HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (9-08-09)

SHE OUGHTA KNOW BETTER

The typical BRITNEY SPEARS concert features Britney lip-synching her own songs. But now she's trying something new: Not lip-synching OTHER people's songs.

On Saturday night, Britney performed a cover of the ALANIS MORISSETTE hit, "You Oughta Know", at a show in Greensboro, North Carolina. And she was actually singing it LIVE.

(--The audio is bad, but you can sort of hear it in this video . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KtmYrh3KX_A

NFL STAR SHAWNE MERRIMAN WAS ARRESTED FOR ALLEGEDLY ASSAULTING TILA TEQUILA . . . BUT HE DENIES IT:

San Diego Chargers linebacker SHAWNE MERRIMAN was arrested early Sunday morning for allegedly assaulting TILA NGUYEN . . . a.k.a. TILA TEQUILA. If you somehow don't know, shestarred in that bisexual MTV reality dating show, "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila". Everyone is saying Shawne and Tila are (or were) DATING . . . although this is the first time we've heard that.

Here's what we know: At around 3:45 A.M. on Sunday morning, Tila called the police and told them that Shawne had, quote, "choked and physically restrained" her when she tried to leave his home. (--In the San Diego area.)

A spokesman for the San Diego County Sheriff's Department says Tila made a "citizen's arrest" . . . (???) . . . and based on that, they took Shawne to jail on suspicion of battery and false imprisonment. He was later released on $58,000 bail. --Tila went to the hospital, and has since been released. There's no word on her condition . . . or what injuries, if any, she suffered in the altercation.

Shawne says Tila's allegations are BOGUS, and that he was trying to HELP her. --His attorney released a statement saying: Quote, "During the evening, Ms. Tequila was extremely intoxicated, inebriated and Mr. Merriman did everything he could to assist her in arranging for transportation to leave his home. -"At no time did Mr. Merriman assault her . . . at no time did Mr. Merriman keep her against her will. His intentions were nothing but good."

And yesterday, Shawne elaborated on that in his own statement. He said, quote, "At the time, I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in . . . and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided. --"We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their personal safety. I in no way caused any harm to [her], however, paramedics were called and she was examined but no injuries were reported. -"There have been no charges filed against me." -"I will continue to cooperate fully with the [authorities], and I look forward to clearing my name regarding these false allegations. I want to put this behind me so I can continue to focus on a successful season for the San Diego Chargers."

Chargers General Manager A.J. SMITH released a statement, saying: Quote, "It's disappointing to hear about the issue involving Shawne Merriman. We'll continue to monitor the situation and let the legal process run its course." --Tila has yet to make a formal statement, but she took to Twitter to deny that she was hammered. She wrote, quote, "I am allergic to alcohol. It has been publicly known for years. That is how I got the name Tila "Tequila" cuz the irony. I can't drink."

For the record, a police spokesman reportedly said that deputies DID confirm that Tila had been drinking . . . but there aren't any further details on that. (--Not to make any presumptions here, but remember: Tila signed a citizen's arrest warrant. So if she's stretching the truth at all, she could be in some trouble. Perhaps she's paving the way for an "allergic reaction" defense . . . ???)

The authorities are still investigating this mess. At some point, the evidence will be handed over to the District Attorney, who will decided whether to press charges.

KEVIN JONAS IS ASKING *BOTH* OF HIS BROTHERS TO BE THE "BEST MAN" AT HIS WEDDING:

Ever since KEVIN JONAS announced he was marrying his longtime girlfriend, Danielle Deleasa, people have been asking the all-important question: Which Jonas Brother will be the Best Man? NICK or JOE?

Now we finally know the answer: They BOTH will. --In an interview with a Canadian radio station, Kevin said, quote, "They both are [my best man]. It works out really well because there are two maids of honor and two best men."

In an earlier interview, Joe Jonas made it seem like it was going to be him . . . and that each brother would then ask the next youngest brother to be their Best Man. --He said, quote, "I want it. I'll be the best Best Man ever. Eventually if I get married, [the best man is] gonna be Nick, and when it's Nick, [the best man is] gonna be Frankie." (--Frankie is the littlest Jonas brother, a.k.a., the "Bonus Jonas." He's the voice of the little boy in that new movie "Ponyo". Your kids have probably also seen him on the Jonas Brothers TV show, "JONAS".)


THE JACKSONS SAY THE MEDIA DISRUPTED MICHAEL'S BURIAL SERVICE:

MICHAEL JACKSON was finally laid to rest last Thursday . . . in the Grand Mausoleum at Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Glendale, California, with a service attended by 200 family members and close friends . . . but the controversy continues. --Michael's youngest brother, RANDY JACKSON, released a statement the next day, about how the family was disappointed by the intrusive media presence.

It read, quote, "I was dismayed last night and again today at the coverage I saw on television of our ceremony for Michael. We had asked the media to respect the privacy and the sanctity of this event; to give us one moment of privacy to mourn as a family out of the public spotlight. --"Unfortunately, despite a no-fly zone around Forest Lawn, many media organizations decided to ignore our wishes. They employed helicopters that not only surreptitiously recorded our private family ceremony, but also severely disrupted it.

"I therefore ask today that media organizations airing helicopter footage of the ceremony we held for my brother immediately pull that footage from their air and refrain from airing it in the future."

Of course, in addition to the approved footage of the drive to the cemetery, the Jacksons themselves had both the service AND the reception afterwards filmed . . . for an upcoming A&E special, and a later DVD release. (???)

AL SHARPTON TWITTERED THROUGHOUT MICHAEL JACKSON'S BURIAL SERVICE:

Probably my favorite part about the media coverage of MICHAEL JACKSON'S burial service . . . was that AL SHARPTON twittered during the entire thing. --The Jackson family is complaining that the media violated the privacy of the event . . . even though they were filming the whole thing themselves. But Reverend Al takes the cake in terms of tastelessness. --He tweeted, quote, "I am sitting at the burial services of michael jackson. I am talking to actress lisaraye mc coy . . . and tom mesereau . . . Tom represented MJ in the molestation case. (???)

"We are all discussing his battles. What MJ went through was so unfair, yet he succeeded. In the end, he was the biggest artist ever. He faced the headwinds but he made it." --Then, quote, "I just spoke at the conclusion of tributes. Gladys Knight sang her heart out. Now we prepare to lay him to rest." --And finally, quote, "MICHAEL JACKSON HAS BEEN LAID TO REST." (--All caps! How appropriate!)


THE JERRY LEWIS TELETHON PRODUCED OVER $60 MILLION . . . AND SOME AWKWARD MOMENTS:

You'll be happy to know that even in this bad economy, the 44th annual JERRY LEWIS Labor Day telethon for the Muscular Dystrophy Association raised about $61 million yesterday. --You'll also be happy to know that it produced some truly awful moments of entertainment. Highlights included CHARO butchering "Please Don't Stop The Music" by RIHANNA, and then giving Jerry a lapdance . . .http://perezhilton.com/2009-09-07-charo-does-rihanna

And Jerry dissing the casino that sponsored the event . . . because their, quote "goddamn advertisement" was in the way of the donation board, and he couldn't see it. http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=7b2f2b98-5a56-449e-95f5-9d83d3bc1267