Monday, August 22, 2011



Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Are Married:

KIM KARDASHIAN and KRIS HUMPHRIES got married Saturday night in front of 440 guests. --Not surprisingly, the event was LOADED with celebrities. They included Demi Lovato, Eva Longoria, Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough, Mario Lopez, Ciara, Babyface, Venus and Serena Williams, Kathie Lee Gifford . . . --Lindsay Lohan, along with her mom Dina and her sister Ali, Avril Lavigne, Scottie Pippen and his wife, Carmelo Anthony, Sugar Ray Leonard, Alan Thicke, Cheryl Burke, and George Lopez. --Also in attendance were Kim's wedding dress designer Vera Wang, Maria Menounos, Greta Van Susteren, Jillian Barberie, and "Girls Gone Wild" scumbag Joe Francis. --Then there was Mark Ballas, who choreographed Kim and Kris' first dance, which was to Robin Thicke's "Angels". And Thicke was there to perform it in person. (--Earth, Wind and Fire were also there to perform "September".) --Kim' stepfather BRUCE JENNER walked her down the aisle. Kim also had a message for her late father, former O.J. SIMPSON attorney ROBERT KARDASHIAN. --She said, quote, "I so wish my dad could be here today to walk me down the aisle. But I know in a way he is here, and I feel his loving presence all around me. I love and miss you, dad." --KOURTNEY and KHLOE were Kim's co-maids of honor . . . (--although technically, Khloe would be a MATRON of honor, since she's married.) --Half-sisters Kendall and Kylie Jenner were bridesmaids, and Kourtney's 21-month-old son Mason was the ringbearer. --Celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck did the catering. --E! will exploit the wedding into a two-part special called "Kim's Fairytale Wedding: A Kardashian Event". It'll air on October 9th and 10th. --The wedding reportedly cost $20 million . . . although some sources say it was $30 million . . . but Kim and Kris got a little bit of that money back: "People" paid $1.5 million for the exclusive wedding day photos. --They also paid $300,000 for the engagement announcement in May, and "OK!" Magazine bought up pics from the bridal shower for $100,000. (--You can see video from a paparazzi helicopter here. Here are some wedding pics, and here's some OFFICIAL wedding footage from E!) (--Here's a news report on the wedding in which the reporter has no idea there's a little kid behind her making funny faces the whole time.)

Did Lindsay Lohan Get Hammered at Kim Kardashian's Wedding?

In a way, you almost have to feel sorry for LINDSAY LOHAN. No matter where she goes from now until the end of time, people are going to be scrutinizing her . . . especially what she's drinking. Not that she didn't bring it on herself, though. --According to Radar Online, Lindsay was knockin' 'em back at KIM KARDASHIAN'S wedding Saturday. A source says, quote, "She was drinking and partying hard. I saw her order shots from the bar." --Lindsay was with her mom DINA and her sister ALI . . . neither of whom seemed to mind that Lindsay was drinking. To be fair, though, there are no legal restrictions on Lindsay's drinking . . . and she wasn't driving.

Shaq Proposes to Betty White . . . And Gets Slapped:

I don't really know what the purpose behind this video is, but it's still fun: SHAQUILLE O'NEAL proposes to BETTY WHITE . . . and she SLAPS him, then tells him he's too old for her. (--Check it out here.)

Kimberly Stewart Has Given Birth to Benicio Del Toro's Baby:

KIMBERLY STEWART gave birth yesterday to BENICIO DEL TORO'S daughter. There's no word on her name. ROD STEWART was at the hospital for the birth. Benicio was not. --He and Kimberly aren't together. And as far as we know, they were never officially a couple. Although you could say they were a "couple" of horny fools who were too charged up to pause for birth control. --Benicio has vowed to be totally supportive though. (--He's 44, Kim is 32.)

Is John Mayer Gorging on Hot Pockets Because He Misses Jennifer Aniston?

This is one of those stories we do NOT do because we believe it's true, but because it's so entertaining we WISH it were true. --JOHN MAYER is reportedly gorging on junk food because he regrets getting rid of JENNIFER ANISTON. --According to "Us Weekly", John is piling on the pounds thanks to such redneck delicacies as Hot Pockets, pizza bites and Smucker's Uncrustables. --A source says, quote, "She was the one who got away. He's definitely not thrilled to see Jen in so many photos with a new guy . . . especially one who is a cooler version of him. --"He's just eating microwave food and getting chunky. Seeing Jen happy now isn't easy. He cared about her more than any of his other girlfriends."
Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller Went to Mexico Together . . . But Charlie Says They're Not Getting Back Together:

CHARLIE SHEEN and ex-wife BROOKE MUELLER jetted off to Mexico over the weekend . . . just the two of them, no kids. And from the pictures we've seen, it looks like it could have been a ROMANTIC getaway. (--Check 'em out here.) (TMZ) --But Charlie says that's not the case. He just took her as a, quote, "birthday / you're doing great in rehab present". --He added that they're just, quote, "good friends trying to be great parents", and they're "working on mending the bridges, replanting scorched Earth. The goal is harmony."

Demi Lovato Went on a Birthday Beer Run Saturday . . . But She Only Turned 19:

DEMI LOVATO turned 19 on Saturday. And she celebrated by hitting the grocery store for a case of Miller Lite. (???) (--Here's a picture.) (TMZ) --To be fair, Demi was with a friend, and HE could have been 21. And maybe that beer was for HIM. --On Friday night, Demi had Tweeted, quote, "Birthday redbulls cause #soberissexy... Duh." (--Demi did go to "rehab" . . . but that was most likely for emotional issues, not any kind of substance abuse.)

Does Cameron Diaz Hate Jennifer Lopez:

CAMERON DIAZ and JENNIFER LOPEZ are currently filming a movie based on the popular pregnancy book "What to Expect When You're Expecting". And according to the "Star" tabloid, they're NOT hitting it off. --A source says, quote, "They don't like each other. They don't interact much, but when they do, the tension is thick." --Cameron supposedly hates Jennifer because she has a huge entourage around her at all times, including her mother, her manager, three assistants and her own makeup and hair people. --She also thinks all the chaos surrounding J-Lo's split with MARC ANTHONY . . . as well as the fact that there are rumors she's hooking up with another one of their co-stars, RODRIGO SANTORO . . . is causing a distraction. --And the source says she insulted Jennifer's acting behind her back . . . telling someone else on the set, quote, "She'd be better off sticking to her day jobs." --How does Jennifer retaliate? By IGNORING Cameron. The source says, quote, "She doesn't seem to care. She doesn't talk about Cam or ask about her. She just acts as if Cam doesn't exist."

The World's Highest-Paid Celebrity Couples:

The unstoppable list-makers at have put out a list of The World's Highest-Paid Celebrity Couples. To do it, they estimated each couple's earnings in the year between May of 2010 and this past May. Here's the list:

1.) Gisele Bundchen ($45 million) and Tom Brady ($31 million). Total: $76 million

2.) Beyoncé ($35 million) and Jay-Z ($37 million). Total: $72 million

3.) Angelina Jolie ($30 million) and Brad Pitt ($20 million). Total: $50 million

4.) David Beckham ($40 million) and Victoria Beckham ($5 million). Total: $45 million

5.) Robert Pattinson ($20 million) and Kristen Stewart ($20 million). Total: $40 million

(--Gisele and Tom got married in 2009 . . . Beyoncé and Jay-Z tied the knot in 2008 . . . and David and Posh Spice have been married since 1999.) (--Angelina and Brad have been dating since 2005. Even though they've been "married" by the tabloids countless times over the past six years, they haven't made The Big Mistake yet. Although they've been hinting more and more lately that it might actually happen.) (--And Robert and Kristen have been ALLEGEDLY dating ever since the "Twilight" phenomenon took off almost three years ago.)
The "Fright Night" and "Conan the Barbarian" Remakes Couldn't Beat the New "Spy Kids" Movie . . . and All Three Lost to "The Help":

Four new movies debuted in the Top 10 this weekend, but "The Help" came out on top. After getting off to a solid start last week, it made another $25.5 million to top this weekend's box office. The four debuts didn't even come close . . . --The latest "Spy Kids" opened with $12 million in 3rd place, the "Conan the Barbarian" and "Fright Night" remakes both bombed with less than $10 million, and Anne Hathaway's new movie "One Day" only made $5.1 million.

1.) "The Help", $20.5 million. Up to $71.8 million in its 2nd week.

2.) "Rise of the Planet of the Apes", $16.3 million. Up to $134 million in its 3rd week.

3.) (NEW) "Spy Kids: All the Time in the World", $12 million.

Check Out Some Footage from the Set of "The Avengers":

"The Avengers" is currently filming in Cleveland, and some footage from the set has made its way online. It's a 30-second aerial shot, which shows Captain America and Thor tag-teaming some bad guys. (--Check it out, here.) --CHRIS EVANS is playing Captain America and CHRIS HEMSWORTH is playing Thor. The movie is scheduled to hit theaters next May.

The Trailer to the "Ghost Rider" Sequel Includes a Peeing-Fire Shot!

The trailer for "Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance" has hit the Internet . . . and it's awesome! For real. Unlike the first movie, the guys who did the "Crank" movies were behind this one, so it's way over the top, in the good way. For example, the trailer ends with a shot of Ghost Rider PEEING FIRE. (--Here it is.)

Sarah Jessica Parker Says There *Will* Be a "Sex and the City 3":

SARAH JESSICA PARKER has confirmed that there will be a THIRD "Sex and the City" movie. (--Unfortunately, there's no word if it'll be in 3-D.) --Sarah told "Parade" magazine, quote, "There is [another movie in development]. I know what the story is. It's a small story, but I think it should be told. The question is, 'What's the right time to tell it'?"

The Situation Is Calling Abercrombie & Fitch's Bluff:

Last week, Abercrombie & Fitch offered THE SITUATION "a significant payment" to NOT wear their clothes on "Jersey Shore" . . . but it seemed like a publicity stunt. And now, The Situation may prove it by calling their bluff. --That's because it sounds like he's willing to take Abercrombie's money. He says, quote, "I got no problems with Abercrombie & Fitch . . . that's pretty wild. But nobody's contacted me in any way. That's pretty crazy . . . --"You're going to pay somebody NOT to wear [something] . . . hey, call me up, man! I'm here. But nobody's ever called me. It's bad publicity on their part." (--Here's video of The Situation's comments.)

There's a Rumor That Jerry Lewis *Is* Hosting the Labor Day Telethon, But Jerry's Rep Says It's Bogus:

Over the weekend, there was a rumor that JERRY LEWIS would be brought back to host the annual muscular dystrophy telethon this Labor Day Weekend . . . but Jerry's rep says that's, quote, "not accurate." --Earlier this month, the Muscular Dystrophy Association suddenly announced that Jerry was no longer their national chairman, and that he would not host the telethon. They didn't say why. (--Clearly, there's some sort of back and forth happening behind the scenes, but it's still a mystery for now. Jerry had hosted the telethon since 1966.)
Monday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"Pre-Season Football" . . . 8:00 to 11:00 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The New York Giants host the Chicago Bears at New Meadowlands Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey.)

--"American Ninja Warrior" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.

--"Rupaul's Drag U" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Logo. (--Raven-Symoné guests.)

--"La La's Full Court Life" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on VH1. (--La La Vazquez and her husband NBA star Carmelo Anthony are the focus of this new reality series which follows them in their daily life.)

--"The T.O. Show" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1. (--NFL star Terrell Owens faces emergency knee surgery.)

--"Alphas" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy. (--Summer Glau guest stars. You know her as the sexy terminator on "The Sarah Connor Chronicles".)

--"Surprise Homecoming" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.

--"The Big C" . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Showtime. (--Parker Posey guest stars as a girl Adam's been chatting with in an online cancer support group.)


"Deus Ex: Human Revolution" and the Latest "Call of Duty" Zombie Maps Are Out Tomorrow:

--"Deus Ex: Human Revolution" (M) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and PC. For the third game in the "Deus Ex" series, you play a security officer who's been rebuilt with bionic arms and other biomechanical augmentations that give him powers like x-ray vision and the ability to become invisible. (Trailer) (Gameplay)

--The fourth map pack for "Call of Duty: Black Ops" is available for download on Xbox tomorrow. It's called "Rezurrection" and it's an ALL ZOMBIE map pack that features the first zombie map in space. The other four maps are the original four zombie maps from "World at War". (Preview) And here's an amusing video from the "Zombie Authority" to help get you in the mood.

ESRB Game Ratings: (E) for Everyone; (T) for Teen; (M) for Mature (18+)

Video Game Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Due to memory restrictions, the PS3 has never had a cross-game voice chat feature . . . and it never will. But the new Playstation Vita handheld system is going to have twice the RAM, which means you WILL be able to chat with friends while on different games. (--Speaking of Playstation, the PS3 got a price cut last week.)

Only one out of ten gamers actually finishes the games they play. The reasons? An overabundance of games, the lure of online multiplayer, and older gamers simply not having enough time to play. (Full Story)

Check out this video that shows off Xbox 360's new voice and motion controlled dashboard. It's called Twist Controls, and it's expected to be released by Christmas.

--"The Beaver" - Mel Gibson is a guy who's so depressed that he walks around with a beaver puppet on his hand, and only communicates with people through the puppet as part of his therapy. (Photo) Jodie Foster directed it and she also plays his wife. -Their son is played by Anton Yelchin . . . the guy who was Chekov in "Star Trek" and is currently in theaters as the star of that "Fright Night" remake.

--"Sympathy for Delicious" - Mark Ruffalo directed this movie about a guy in a wheelchair who discovers he has the power to heal people . . . and uses his gift to become part of a rock band that includes Orlando Bloom and Juliette Lewis.

--The movie was written by a guy named Christopher Thornton, who also stars in it as Delicious D, a.k.a. the dude in the wheelchair with the magic touch. Mark Ruffalo is in it too. He plays the priest who introduces D to faith healing.

--"The Greatest Movie Ever Sold" - Morgan Spurlock's latest documentary is about how there's too much advertising in America. The film was entirely funded by the product placement he pitches to various sponsors DURING the movie.

--A juice company named POM Wonderful paid to be the movie's official sponsor, and they even got a small town in Pennsylvania to change their name to POM Wonderful for 60 days as part of the promotion.

--"Henry's Crime" - Keanu Reeves takes the fall for a bank robbery he didn't commit. When he gets out of jail he decides to actually do the crime he served time for, and he gets his former cellmate James Caan to help him.

TV Series On DVD:

--"NCIS - The Complete Eighth Season" . . . a six-disc DVD set.

--"NCIS: Los Angeles - The Second Season" . . . a six-disc DVD set.

--"Brothers & Sisters: The Complete Fifth Season" . . . a five-disc DVD set.

--"Gossip Girl: The Complete Fourth Season" . . . a five-disc DVD set.

--"The Event: The Complete Series" . . . a five-disc DVD set.


This Week's CD Releases:

--"The R.E.D. Album", Game (--Game's got Dr. Dre narrating the disc to help give the album a "theatrical" feel. I guess that means that any tracks that leaked last week could be seen as sort of being the trailers . . . but you still gotta buy the disc to see the whole movie.) (???) (--Game's other guests include: Lil Wayne, Chris Brown and Young Jeezy.)

--"Muppets: The Green Album" . . . (--"Sesame Street" songs performed by modern artists. Weezer and Hayley Williams do "Rainbow Connection", while OK Go does the theme song. Other artists on the disc include: The Fray, Alkaline Trio, My Morning Jacket, Amy Lee and The Airborne Toxic Event.)

Unlike So Many Other Celebrities, Paul Stanley Won't Give His Kids Absurd Names:

Celebrities are notorious for sticking their children with terrible, ridiculous names . . . but PAUL STANLEY of KISS isn't one of them. -Paul has four kids: A 17-year-old son named Evan Shane . . . a four-year-old son named Colin Michael . . . a two-year-old daughter Sarah Brianna . . . and his new, two-week-old daughter Emily Grace. (--The three youngest are his children with his wife Erin. The 17-year-old was from a previous relationship.) --Paul is a believer in picking NORMAL baby names. He explains, quote, "I guess we're not cool enough for names like 'Peach' or 'Astro Girl' . . . --"We were a little more traditional and stick with names our children hopefully won't regret when they grow up. Your kids aren't objects for amusement, so why would you give them a name that would subject them to possible ridicule at school? --"Kids can be pretty tough on each other, and who wants to put a child named Spaghetti through school?" (--A lot of celebrities choose silly names, but "Peach" seems like a shot at GWYNETH PALTROW, who has a daughter named Apple. Or maybe Bob Geldof's daughter Peaches.) --So what does Paul think about being dealt his second straight daughter? He says, quote, "I always say I've learned that girls are God's revenge. It's payback for my past." That's a joke. --He adds, quote, "Honestly, it's just the greatest gift. There's a relationship and a bond between dads and daughters that only a dad can understand. It's very unique. To have my last two children be girls is pretty spectacular."

Bono Had a Health Scare Last Week, But He's OK:

BONO of U2 was hospitalized last week with a "health scare" while on vacation in Monaco. He was suffering from heart palpitations and chest pains. Fortunately, it wasn't anything serious. --Bono saw a "top heart specialist" who told him he just needs some rest and relaxation. (--Which shouldn't be all that inconvenient, since he was already on vacation. Some guys have all the luck.) (--You can pay tribute to Bono's heart palpitations by jamming to U2's single "Two Hearts Beat As One", here. By the way, Bono's palpitating heart is 51 years old.)

Lindsay Lohan Is Suing Pitbull for Name-Checking Her on His Hit "Give Me Everything":

LINDSAY LOHAN is suing PITBULL for name-checking her on "Give Me Everything". On the track, Pitbull raps, quote, "Hustlers move aside, so I'm tiptoein', to keep flowin' / I got it locked up like Lindsay Lohan." (--Listen to that verse, here.) --Obviously, that's a reference to Lindsay's seemingly endless legal problems . . . particularly the two weeks she spent in jail last summer on a probation violation. --Lindsay is attacking this on multiple fronts, all of which seem a little silly. For starters, the lawsuit claims, quote, "the lyrics, by virtue of its wide appeal . . . [is] destined to do irreparable harm to the plaintiff." --Then, in describing Lindsay as, quote, "a professional actor of good repute and standing" . . . (???) . . . the suit says the track violates her civil rights, which, quote, "protect people from having their name exploited for commercial purposes." --And Lindsay's lawyer adds, quote, "The problem is they used her name without compensation in the song, and confused the public about whether or not she was a collaborator." (--Come on! No one heard that lyric and thought she was a collaborator. If Lindsay could score paid gigs like that, she wouldn't be filing this lawsuit.) --NE-YO and AFROJACK, who co-wrote "Give Me Everything", are also named as defendants. There's no response from either of them, or Pitbull. --For what it's worth, it doesn't sound like Lindsay has much of a case. And let's be real, the lyric isn't all that vile or defamatory because it's . . . well . . . TRUE. But that doesn't mean that Lindsay won't get anything out of this. --There's talk that Lindsay may have only filed the lawsuit to try to squeeze a settlement out of Pitbull . . . like the one she allegedly got from E-Trade last year. (--Lindsay filed a lawsuit against E-Trade over one of their talking baby ads . . . because there was a character named Lindsay who was described as a, quote, "milkaholic". It reportedly ended with Lindsay receiving "a confidential sum.") (--So . . . Lindsay can't get a real job these days, so she's chasing legal settlements? This doesn't make me feel very comfortable about Lindsay's ability to pay for luxury necklaces in the future.) (--And if Lindsay thinks THIS is causing her "irreparable harm," just wait until EMINEM turns on her.) (--Eminem actually gave her a COMPLIMENT on his dis track "We Made You". He raps, quote, "Lindsay, please come back to seeing men . . . Samantha's a two, you're practically a 10.")


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

DENISE RICHARDS pushes her new, adopted baby around in a $900 stroller. Wanna see what a $900 stroller looks like? (Full Story)

BRISTOL PALIN got a new tattoo on her foot. It's a fancy "T", which is in honor of her father Todd, her brothers Trig and Track and her son Tripp. (Full Story)

Remember a few months ago when ESTELLA WARREN drunkenly crashed into three parked cars? She was arrested, but not before HITTING a cop. And when they got her to the police station, she slipped out of her cuffs and tried to escape. Well, on Friday she was sentenced to six months in rehab after pleading no contest to DUI. (Full Story)

Octomom NADYA SULEMAN "won" a boxing match over the weekend. She and her opponent, a bartender, wore HUGELY oversized gloves. They swung at each other for a while, then Nadya ran back to her hotel room. She came back a few minutes later and was awarded the victory for some reason. There were about 36 spectators. (Full Story with Pictures)

Would you like to see some pictures of GEORGE LUCAS' bad-ass daughter doing her MMA training? (Photos)

It isn't a big deal if an indie band books a show for the 10th anniversary of the September 11th attacks . . . unless your band name is EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY. (Full Story) (--This story would be a LOT more interesting if it was happening in New York. But it's not. It's in Boise, Idaho.)

The GALLAGHER brothers aren't even in OASIS anymore, and they're still at each other's throats. The latest? Liam says he's suing NOEL for saying Liam canceled a show because he was hungover. (Full Story)

SOULJA BOY decided to remove his face tattoos because: A.) "It was a little crazy." And B.) He wants to open himself up for more acting gigs. (Full Story)

Contrary to what you may have heard, "All My Children" legend SUSAN LUCCI is NOT coming to "Desperate Housewives". (Full Story)

Portland, Oregon Is America's Most Promiscuous City . . . and Seattle is Second:

If you want to have meaningless casual sex, you might want to consider a trip to . . . the Pacific Northwest? --The dating site OKCupid has come up with a list of America's most promiscuous cities: They looked at the profiles on their site, and which cities had the highest percentage of people seeking "Casual sex" as their preferred type of relationship. V--Based on that, the most promiscuous city in America is . . . Portland, Oregon. In second place is another city in the Pacific Northwest: Seattle, Washington.

--Here's the rest of the top ten.

#3.) Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

#4.) Miami, Florida

#5.) San Francisco, California

#6.) Dallas, Texas

#7.) San Bernardino, California

#8.) Denver, Colorado

#9.) San Diego, California

#10.) Houston, Texas

--Eight of the top ten "slutty" cities are west of the Mississippi River. (Time)

People Who Telecommute are More Trustworthy Than People Who Work in Offices:

If you're listening to this while you're driving to work . . . there's a decent chance you're an untrustworthy employee. --A new study found that people who work from home and telecommute are three times more trustworthy than people who work on site. --The Ethisphere Institute surveyed more than 200 firms, and two thirds of them had employees who telecommute regularly. --The companies reported that 11% of their telecommuters had committed ethical violations in the last two years. --That's one in nine workers, and it seems like a lot. Until you find out that 36% of the people working at offices had committed ethics violations over that period. --That means on-site workers are three times more likely to commit a violation than the telecommuters. --One possible reason is that there are more ways to screw up in the office: There are other people you can harass, and plenty of office supplies and fixtures to steal or misuse for personal reasons. --Also, telecommuting is considered a privilege, and many telecommuters are on their best behavior . . . so they don't lose that benefit and have to get dressed and schlep to work with the rest of us. (Marketwatch)

The Most Stressful Job for Women is . . . Stay-At-Home Mom:

This one's for all the women dreaming about the day you can drop out of the rat race and just stay at home raising kids. About three months in, you're going to WISH you still had a boss yelling at you. --A new study from the University of Washington found that THE most stressful job for women is being a stay-at-home mom. Stay-at-home moms did WORSE on mental health assessments in the study compared to moms who still have careers. --Not that it was easy for working moms, either. Mothers who still worked were a little less stressed than stay-at-home moms . . . but still exhibited some signs of depression. --In other words: Basically ALL moms are bummed out about trying to balance their life, family, work, and mental health. Have a great week! (Jezebel)

Best Engagement Photos Ever? A Couple Fights Off a Zombie Attack In the Middle of their Shoot:

This is one of those things you look at and say, "Man, I wish I'd thought of that." Juliana Park and Ben Lee of Santa Clarita, California have broken the mold on the traditional, boring engaged-couple photo shoot. --Theirs starts off with them having a picnic in the hills. Then a ZOMBIE . . . at least, a friend dressed as a zombie . . . appears in the background. They fight him off, kill him, and go back to their picnic. --Juliana and Ben are getting married on October 15th. (Daily Mail) (--Here's the photo sequence.)

Dogs are Democrats and Cats are Republicans?

It's obvious our pets don't have the capacity to be members of different political parties. Unless there's a "licking your own genitals" party. They ALL believe in that. --But an editorial on the website Politico decided to try to figure out what political philosophy your pets have. And they decided: Dogs are Democrats . . . cats are Republicans.

--Here's why . . .

--DOGS are communal . . . they sacrifice personal welfare for the benefit of the group . . . they like rules and regulations, and being told what to do . . . they don't have a lot of initiative . . . and they like doing the same tricks for the same basic rewards. --They can be community organizers, like PRESIDENT OBAMA was, when they herd sheep. And they get into selfless causes, like sniffing for bombs or leading the blind.

--CATS are different. Quote, "When cats are born, they believe they're in a state of liberty, and from then on they are determined to keep it that way." They don't take orders. They don't do tricks. They want personal freedom. --They won't listen to your commands as a matter of principle. And when one kills a bird, it's not to share with other cats who were less fortunate and couldn't kill their own bird . . . they keep their own spoils. (Politico)

Not to Gross You Out, But You're Literally Breathing In Dog Poop:

There's nothing like waking up in the morning, stepping outside on a sunny day, and taking a deep breath to make you feel alive. --Unfortunately, we now know that deep breath means you're literally inhaling DOG POOP. --A team of researchers from the University of Colorado tested air samples from four cities, and found that the most dominant type of bacteria in the air is the kind that's found in dog feces. --They ran the study in Detroit, Cleveland, Chicago, and a small town in Wisconsin called Mayville. --Detroit and Cleveland had the highest amounts of bacteria, so naturally a lot of media reports went for the funny, by reporting that those cities "have dog poop in the air." But the researchers expect the numbers to be consistent in other big cities. --There could be a connection between the number of stray dogs and the amount of dog poop bacteria in the air . . . since stray dogs leave their mess everywhere, and give it a better chance to start swirling around. --Fortunately, it's just trace amounts, and PROBABLY won't have any health effects . . . at least, they don't think so. They say the main finding from the study is, quote, "how little we know about the bacteria we breathe in every day." (Miami Herald)

Flies Have Been Voted This Summer's Most Annoying Insect:

I hate to say it . . . but summer's almost over. You know it's true when you start to see these stupid 'Summer Wrap-up' type stories. --Orkin just released the results of a survey where they found the most annoying insects of the summer. And, in a little bit of an upset, the winners are . . . FLIES. --They beat out bees, mosquitoes, and finally ants. --Orkin says the weather this summer was ideal for flies . . . the switches between insane heat and pouring rain creates perfect conditions for flies looking for food and shelter. (PR Newswire)

A Former Oakland Raiders Cheerleader Became a Police Officer . . . and Is Suing the Department for Harassing Her:

In 1997, when Nicole Rosenstiel was 21, she became a cheerleader for the Oakland Raiders. She was a Raiderette for the next four years, until 2001. --Eventually she decided to change careers . . . maybe she got tired of dealing with drunk, violent Raider fans, and wearing a sexy uniform . . . and became a police woman. --From 2004 to 2009, Nicole worked for the Vacaville police department (--which is about 50 miles north of Oakland). --But she's been on administrative leave for the past two years, and is suing the police department for sexual harassment . . . because they teased her about being a Raiderette. --Co-workers left photos of her as a Raiderette around the department, and some of them were altered to include the caption, quote, "Stay away from my daddy, [B-word]." --Nicole also claims that a supervisor asked her to stop using the department's gym, because her appearance was a distraction to the other officers trying to work out. --And during a change of shift one day, a sergeant asked for a show of hands of who wanted to see Nicole naked, and one of the officers told her, quote, "Nice rack." (SF Gate)

A Guy Joked on Twitter About Having Morton's Greet Him at the Airport With a Steak . . . and They Did:

Peter Shankman is a fairly prominent entrepreneur and investor out of New York. Last week, he was flying to Newark airport after a meeting in Tampa, Florida. And he was in the mood for some steak. --Before his flight, he jokingly tweeted to Morton's Steakhouse, quote, "Hey Mortons, can you meet me at Newark airport with a porterhouse when I land in two hours? K, thanks [smiley face]." --And . . . THEY DID. --When he got to his car after the flight, a waiter was there from the Morton's in Hackensack, New Jersey, with a steak, shrimp, a side of potatoes, bread, two napkins, and silverware. --It was pretty impressive for Morton's to read the tweet and get it all together in just a few hours . . . it's the kind of customer service that frankly doesn't exist anymore. And a brilliant way to get a ton of publicity. --Does it hurt that Shankman has more than 100,000 Twitter followers and a fairly popular blog? It probably made their decision easier . . . but still doesn't cheapen what they did. (Time)

Would You Drink a Special "9/11 Memorial Wine"?

We're just a few weeks away from the tenth anniversary of the September 11th attacks. For most of us, that's an occasion to reflect on the tragedy, the fallen, and how life changed permanently that day. --For a winery on Long Island, apparently it's an occasion for SALES. --Lieb Cellars in Mattituck, New York has released two special 9/11 MEMORIAL WINES . . . a white Chardonnay and a red Merlot. Both were made, quote, "using grapes grown 90 miles from the site of the World Trade Center." --The whole thing sounds like they're cashing in on the tragedy . . . although they're making, quote, "a generous donation to the 9/11 Memorial to honor and remember the victims." --But just because it's wine doesn't make it less crass: The website Gawker used a good analogy about the appropriateness of 9/11 wine.
-Think about the outrage if, quote, "McDonald's unveiled a new 9/11-themed McRib sandwich made with beef from Pennsylvania cows raised near Flight 93 Memorial Park." (Gawker)


Mugshot of the Day: A Man Who Stole Copper Wire and Cut the Power to a Nudist Resort Has a T-Shirt That Reads "I Will Not Stare at Boobies":

It was almost fate that 25-year-old Joshua Petty of Hudson, Florida committed this crime. Because his old mugshot matches up with his new criminal offense PERFECTLY. --On August 4th, Joshua was part of a three-person team that stole copper wiring from an electric substation in Pasco County, Florida. In the process, it knocked out power to thousands of people in the area. --Including all the guests at Gulf Coast Resort . . . a NUDIST RESORT nearby. --And here's how fate comes in. Last time Joshua was arrested for theft, in his mugshot, he's wearing a T-shirt that reads, quote, "I Will Not Stare at Boobies. I Will Not Stare at Boobies." --Police have caught one of the other thieves, 23-year-old Marylynn Maldonado. They're still looking for Joshua and the other thief, 29-year-old Donald Rebston. --As for the nudists, their power was restored in about 90 minutes. The owner of the resort, Susan Cowan, says it got pretty hot during that time without air conditioning, but . . . --Quote, "All they had to do was strip down, get into the nice, cool pool and relax . . . that's the good thing about being in a nudist's resort." (CBS 10 - Tampa)

A Middle School Girl Helped a Kid With His Homework . . . So He Stalked Her for the Next 17 Years:

Let this be a lesson to you, kids: You know those weird kids who no one talks to? There's a reason for it. And you shouldn't talk to them either. --Back in 1994, Tracy Lundeen was a 13-year-old student at McKnight Middle School in Renton, Washington. In the library one day, she helped a boy named Shawn Moul with his homework. He was kind of a loner and an outcast. --And in the 17 years since then . . . HE'S NEVER STOPPED STALKING HER. --Seriously. Ever since 1994 he's stalked her, harassed her, and sent her countless threatening letters . . . even when he's been locked up. He also stalked her family members to try to get to her. --He was most recently sent to prison in 2001 for harassment . . . and while he was there, he sent threats to the judge and prosecutor, saying he'd murder and mutilate them and their loved ones and PETS until he got to talk to Tracy. --On Friday, he was back in court facing more felony harassment charges. He could get DECADES in prison. --Unfortunately, Tracy says, quote, "I would like to say that this is going to be the end, but it's not. He still writes from jail. It's just a matter of how many letters get out." (Seattle Post-Intelligencer)


Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

There's a blind guy in Milford, Connecticut who just left his job as a traffic reporter . . . so he can concentrate on writing movie reviews? (Full Story) (--You can email this guy at

A professor at Oklahoma State University has concluded that colleges charge high tuition because . . . well, because they can. (Full Story)

The authors of a new book are calling for the creation of PTED, or "Post-Traumatic Embitterment Disorder." Because blaming other people for your problems is bad for your health. (Full Story)

A 34-year-old woman in Daytona Beach left her five-year-old in a stroller on the sidewalk in the rain for 20 minutes . . . so she could drink beer in a bar called "Crooks Den". (Full Story)

If you care, The White House released PRESIDENT OBAMA'S summer reading list. It's mostly fiction, and you've probably never heard of the titles. (Full Story)

An administrator at Florida State University was fired for being an alcoholic . . . but he's suing for wrongful termination because according to him, it's a handicap, and the school should have provided, quote, "reasonable accommodations." (Full Story)


#1.) And Now . . . A Montage of Jon Stewart Starting Questions by Saying, "Let Me Ask You a Question":

It seems like half the time JON STEWART asks a celebrity something on "The Daily Show", he starts by saying, "Let me ask you a question" . . . or some version of it. And there's a new montage online that proves he's been doing it since at least 1999. (--Search for " Can Jon Stewart Ask You a Question.")

#2.) The Former Labor Secretary Is in a New Parody About the Crazy Things That'll Happen if America's Credit Rating Keeps Going Down:

Former U.S. Secretary of Labor ROBERT REICH is in a new parody video on where he explains what'll happen if America's credit rating keeps being downgraded. --He says if we drop to A-Minus, America has to move back in with England, and every Red Lobster will become a Long John Silver's. At Triple-B, the flag will have to choose between stars and stripes. --And if we fall the whole way to Double B-Minus . . . John Tavolta loses his telekinetic powers in the movie "Phenomenon" (???). (--Search for "Robert Reich Explains the Credit Downgrade.")

#3.) Worst Job Ever? There's a kid in Morocco Who Tans Hides by Wading Through Pigeon Droppings and Dead Animal Parts . . . And He Makes $2 a Day:

If you're annoyed it's Monday and you hate your job, there's a kid who works at an animal hide tannery in Morocco who'd like you to SHUT THE HELL UP. --There's a video online from a "National Geographic" segment about workers who have to stand in a vat of disgusting water . . . filled with ANIMAL SKINS AND PIGEON DROPPINGS . . . and soften animal hides by stepping on them. --The water is filled with bacteria . . . but they say the worst part is the STENCH. And they only make TWO DOLLARS A DAY. But after twenty or thirty years on the job . . . they can make up to five dollars a day. (--Search for " This Is a Crazy Job." He gets in the water at 1:10 and 2:26.)
he Five Weirdest Things That Influence How Your Food Tastes:

There's a new article on about the five weirdest things that influence how your food tastes. Check 'em out . . .

#1.) Color. Studies have shown that the color of a drink influences how sweet, sour, or bitter you think it is. Green makes it seem sweeter, and yellow makes it seem less sweet. --But it's not just the color of the drink that matters. The color of the GLASS also has an effect. One study showed that if you serve coffee in a yellow or red cup, people will perceive it as being hotter than if it's in a blue or green cup. --But the best example was mentioned in the book "Fast Food Nation". In the 1970's, scientists put people in a special room and gave them what LOOKED like a normal dinner consisting of steak, French fries, and peas. --But they used special lighting to hide the fact that steak was died blue, the fries were green, and the peas were red. -The volunteers had no problem eating the food when it looked normal. But when they found out they'd just eaten a blue steak, they got sick.

#2.) Your Mood. In a 1998 study, researchers asked people to rate how sweet an artificial sweetener was. Then they had them rate it again . . . after making them try to solve unsolvable puzzles, and randomly blasting them with loud horn sounds. --After they were annoyed, the volunteers rated the artificial sweetener as LESS sweet . . . even though it was the exact same thing.

#3.) Background Noise. Basically, if it's too loud, your senses get overloaded and your brain loses the ability to gauge how sweet or salty your food is. That's why the music at restaurants is pretty quiet. --But silence isn't good either. Studies have shown that food tastes best if the music in the restaurant is between 62 and 67 decibels . . . which is about the same level as a normal conversation.

#4.) The Label. Just suggesting that it MIGHT not taste good is apparently enough. For example, in one study people had to try two pieces of lunchmeat: One with a label that said "low-fat," and one that didn't. --And even though the one that said "low-fat" WASN'T low-fat, they still said it tasted worse. --Another study also found that just adding the word "substance" to a food label made the food taste worse.

#5.) What Your Mom Ate While She Was Pregnant. This one's more of a stretch. But in one study, kids were more likely to enjoy carrot juice . . . or even CRAVE it . . . if their mother drank it while she was pregnant or breastfeeding. (


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