Monday, January 3, 2011


Celebrity Breakups - #1: John Mellencamp:

JOHN MELLENCAMP and his wife Elaine are getting divorced. Their rep issued a statement saying that they're, quote, "proud of their 20 years together and very happy with their accomplishments both as parents and as a family." (--This seems to be a new trend: Couples refusing to see divorce as failure, but instead showing pride . . . and even seeing success . . . in the years they had together.) (--Some people might see this as a breakdown of tradition and family values. And that may very well be true. But I think it's harmful for a much less abstract reason: It's just another way to avoid admitting failure.) (--If you can't meet the standards anymore, don't work harder . . . just LOWER THE STANDARDS. It's the American way.) --This was John Mellencamp's THIRD marriage. I'm sure he's happy with how all of them went. --Here's an interesting wrinkle: MEG RYAN has been seen backstage at some of John's shows recently. And in October, they were spotted walking arm-in-arm in New York City. --There's a chance this could all be innocent. As you may have heard, Mellencamp and STEPHEN KING are collaborating on a stage musical called "The Ghost Brothers of Darkland County". --Well, there's an album version in the works that'll come out before the show hits the stage. And Meg is reportedly voicing one of the characters. So maybe they met through business, and now they're just friends. (--It should be noted, however, that Meg is a CHEATING WHORE who ran around on then-husband Dennis Quaid with Russell Crowe back in 2000.)

Celebrity Breakups - #2: Joe Francis and His Wife Only Made it SEVEN WEEKS:

"Girls Gone Wild’s" Joe Francis managed to make it SEVEN WEEKS as a married man. He and his wife, Christina McLarty, have already split up. --They got married in early November . . . and sources say she moved out shortly after Thanksgiving.

Celebrity Weddings - #1: Shania Twain:

SHANIA TWAIN got married in Puerto Rico on New Year's Day. The lucky guy is Frederic Thiebaud. --As you may recall, Shania's marriage to producer Robert "Mutt" Lange broke down in 2008, amid rumors that he was nailing Thiebaud's wife, Marie-Anne . . . who was one of Shania's closest friends. --Even if their early fornication was grudge-related, Shania and Frederic obviously found a deeper connection balled up somewhere in the sheets. (???) (--Here are some pictures from the ceremony . . .)

Celebrity Weddings - #2: Valerie Bertinelli:

VALERIE BERTINELLI married a financial planner by the name of Tom Vitale on Saturday night in Malibu. They'd been dating for about seven years. She's 50 . . . he's 49. --Valerie's ex-husband, EDDIE VAN HALEN, was among the guests.

Billy Ray and Tish Cyrus May Be Trying to Patch Things Up:

It may not be over for MILEY CYRUS' parents after all. The not-always-reliable "Star" tabloid says they had lunch together last Wednesday at P.F. Chang's in Nashville. --BILLY RAY and TISH CYRUS filed for divorce from each other in October, amid rumors that Tish was having an affair with BRET MICHAELS. --But a source says they're trying to make it work . . . quote, "Just after the split, they were screaming mad at each other. But now they've mellowed and are reaching an understanding. --"Miley has really been pushing them to reconsider and give their marriage another shot."

Ryan Seacrest and Julianne Hough Are Not Engaged:

There's a rumor going around that RYAN SEACREST and JULIANNE HOUGH are engaged. They're not. Ryan says, quote, "I'm not engaged. I'm very happy."
Lindsay Lohan Gets Out of Rehab Today:

In case you forgot, today is the day that LINDSAY LOHAN leaves the Betty Ford Clinic. (--She could be out already, if they decided to fool the paparazzi by springing her in the middle of the night.) --Lindsay started off the New Year on Saturday with an inspirational Tweet. --She said, quote, "Today is the first day of the rest of my life. 'The future depends on what we do in the present.' -Mahatma Gandhi... One step at a time...." --Meanwhile . . . here's something Lindsay can look forward to in the New Year: A song from her father. --MICHAEL LOHAN hired DELIOUS KENNEDY from the R&B group ALL-4-ONE to write and record a song for Lindsay. --It's called "My Rose", and Michael says it's about, quote, "a talented and beautiful young lady who has grown in our hearts, she is badgered by paparazzi, cut down by the media . . . She will wilt, but when she falls, I will always be there to pick her up and put her pedals back on." --There's no word when we might hear this future classic, but here's a sample lyric . . . "The girl is like a rose garden. She falls back, springs forth and grows stronger with thorns."

David Arquette Is In Rehab:

DAVID ARQUETTE checked into rehab over the weekend, for alcoholism and other issues. We should note, however, that those "other issues" do NOT include drugs. --A source says, quote, "He's trying to win Courteney [Cox] back, and he turned back to drinking again out of frustration. --"He is doing this to show her he means it and will do anything for her and Coco. He wants his family life back. It's been so hard on him." --There's no way of knowing if this is going to work, but Courteney is already impressed. She issued a statement saying, quote, "I really admire David and his choice to take charge and better his life. I love and support him."

Wesley Snipes is Teaching Yoga In Prison:

WESLEY SNIPES is making good use of his time in prison, by teaching yoga to his fellow white-collar inmates. --According to TMZ, Snipes requested yoga mats for himself and some of the others. And his request was granted.

New Year's Resolutions of the Stars:

And now it's time for some New Year's Resolutions of the Stars . . .

--Kellan Lutz: "I want to eat better. I eat late at night all the time, and I want to cut that back, and get more sleep. I live right across from Jack in the Box, so that's not good." (--Kellan plays Emmett Cullen in the "Twilight" movies.)

--Emmy Rossum: "To be a good friend, always to be a good friend."

--Brandy Norwood: "Just being healthier. I'm going to try to go back to being a vegan."

--"Bachelor" (slash) "Bachelorette" minx Ali Fedotowsky: "To put down the computer. Shut the laptop and the phone off when it's time to get in bed."

--Pauly D: "My New Year's resolution is to spend more time with my family. I've been traveling like crazy this year and it's been great, but I need some time with family."

--Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino: "[I might be] doing maybe a movie or something."

--Trey Songz: "My New Year's resolution is to stay true to myself. Regardless of what anybody says, I'll never let anybody else's thoughts dictate that of my own."

--Avril Lavigne: "Be healthy, focus hard, make sure to see [my] family."

--And finally, give Jessica Simpson points for honesty. She's making no resolutions, because, quote, "I always break them."

Has O.J. Simpson's Daughter Forgiven Him for Killing Their Mother?

Have you ever wondered what O.J. SIMPSON'S youngest kids, SYDNEY and JUSTIN, think about him? --I mean, pretty much the rest of the world believes he killed their mom, NICOLE BROWN SIMPSON. Do they feel the same way? --Well, according to the "National Enquirer", Sydney . . . who's 25 now . . . DOES believe that O.J. killed Nicole. But she has decided to forgive him. --Apparently, O.J.'s eldest daughter ARNELLE called Sydney and told her that O.J. is heartbroken that he's lost touch with Sydney and Justin . . . who's 22. --O.J., as you probably know, is doing 33 years on kidnapping and armed robbery charges. --A source says, quote, "Sydney still believes that her father murdered her mother, but she wants to make peace with him and tell him that she forgives him. --"She said, 'Murderer or not, he's still my father and he's the only parent I've got. I can't abandon him.'" (--Arnelle is 42 years old. She's one of three kids O.J. had with his first wife, Marguerite L. Whitley.)

Ashton Kutcher Works Out So He Can Be Ready for the End of the World:

Every now and then, a celebrity says something so stupid and / or ignorant that a simple "shut up" simply won't do.
--So we turn for inspiration to the modern day prophet BLACK DYNAMITE . . . played so expertly by MICHAEL JAI WHITE in the classic 2009 motion picture "Black Dynamite" . . . who said . . . --"YOU NEED TO SHUT THE (EFF) UP WHEN GROWN FOLKS IS TALKIN'!"
--Today, we direct that sentiment to ASHTON KUTCHER . . . who was asked recently what motivates him to work out. His answer: THE END OF THE WORLD. --He said, quote, "All of my physical fitness regimen is completely tailored around the end of days. I stay fit for no other reason than to save the people I care about. --"It won't take very much, I'm telling you. It will not take much for people to hit the panic button. The amount of convenience that people rely on based on electricity alone. --"You start taking out electricity and satellites, and people are going to lose their noodle. People don't have maps anymore. People use their iPhones or GPS systems, so if there's no electricity, nobody has maps." --He adds, quote, "People are going to go, 'That land's not yours, prove that it's yours,' and the only thing you have to prove it's yours is on an electric file. --"Then it's like, 'What's the value of currency, and whose food is whose?' People's alarm systems at their homes will no longer work. Neither will our heating, our garbage disposals, hot-water heaters that run on gas but depend on electricity. --"What happens when all our modern conveniences fail? I'm going to be ready to take myself and my family to a safe place where they don't have to worry." --So to you, Ashton Kutcher, we say . . . YOU NEED TO SHUT THE (EFF) UP WHEN GROWN FOLKS IS TALKIN'!

"Little Fockers" Is #1 at the Box Office for a Second Week in a Row:

BEN STILLER'S "Little Fockers" has now been at the top of the box office for the past two weeks. It just earned another $26.3 million over the New Year's weekend. Here are the Top 10 movies . . .

1.) "Little Fockers", $26.3 million. Up to $103 million in its 2nd week.

2.) "True Grit", $24.5 million. Up to $86.8 million in its 2nd week.

3.) "Tron Legacy", $18.3 million. Up to $131 million in its 3rd week.

The Highest-Grossing Movies of 2010: has put together a list of the Highest-Grossing Movies of 2010. This is based on worldwide box office. Here's the rundown:

1.) "Toy Story 3", $1.06 billion
2.) "Alice in Wonderland", $1.02 billion
3.) "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1", $831 million
4.) "Inception", $825 million
5.) "Shrek Forever After", $737 million
6.) "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse", $693 million
7.) "Iron Man 2", $622 million
8.) "Despicable Me", $539 million
9.) (tie) "Clash of the Titans" and "How to Train Your Dragon", $493 million

Did You Know That Conan O'Brien's Sister Is In "The Fighter"?

Here's something you may not have known: CONAN O'BRIEN'S real-life sister KATE plays one of MARK WAHLBERG'S sisters in "The Fighter". --Kate makes her living as a special ed teacher in Brookline, Massachusetts . . . and this is actually her first acting role. She plays Phyllis 'Beaver' Eklund.

Tim Burton Is Not Working on a Sequel to "The Nightmare Before Christmas":

There's been some talk that TIM BURTON is working on a sequel to "The Nightmare Before Christmas". It's not true. --Derek Frey . . . who's one of the suits over at Tim Burton Productions . . . says there's, quote, "no truth to the rumor."

Discovery Has Decided NOT to Air a Documentary Featuring a "Reenactment" of Michael Jackson's Autopsy:

The Discovery Channel has decided NOT to air a scheduled MICHAEL JACKSON documentary, which would feature a "reenactment" of his autopsy. --The special, titled "Michael Jackson's Autopsy: What Really Killed Michael Jackson", was supposed to air in Europe on January 13th. There were no plans to air it in the U.S. (--At least not yet.) --The documentary was unauthorized . . . so naturally, the Jackson estate strongly opposed it. The co-executors called Discovery's plan to air it, quote, "in shockingly bad taste . . . motivated solely by [the] blind desire to exploit Michael's death." --It also sounds like they had their lawyers contact Discovery. --A rep for the network said, quote, "Given the commencement of legal proceedings beginning next week, and at the request of Michael Jackson's estate, the scheduled broadcast of the medical documentary related to Michael Jackson's official autopsy has been postponed indefinitely." (--The "documentary" was just a fictional breakdown of how the autopsy likely went down, along with its results. So it seems at least a little exploitative . . . unless they actually had something new to bring to the table.)

The Most Unethical Shows on TV:

Does it matter to you when people act unethically in the workplace on your favorite TV shows? Probably not. Because let's be honest . . . that's the kind of stuff that makes TV shows INTERESTING. A company called Global Compliance doesn't seem to agree. They went around analyzing TV shows for unethical behavior. --They were looking for all kinds of things, but it basically boils down to stuff like "diversity, equal opportunity and respect in the workplace . . . policy and process integrity . . . safety . . . and misuse or misappropriation of assets or information." --After all the data was compiled, "30 Rock" was found to be the most "unethical" show that they looked at . . . with an average of 11 violations per episode. "Grey's Anatomy" was next with an average of seven. --They tracked nine shows overall. Here's how they ranked, along with the average number of violations:

#1.) "30 Rock" . . . 11 violations per episode

#2.) "Grey's Anatomy" . . . 7 violations per episode

#3.) "CSI" . . . 6 violations per episode

#4.) "House" . . . 6 violations per episode

#5.) "The Office" . . . 5 violations per episode

#6.) "NCIS" . . . 5 violations per episode

#7.) USA Network's "White Collar" . . . 4 violations per episode

#8.) "Ugly Betty" . . . 2 violations per episode

#9.) "Glee" . . . 2 violations per episode

--For the record, it seems like the researchers WERE aware that most of these "violations" were probably intentional for comedic or dramatic effect . . . but they still believe the data is important. --For example, they're asking whether we find these unethical situations funny or interesting because they're things we can't or wouldn't do at our own jobs . . . or if they're things that we DO recognize from our own work environments. (--We should probably note that Global Compliance appears to have only watched TWO EPISODES of each of these nine shows. Obviously, that's a pretty small sample size. You can check out their report, here.)

Monday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"The Bachelor" [15th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Former "Bachelor" Brad Womack returns. But before meeting his 30 new women, he must first face the two women he previously rejected back in 2007 . . . DeAnna Pappas and Jenni Croft.)

--"Pretty Little Liars" [1st Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC Family.

--"Enough Already! With Peter Walsh" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on OWN. (--An organizational expert teaches families to relinquish their emotional attachments to things in order to move forward and live clutter-free.)

--"The Closer" [6th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TNT.

--"Greek" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC Family.

--"My Big Friggin Wedding" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on VH1.

--"Castle" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Laura Prepon guest stars as an actress who lands the role of Nikki Heat in the movie version of Castle's book.)

--"Mario Lopez: Saved By The Baby" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on VH1.

--"In the Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on OWN. (--Sex expert Dr. Laura Berman offers tips and tricks for having great sex and rediscovering your partner.)

--"The Opener" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC. (--Chef David Adjey helps two friends attain their dream of opening their own Italian restaurant.)

New Details on Lady Gaga's Next Album:

LADY GAGA'S next album, "Born This Way", will hit stores on May 23rd. The first single, which is the title track, will premiere on February 13th. The announcement was made on Lady Gaga's Twitter feed . . . just after midnight on New Year's. (--For what it's worth, February 13th is the day of the Grammys . . . so there's a good chance that she plans on debuting the song during the ceremony.) (--This year's performers haven't been announced yet, but Lady Gaga will probably be one of them. She's nominated in six categories.) --But that's not all. The release dates came with a picture of Lady Gaga wearing a "Born This Way" jacket . . . and NOT wearing any pants . . . or underpants. It's taken from behind, so the shot prominently shows her naked backside. (???) (--If Lady Gaga's naked butt is something you'd actually like to see this morning, hit up this link . . .)
(--It's unclear if the picture will be a part of the album's artwork . . . or if Lady Gaga just sent it out for the hell of it.)

Chuck Berry Left a Chicago Show After Suffering "Exhaustion":

CHUCK BERRY had to be escorted off the stage during a performance in Chicago on Saturday night . . . but it sounds like he's OK. Chuck is 84 years old. --The promoter told TMZ Chuck was out of it from the on-set . . . quote, "Obviously, something was off . . . 15 minutes into the set it went from fine to something wasn't right. He was starting songs mid-song, playing 15 seconds of a song." --According to reports, Chuck was struggling with the guitar . . . and eventually slumped over a keyboard. He was escorted backstage, where some paramedics checked him out. --He returned 15 minutes later, but he couldn't finish the set. He was helped off a second time. --Chuck briefly returned AGAIN later . . . told the crowd he was all right . . . did one of his "duck walks" . . . and then left for good. (--Here's video of that . . .) --Chuck didn't go to the hospital. He just went home. Yesterday, his rep said it was "exhaustion." He added, quote, "He's currently on a plane on [the] way home."

The "New Justin Timberlake Song" Doesn't Appear to Be Justin Timberlake:

Last week, there was speculation that a "new" JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE song called "Take You Down", had leaked online. Well, that doesn't appear to be the case. --Some people are claiming that it's Justin . . . but others say it's a song called "LLL (Love, Liquor, Lick It)", which came out last year. --It was recorded by a singer named Rasmus Thude from Denmark. And it DEFINITELY does seem to be the same song. (--Listen for yourself. Here's the supposedly "new" Justin Timberlake song . . .)
(--And you can hear Rasmus' song on his MySpace page, here . . .)

Jay-Z Has a Man-Crush on Coldplay Singer Chris Martin:

JAY-Z has collaborated with COLDPLAY singer CHRIS MARTIN over the years, but it sounds like their relationship transcends work. They're tighter than that. --Jay-Z tells BBC News, quote, "[Chris is] a brother from another mother. I see him more than my own brother. Actually, I do. --"[He's] one of the geniuses of our generation. Any time you can collaborate with that sort of genius, you jump at the chance, I don't care who you are."


The "National Enquirer" says there's trouble the Clinton household ever since BILL told HILLARY, quote, "You're huge! You need to go to a fat farm!" (???)

As of today, ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER is no longer governor of California. His future will probably include speaking engagements . . . and might also include a return to acting.

VAL KILMER owes the IRS $500,000.

REGGIE BUSH hit up Twitter to ask his followers if the phrase "no homo" is offensive to gay people.

Check out this list of the Top 10 Movie Quotes of 2010. "Machete don't text" is #10.

"Lost" has topped a list of the most pirated TV shows in 2010. "Heroes" came in second, followed by "Dexter". (--You can find the Top 10, here . . .)

As long as the members of ABBA are alive, there will be rumors that they're considering a reunion. Why? Who knows. In a recent interview, Agnetha Faltskog stopped short of denying talk that they could reunite for Price William's wedding.

A radio station in Hungary is in trouble for intentionally playing uncensored ICE-T tracks when they weren't permitted to. Ice-T responded on Twitter by saying, quote, "I love it! The world still fears me. hahaha!"


In Arizona, A Mother and Daughter Both Had a Sexual Relationship With an Underage Boy . . . And Neither Knew the Other One Was Doing It:

For reference, this does NOT count as mother-daughter bonding. But it's definitely a reason for a mother and daughter both to get thrown in PRISON for a long, long time. --In Chandler, Arizona, 48-year-old Susan Brock and her daughter, 21-year-old Rachel Brock, are both accused of having a sexual relationship with an underage teenage boy. The SAME underage teenage boy. And neither knew the other one was doing it. --The boy was a family friend. --Rachel is accused of having sex with him and sending him nude photos when she was 18 and he was 14. --At the same time, her mother Susan is accused of picking him up from school, driving him to secluded areas, and performing sexual acts on him. --Fulton Brock is Susan's husband and Rachel's father. And he's a cop. He says he's, quote, "shocked and devastated. I have filed to divorce my wife. I cannot divorce my daughter. She is my blood. And she needs me now more than ever." --Rachel is charged with sexual conduct with a minor and furnishing obscene materials to a minor. Susan is charged with child abuse, sexual conduct with a minor, sexual exploitation of a minor, and furnishing harmful items to a minor. (Arizona Republic)

More Than Half of Us Have Had Sex In a Car . . . Plus the Top 10 Cars To Do It In:

Doing it in the backseat of a car is an important rite of passage in every American's life. Right up there with getting sick from drinking wine coolers and having massive credit card debt. --So it's kind of surprising that this number is so low. According to a new survey, 54% of people say they've gotten-it-on in a car. And only 22% enjoyed it.

--Men were more likely to enjoy car relations than women, 28% to 18%.

--Believe it or not, people over 55 were most likely to have gotten-it-on in a car. 75% of the 55-plus crowd have done it.

--And they were the most likely to have enjoyed it, at 39%.

--People also voted on the best cars for having relations, and the list is . . . well, interesting.

--The Mercedes-Benz E-Class was voted the best . . . we're guessing because it's a well-made luxury car with a large backseat . . . and the rest of the list is a mix of nostalgia, money and space.

--Here's the full top 10 . . .

#1.) Mercedes-Benz E-Class

#2.) Volkswagen Beetle

#3.) Ferrari 458 Italia

#4.) Mini Cooper

#5.) Volvo V70 station wagon

#6.) Volkswagen Golf GTI

#7.) Alfa Romeo Spider

#8.) Rolls-Royce Ghost

#9.) Aston Martin Vanquish

#10.) Land Rover Discovery
(Car Scoop)

A Woman In Poland Gave Birth To Twins . . . And Each Has a Different Father?

--In Poznan, Poland, a woman . . . whose name hasn't been released . . . gave birth to twins. They were fraternal twins . . . a boy and a girl. And DNA testing showed that these twins were unique . . . because each one had a DIFFERENT FATHER. --That's right. Apparently, the woman got knocked up by her husband . . . then, very shortly after, got knocked up by her man on the side. Both men fertilized individual eggs. --According to her doctors, there are only SEVEN cases in the world of twins who've been born with different fathers. --There's actually a medical term for it. It's called heteropaternal superfecundation. (--It's pronounced 'Het urr oh puh terr nul soop er feck un day shun.') --The Polish woman and her husband are getting divorced. She and the twins are now living with the guy from the affair. (Earth Times)

The Annual List of Words That Need To Be Banished Includes 'Viral' . . . 'BFF' and 'Epic Fail':

Lake Superior State University in Michigan just put out its 34th annual list of banished words. According to them, it's made up of words that are so overused, misused, and irritating that they need to be kicked out of the English language. --The number one word this year? VIRAL. Not referring to actual viruses, but referring to anything on the Internet that gets even remotely popular. --There are plenty of other words spawned from the Internet on the list. "Epic fail", which is a popular Internet phrase for someone messing up something in a huge way, also made the list. So did the words "epic" and "fail" by themselves. --Using "Facebook" and "Google" as verbs also made the list. --Some of the other banished words for the year are "wow factor" . . . "a-ha moment" . . . "BFF" . . . "man up" . . . "the American people" . . . "I'm just sayin'" . . . and "live life to the fullest." --Two SARAH PALIN phrases also made the list: "Refudiate," her made-up mix of "refute" and "repudiate," and the phrase "mama grizzlies" to describe right-wing females. --Back when the list started in 1976, it included words and phrases like "at this point in time" . . . "meaningful" . . . "scenario" . . . and "macho." (
(--You can check out all of the lists from 1976 to 2011 here . . .)
In 2010, 43.9 Million Facebook Users Changed Their Relationship Status To Single:

If Facebook is any indication, there are MILLIONS of new people out there waiting to share their genitalia with you in 2011. --According to the final data from 2010, during the year, 43.9 million Facebook users changed their relationship status to "single." --Only 28.5 million switched their status to "in a relationship." --Six million switched to "engaged" . . . 36.8 million switched to "married" . . . and three million went with the infamous "it's complicated" option. --Here are some more numbers from Facebook in 2010 . . . --More than 2.7 million photographs were uploaded, more than one million links were shared, and more than 7.6 million pages were liked . . . EVERY 20 MINUTES. --There are also about 1.5 million event invitations, 1.3 million photos tagged, and 4.6 million messages sent every 20 minutes. --Lady Gaga was the most "liked" celebrity on Facebook. She got 24.7 million likes. Eminem got 23.7 million, and President Obama got 17.2 million. (Mashable)

Milwaukee Is Named the Drunkest City In the U.S.:

Well this makes sense. The city that's the home of Miller beer, and whose baseball team is called the BREWERS, is the drunkest city in the country. Who would've thought? --According to a study by The Daily Beast, Milwaukee is the drunkest city in the U.S. The rankings are based on average alcohol consumption per person, binge drinking stats, and deaths from alcohol-related liver disease. --The average Milwaukee resident puts down 12.76 drinks per month and 21.8% of the locals are binge drinkers. Binge drinking is defined as having four to five drinks in a single night. Here's the rest of the top 10:

#2.) Fargo, North Dakota

#3.) San Francisco

#4.) Austin, Texas

#5.) Reno, Nevada

#6.) Burlington, Vermont

#7.) Omaha, Nebraska

#8.) Boston

#9.) Anchorage, Alaska

#10.) San Diego (The Daily Beast)

(--Check out the full top 40 list here . . .)

One Out of Every Six of Us Is Going To Live To Be 100:

We're all gonna live forever! Or, at least we're gonna live longer than we have any right to with our pro-chubbiness, pro-binge drinking, pro-stupidity lifestyles. -According to a new study out of England, approximately ONE out of SIX of us should expect to live to be 100. Thanks to the quality of our diet, better living conditions, and constantly-improving medical technology, we're set to live longer than any other people in history. (Daily Mail) (--And sure, Social Security doesn't have even a remote prayer of helping this barrage of old people. But I'm sure some politician will fix that soon . . .)

Who's More Afraid of the Dentist, Men or Women?

We don't want to suggest that this survey finally answers the question of "Who's more COWARDLY, men or women?" . . . but if you choose to interpret it that way, we won't be mad at ya. --A new study wanted to see who's more afraid of going to the DENTIST, men or women. And it wasn't even CLOSE. --The answer was . . . women. About one out of every five women are afraid of the dentist, versus one out of every 10 men. (AOL Health)

A Man In New York City Tries To Kill Himself By Jumping Off His Building . . . But Survives When He Lands On a Huge Pile of Sidewalk Garbage:

We finally have a story about why it's a GOOD thing New York's streets are covered in trash. --Yesterday, a man in New York City tried to commit suicide by jumping off of a nine-story building . . . more than 100 feet up . . . in midtown Manhattan. --But he survived because instead of splattering on the concrete sidewalk, he landed on a GIANT PILE OF GARBAGE that cushioned his fall. --The man is in his 30s. His name hasn't been released. --New York hasn't collected garbage in a long time. The city got buried in snow on December 26th and has cancelled garbage collection ever since. --The man was rushed to the hospital where he's currently alive but in critical condition. (New York Daily News)

Word of the Day: Shatner Comma:

Shatner comma (noun) /shatt nure kah muhz/ - a comma incorrectly inserted into a sentence that, if pronounced properly, would make you say the sentence in the classic WILLIAM SHATNER staccato style. --Example: "The sentence 'I was going, to the mall, when I saw, three, friends' is just loaded with Shatner commas."

Website of the Day: When Parents Text:

Here's another website devoted to the magic that occurs when your parents start using technology without fully understanding it. --It's called When Parents Text, and it features real text message exchanges between people and their parents. Some of them are just boring typos, but some are great, like this . . .

--Mom: "Do you have any idea where the Vaseline is?"
--Me: "No, I don't live at home anymore."
--Mom, two hours later: "I don't like your tone."


Want to compare the world to what it was like in the year 2000? Here's a cool chart: The price of oil went from $28 per barrel to $65, and the number of earthquakes in the U.S. tripled:

A guy stopped for driving drunk uses the old, "Ozzy Osbourne made me do it" defense:

The Governor of New Mexico refused to pardon Billy the Kid for killing a law enforcement official 100 years after his death:

Check out a list of America's ugliest airports: LaGuardia Airport in New York City took number one, followed by JFK . . . also in New York . . . then St. Louis, Philly, and LAX:

Four nursing students in Kansas were expelled after posing with a human placenta . . . and posting the photo on Facebook:


#1.) A Guy Robbed a Convenience Store Using a Huge Tree Branch:

Last Tuesday, some idiot decided to rob a convenience store outside Washington D.C. And his weapon of choice was . . . a seven-foot-long tree branch. --He ended up getting away with some cash, but the clerk never backed down. When the guy stormed in with the huge stick, the clerk grabbed a hammer from behind the counter and they had a stand-off. --But here's the best part: The security footage is sped up, so it makes the stand-off even funnier . . . especially if you add in the BENNY HILL theme song using (--Search for "guy robs store with big stick.")

#2.) Snooki's New Year's Eve Ball Drop Happened in New Jersey Instead of Times Square . . . And Was as Lame as You'd Imagine:

The SNOOKI ball drop DID happen on New Year's Eve, but they moved it from Times Square to the Jersey Shore at the last minute. If you missed it, you didn't miss much. She was only about 20 feet up, and the ball dropped VERY slowly. --Unfortunately . . . she wasn't harmed. But you can check it out at (--Search for "Snooki ball drop." It starts being lowered around 1:57.)

#3.) Thousands of Dead Birds Fell From the Sky in Arkansas on New Year's Eve:

On New Year's Eve, thousands of dead blackbirds fell from the sky in Beebe, Arkansas (--about 45 miles northeast of Little Rock). --An expert with the state's Livestock and Poultry Commission speculated that the entire flock could have been hit by lightning or high-altitude hail. But he also said it's possible that New Year's Eve fireworks SCARED them to death. --There's no footage of the birds actually plummeting to the ground, but it's all over the local news in Arkansas. (--Search for "5,000 dead birds fall on New Year's Eve.")

#4.) Here's the Most Pessimistic Baby in the History of Babies:

There's a new video online of a baby in a bathtub, and he either ONLY knows the word "no", or he just likes saying it a lot. --Because his parents ask him questions like, "Do you love your mommy" and "Did you have a good Christmas," and they never get a yes. (--Search for "baby hates everything")
Six Things That Cost Way More Than They're Worth:

If your New Year's resolution is to start saving money, here's a list that might help. It's six things that cost WAY more than they should . . .

#1.) Coffee at a Coffee Shop. A $3 Venti at Starbucks costs about 25 cents to make at home.

#2.) Wine at a Restaurant. On average, they charge three times what it costs at the store. And it's basically the same with beer and liquor.

#3.) Hotel Minibars. The food and drinks cost four times what you'd pay in a store.

--And ordering a movie at a hotel costs twice as much as renting one at a video store. (--Or more, depending on how much SKIN you're trying to see.)

#4.) Movie Theater Popcorn. An average bag costs 12 times more than it costs to make.

#5.) Bottled Water. It's marked up by about 4,000 percent. That's why you should spend ten to twenty dollars and buy a reusable bottle with a built-in filter. The new ones filter regular tap water WHILE you drink it.

#6.) Text Messages. Sending a single text only costs your phone company about ONE-THIRD of a cent. But some providers charge up to 20 cents per text if you go over your limit. That's a 6,000 percent mark-up.

--So if you ALWAYS go over your limit, you should think about paying a little more per month and getting an unlimited plan. (


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