HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (08-15-11)

Sherri Shepherd and Joy Behar Got Married . . . But Not to Each Other:

Two of the ladies from "The View" have gotten married within the past few days. --SHERRI SHEPHERD married fiancé Lamar Sally on Saturday in her hometown of Chicago. --Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Niecy Nash and Yvette Nicole Brown from the NBC comedy "Community" were bridesmaids. Sherri's 6-year-old son Jeffrey walked her down the aisle. --Two days earlier . . . on Thursday night . . . JOY BEHAR finally married Steve Janowitz, her boyfriend of 29 FREAKIN' YEARS. This is Joy's second marriage. She has a grown daughter from her first. --They had a private ceremony in New York City. As for details, Joy's rep says, quote, "She will discuss it on September 6th on 'The View' when the show returns for the 15th season."


Brooke Burke and David Charvet Are Married:

"Dancing With the Stars" co-host BROOKE BURKE and former "Baywatch" stud DAVID CHARVET got married in St. Barts on Friday. --Brooke and David have been engaged for five years, and already have a son and daughter together. Brooke also has two daughters from a previous marriage. (--Here are some shots of Brooke from sometime over the weekend, with a very hungry butt that seems intent on devouring her bikini bottom.) (TMZ)


Tara Reid Got Engaged and Married on Saturday:

TARA REID had a busy Saturday. First she Tweeted, quote, "I just got engaged!" --Then, a few hours later, she followed it up with, quote, "Just got married in Greece. I love being a wife." --The "lucky" guy is a Danish businessman named Michael Lilleund. He and Tara have been together since November. (--Tara was engaged to another guy last year, but they called it off.)


Heather Locklear and Jack Wagner are Engaged:

HEATHER LOCKLEAR and her former "Melrose Place" co-star JACK WAGNER are engaged. --Heather and Jack have dated on-and-off over the years . . . but have been together steadily since 2007. Heather will be 50 next month. Jack is 51. --This will be Heather's third time making The Big Mistake. She was married to Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee from 1986 to 1993, and to Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora from 1994 to 2006.


Jessica Alba Had Her Baby:

JESSICA ALBA and her husband Cash Warren have a new daughter. Jessica gave birth to Haven Garner Warren on Saturday. They also have a 3-year-old daughter named Honor.


Hilary Duff is Pregnant:

HILARY DUFF is having a baby. This will be the first child for Hilary and her husband, NHL star MIKE COMRIE. Hilary and Mike just celebrated their first anniversary yesterday. --Hilary Tweeted, quote, "We are extremely happy and ready to start this new chapter of our lives." There's no word on the due date. (--Hilary and Mike both have birthdays next month. Hilary be 24 . . . and Mike will be 31.)


Tina Fey Has a New Daughter Named Penelope Athena:

You would think TINA FEY would be too sarcastic to fall into the trap of choosing a cheesy, pretentious baby name. But she kinda did. Tina gave birth to a baby girl last Wednesday, and named her PENELOPE ATHENA. --That's a double-nod to Greek mythology. Penelope was the wife of Odysseus, and Athena was the daughter of Zeus. This is the second child for Tina and her husband Jeff Richmond. They also have a 5-year-old daughter with the much-more-traditional name Alice.
Brooke Hogan Posed Naked for PETA:

BROOKE HOGAN is the latest celebrity to pose nude for PETA. HULK HOGAN and his wife Jennifer attended the unveiling. --Hulk tried to act all embarrassed and cover Brooke's naughty parts . . . (--even though they're not visible in the photo in the first place) . . . but it just ended up looking creepy, as many of Brooke and Hulk's interactions have in the past. (--Check out some pics here.) (Socialite Life) --The day after the event, Brooke was on the defensive about that. She Tweeted, quote, "I'm SO sick of people saying me and my dad are in some perverted relationship. Go home and do your own thing! Stop picking on me!"


SHEEN-ANIGANS

Charlie Sheen Hosted the Insane Clown Posse's "Gathering of the Juggalos" . . . and Didn't Get Destroyed:

CHARLIE SHEEN hosted the INSANE CLOWN POSSE'S annual "Gathering of the Juggalos" on Saturday night . . . and the crowd did NOT tear him apart. --For those of you who aren't up on the happenings of the Insane Clown Posse, their fans are FREAKIN' ANIMALS. --At last year's show, TILA TEQUILA tried to perform . . . and she was eaten alive. She had to flee the stage after being pelted by rocks, beer bottles, firecrackers and even HUMAN FECES. --Charlie fared MUCH better. Of course, he didn't try to perform. He was just introducing various acts. But he actually got cheers and chants of "Charlie!" . . . and he had them calling back "Winning!" whenever he said it. (--Here's video. WARNING!!! There's some bleeped and UNBLEEPED profanity in this clip.) --A few things were thrown onstage, but nothing major. And Charlie even got an ovation when he CAUGHT an aluminum can some moron threw at him. (--You can see that in this video. The can-catching happens at the 57-second mark. Again, WARNING!!! There is UNBLEEPED profanity in this clip.) (--One last note: Charlie injured his elbow yesterday while taking batting practice at Chase Field, where the Arizona Diamondbacks play. You can read more about that here.)


Ashton Kutcher's "Two and a Half Men" Trailer is Probably Nicer than Your House:

While CHARLIE SHEEN is busy catching beer cans thrown at him by the subhumanoid white-trash fans of clown-faced rappers, ASHTON KUTCHER is kicking back in a trailer that's sweeter than most people's HOMES. --It's actually difficult to call Ashton's trailer on the set of "Two and a Half Men" a trailer once you've seen pictures of it. --It's 53 feet long and 1,100 square feet. It's got two floors, a living area, two bathrooms, a kitchen with granite counter tops and a conference area. --There are seven, 60-inch 3D TVs throughout and a wireless, touch-screen remote control for heat, air conditioning, lighting and window blinds. --There's also an outside patio area with a retractable awning. --This thing costs $8,750 a week to rent. There's no word who's footing the bill for that. (--Check out some pictures of this monster here.) (Daily Mail) (--You may recall that WILL SMITH rented a similar trailer, from the same company, when he was working on "Men In Black 3" in New York City a few months ago.)


Angus T. Jones Misses Charlie Sheen:

ANGUS T. JONES . . . the "half" in "Two and a Half Men" . . . probably isn't old enough yet to realize why it's a GOOD THING that CHARLIE SHEEN isn't in his life anymore. --He says, quote, "I miss Charlie. I talk to him every now and then. I still want to hang out with him and stuff. We're still friends. There's no hard feelings at all." --But he doesn't mind working with ASHTON KUTCHER . . . quote, "[The transition] was seamless. It's more or less the same. It's just Ashton's there instead of Charlie." (--Here's an unrelated video of Angus being pestered by a paparazzi scumbag.)


"Austin Powers 4" is Happening:

MIKE MYERS has signed on to do a fourth "Austin Powers" movie. At this point, that's ALL we know about it. There's no word on a title, a plot, returning cast members . . . or who Austin will get to SHAG this time around. --ELIZABETH HURLEY played Austin's girl in the original . . . HEATHER GRAHAM took over in the second flick, "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me". And BEYONCÉ was his girl in "Austin Powers In Goldmember". (--Maybe they should call this one: "Austin Powers in There Aren't Going to Be Anymore Shrek Movies, Nobody Wants to See Me In Anything Else and I Just Bought a Big-Ass House". It's got a nice ring to it, no?)




That "Lone Ranger" Movie With Johnny Depp as Tonto Is No Longer Happening:

That "Lone Ranger" movie with JOHNNY DEPP as Tonto and ANDREW GARFIELD as the Lone Ranger is no longer happening. Disney pulled the plug on it . . . most likely due to budget concerns. (--There's talk that they were also spooked by the recent failure of another big budget Western, "Cowboys & Aliens".)


Check Out Video of Batman's New Airplane:

Batman gets his airplane back in "The Dark Knight Rises" . . . but the design might not sit well with old-school fans. --The thing looks less like a cool, comic book-style vehicle and more like some kind of military weapon . . . much like the redesigned "Batmobile" that CHRISTIAN BALE rides around in. --They did some filming with it on the streets of Pittsburgh the other day, and several people shot video. (--You can check it out here. And by the way, that's a DUMMY BATMAN at the controls.)


"Rise of the Planet of the Apes" Is #1 Again . . . and "Glee" Didn't Even Crack the Top 10:

Three new movies debuted in the top 5 this weekend but none could beat "Rise of the Planet of the Apes", which made $27.5 million and topped the box office for the second week in a row. --The closest competition came from "The Help", which made $25.5 million in second place. "Final Destination 5" opened at #3 with $18.4 million, and "30 Minutes or Less" rounded out the top 5 with $13 million. --The "Glee 3D Concert Movie" didn't even crack the Top 10 . . . it made $5.7 million down in 11th place.

1.) "Rise of the Planet of the Apes", $27.5 million. Up to $105 million in its 2nd week.
2.) (NEW) "The Help", $25.5 million. Up to $35.4 million since Wednesday.
3.) (NEW) "Final Destination 5", $18.4 million.


Snooki Thinks Obama Can Stop the Apocalypse By "Taking Care" of the Economy:

Some people believe that the end of the world will come on December 21st, 2012, when the Mayan calendar ends its 5,125-year cycle. --But SNOOKI thinks PRESIDENT OBAMA can single-handedly stop that from happening . . . by "taking care" of the economy? -In an interview with the "Wall Street Journal" (???), Snooki says, quote, "The economy is really scary, because 2012 is coming. I feel like the first thing that's going to happen . . . is a blackout and then everyone freaks out and the world goes crazy. --"So hopefully, Obama will take care [of the economy] before 2012."


"Dancing with the Stars" Rumors and Denials: Snooki, Queen Latifah and Tiffani Thiessen:

TMZ is reporting that SNOOKI, QUEEN LATIFAH and TIFFANI THIESSEN "will sign on" to do "Dancing with the Stars" this season. But all three of them are denying it. --Snooki recently told "Access Hollywood", quote, "I didn't get asked [to be on 'Dancing'], but if I do, dude, I'm bringing the fist pump to the floor." This represents an about-face in Snooki's attitude toward the show. --Earlier this year, Snooki mocked THE SITUATION for doing it. She said, quote, "I feel like 'Dancing with the Stars' is for like, celebrities that fell off and they need a way to get back in. He made a bad decision." --"It's for people whose careers are over, [if] your career has never been hotter, why would you do it?" (--In fairness, Snooki's "denial" came two days BEFORE TMZ reported that she was a GO, so maybe the producers saw her comment about being willing to do it, and immediately called her up? It's a possibility, I guess.) --Over the weekend, Queen Latifah's rep told E! that she, quote, "will not appear" on "Dancing with the Stars", and a rep for Tiffani told TMZ that she had no involvement with the show. For what it's worth, TMZ seems to be sticking to their guns. --The official cast will be revealed during the August 29th episode of "Bachelor Pad". "Dancing with the Stars" premieres on September 19th.
Monday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"Pre-Season Football" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The Houston Texans host the New York Jets at Houston's Reliant Stadium.)

--"The Lying Game" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC Family. (--A girl agrees to impersonate her long-lost twin for a few days . . . and gets stuck continuing the lie after her sister doesn't return.) (--It sounds a lot like the upcoming Sarah Michelle Gellar show "The Ringer", which hits the CW next month. But this one stars a soap opera minx named Alexandra Chando, who you may know as Maddie on "As the World Turns".)

--"The Closer" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TNT. (--Mark Pellegrino . . . who you know as Jacob on "Lost" . . . guests stars as an attorney.)

--"Millionaire Matchmaker" [5th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Bravo.

--"Rupaul's Drag U" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Logo. (--Shirley Jones guests.)

--"Most Eligible Dallas" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bravo. (--The Texas version of "Jersey Shore", minus the "book smart" brilliance of Snooki. The cast includes New Orleans Saints punter Glenn Pakulak.)

--"Teen Wolf" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV.


VIDEO GAME QUICK HITS

Slice Up Other Assassins or Fight Renegade Angels in This Week's New Games:

--"El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron" (T) . . . for the Xbox 360 and PS3. This is based on the Old Testament story of the Tower of Babel. Seven angels betrayed heaven by building the tower, so God sends a guy named Enoch to set things right. As Enoch, you have to fight through their seven versions of 'paradise'. (Trailer)

--"No More Heroes: Heroes' Paradise" (M) . . . on PS3. You play Travis Touchdown, a laser katana wielding assassin on a quest to eliminate the competition by killing the ten best assassins in the world. It's motion-controlled with the PlayStation Move.
(Warning! It contains a few S-words!) (Trailer)

Video Game Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

#1.) There was a glitch with Microsoft's servers a few days ago that resulted in thousands of free Microsoft Points being issued to random users. Anyone who spent the free cash before the glitch was found got to keep their ill-gotten gains. (Full Story)

#2.) For everyone who's wanted to virtually race a horse using the Xbox 360's Kinect, your prayers will soon be answered. "Champion Jockey: G1 Jockey and Gallop Racer" will be out later this year. It's motion-compatible for all three major consoles. (Full Story)

#3.) Ridley Scott, the director of "Alien" and "Blade Runner", has signed on to do some "exclusive episodic entertainment" for the Call of Duty Elite web site. (Full Story)

#4.) Milla Jovovich will star in "Resident Evil: Retribution". This latest "Resident Evil" flick is the fifth movie in the series. (Full Story)
NEW ON VIDEO THIS WEEK

--"John Carpenter's The Ward" - Amber Heard plays a woman held in a remote ward of a psychiatric hospital with a group of other girls, where they're terrorized by a ghost. The other girls include Meryl Streep's daughter, Mamie Gummer.

--"Priest" - Paul Bettany plays a warrior priest trying to rescue his niece from an army of vampires. "Nikita" star Maggie Q is a priestess fighting by his side, and his niece is Phil Collins' daughter, Lily Collins, who you'd know from "The Blind Side".

--"Something Borrowed" - "Big Love's" Ginnifer Goodwin plays a chick who gets drunk and sleeps with the guy she's had a crush on since law school. Unfortunately, he's engaged to marry her best friend, played by Kate Hudson.

--"The Best and the Brightest" - Neil Patrick Harris hires a consultant to help him get his five-year-old into a private school without sitting on a two-year waiting list. She's played by Amy Sedaris. She lies on their application and says he's a poet. He then tries to sell the lie by passing off his buddy's cybersex IMs as poetry.

--"Meet Monica Velour" - Kim Cattrall plays a washed-up '80s porno star who lives in a trailer park and strips to make ends meet. A 21-year-old geek named Dustin Ingram plays a teenage fan who befriends her, even though she doesn't quite live up to his mental image.

--"The Conspirator" - James McAvoy defends a woman accused of conspiring in the Lincoln assassination. She's played by Robin Wright Penn. It's directed by Robert Redford. The rest of the cast includes Justin Long, Kevin Kline, Evan Rachel Wood, and Alexis Bledel.

--"Jane Eyre" - "Alice in Wonderland's" Mia Wasikowska plays Jane Eyre in this adaptation of the classic Charlotte Bronte novel. It also stars Michael Fassbender and Jamie Bell as the men in her life, Edward Rochester and St. John Rivers. (--Jamie Bell IS "Billy Elliott". You may remember Fassbender from "Inglorious Basterds" and as Magneto in "X-Men: First Class".)

--"Hoodwinked Too! Hood vs. Evil" - Granny, Red, Wolf and Twitchy the squirrel join a secret spy organization to ensure all fairy tales have happy endings. Red Riding Hood was Anne Hathaway in the first movie, but Hayden Panettiere does the voice in this one. Glenn Close is still Granny and Patrick Warburton is still the wolf. Other voices include Brad Garrett and Cheech & Chong.


TV Series On DVD:

--"Dexter: The Fifth Season" . . . a four-disc DVD set.

--"Spin City - Season 5" . . . a four-disc DVD set. (--This was one of the two seasons that featured Charlie Sheen. It ran for six seasons. Michael J. Fox had to leave the show at the end of Season 4 because of his Parkinson's disease.)

NEW MUSIC OUT THIS WEEK

This Week's CD Releases:

--"Any Man in America", Blue October (--This is their sixth album. It includes their hits "The Feel Again (Stay)" and "The Chills".)

--"I'm Back Family & Friends", Sly Stone (--New versions of classic Sly and the Family Stone songs. His guests include Ray Manzarek of The Doors, Ann Wilson of Heart, and Yardbirds guitarist Jeff Beck.)

--"Shallow Bay: The Best of Breaking Benjamin", Breaking Benjamin

--"Watch the Throne", Jay-Z & Kanye West (--This was an iTunes exclusive last week, but it hit stores on Friday. However, if you wait until the 23rd then you can grab the Deluxe Edition with four additional tracks that aren't on this one.)

--"When Fish Ride Bicycles", The Cool Kids (--Their guests include Ghostface and Bun B.)

--"Jeff Bridges", Jeff Bridges (--You've already heard him sing on the "Crazy Heart" soundtrack. This is his follow-up to that, so it's technically his debut country album. It's produced by T Bone Burnett and a vinyl edition drops August 23rd.)


Concert Sexiness: Here's Video of Britney Spears Giving DJ Pauly D a Pole Dance . . . and Nicki Minaj Giving Drake a Lap Dance:

BRITNEY SPEARS and NICKI MINAJ have been known to give lap dances on their current tour . . . and Britney gave one to DJ PAULY D from "Jersey Shore" during her show in Montreal last Thursday. Pauly D is one of Britney's opening acts. --Technically, this one was a POLE DANCE . . . but Britney did hop up on his shoulders and wrap her legs around his head. (--Here's video.) --Afterwards, Pauly D Tweeted, quote, "Wow. Just got a lap dance on stage from Britney Spears!" (--And he posted this picture.) --And Britney Tweeted, quote, "Hope you enjoyed your dance! [It] was tough getting my legs around that big blowout." --On Saturday night, Nicki gave DRAKE a lap dance onstage in his hometown of Toronto. (--Here's video.) --Drake was there to help perform their song, "Moment 4 Life". For what it's worth, Nicki described him to the crowd as, quote, "my friend, my brother." (--And you can revisit video of Nicki giving LIL WAYNE a lap dance on stage earlier this year, here.)


It's On! Between Hanson and Kings of Leon:

KINGS OF LEON have taken some heat for canceling their U.S. tour so that singer CALEB FOLLOWILL can rest his voice and/or go to rehab. But that's not the worst of it. Now, one of the HANSON brothers is SCOLDING them! --Apparently, eldest Hanson brother ISAAC is not afraid of instigating a full-on beef between the bands, because he really lets 'em have it. --Isaac says, quote, "I have a hard time with musicians who act like pricks because it just makes me mad. I just sit there and I go, 'You know what, dude, no matter whether you're in a band just surviving or you're in a bus playing stadiums . . . --"You're still among the rare breed of people that are actually getting paid to do it.' If you're actually making a living doing it, man, pinch yourself every day, because it goes if you don't love it . . . and people will eventually get pissed off. --"And I'm gonna call somebody out on it: the Kings of Leon guys are running some risks. They're irritating people . . . you can't do that too much. Eventually the bad boy image affects fans' willingness to show up. Their fans will get bummed out." --Issac even tries to reason with Kings of Leon by sharing some lessons that he learned from being a "bad boy." (???) He says, quote, "Everybody has their demons, everyone has their challenges . . . I'm a bit of a hothead in certain circumstances . . . --"But you gotta temper it because your fans are there and they've paid good money to see a show, and you gotta bring it." --"I don't wash my dirty laundry in public, I do my dirty laundry backstage . . . I have flipped the bird at a few people that deserved it, and told them to go 'F' themselves." (--Wow! That IS some dirty laundry from a guy I always thought was pretty wholesome. By the way, Isaac is 30 YEARS OLD now, if you can believe that. He's married, has two kids, and still performs with his brothers as Hanson.)


Boston's Next Album Will Include Vocals from Their Dead Singer:

BOSTON says their next album is "85% complete", and that the disc will include vocal tracks recorded by their dead singer BRAD DELP. There aren't any specifics, except that you'll hear him on, quote, "many songs." --STRYPER singer MICHAEL SWEET, who joined Boston for their 2008 tour, did not participate in the recording of the album . . . but TOMMY DECARLO did. He's the guy the band discovered on MySpace after Delp's suicide in 2007. --This will be their first studio album since "Corporate America" came out in 2002. There's no title or release date yet.


Game Denies That He Pulled a Twitter Prank on the Los Angeles Police . . . and Tells the Officers to Get Back to Their *Real* Jobs:

GAME is in hot water with the Los Angeles police because of a message that was sent from his Twitter account Friday evening. --The Tweet gave out the L.A.P.D.'s phone number to Game's 580,000 followers . . . and told people to call it if they were interested in an internship with Game. A ton of people called the number, not realizing they were calling the police. --Obviously, the L.A.P.D. was not amused, because the calls flooded their phone lines for about three hours . . . causing legitimate emergency calls to be delayed. In fact, there's even a chance Game could face criminal charges for this. --But Game claims he didn't send the Tweet, or authorize it. --He's pointing the finger at a friend, who he says MISTAKENLY posted the police number. (--Really? That would be QUITE the coincidence, don't you think?) --Game eventually deleted the Tweet. He claims he removed it as soon as he could, but the cops said he initially ignored their requests to take it down. --Regardless, Game took this opportunity to mock the police and the media. He Tweeted, quote, "Y'all can track a Tweet down but cant solve murders! Dat was an accident, but maybe now y'all can actually do y'all job!!!! I speak 4 the people."

Five People Died When Wind Knocked Over the Stage Before a Sugarland Concert at the Indiana State Fair:

A freak windstorm blew down the stage right before SUGARLAND was about to perform at the Indiana State Fair on Saturday. Five people are confirmed dead . . . and at least 45 are injured. --SARA BAREILLES had finished her set and was offstage and safe. JENNIFER NETTLES and KRISTIAN BUSH of Sugarland were about to go on, but they were still offstage and away from the wreckage. --It happened around 9:00 P.M, and the weather was looking pretty bad, but it hadn't started raining yet. Officials monitoring the situation made an announcement that things could get worse, but they ALSO said the concert would go on as planned. --Some people took the warning and started to leave . . . but most hung around. What came next is what Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels called, quote, "A freakish accident." --Out of nowhere, dirt, dust, and wind came barreling up the fairground's main thoroughfare. The rigging started wobbling . . . and then it came crashing down onto the stage. --Tragically, it also landed on the "Sugar Pit", which is a VIP area next to the stage where about 200 Sugarland fans were seated. We don't know if, or how many of those fans were seriously injured. One lighting technician is confirmed dead. --Because of the tragedy, Sugarland canceled last night's concert at the Iowa State Fair. That will NOT be rescheduled and fans are getting a refund. The band's next scheduled show is Thursday in Albuquerque, New Mexico. No word if that will go on.--Sugarland released a statement that said, quote, "We are stunned and heartbroken for the fans and their families in Indiana. We hold those injured in our prayers at this very sad time. There are no words. It is tragic." --They also posted a message on their website asking for thoughts and prayers for those affected by the tragedy (--Here's the link.) --Opener Sara Bareilles also posted a statement saying she is, quote, "shocked and saddened by [this] horribly tragic circumstance." (--Here's that link.) --One last thing: According to Billboard.com, the rigging was set up by the Indiana State Fair for all the concerts and events during the fair. Acts like Sugarland attach their own sound and lighting. The rigging AND Sugarland's equipment came down.

(--You can check out three photographs taken AS the stage collapses, here. And here's a clear video of the stage collapsing. WARNING: You can faintly hear someone yelling "Holy sh*t" a few times in the background.)

(--Here's another video of the stage coming down, but it's kind of blurry. And here's a video of the devastation taken minutes after the tragedy.)

(--This is the third high profile stage collapse in a couple months. It happened at a FLAMING LIPS concert in Tulsa, Oklahoma on August 6th, and a CHEAP TRICK show on July 17th in Ottawa, Canada.)


MONDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


Who knows what kind of pictures might surface: PARIS HILTON lost two mobile devices on a flight to the Philippines. (Full Story)



Yep, HEIDI KLUM is still wandering around the beaches of the Mediterranean . . . topless. (Full Story)



ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S 17-year-old son PATRICK is on a billboard in Los Angeles SHIRTLESS. It's an ad for Hudson Jeans, and some people are pointing out the unfortunate location . . . above a bar in Hollywood called 'Happy Endings'. (Full Story)



Some people believe PIPPA MIDDLETON padded her backside for the royal wedding . . . because it's usually flatter. (Full Story)



ANGELINA JOLIE is such a kinky, insatiable sex addict that BRAD PITT can hardly keep up with her. But he HAS TO, or he'll lose her. (Full Story)



WARRANT paid tribute to their former singer, JANI LANE, during a show the other night. (Video) (--There's an UNEDITED F-BOMB toward the end, as they're launching into their next song.) Meanwhile, TMZ says Vodka and prescription meds were found in the hotel room where Jani died. (Full Story)



There was concern that "Captain America" wouldn't play well in other countries because of its pro-U.S. sentiment. Turns out it's doing big business overseas. (Full Story)


THE SMASHING PUMPKINS have announced 12 tour dates for this fall. (Itinerary)



COLDPLAY has announced that its next album "Mylo Xyloto" will hit stores on October 25th. They also explained how to pronounce the title. It's "MY-lo ZY-letoe." (Full Story)



DEMI LOVATO has revealed the title of her new album on Twitter. It's "Unbroken". The album is supposed to come out on September 20th. (Demi's Twitter)



MTV has canceled "The Hard Times of R.J. Berger" after two seasons. (Full Story)



"Saturday Night Live" has landed RADIOHEAD to be the musical guest on its 37th season premiere. ALEC BALDWIN is hosting . . . for the 16th time. That will break his current tie with STEVE MARTIN for most "SNL" hosting gigs. (Full Story)



Country singer KELLIE PICKLER will guest star on an episode of "90210" this season. And no, she will not be playing herself. (Full Story)



AMC has reached a deal with "Breaking Bad" for a fifth and FINAL season. There's no word when it might premiere. The fourth season is currently airing. (Full Story)



RANDOM STUFF

(NC-17) A Woman's Moans Have Nothing to Do With How Much She's Enjoying Sex:

Do women do ANYTHING authentic during sex? According to a new study, women don't just fake their climaxes from time to time . . . they ALSO fake their MOANING. --Obviously, most men think that when they're sweating and gyrating on top of a woman, the more she moans, the more she's enjoying the sexual relations . . . and the closer she is to climaxing. --Well . . . nope. --In the study by the University of Central Lancashire in England, a woman's moans weren't really connected to how the sex was going. --In fact, she was most likely to moan well BEFORE her climax . . . and when she believed the man was about to "finish." --The researchers believe there's a natural, biological explanation. On the most basic evolutionary level, during sex, the goal is to reproduce. So a woman's brain is trained to do whatever tricks are necessary to make that happen. --By moaning when the man is close to finishing, it makes him think she's satisfied . . . and he's now free and clear to let it fly. (Daily Mail)


A Former Cancer Patient Starts a Dating Website for People Who Can't Have Sex . . . or Just Don't Want to:

The good news for 37-year-old Laura Brashier of Rancho Santa Margarita, California was that she survived stage four cervical cancer. --The bad news was that the aggressive surgeries and radiation treatments left her lady parts so damaged that having sex was impossible. --Since it was tough to discuss the issue with potential boyfriends, Laura stopped dating . . . for 13 years. -Now, Laura is doing something about it. On August 1st, she started the dating website 2date4love, which helps match people who either physically can't have sex, or just have no interest in it. --More than 2,000 people visited the site in the first three days it was up, and after less than two weeks, it already has more than 1,500 members. --About one in three Americans get cancer at some point in their life, and the treatment can inhibit sexual desire or the ability to function. (ABC News)


93% of People are Paying More For Groceries Now Than a Year Ago:

It's not just your imagination . . . your family really IS eating your entire salary. --According to a new survey by Rasmussen Reports, 93% of Americans say that they're paying MORE for groceries now than they did one year ago. --And no one really thinks things are going to get better . . . only 3% think that, one year from now, groceries will be the same price or cheaper than they are today. (Rasmussen Reports)


There are Now Five Fast Food Restaurants For Every Grocery Store:

Not everything at grocery stores is healthy . . . between Manwich, Tuna Helper, Hungry-Man dinners, frozen pizza, and tubs of frosting, you can leave a grocery store with a heart attack in your cart. --But they've still got WAY more healthy options than fast food restaurants. --Which is why this is a somewhat frightening statistic: At this point, in the U.S., there are five fast food restaurants for every ONE grocery store. (The Week)


A Bright Side to the Bad Economy? Gas Prices Could Go Down 50 Cents in a Few Weeks:

Good news and bad news here. The good news: Gas prices are about to start dropping like CRAZY. They're projected to drop by about 50 cents over the next few weeks. --The bad news? That's a SERIOUS sign the world's economy is still in big trouble, and that we could be headed for another global recession. --Oil prices are going down quickly because of speculation that the economy . . . not just here, but around the world . . . is in for a long rough spot. That will reduce the demand for oil and gas . . . both for cars and for manufacturing. --James Williams of WTRG Economics says, quote, "Weak economies engender low oil prices [and show] the lack of confidence in a recovery and an increase in expectations of another recession." --Still . . . cheap gas, right? The national average gas price has gone down from $3.70 to $3.62 already . . . and could be $3.25 in the next few weeks. (Los Angeles Times)


Dognappings are Up 32% So Far This Year:

In case you missed it, there's a totally sensationalist fear-mongering type story making the rounds this summer . . . and it totally works because it scared the hell out of me. --According to the American Kennel Club, for whatever reason, dog thefts are way up this year. -In the first seven months of 2011, they say there were 224 dogs stolen. That's up 32% from the same period in 2010 . . . and for all of 2010, there were 255 total thefts. --The American Kennel Club says that the motivation for stealing a dog is always money . . . which is why thefts go up when the economy is bad. --Usually, a dog thief plans either to resell the dog or hold it for a ransom. In the horror story version, someone might try to sell your dog for dogfighting or medical testing. --The AKC has a list of tips for preventing dognappings . . . the big ones are not leaving your dog alone in the front yard, tied up outside of a store, or unattended in a car . . . even if it's locked. (--Which you probably shouldn't be doing anyway.)(Chicago Sun-Times)
A Tiny Island Country Puts "Star Wars" Characters on Its New Coins:

There's a decent chance you've never heard of the tiny island country called Niue. (--nee you ee.) It's a country with 2,000 residents that's not even half the size of Rhode Island, located about 1,500 miles from New Zealand in the Pacific Ocean. --But the Force is strong with them. --Niue has announced that they're unveiling a brand new line of coins that feature "Star Wars" characters. Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Darth Vader, Yoda, C-3PO, and others will be on their official currency. --They have full permission from GEORGE LUCAS to make the coins. It's the first time that "Star Wars" characters have appeared on any country's real currency. Niue is producing the coins with help from the New Zealand mint. --The characters will be on coins that are worth $2 in New Zealand money, which converts to about $1.66 in U.S. dollars. But no one's going to spend them like that . . . they're clearly collectors' items. --They're going to be sold in sets of 18 . . . eight one-ounce silver coins and 10 silver-plated metal coins. Overall, you're getting at least $42 worth of silver there, and the sets will sell for about $460. So no one's going to spend them on $2 items. --Niue is only making 50,000 of each coin, so collectors are going to end up paying big money if they want these. They go on sale November 1st. (Time) (--Here's the official website where you can see the coins and learn more.)


If You Want to Win at Monopoly, Buy Illinois Avenue and the Orange Properties Near Free Parking:

If you want to win at Monopoly, take advantage of the people getting out of jail. --A group of mathematicians figured out which properties were the best ones to buy, based on their rent, and the likelihood people will land on them. --It turns out the best property to get is Illinois Avenue. That's one of the red ones, just past the Free Parking corner. --B&O Railroad, right next to Illinois, is the next best property to buy. --If you're looking to buy all of one color's properties so you can build houses, your best bet are the orange properties: New York Avenue, Tennessee Avenue, and St. James Place --That's because those properties are six to nine spots away from jail, which means that people just getting out of jail are most likely to land on them. --Illinois and B&O are 14 and 15 spots away, which means they're likely to land there on their SECOND turn out of jail. --Boardwalk and Park Place have the highest rents, but they come after the "Go to Jail" square, which means that fewer people land on them. --Jail can also help you late in the game. If you're stuck in jail, you won't land on other people's houses and hotels and have to pay up. The mathematicians say that once all the properties have been purchased, you should NEVER pay $50 to get out of jail early. (Yahoo)


A Group of Canadian Workers Was Laid Off on Wednesday . . . and Won the Lottery on Thursday:

Last Wednesday, a company in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada called SMART Technologies laid off 200 employees. The next day, ten of those employees won the lottery. --They were part of a group of 18 coworkers who won, and they all played the lottery together every week. The eight who weren't laid off say they expect to be gone by November too . . . when the company moves from Canada to Mexico.--On Thursday, less than 24 hours after the first round of layoffs, they all got some serious financial security . . . by winning a $7 MILLION jackpot in an Ontario lotto drawing.--Each of the 18 will end up with about $400,000. (Toronto Sun)


The Latest Stupid Photo Trend is "Horse-Manning" . . . and It's Actually Kind of Funny:

Our primary reaction to photo trends is: We hate them. We hated the planking trend the moment we saw it, and we still hate it now. --But our first reaction to the latest photo trend is a little different . . . because it's actually kind of funny. --It's called HORSE-MANNING, because it's based loosely on the Headless Horseman character from "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow". --The photo is an optical illusion that takes two people to pull off: One person poses so you can't see their head . . . either by hiding it behind something, or leaning WAY back . . . and the other person poses so you can ONLY see their head. --The result makes it look like one person's been beheaded . . . with the head sitting next to them. And a lot of times, the person who's been beheaded has their arm touching the other person's head, so it looks like they're holding their severed head.--But horse-manning isn't a new photo trend. It was actually a big trend about ONE HUNDRED YEARS AGO. In other words, it's one of the first things people started doing once they had access to their own cameras. (Daily Mail) (--Check out a bunch of great horse-manning photos here.)

MEATBALL CRIMINALS

Help Police in Denver Identify This Bank Robber . . . By His Man-Boobs:

Over the past few weeks, a man in Denver, Colorado has robbed four different banks. Now the police are reaching out for help in tracking him down . . . and they're hoping people will spot him by his most noticeable feature. His luscious MAN-BOOBS. --That's right. The police have nicknamed him the "Top-Heavy Bandit" . . . and are emphasizing both his man-boobs and, quote, "large pot belly." --Other than that, he's a white guy, between 30 and 40 years old, between 5-foot-8 and six feet tall. They're offering up to $2,000 for any tips that lead to him. (ABC 7 - Denver) (--Here are some surveillance photos of this handsome gentleman.)


A Man is Arrested For Challenging His Girlfriend to a Naked Sword Fight to the Death:

It's been a long time since SWORD FIGHT DUELS TO THE DEATH were popular. Last week, 36-year-old Terry Lee Locy of Titusville, Florida, tried to bring them back in style. And he failed MISERABLY. --On Wednesday morning, Terry was drunk. And naked. And looking to duel. He approached his girlfriend, handed her a SWORD, and told her, quote, "You're going to need this." Then he grabbed a bigger sword and threatened to kill her. --He started trying to fight with her, but she managed to get away and call 911. Terry ran out of the house, still naked and holding the sword. He was eventually arrested and could get up to five years in prison for aggravated assault. (Florida Today) (--Here's his mugshot.)


RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:


The Super Bowl Champion Green Bay Packers finally met with President Obama last Friday. But linebacker Desmond Bishop accidentally left his photo ID on the plane, so the Secret Service wouldn't let him in. (Full Story)


A wanna-be screenwriter put his script in a briefcase and left it at an agent's office last Thursday morning in Beverly Hills, after pestering the guy to read his work. But the agent thought it was a bomb and called the police. And they called the bomb squad, closed off an entire block near Rodeo Drive, and blew it up. (Full Story)


85-year-old Edward Alexander of Chatham, Illinois had to fend off a robber while he was watering his lawn last Thursday. He took a bullet to the leg in order to land a punch on the robber's jaw and send him running. And this line of his from the hospital is classic: He said, quote, "I hope I'm prepared next time . . . prepared to send them to the morgue." (Full Story)


A woman from Long Island, New York was released from jail this past January while serving time for a robbery charge . . . because she needed a heart transplant and only had six months to live. But she got in trouble with the court when she was caught smoking, and last Friday pleaded guilty to shoplifting . . . so she lost her spot on the heart transplant list. (Full Story)


Photo of the Day: If you're a guy who makes creepy-looking prosthetic human faces for life-like cemetery headstones, the answer is yes . . . the TSA WILL let you take them on board a plane. (Full Story)
NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) Patrick Stewart Presided Over a Nerd's Marriage Proposal at Comic-Con:

A guy proposed to his girlfriend at the Comic-Con in Chicago last week, and the video is online. It's nothing special at first . . . but then the camera pans over and reveals that he did it in front of PATRICK STEWART from "Star Trek". --And I don't know who's idea it was, but then Stewart took each of them by the hand, and said, "ENGAGED." On the show, "engage" was kind of his catchphrase. (--Search YouTube for "My Proposal to Tabs." Stewart shows up at :34.)


#2.) Justin Bieber's Concert in Mexico Sold Out in Two Hours . . . and the Girls Who Couldn't Get Tickets Started Screaming:

JUSTIN BIEBER is performing in Mexico next month, and apparently he's just as popular with 12-year-old girls there as he is here. --The concert sold out in just two hours, and the local news was at the ticket counter when the girls without seats found out and FREAKED OUT about it. --One girl even collapsed on the ground . . . so a reporter went over and immediately shoved a microphone in her face. --It's all in Spanish, but it's mostly just screaming, so it doesn't matter. (--Search for "Bieber Fans Cry When Mexican Concert Sells Out." He starts interviewing the girl on the ground at :25.)


#3.) Baseball's Longest Hitting Streak Since 2006 Was Snapped by an Amazing Diving Catch:

Braves second baseman DAN UGGLA had a 33-game hitting streak snapped yesterday when he went 0 for 3 against the Cubs. --Uggla almost had a bloop single to right field in the fifth inning, but Cubs second baseman Darwin Barney made an incredible diving catch to rob him. Barney had to run halfway into right field to get there. Then he completely laid out. --The 33-game hitting streak was the longest in Braves history, and the longest in the majors since 2006. Joe Dimagio's 56-game hitting streak in 1941 is still the record. (--Search for "Darwin Barney Robs Uggla." The catch is at :09, and the replay is at :29.)



Eight Super-Healthy Foods That Are Also Super-Cheap:

One reason people don't eat healthier is because they think healthy food is more expensive. But here's a list from iVillage.com of eight super-healthy foods that are also super-cheap.

#1.) Kale. It has vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, fiber, calcium, and omega-3s, and it only costs about 60 cents per serving.


#2.) Low-Fat Milk. An eight-ounce glass has nine essential nutrients, including some that most people don't get enough of, like calcium, potassium, and vitamin D. Non-fat and 1% milk are healthier than 2% and whole, but they cost the same.


#3.) Mangos. One cup has 80% of the vitamin C you need in a day, plus 25% of the vitamin A, 7% of the potassium, and three grams of fiber. And one mango only costs about 50 cents.


#4.) Dried Cranberries. A lot of people drink expensive pomegranate juice for the antioxidants. But dried cranberries have them too, and they're a lot cheaper. One cup costs about 50 cents. --Just don't eat too many because they're high in sugar.


#5.) Sweet Potatoes. They have beta-carotene, which is what gives them their orange color, and beta-carotene is good for your skin. --Studies have shown that getting enough of it can result in fewer wrinkles, and sweet potatoes only cost about 43 cents per serving.


#6.) Eggs. One hard-boiled egg has about 70 calories and only costs 20 cents. But unless your doctor tells you to, DON'T just eat the egg whites . . . because most of the vitamins are in the yolk. --If you're worried about cholesterol, don't eat more than seven eggs a week and you should be fine.


#7.) Pinto Beans. They have protein, fiber, and B vitamins. Plus, they have more antioxidants than almost any other bean. But pinto beans are also the CHEAPEST type of bean. They cost about 13 cents a cup.


#8.) Black Tea. You don't have to buy expensive tea to get the health benefits, because regular black tea has the same flavanoids that protect against free-radicals. And people who drink tea also age better. All for about 5 cents a cup. (iVillage.com)