charged. (Gadling)


Police In New York Are Looking For a One-Armed Man Who Robbed a Bank:

You know a pun is obvious when even the mainstream media goes for it. On Tuesday, in Albany, New York, a ONE-ARMED MAN robbed a credit union. And according to the "Albany Times-Union" newspaper, he did it . . . single-handedly. (--HI-YO!) --The police say the man walked into the credit union branch and demanded money. He didn't say that he had a weapon . . . in other words, he was unarmed. (--That's not from the article. That one's all me.) --The teller gave him some cash and he left. The cops have his description but when it comes to leads on tracking him down . . . they're stumped. (Albany Times-Union)

In Spain, Police Arrested a Thief Who Curled Up In a Suitcase, Had a Friend Load Him Onto a Bus, Then Stole From Other Luggage:

Contortionists always make the best thieves. In Barcelona, Spain, the police have arrested an incredibly FLEXIBLE thief who pulled off some pretty brilliant crimes. --The man would curl up in a SUITCASE, then have a friend load him into the luggage compartment of an airport bus. Once the bus was moving the man would get out of the suitcase and steal things from other people's luggage. --Then, he'd get BACK IN the suitcase and at the end of the trip, his friend would carry him off. The police finally caught on and intercepted his suitcase. When they opened it, they found him inside and arrested him. (AFP)

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Hershey's has introduced their new 'aerated' milk chocolate, which is filled with tons of little air bubbles. It's marketed as a, quote, "light and airy texture to melt on your tongue." You know . . . not as a way to give you more air and less chocolate or anything like that. (Full Story)

There's a big E. coli scare in Europe right now. But you'll be happy to know that in the U.S., salmonella is on the rise, and is replacing E. coli as the top source of food poisoning. (Full Story)

A guy in Indiana was busted by the FBI after his ex-wife posed as a 17-year-old girl on Facebook, got him to admit he installed a tracking device in her car, and to say that he was, quote, "going to find someone to take care of her." (Full Story)

Photo of the Day: A kid at a Texas Rangers game brought a sign offering his piggy bank to the batter who hit his brother with a foul ball. (Full Story)

A 25-year-old woman and her 40-year-old male friend were killed in Ottawa, Canada Monday night, when an oncoming car hit a 300-pound bear . . . sent it flying through the air . . . and through their windshield. The bear was killed too. (Full Story)


#1.) A Drunk Guy Staggered Through the Streets of London . . . And Five Different Security Cameras Caught Him Falling Down:

Here's a guy who woke up with a hangover and A LOT of bruises: That British tabloid "The Sun" posted a video called the "Greatest Drunk Walk Ever." The guy in the video falls five times, including three times on one flight of stairs. --And the fall at the bottom of the steps is the best because he flips over the handrail, lands on his head, and somehow doesn't break his neck. His last fall is great too: He takes a face-first dive into a construction barricade. --The video includes footage from five different security cameras. (--He falls at :04, :12, :21, 41, and 1:04.)

#2.) A Kid Did a Cartwheel at His Graduation and Crashed Into the Podium:

There's a new video on YouTube called "Graduation Show Off Fail" where a kid does a cartwheel on stage . . . and crashes into the podium. I don't know where the graduation took place, but the school counts at least two weirdos among its alumni: --Because the kid right before him is an oddball too. Instead of the normal cap and gown, he's in a leather jacket. And he fist-bumps one of the teachers. (--The first guy comes on stage at :13, and the cartwheel happens at :30.)

#3.) UPDATE: The Facebook Tattoo Video Was a Hoax!

It turns out the video of a woman getting tattoos of 152 Facebook friends was just a hoax. It was all over the Internet earlier this week and racked up over 600,000 views on YouTube. --But it was a publicity stunt by a tattoo artist in the Netherlands who used temporary tattoos that wash off after a few days.
The Four Most Helpful Facts From the 2011 Sunscreen Guide:

If the hot weather has you making outdoor plans for this weekend, a non-profit called the Environmental Working Group recently published its "2011 Sunscreen Guide." -It rates the effectiveness of 1,700 different sunscreens, lip balms, moisturizers, and make-up brands. But here are the four most helpful tips that you might not know about.

#1.) You Shouldn't Waste Money on an SPF Higher Than 50. According to the FDA, an SPF 75 doesn't offer any more protection than an SPF 50 does. And ultra-high SPFs tend to make people too confident, and less likely to reapply.

#2.) Women Are Much Better About Sun Block Than Men Are. 78% of women wear sunscreen compared to just 34% of men. -So if you want to make sure your husband or your son doesn't burn this weekend, you might have to remind them more than once . . . which you're probably used to.

#3.) Specific Ingredients Offer Better Protection. Look for zinc, titanium dioxide, avobenzone, and Mexoryl SX. All of them block UV-A rays, and they stay on the surface of your skin instead of being absorbed by it.

#4.) Don't Use Sunscreen That Has Insect Repellent Unless You Have To. All the facts aren't in yet, but insect repellent might cause cancer. And it doesn't make much sense to GIVE yourself cancer while you're trying to PREVENT cancer. (Reader's Digest)


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