April 7, 2010
HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW
SANDRA BULLOCK SAYS "THERE IS NO SEX TAPE":
Over the weekend, a RIDICULOUS rumor started going around about a SANDRA BULLOCK / JESSE JAMES sex video. --It was so stupid we ignored it on the spot. But we should pass along that Sandra issued an official denial yesterday. --She said, quote, "There is no sex tape. There never has been one and there never will be one." --Just for the sake of your personal knowledge, we might as well tell you what was supposedly on the video. --Meanwhile, RadarOnline.com is now claiming that Jesse has more than a DOZEN homemade sex tapes . . . but they're with OTHER WOMEN, not Sandra. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "Most of the tapes feature a mass amount of Nazi paraphernalia. It's all really quite disturbing." --Someone who watched one of the tapes says, quote, "What I saw was a naked woman on her knees and Jesse in a Nazi hat waving his arm in a salute. It looked like the woman's hands were bound. --"He was shouting and singing and appearing to swig from a bottle of bourbon every now and then."
JIM CARREY AND JENNY MCCARTHY HAVE BROKEN UP:
After five years together, JIM CARREY and JENNY MCCARTHY have decided to go their separate ways. --Jenny issued a statement saying, quote, "I'm so grateful for the years Jim and I shared together. I will continue to be in his daughter's life and will always keep Jim as a leading man in my heart." --And Jim posted this on Twitter . . . quote, "I'm grateful 4 the many blessings we've shared and I wish her the very best! S'okay!" --And here's the official statement from Jim's rep . . . quote, "Jim and Jenny have recently decided to end their five-year relationship. They are grateful for the many blessings they have shared and wish each other the very best." (--As for why it happened, this one seems to have everybody stumped. Nobody saw it coming. Jim and Jenny always talked about not being interested in marriage . . . but at the same time, they seemed totally devoted to each other.) (--Jim was extremely close with Jenny's autistic son . . . and Jenny was just recently talking about how excited she was to be a 37-year-old grandma to Jim's daughter's new baby.)
BRETT FAVRE IS A GRANDFATHER:
Now BRETT FAVRE absolutely HAS TO play another season in the NFL . . . just so he can say he played as a GRANDFATHER. --Brett's 21-year-old daughter Brittany gave birth to a baby boy on Friday. She and her husband named him Parker Brett. (--What are the stats on Grandpas being active players in the NFL? Have there even been any before? Any sports savants out there who can get us up to speed on this?)
VIVID ENTERTAINMENT WILL DELAY THE RELEASE OF THE MINDY MCCREADY SEX VIDEO:
Vivid Entertainment is delaying the release of the MINDY MCCREADY sex video, while they make sure they definitely have the right to put it out there in the first place. --The company says, quote, "We've decided to take a little extra time to study all of our documentation and other clearances before we proceed." --Mindy's lawyers . . . who are trying to block the release . . . said, quote, "We stand by our original statement that Ms. McCready has never made any video for Vivid, or any entertainment company of that genre, and that there is no proof of authorization from Vivid to release any likeness of Ms. McCready, in any format. --"We have formally requested that they provide proof of authorization, or refrain from using Ms. McCready's likeness, period." (--The video . . . titled "Mindy McCready: Baseball Mistress" . . . was originally supposed to come out on April 19th.)
MICHAEL LOHAN IS MARRYING JON GOSSELIN'S OLD GIRLFRIEND:
Two idiots are about to become even BIGGER idiots. MICHAEL LOHAN is engaged to KATE MAJOR . . . one of JON GOSSELIN'S ex-girlfriends. They're planning on getting married before the end of the year. --Kate is 27 . . . Michael will turn 50 on April 25th.
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT SAYS SHE'S BEEN CHEATED ON A LOT:
If I was slicing myself off a piece of JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT whenever the spirit moved me, I'm not sure what else I'd need. But apparently, not everyone thinks like me. --On RYAN SEACREST'S radio show yesterday, Jennifer said she's been cheated on A LOT. --She didn't name any names, but she said, quote, "It's brutal. Once I found out on television and that was awesome. And then another time I found them together . . . and that was, woooo! That was not good." --Another time, she said she had a feeling a guy was cheating on her, so she checked into it and, quote, "found some phone stuff."
MARK MCGRATH OF SUGAR RAY IS EXPECTING TWINS:
Over the weekend, a RIDICULOUS rumor started going around about a SANDRA BULLOCK / JESSE JAMES sex video. --It was so stupid we ignored it on the spot. But we should pass along that Sandra issued an official denial yesterday. --She said, quote, "There is no sex tape. There never has been one and there never will be one." --Just for the sake of your personal knowledge, we might as well tell you what was supposedly on the video. --Meanwhile, RadarOnline.com is now claiming that Jesse has more than a DOZEN homemade sex tapes . . . but they're with OTHER WOMEN, not Sandra. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "Most of the tapes feature a mass amount of Nazi paraphernalia. It's all really quite disturbing." --Someone who watched one of the tapes says, quote, "What I saw was a naked woman on her knees and Jesse in a Nazi hat waving his arm in a salute. It looked like the woman's hands were bound. --"He was shouting and singing and appearing to swig from a bottle of bourbon every now and then."
JIM CARREY AND JENNY MCCARTHY HAVE BROKEN UP:
After five years together, JIM CARREY and JENNY MCCARTHY have decided to go their separate ways. --Jenny issued a statement saying, quote, "I'm so grateful for the years Jim and I shared together. I will continue to be in his daughter's life and will always keep Jim as a leading man in my heart." --And Jim posted this on Twitter . . . quote, "I'm grateful 4 the many blessings we've shared and I wish her the very best! S'okay!" --And here's the official statement from Jim's rep . . . quote, "Jim and Jenny have recently decided to end their five-year relationship. They are grateful for the many blessings they have shared and wish each other the very best." (--As for why it happened, this one seems to have everybody stumped. Nobody saw it coming. Jim and Jenny always talked about not being interested in marriage . . . but at the same time, they seemed totally devoted to each other.) (--Jim was extremely close with Jenny's autistic son . . . and Jenny was just recently talking about how excited she was to be a 37-year-old grandma to Jim's daughter's new baby.)
BRETT FAVRE IS A GRANDFATHER:
Now BRETT FAVRE absolutely HAS TO play another season in the NFL . . . just so he can say he played as a GRANDFATHER. --Brett's 21-year-old daughter Brittany gave birth to a baby boy on Friday. She and her husband named him Parker Brett. (--What are the stats on Grandpas being active players in the NFL? Have there even been any before? Any sports savants out there who can get us up to speed on this?)
VIVID ENTERTAINMENT WILL DELAY THE RELEASE OF THE MINDY MCCREADY SEX VIDEO:
Vivid Entertainment is delaying the release of the MINDY MCCREADY sex video, while they make sure they definitely have the right to put it out there in the first place. --The company says, quote, "We've decided to take a little extra time to study all of our documentation and other clearances before we proceed." --Mindy's lawyers . . . who are trying to block the release . . . said, quote, "We stand by our original statement that Ms. McCready has never made any video for Vivid, or any entertainment company of that genre, and that there is no proof of authorization from Vivid to release any likeness of Ms. McCready, in any format. --"We have formally requested that they provide proof of authorization, or refrain from using Ms. McCready's likeness, period." (--The video . . . titled "Mindy McCready: Baseball Mistress" . . . was originally supposed to come out on April 19th.)
MICHAEL LOHAN IS MARRYING JON GOSSELIN'S OLD GIRLFRIEND:
Two idiots are about to become even BIGGER idiots. MICHAEL LOHAN is engaged to KATE MAJOR . . . one of JON GOSSELIN'S ex-girlfriends. They're planning on getting married before the end of the year. --Kate is 27 . . . Michael will turn 50 on April 25th.
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT SAYS SHE'S BEEN CHEATED ON A LOT:
If I was slicing myself off a piece of JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT whenever the spirit moved me, I'm not sure what else I'd need. But apparently, not everyone thinks like me. --On RYAN SEACREST'S radio show yesterday, Jennifer said she's been cheated on A LOT. --She didn't name any names, but she said, quote, "It's brutal. Once I found out on television and that was awesome. And then another time I found them together . . . and that was, woooo! That was not good." --Another time, she said she had a feeling a guy was cheating on her, so she checked into it and, quote, "found some phone stuff."
MARK MCGRATH OF SUGAR RAY IS EXPECTING TWINS:
MARK MCGRATH of SUGAR RAY is about to become a dad . . . twice. His girlfriend Carin Kingsland is expecting twins . . . a boy and a girl . . . in May. They got pregnant through in vitro fertilization. --He says, quote, "I love them already, but I need them to come out so I can really shower them with love." --McGrath . . . who'll be hosting Fox's "Don't Forget the Lyrics" in the fall . . . says he and Carin got engaged on New Year's Eve. They've been dating on-and-off for 16 years.
COREY HAIM OBTAINED 553 PILLS IN THE MONTH BEFORE HIS DEATH:
California Attorney General Jerry Brown called COREY HAIM a "poster child" for prescription drug abuse yesterday. --Brown said that in the month before Corey's death, he'd obtained 553 pills from seven different doctors. The meds included Vicodin, Xanax, Valium and Soma. --Corey also apparently had an illegal prescription pad, so he could write his own prescriptions, and forge a doctor's signature. --Brown said, quote, "Legal, prescribed drugs can be just as dangerous as street drugs, and doctor shopping can be deadly. This is an epidemic." --Ironically, at the time of his death last month, Corey was also planning to do a, quote, "media special on how easy it was for him to obtain pain medications." (--The official cause of Corey's death hasn't been determined yet. Authorities are still waiting for the results of toxicology tests.)
DAN PATRICK SAYS *NOBODY* DRAGGED THEIR FEET IN LETTING ERIN ANDREWS KNOW HER LIFE WAS BEING THREATENED:
COREY HAIM OBTAINED 553 PILLS IN THE MONTH BEFORE HIS DEATH:
California Attorney General Jerry Brown called COREY HAIM a "poster child" for prescription drug abuse yesterday. --Brown said that in the month before Corey's death, he'd obtained 553 pills from seven different doctors. The meds included Vicodin, Xanax, Valium and Soma. --Corey also apparently had an illegal prescription pad, so he could write his own prescriptions, and forge a doctor's signature. --Brown said, quote, "Legal, prescribed drugs can be just as dangerous as street drugs, and doctor shopping can be deadly. This is an epidemic." --Ironically, at the time of his death last month, Corey was also planning to do a, quote, "media special on how easy it was for him to obtain pain medications." (--The official cause of Corey's death hasn't been determined yet. Authorities are still waiting for the results of toxicology tests.)
DAN PATRICK SAYS *NOBODY* DRAGGED THEIR FEET IN LETTING ERIN ANDREWS KNOW HER LIFE WAS BEING THREATENED:
Sportscaster DAN PATRICK says that nobody dragged their feet when it came to letting ESPN reporter ERIN ANDREWS know that her life was being threatened. --Erin was notified late last week that "The Dan Patrick Show" . . . which airs on DirecTV . . . was receiving e-mails threatening Erin's life.-And it turned out that the e-mails started coming LAST SEPTEMBER . . . although at first, they were just sexual in nature. They didn't start turning violent until last month. --Still, Erin was pretty upset that nobody told her about them until now. --But on his radio show Monday, Patrick explained that the show wasn't even aware it was receiving these e-mails until one of his assistants opened one last week. --That's because the show receives HUNDREDS of e-mails a day . . . and most of them are never even opened. --But once the staffer discovered last week's e-mail, he brought it to Dan's attention, who passed it along to DirecTV. They immediately took it to the police. --In the meantime, the staffer went back into the archive of unopened e-mails and found all the rest that had been piling up since last September --After explaining that, Patrick said, quote, "I want to make it very, very clear: We did not sit on any type of information that had to do with these death threats. As soon as we saw it, we passed it on." (--Here's video of Dan's explanation . . .)http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=d2336407-216e-4854-a87d-dffb88cebe30
UNDER-INFLATED TIRES ARE BEING BLAMED FOR THE TRAVIS BARKER / DJ AM PLANE CRASH:
Federal investigators are blaming under-inflated tires for the Learjet crash that killed four people and seriously injured BLINK-182 drummer TRAVIS BARKER and DJ AM back in September of 2008. --The investigators told the National Transportation Safety Board that the problem is widespread because operators of air charters aren't checking tire pressure on their business jets frequently enough. --All four of the plane's tires exploded as the plane sped down the runway at 150 miles per hour. Pieces of the tires, hurled at high speeds, damaged the plane's hydraulic system, which caused the brakes to fail. --Barker and DJ AM were the only survivors of the crash . . . but AM died of a drug overdose last year.
DR. CONRAD MURRAY WILL NOT COP A PLEA:
So-called "sources" tell TMZ that DR. CONRAD MURRAY is confident he'll be found not guilty in MICHAEL JACKSON'S death. --Thus, he will not plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter or a lesser charge (--Supposedly, he plans to argue that the dose of propofol that killed Michael was administered by Michael himself. His people have NOT confirmed this, however.) --One thing he is not as confident about is his future in medicine. Authorities in California are already gunning for his medical license. --And he's afraid that if it gets revoked, the medical boards in Texas and Nevada . . . which is where he practices . . . will follow suit.
O.J. SIMPSON'S ACQUITTAL SUIT HAS FOUND A HOME:
UNDER-INFLATED TIRES ARE BEING BLAMED FOR THE TRAVIS BARKER / DJ AM PLANE CRASH:
Federal investigators are blaming under-inflated tires for the Learjet crash that killed four people and seriously injured BLINK-182 drummer TRAVIS BARKER and DJ AM back in September of 2008. --The investigators told the National Transportation Safety Board that the problem is widespread because operators of air charters aren't checking tire pressure on their business jets frequently enough. --All four of the plane's tires exploded as the plane sped down the runway at 150 miles per hour. Pieces of the tires, hurled at high speeds, damaged the plane's hydraulic system, which caused the brakes to fail. --Barker and DJ AM were the only survivors of the crash . . . but AM died of a drug overdose last year.
DR. CONRAD MURRAY WILL NOT COP A PLEA:
So-called "sources" tell TMZ that DR. CONRAD MURRAY is confident he'll be found not guilty in MICHAEL JACKSON'S death. --Thus, he will not plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter or a lesser charge (--Supposedly, he plans to argue that the dose of propofol that killed Michael was administered by Michael himself. His people have NOT confirmed this, however.) --One thing he is not as confident about is his future in medicine. Authorities in California are already gunning for his medical license. --And he's afraid that if it gets revoked, the medical boards in Texas and Nevada . . . which is where he practices . . . will follow suit.
O.J. SIMPSON'S ACQUITTAL SUIT HAS FOUND A HOME:
The Armani suit that O.J. SIMPSON wore when he was acquitted of the murders of his ex-wife NICOLE and her friend RON GOLDMAN has found a home. --It's going to a place called the Newseum in Washington, D.C., which, according to its website, offers visitors, quote, "an experience that blends five centuries of news history with up-to-the-second technology and hands-on exhibits." (--You can check the place out here . . .) http://www.newseum.org/ --Mike Gilbert . . . a former manager of O.J.'s who has the suit . . . will deliver it in person next week. He says, quote, "I hope it will be displayed in a way that will help people ponder the legal system and celebrity. --"I'm happy that it will go somewhere where people can see it and remember where they were that day in history." --Gilbert had been battling over ownership of the suit with Ron Goldman's father, Fred, for the past 13 years. Both sides finally agreed to donate it to a museum so that nobody would profit from it.
HERE'S A PICTURE OF MARIAH CAREY SURFING . . . WITH HER DOGS:
MARIAH CAREY went surfing the other day in Puerto Rico . . . with her dogs. (--Here's what that looked like . . .)http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01019/snf07bizmc1-682_1019607a.jpg
NICHOLAS BRENDON HAS BEEN CHARGED WITH BATTERY AGAINST POLICE OFFICERS:
HERE'S A PICTURE OF MARIAH CAREY SURFING . . . WITH HER DOGS:
MARIAH CAREY went surfing the other day in Puerto Rico . . . with her dogs. (--Here's what that looked like . . .)http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01019/snf07bizmc1-682_1019607a.jpg
NICHOLAS BRENDON HAS BEEN CHARGED WITH BATTERY AGAINST POLICE OFFICERS:
Last month, former "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" actor NICHOLAS BRENDON was being drunk and disorderly in Venice, California. --Someone called the cops, but when they arrived, Brendon THREW PUNCHES, then tried to run away. So they chased him down and tasered him. TWICE. --Well, yesterday Brendon was charged with four misdemeanors . . . two counts of battery against a police officer, one count of resisting arrest and one count of vandalism. --He's looking at two years behind bars and a $4,000 fine if convicted.
WINONA RYDER WILL PLAY KEVIN JAMES' WIFE IN A MOVIE:
WINONA RYDER WILL PLAY KEVIN JAMES' WIFE IN A MOVIE:
WINONA RYDER has signed on to play KEVIN JAMES' wife in a movie called "Cheaters". --The movie stars VINCE VAUGHN as a man who spots his buddy's wife with another guy . . . and has to decide whether or not to tell him. Kevin will play the friend, and Winona is his cheating wife, obviously. --RON HOWARD is directing. It's due in theaters sometime next year.
HARRISON FORD MIGHT BE IN "COWBOYS AND ALIENS":
HARRISON FORD MIGHT BE IN "COWBOYS AND ALIENS":
This isn't definite yet, but there's some talk going around that HARRISON FORD might have joined the cast of "Cowboys and Aliens" . . . which is being made by "Iron Man" director JON FAVREAU. --"Cowboys and Aliens" is based on a graphic novel of the same name. (--"Graphic novel" is a term adults made up a while back so they didn't have to admit they were reading "comic books".) --It's an Old West story in which aliens invade Earth, and cowboys and Indians have to team up to beat them back. --DANIEL CRAIG and OLIVIA WILDE are already confirmed. (--The movie is due out next summer. We'll let you know if this Harrison Ford thing pans out.)
NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN HAS EXPLAINED HER "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES" LAWSUIT . . . AND IS PREPARED FOR IT TO GET UGLY:
NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN HAS EXPLAINED HER "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES" LAWSUIT . . . AND IS PREPARED FOR IT TO GET UGLY:
NICOLLETTE SHERIDAN filed a $20 MILLION lawsuit against "Desperate Housewives" creator MARC CHERRY on Monday . . . accusing him of assault and battery, gender violence and wrongful termination. (--Nicollette's character, Edie Britt, was killed off the show last year.) -Now, her lawyer, Mark Baute, has issued a statement explaining why she filed the lawsuit. In a nutshell, Nicollette took action because she felt someone needed to do something . . . and ABC failed to help her after a private complaint. --The statement reads, quote, "Nicollette worked very hard on the show and was a model employee. Mr. Cherry's behavior towards Nicollette was and is nothing short of abusive and appalling. --"The lawsuit is not something Nicollette wanted to do, it's something she felt compelled to do. [She] asked ABC for help and protection from Mr. Cherry's abusive behavior, and ultimately, ABC was not willing or able to provide that protection. --"Sometimes the only way that a safe and normal work environment can be created is when a hard-working person like Nicollette stands up for herself and her rights, and in doing so help protect others who have had to work in a hostile environment." --Baute also said that Nicollette knows that this may not be an easy battle . . . and says that she's prepared for this thing to get UGLY. --He said, quote, "We expect the case to be hard fought, and it will not be a surprise if ABC and Mr. Cherry try to depict Nicollette to be something other than a team player and long-standing industry professional." --By the way, the pointless comments from anonymous sources . . . supposedly "on the set" or otherwise "close to the show" . . . have already started rolling in. --And not surprisingly, it's split. One source told E! Online, quote, "[Cherry] has a crazy temper and is often not logical. He feels he doesn't have to answer to anyone." --But another told TMZ, quote, "Nothing like this ever happened. [I] never saw anything questionable or negative." And yet another added, quote, "It's something that would have been discussed had it happened." --Cherry has yet to release a statement . . . and it doesn't sound like he's going to. --When contacted, he's been pointing to the statement ABC Studios released on Monday night . . . saying that they did look into complaints that Nicollette made against Cherry, and they were, quote, "found to be without merit."
JON GOSSELIN IS PLANNING ON GOING AFTER KATE . . . FOR BEING AN "ABSENTEE PARENT" WHILE ON "DANCING WITH THE STARS":
JON GOSSELIN has essentially fallen off the face of the Earth recently . . . while KATE GOSSELIN landed a gig on "Dancing with the Stars", and has her own reality show in the pipeline at TLC. --And since these people are completely FULL OF THEMSELVES . . . it wouldn't be surprising to hear that Jon is jealous of Kate, and is thinking of taking some sort of action against her. And yes, that's exactly what's happening. --Jon's lawyer, Anthony F. List, says he'll file legal papers against Kate this week . . . accusing her of being a, quote, "absentee parent" during her time on "Dancing". --Because of that, Jon is seeking primary physical custody of their eight children . . . and wants to change the terms of their child support arrangement. --List says, quote, "He wants equal say with custody, equal time, but if the circumstances remain as they are, with Kate being rarely home, Jon wants primary custody of the children. He is much better able to spend time with the children. --"Kate Gosselin can't have it both ways unless there is some balance, unless there are some opportunities for these eight children to be in her physical presence. The eight children are the innocent victims. This tears Jon up." --Kate's lawyer has already responded . . . saying that Kate is a, quote, "devoted mother," and this lawsuit would be, quote, "reckless [and] offensive." --Meanwhile, some people claim that Jon may have picked NOW to call Kate out because he wants to sabotage any promotion she does for her new book, "I Just Want You to Know: Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith, and Family" . . . which comes out next Tuesday.
MAURA TIERNEY IS RETURNING TO TV:
Last year, MAURA TIERNEY was forced to give up a role on the new NBC show, "Parenthood", after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. (--Her part went to LAUREN GRAHAM.) -Well, Maura is ready to return to TV. Her rep says, quote, "She has finished treatment and is doing very well and is happy to move forward with the next phase of her life." --That "next phase" will begin with Maura jumping back into her recurring role as Kelly on "Rescue Me". According to "TV Guide", she's already filming scenes . . . but she won't appear on the show again until NEXT year, when Season Seven airs. (--Season Six will premiere later THIS year.)
GABOUREY SIDIBE'S MOM WILL BE ON "AMERICA'S GOT TALENT":
Alice Tan Ridley . . . the mother of "Precious" star and Academy Award nominee GABOUREY SIDIBE . . . will compete on the next season of "America's Got Talent", according to RadarOnline.com. --Alice, if you haven't heard, has been earning money singing in the New York City subway system . . . for the past 18 years. (--Her turf is the Times Square station, Penn Station and 14th Street / Union Square.) --She says, quote, "It's a big break for me and I would like to follow in SUSAN BOYLE'S footsteps and become a star in my own right." (--Here again is video of Alice singing in the subway . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gIfxjAK7qs
AND NOW . . . ADAM LAMBERT WILL BE A MENTOR ON "IDOL":
If you thought "American Idol" was jumping the shark by having 17-year-old MILEY CYRUS serve as a celebrity mentor for the contestants, check this out: --Next week's mentor will be: ADAM LAMBERT, who just finished second on "Idol" LAST SEASON. (--Maybe next week they could bring back DIDI BENAMI, who was eliminated last week.) --There's no word on what next week's theme will be. So technically, QUEEN Week, or Songs Off Adam Lambert's Debut Album Week are still possibilities. --On next Wednesday's show, Adam will perform "Whataya Want from Me". --By the way, here's some random trivia: Last week, a "Dancing with the Stars" episode beat both of that week's episodes of "Idol" for the first time EVER. --It didn't happen head-to-head though. Monday's episode of "Dancing" attracted 23 million viewers . . . while Tuesday's "Idol" had 21.9 million viewers and Wednesday's "Idol" had 20.5 million.
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
HERE ARE A BUNCH OF STATS FROM THE 2010 "MAXIM" SEX SURVEY:
Now it's time to review some highlights of the 2010 "Maxim" magazine sex survey:
--47% of women admit to "sexting," and 70% admit they've hacked into their man's email account to make sure he wasn't cheating.--70% of women say they've slept with ten or fewer guys.--17% of women have had sex with a guy whose name they didn't know. And 26% slept with a guy they knew for less than five hours.--ONE in FOUR women say they love . . . not just like, LOVE . . . giving oral favors. --11% of women have slept with their boss at some point, and 6% have slept with a subordinate at work.--17% have done it with a guy they knew was married.--If they had the chance, and it was guaranteed their guy would never find out, 38% of women say they'd have sex with their, quote, "fantasy crush."--ONE in THREE women have no problem going all the way on a first date with a guy they really like.--31% of women have had sex with TWO or more men in one day. And 1.5% have done the nasty with more than THREE guys in a day. When you up the timeframe to a week, 17% have done it with three or more guys.--More than TWO-THIRDS of women have never had a threesome. As for the rest of them . . . 17% did it with two girls and one guy, 11% did it with two guys and one girl, and 3% did it with THREE GIRLS. (!!!)--ONE in THREE women think the "average guy" should have sex with six to ten women before settling down. 2% think he should be a virgin when he gets married. 1% thinks he should have sex with 40 or more women before getting married. --Overall, 7% of women say a guy's muscle tone and fitness isn't important to them at all. And 5% say the size of a guy's DONG doesn't matter at all. (Maxim)
YOU CAN CHECK "MARRIED" ON THE CENSUS FORM IF YOU'RE GAY . . . AND OTHER STUFF YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS YEAR'S CENSUS:
Last month, the U.S. Census Bureau sent out the 2010 census forms. Here are a few things you might not know about it:
#1.) About HALF of all Americans have already sent in their census forms, even though they aren't technically due until the end of the month. --If you don't send in the form by then, you can probably expect someone from the Census Bureau to come knocking at your door.
#2.) Officials say it costs $57 to send a census taker to just ONE house. And for every 1% of the population that returns the form on their own, the government saves $85 MILLION.
#3.) If you decide you're NEVER going to send in your census form, the Frequently Asked Questions section of the Census Bureau's website points out that you can be fined up to $5,000. But it's something that's only viewed as a, quote, "last resort."
#4.) And if they consider themselves married, for the first time ever, same-sex couples are being told to check the "husband" or "wife" boxes instead of the one marked "unmarried partner" . . . even if they aren't LEGALLY married. --A lot of people are upset about the change because they think it legitimizes gay marriage. But according to a Census Bureau official, quote, "We're treating the gay community the same as other segments of the population. --"There's a respect factor there. We've never asked people to show us their marriage licenses. We don't do that for straight people." --Whatever your opinion on THAT line of reasoning, surely you can still appreciate the delicious gayness of GEORGE TAKEI, and his PSA in support of the move. --Takei and his husband, Brad Altman, shot a public service announcement for a group called the Equal Roots Coalition. In the video, George is rocking his old Starfleet uniform, and Brad's wearing a phallic-shaped tin foil hat. --The point is to get as many same-sex couples as possible to check the "married" boxes on their census forms as part of a campaign called Queer the Census. (ABC News / Newser)(--You can watch George and Brad's PSA here . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGuc0q9_QWg
TWO WOMEN WERE ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO SNEAK THEIR DEAD RELATIVE ONTO A PLANE:
Remember the dumb '80s comedy "Weekend at Bernie's", where the two guys pretend their dead boss is still alive? It's such a ridiculous movie because the premise is so unbelievable. But that's what made it funny. Sort of. --Anyway, on Saturday, 66-year-old Gitta Jarant and her daughter, 41-year-old Anke Anusic, were arrested at the airport in Liverpool, England. --Apparently they were trying to sneak a relative of theirs onto a plane headed to Berlin. His name was 91-year-old Curt Jarant. And he was DEAD. --According to authorities, the two women placed Curt in a wheelchair and put sunglasses on his face. But the disguise didn't work, because a security guard noticed Curt wasn't moving, and became suspicious. --Officials say Gitta and Anke are both German, and they were trying to avoid the costs of transporting a dead body. But they swear they thought Curt was just asleep. --Anke says, quote, "They would think that for 24 hours we would carry a dead person? This is ridiculous. He was moving, he was breathing . . . He was alive. He was pale but he wasn't dead. --"A dead person you cannot carry to Germany, there are too many people checking and security. How can you bring a dead person to Germany?" (--Obviously, not like this, Anke.) --Gitta and Anke were both arrested and charged with suspicion of failing to give notification of death. They've been released on bail, and are expected back in court on June 1st. (BBC News / Guardian)
A WOMAN CALLED 911 BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HER DAUGHTER HAD BEEN SHOT . . . BUT IT WAS JUST AN APRIL FOOLS' JOKE:
Meet 32-year-old Tiffany Moreland of Lorain, Ohio (--25 miles west of Cleveland). --Last week, Tiffany decided to pull an April Fools' joke on her mom, and asked her 12-year-old nephew if he wanted to help prank his grandma. So the kid called his grandmother at work, and told her that his mother had been shot. Hilarious, right? --Understandably, the grandmother started freaking out. But before the kid could tell her it was just an April Fools' joke, she hung up and called 911. --A few minutes later, a bunch of cops showed up at the family home. And when they realized it was just a joke, they arrested Tiffany and charged her with false alarm. --According to a police spokesman, quote, "Practical jokes have gone bad before, and people have gotten in trouble. But this is the first time I've dealt with something like this. The grandma didn't think it was funny, either. She was quite upset." --For the record, Tiffany says she's done with April Fools' jokes from now on. (Morning Journal / WEWS News 5 - Cleveland)
THE MOST HATED COMPANY IN AMERICA IS . . . FREDDIE MAC:
Every year, Harris Interactive releases something called the corporate reputation survey. The idea is to find out how Americans view some of the world's largest companies. --In this year's survey, Google, Johnson & Johnson, General Mills and Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway are all viewed as having some of the BEST reputations. But that's not nearly as interesting as the companies Americans HATE.
--Here are the ten most hated companies in America:#1.) Freddie Mac#2.) American International Group . . . a.k.a. AIG#3.) Fannie Mae#4.) Citigroup#5.) Goldman Sachs#6.) Chrysler#7.) General Motors#8.) JP Morgan Chase#9.) Bank of America#10.) Delta Airlines--Delta's the only company on the list that didn't receive federal bailout money. All the others accepted between $10 BILLION and $75 BILLION each. And according to its new score, Freddie Mac is the most hated company since Enron in 2005. (Huffington Post / Adweek)
DEEPAK CHOPRA SAYS HE CAUSED THE EARTHQUAKE IN BAJA BY MEDITATING TOO HARD:
You might be under the impression that EARTHQUAKES are caused by plate shifts deep beneath the surface of the earth. But you'd be wrong . . . they're caused by DEEPAK CHOPRA. (???) At least that's what he says. --Just after Sunday's earthquake along the California-Mexico border, Chopra posted on Twitter that he, quote, "Had a powerful meditation just now -- caused an earthquake in Southern California." --A few minutes later, he posted another tweet reading, quote, "Was meditating on Shiva mantra & earth began to shake. Sorry about that." --Then he promised a follower on Twitter that he, quote, "Won't do it again -- promise." --And on Monday morning, Chopra posted a fourth tweet reading, quote, "Some people were upset at my remarks re earthquake. Sorry about that. I was actually meditating when it happened and thought 'Whoaaa!'" --Authorities say at least two people were killed in the quake, and hundreds more were injured. (AOL News)
A GUY DISLOCATED HIS JAW EATING A SUPERSIZED SANDWICH:
38-year-old Chad Ettmueller lives in Cumming, Georgia (--about 50 miles northeast of Atlanta). --Recently, he took his family to a restaurant called Which 'Wich, and ordered his favorite sandwich . . . a five-meat three-cheese behemoth called the "Wicked." --Then, since Chad hadn't eaten all day, he doubled the meat and cheese. It was a massive sandwich. So big, in fact, that when Chad opened his mouth to take a bite, he DISLOCATED HIS JAW. --Now, ordinarily this is the part in the story where Chad files a lawsuit against Which 'Wich for injuring him. But that's not what happened. As Chad put it, quote, "It wasn't the sandwich's fault, it was my genetics." --Officials for Which 'Wich say they're now considering three new names for the sandwich . . . the "Lockjaw," the "Double Dislocator" and the "Jaw Wrecker." --According to a statement from Which 'Wich, quote, "In our six years of operating Which Wich we have never heard anything quite like this. We are happy to report that Chad is in good spirits and his jaw is healing. --In the meantime, we are just supplying him with as many milkshakes as he wants." (AOL News)
HERE ARE SIX THINGS WAITERS WON'T TELL YOU:
"Reader's Digest" asked two-dozen waiters and waitresses from around the country to tell them things they normally wouldn't reveal to customers. Here are the top six . . .
#1.) AFTER 8 P.M., IT'S ALL DECAF. Apparently, people who work nights at restaurants are really lazy. According to one waitress, most restaurants only brew decaf coffee after eight o'clock because no one wants to clean two coffee pots. --So, even if you order a regular coffee, you'll get decaf because they know you can't tell the difference.
#2.) SOMETIMES THE "DAILY SPECIAL" IS JUST A BUNCH OF OLD FOOD. You've probably heard this before, but 'specials' are often just a way to get rid of food that's about to go bad. So avoid the soup of the day, especially if it has seafood in it.
#3.) YOU SHOULD NEVER ORDER A LEMON IN YOUR DRINK. According to a waitress from Kansas City, nobody washes them, and everybody touches them. They just cut them up and throw them in your drink.
#4.) THE EGGS AT A BREAKFAST BUFFET ARE ALMOST ALWAYS MADE FROM POWDER. They just mix it with water to make liquid eggs that they can scramble. Making real eggs is more expensive, and it takes A LOT longer.
#5.) THEY PUT EXTRA SUGAR IN THE KIDS' FOOD. A waitress at a, quote, "well-known pizza chain" says they put more sugar in the dough for kids' pizzas because they know kids will eat more if they do.
#6.) WEALTHY PEOPLE DON'T TIP THAT WELL. Middle-class people leave the best tips. And guys tend to throw down between 20 and 25 percent if they're out on a date. (Reader's Digest)
NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A DRUGGED UP GIRL TALKED ABOUT UNICORNS AND RAPPED ABOUT JESUS AFTER HAVING HER WISDOM TEETH REMOVED:
A teenage girl woke up from having her wisdom teeth removed and said, "I feel like a unicorn just took me on a ride to a magical palace." Then she started rapping about Jesus. It seems like she's TRYING to act weird, but it's still amusing. (--Search for "girl trips after wisdom teeth removal." She starts rapping at 1:00. Here's the video, and the famous "David After Dentist" video.)http://www.break.com/index/girl-trips-after-wisdom-teeth-removal.htmlhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txqiwrbYGrs
#2.) A KID BOUGHT AN iPAD, THEN IMMEDIATELY SMASHED IT WITH A BAT:
Some kid bought an iPad, then he and his friends tossed it on the sidewalk and destroyed it with a baseball bat. (--Search for "brand new iPad smashed baseball bat." They start smashing it at :27.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGUppxoJUVg
#3.) A COLLEGE MATH PROFESSOR MADE IT LOOK LIKE HE WAS ARGUING WITH HIS SHADOW DURING A LECTURE:
A dorky math professor was projecting his desktop on a screen during a lecture, and made it look like his shadow could move around by itself. Then he pretended to argue with it. Then another shadow arrived, and dismissed the students for Spring Break. (--Search for "math teacher shadow trick during lecture." The second shadow arrives at 1:38.) http://www.break.com/index/math-teacher-shadow-trick-during-lecture.html
FOUR THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT SOFT DRINKS:
The Congressional Budget office predicts that a three-cent tax on soda will generate $24 billion over the next four years. Here are four other things about soft drinks you might not know. . .
#1.) THE AVERAGE AMERICAN DRINKS 57 GALLONS OF SODA A YEAR. That's over 600 cans. And 21% of the sugar in an average American's diet comes from soft drinks. Ireland is in second place. The average person there drinks 355 cans a year.
#2.) "COKE" IS THE SECOND MOST RECOGNIZED WORD IN THE WORLD.Worldwide, over 10,000 Coca-Cola products are consumed every SECOND. That's about one billion every day. --And 94% of people in the world recognize the Coca-Cola logo. The only word more recognized around the world than "Coke" is "Okay."
#3.) DIFFERENT SODAS HAVE DIFFERENT AMOUNTS OF CAFFEINE. Regular Pepsi has 38 milligrams of caffeine, and DIET Pepsi has slightly less, with 35 milligrams. Coke has 34 milligrams, but for some reason, DIET Coke has 45.6. -Dr. Pepper and Diet Dr. Pepper both have 41 milligrams of caffeine. Mountain Dew has the most, with 55 milligrams. Sprite, 7-Up, and root beer have none.
#4.) DRINKING SODA MAKES YOU SICK. In February, researchers announced that drinking just two cans of soda per week increases your risk of developing pancreatic cancer by 87%. --Drinking two soft drinks a DAY makes you 85% more likely to develop gout, which is like really bad arthritis. And drinking ONE soda per day makes a child 60% more likely to be obese when he grows up. (OnlineSchools.org)
JON GOSSELIN IS PLANNING ON GOING AFTER KATE . . . FOR BEING AN "ABSENTEE PARENT" WHILE ON "DANCING WITH THE STARS":
JON GOSSELIN has essentially fallen off the face of the Earth recently . . . while KATE GOSSELIN landed a gig on "Dancing with the Stars", and has her own reality show in the pipeline at TLC. --And since these people are completely FULL OF THEMSELVES . . . it wouldn't be surprising to hear that Jon is jealous of Kate, and is thinking of taking some sort of action against her. And yes, that's exactly what's happening. --Jon's lawyer, Anthony F. List, says he'll file legal papers against Kate this week . . . accusing her of being a, quote, "absentee parent" during her time on "Dancing". --Because of that, Jon is seeking primary physical custody of their eight children . . . and wants to change the terms of their child support arrangement. --List says, quote, "He wants equal say with custody, equal time, but if the circumstances remain as they are, with Kate being rarely home, Jon wants primary custody of the children. He is much better able to spend time with the children. --"Kate Gosselin can't have it both ways unless there is some balance, unless there are some opportunities for these eight children to be in her physical presence. The eight children are the innocent victims. This tears Jon up." --Kate's lawyer has already responded . . . saying that Kate is a, quote, "devoted mother," and this lawsuit would be, quote, "reckless [and] offensive." --Meanwhile, some people claim that Jon may have picked NOW to call Kate out because he wants to sabotage any promotion she does for her new book, "I Just Want You to Know: Letters to My Kids on Love, Faith, and Family" . . . which comes out next Tuesday.
MAURA TIERNEY IS RETURNING TO TV:
Last year, MAURA TIERNEY was forced to give up a role on the new NBC show, "Parenthood", after she was diagnosed with breast cancer. (--Her part went to LAUREN GRAHAM.) -Well, Maura is ready to return to TV. Her rep says, quote, "She has finished treatment and is doing very well and is happy to move forward with the next phase of her life." --That "next phase" will begin with Maura jumping back into her recurring role as Kelly on "Rescue Me". According to "TV Guide", she's already filming scenes . . . but she won't appear on the show again until NEXT year, when Season Seven airs. (--Season Six will premiere later THIS year.)
GABOUREY SIDIBE'S MOM WILL BE ON "AMERICA'S GOT TALENT":
Alice Tan Ridley . . . the mother of "Precious" star and Academy Award nominee GABOUREY SIDIBE . . . will compete on the next season of "America's Got Talent", according to RadarOnline.com. --Alice, if you haven't heard, has been earning money singing in the New York City subway system . . . for the past 18 years. (--Her turf is the Times Square station, Penn Station and 14th Street / Union Square.) --She says, quote, "It's a big break for me and I would like to follow in SUSAN BOYLE'S footsteps and become a star in my own right." (--Here again is video of Alice singing in the subway . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gIfxjAK7qs
AND NOW . . . ADAM LAMBERT WILL BE A MENTOR ON "IDOL":
If you thought "American Idol" was jumping the shark by having 17-year-old MILEY CYRUS serve as a celebrity mentor for the contestants, check this out: --Next week's mentor will be: ADAM LAMBERT, who just finished second on "Idol" LAST SEASON. (--Maybe next week they could bring back DIDI BENAMI, who was eliminated last week.) --There's no word on what next week's theme will be. So technically, QUEEN Week, or Songs Off Adam Lambert's Debut Album Week are still possibilities. --On next Wednesday's show, Adam will perform "Whataya Want from Me". --By the way, here's some random trivia: Last week, a "Dancing with the Stars" episode beat both of that week's episodes of "Idol" for the first time EVER. --It didn't happen head-to-head though. Monday's episode of "Dancing" attracted 23 million viewers . . . while Tuesday's "Idol" had 21.9 million viewers and Wednesday's "Idol" had 20.5 million.
NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF
HERE ARE A BUNCH OF STATS FROM THE 2010 "MAXIM" SEX SURVEY:
Now it's time to review some highlights of the 2010 "Maxim" magazine sex survey:
--47% of women admit to "sexting," and 70% admit they've hacked into their man's email account to make sure he wasn't cheating.--70% of women say they've slept with ten or fewer guys.--17% of women have had sex with a guy whose name they didn't know. And 26% slept with a guy they knew for less than five hours.--ONE in FOUR women say they love . . . not just like, LOVE . . . giving oral favors. --11% of women have slept with their boss at some point, and 6% have slept with a subordinate at work.--17% have done it with a guy they knew was married.--If they had the chance, and it was guaranteed their guy would never find out, 38% of women say they'd have sex with their, quote, "fantasy crush."--ONE in THREE women have no problem going all the way on a first date with a guy they really like.--31% of women have had sex with TWO or more men in one day. And 1.5% have done the nasty with more than THREE guys in a day. When you up the timeframe to a week, 17% have done it with three or more guys.--More than TWO-THIRDS of women have never had a threesome. As for the rest of them . . . 17% did it with two girls and one guy, 11% did it with two guys and one girl, and 3% did it with THREE GIRLS. (!!!)--ONE in THREE women think the "average guy" should have sex with six to ten women before settling down. 2% think he should be a virgin when he gets married. 1% thinks he should have sex with 40 or more women before getting married. --Overall, 7% of women say a guy's muscle tone and fitness isn't important to them at all. And 5% say the size of a guy's DONG doesn't matter at all. (Maxim)
YOU CAN CHECK "MARRIED" ON THE CENSUS FORM IF YOU'RE GAY . . . AND OTHER STUFF YOU MIGHT NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS YEAR'S CENSUS:
Last month, the U.S. Census Bureau sent out the 2010 census forms. Here are a few things you might not know about it:
#1.) About HALF of all Americans have already sent in their census forms, even though they aren't technically due until the end of the month. --If you don't send in the form by then, you can probably expect someone from the Census Bureau to come knocking at your door.
#2.) Officials say it costs $57 to send a census taker to just ONE house. And for every 1% of the population that returns the form on their own, the government saves $85 MILLION.
#3.) If you decide you're NEVER going to send in your census form, the Frequently Asked Questions section of the Census Bureau's website points out that you can be fined up to $5,000. But it's something that's only viewed as a, quote, "last resort."
#4.) And if they consider themselves married, for the first time ever, same-sex couples are being told to check the "husband" or "wife" boxes instead of the one marked "unmarried partner" . . . even if they aren't LEGALLY married. --A lot of people are upset about the change because they think it legitimizes gay marriage. But according to a Census Bureau official, quote, "We're treating the gay community the same as other segments of the population. --"There's a respect factor there. We've never asked people to show us their marriage licenses. We don't do that for straight people." --Whatever your opinion on THAT line of reasoning, surely you can still appreciate the delicious gayness of GEORGE TAKEI, and his PSA in support of the move. --Takei and his husband, Brad Altman, shot a public service announcement for a group called the Equal Roots Coalition. In the video, George is rocking his old Starfleet uniform, and Brad's wearing a phallic-shaped tin foil hat. --The point is to get as many same-sex couples as possible to check the "married" boxes on their census forms as part of a campaign called Queer the Census. (ABC News / Newser)(--You can watch George and Brad's PSA here . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yGuc0q9_QWg
TWO WOMEN WERE ARRESTED FOR TRYING TO SNEAK THEIR DEAD RELATIVE ONTO A PLANE:
Remember the dumb '80s comedy "Weekend at Bernie's", where the two guys pretend their dead boss is still alive? It's such a ridiculous movie because the premise is so unbelievable. But that's what made it funny. Sort of. --Anyway, on Saturday, 66-year-old Gitta Jarant and her daughter, 41-year-old Anke Anusic, were arrested at the airport in Liverpool, England. --Apparently they were trying to sneak a relative of theirs onto a plane headed to Berlin. His name was 91-year-old Curt Jarant. And he was DEAD. --According to authorities, the two women placed Curt in a wheelchair and put sunglasses on his face. But the disguise didn't work, because a security guard noticed Curt wasn't moving, and became suspicious. --Officials say Gitta and Anke are both German, and they were trying to avoid the costs of transporting a dead body. But they swear they thought Curt was just asleep. --Anke says, quote, "They would think that for 24 hours we would carry a dead person? This is ridiculous. He was moving, he was breathing . . . He was alive. He was pale but he wasn't dead. --"A dead person you cannot carry to Germany, there are too many people checking and security. How can you bring a dead person to Germany?" (--Obviously, not like this, Anke.) --Gitta and Anke were both arrested and charged with suspicion of failing to give notification of death. They've been released on bail, and are expected back in court on June 1st. (BBC News / Guardian)
A WOMAN CALLED 911 BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT HER DAUGHTER HAD BEEN SHOT . . . BUT IT WAS JUST AN APRIL FOOLS' JOKE:
Meet 32-year-old Tiffany Moreland of Lorain, Ohio (--25 miles west of Cleveland). --Last week, Tiffany decided to pull an April Fools' joke on her mom, and asked her 12-year-old nephew if he wanted to help prank his grandma. So the kid called his grandmother at work, and told her that his mother had been shot. Hilarious, right? --Understandably, the grandmother started freaking out. But before the kid could tell her it was just an April Fools' joke, she hung up and called 911. --A few minutes later, a bunch of cops showed up at the family home. And when they realized it was just a joke, they arrested Tiffany and charged her with false alarm. --According to a police spokesman, quote, "Practical jokes have gone bad before, and people have gotten in trouble. But this is the first time I've dealt with something like this. The grandma didn't think it was funny, either. She was quite upset." --For the record, Tiffany says she's done with April Fools' jokes from now on. (Morning Journal / WEWS News 5 - Cleveland)
THE MOST HATED COMPANY IN AMERICA IS . . . FREDDIE MAC:
Every year, Harris Interactive releases something called the corporate reputation survey. The idea is to find out how Americans view some of the world's largest companies. --In this year's survey, Google, Johnson & Johnson, General Mills and Warren Buffett's Berkshire Hathaway are all viewed as having some of the BEST reputations. But that's not nearly as interesting as the companies Americans HATE.
--Here are the ten most hated companies in America:#1.) Freddie Mac#2.) American International Group . . . a.k.a. AIG#3.) Fannie Mae#4.) Citigroup#5.) Goldman Sachs#6.) Chrysler#7.) General Motors#8.) JP Morgan Chase#9.) Bank of America#10.) Delta Airlines--Delta's the only company on the list that didn't receive federal bailout money. All the others accepted between $10 BILLION and $75 BILLION each. And according to its new score, Freddie Mac is the most hated company since Enron in 2005. (Huffington Post / Adweek)
DEEPAK CHOPRA SAYS HE CAUSED THE EARTHQUAKE IN BAJA BY MEDITATING TOO HARD:
You might be under the impression that EARTHQUAKES are caused by plate shifts deep beneath the surface of the earth. But you'd be wrong . . . they're caused by DEEPAK CHOPRA. (???) At least that's what he says. --Just after Sunday's earthquake along the California-Mexico border, Chopra posted on Twitter that he, quote, "Had a powerful meditation just now -- caused an earthquake in Southern California." --A few minutes later, he posted another tweet reading, quote, "Was meditating on Shiva mantra & earth began to shake. Sorry about that." --Then he promised a follower on Twitter that he, quote, "Won't do it again -- promise." --And on Monday morning, Chopra posted a fourth tweet reading, quote, "Some people were upset at my remarks re earthquake. Sorry about that. I was actually meditating when it happened and thought 'Whoaaa!'" --Authorities say at least two people were killed in the quake, and hundreds more were injured. (AOL News)
A GUY DISLOCATED HIS JAW EATING A SUPERSIZED SANDWICH:
38-year-old Chad Ettmueller lives in Cumming, Georgia (--about 50 miles northeast of Atlanta). --Recently, he took his family to a restaurant called Which 'Wich, and ordered his favorite sandwich . . . a five-meat three-cheese behemoth called the "Wicked." --Then, since Chad hadn't eaten all day, he doubled the meat and cheese. It was a massive sandwich. So big, in fact, that when Chad opened his mouth to take a bite, he DISLOCATED HIS JAW. --Now, ordinarily this is the part in the story where Chad files a lawsuit against Which 'Wich for injuring him. But that's not what happened. As Chad put it, quote, "It wasn't the sandwich's fault, it was my genetics." --Officials for Which 'Wich say they're now considering three new names for the sandwich . . . the "Lockjaw," the "Double Dislocator" and the "Jaw Wrecker." --According to a statement from Which 'Wich, quote, "In our six years of operating Which Wich we have never heard anything quite like this. We are happy to report that Chad is in good spirits and his jaw is healing. --In the meantime, we are just supplying him with as many milkshakes as he wants." (AOL News)
HERE ARE SIX THINGS WAITERS WON'T TELL YOU:
"Reader's Digest" asked two-dozen waiters and waitresses from around the country to tell them things they normally wouldn't reveal to customers. Here are the top six . . .
#1.) AFTER 8 P.M., IT'S ALL DECAF. Apparently, people who work nights at restaurants are really lazy. According to one waitress, most restaurants only brew decaf coffee after eight o'clock because no one wants to clean two coffee pots. --So, even if you order a regular coffee, you'll get decaf because they know you can't tell the difference.
#2.) SOMETIMES THE "DAILY SPECIAL" IS JUST A BUNCH OF OLD FOOD. You've probably heard this before, but 'specials' are often just a way to get rid of food that's about to go bad. So avoid the soup of the day, especially if it has seafood in it.
#3.) YOU SHOULD NEVER ORDER A LEMON IN YOUR DRINK. According to a waitress from Kansas City, nobody washes them, and everybody touches them. They just cut them up and throw them in your drink.
#4.) THE EGGS AT A BREAKFAST BUFFET ARE ALMOST ALWAYS MADE FROM POWDER. They just mix it with water to make liquid eggs that they can scramble. Making real eggs is more expensive, and it takes A LOT longer.
#5.) THEY PUT EXTRA SUGAR IN THE KIDS' FOOD. A waitress at a, quote, "well-known pizza chain" says they put more sugar in the dough for kids' pizzas because they know kids will eat more if they do.
#6.) WEALTHY PEOPLE DON'T TIP THAT WELL. Middle-class people leave the best tips. And guys tend to throw down between 20 and 25 percent if they're out on a date. (Reader's Digest)
NAZZY'S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) A DRUGGED UP GIRL TALKED ABOUT UNICORNS AND RAPPED ABOUT JESUS AFTER HAVING HER WISDOM TEETH REMOVED:
A teenage girl woke up from having her wisdom teeth removed and said, "I feel like a unicorn just took me on a ride to a magical palace." Then she started rapping about Jesus. It seems like she's TRYING to act weird, but it's still amusing. (--Search for "girl trips after wisdom teeth removal." She starts rapping at 1:00. Here's the video, and the famous "David After Dentist" video.)http://www.break.com/index/girl-trips-after-wisdom-teeth-removal.htmlhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txqiwrbYGrs
#2.) A KID BOUGHT AN iPAD, THEN IMMEDIATELY SMASHED IT WITH A BAT:
Some kid bought an iPad, then he and his friends tossed it on the sidewalk and destroyed it with a baseball bat. (--Search for "brand new iPad smashed baseball bat." They start smashing it at :27.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGUppxoJUVg
#3.) A COLLEGE MATH PROFESSOR MADE IT LOOK LIKE HE WAS ARGUING WITH HIS SHADOW DURING A LECTURE:
A dorky math professor was projecting his desktop on a screen during a lecture, and made it look like his shadow could move around by itself. Then he pretended to argue with it. Then another shadow arrived, and dismissed the students for Spring Break. (--Search for "math teacher shadow trick during lecture." The second shadow arrives at 1:38.) http://www.break.com/index/math-teacher-shadow-trick-during-lecture.html
FOUR THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT SOFT DRINKS:
The Congressional Budget office predicts that a three-cent tax on soda will generate $24 billion over the next four years. Here are four other things about soft drinks you might not know. . .
#1.) THE AVERAGE AMERICAN DRINKS 57 GALLONS OF SODA A YEAR. That's over 600 cans. And 21% of the sugar in an average American's diet comes from soft drinks. Ireland is in second place. The average person there drinks 355 cans a year.
#2.) "COKE" IS THE SECOND MOST RECOGNIZED WORD IN THE WORLD.Worldwide, over 10,000 Coca-Cola products are consumed every SECOND. That's about one billion every day. --And 94% of people in the world recognize the Coca-Cola logo. The only word more recognized around the world than "Coke" is "Okay."
#3.) DIFFERENT SODAS HAVE DIFFERENT AMOUNTS OF CAFFEINE. Regular Pepsi has 38 milligrams of caffeine, and DIET Pepsi has slightly less, with 35 milligrams. Coke has 34 milligrams, but for some reason, DIET Coke has 45.6. -Dr. Pepper and Diet Dr. Pepper both have 41 milligrams of caffeine. Mountain Dew has the most, with 55 milligrams. Sprite, 7-Up, and root beer have none.
#4.) DRINKING SODA MAKES YOU SICK. In February, researchers announced that drinking just two cans of soda per week increases your risk of developing pancreatic cancer by 87%. --Drinking two soft drinks a DAY makes you 85% more likely to develop gout, which is like really bad arthritis. And drinking ONE soda per day makes a child 60% more likely to be obese when he grows up. (OnlineSchools.org)
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