HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (01-31-11)

SHEEN-ANIGANS

Charlie Sheen is Back in Rehab:

CHARLIE SHEEN is back in rehab. (--And this time, it's totally going to work.) --His rep said, quote, "[Charlie] is most grateful to all who have expressed their concern. Mr. Sheen asks that his privacy be respected at this time and that no additional information will be provided." --There's no word where Charlie is. --His manager added, quote, "Charlie knows he has work to do and he is looking forward to regaining his sobriety. --"Charlie hopes to be back at work in the near future, but there is no time frame. Regaining his sobriety is what is most important." --As you probably guessed by that statement, production on "Two and a Half Men" is on hiatus until . . . whenever Charlie is ready to work again. --But Charlie's uncle, JOE ESTEVEZ, thinks production should continue on schedule . . . with HIM in Charlie's place. -Joe's manager sent a message to the show's bosses saying, quote, "Just a wild thought . . . How about a test episode of 'Two and a Half Men', where Joe comes to housesit while Charlie is on 'vacation'. Your writers could have a ball with this." --He also said that Joe is, quote, "by far the funniest of the Sheen and Estevez clan."


Before Going to Rehab, Charlie Sheen Said He Was "Fine":

On Friday afternoon, just before CHARLIE SHEEN announced he was going back to rehab, he sent a text to RadarOnline.com saying there was nothing wrong with him. --He said, quote, "I'm fine. People don't seem to get it . . . Guy can't have a great time and do his job also?" He also called his critics, quote, "A bunch of turds."


Lindsay Lohan is Worried About Charlie Sheen . . . And Chevy Chase Thinks He's Screwed Up:

Here's how you know you're in DEEP: When LINDSAY LOHAN thinks you've gone too far. So-called "sources" say that Lindsay is worried about CHARLIE SHEEN. --One of them says, quote, "Lindsay understands the problem of having the wrong people around and wants Charlie to understand that he needs to surround himself with positive, sober people." --Meanwhile, the paparazzi caught up with CHEVY CHASE and asked him about Charlie. His final analysis was, quote, "Jeez, that is guy screwed up." He also calls him, quote, "an idiot." (--Check it out here.)


Jonathan Knight Makes it Official: He's Gay:

About a week and a half ago, '80s teen pop star TIFFANY accidentally outed JONATHAN KNIGHT of the NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK. So he decided to make it official: He's gay. --But he says he's not coming OUT . . . because he was never IN . . . quote, "I have never been outed by anyone but myself . . . I have lived my life very openly and have never hidden the fact that I am gay. --"Apparently the prerequisite to being a gay public figure is to appear on the cover of a magazine with the caption 'I am gay'. I apologize for not doing so if this is what was expected!" (--You can read his full statement here.)


Are Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens Just Friends with Benefits?

ZAC EFRON and VANESSA HUDGENS might not be back together after all. They might just be FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS. -A so-called "source" says, quote, "[They're] comfortable flirting and acting like a couple amongst friends, [but] nothing is official. --"They are just friends with benefits and while something more is certainly possible, they are taking things slow. It's obvious they still have strong feelings for each other and are continuing to hook up."


Jaime Pressly Is Getting Divorced:

No big surprise here: JAIME PRESSLY filed for divorce from her husband, Simran Singh . . . citing the classically ambiguous "irreconcilable differences". --She also asked the court to deny him spousal support. (--Jaime and Simran were married for about 15 months. They had no kids together. Jaime has a 3-year-old son named Dezi from a previous relationship.)
David Arquette Is Out of Rehab:

DAVID ARQUETTE checked out of rehab yesterday, after about a month of treatment. His rep says, quote, "He has completed his treatment and has left. [He's] in great spirits. He's feeling good and he's ready to move forward." --Arquette checked into rehab for alcohol and other issues . . . but supposedly NOT drugs.


Demi Lovato Is Out of Rehab:

DEMI LOVATO is done being treated for her, quote, "emotional and physical issues". She's out of rehab and back home in L.A. --Her rep says, quote, "She will continue to see doctors in L.A. who will help her work on the issues she confronted in treatment. For now, she is getting back to her regular routine and spending time with her family and close friends. --"She is so grateful to all of her fans for their support, and looks forward to being able to talk to all of them very soon. Demi will continue to focus first and foremost on her well-being." --Demi checked into rehab last October after losing her mind and punching a backup dancer while opening for the JONAS BROTHERS last October in Peru.


Terry McMillan Says Jaden and Willow Smith Are Being "Pimped and Exploited":

Author TERRY MCMILLAN . . . who wrote the books "Waiting to Exhale" and "How Stella Got Her Groove Back" . . . started some crap the other day when she WENT OFF on JADEN and WILLOW SMITH in a series of Tweets. --Here they are . . . --"The Smith children already act like child stars. There's an arrogance in their demeanor and behavior. I find it incredibly sad." --"It feels like the Smith children are being pimped and exploited. Or, they're already hungry for fame. What about 4th grade?" --"A lot of A-list movie stars shielded their children from the Hollywood-world until they were old enough to decide. Look at those who didn't." --"Look at Lindsay. Phoenix. To name but a few. They miss out on childhood. It's more important than fame." --"These kids don't already know what they 'love'. Total bull(crap). They're not prodigies. They think Hollywood is real." --Then she finished it off with this . . . quote, "I raised my son. I'm not wasting another minute worrying about how Will & Jada are raising their kids. P.S. I loved the Karate Kid." --Terry then apologized, saying, quote, "I apologize for using the word pimp and exploit in referring to the Smith children. It was insensitive of me and wrong." --However . . . She must have suffered some backlash, because she DELETED her apology, then went after the haters. --She said, quote, "So, I'm on blast? Too bad when I talk about what's happening in the government, the GOP, racism, love, etc., doesn't go viral. --"These are probably the same folks who live for reality TV and don't care about an SAT score. Or college.--"I think of followers as friends I'm letting into my living room. We differ in opinion but aren't rude. Others: I wouldn't let in my front yard" (--There's no word yet from Will or Jada.)


The New Superman is British:

First, they cast a British guy to play our 16th president in "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter". Now, they've cast yet another Limey as the new Superman. --It's HENRY CAVILL . . . who's probably best known for playing Charles Brandon on the Showtime series "The Tudors". (--He was also in a very underrated Nazi occult horror flick called "Blood Creek". It's worth a rental if you're into that sort of thing. Dude . . . ZOMBIE HORSES. How can you resist that?) --The latest reboot of the Superman franchise will be called "Superman: Man of Steel". It's being directed by ZACK SNYDER, who did "300", "Watchmen" and the "Dawn of the Dead" remake. --The story was conceived by CHRISTOPHER NOLAN . . . the GENIUS behind the current "Batman" flicks . . . not to mention "Inception". --Cavill was actually cast as Superman several years ago, when "Charlie's Angels" director McG was going to reboot the series. -But then "X-Men" director BRYAN SINGER took over the project, and he cast BRANDON ROUTH. The resulting film, "Superman Returns", came out in 2006, and was generally considered a disappointment, even though it made decent money. --Christian Bale is British, you know. And so is the new Spider-Man, Andrew Garfield. That means that Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, and Abraham Lincoln are all being played by Brits. Should somebody tell Glenn Beck about this? Discuss.)


The Average Movie Ticket Price Is Up 5%:

The average movie ticket price went up again over the past year. Although it only went up 5% . . . which is kind of surprising in a GOOD way. --In 2010, the average movie ticket went up to $7.89, which is an all-time high. It was $7.50 in 2009. --But you'd think it would have been much higher, given the fact that there were so many 3D movies over the past year. --As anyone who regularly goes to the movies knows, 3D can add $2.50 to $4 to the price of a single ticket. --As you may recall, an AMC theater in New York City made national news by charging 20 bucks a ticket for 3D screenings of "Shrek Forever After". --This year, about thirty-five 3D movies are expected to hit theaters . . . which means even higher prices by year's end. -A rep for the National Association of Theater Owners would like you to know that the current per-ticket average is actually LOWER than it was in 1970, if you adjust for inflation. -Back then, the average ticket cost $1.55. In today's dollars, that's $8.71.


Anthony Hopkins' "The Rite" Is The New #1 Movie in America:

ANTHONY HOPKINS' new horror film "The Rite" came in #1 at the box office with $15 million. JASON STATHAM'S "The Mechanic" earned $11.5 million to open in 3rd place. Here are the Top 3 movies . . .

1.) (NEW) Anthony Hopkins' "The Rite", $15 million.
2.) "No Strings Attached", $13.7 million. Up to $39.7 million in its 2nd week.
3.) (NEW) "The Mechanic", $11.5 million.


Justin Bieber's "CSI" Character Will Not Survive:

JUSTIN BIEBER is returning to "CSI" next month, but this will likely be his FINAL appearance . . . because his character isn't going to survive the episode. --The exact details aren't clear, but GEORGE EADS . . . who plays Nick Stokes . . . says he takes Justin's character out. (--Justin is playing Jason, a crazy kid whose brother was killed by the CSIs in his last episode, which aired in September.) --George says, quote, "One of my crew guys goes, 'Man you're going to split the country down the middle . . . half of them are going to hate you [for killing off Justin] and half of them are going to love you. --"In the context of the story, he deserved it. I think in a way I was also at fault for killing Taylor Swift, too. Man, I'm going to have to stay away from a lot of people. Tell Miley Cyrus not to come one our show." (--Taylor Swift guest starred on "CSI" back in March of 2009.) --The episode is scheduled to air on February 17th. The week before that, Justin's movie "Never Say Never" hits theaters. --Justin did a good job promoting it when the paparazzi caught him and his alleged girlfriend SELENA GOMEZ coming out of a movie theater together last Thursday night. They saw "No Strings Attached". (--Watch the video, here.) (--"No Strings Attached" is an R-rated movie about a couple who try to have a casual, sexual relationship. Justin is 16. Not judging. Just sayin'.)


Mark Zuckerberg Appeared with Jesse Eisenberg on "SNL":

"Social Network" star JESSE EISENBERG met Facebook creator MARK ZUCKERBERG for the first time over the weekend . . . during his "Saturday Night Live" monologue. (--Jesse played Mark in "The Social Network".) --Jesse was bantering with ANDY SAMBERG, who was doing HIS Mark Zuckerberg impersonation, when the real Mark Zuckerberg joined them onstage. That's when Samberg said, quote, "Wait . . . have you two not met? Awkward!" --They didn't actually meet at that moment. Mark also came out during the final dress rehearsal, so it wasn't a LIVE surprise. (--You can check out the video at NBC's site, here. The real Mark Zuckerberg first appears at the 2:30 mark . . . and comes onstage at the 3:30 mark.)


NBC Is Developing a Cop Show Based on Grimm's Fairy Tales:

NBC is developing yet another cop drama, but this one sounds a little weird. --The show is called "Grimm", and it's being described as a, quote, "dark but fantastical cop drama about a world in which characters inspired by Grimm's Fairy Tales exist." It's too early to say when it might premiere. (--Meanwhile, NBC has another show in the works called "17th Precinct" . . . about "cops working in a town where people also have magical powers.")
Monday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"I'm in the Band" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on Disney XD. (--Alan Thicke guests as a high-profile music producer when Iron Weasel tries to get him to work with them.)

--"Lie to Me" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"The Cape" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Mena Suvari guest stars as a woman trying to kill Chess, as revenge for her father's death . . . forcing The Cape to protect his arch-enemy.)

--"Greek" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC Family. (--Jonathan Silverman guest stars as Peter's dad.)

--"American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery Channel. (--The OCC unveils a custom bike for St. Jude amidst rumors that the shop is in foreclosure. Meanwhile Paul Jr. takes on a new client.)

--"Cake Boss" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC. (--Rachael Ray orders a cake from Buddy and his crew.)

--"Taken From Me: The Tiffany Rubin Story" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Lifetime. (--Taraji P. Henson stars in this true story of a mom trying to rescue her 6-year-old son after his dad abducted him. "Lost's" Terry O'Quinn plays a child advocate.)

--"Shatner's Raw Nerve" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Biography. (--Carol Burnett and Marilu Henner guest.)

--"RuPaul's Drag Race" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Logo. (--Lily Tomlin guest judges with Alessandra Torresani, who played Cylon Zoe on "Caprica".)


Bruno Mars Is Pleading Guilty to Cocaine Possession:

BRUNO MARS got off easy. He will NOT have to do any prison time for his cocaine bust . . . as long he stays out of trouble for the next year. (--Bruno was arrested in Las Vegas last September, after a bathroom attendant saw him with cocaine . . . and ratted him out.) --On Friday, Bruno will plead guilty to felony cocaine possession. As part of his deal, he'll have to pay a $2,000 fine, and will have to do 200 hours of community service and undergo drug counseling. But he won't have to go to jail. --He could've been sentenced to up to four years behind bars, but since this is his first offense, he'll get away with a year of informal probation. And as long as he keeps his nose clean . . . literally . . . he'll have all this erased from his record. --Bruno's lawyer doesn't think there will be any future problems. He says, quote, "Bruno is very appreciative [that] he is being given this opportunity as a first offender not to suffer any conviction and instead to have his charge dismissed. --"He is taking all of this quite seriously." (--By the way, this is basically the same deal PARIS HILTON got after she was busted for cocaine possession in Vegas last summer.)


Britney Spears' New Album Is Coming Out in March:

BRITNEY SPEARS' next album is coming out March 15th. There's no title yet. --According to some kind of leaked "marketing campaign" document, Britney is planning on doing, quote, "a major TV event to launch the album . . . worldwide online contests . . . and a LGBT / lifestyle campaign" to market the album to fans. --And sadly, there are no additional details on the gay "lifestyle campaign" yet.


Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt Have Unleashed New, Terrible Songs:

Former "Hills" idiots HEIDI MONTAG and SPENCER PRATT have released new tracks. And they're both abysmal . . . not that you'd expect anything else from them. --Heidi's song is called "Heartbeat". (--You can listen to it, here.) --It's pretty hard to make out ANY of Heidi's lyrics on first listen. But the chorus includes the lines: "Don't touch me. No, no, no, no, no. Don't touch me. I don't need to enjoy myself. Enjoy myself to diffuse it. I'm gonna lose it, if you're making my heart beat." --Spencer's new track is a rap called "Go to Work". It features two rappers named Pete G and Ya Boy. (--Check it out, here. And you can revisit Spencer's KFC rap "Ain't No Thing But a Chicken Wing", here.)
Steven Tyler's "Idol" Gig Is Selling Some Aerosmith Music:

When STEVEN TYLER got the "American Idol" gig, AEROSMITH guitarist JOE PERRY and the rest of the band seemed concerned with what it was going to do to the band. --Well, so far . . . it seems to be HELPING. --If you've been watching "Idol", you've probably noticed how frequently they're showcasing Aerosmith songs . . . both in the background, and up front . . . with some contestants even singing Aerosmith songs with Steven. --And naturally, this is boosting their profile. The Aerosmith song "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" is now #22 on the iTunes chart . . . and two versions of "Dream On" are charting #77 and #115, respectively. --On top of that, it sounds like the band is already working on recording their next album, while Steven is stuck in L.A. for "Idol".


50 Cent and Ciara Have Twitter Beef:

50 CENT and CIARA have apparently engaged in a Twitter beef. --It all started when 50 Cent Tweeted, quote, "I just left the Playboy mansion . . . --"I think I want to be a pimp now. I have strong pimp qualities. LOL . . . I'm looking for girls to start my new line of work. Are there any strong potential hoe's on tweeter right now. LOL." --Ciara responded, quote, "The things people tweet say a lot about their character, pay attention!" --50 shot back, with this: "Yea I tweet things that reflect my character (B-word). I have a sense of humor, get one (lol). That's why you're 3 million followers behind me." --Ciara responded, quote, "Who you callin' a (B-word)" . . . and linked to Queen Latifah's '90s song "U.N.I.T.Y." which slams guys who call women (B-words). --50 then ended things . . . for now . . . by replying, quote, "Now I'm not going back and forth with you on Twitter, now cut it out."


SHOWBIZ EXTRAS


Former "CHiPs" star LARRY WILCOX will avoid jail on securities fraud charges. The judge sentences him to three years' probation instead. (Full Story)


JUDE LAW and ROBERT DOWNEY JR. became great friends on the set of "Sherlock Holmes". But they're barely speaking on the set of the sequel, because Jude is disgusted with Robert's continued support of MEL GIBSON. (Full Story)


The "Screen Actors Guild Awards" were held last night. (Full Story) (--Speaking of SAG winners, enjoy some sagless photos of beautiful "Boardwalk Empire" star Paz de la Huerta here.)


AMY LOCANE . . . a.k.a. Sandy Harling on the original "Melrose Place" . . . has pleaded NOT GUILTY to aggravated manslaughter. Last June, she caused a car accident that killed a woman. The police detected alcohol on her breath. (Full Story)


Is it becoming a trend to have near-expletives in your show's name? First, it was "(Bleep) My Dad Says" . . . then there's ABC's upcoming show "Don't Trust the (B-word) in Apartment 23" . . . and the latest is: "My Frickin' Family". (Full Story)


Former "3rd Rock from the Sun" star JOHN LITHGOW will play NEIL PATRICK HARRIS' father on an episode of "How I Met Your Mother". There's no airdate, but it's expected to air "around the end of February." (Full Story)


A "Dallas" remake is still in the works at TNT . . . and JORDANA BREWSTER has joined the cast. It'll be about the kids of J.R. and Bobby Ewing. Former "Dallas" stars Patrick Duffy, Linda Gray and (maybe) Larry Hagman are expected to take part. (Full Story)


JOEL MADDEN hates the cover of GOOD CHARLOTTE'S greatest hits album, which was released without their input. He called it, quote, "the worst artwork ever. What a shame. Sony could have a least told us! We would have helped. I think?" (--You can see the cover, here.)

NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

People Who Have Morning Sex Are Happier and Healthier:

According to "shocking" new research, people who make time for morning sex are happier and healthier than people who don't. --Dr. Debby Herbenick is the author of the book "Because It Feels Good". She says morning sex makes you feel more upbeat for the rest of the day . . . strengthens your immune system . . . and improves the quality of your hair, skin, and nails. Here's why. --Banging when you wake up release the chemical oxytocin, which supposedly makes couples feel loving and bonded. It also increases levels of IgA, an antibody that protects against infection. --Finally, it releases chemicals that boost levels of oestrogen, which improve the tone and texture of skin and hair. And for guys, the testosterone they need has accumulated all night, so it's at peak levels for the first three hours of the day. (Daily Mail)


Are Women Today Losing Their "Female" Skills?

If you believe "The Courier Mail", women are in danger of losing their "female" skills. That's basically a sexist way to say that women today can't do the kinds of things in the kitchen and the garden that their moms and grandmothers did. For example . . . --Only 51% of girls under 30 can cook a pot roast, compared to 82% of the women who are baby boomers. Only 23% can grow a plant from a cutting, which 78% of their moms and grandmothers could do. --And only 40% of women under 30 can drive stick, compared to 71% of older women. At the same time: Over 70% say they take out the trash, 77% mow the lawn, and 70% wash the car. (Courier Mail)


Guys are More Forgiving of a Cheating Girlfriend if She Cheats with Another Woman:

You don't need more proof that guys apply rampant double standards when it games to dating and sex . . . but here you go anyway. --According to a new study in a scientific journal called "Personality and Individual Differences", guys are more forgiving of a girlfriend who CHEATS on them . . . as long as she cheats on them with another woman. --According to survey of 700 college kids, half of all guys would stick with their girlfriend after she admitted to a little girl-on-girl cheating. And 22% . . . or over one in five . . . would stick around if she cheated on them with another dude. --Jaime Confer and Mark Cloud are the psychologists who led the study, and they say, quote, "These findings are even more remarkable given that surveys show men have more negative attitudes toward homosexuality than women." --But it's actually not that remarkable. Especially when you consider WHY guys are so forgiving of girl-on-girl cheating. According to the study, quote, "Men may view a partner's homosexual affair as an opportunity to mate with more than one woman simultaneously." --In other words, guys are hoping it'll lead to a little threesome action. So they don't really consider it cheating in the first place. Not exactly shocking stuff. But here's what IS sort of interesting: It's the opposite for women. --Women are MORE likely to stay in the relationship if their guy cheats with a woman. That's what 28% of them said. And they're LESS likely to stay if he does it with another dude. That's what 21% said. --Not a huge difference, but clearly women aren't down with letting their man explore any deliciously gay tendencies he might have. Not that there's anything wrong with that . . . (The Register)


The Ten Cities with the Worst Commutes . . . And How Much it Costs You:

Sitting in traffic sucks for a lot of reasons . . . but it's also expensive. Something called the Texas Traffic Institute just released their Urban Mobility Report, and they break down the cost of traffic in 101 cities. --Basically, they looked at how many hours people sat in traffic jams in a given city . . . figured out how many of those commuters were driving cars or trucks . . . and calculated the average cost of wasted gasoline and time. --They found that the average commuter wastes $808 a year sitting in traffic. And it's about 40% more on average in large urban areas, where traffic costs you $1,166 per year in lost gas and time. --When it comes to the cost of 'lost time' . . . people who drive cars waste $16 an hour, and truck drivers waste $106 an hour. --Check out the ten worst cities, and what your yearly commute costs you in lost time and gas:

#1.) Chicago: $1,738 . . . 70 hours and 52 gallons of gas.

#2.) Washington, D.C.: $1,555 . . . 70 hours and 57 gallons.

#3.) Los Angeles: $1,464 . . . 63 hours and 50 gallons.

#4.) Houston: $1,322 . . . 58 hours and 52 gallons.

#5.) Baltimore: $1,218 . . . 50 hours and 43 gallons.

#6.) San Francisco: $1,112 . . . 49 hours and 39 gallons.

#7.) Boston: $1,112 . . . 48 hours and 36 gallons.

#8.) Dallas - Ft. Worth: $1,077 . . . 48 hours and 38 gallons.

#9.) Denver: $1,057 . . . 47 hours and 38 gallons.

#10.) Seattle: $1,056 . . . 44 hours and 35 gallons.

--Trucks obviously waste more gas than cars, so for some cities with equal amounts of traffic jam time . . . like Chicago and D.C. . . . the average cost of the traffic was higher in Chicago, because there were more trucks on the road. --And New York wasn't in the top ten, because the study looked at the whole New York area, not just Manhattan. --If you want to see how your city did, you can check out the interactive map here. (Yahoo Shine)


Website of the Day: The Snow Day Calculator:

If you're tired of waiting until the last minute to find out whether or not you have a snow day, we've got an awesome website for you. It's called the 'Snow Day Calculator.' --You enter your zip code, your type of school, the number of snow days you've had so far this year, the leniency of your school's administration, whether there's a special event the next day, and whether you're in a mountainous region. --There's also something where you enter the level of 'hype' for a snow day . . . meaning how much kids, teachers, administration, and the media are talking about a possible storm. Then click 'Calculate,' and the site grabs data from weather.gov. --The site was built by a 16-year-old 11th-grader in Watchung, New Jersey named David Sukhin (--pronounced SOO-kin). He came up with the algorithm when he was in the sixth grade . . . and he says it's never failed him once. (WBUR) (--Just Google "Snow Day Calculator" and you'll find the site.)


A Man Slashed Another Guy's Throat . . . For Hitting Him With a Snowball:

Look people, a lot of the country's buried under snow, and we're all sick of it. But that doesn't give you the right to LOSE YOUR EVER-LOVIN MIND over it. --Last Thursday morning in Lake Ridge, Virginia . . . about 40 minutes south of D.C. . . . 40-year-old Tyree Merle Alexander Man was working as a snow-shoveling contractor when he got hit by a snowball. --The 23-year-old who threw it hasn't been identified, but he was hanging out at a friend's house nearby. Unfortunately Tyree snapped . . . attacked the guy . . . and cut his throat with a box cutter. The victim was air-lifted to a hospital with life-threatening injuries, but he's expected to live. Tyree's been charged with "aggravated malicious wounding." (Washington Post)


A Suicide Bomber was Preparing the Cell Phone Trigger for a Homemade Bomb . . . And Received an Automated Text Message from Her Service Provider:

We don't have many opportunities to point out humorous stupidity when it comes to something deadly serious like the 'War on Terror.' Unless you count humorous stupidity like the phrase 'War on Terror.' Which is like declaring war on . . . war. --So we have to enjoy those opportunities when they DO arise . . . like this one. --Russian security forces are reporting a thwarted suicide bombing on New Year's Eve in Moscow's Red Square that could have killed hundreds. But it wasn't thwarted because of anything THEY did. --The female suicide bomber was in a safe house a few hours before the attack, preparing her homemade belt of explosives, and rigging the cell phone trigger. Bombers use phones so a handler watching from somewhere else can detonate the bomb. --Unfortunately for the bomber, she was using an ACTIVE cell phone with a current calling plan . . . instead of some sort of 'off-the-grid' terrorist cell phone, or whatever the hell they normally use. --So just when she had the whole thing set, her service provider sent her an automated 'Happy New Year' text message . . . detonated the bomb . . . and blew her up. --The woman hasn't been identified, but Russian authorities think she was part of the same radical Islamic group that bombed Moscow's airport last Monday. (Leader Post)
19% of Two-to-Five-Year-Olds Can Work a Smartphone . . . But Only 9% Can Tie Their Shoes:

There's a new study out that analyzes how two-to-five-year-olds around the world are doing in 'tech' skills versus 'life' skills. And depending on your point of view, kids today are either prepared for a brave new world . . . or our priorities are WAY off. --The technology company AVG polled 2,200 mothers who have Internet access and children aged two-to-five in the U.S., Canada, Europe, Australia, and Japan. Here's what they found. --19% of kids aged two-to-five know how to play with a smartphone application . . . but only 9% can tie their shoes. --25% can open a web browser . . . but only 20% can swim. --And more children aged two-to-three know how to play a 'basic' computer game than ride a bike . . . 44% versus 43%. --Naturally, the CEO of AVG . . . a guy named J.R. Smith . . . had this to say. Quote, "Technology has changed what it means to be a parent raising children today. --"As our research shows, parents need to start educating kids about navigating the online world safely at an earlier age than they might otherwise have thought." (Mobilized)


Jerk of the Day: A Woman Returned Her Rescue Dog Because He Clashed With Her Curtains:

All you dog lovers listening . . . prepare to see red. --Today's 'Jerk of the Day' award goes to an unnamed woman in Kent, in the southeast of England, who recently returned her rescue dog to the shelter she adopted him from . . . because he clashed with her curtains. --The woman is described as being in her late 40s, and she visited the kennel a few different times to select her dog. She finally settled on a three-and-a-half month old Jack Russell named Harvey, who'd been brought in as a stray. --She visited Harvey at the shelter SEVEN times before finally being allowed to take him home. But that same day, she called back in to report a serious problem . . . Harvey clashed with the expensive curtains in her lounge. --So the owners of the shelter . . . Barry and Corrina Shuttleworth . . . came up with an ingenious solution to the problem: They told the woman to put Harvey in a different room. --Apparently, it didn't work. Two days later, the woman came back to return Harvey, saying the curtains were just too expensive of a purchase, and Harvey had to go. --According to Barry, quote, "Some people just don't think about why they want a dog, and they need to . . . I would urge people to consider the implications of rehoming a dog before deciding on any action." (The Telegraph)


MEATBALL CRIMINALS

Police Arrested a Guy Who Pretended to Fall Down in Public . . . So He Could Grab Women From Behind and Press His Face Against Their Buttocks?

If this is true, there's something so pathetic about this next guy's fetish . . . and the ridiculous way he subjected women to it in public . . . that it's almost touching. Almost. --Last week, authorities in Seattle officially charged 46-year-old Duane Starkenburg for taking, quote, "indecent liberties." That's legal talk for being a suspected pervert. Here's what Duane supposedly did. --He'd hit up a local park in West Seattle . . . hang out and watch women jogging with their dogs . . . follow them and get behind them . . . then pretend to slip and fake-fall . . . all so he could press his face up against their buttocks. --Then he'd apologize and say it was an accident. He did it a couple times last year, in August and December, and then again last Tuesday, when he was finally arrested. In the December incident, the female jogger told the cops, quote, "His nose went up in my butt . . . I was very shocked." --After his arrest, Duane told the cops that he goes to the park every day to watch women run, since he likes to watch them, quote, "jiggle and bounce." And that, quote, "It's not like I drag the women into the bushes and rape them." --On Wednesday, Duane pleaded not guilty in the most recent incident, and he was released the next day after his parents posted his $150,000 bail. He wasn't charged in the two previous incidents. --After he got out, he told reporters that in his defense, quote, "I met a woman three years ago and fell in love with her. We've been together ever since. I have never even touched her once, without her coming out of the shower." (Seattle PI)


STUPID NEWS EXTRAS

A judge in Texas banned a woman from getting any more tattoos or plastic surgery . . . until she repays $15,000 in disability benefits she took illegally. (Full Story)


Dallas is supposedly suffering a stripper shortage. Club owners estimate they're 1,000 strippers short with all the extra demand for the Super Bowl. (Full Story)


A convicted murderer who escaped from prison has been caught . . . after abandoning his plan to go to Yellowstone National Park . . . overdose on heroin . . . and allow bears to eat him. (Full Story)


The guy who streaked at an Obama appearance for $1 million from a web site has received two years of probation instead. And the owner of the site says the guy didn't get close enough to the president, so he's not paying: (Full Story)


Get a head-start on Valentine's Day with a penis bone necklace. There's a jeweler who takes the penis bones of animals like foxes, raccoons and lynxes, and has them bronzed. And her name is . . . Eric Weiner. (Full Story)


NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) Check Out Katie Couric and Bryant Gumbel in 1994 Discussing a New Phenomenon Called "Internet":

You'd be hard-pressed to find somebody in America today who hasn't heard of the Internet. But in 1994, almost no one knew what it was, including KATIE COURIC and BRYANT GUMBEL. --Someone on YouTube posted footage of them discussing the Internet on the "Today" show in 1994, and they had absolutely NO IDEA what they were talking about. At one point, Bryant Gumbel said, quote, "Do you write to it, like mail?" (--Search for "Today Show 1994 What Is the Internet?")


#2.) A 10-Year-Old Girl Who's Mute Used Sign Language to Win Her School District Spelling Bee:

A 10-year-old girl in Richardson, Texas named Tanu won her school district spelling bee despite the fact that she's mute, which means she can hear but can't talk. --Each time she was up, Tanu listened to the word she had to spell, then spelled it in sign language and an interpreter said the letters out loud. (--Search for "Mute Girl Wins Spelling Bee")


#3.) A New Fake Promo for TLC Makes Fun of the Network for Not Airing Anything Educational:

A sketch comedy group in Canada posted a parody on YouTube making fun of The Learning Channel for only showing programs that AREN'T educational. The fake promo says to tune in for shows like "Dwarf Hoarders" and "Cake Whores".
(--Search for "Mostly Water TLC Promo")


#4.) A Guy Got Pulled Out of the Stands at a Basketball Game and Made a Crazy Dunk While Talking on His Cell Phone . . . But It Was Probably Staged:

This was almost definitely staged, but it's still cool: During halftime at a recent basketball game, the Washington Wizards let four fans try trick dunks using a trampoline. --The first three guys failed miserably, but the fourth guy did a front flip dunk WHILE talking on his cell phone. Then he took his shirt off and did a series of back-handsprings the whole way down the court.
(--Search YouTube for "Wizards G-Man Fan Dunk." The dunk starts at 1:39.)
Six Things You Should Always Negotiate the Price Of:

Most people think haggling is for street fairs and yard sales. But according to CBS Money Watch, you can get a better deal on a lot of things if you just ask. Here are six things you should always negotiate a better price for . . .

#1.) Credit Card Rates. After the economy tanked in 2008, and the credit card reform bill went into effect in February of last year, it was a lot harder to get a good rate on a new credit card. --But in the third quarter of last year, 1.2 billion credit card offers were mailed out, which is three times the number sent out in the third quarter of 2009. -And since there's more competition now, credit card companies are more likely to give you a better rate, because they want your business. All you have to do is say you have another offer at a lower rate, and ask them to beat it. --According to a study done a few years ago by the U.S. Public Interest Research Group, more than half of the people who ask for a lower rate get one. And their average APR drops from 16% to 10.5%.

#2.) Mortgage Rates. Mortgage lending is a lot harder than it used to be, so lenders are more willing to reduce certain fees, or even waive them completely. --So the best thing to do is compare the rates at a few different mortgage lenders, then ask each one to beat the best price you found. And you can spend less out-of-pocket money if you ask for discounts on all the fees they make you pay up front.

#3.) Home Improvements. According to the executive director of Consumer Reports, business is still slow for contractors, and they're willing to do more work for less money. --In a survey done last year, 80% of contractors said they were willing to lower their prices to get a job, compared to 43% in 2008. Of that 80%, half were willing to drop their prices by 10%, and almost one-quarter said they'd drop prices by 20%.

#4.) Major Appliances. According to a study by Consumer Reports, 75% of shoppers get a better deal if they negotiate the price on appliances, and the average savings is around $100 per appliance. --But don't go in the middle of the day when it's busy. If other customers can overhear you, the manager is less likely to offer a good deal because he'd have to offer it to everyone else who asked too. --And if they won't budge on the price, you can still negotiate a better deal by asking for free delivery.

#5.) Medical Tests and Procedures. The price varies depending on where you go. For example, a recent study revealed that having an MRI done on your knee in Washington D.C. costs between $400 and $1,500 depending on where you go. --And if you know what one hospital charges, you can use that to negotiate a better deal with another hospital. Sometimes, you can save 50%.

#6.) New Cars. Negotiating the price of a car isn't just acceptable, it's expected. And you can save over a thousand dollars on a new car if you do it right. --All you have to do is shop around and find the best deal you can, then ask dealerships to beat it. --And instead of negotiating down from the sticker price, ask what the INVOICE price is . . . which is the price the dealer paid for it . . . then negotiate UP. You can find the invoice price for most new cars at the website Edmunds.com. (CBSMoneyWatch.com)