LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS

SIX TIPS FOR MAKING YOUR LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP WORK:

#1.) SET A TIME TO TALK. Create a schedule for talking on the phone. Spontaneous contact is still a good idea, but setting a time will give you both a sense of security in the relationship.

Talk to each other about your friends and the things you're doing while you're apart. Sharing mundane details will make you feel like you're a part of each other's lives, regardless of how far away from each other you live.

#2.) VISIT OFTEN. Try to visit each other as much as possible. You can even try meeting at a halfway point. That way, neither of you feels put out, and the place you visit can always be "your spot."

Always having an in-person meeting scheduled gives you something to look forward to during the long times in between visits.

#3.) MAKE USE OF TECHNOLOGY. Keep your eye out for tech devices that will help keep you connected. A digital camera is great for showing off a new haircut, and you can IM someone in another state faster than you can walk to your coworker's cubicle.

#4.) DATE OUTSIDE THE BOX. Creativity will help keep your relationship alive. While same-city couples can easily wind up watching "Friends" reruns together, you need to maximize the time you have together, so plan a few fun dates in advance. Or try going on a "virtual date" where you each visit an ice cream shop in your respective cities, talking on your cell phone the whole time.

#5.) FIGHT FAIR . . . AND FAST. A disagreement that might usually be resolved with a quick hug or a sincere "sorry" can be intensified by distance. It's easy to misunderstand emails when you can't hear someone's voice or read their body language.

To resolve things quickly and calmly, explain why you're upset during your next regular phone call. Calling immediately can make your partner feel ambushed, and emailing can create more misunderstandings.

If things do escalate, stick to a rule: When it comes to telephone conversations, it's okay to take a break and arrange to call back later, but NEVER hang up on someone.

#6.) PLAN FOR THE FUTURE. Every once in a while, have one of those annoying "define the relationship" talks, so you're on the same page. For example, it's important to know if neither of you plans to move for the other, so you can evaluate your future.

Schedule talks when you can take stock of what's working, what's not, and what you both want to happen next. It might be uncomfortable . . . but people who live a few minutes apart have to do it too. (Happen Magazine)