Thursday, August 4, 2011


People Used to Tell Lea Michele She Was Too Ugly to Make It:

Success is particularly sweet for "Glee" star LEA MICHELE . . . because of all the people who told her she was TOO UGLY to make it. --She says, quote, "How many managers told me, 'Get a nose job. You're not pretty enough?' But I proved them wrong." (--Speaking of Lea . . . she will NOT be starring in the Broadway revival of "Funny Girl". A lot of people pegged her for the lead, because it's one of Barbra Streisand's signature roles . . . and Lea is so often compared to a young Barbra.) (--But Lea can't do it because of her "Glee" schedule. So Lauren Ambrose from "Six Feet Under" got the part.)

Chris Martin Won't Work with Gwyneth Paltrow Because He Doesn't Want to Lose Cred with his Fans . . . And She's Cool with That:

GWYNETH PALTROW has kind of a budding music career. But one person she won't turn to for help is her husband, COLDPLAY singer CHRIS MARTIN. He won't get involved in her music . . . and she understands. --She says, quote, "He makes music for his fans, and he doesn't want people to conjure a lame famous couple when they're getting into his music. I get it." --Gwyneth also admits that everything's not always perfect between them. --She says, quote, "Sometimes it's hard being with someone for a long time. We go through periods that aren't all rosy. I always say, life is long and you never know what's going to happen." --She adds, quote, "If, God forbid, we were ever not to be together, I respect him so much as the father of my children. Like, I made such a good choice. He's such a good dad. --"You can never be relaxed or smug and think, 'I've got this thing.' That's also part of it: keeping yourself on your toes. I'm not going to take this for granted."

Lance Bass Wants to Get Married:

Count LANCE BASS among those members of the gay community who WANT to get married. --Lance says, quote, "I definitely want that. I'm a Southerner. We dream of having the family and the kids, and the parents want grandkids, that's all they care about, give me some grandbabies." --It's too early for Lance to say he's got the right guy . . . but he does currently have someone. He says, quote, "I haven't had a boyfriend in four years, but now it's getting there." --The reason Lance hasn't had what he'd consider a boyfriend in so long is because he's decided not to jump so quickly into relationships anymore . . . quote, "I'm a serial dater. When I see someone I like, we go on multiple dates. --"In my older age, I've learned to take things slower, because I used to be that total-fall-in-love-after-a-day guy. -"I've learned, you can have those feelings, but you don't have to show that. Then you don't have to worry about them saying, 'He was my boyfriend.'"

"Police Academy" Superstar Bubba Smith is Dead:

BUBBA SMITH . . . the NFL legend who went on to star in a series of cop-comedy movies but did NOT tarnish his legacy by slicing two people's throats . . . was found dead in his home yesterday. He was 66. --Police responded to a 911 call from Bubba's Los Angeles home at about 1:00 P.M. yesterday, but he was already gone when they arrived. Officials believe he died of natural causes. --After a nine-year career in the NFL, which included collecting a ring for winning Super Bowl 5 with the Colts, Bubba played Moses Hightower in the first six "Police Academy" movies. He was NOT in the seventh. (--Good to know the guy had standards.) --Bubba played college ball for Michigan State, and was the top pick in the 1967 draft. In his day he was one of the most feared defensive ends in the game. --Bubba also made numerous TV guest appearances, on shows including "Good Times", "Charlie's Angels", "Wonder Woman", "MacGyver" and "Married: With Children". --He was also among several retired players who did Miller Lite commercials in the early '80s. (--Here's one of the classics. And here's another great one, in which he rips the top off a can.)

IT'S ON!!! Kelly Osbourne Calls Christina Aguilera a "Fat [B-word]":

I'm going to go ahead and say IT'S ON between KELLY OSBOURNE and CHRISTINA AGUILERA . . . after Kelly called Christina a "FAT [B-WORD]" on E! Oh, and she also called her the C-WORD. --Kelly was shooting a segment for E!'s "Fashion Police", when a photo of Christina in a tight black dress came up. After JOAN RIVERS commented that Christina looked like "Snooki's Scandinavian cousin", Kelly went off. --She said, quote, "Maybe she's just becoming the fat [B-word] she was always born to be. I don't know. She was a [C-word] to me. And she bought my house!" --Kelly then explained why she was being so ruthless . . . quote, "She called me fat for so many [effing] years, so you know what? [Eff] you, you're fat too!" (--We await a reply from Christina.) (--Here's a 2003 report from "Access Hollywood" on Christina and Kelly's feud . . . and it looks like KELLY STARTED IT.)
Did Demi Lovato Give Her Take on the Amy Winehouse Situation With a Sticker on Her Cell Phone?

DEMI LOVATO may have given her take on the AMY WINEHOUSE situation Tuesday night, with a sticker on her cell phone. --It said, quote, "Heroin killed the radio star." (--Here's a picture.) (Celebuzz) --There's no word whether Demi meant it as a comment on Amy's death . . . but the sticker is part of a product line called Sober Is Sexy. (--Here's their website. As you can see, they did appropriate Amy Winehouse's image for some of their merchandise.)

Tony Bennett Will Release His Duet with Amy Winehouse As a Charity Single:

Before her death, AMY WINEHOUSE recorded "Body and Soul" with TONY BENNETT for his upcoming album, "Duets 2". And yesterday, Tony announced that he's going to release it as a CHARITY SINGLE. --He said, quote, "[The proceeds are] going to a foundation that her father started to teach all the young children not to take drugs."

Sarah Jessica Parker Won't Use Her Celebrity to Get Ahead:

Don't try to give SARAH JESSICA PARKER any special favors just because she's famous . . . because she doesn't want them. Or so she says. --She tells "USA Today", quote, "I never wanted to be a celebrity; I never wanted to be famous. And in my daily life, I work really hard to not trade on it in any way. --"I am so desperately worried about anybody saying, 'She cut in line' or 'She took our table' or 'She got out of jury duty' or 'She doesn't do her own grocery shopping.' --"I do wait in line, and I do take the subway, and I do do my own grocery shopping, and I do take the kids to school."


"Rise of the Planet of the Apes" Hits Theaters Tomorrow . . . Here's the Trailer You Might Not Have Seen Yet:

#1.) "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" (PG-13)

James Franco's new Alzheimer's drug has the side effect of boosting intelligence in chimps. His first test subject lives with him as a member of the family . . . until they're forced to lock him up. That's when he breaks out and starts an ape revolution. --Andy Serkis plays Caesar, the first chimp test subject, using the same motion-capture technology he used to play King Kong, and Gollum in the "Lord of the Rings" movies. And the facial expressions are pretty amazing. --"Slumdog Millionaire" minx Freida Pinto plays Franco's girlfriend, and John Lithgow is his father. And you might not recognize him at first in the trailer, but that's Tom Felton . . . a.k.a. Draco Malfoy from "Harry Potter" . . . as the A-hole taunting Caesar. (Trailer #3) (Trailer #2) (Trailer #1) (Comic Prequel)

#2.) "The Change-Up" (R)

Jason Bateman is a family man, and Ryan Reynolds is his bachelor best friend. And in an incredibly original plot twist, they wake up one morning having switched bodies. Leslie Mann plays Bateman's wife, and Olivia Wilde is his sexy co-worker. (Trailer) (Redband Trailer)

PETA Actually Likes "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" . . . Because the Apes are the Heroes and Humans are the Villains:

PETA is constantly letting us know what they DON'T like . . . so it's kind of refreshing to hear about something they DO like. --PETA has given its seal of approval to "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" . . . and they've also given director RUPERT WYATT their annual "Proggy Award", on the basis of the movie's animal-friendliness. --In addition to the movie's message, PETA is also grateful to the filmmakers for not using real apes. --PETA says, quote, "Rupert explained that a big theme of this movie is humanity's mistreatment and abuse of captive apes. Apes are the heroes of this film, and humans are the villains. --"And Rupert said he couldn't imagine a worse way of undercutting that message than by using real apes in the movie's production." (--"Rise of the Planet of the Apes" opens tomorrow.)
Ashton Kutcher's "Two and a Half Men" Character Will Be an "Internet Billionaire":

At a TV press event yesterday, CBS exec Nina Tassler provided some details on ASHTON KUTCHER'S "Two and a Half Men" character. --She said his name will be Walden Schmidt . . . and he'll be a, quote, "Internet billionaire with a broken heart. [He's] unique." It's unclear if he'll be related to the other one-and-a half men . . . like CHARLIE SHEEN'S character was. --Naturally, Tassler was asked questions about Charlie Sheen . . . but she avoided most of them, and shifted the focus to the future with the new cast. However, if you read between the lines, she did drop in some passive aggressive digs. --When asked what they learned from the Charlie Sheen fiasco, she said, quote, "Oh where do I begin? What we learned is that we have an extraordinary cast . . . --"There is great value in hiring an actor like Ashton. He's extra professional, a funny, talented gifted actor who comes with a tremendous amount of commitment and enthusiasm . . . [we're] moving forward to create an exciting new character and deliver a great show." --She added, quote, "We're worlds apart" from where things were six months ago. --Earlier this week, reported that the season premiere will feature the funeral of CHARLIE SHEEN'S character, Charlie Harper. --Tassler wouldn't comment on that. She merely said, quote, "I know that's out there, but I'm not going to confirm or deny that. The mystery is a part of the marketing." The season premiere airs September 19th.

"CSI" Updates: Marg Helgenberger Is Leaving "CSI" Halfway Through the Season . . . and There's a Video Preview Featuring Ted Danson:

CBS has announced that MARG HELGENBERGER will be leaving "CSI" halfway through the upcoming season. Marg has played Catherine Willows since the show began, 11 years ago. --One of the show's producers says, quote, "Marg will be around through January, so Episode 12. People come and go and come back, so hopefully when we say goodbye, that won't be the last time we see her." --There aren't any details on how her character's departure will be explained. --Also, "Entertainment Weekly" has a preview clip featuring TED DANSON, who's replacing LAURENCE FISHBURNE on the upcoming season. --The producers say the show will take on a more light-hearted tone than it has in recent years, and you can definitely see how Ted's character is part of that in the clip. (--You can watch it, here.)

ABC Family and the CW Are Gay Enough for GLAAD . . . But TBS Isn't:

GLAAD . . . the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation . . . has released its annual "Responsibility Index", which grades the major networks on their depiction of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender . . . or "LGBT" . . . characters on TV. --ABC Family earned an "excellent" rating, and several networks got "good" ratings. Those went to the CW, Fox, ABC, Showtime, TNT, HBO, AMC and Syfy. --NBC and CBS both earned "adequate" ratings, while "failing" grades went to A&E and TBS. They both also failed last year. (--You can download a VERY comprehensive .PDF of GLAAD's complete report, here.) (--By the way, if you guessed that "Glee" is the show with the most gay characters on broadcast TV right now, you'd be correct. "Glee" is up to a total of five regular or recurring LGBT characters: openly gay Kurt and Blaine, secret lovers Santana and Brittany, and closeted bully Dave Karofsky.)

The Most Popular Star in Primetime Is . . . Pauley Perrette from "NCIS"?

"NCIS" is a strange phenomenon. It's one of those rare shows that actually IMPROVES in the ratings year-to-year. Last season . . . the show's 8th . . . was its highest rated, averaging 19.5 million viewers per episode. --In fact, it was the fifth most-watched show in primetime last season, behind "American Idol" performance and results shows . . . "Dancing with the Stars" performance shows . . . and "NBC Sunday Night Football". --So, I guess it should be no surprise that FIVE of our SEVEN favorite primetime stars come from "NCIS" . . . but to me, it's still hard to believe. --This is according to the new "Q Ratings" report . . . "a survey taken a few times a year to judge who are the most popular stars, based on audience awareness."

--Here are the Top Seven Most Popular Primetime Stars:

1.) Pauley Perrette . . . who plays Abby Sciuto on "NCIS"

2.) Cote de Pablo . . . who plays Ziva David on "NCIS"

3.) Jim Parsons . . . who plays Sheldon Cooper on "The Big Bang Theory"

4.) Mark Harmon . . . who plays Leroy Jethro Gibbs on "NCIS"

5.) David McCallum . . . who plays Dr. Donald "Ducky" Mallard on "NCIS"

6.) Nathan Fillion . . . who plays Richard Castle on "Castle"

7.) Michael Weatherly . . . who plays Anthony DiNozzo on "NCIS"

Tommy Lee Rejected "Dancing with the Stars" . . . but Roseanne Barr Will Do It, If They Buy Her a New Hip:

MOTLEY CRUE drummer TOMMY LEE has turned down "Dancing with the Stars". He Tweeted, quote, "OK! Ready for the funniest [crap] EVER!!! 'Dancing with the Stars' just offered me a spot on the show!! I've never hit the PASS button so quick." --Meanwhile, ROSEANNE BARR says she, quote, "really wants to do" "Dancing with the Stars" . . . but she says she's gonna need a hip replacement first. --She Tweeted, quote, "I've told the producers of ['Dancing with the Stars'] for the last three seasons that if they spring for my hip replacement surgery, I'll come on." Sadly, there's no indication the show is interested in taking her up on that.

Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"So You Think You Can Dance" [Results Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"Big Brother 13" [Eviction Night] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.

--"Wilfred" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on FX. (--Jane Kaczmarek guest stars as a new love interest for Ryan.)

--"Louie" . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on FX. (--Dane Cook and Bob Saget guest star as themselves.)

--"Jersey Shore" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV. (--The cast kick off their new season in Florence, Italy.)

--"The Green Room with Paul Provenza" . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Showtime. (--Lewis Black, Ron White, Kathleen Madigan and Jamie Kilstein guest.)

--"Childrens Hospital" . . . 12:00 A.M to 12:15 A.M. on Adult Swim. (--Alicia Silverstone guest stars as Kelly, Dr. Maestro's secret wife.)

Meat Loaf Says One of His Reported Faintings Was Bogus:

The Incredible Fainting MEAT LOAF has unleashed a video message to clarify how many times he's fainted in the past week. Turns out it's ONCE. --Meat Loaf says TMZ jumped the gun in reporting that he "fainted" for a second time on Sunday. He says his asthma was bothering him, so he decided to lie down on the ground and was hooked up to an oxygen machine . . . but he did NOT faint. (--Here's his amusing video.) (--By the way, there's a decent chance Meat Loaf fainted after recording that video. He gets a little worked up, and doesn't seem to be working in enough calm, collected breaths.) (--Of course, if he DID faint at the end . . . or even PRETENDED to . . . it would've been GOLD.)

Is Kings of Leon Having Clips of Their Troubled Last Show Removed from the Internet?

It wasn't very ROCK 'N' ROLL for KINGS OF LEON to end their show early last weekend because CALEB FOLLOWILL'S voice didn't feel right. And it's also not very rock 'n' roll to go around the Internet pulling down videos of that botched show. --But supposedly, that's what's happening. "Rolling Stone" says that the band's management has had several fan-shot videos from the show removed from YouTube. --It's unclear what the point of that would be, but "Rolling Stone" suggests that they're either trying to "stifle the story" or to, quote, "obscure evidence that could lead insurers to believe that [Caleb] was drunk rather than exhausted." --According to reports, the band's insurer may have to shell out around $15 million to cover the cost of the band canceling the rest of its U.S. tour. (--For what it's worth, as of late last night, numerous videos from the show were still up on YouTube.)

Watch Avril Lavigne Shriek When a Fan Runs Onstage in Brazil:

On Tuesday, AVRIL LAVIGNE had a little situation during her performance in Brazil. Just as she was about to sing COLDPLAY'S "Fix You" . . . a wild "fan" ran onstage. --Avril's security . . . a.k.a. her brother Matt . . . grabbed the fan just as he got to Avril. She was fine, and laughed about it afterwards . . . but she did SCREAM when all the commotion was happening. (--Here's video. The fan runs onstage 30 seconds in.)

Eric Church is #1 on "Billboard" . . . and Amy Winehouse Cracks the Top 5:

Country singer ERIC CHURCH scored his first #1 album this week. His third album, "Chief", sold 145,000 copies to top the "Billboard" chart. --In the wake of her death, AMY WINEHOUSE'S "Back to Black" reentered the top 5, hitting #4 with 54,000 copies. Another one of her albums, titled "Frank", sold 12,000 copies down in 33rd place. That album had been selling about 1,000 copies a week before she died.

1.) (NEW) "Chief", Eric Church (145,000 copies)

2.) "21", Adele (83,000 copies)

3.) (NEW) "Here I Am", Kelly Rowland (77,000 copies)

4.) "Back to Black", Amy Winehouse (54,000 copies)


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

JERRY LEWIS will not appear on the annual muscular dystrophy telethon this year . . . and the Muscular Dystrophy Association says he's no longer their national chairman. There's no word why. (Full Story)

KATE MIDDLETON, LADY GAGA, JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE and COLIN FIRTH are just a few of the stars who've made "Vanity Fair's" 72nd annual International Best-Dressed List. (Full Story)

Here's a video report with footage of the ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER museum that has opened in Arnold's hometown of Thal, Austria. (Full Story)

OZZIE GUILLEN . . . the Venezuelan-American manager of the Chicago White Sox . . . called SEAN PENN a LOSER, for his support of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. (Full Story)

RIHANNA is reportedly dating a guy from Barbados who she dated back before she was famous. (Full Story)

On Tuesday, just hours after REDMOND O'NEAL was busted for heroin possession, his older brother GRIFFIN was hospitalized following a head-on collision in San Diego. (Full Story)

The younger brother of "Modern Family" minx SOFIA VERGARA was deported back to Colombia in May . . . after being arrested nearly 30 times over the past 10 years. (Full Story)

The "New York Daily News" has put together a photo gallery of celebrities who haven't aged well. The usual suspects are there, like MELANIE GRIFFITH and MICKEY ROURKE. But I think they got more than a few of them wrong. (Gallery)

Season Six "Bachelorette" ALI FEDOTOWSKY underwent surgery on her leg last month . . . and as a result, she had to push back her wedding. There's no word on a new date yet. By the way, she injured her leg kickboxing. (Full Story)

ABC is developing a "family comedy" called "The Manzanis". KIRSTIE ALLEY is onboard to star as "a very opinionated wife and mother who, along with her family, the Manzanis, moves to a repressed country-club town." (Full Story,)


Would You Rather Give Up Sex, Showering, Shoes . . . Or Your iPhone?

There have been a rush of studies lately showing how CRAZY we are for our smartphones. And yet . . . the numbers from this latest one STILL seem ridiculous. --According to a new survey by the GPS company TeleNav, here are some of the things people would rather give up than their smartphone . . .

--22% would rather give up their toothbrush than their phone for a week. For iPhone users, that jumps to 40%.

--70% would give up alcohol, 63% would give up chocolate, and 55% would give up caffeine.

--33%, or one out of three, would rather give up SEX than their phone. And, for what it's worth, 70% of those were women.

--21% would go without being able to WEAR SHOES before giving up their phone. Again, iPhone users were more likely to choose their phones over shoes, at 43%.

--And 22% would happily not see their significant other if they could have their phone. (TeleNav)

One Out of Every Eight People Has Completely Stopped Carrying Cash:

It's entirely possible that kids born three or four years from now may never really know what CASH is. --According to the latest reports out of the U.K., one out of eight people has now completely stopped carrying any cash or coins. They're going straight credit and debit card, we assume . . . we doubt they're just running around writing checks. --And 50% of people say they expect cash and coins to basically disappear in the near future. (Daily Mail)

Of the Big Online Shopping Sites, Ships Your Stuff the Fastest . . . is the Slowest:

If you're buying stuff from because you don't want to deal with the crowds, lines, and unkempt mullets of their stores . . . bad news. They'll STILL find a way to make you angry. --According to a new study, has the worst shipping times of any major shopping site. It takes them an average of 5.5 days to get you your stuff . . . which is tied with and for the longest waits. has the fastest shipping . . . they get you your stuff in an average of 1.5 days. They just beat out and, which both average 2.5 days. Amazon came in fourth, with an average of three days. (Consumerist) (--Check out the full list here.)
Women's Feet are Getting Larger . . . and Women aren't Happy About It:

For whatever reason, women think they're supposed to have small feet. As in, small feet are dainty and ladylike . . . and big feet are like Sasquatch or a clown. --So here's some bad news out of the UK: Statistically, women's feet are getting bigger. Over the last 20 years, the average female shoe size has gone from a six-and-a-half to an eight. That's a pretty big jump. --And not surprisingly . . . women are NOT happy about it. --According to a survey, 82% of women who wear a size ten or bigger say they're ASHAMED of their shoe size. --So ashamed that they don't even like to go shoe shopping . . . 67% of women's size 10-and-a-half shoes are bought online instead of in a store. --64% of those women say they don't like going to a shoe store because they're embarrassed to ask for their size . . . 36% say their least favorite part is whipping out their feet in public. And 47% of women have lied to their friends about their shoe size. --As for WHY this is happening, experts think women's feet are becoming broader, not longer . . . and it's because average height and body weight has increased. --But that's kind of a depressing explanation, so WE interpret things this way, ladies: Since having bigger feet just comes with having more height . . . height is directly connected to a population that's healthy, eating well, and living well. --For reference, a few famous women with size nine or bigger feet are Nicole Kidman, Paris Hilton, Kate Winslet, Geena Davis and Michelle Obama. (PR Newswire)

A Survey Figures Out the Age When Married Couples Stop Kissing:

Here's a reminder to give your husband or wife a kiss tonight. Just do it. You don't want to become a statistic. And, while you're there, give 'em a nice firm honk on the genitals for me too. --A new survey out of the U.K. tried to figure out the age when married couples basically stop kissing each other on a regular basis. And the answer is . . . AGE 45. --By 45, the majority of married couples don't kiss very often . . . and at least one out of five go more than a week between kisses. When they do kiss, it generally lasts under five seconds. --Married couples between ages 18 and 25 kiss the most . . . they kiss about twice a day and most of those kisses last longer than five seconds. --For what it's worth, age 45 doesn't definitively mean you're done kissing. The survey DID find that 5% of couples over 45 kiss more than 30 times a week.
(The Telegraph)

One in Three Employees are Workplace Hoarders . . . and Their Messy Desks Cost Them Promotions:

If the desk in your office is messy, you might be a workplace hoarder. A new study by CareerBuilder found that more than one in three employees keep too much junk on their desk. --Women were slightly more likely to hoard than men, 38% to 32%. --32% of workers say that more than half of their desk surface is covered with work, office supplies, and knick knacks. 15% say that more than three quarters of their desk is covered. --One of the things that's toughest for hoarders to part with are print-outs of files. 48% of employees admitted to keeping print-outs of files that are already stored on their computer. --36% of employees have paper files that are more than a year old. One in seven people have files that are five years old, and one in 20 have papers more than a decade old. --It's your desk, so who cares what you keep, right? Well, your boss does, actually. 39% of bosses said that piles of paper cause them to think less of an employee. 31% say it makes them look disorganized, and 13% say it makes them look messy. --Nearly three out of 10 bosses say they would be less likely to promote someone who had a disorganized or messy work area. (PR Newswire)

People Who Live to 100 Years Old are Just as Unhealthy as the Rest of Us . . . They Just Have Good Genes:

If you eat right, exercise, and avoid bad habits, you might live to be 100 years old. Or you could do whatever you want . . . and maybe still make it there. --A study by Yeshiva University's Albert Einstein College of Medicine found that people who live to 100 have all the same bad habits we do. --They followed the lives of 477 people between the ages of 95 and 112, and the results were published in the new issue of the "Journal of the American Geriatrics Society". --They showed that people who live to 100 smoke, drink, eat poor diets, don't exercise, and are obese, all at about the same rate as the rest of the population. --The reason they lived so long is . . . good genes. The study concluded that genetic makeup is a strong predictor of longevity. --Other studies have found the same thing. In the 1970s, a study found that 100-year-olds got cardiovascular disease and cancer about as often as people who died earlier. Their genetic makeup helped them fight off the diseases. --But the researchers warned that the results SHOULDN'T be used as an excuse to keep up all your bad habits. Living well can help fend off some illnesses and improve quality of life. --Also, the old people in the study lived in an era when obesity was not as common as it is now. People also got more exercise from climbing stairs and walking than we do now. So the results may not hold up with our lifestyle. (Yahoo)

75% of Cat Owners Sometimes Wish They Could Be a Cat:

You know those stereotypes about crazy cat owners? Surveys like this REALLY don't help things. --According to a survey of cat owners by Whiskas, 75% of cat owners say they sometimes kinda wish THEY could be cats. --Here's why. 90% are jealous of their cat's independence, lack of responsibility, and life of leisure. 50% are jealous of how much cats get to sleep. --41% say they wish they could be as relaxed as their cats . . . and 36% wish they could be as agile as their cats. (FemaleFirst)

The Ukraine Wants to Cut Down on Restaurants That Keep Drunken Bears Around For Entertainment?

I never support cruelty to animals . . . but I can't help but think this would be AMAZING to see. Apparently, in the Ukraine, there are about 80 restaurants that have PET BEARS . . . who get DRUNK on vodka for the customers' entertainment. --This is a relic of when the Ukraine was part of the USSR. Tamed bears were a major form of entertainment. --Now politicians in the Ukraine are trying to end the drunken bear shows . . . they say it tortures the animals and makes the country look bad. They're working on a law that would liberate the bears and place them in a wildlife sanctuary. (Reuters)

More Gourmet Restaurants Are Offering 'Nose-to-Tail' Dining . . . Where They Use the Entire Animal:

You probably learned in grade school that when Native Americans killed a buffalo, they used every part, so nothing was wasted. And supposedly a lot of gourmet restaurants are adopting the same philosophy. --The restaurants are buying entire animals and offering 'nose-to-tail' dining. That's where every part of the animal is cooked and served to customers. --Chef Fergus Henderson of St. John restaurant in London came up with the idea 10 years ago. He offers rolled pig spleen and bacon, and a bone marrow and parsley salad. But he says he draws the line at serving genitalia. --With the economy and the push for more environmentally-friendly practices, restaurant owners want to waste less. So the movement has started to spread. --Cochon restaurant in New Orleans goes through three to five full hogs a week, and offers things like pig's ear, sliced snout, and fried pig's tail. --On the menu of Animal in Los Angeles: Chicken liver toast, veal brains, and crispy pig's head in a pickled vegetable aioli sauce. --And Girl & the Goat in Chicago has wood-roasted pig face and skewered lamb heart with a sweetbread crisp. (CBS News)


Would You Be Annoyed if Casey Anthony Wore Your College Gear?

Sources say CASEY ANTHONY has been traveling around the country since she was released from jail . . . you know, since she was acquitted of murdering her two-year-old daughter. --She was due back in Florida by yesterday to start serving her one-year probation, but over the weekend she visited Columbus, Ohio. Casey was born in Ohio, and still has relatives there. --Anyway, yesterday TMZ released the first photos of her out in public since she was released from jail . . . and she was walking around in glasses and an Ohio State cap. --Obviously, Ohio State fans aren't too happy about it. Although the school released a statement about not taking a stance one way or the other. (TMZ)

A Man Pleads Guilty to Buying Puffer Fish Poison to Kill His Wife:

If you've never heard of fugu, it's the LIFE-OR-DEATH kind of sushi you order that comes from the puffer fish. Several parts of the puffer fish are poisonous . . . so if the chef doesn't cut them out properly, you can DIE when you eat it. --And the whole fugu and puffer fish concept apparently inspired THIS a-hole to try to kill his wife. --He's 38-year-old Edward Bachner of Lake in the Hills, Illinois. Back in 2008, he posed as a doctor and tried to order 98 milligrams of the puffer fish poison, called tetrodotoxin, from a medical research supplier. Even one milligram is fatal. --His plan was to sneak it into his wife's food so he could collect a $20 MILLION life insurance policy he'd secretly taken out on her. --Fortunately, the medical supply company was suspicious of someone trying to buy such a ridiculously massive quantity of the poison, and they alerted the authorities. Bachner was arrested. --And now, this week, he's pleaded guilty to posing as a doctor to buy the poison and intending to use it to kill his wife. --He's looking at a max sentence of life in prison and a $750,000 fine. (Chicago Tribune)

A Woman Arrested for a DUI Tells the Cops She Got Drunk on a Shot Called the "Leg Spreader":

If this woman had just shut up and taken her DUI in silence, she never would've made it onto our radar. But she HAD to talk. And now she's ours. --Around 2:00 A.M. on Monday, 55-year-old Anita Lewis of Spring Hill, Florida was driving her Oldsmobile Cutlass . . . and she was drunk.--Cops pulled her over when she swerved onto some grass on the side of the road. --When they pulled her over and asked what she'd been drinking, she told them she'd put down A.) Half a pitcher of Bud Light, and B.) . . . here comes the reason we're talking about her . . . a shot called the LEG SPREADER. --A Leg Spreader is a shooter that's one part Malibu, one part Midori, and one part pineapple juice. (--It's called a leg spreader because it doesn't taste like alcohol . . . so, I guess, a woman can easily end up drinking too many of them and make some bad decisions. Bad decisions like YOU.) --55-year-old Anita failed some field sobriety tests . . . I guess with her legs spread she couldn't walk in a straight line . . . and she was arrested for driving under the influence, and driving with a revoked license. (CBS 10 - St. Petersburg)

A Man is Arrested For Trying to Split Atoms in His Kitchen . . . and Causing a Small Nuclear Meltdown:

And now, the story of a nerdy guy in Sweden who could've accidentally caused a nuclear meltdown. --31-year-old Richard Handl of Angelholm, Sweden says he's always been interested in amateur physics and chemistry. So he decided to try a science experiment in his kitchen . . . and attempted to SPLIT AN ATOM. --Splitting an atom is how you make nuclear fission. --Richard ordered some radium, americium, and uranium and tried to set up a small nuclear reactor in his kitchen. He even blogged about what he was doing . . . including the time he caused a minor NUCLEAR MELTDOWN on his stove. --A few months into his experiments, he started wondering if what he was doing was legal. So he emailed Sweden's Radiation Authority to ask. --They didn't respond . . . instead, they called the cops. The police went to Richard's apartment, and escorted him out of the building. Then bomb and chemical experts swept his place, took radiation levels, and confiscated his stuff. --He's looking at up to two years in prison for his unauthorized nuclear device. (The Local)


Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Remember that story about Internet Explorer users having lower IQs than users of other browsers? It was a hoax. (Full Story)

Website of the Day: . . . Photos of parents who brought their babies to bars. That's it. (Website)

Should college students be able to pay off student loans by selling their kidneys? That's the debate raging in Scotland right now. (Full Story)

A 41-year-old Italian guy went to spread his younger brother's ashes on a mountain top, and was killed by lightning. (Full Story)

You'll be happy to know that the peacock that escaped from the Central Park Zoo spent the night on the ledge of a building on 5th Avenue, and returned yesterday morning to eat. (Full Story)

According to a new scientific study, eating comfort food really DOES help fight depression. (Full Story)

A guy in New Zealand decapitated himself with a homemade hovercraft, while he was demonstrating it for his family. (Full Story)

According to a new Gallup poll, Muslim Americans are more optimistic about their lives than almost any other religion. 60% say they are "thriving", which is up 19% from 2008. 80% approve of the job PRESIDENT OBAMA is doing, and 64% say their standard of living is getting better. 80% of Jews say Muslims are loyal to the U.S. Only 59% of Catholics and 56% of Protestants say that. (Full Story)

#1.) The People Behind Rebecca Black's "Friday" Have Released Another Horrible Song:

Ark Music Factory is the weird company behind Rebecca Black's "Friday", and they have a new song out by a 10-year-old girl named Madison Bray. It's called "Girl Swag", and it might actually be WORSE than "Friday". --But not in a funny way, just in a lazy 'ten-year-olds-will-listen-to-anything' way. (--Search for "Madison Bray Girl Swag.")

#2.) Finally! A Hip Hop Song About Oscar Mayer "Lunchables":

There's a new parody on YouTube that's supposed to be a banned ad from the 90's for Oscar Mayer Lunchables. But it's just a joke. --According to the fake message at the beginning, it was supposed to target the "urban youth." So it's done exactly like a rap video . . . and there's a LOT of swearing. (--Search for "Banned 90s Lunchablez Commercial.") (--WARNING: This video includes the F-word, N-word, B-word, and drug references.)

Four Pieces of Advice From Kids About Dating a Single Parent:

Dating someone who has kids is difficult, and there's always a chance the kids will hate you no matter what.

--But tried to improve your chances of success by asking the children of single parents what they want and DON'T want to see in the person Mom or Dad is dating. Here are their top four pieces of advice.

#1.) "Don't Kiss and Do Stuff in Front of Me." That's a direct quote from a 15-year-old who said that anything more than a quick peck is gross. So when the kids are around, suggests treating the person like a friend, not a date.

#2.) Don't Try So Hard. Or as one 12-year-old put it, "Don't be a goober." If you're too goofy, or try too hard make the kids like you, they'll pick up on it and think you're an idiot. Especially older kids.

#3.) Don't Try to Force It. Chances are they're still not completely over their parents' divorce. So if they need space, give it to them. And don't try bonding with them until you know your relationship is going somewhere. --With that said, don't just ignore them either. Try to come up with creative ways to be their friend, not their parent. According to at least one 10-year-old, being half-decent at video games can go a long way.

#4.) Always Remember You're Not The Boss. Even if you have kids of your own, you're not the rule-maker for your date's kids. So don't lay down any laws. --Even if your date WANTS you to, you should try to stay neutral. At least until you've been around a while and things are serious. (


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