Monday, November 22, 2010



Justin Bieber Won Four "American Music Awards":

JUSTIN BIEBER went four-for-four at the "American Music Awards" last night, winning everything he was nominated for: Favorite Pop / Rock Album, Favorite Pop / Rock Male Artist, Breakthrough Artist and the big one, Artist of the Year. --At 16, he became the youngest artist to win that one. --Justin's mentor, USHER, won two awards . . . as did EMINEM.


--Artist of the Year: Justin Bieber
--Breakthrough Artist: Justin Bieber

--Favorite Male Artist: Justin Bieber
--Favorite Female Artist: Lady Gaga
--Favorite Band, Duo or Group: Black Eyed Peas . . . (--They won this one last year, too.)
--Favorite Album: "My World 2.0", Justin Bieber


--Favorite Male Artist: Usher
--Favorite Female Artist: Rihanna
--Favorite Album: "Raymond v. Raymond", Usher


--Favorite Male Artist: Eminem
--Favorite Album: "Recovery", Eminem


--Favorite Male Artist: Brad Paisley
--Favorite Female Artist: Taylor Swift . . . (--This is Taylor's second year in a row winning this one.)
--Favorite Band, Duo or Group: Lady Antebellum
--Favorite Album: "Play On", Carrie Underwood


--Favorite Artist - (Adult/Contemporary): michael buble
--Favorite Artist - (Alternative Rock): muse
--Favorite Artist - (Contemporary Inspirational): MercyMe
--Favorite Artist - (Latin Music): Shakira
--Favorite Album - (Soundtracks): "Glee: The Music, Volume 3 - Showstoppers"

Check Out Eva Longoria and Tony Parker Doing "Summer Nights" From "Grease" . . . with Help From Erin Barry:

Last December, EVA LONGORIA and TEXTIN' TONY PARKER did a MUSIC VIDEO. It was a remake of the "Summer Nights" scene from "Grease", and they dressed up like the characters and lip-synced to the original song --Eva played Sandy . . . or, the OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN role . . . and Tony was Danny . . . a.k.a. JOHN TRAVOLTA. --It was part of some kind of promotional campaign for the San Antonio Spurs. --Well, the video has been kicking around on YouTube for about a year . . . but it has some special significance now, because Eva asked her "good friend" ERIN BARRY to play the bad girl Rizzo in the clip. --Erin is the woman whose TEXTUAL relationship with Tony ended his and Eva's marriage. Erin's husband, BRENT BARRY, was a teammate of Tony's on the Spurs . . . but he had left a year before the video was made. --If you know your "Grease", then you know that Rizzo CAN'T STAND Sandy. And during this particular song, as Sandy is bragging about how wonderful Danny is, Rizzo says, quote, "He sounds like a drag." --Then, in what nobody saw as foreshadowing at the time, Rizzo even kicks Sandy off a bench.
(--Here's the video . . .)

Tony Parker Has Filed For Divorce . . . Citing the Same Grounds That Brent Barry Used:

EVA LONGORIA filed for divorce from TONY PARKER this past Wednesday. Two days later . . . on Friday . . . Tony filed his own divorce papers. --And check this out: The reason he cited for the divorce is the exact same one that his former teammate, BRENT BARRY, used when he filed for divorce from his wife ERIN. --It's this: "The marriage [has become] insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities between Petitioner and Respondent that destroys the legitimate ends of the marriage relationships and prevents any reasonable expectation of reconciliation." --Tony just signed a four-year, $50 million deal with the Spurs last month. Eva's divorce papers say there's a prenup, but we have no idea what the terms are. --Meanwhile, a so-called "source" says that deal might have saved Tony's career with the Spurs . . . because the organization is NOT happy about what he did . . . quote, "The core guys are super pissed about it all. --"The Spurs staff is very upset and [Spurs head coach Greg Popovich] would trade him if he didn't just sign that big deal."

Does Justin Bieber Have a "Flirt Coach"?

JUSTIN BIEBER shows serious game when he flirts. (--His interviews with CHELSEA HANDLER come to mind.) But it turns out it might not be a natural talent. --"Life & Style" magazine claims that Justin has a FLIRT COACH. Technically, he's an advisor. But one of his duties is to help Justin hone his skills with the opposite sex. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "He shows Justin how to walk, how to talk, how to flirt, even how to wear his hat to attract as many girls as possible." --On a related note, Justin didn't need any coaching to attract RIHANNA recently. All he had to do was FLASH HIS ABS. --After having dinner with Justin and some record industry people in Manhattan last week, Rihanna Tweeted, quote, "Justin Bieber just flashed me his abs in the middle of the restaurant! Wow! He actually had a lil 6 pack! Sexy, lol!"

Wesley Snipes Has Turned Himself In to Do His Time for Tax Evasion:

On Friday, a federal judge ordered WESLEY SNIPES to turn himself in IMMEDIATELY, and start doing his time for tax evasion. --From what we understand, Snipes DID turn himself in later that day, and authorities were in the process of transferring him to whatever federal prison they're going to stick him in. --Snipes was convicted TWO YEARS AGO, and sentenced to three years in prison. But they allowed him to remain free while he appealed the conviction. But that ride is officially over. --The judge issued a 17-page ruling DENYING Wesley's latest bid for a new trial, and saying, quote, "The defendant Snipes had a fair trial. --"He has had a full, fair and thorough review of his conviction and sentence by the Court of Appeal; and he has had a full, fair and thorough review of his present claims, during all of which he has remained at liberty. --"The time has come for the judgment to be enforced." (--Snipes is 48 years old. It's not clear if he can still appeal from the inside, or if he has to just give it up and do his time.)

Check out Paris Hilton Working Off Her Community Service Debt By Cleaning Graffiti:

As part of her community service for her cocaine possession arrest in Vegas over the summer, PARIS HILTON joined a volunteer group called the Hollywood Beautification Team. --And she and some other team members were out on Friday, painting over graffiti. The paparazzi were there, of course. (--Check out some video . . .)

Lindsay Lohan is Out of the Linda Lovelace Movie . . . But Did She Quit or Get Fired?

LINDSAY LOHAN is no longer going to play legendary mattress actress LINDA LOVELACE in that movie "Inferno". --But there seems to be some debate over whether she quit or was fired. --Director MATTHEW WILDER said, quote, "We are withdrawing our offer from Lindsay Lohan. We are currently in negotiations [with another actress] and working out the legalities of bringing her onboard." --So why are they finally giving up on her? Wilder said, quote, "We have stuck by Lindsay very patiently for a long time with a lot of love and support. --"Ultimately, the impossibility of insuring her . . . and some other issues . . . have made it impossible for us to go forward." --But Lindsay's rep is making it sound more like the decision was mutual . . . if not totally Lindsay's idea . . . quote, "Lindsay is dedicated to her recovery and together they decided to move forward without her. --A so-called "source" adds, quote, "She wanted them to tone down a lot of the racy scenes. It wasn't going to be good for her to play someone with substance issues when she is going through her own recovery." --Lindsay is in a sober living facility affiliated with the Betty Ford Center . . . and the judge has ordered her to stay there until January 3rd. --Wilder didn't identify Lindsay's potential replacement, but the World Wide Web of Movie Gossip says it's MALIN ACKERMAN. --She played Silk Spectre in "Watchmen" . . . Ben Stiller's psycho wife in "The Heartbreak Kid" and Vince Vaughn's wife in "Couples Retreat".

Is Lindsay Lohan Spending Thanksgiving with Her Dad?

LINDSAY LOHAN wanted permission to travel home to Long Island for Thanksgiving . . . but Betty Ford shot her down. So her psycho dad, MICHAEL LOHAN, is reportedly going to spend Turkey Day with her.--The word is that Michael wants Dina and the other kids to join him . . . and he wants Dina to do some family therapy with him. But she's not interested in any of it.

Miley Cyrus Decided Not to Sing "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" At Last Night's "American Music Awards" . . . For Obvious Reasons:

TMZ claims that MILEY CYRUS was originally planning on singing her version of the POISON classic "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" at last night's "American Music Awards". But she changed her mind for one very obvious reason. --That reason would be that BRET MICHAELS allegedly broke up her parents' marriage by nailing her mom. --That's why she ended up doing "Love and Forgiveness" instead.

An Actor Who Plays One of the Werewolves in the "Twilight" Movies Got Attacked in a Hotel Men's Room:

"Twilight" actor BRONSON PELLETIER was attacked by four drunken men in the men's room of a Hilton hotel in Birmingham, England the other day. --Bronson was there attending a "Twilight" fan convention. The attackers were guests at a wedding that was going on at the same hotel. They punched and headbutted Bronson and broke his nose. --All four men were arrested. Two were released without being charged, and two were let out on bail. (--Bronson plays a werewolf named Jared in the "Twilight" movies. He's kind of a minor character, but he's in all of them but the first one.)

Former First Lady Barbara Bush Hopes Sarah Palin Stays in Alaska:

News Flash: Not all Republicans see SARAH PALIN as the be all and the end all. --Former First Lady BARBARA BUSH . . . one of the true elder minxes of the party . . . is apparently not a fan. --In an interview airing on "Larry King Live" tonight, Barbara talks about how she once sat next to Palin at an event. --She says, quote, "I thought she was beautiful. And she's very happy in Alaska. I hope she'll stay there."

"Harry Potter" Had the Sixth Biggest Opening Weekend of All Time:

Part One of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" had a huge opening day, one of the best opening weekends of all time, AND the best weekend of any other movie in the "Harry Potter" series. --It earned a total of $125 million and got nearly half of that on its first day. It pulled in $61.2 million on Friday alone, which was enough to make it the fifth biggest opening of all time. .

Here are a few related lists to supplement your "Harry Potter" discussions this morning:

The Top 5 Opening Weekends of All Time:

1.) "The Dark Knight", $158 million
2.) "Spider-Man 3", $151 million
3.) "Twilight: New Moon", $143 million
4.) "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest", $136 million
5.) "Iron Man 2", $128 million

(--"The Deathly Hallows Part 1" is #6 on the list, with $125 million.)

The Top 5 Opening Days of All Time:

1.) "Twilight: New Moon", $72.7 million
2.) "Twilight: Eclipse", $68.5 million
3.) "The Dark Knight", $67.2 million
4.) "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen", $62 million
5.) "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1", $61.2 million

The Opening Weekends for Each of the "Harry Potter" Films:

1.) "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone", $90.3 million
2.) "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets", $88.4 million
3.) "Harry Potter and Prisoner of Azkaban", $93.7 million
4.) "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire", $102.7 million
5.) "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix", $77.1 million
6.) "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince", $77.8 million
7.) "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1", $125 million

Check Out MTV's List of the 10 Best "Harry Potter" Moments So Far:

MTV has come up with a list of the 10 Best Moments So Far in the "Harry Potter" Movies. --The list was released on Friday, and does NOT include the movie that opened this weekend, "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1". --They gave the #1 spot to Professor Snape killing Dumbledore in "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince". (--Check out the complete list here . . .)

Daniel Day-Lewis Will Play Abraham Lincoln in Steven Spielberg's Upcoming Movie:

STEVEN SPIELBERG has chosen DANIEL DAY-LEWIS to play ABRAHAM LINCOLN in his upcoming biopic. Shooting will begin next fall, and the movie is due out late in 2012. (--Daniel is BRITISH. Should it matter that he's playing one of the most beloved U.S. Presidents? Probably not. But I have a feeling it will to some people. Could be interesting.)

Did Someone Try to Scare Bristol Palin By Sending a White Powder to Her at "Dancing with the Stars"?

A lot of people are annoyed that BRISTOL PALIN is still on "Dancing with the Stars" . . . despite the fact that she's TERRIBLE. (--She made this week's Finals, even though she's had the lowest overall score in five of the past seven weeks.) (--Last week, the viewers eliminated BRANDY instead of Bristol . . . even though Brandy received a PERFECT SCORE for one of her dances.) --Well, someone may have taken their anger at a silly reality show to a ridiculous level. --The FBI is investigating a "suspicious" package that was sent to the show's production office on Friday. They were called in after someone discovered an envelope that contained a white powder. --It turned out to be TALCUM POWDER . . . but the FBI is still running tests on the envelope to try to determine who sent it. --So-called "sources" tell TMZ that the package was sent to Bristol, but there's no official confirmation on that. --An FBI spokeswoman said, quote, "Just as in any case, we don't confirm the identity of a victim based on privacy and security concerns." --Work on the show returned to normal yesterday. (--Obviously, if someone DID try to send Bristol that envelope . . . to scare her, I guess . . . that's pretty messed up. Let's all hope that idiot gets caught. And let's also hope Bristol doesn't win this season. That would be WEAK.)

"American Idol" Will Air on Wednesdays and Thursdays This Season:

Fox has announced yet another change for "American Idol" this season. For whatever reason, it'll be moved from Tuesday and Wednesday nights to Wednesday and Thursday nights. --Season 10 will premiere on Wednesday, January 19th. (--Fox may have moved "Idol" so that they could keep "Glee" in its Tuesday night timeslot. By the way, Fox will be moving "Fringe" to Friday nights.)

A British Tabloid Claims Teri Hatcher and Felicity Huffman Are Planning on Quitting "Desperate Housewives":

Britain's not-so-reliable "Daily Mail" tabloid claims TERI HATCHER and FELICITY HUFFMAN are planning on quitting "Desperate Housewives" after NEXT season . . . the show's eighth. --No real reason was given, other than that they kinda want to "move on." --Naturally, this sounds like BS, and is probably related to contract negotiations . . . assuming it's even rooted in fact in the first place. --The show has been cleared to air through a NINTH season, which would keep it on ABC through at least the spring of 2013. But apparently, Teri and Felicity don't have deals yet for that season. --But they have A YEAR AND A HALF to get all that sorted out . . . and they will. (--Something tells me that money will remind Teri and Felicity that they have their entire lives to "move on" . . . and that the smart choice is sticking with the "Desperate Housewives" cash cow while they can.)

Monday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"Monday Night Football" . . . 8:30 to 11:30 P.M. Eastern on ESPN. (--The San Diego Chargers host the Denver Broncos at Qualcomm Stadium in California.)

--"Dancing with the Stars" [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--The remaining three dancers are Bristol Palin, Jennifer Grey and Kyle Massey. They'll perform two dances . . . a freestyle and a "redemption" dance.)

--"How I Met Your Mother" . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on CBS. (--"Lost's" Jorge Garcia plays a college buddy of Ted, Marshall and Lily's known as "The Blitz", who always brings bad luck with him.)

--"House" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Wilson and Sam's relationship hits a turning point and a man becomes ill after recreating the Crucifixion. Sam is played by former "Lost" minx Cynthia Watros.)

--"Chuck" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Richard Chamberlain guest stars as an international superspy, nicknamed the Belgian.) (--Richard Chamberlain was huge in the '70s. For that generation he WAS "The Count of Monte Cristo", "The Man in the Iron Mask", and one of "The Three Musketeers". He also set many a lady's loins to tingling in both the "Shogun" and "Thorn Birds" mini-series.)

--"Antiques Roadshow" [14th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on PBS.
--"Skating with the Stars" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--The six "stars" competing are . . . Motley Crue's Vince Neil, "Ace Ventura" / "Blade Runner" star Sean Young, "All My Children's" Rebecca Budig . . . . . . Olympic skier Johnny Moseley, Bethenny Frankel from "Real Housewives of New York", and Brandon Mychal Smith, the slender black gentleman from Demi Lovato's Disney Channel series "Sonny With a Chance".)

--"Lie to Me" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Cal tries to help a woman with early-onset Alzheimers reconstruct a memory. She's played by Annette O'Toole.)

--"The Kennedy Detail" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery. (--An emotional documentary that reunites the Secret Service agents assigned to protect President Kennedy 47 years ago in Dallas on the day he was assassinated.)

--"Chelsea's Big Interview Special" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on E! (--Christina Aguilera ("Burlesque"), Gwyneth Paltrow ("Country Strong") and Anne Hathaway ("Love and Other Drugs") are interviewed by the lovely Chelsea Handler.)

--"Tiger Woods: The Rise and Fall" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bio. (--An in-depth look at the Tiger Woods scandal.)

--"The World of Jenks" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV.

--"Fabulous Cakes" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC. (--A cake of the Las Vegas strip and a 500-lb. recreation of Buzz Aldrin's moon landing.)

Beyoncé Wants to Create Her Own Genre . . . Which Will Utilize "Live Instruments": (???)

BEYONCÉ is hoping to create her OWN genre on her next album . . . one that will experiment with the utilization of "live instruments." --She tells "Entertainment Tonight", quote, "I love to dance, I love to sing, and I'm actually in the studio now writing songs and producing. --"I have a lot of live instruments that I'm putting into the tracks to try to change the sound and make my own genre of music."

DMX Is Back in Prison . . . This Time for Violating His Probation:

DMX was taken into custody last Thursday night in Arizona. There are all kinds of stories making the rounds, but basically he's behind bars for violating his probation. --He's being held without bail until Wednesday, when he'll be in court for a hearing. There, it'll be determined whether or not DMX's probation is revoked. Naturally, he'll be headed back to prison if it is. --Here's the quick rundown on the speculation that's out there. --Several sources say that DMX was picked up after he failed to check in with his probation officer . . . and that he was found to be in possession of COCAINE. --According to, he was also busted for: "Use of [the painkiller] Oxycontin without a prescription, failing to submit to drug testing, failing to participate in counseling programs, failure to make payments, and driving on a suspended license." --His manager says that the drug charges are BOGUS. --She said, quote, "Those are old charges they're talking about." But she does admit that he did fail to "follow the rules." --She added, quote, "He just didn't check in with his probation officer, and it's just a matter of him not following the rules. […] He's not perfect. This is a difficult time in his life. He's going through some things . . . (crap) happens." (???) --And DMX himself says all this is over ALCOHOL. He was three months away from finishing a mandatory 18-month rehab program . . . but admits that he slipped up, and drank alcohol at a recent concert. --He says, quote, "I shouldn't have done it. I wasn't done with the program. They let me out to do the show. It's rare that I get fair treatment . . . it's love or hate. I'm gonna get through this." (--You can find audio of these comments, here.) (--DMX had been a free man since August 12th. At the time, we asked for the "over-under" on days before DMX's next arrest. We set the bar at 50 days, which seemed fair. The previous time he only lasted 20 days.) (--But as it turns out, DMX went 97 days without being arrested this time, which has got to be a personal best. But don't quote me on that.)


CAPRI ANDERSON . . . the "escort" who wound up fearing for her life in the bathroom of CHARLIE SHEEN'S hotel room . . . appears on ABC's "Good Morning America" and "Nightline" today. She says Charlie Sheen, quote, "put his hands around my neck.",,20444057,00.html

A picture popped up online of a younger MICHAEL JACKSON swigging from a bottle of vodka while hanging out with two female "little people". We have no idea if it's legit, but it's funny.

PORTIA DE ROSSI is promoting her new book in Australia . . . and is reportedly refusing to speak with MALE interviewers.

ANGELINA from "Jersey Shore" has released the full version of her atrocious rap song, "I'm Hot".

MSNBC suspended "Morning Joe" host JOE SCARBOROUGH for making campaign contributions without getting permission first from the network. It's the same thing they did to KEITH OLBERMANN.

ROGER DALTREY from THE WHO says SIMON COWELL is destroying music . . . and that if Simon made the decisions back in the day, The Who, THE ROLLING STONES and THE BEATLES never would have had a chance.

JORGE GARCIA . . . who played Hurley on "Lost" . . . has joined the cast of the next J.J. ABRAMS series. And it's about an island, too. It's called "Alcatraz", and it's about the island prison Alcatraz, obviously. Some prisoners and guards who disappeared 30 years ago reappear in the present. Jorge plays an Alcatraz expert who tries to help solve the mystery.


The Average American Watches 143 Hours of TV Every Month:

We always hear people say, "Oh, I never watch TV anymore" or "I only watch things online now" . . . but, truth is, when we're not bragging and we're in the privacy of our own homes, we all still watch a MASSIVE amount of television. --Nielsen just released the results of a new study, where they found that the average American watches 143 HOURS of TV . . . every month. Let's calculate that out . . .

--That's 4.7 hours of TV watching per day.

--That's more than 25% of the average person's waking hours.

--That's 71.5 full days a year of TV, or almost one-fifth of the year.

--The people at Nielsen say that DVRs haven't made people watch less TV . . . they just change WHEN people watch. The 143 hours per month is steady from last year. --The study also found that teenagers watch less TV than they used to . . . so they may be the one age group that really IS making a full switch over to getting their entertainment online. (Hollywood Reporter)

One Out Of Three Men Say They'd Dump Their Girlfriend If She Kissed Another Woman:

It seems that sometime, without us even realizing it, the men of the world decided that casual, playful GIRL-ON-GIRL ACTION isn't the greatest thing in the world anymore.

--According to a new survey in England, 32% of men, or just about one out of three, say they'd DUMP their girlfriend if she kissed another girl for FUN.

--40% say they wouldn't dump her, but they'd be angry. Only 28% would be totally into it.

--The main reasons people gave for dumping their girlfriend for kissing another woman were worrying they'd never be able to trust her again . . . or becoming confused about her sexual orientation.

--61% of men say they'd consider it CHEATING if their girlfriend kissed another woman . . . even if it was playful or her just trying to do something to turn HIM on.

--Another strange part of this survey: Only 82% of guys said they'd consider it cheating if their girlfriend kissed another man . . . 18% would not. (

One-Night Stands Are Out. The New Trend Is . . . Two-Night Stands:

We take pride in keeping you up-to-date on all of the biggest trends in the world of CASUAL SEX . . . either so you can know what to expect in your dating life, or so you can vicariously live through the people who are still getting sweet VARIETY. --Apparently, one-night stands are fading away . . . and more and more people are going for TWO-NIGHT STANDS. That means you get-it-on once . . . stay in touch and do it again shortly thereafter . . . THEN never talk again. --The thought behind this is that people see three times as a pattern . . . and a pattern suggests a commitment. But with two times, there's no pattern . . . you're just maximizing the amount of commitment-free sex you guys can have. (The Frisky)

Facebook Causes Asthma Attacks?

Facebook gets blamed for a lot of things . . . but this is definitely a new one. Doctors in Italy are saying that using Facebook could trigger an ASTHMA ATTACK. --They figured this out from an 18-year-old man in Italy whose name hasn't been released. He has asthma. He was using Facebook and happened to see a bunch of photos of his ex-girlfriend getting VERY close to a LOT of new guys. --That sight induced shortness of breath, which triggered an asthma attack. --The doctors in Naples, Italy believe that this kind of thing can happen to anyone. Facebook can lead to a lot of surprises and those types of in-your-face shocking photos . . . which can trigger attacks. (USA Today)

A Pastor Who Ordered Church Leaders To Delete Their Facebook Accounts Because It Leads To Cheating Admits To . . . Wife-Swapping Threesomes:

Doesn't it always seem to go this way? The people who claim the MORAL HIGH GROUND and tell other people how to live their lives are always the ones with the deepest, dirtiest SECRETS. --Last week, we heard about 48-year-old Reverend Cedric Miller of Neptune Township, New Jersey. He's the pastor at Living Word Christian Fellowship Church. --Cedric was getting some attention because he told his married church officials to delete their Facebook profiles, because they lead to ADULTERY. We basically ignored it, because it just sounded like some guy saying ridiculous things to try to get attention. --Well NOW he's got our attention. Because it turns out that back in 2003 . . . before Facebook even existed . . . Cedric admitted to doing some WIFE-SWAPPING and THREESOMES. (--Perhaps he organized the threesomes with Friendster?) --Apparently, in 2003, Cedric's wife started getting-it-on with a male church assistant. Cedric would sometimes JOIN IN on that male-female-male wife-sharing threesome. And also, sometimes the assistant's wife would participate too. --Cedric admitted all of this in some court testimony in 2003, when the assistant was charged in a criminal case. It was eventually dismissed. The assistant and his wife's names haven't been released. --On Friday, Cedric confirmed that he'd had those affairs, but says that he and his wife have repaired their marriage . . . and he stands by his Facebook ban, quote, "to save as many marriages as we can." (Washington Post)

Phrase of the Day: Coming Out of the Cupboard:

coming out of the cupboard (verb) - when someone admits that they're secretly a huge "Harry Potter" fan. The "cupboard" comes from the "Potter" books; Harry lives in a cupboard under his aunt and uncle's stairs before becoming a wizard. --Example: "No, baby, I wasn't cheating on you on Friday night. I guess I have to come out of the cupboard and tell the truth: I love Harry Potter and I went by myself to watch the new movie three times."

Two Strippers In Kansas City Get Into a Fight At Their Club . . . and It Ends With One Stabbing the Other With an Eyeliner Pencil:

Why can't there be unity in the stripper community? Can't they all just bond through glitter, lap dances, and helping each other figure out ways to save money for college? --On Friday night, at the Baccala strip club in Kansas City, Missouri, two strippers were backstage in the changing area and started having words. --The strippers were 27 years old and 29 years old . . . but their names were not released. Their argument escalated and became physical. --The fight ended when the 29-year-old STABBED her fellow stripper using an EYELINER PENCIL. She was arrested, and prosecutors are still deciding on the criminal charges. --Baccala is a strip club that's known for VIOLENCE. In recent history, it's had a double homicide in the parking lot, a security guard shooting, and a 20-person brawl that led to multiple stabbings. --The owners changed the name last year to try to shake the violent image . . . it used to be called Gerry's Silver Slipper. (Kansas City Star)

A Man Is Now $13.7 Million Richer . . . All Thanks To One Night of Naked Sleepwalking:

We can't prove this, but we're pretty sure this is the first time in history that one night of NAKED SLEEPWALKING ever made someone into a multimillionaire. --67-year-old Donal Kinsella of Dunleer, Ireland, used to work for a mining company called Kenmare Resources. In May of 2007, he was on a business trip to check out one of their titanium mines in Mozambique, in Africa. --One night on the trip, while he was sleeping nude, he started sleepwalking. He sleepwalked out of his room and to the door of the hotel room where a company secretary named Deirdre Corcoran was staying.--Another co-worker found him in the hallway and got him back to his room. And that was that. He didn't try to enter Deirdre's room or do anything sexual or inappropriate . . . he just happened to sleepwalk in that direction. --Well . . . word of the sleepwalking got out and Kenmare issued a press release saying they were looking for Donal's resignation. Donal also felt the press release suggested, quote, "something juicy . . . trying to jump the company secretary." --So he sued Kenmare for libel . . . and last week, he won. He got a settlement of $13.7 MILLION. (The Guardian)

Guinness Officially Recognizes a Couple From California As the World's Tallest Couple:

The people at Guinness World Records have just named a new WORLD'S TALLEST COUPLE. --They are Wayne and Laurie Hallquist and they live in Stockton, California. Wayne is six feet, 10.4 inches . . . and Laurie is six feet, six inches. They have a combined height of 13 feet, four inches. --Wayne is 57 years old, Laurie is 46. --They met at a church singles event . . . and they say that from the moment they showed up, everyone tried to hook them up. But they didn't have any chemistry at first. --Laurie says, quote, "He talked about the size of my hands and feet, which is kind of a no-no. [But] the second time we had a chance to talk I figured out he was a really good guy." They were married six months later. --The previous record holders for world's tallest couple were Wilco and Keisha van Kleef-Bolton of England. The Guinness World Records people certified Wayne and Laurie's heights and gave them the record once they got married. (Reuters)

A Man Chokes On Raisins While Driving and Blacks Out . . . Crashes His Truck . . . and the Impact Dislodges the Raisins and Saves Him:

This guy is VERY lucky to be alive . . . surviving a choking and THREE car crashes in the span of two minutes is really no easy feat. --53-year-old Richard Silvia of East Falmouth, Massachusetts is an oil tank repairman. Last week, he was driving an oil truck and eating some raisins for a snack. --At one point he swallowed too many . . . and the raisins clogged his windpipe. He choked, then BLACKED OUT. --His truck started swerving all over the road, and eventually slammed into the side of an Oldsmobile. He bounced off that, crashed into a minivan . . . went through someone's front lawn . . . and finally crashed to a stop. --That crash deployed the airbag, which hit Richard . . . and basically performed an accidental Heimlich. The raisins dislodged, Richard could breathe again, and he regained consciousness. --Amazingly, no one was hurt. The oil tank truck he was driving didn't have any oil in the back, so there was no crazy explosion or anything. Richard was OK, as were the drivers of the two other vehicles he hit. --But Richard DID end up getting ticketed for impeded driving. (Cape Cod Times)

A Mother and Daughter Team Up To Rob an Elderly Woman, Then Get Caught When They Crash Into a Rock . . . and a Cat:

It's hard to imagine just how messed up this family has to be for THIS to seem like a good mother-daughter bonding activity. --Last week, 39-year-old Virginia Magana of Modesto, California and her daughter, 18-year-old Erica Jimenez, were driving in Virginia's white Mazda, looking for someone to ROB. --They also had a 13-year-old female with them. She's not related to them, and the police haven't said what her connection is to the family. --Eventually, they spotted a 74-year-old woman in a Target parking lot and decided she'd make a good victim. So the 13-year-old ran up, grabbed the elderly woman's purse, then ran back into the Mazda and they took off. --Turns out Virginia isn't such a talented getaway driver, though. First she rammed into a decorative rock . . . which knocked off her license plate. --Rather than stop and grab it . . . since, ya know, that's basically leaving your ID at the scene of the crime . . . she kept driving. And she drove directly into a STRAY CAT . . . which died on impact. --Police arrived at the scene, ran the plate, and went to Virginia's house to arrest her, her daughter, and the teenager. They were all charged with robbery, conspiracy, and elder abuse. --Virginia also had a hit-and-run tacked on for killing that poor innocent cat. (Sacramento Bee)

A Human Liver Was Being Flown To a Patient . . . the Plane Crashed . . . Rescue Workers Saved the People On the Plane and Still Get the Liver To the Patient:

This is some AMAZING work by rescue workers in Birmingham, England. --On Friday, a pilot and one other man were flying a small two-seat plane from Belfast, Ireland to Birmingham. On board, they had a human LIVER they were rushing to a hospital patient who needed the transplant to survive. --There was heavy fog . . . and as the pilot was trying to land at Birmingham Airport, he CRASHED. The plane went up in flames. --Firefighters got to the scene and managed to put out the fire . . . retrieve the liver . . . save the pilot and the passenger . . . AND get the liver on an ambulance to the hospital. --The liver transplant was successful and the transplant patient lived. -The pilot and passenger suffered burns and other injuries. The passenger is stable . . . the pilot is in the hospital in critical condition. (Daily Mail)


Monday's Stupid News Extras:

Undertakers are trying to tap into the gay marriage market . . . by selling coffins with male nudes on them.

Some people are already camping out for Black Friday specials . . . and have been camping out since Friday.

Get the Police song clip ready: A woman gets fired from job after her ex-boyfriend calls her at work 1000 times a day. Literally.

A step dance troupe gets stuck in traffic in Lincoln Tunnel on way to perform on BET. They decided to walk the rest of the way in costume, which was camouflage. They're stopped by Port Authority and held until they could establish they weren't some type of militia group.

To help you with Thanksgiving travel plans, here's a list of all the US airports that use the new imaging scanners


#1.) Just in Time for the Holidays, Here's Drunk Santa Peeing in a Parking Garage:

I don't know when or where this happened, but there's a new video on YouTube of a guy in a Santa Claus outfit walking through a parking garage. And he's so drunk, he falls face-first into a car. --Then he tries to relieve himself in a corner, but two people walk out of an elevator and catch him.
(--Search for "Santa heavy drunk fail." He falls at :38 and gets caught at 1:34.)

#2.) The TSA Strip-Searched a Little Kid?

Here's how angry people are about airport security: At the Salt Lake City International Airport on Friday, the TSA wanted to pat down a little boy even though he didn't set off the metal detector. --And the boy's dad got so fed up with it, he took his son's shirt off and handed it to the TSA agent. (--Search for "young boy strip searched by TSA.")

#3.) A Hologram Is Selling Out Concerts in Japan:

This is hard to believe, but apparently it's legit. There's a pop singer in Japan named HATSUNE MIKU (--pronounced Hat-soon-ee Mee-koo). But she's not a person, she's a hologram. And her concerts are selling out. --There's footage of it on YouTube, and it basically looks like a real-life cartoon performing on stage. (--Search for "Hatsune Miku hologram concert video.")

#4.) A Political Ad Shows a Woman Climaxing While Casting Her Vote:

Here's how to get out the vote: An organization in Spain called the Young Socialists released an ad that shows a woman having an ORGASM when she casts her ballot. Both the Socialist Party and the opposition parties have said it's inappropriate.
(--Search for "Socialist Catalonian vote orgasm." She "climaxes" at :58.)

The "Real Simple" Guide To Avoiding Holiday Fights:

If you and your family members tend to bicker this time of year, here's a list from "Real Simple" magazine on how to avoid holiday fighting. --If you REALLY want to avoid a fight on Thanksgiving, the best thing to do is keep quiet and just try to get through the night. But if you CAN'T, here's what to do with seven types of difficult family members . . .

#1.) The Slacker. If there's someone who never helps out in the kitchen and won't even set the table, don't yell. Instead, give them a specific task with specific instructions. If they STILL won't help . . . THEN you can start yelling.

#2.) The Person Who Loves the Holidays WAY Too Much. If there's someone who wants everybody to wear pilgrim and Indian hats at the table . . . and they're over the age of 10 . . . you don't have to take part. --But don't talk about how stupid it is, or you'll look like a jerk.

#3.) The Emotional Wreck. There's bound to be at least one person who's going through tough times this year. So make sure you give them a chance to vent about it BEFORE you sit down for dinner.

#4.) The Person Who Dominates Every Conversation. If you're the host, seat them next to people who won't care . . . like kids. And try to steer the conversation toward topics that other people are experts in.

#5.) The Person Who Does Everything, Then Makes You Feel Guilty. If someone insists on doing all the cooking, then complains about it, they're probably doing it to feel superior . . . which is why it's annoying. --But the only thing you can do is offer to help. And if they won't let you, then all that turkey is guilt-free.

#6.) The Bully. If someone starts causing trouble, try to keep things light. For example, if they say something like "You got the beauty and your brother got the brains," say something like "Yeah, and obviously you got the charm." --If you insult them point blank, it'll start a fight. But if you do it in a light-hearted, funny way, they'll shut up.

#7.) The Alcoholic. Talk to them ahead of time and let them know that if they get drunk, they'll have to leave. Then if they DO get drunk, you just have to make sure they get home safe. --Telling them to leave might actually CAUSE a fight, but getting them out of the situation will avoid a BIGGER fight. (Real Simple)


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