Friday, June 3, 2011


Bradley Cooper and Olivia Wilde are "Definitely" Hooking Up:

According to "Us Weekly", BRADLEY COOPER and OLIVIA WILDE are, quote, "DEFINITELY hooking up." And you know what that means: There's at least a 25% chance they're hooking up. --Bradley and Olivia were flirting at a party for "The Hangover Part 2" and, apparently, that wasn't a fluke. They've been spending a lot of time together lately. --An anonymous source says they met when Olivia read for a part in Bradley's movie "Limitless" . . . which she obviously didn't get, since she wasn't in the movie. Both Bradley and Olivia ended long-term relationships in March.

Ellen Barkin Has a Live-In Boyfriend Who's Half Her Age:

Back in 1982, ELLEN BARKIN was 28 and had her breakout role in the movie "Diner". It was directed by BARRY LEVINSON. Three years later, he would have a son named Sam. --And today . . . 57-year-old Ellen and 26-year-old Sam are a couple. --Sam is now an up-and-coming writer-director . . . and he lives with Ellen in her townhouse in New York. They met when she starred in his directing debut, a film called "Another Happy Day". It premiered at Sundance this year. --Apparently, they've been together for almost two years now. By the way, in addition to their 31-year age gap . . . Sam is only five years older than Ellen's SON, Jack. (--Here's a photo of them together, although in a professional manner.)

Did John Edwards Just Get Dumped By His Mistress?

If this is true, you can't say JOHN EDWARDS didn't deserve it. According to the "National Enquirer", John has apparently been DUMPED by his mistress, Rielle Hunter. --John, of course, cheated on his wife Elizabeth while he was a senator and she was dying of breast cancer. He and Rielle had a child together. Elizabeth died from cancer back in December. --A few weeks ago, the Justice Department decided to pursue criminal charges against John for allegedly using more than $1 MILLION in campaign contributions to try to cover up his affair. --The "Enquirer" says that Rielle just dumped John because he was begging her to lie to the Justice Department to protect him and she was afraid if she was caught she'd be separated from their daughter and thrown in jail.

Justin Timberlake's Rep Says He's Not Giving the Business To an Olsen Twin:

Earlier this week, there were rumors that JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE had made the strange, strange decision to start giving the business to one of the OLSEN TWINS. --He and ASHLEY OLSEN were seen watching a play in New York last Friday and, of course, everyone went wild with speculation. --Well . . . according to one of his reps, nothing's going on. Quote, "Justin is not romantically involved with anyone. [He and Ashley] have mutual friends. They were hanging out as a group."

Apparently Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn Have Broken Up:

50-year-old SEAN PENN dating 26-year-old SCARLETT JOHANSSON never felt quite right . . . and now it looks like they could be over before they ever really got going. --According to "People" magazine, Sean and Scarlett have broken up. --Their source didn't give any more information, but there were rumors that he was seen cheating on her at the Cannes Film Festival a few weeks back.

Schwarzenegger Affair Updates: Wedding Rings, a Father-Son Reconciliation Lunch, and Birth Certificate Signings:

#1.) MARIA SHRIVER has been photographed without her wedding ring ever since she and ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER split up over his affair and secret love child. But it looks like Arnold isn't quite as ready to let go. --On Wednesday he was photographed at a hotel in Los Angeles still wearing his wedding ring. (--You can see the photo here.) (Us Weekly)

#2.) Right after the news of Arnold's affair broke, his 17-year-old son PATRICK changed his name on Twitter from Patrick Schwarzenegger to Patrick Shriver. And if someone changes their name on Twitter, you KNOW it's serious. --Anyway, yesterday afternoon, Arnold and Patrick actually met face-to-face . . . quite possibly for the first time since the Twitter name change . . . at a restaurant in Santa Monica, California called Umami Burger. They left together in the same car.

#3.) PATTY BAENA, the woman who had Arnold's love child, says she didn't commit fraud on the birth certificate. Arnold's name doesn't appear anywhere . . . Patty's husband, Rogelio Baena, is listed as the father. --But Patty says she didn't commit fraud because she never told anyone to put down his name . . . and NEVER SIGNED the certificate. --She says Rogelio knew the baby wasn't his, but put down his name because he thought it would help his case for U.S. citizenship.

Lindsay Lohan's Ankle Bracelet Went Off . . . But To Everyone's Disappointment, It Was Just a Malfunction:

On Monday, LINDSAY LOHAN'S electronic ankle monitor went off. YES! What could it be? Was she violating house arrest? Drinking booze? Snorting drugs? Drinking a smoothie made of Xanax and Bud Light while leaving her house? --Nope. When some probation staffers rushed to her house they found . . . the bracelet had a minor malfunction and had accidentally tripped the alarm. Lindsay was just hanging out, reading scripts. Sorry to disappoint.

After Less Than a Week, Amy Winehouse is Already Out of Rehab:

I guess AMY WINEHOUSE has finally beaten her addictions and will be clean for the rest of her life. --Yesterday, after less than a WEEK in rehab for her alcohol abuse, Amy checked herself out. --Her publicist says she, quote, "finished her assessment" at the rehab center and is going to continue rehabbing "on an outpatient basis" while she gets ready for a European tour that kicks off in two weeks. She's, quote, "raring to go." --This was Amy's second trip to rehab. Her first time was in 2008.

Is Whitney Houston Battling Life-Threatening Emphysema?

We hate to spread deathbed rumors from anonymous quotes in not-very-reputable publications . . . but in today's gossip climate, there ain't time to hold back. --So . . . here's an unnamed source in the "National Enquirer" who says WHITNEY HOUSTON is dying. --According to this source, at age 47, Whitney is in the early stages of the lung disease emphysema . . . and if she doesn't quit smoking immediately, she's going to DIE. --After this story came out yesterday, one of Whitney's reps told E! that it's, quote, "completely untrue" and Whitney doesn't have emphysema.

Leslie Nielsen Made Sure There was a Fart Joke On His Gravestone:

Even in death, LESLIE NIELSEN still knows how to sell a fart joke. --A photo of his gravestone in Evergreen Cemetery in Fort Lauderdale, Florida has been released. And it's clear Leslie made sure he went down swinging. --Instead of saying "R.I.P.", his stone reads "Let 'er rip" . . . in other words, it's a mixture of rest in peace, and ripping some flatulence. And the bench facing his gravestone says, "Sit down whenever you can." Read into that what you will. (--Check it out here.) (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)

Is Not Hosting the Muscular Dystrophy Telethon Going to *Kill* Jerry Lewis?

JERRY LEWIS isn't hosting the annual Muscular Dystrophy Association telethon on Labor Day . . . and his friends are worried that's going to KILL HIM. --An anonymous friend says, quote, "Jerry's being allowed on camera to sing his trademark song 'You'll Never Walk Alone', but that's it. It's the end for him. He's shattered. In recent years, the telethon has been his life." --He's 85 now and since his health started going, Jerry has suffered two heart attacks, prostate cancer, diabetes, pulmonary fibrosis, and crippling back pain.

Frank Sinatra Used To Take 12 Showers a Day?

Here's a completely random piece of information about FRANK SINATRA to amuse your grandparents with. Apparently, he was OBSESSED with staying clean . . . and he used to take 12 showers a day. --His fourth and final wife, Barbara Sinatra, revealed that in her new memoir "Lady Blue Eyes: My Life With Frank". She does say that thanks to the showers he, quote, "always smelled like lavender." --Barbara and Frank were together for 22 years. He died of a heart attack in 1998 and her book just hit stores last week.

"X-Men: First Class" Hits Theaters Today . . . Check Out Kevin Bacon as the Villain, plus the Individual Trailers for Beast, Havok, Mystique, and Magneto:

#1.) "X-Men: First Class" (PG-13)

A prequel about the early days of the X-Men . . . when Professor X and Magneto were actually friends. James McAvoy is Professor X, Michael Fassbender is Magneto, and Jennifer Lawrence is the new Mystique. (Trailer) --Kevin Bacon plays the main villain, a guy named Sebastian Shaw, who's gathering mutants to help him take over the world. The rest of the cast includes Zoe Kravitz, January Jones from "Mad Men", and Rose Byrne from "Damages". (--You can see the cast in costume here. From left to right, their characters are: Magneto, Moira McTaggart, Emma Frost, Azazel (a.k.a. Nightcrawler's dad), Beast, Havok (a.k.a. Cyclops' brother), Angel, Mystique, and Professor X.) (Photo Source) (--Kevin Bacon has the ability to absorb energy attacks. You can see him in action here. And here are a few other trailers you may not have seen yet . . .) (Beast) (Havok) (Magic Trick) (Emma Frost) (Never Again)

#2.) "Beginners" (R) (Limited)

Ewan McGregor learns to embrace life after of his father announces two things: That he's dying . . . and that he's gay. Christopher Plummer plays his dad, and "ER" stud Goran Visnjic is his father's much younger boyfriend. (Trailer)

#3.) "Love, Wedding, Marriage" (PG-13) (Limited)

Mandy Moore plays a marriage counselor who has trouble with her own marriage when she finds out her parents are getting divorced. "Twilight" stud Kellan Lutz plays her husband, and her folks are played by Jane Seymour and James Brolin. (Trailer)

#4.) "Beautiful Boy" (R) (Limited)

Michael Sheen and Maria Bello struggle with guilt when they find out their son went on a shooting spree at his college campus before taking his own life. (Trailer)

Barbara Walters Would Supposedly Be Cool with Meredith Vieira Returning to "The View" . . . But It Probably Won't Happen:

MEREDITH VIEIRA'S last day on the "Today" show is next Wednesday. --It seems like she's looking forward to doing NOTHING but spending time with her family, but BARBARA WALTERS has supposedly left the door open for her to return to "The View" . . . if Meredith is interested. --A "'View'-insider" tells, quote, "Barbara adores Meredith and would welcome her back on 'The View' in a second. Meredith returning home would be a great ratings boost, and Barbara likes nothing better than ratings success . . . --"Even if it means asking one of the regular women to have a less active role." The insider points out that JOY BEHAR was initially just a part time co-host who subbed in for Barbara. So, Meredith wouldn't have to be a full-time yenta. --But in a new interview with "People" magazine, Meredith said she was just looking forward to chilling with her family and, quote, "enjoying life." She also reiterated that she did not leave the "Today" show to be a caretaker for her husband. --She said, quote, "It was being distorted, because it looked better to make it, 'Poor Meredith, she triumphs through it all,' but that wasn't the case." (--Her husband has battled multiple sclerosis and colon cancer, but he's doing OK now.) (--Meredith was on "The View" from its launch in 1997 until mid-2006, when she left to take over for KATIE COURIC on "Today".)

Chelsea Handler Might Quit "Chelsea Lately" to Do Something That "Utilizes Her Brain A Little More":

CHELSEA HANDLER'S contract with E! Network is up at the end of 2012 . . . and she's hinting that she may walk away from "Chelsea Lately" to do something more intellectual. --She tells the "Hollywood Reporter", quote, "I want to do something that's going to utilize my brain a little more than this show. If 'Lately' is the show that I'm going to do, it's going to change. But it may turn out that I'm done with it altogether. --"I can't keep doing the same thing . . . my brain is bleeding. I want to do something that's more mindful and isn't celebrity-centered. I'm not looking to totally bail on E! They've done a lot for me, and I like it here . . . if you take away the Kardashians." (--Chelsea also stars on the E! sitcom "After Lately", which is loosely-based on "Chelsea Lately's" behind-the-scenes shenanigans . . .) (--And she's appearing on the upcoming NBC sitcom based on her book, "Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea". Laura Prepon from "That '70s Show" plays Chelsea, and Chelsea has a recurring role as her own sister.)
Jane Lynch Will Host the Primetime Emmys:

JANE LYNCH has been tapped to host the Primetime Emmys this year. The ceremony will air live September 18th on Fox. The nominations will be announced on July 14th. --Jane took home a Best Supporting Actress Emmy last year for her role as cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester on "Glee".

NBC Is Bringing "Fear Factor" Back:

NBC has announced that they're bringing back "Fear Factor". --There aren't many details yet. So we don't know when the new episodes might premiere . . . or, more importantly, if original host JOE ROGAN will be back. "Fear Factor" originally ran on NBC for six seasons, from 2001 through 2006. --OK, here's the elephant in the room: WHY is "Fear Factor" coming back? --Well, an NBC suit spins it like this: Quote, "No one has come close to doing what they've done on that show. You go back and they've stood the test of time. It always had this incredible spectacle to it."


Friday TV Reminders:

--"CMT's Next Superstar" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CMT. (--Trace Adkins guest judges as the final two contestants perform three songs.)

--"MusiCares Person of the Year" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1 Classic. (--John Mellencamp, John Fogerty, Elvis Costello, Dave Matthews, Elton John, Sheryl Crow and Wilco are among the artists paying tribute to Neil Young.)

--"Urban Legends" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Syfy.

--"20/20" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--PFC Channing Moss, a soldier who survived having his body impaled by an unexploded RPG.) (Video)

--"Storytellers" [Special Presentation] . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1. (--My Morning Jacket performs and discusses their music.)

Saturday TV Reminders:

--"NHL Stanley Cup Finals" [Game 2] . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. ET on NBC. (--The Vancouver Canucks host the Boston Bruins.)

--"The Ultimate Fighter" [13th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 P.M. to Midnight on Spike.

--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Scarlett Johansson guest hosts and Arcade Fire is the musical guest.) (REPEAT)

Sunday TV Reminders:

--"The NBA Finals" [Game 3] . . . 8:00 to 10:30 P.M. Eastern on ABC. (--The Dallas Mavericks host the Miami Heat. "Jimmy Kimmel Game Night" will air before the finals on the East Coast . . . and after the game on the West Coast.)

--"Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew" [6th Season Finale] . . . 7:30 to 9:00 P.M. on MTV. (--"America's Best Dance Crew" is crowned along with coverage of celebrity red carpet arrivals at the MTV Movie Awards.)

--"So Random!" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on Disney Channel. (--This spin-off is what's left of "Sonny with a Chance" after Demi Lovato quit the show. Cody Simpson guest stars as himself and performs "All Day".)

--"2011 MTV Movie Awards" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV. (--"Saturday Night Live's" Jason Sudeikis hosts with performances by the Foo Fighters, Lupe Fiasco and Trey Songz.) (--Here are this year's nominees.)

--"The Next Food Network Star" [7th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Food Network. (--Courteney Cox, Paula Deen and Mario Lopez guest judge.)

--"Ice Road Truckers" [5th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on History.

--"Sister Wives" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC.

--"Hogs Gone Wild" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Discovery.

--"The Real Housewives of Orange County" [6th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo.

--"The Real L Word" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Showtime.

--"The Glades" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on A&E.

--"Coming Home" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Lifetime.

--"Freaky Eaters" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.

--"Finding Bigfoot" [Part 1 of 6] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Animal Planet.

Rihanna Has Slammed the PTC for Criticizing Her "Man Down" Video . . . Saying That It's Not Her Job to Parent Your Kids:

RIHANNA'S violent new "Man Down" video has sparked some "controversy," and yesterday Rihanna lashed back at her critics in a tirade on Twitter. --Here's the situation: In the video, Rihanna guns down a man who assaulted and possibly raped her. And it includes the lyric: "Momma, I just shot a man dead . . . I never been so proud." The video premiered Tuesday evening on BET. (--Here's a link to the video.) --A few organizations . . . including the Parents Television Council . . . have ripped the video. Basically, their point is that Rihanna is a role model, and her video seems to send the message that killing someone is an acceptable form of revenge. --One critic even made it PERSONAL . . . arguing, quote, "If Chris Brown shot a woman in his new video and BET premiered it, the world would stop. Rihanna should not get a pass." --Well, Rihanna responded by sending out a reality check. -She Tweeted, quote, "I'm a 23 year old rock star with NO KIDS! What's up with everybody wanting me to be a parent? I'm just a girl, I can only be your / our voice --"Cuz we all know how difficult / embarrassing it is to communicate touchy subject matters to anyone especially our parents! --"And this is why! Cuz we turn the other cheek! U can't hide your kids from society, or they'll never learn how to adapt! This is the REAL WORLD! --"The music industry isn't exactly Parents R Us! We have the freedom to make art, LET US! It's YOUR job to make sure they don't turn out like US." --Rihanna also re-Tweeted this comment from a fan: Quote, "It's really ironic how women are always exploited in videos. We watch women being raped and murdered. Now a woman flips the coin, and look!" (--That's a great point. Think about it.)

(NC-17) Is This the Most Awesome Music Video of All Time?

A lot of music videos these days are lazy and uninspired, but I just came across arguably the COOLEST one I've ever seen. Seriously. It's even better than all those elaborate OK GO videos. --A British pop band called IS TROPICAL did it for their song "The Greeks". --Now, I realize this might not be for everyone . . . --The video features a large-scale suburban shoot-out . . . with guns, drugs, and creative, gory deaths. But here's the catch: It stars a bunch of little kids who shoot each other with super-soakers, and all the carnage is ANIMATED. --It's violent. It's shocking. It's hilarious. And . . . if you ever played shoot-out games with your friends as a kid . . . it's fun. Oh, and this isn't just something that was quickly thrown together for shock value, it's incredibly well done, especially the sync between the animation and live-action. (--All right, here we go. If animated gore and kid-on-kid pretend violence isn't your bag, I understand. But if you're down, you can check it out, here. Enjoy.)
Selena Gomez Has Cut the Controversial Painted Horses from Her Video:

A few weeks ago, PINK blasted SELENA GOMEZ on Twitter when she noticed that horses were being PAINTED for a music video. (--She didn't realize it was Selena's video at first.) --Selena's people insisted that it was done humanely . . . but apparently, Selena doesn't want any part of it, because she's scrapping all the painted horse footage. --A so-called "production insider" says it was NOT Selena's idea to paint them . . . quote, "No one informed her the horses would be painted and she had assumed they would be colored in [with special effects] post-production. --"When she showed up to the set she was very surprised to see them painted." There's no word when the video will be released. It's for Selena's upcoming single "Love You Like a Love Song".

Check Out the New Foo Fighters Video, Which Was Inspired By the Michael Douglas Movie "Falling Down":

The FOO FIGHTERS have released their "Walk" video . . . and it's an homage to "Falling Down", the 1993 flick starring MICHAEL DOUGLAS as a normal guy who snaps and goes on a rampage across L.A. --Like a lot of Foo Fighters' videos, it's pretty funny. It includes a scene where singer DAVE GROHL attacks guitarist PAT SMEAR, who's playing a liquor store clerk, with a Slim Jim. (--Here's the link.)

Shia LaBeouf Directed Kid Cudi's New "Marijuana" Video:

KID CUDI has dropped the video for his cut, "Marijuana". And get this: It was directed, shot and edited by SHIA LABEOUF. --If you haven't heard it, the song is all about weed . . . obviously . . . and so is the video. It's shot in a grainy, home video style, and follows Cudi around as he hangs out, parties, performs, and smokes pot. (--WARNING: It contains uncensored profanity. Check it out, here.) --Shia makes a few brief cameos in the video. --By the way, this isn't his first hip-hop video. He also directed and appeared in CAGE'S "I Never Knew You" video. (--Here's that video.)

Amazon Lost $3 Million on Their 99-Cent "Born This Way" Promotion:

"New York" magazine estimates that lost more than $3 MILLION by selling LADY GAGA'S new "Born This Way" album for 99 cents last week. --Amazon sold around 440,000 digital copies during the two-day promotion. And even though it cost fans just 99 cents . . . Amazon had to pay the wholesale value, which is roughly $8 or $9. --So, if they ate $7 per copy sold, that means they're in the hole almost $3.1 million. --Since I'm NOT a higher-up at Amazon, it's impossible to say whether or not it was worth it. The 99-cent deal was done to promote Amazon's new "Cloud Drive" service, which can store your music in "lockers" on a remote server. --Meanwhile, Lady Gaga will NOT sell 1.11 million copies of "Born This Way" for a second straight week . . . with or without Amazon. --But says she should remain at #1 on their Top 200 albums chart. --They expect her sales to drop to somewhere around 200,000 copies for the week ending Sunday . . . and apparently, they don't see anyone else matching that. The final numbers won't be revealed until next Wednesday.

A Woman Is Ticked Off That She Got Kicked Out of a Kid Rock Concert for Flashing Her Boobs:

A woman was kicked out of a KID ROCK concert in Ontario, Canada, on Tuesday because she FLASHED HER BOOBS. And she's TICKED OFF about it. --The woman's name is Andrea Irwin. --Here's her side of the story: Quote, "There were two strippers on stage and pornographic pictures in the background with women with their breasts exposed. It was very X-rated. So I thought what I was doing was just part of the concert."--It wasn't Kid Rock's security that booted Andrea . . . naturally . . . it was the arena security, which was enforcing its policy that, quote, "guests are required to wear shirts and shoes at all time[s]." Even during a Kid Rock concert. --But Andrea thinks this was a case where they could've been a little more lenient. --She says, quote, "[Kid Rock] sells sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. All of his CD covers have explicit content stickers . . . clearly it's not a place for children. There were lots of women [flashing]. We're living in 2011. Get over it. It's a pair of boobs, man." --Andrea wants a refund. And if she doesn't get one, she's threatening to sue.

Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

The ever-rolling release date of LIL WAYNE'S next album "Tha Carter 4" continues to roll on. Now, he claims it's dropping on August 29th. (Full Story)

The last episode of GLENN BECK'S Fox News show will air on Thursday, June 30th. (Full Story)

From today through June 9th, you can audition ONLINE for "X Factor". Both solo artists and groups are welcome, but you have to be at least 12 years old. All you have to do is upload a video of yourself on "X Factor's" YouTube channel. (--You can find the rules and instructions, here.)

MICHAEL CERA will lend his voice to an episode of "The Simpsons" next season. He's playing a boy that Lisa is interested in. There's no airdate yet. (Full Story)

PINK gave birth to a baby girl yesterday. She named her Willow Sage Hart. (Full Story)

GWYNETH PALTROW decided this was the month to step into the 21st century and join Twitter. In just two days, she's already got over 75,000 followers, and her first two tweets were a video of herself . . . and a pic of her kids, Moses and Apple.


Here are the Five Most Common Regrets People Have on Their Deathbed:

There's a nurse named Bronnie Ware who worked for years with people who'd left the hospital and gone home to die. And in those last few weeks of their life, she found people drop all the pretense and start being totally honest. --She's heard tons of people on their deathbeds share their biggest regrets. Here are the five she heard most often. It's a really interesting list . . . and a lot to think about for those of us NOT on our deathbeds.

#1.) I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life that others expected of me. This is the most common regret, and generally comes from people whose dreams went unfulfilled.

#2.) I wish I didn't work so hard. This was the most common regret from male patients.

#3.) I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. Bronnie found people would suppress their feelings to try to keep peace . . . but ultimately, it would make them miserable.

#4.) I wish I'd stayed in touch with my friends. As people got older, they let more and more friendships slip away. In their last few weeks, many people would try frantically to track down their long lost friends.

#5.) I wish I'd let myself be happier. It takes a lot of people almost their whole lives to realize that they can break their old patterns and habits and CHOOSE to be happy. (Inspiration and Chai)
The New Trend in Russia Is . . . Burying Yourself Alive?

Like most people, I have a healthy fear of two of the worst ways to die: Drowning, and being buried alive. But apparently in Russia, being buried alive isn't all bad. --We don't have too much information on this story, but we know this: One, a 35-year-old Russian computer programmer died after persuading his friend to bury him alive in a coffin overnight . . . --And two: There's currently a trend in Russia where bloggers post about the positive aspects of supervised self-burial. (???) Here's what happened. --The guy lives in the eastern part of Russia in a city called Blagoveshchensk. We don't know his name, but he dug a hole in his garden . . . grabbed his phone and a water bottle . . . and climbed into a coffin he'd made, with holes for air pipes. --Then he had his friend cover the coffin with eight inches of dirt . . . called to tell his friend that he was okay . . . and told his friend to leave. --When the friend came back the next day, the guy in the coffin was dead. --According to the cops, heavy rainfall overnight might have blocked the guy's air supply, and trapped him inside. In other words, he drowned . . . suffocated . . . AND was buried alive. (--In Russia, bear hunt YOU!) --Supposedly there's an Internet 'craze' in Russia where people talk about this nonsense, and this guy wanted to test his endurance and bring himself good luck for the rest of his life. He left behind a young son. (BBC)

A Survey Finds That Laughter is the Best "Simple Pleasure" In Life:

In a new survey, people were asked to name the best "simple pleasures" in life. My first instinct . . . "sexual relations" . . . did not make the list. I guess most people don't think it's simple. I just kinda lay there, so it's very simple.

--Anyway, here's how the real top 10 came out . . .

#1.) Laughing, 22% of the vote.

#2.) Eating food with friends, 21%.

#3.) Getting a hug, 19%.

#4.) Feeling the sun on your face, 10%.

#5.) Reading a good book, 8%.

#6.) Walking on the beach, 7%.

#7.) Laying down in freshly-washed sheets, 5%.

#8.) Watching a sunset, 3%.

#9.) Reminiscing over old photos, 3%.

#10.) The smell of fresh-cut grass, 1%.

(PR Newswire)

Most Condiments Don't Need To Be Refrigerated . . . As Long As You Use Them Quickly:

A friend of mine claims he split up with his girlfriend because of a fight over peanut butter. (???) She insisted on putting it in the fridge . . . he thought it should go in the pantry. --Too bad they couldn't work it out, because it turns out they were BOTH RIGHT. Peanut butter can be stored in either the pantry or the fridge, even after it's been opened. --It lasts nine months on a shelf unopened, one month after opening, and much longer if you refrigerate it. (--But still, who eats COLD peanut butter? That's just weird.) --Here's the verdict on whether other condiments need to be kept in the fridge: --Ketchup: Surprisingly, it DOESN'T need to be refrigerated, even after opening. But open ketchup will only last about a month in the pantry, versus six months in the fridge. --Mayonnaise: Um . . . it's made from EGGS. Refrigerate it! Unless it's unopened. Then the pantry is okay. --Soy sauce, Jelly, and Mustard: Think of them as the Twinkies of condiments. They'll last years on a shelf unopened, and months even after they've been opened. (Yahoo)
Michelle Obama Has Replaced the Food Pyramid . . . With Something Even Lamer:

Years ago, the government decided the best way to battle poor nutrition and obesity was with lame clip art: They developed something called the Food Pyramid . . . that colorful, confusing triangle that tried to show us how much of each food group we should be eating. --Critics in the nutrition industry said it encouraged obesity, while most regular people didn't really understand it at all. --Well, that has changed. As part of MICHELLE OBAMA'S Get Fit campaign, the government has scrapped the pyramid and replaced it with something even lamer: A plate. --The First Lady unveiled 'My Plate' . . . a plate divided into four sections: fruits, vegetables, proteins, and grains. It's supposed to show you how much of each food group should cover your plate. --If you're wondering where the dairy group went, there's a cup next to My Plate labeled Dairy. ( (--Here's the My Plate diagram.)

Habitat For Humanity Is Building An Anti-Obesity Housing Development In the Bronx:

If you're having trouble losing weight, it may not be your fault. Your home could be making you fat. --Habitat For Humanity and real estate developers in the Bronx are creating the first Anti-Obesity apartment building. It'll be ready for tenants to move in sometime this summer. --What makes it Anti-Obesity housing? Well, the building will feature the following things . . . -Colorful workout equipment in the backyard so adults can work out while their kids are playing. --Indoor and outdoor fitness centers. --Silhouettes of dancing women on the walls and smooth jazz playing in the lobby. --And signs scattered around the building nagging you to exercise more. For instance, a sign near the elevators will remind you that taking the stairs might be a healthier option. --The building has 63 apartments available for low-income families, including 14 units reserved for Habitat families. (NBC New York)

Check Out Yahoo's List of the Top Ten Urban Cars:

If you live in a city, you want lower insurance premiums, and you've ever had your driver's side mirror nailed by the jerk in the next lane . . . you'll appreciate this next list. It's the 'Top Ten Urban Cars' according to Yahoo and --It's based on vehicle length, turning radius, driving visibility, parking aids, city mileage ratings . . . and whether or not the car has side mirrors that fold in. Here's what they came up with, and they're all 2011 models.

#1.) Mini Cooper

#2.) Chevrolet Cruze

#3.) Ford Fiesta

#4.) Honda Fit

#5.) Hyundai Elantra

#6.) Kia Forte

#7.) Kia Soul

#8.) Nissan Leaf

#9.) Volkswagen Golf TDI

#10.) Toyota Yaris (Yahoo Auto)

Was Osama bin Laden Shot With a Pork-Coated Bullet?

If you're one of the 3% of Americans worried that Osama bin Laden is in heaven, enjoying the company of 72 virgins, the makers of Silver Bullet Gun Oil have some good news for you. -According to their website, bin Laden was shot with a PORK-COATED BULLET, which keeps him out of heaven. --Silver Bullet Gun Oil is made with 13% LIQUEFIED PIG FAT. And when you use it in a weapon, it insures that the bullet comes out covered in pork juice. --That way, according to Silver Bullet's website, potential Muslim victims wouldn't be able to collect on their virgins: They reference the Koran and say that anyone, quote, "contaminated by swine at the time of his death will be denied entry to my paradise forever, I hate the stench of swine." --Unfortunately, most reputable websites disagree with this interpretation of the Koran. Yeah, Islamic law prohibits Muslims from EATING pork and drinking pig blood, but nothing about smelling like it, or being hit by bacon-tipped bullets. --And while the website claims that the U.S. military is a huge customer, exposing Muslims to pork products would violate their policy against disrespecting local customs. So, yeah . . . nice try Silver Bullet. (Mother Jones)

Three Out of 10 Men Wax Down Below Before a Beach Vacation?

From what I'm used to seeing at the beach, men are putting LESS care into grooming and fitness than ever. A new survey says I'm just going to the wrong beaches. And staring at the wrong men. --In the survey of 1,000 men, 30% say that they WAX DOWN BELOW before a beach vacation. And six of the 1,000 men . . . not 6%, but six total guys . . . say that they get a full BRAZILIAN wax before vacation. That's full crack, man. --The survey also found that two-thirds start a workout plan up to eight weeks before their trip. (

The "Booty Pillow" Lets You Feel Like You're Sleeping On a Woman's Buttocks:

Are you a man who thinks sleeping on a pillow is nice . . . but nestling your head on a woman's fleshy buttocks is a true slice of heaven? No? Well . . . tell your friends who DO to get this pillow. --There's a new product called the Booty Pillow that's designed to look and feel like a woman's buttocks. Plus, the pillow is wearing a thong. But somehow it doesn't come off as erotic. --It sells for $29.99, plus $6 for shipping, and comes in five different colors: Chocolate, caramel, burgundy, white, and cheetah print. (???) (Jezebel)
(--Here's the store where you can see photos and buy one.)

A Woman Got Her Arm Stuck In a Drive-Thru ATM, and Had To Be Rescued by the Fire Department:

If you've ever been running late . . . and the drive-thru ATM doesn't give you your money right away . . . and you're tempted to stick your hand in there to pull out the cash . . . yeah, don't do that. --There's a 22-year-old woman in Pittsburgh who learned this lesson the hard way on Monday. --Her name wasn't released, but she went to the drive-thru ATM at First Commonwealth Bank in a suburb of Pittsburgh called Moon Run. --The ATM didn't give her any money. So the woman decided to reach up inside the machine to see if her cash was stuck. --Her hand got stuck in the cash slot, and the woman was wedged up against the machine. Luckily, she had a passenger who was able to call 911. --Firefighters used a small pry bar and pliers to free her. They said that her fingers looked a little, quote, "chewed up", but otherwise the woman was fine. (WPXI)

There's a New Highly Addictive Drug Sweeping Brazil That Can Kill You In a Year?

Supposedly there's a street drug in Brazil that's like crack on steroids. It's called oxidado. Oxi for short. (--Not to be confused with America's homegrown hillbilly heroin, oxycontin, which is also called oxy.) --Oxi costs about one dollar a hit, and supposedly it gets people addicted the first time they try it. A lot of users BLOW OUT their LIVER within two months and TURN YELLOW. Most of them are dead within a year. --It's made from cocaine paste, like crack. But crack is 40% cocaine, while oxi is 80%. (--That's like switching from cheap tequila to Bacardi 151.) --The cocaine paste is then soaked in GASOLINE and mixed with limestone powder. -Oxi's actually been around for years. Until recently, it was mainly found in the Amazon region. It's making news now because Brazilian police have seen it spread to large cities. (AOL News)

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

According to new research, there are four things that will get you bitten by mosquitoes more often: Wearing dark clothing, moving around too much, drinking beer, and having a fast metabolism. (Full Story)

It's time to play the totally politically-incorrect game, 'Ghetto Spelling Bee.' It's a stupid Twitter game where people submit sentences that sound like they make sense . . . but use words incorrectly. For example: Initiate . . . "Greedy ho. She ate all the cereal, initiate all the cookies." (Full Story)

Check out a list from CNN of the Top Ten Ways to Get Your Kids to Eat More Vegetables. I like number ten: Straight-up bribe them with dessert. (Full Story)

Seven teenagers in California decided to test the $5 all-you-can-eat pancake deal at Denny's . . . by staying there for 24 hours in a row and eating 43 pancakes each, until the restaurant had to go out and get more batter. If you're doing the math, that's 301 pancakes. On behalf of Haseena, Pushpa, and the other street children of Mumbai, I salute them. (--Not fair . . . they did it as a fundraiser for the Wounded Warrior charity. Greed is good!) (Full Story)

Exciting news, people-obsessed-with-dogs: The American Kennel Club has recognized three new breeds. They are: The American English Coonhound, the Finnish Lapphund, and the Cesky Terrier. Now you know. (Full Story)


#1.) Have You Ever Noticed How Many Times Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet Call Each Other 'Jack' and 'Rose' in "Titanic"?

Far be it from us to call JAMES CAMERON a sucky writer. He's responsible for the two highest-grossing movies of all time, and we're responsible for . . . the radio show you're listening to right now. Having said that: James Cameron is kind of a sucky writer. --If you don't believe me, take it from the awesome writer / director / actor ALBERT BROOKS. The guy responsible for underrated classics like "Defending Your Life". He was on ADAM CAROLLA'S podcast the other day, and pointed this out. Quote: --"There are things I can't stand in movies that can be so easily fixed. I don't like peoples' names . . . Just to say it all the time . . . it's sloppy writing. --"I'll tell you a fun game when you have nothing to do. Watch 'Titanic' and count how many times he says 'Rose.' It must be five thousand. I think he even says it underwater." --Well, someone made a video of all the times LEONARDO DICAPRIO and KATE WINSLET do just that, and it's pretty ridiculous. (--Search YouTube for "Titanic Supercut: Jack & Rose Say Each Others' Names. A Lot.")

#2.) A Woman Screaming About How the TSA Sexually Assaulted Her:

If you're into videos of people flipping out at the TSA, we've got your fix. Over Memorial Day weekend, a woman refused to go through the full-body scanner at Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix, so the TSA gave her a pat-down. -The female agent touched her breast at some point, so the woman started crying, screaming, and flipping out about how she'd been sexually assaulted, and wanted the police to intervene. --The cops eventually showed up and took her to a private area, and told her she had to submit to one form of screening or another if she wanted to board. It's not clear what the outcome was. --A couple times a TSA agent tells the woman's son . . . he's the guy who's filming the whole thing. . . that he's done with the screening process, has to move on, and that quote, "we've already gone through this with you guys once before." --That's because the family filmed pretty much the exact same incident from the same airport this past New Year's Eve, and posted THAT one on YouTube too. So it sort of seems like a stunt. (--Search YouTube for "TSA Sexually Assaults My Mother." The mom starts freaking out in the beginning, then reappears at 5:30. The New Year's incident is called "TSA - How Many Laws Did You Just Violate?") (--Warning: There's unedited profanity in the New Year's clip.)

Four Classic Things Men Do That Annoy Women:

Last month, we gave you a list of five classic things women do that annoy men. Well, today we're turning the tables . . . with a list of four things MEN do that annoy WOMEN.

#1.) Trying To "Fix" Things Instead of Listening. It's one of the classic gender differences . . . women want to vent, men want to fix. But when you don't let a woman vent and you go right into "fixing" mode, she's going to think you don't care. --So, sorry to break it to you guys, but there's no easy way around this one. You're just going to have to suck it up and LISTEN to her when she needs to vent about her horrific day at work, or how she's jealous her friend bought the same shoes SHE wanted first.

#2.) Being Lazy or Forgetful. Women HATE it when men are lazy, don't maintain their appearance, or are forgetful about plans. If you can't handle this basic stuff, you probably can't handle having a girlfriend anyway.

#3.) Paying Too Much Attention to Gadgets. I know . . . you love your iPad, your Xbox, and your smartphone. But if you're spending more time looking at a screen than the person you're with . . . that's a problem.

#4.) Taking Her For Granted. Everyone needs time to socialize outside their relationship. But if you spend most of your free time with your buddies at the bar, playing video games, or watching sports, your girl is going to feel neglected. --Besides, if that's how you want to spend all your time, why even bother having a girlfriend? (


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