Thursday, February 24, 2011



Lindsay Lohan Will Have to Go To Jail if She Cuts a Deal in Her Theft Case:

If LINDSAY LOHAN was hoping for mercy yesterday in her felony theft case, she left the courthouse sadly disappointed. --The judge told Lindsay that ANY deal in which she pleads guilty or no contest will result in JAIL TIME. And that's not negotiable. --Judge Keith Schwartz said, quote, "This case does involve jail time. Period. If you plead in front of me, if this case is resolved in front of me, you are going to jail. Period. --"Now there may be an issue as to the amount of time you go, of course . . . but if the case settles here, I don't want you under any apprehension. You will be going to jail." --He added, quote, "I don't want you to be a repeat offender in the system. I want you to get on with your life, I want you to reach whatever potential you have and move on and quit causing yourself, your family and anyone else around you additional stress." --Judge Schwartz also told Lindsay that if she settles the case with him, he'll make her get therapy and a reliable sponsor . . . someone outside her family who is, quote, "not moved by anything other than seeing that you succeed." --And he told her she's not getting any special treatment . . . quote, "You will be treated exactly the same as anyone else, no better, no worse. That's very important to me." --If Lindsay decides to fight the charges, the case will be heard by a different judge. --Lindsay will have to make that decision at her next hearing on March 10th. If she decides to fight the charge, a preliminary hearing will be scheduled. --Both of Lindsay's parents, MICHAEL and DINA LOHAN, were at yesterday's hearing. But not together, obviously. --In fact, E! Online says Michael gave Lindsay THE FINGER . . . although he later claimed he was making the sign of the cross as part of a prayer. --Michael also stuck around after the hearing to talk to reporters . . . and bash Dina a little bit. He said, quote, "I think the judge was fair. Dina and I can't seem to get on the same page. --"Lindsay is never going to get better if parents can't stop using children as pawns."

Charlie Sheen is in the Bahamas with Three Women:

CHARLIE SHEEN took off for the Bahamas on a private jet yesterday, and he had THREE WOMEN with him. --One of them was that girl he's been running around with lately . . . who's been identified as Natalie Kenly. Then there's mattress actress BREE OLSON. --And Charlie's third angel is his ex-wife BROOKE MUELLER. (???) Yes, Brooke is back in the picture. claims that she even moved back in with Charlie a few days ago . . . along with their twin boys and the nannies. --A source says, quote, "Her family is furious. They think this is the worst thing for her. Nothing good is coming of this. These two are terrible together." --We don't know exactly what the status of Brooke and Charlie's relationship is this time around. But we do know that there are no kids with them in the Bahamas. --But Brooke's dad says she's not in Charlie's house permanently. Just until Charlie buys the house he promised Brooke and the kids. (--We still don't know if DENISE RICHARDS is taking Charlie up on that offer.) --What everybody's going to wonder now is if Charlie is off the wagon again. And it sounds like he might be. A source says, quote, "Charlie is back to his old self, and that's not a good thing. So much for rehab at home. At this point, that's a joke." --Charlie is expected back on the set of "Two and a Half Men" on Tuesday.

Billy Ray Cyrus Says He Needs to Mend His Family Now:

After admitting to "GQ" that "Hannah Montana" destroyed his family, BILLY RAY CYRUS now tells "People" magazine that he has to build it back up. --He says, quote, "It is very important to me to work on mending my family right now." --Billy Ray says he didn't intend for his comments to be so "explosive", adding, quote, "My family is the most important thing I have, and we are working together to make sure our future is stronger and healthier." --Billy Ray has been spending time in Los Angeles with his wife TISH and their 11-year-old daughter Noah. --And he says, quote, "It is all a learning process, and we thank everyone for their support and respect of our privacy as we sort through very important family issues."

John Wayne Bobbitt Says His Wife Never Apologized for Cutting Off His Junk:

In 1993, JOHN WAYNE BOBBITT became a household name for the most wrong reason of them all . . . when his wife LORENA cut off his penis. She was later acquitted by reason of insanity. --Well, John was on "The View" yesterday to update us on his status. He says he never had any ill will toward Lorena . . . BUT he did note that he never got an apology from her. --John would also like you to know that everything still works fine. He said, quote, "We got some good doctors today." (--Here's video.)

24-Year-Old Crystal Harris Claims She Can't Keep Up With 84-Year-Old Hugh Hefner:

I love how 84-year-old HUGH HEFNER'S young girlfriends always pretend he's so virile and vital . . . even though we all know damn well they're just doing it for the cash. --Hugh's 24-year-old fiancée CRYSTAL HARRIS says, quote, "I have so much fun with him and it's hard for me to keep up with him. --"I mean, for my birthday I wanted to go bowling . . . and for his birthday he wanted to go to two different night clubs. So it's fun, we laugh. We have so much fun together. It's the best." (--In case you want to mark your calendar, "Us Weekly" says these two crazy kids are getting married June 18th.)

Keanu Reeves Has Been Named the Worst Actor in Hollywood History:

The website has put together a list of the 50 Worst Actors in Hollywood History. For the coveted #1 spot, they went with the obvious but durable choice: KEANU REEVES.

--Here's the Top 10 . . .

#1.) Keanu Reeves

#2.) Hayden Christensen

#3.) William Shatner

#4.) Orlando Bloom

#5.) Brendan Fraser

#6.) Hugh Grant

#7.) Paul Walker

#8.) David Arquette

#9.) David Caruso

#10.) Matthew Lillard

(--Check out the rest of the list here, which includes video clips of some of their terrible performances.)

Psychic Sylvia Brown Says Michael Jackson Is Enjoying the Afterlife and Princess Diana is Happy About Her Son's Marriage:

John Edwards isn't the only psychic who gets to cross over. SYLVIA BROWN was a semi-famous celebrity psychic long before John hit the scene. And she can talk to the dead, too. --In fact, she's spoken recently to both MICHAEL JACKSON and PRINCESS DIANA. And you'll be happy to know that things are pretty cool with both of them. --Michael is relieved not to be hounded and persecuted anymore. Sylvia says, quote, "He said that he was very maligned in this life, and he's not holding any grudges. --"He feels a definite unfairness because they accused him of so many things. You've got to realize that he was like a man in a 9-or-10-year-old's body. He felt more at home with children than people his own age. (--What an unfortunate slip of the tongue. I'm sure what Sylvia MEANT to say was Michael was "like a 9-or-10-year-old in a man's body", don't you think?) --"He's in a healthier body now. I can say that he probably never would have made it through those concerts he had planned before he died. He was sick." --Meanwhile, Diana approves of her son PRINCE WILLIAM'S upcoming wedding to KATE MIDDLETON. Sylvia says, quote, "She's thrilled. She thinks Kate is a wonderful person for William, because she has a tougher skin than she ever had. --Sylvia also has an update on BRITTANY MURPHY and her husband, SIMON MONJACK . . . who died just five months apart. --She says, quote, "Brittany initially said that she felt like she died prematurely, but then after that initial feeling she said she was really happy to be there [in the afterlife]. -"When he died, she was right there to greet him. They had a lovely reunion. What people don't realize is you meet up with people from other lives as well, not just your current one. Your relatives are there, your pets are there." --By the way . . . Sylvia says the biggest misconception people have about the afterlife is that THERE ISN'T ONE. She adds, quote, "And if people do imagine one, they imagine a place with clouds, or sitting on a cloud with a harp. --"That's really stupid. In actuality, the afterlife is three feet above our ground level. People keep looking up to the sky, which isn't correct. When people see "ghosts," they always say they're floating. --"They're not actually floating, they're walking on their own solid ground. It has libraries, it has record centers, it has concert halls, it has everything except the negativity."

Are Oprah Winfrey and Rosie O'Donnell Already Fighting?

ROSIE O'DONNELL hasn't even filmed her first show for the OWN network . . . but sources say she and OPRAH WINFREY are already at each other's throats. --The word is that Oprah wants Rosie's show to be warm and fuzzy, like her old talk show used to be back in the day. But that's not how Rosie sees it. --A source says, quote, "Oprah sees it as a friendly daytime talk show where viewers get to spend an hour with the old Rosie they used to love. --"Rosie, on the other hand, thinks the show should be more political and a place where she can express her liberal views." --They're also butting heads over an executive producer for the show. Oprah's got somebody in mind who she knows and trusts. But Rosie is worried that Oprah's guy would just spy on her . . . so she wants to pick her own staff. --The source adds, quote, "It's a bad way to start off, considering they haven't even taped a single show yet."

Check Out an Uncensored Trailer for "Bad Teacher":

An uncensored trailer for the raunchy comedy "Bad Teacher" hit the Internet yesterday. The movie stars CAMERON DIAZ as the title character . . . a pretty immoral woman who wants to snag a rich guy so she can quit working. --The guy she sets her sights on is a substitute teacher played by JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, who appears to have money. --The movie also stars JASON SEGEL and PHYLLIS SMITH, who plays Phyllis on "The Office". It comes out in June. (--Check out the trailer here. But BE WARNED . . . There's a ton of profanity.)

"The Bodyguard" Is Being Remade Again:

Warner Brothers is remaking its 1992 hit "The Bodyguard" . . . which starred KEVIN COSTNER as a bodyguard who falls in love with the singer he was hired to protect . . . played by WHITNEY HOUSTON. (--The film spawned one of Whitney's biggest hits, "I Will Always Love You".) --In this one, the bodyguard will be an Iraq War veteran. There's no word yet on casting.


Introducing: The Great "American Idol" / "X Factor" Facebook Race:

"American Idol" and SIMON COWELL'S "X Factor" won't only be competing for similar talent and viewers . . . they're also now competing to be the first competition show to have online voting through Facebook. --The "Hollywood Reporter" says Simon is working on a deal with Facebook that would allow them to have an online voting system in place for "X Factor's" first season, which premieres this fall. --Viewers would have the option of somehow voting on their own Facebook page, possibly through an "X Factor" application. Not every week though . . . Facebook voting would be reserved for the final rounds. --This is in addition to the phone and text voting, which would still be available. --But there's a chance it won't happen . . . if it's not possible for the "details and security issues" to be worked out in time. --"Idol" would premiere the following winter . . . which means they might have a little extra time to swoop in and do the Facebook thing first. --Maybe. The "Hollywood Reporter" says, quote, "there are not currently plans for Facebook to be involved with 'Idol'." --OK. But how's THIS for a second opinion . . . --"Entertainment Weekly" claims "Idol" IS chasing Facebook voting . . . and HAS been working on a system. In fact, they say "Idol" plans on making an announcement soon, and will debut Facebook voting soon. --Is that "soon" as in this season? No. It's "soon" as in . . . TUESDAY. --"Entertainment Weekly" says "Idol" has been working on this for a while now. Viewers will use their Facebook accounts to access a special "Idol" voting page. Fans will be able to vote 50 times during each voting period. (--Why 50? Why not 25 times? Or just allowing each person to vote 10 times? Does it matter in any way, other than to cater to FANATICS with too much time on their hands?) --There's been no official word on any of this. (--If you're forced to care about this Great "American Idol" / "X Factor" Facebook Race, who do you think is going to come out on top?) (--Or will they both lose out to Russia, which DOES have its own "X Factor".)

"Idol" Hopeful Casey Abrams Has Been Hospitalized . . . Will He Be Able to Continue?

"American Idol" contestant CASEY ABRAMS was "rushed" to the hospital late last night, after experiencing severe stomach pain. (--Casey is the guy with the bluesy voice, who looks like SETH ROGEN. Here's a video that lets you see their striking similarity. And here's video from his audition, in which he sings "I Don't Need No Doctor", ironically. He starts singing at the 1:30 mark.) --So-called "sources connected with the show" say he was rehearsing when he suddenly felt sick. There aren't any other details on his condition . . . so it's unclear how serious it is. --Casey is in the Top 24, and he's scheduled to tape a performance tomorrow. If he can't make it, there's a chance he could be eliminated from the competition. (--Which would be a tragedy. This guy is definitely a frontrunner.) (--Remember: This week's episodes were pre-recorded . . . so obviously his hospitalization won't affect anything on tonight's episode.)

Piers Morgan Confronted Larry King on CNN Last Night:

As expected, LARRY KING was on "Piers Morgan Tonight" last night, and not surprisingly, Piers did NOT pass up the opportunity to confront Larry about his recent criticism of his show. --Piers played a clip of Larry telling the BBC that he believed Piers, quote, "may have been oversold" to the public" . . . by saying he was "going to be dangerous, he was going to be water-cooler talk, it was 'wait till you see me, I'm different.'" --Then Piers said, quote, "We couldn't come in and undersell . . . I'm following a legend. I can't come in after [Frank] Sinatra in Vegas and say, 'By the way, this is not going to be very good.' --"I suppose I've always oversold myself. I quite like doing that. It's quite funny." --Piers said that he was "only kidding" when he promised to be dangerous . . . and Larry responded, quote, "Aha, British humor. I didn't get it. I'm from Brooklyn." (--You can watch a clip from the interview, here.)

Christine O'Donnell Was Offered a Spot on "Dancing with the Stars":

Tea Party member CHRISTINE O'DONNELL says she was offered a spot on the next season of "Dancing with the Stars" . . . and she's still mulling the offer. (--She's the former Senatorial candidate who, in 1999, told BILL MAHER she, quote, "dabbled into witchcraft, [but] never joined a coven.") (--She said she, quote, "hung around people who were doing these things" . . . and once went on a date that included "a little midnight picnic on a satanic altar." Here's the video. Christine begins talking at the 40-second mark.) (--In fairness to Christine, when she was running for the U.S. Senate, she appeared in an ad saying, "I am not a witch." It was somewhat reassuring.) --In a post on her Facebook page, Christine announces, quote, "FACEBOOK EXCLUSIVE: I just got the Official 'Ask' from 'Dancing with the Stars'!! --"Although I am utterly flattered, my initial thought was to decline, as [my] two-year-old nephew has more rhythm than me, and my two left feet!! . . . what do you think?" --As of last night, nearly 400 people had commented on the post, and almost 250 "liked" it. (--You can see her page, and the comments, here.) Christine will have to decide soon, ABC is revealing the cast next Monday during "The Bachelor".

Another "Deadliest Catch" Cast Member Is Dead:

"Deadliest Catch's" JUSTIN TENNISON . . . who was a crew member on the "Time Bandit" boat . . . was found dead in an Alaska hotel room on Tuesday. He was 33. (--The "Time Bandit" is the HILLSTRAND brothers' boat. Tennison served as an engineer and a deckhand. You'll find a photo of him here.) --There's no cause of death yet. There was some weed and a few bottles of alcohol in the room, but officials have not determined whether they played a role in his death. An autopsy was scheduled to happen yesterday. --Just a little over a year ago, "Deadliest Catch" star PHIL HARRIS . . . the captain of the "Cornelia Marie" . . . died after suffering a massive stroke. He was 53.
"American Idol" Took the Top Two Spots In the Ratings:

"American Idol" is back in the top two spots of the ratings with just over 23 million viewers for Wednesday's show and 22 million for Thursday's auditions. --The series premiere of "Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior" came in at #8. It was watched by 13 million people. Meanwhile the newest season of "Survivor" attracted 11 million people down at #15.

1.) Wednesday's "American Idol", Fox, 23.2 million viewers
2.) Thursday's "American Idol", Fox, 22.2 million viewers
3.) "NCIS", CBS, 19.4 million viewers

Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"American Idol" . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--The Top 20 semifinalists are revealed, and they're split evenly 10 guys and 10 girls.) (--We heard last month that one of the changes coming this season was that the finalists would NOT be split by gender and that they'd be selected solely on talent. But apparently that only applies to the Top 12, not the Top 20.)

--"Wipeout" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Family teams compete at the winter challenges Snow Blower, Ski Lift and Alpine Village, whatever that means.)

--"The Mentalist" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--After Agent Hightower is accused of being the one who set fire to that cop-killer earlier in the season, she escapes by putting a gun to Patrick's head and taking him hostage.)

--"Man vs. Wild" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Discovery. (--Survival expert Bear Grylls makes a wet suit out of dead seal skin in an episode near Scotland.)

--"Royal Pains" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on USA. (--Divya and Raj take dancing lessons to prepare for their wedding.)

Jack White Is Done Forming Bands:

A few years back, JACK WHITE was essentially in THREE bands at once: THE WHITE STRIPES, THE RACONTEURS and THE DEAD WEATHER. --Now, the White Stripes are done for good, and Jack says he's not interested in forming another band. Ever. --He tells "Q" magazine, quote, "I won't join another band again. Three's enough for one lifetime. If I can't say it in any of these bands, then I'll say it by myself." --Does this mean we may finally get a Jack White solo album? Maybe. --Aside from collaborating with other artists on individual songs, the closest Jack has come to a solo album was the "Cold Mountain" soundtrack in 2003. He contributed five songs to that. (--The Raconteurs haven't been active for a couple years now, and the status of The Dead Weather is up in the air. They released their second album last May.) (--Actually, it had sounded like Jack initially planned on doing another White Stripes album this year . . . before they abruptly announced that they were over earlier this month.)

Justin Bieber Doesn't Care What You Think of His Haircut:

JUSTIN BIEBER nearly jolted the Earth out of its orbit earlier this week, when he suddenly cut his hair . . . a little. I don't dare to check, but the result is no doubt STILL sending aftershocks through Twitter. --But Justin says he doesn't care what you think of his haircut . . . (--and the attitude it apparently came with.) --On "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" yesterday, Justin gave Ellen some locks of his hair . . . and asked her to auction it off, and donate the proceeds to charity. --When she asked what he thought of the response to his haircut, he said, quote, "I was like, 'I don't really care.'" He also joked that his haircut was "inspired" by Ellen's. (--Here's video of Justin showing off his new haircut on "Ellen", and giving her a box of his hair. Ellen is donating the money to an organization called The Gentle Barn, which is an animal charity.) --Meanwhile, Justin's hairstylist Vanessa tells "People", quote, "Cutting your hair is just part of the evolution and growing process for anyone, and I think he was just ready. We've been talking about it over the last 6 months or so . . . more or less." --She adds that Justin's hair is, quote, "like silk . . . he has very, very soft hair. I hope it stays that way forever." (--Wow . . . the fact that she's his hairstylist is the ONLY thing keeping me from being totally creeped-out. And even then, it's a very tenuous situation.)
Justin Bieber Has the New #1 Album in the Country:

Just one new album debuted in the Top 10 this week . . . JUSTIN BIEBER'S "Never Say Never: The Remixes", which sold 161,000 copies to top the chart.

1.) (NEW) "Never Say Never: The Remixes", Justin Bieber (161,000 copies)
2.) "Sigh No More", Mumford & Sons (133,000 copies)
3.) "Now That's What I Call Music! Vol. 37" (95,000 copies)

Mariah Carey Allowed Herself to Be Rented By Libyan Dictator Moammar Gadhafi . . . for a Performance:

WikiLeaks' latest unearthed scandal involves . . . MARIAH CAREY. --According to some "diplomatic cables" that the site recently released, Libyan dictator Moammar Gadhafi offered Mariah $1 MILLION for a private concert in 2009, and she agreed. --Technically, it was Gadhafi's son who paid the bill, and it went down at a private party on the Caribbean island of St. Barts, not in Libya. --That's some hard money to turn down . . . especially since she only had to perform FOUR songs, which means she was paid a quarter-million per song. (--I wish WikiLeaks could reveal the set-list. Can you imagine how FURIOUS they'd be if they paid her $250,000 to perform "Touch My Body"?) --And it's not like performers are refusing these invitations. The family had another party in St. Barts last year, and had BEYONCÉ and USHER on the bill. Supposedly, that also came with a $1 million price tag. (--It's unclear if Beyoncé and Usher split that, or if they each got $1 million.) (--Should celebrities turn down offers like this, when they come from PSYCHOS like the Gadhafis? Would YOU be able to turn down a cool million from ANYONE? Discuss.)

Soulja Boy Wants to Make a Big Splash in Hollywood . . . By Appearing in a Movie Directed By Nick Cannon:

SOULJA BOY wants to branch off and launch a MOVIE career . . . which is SHOCKING, I know . . . and he has his plan of action all figured out. --He wants to be selective, and make sure he chooses the perfect debut role . . . to maximize his impact on Hollywood. --Soulja explains, quote, "I really wanna break into Hollywood. I really wanna do the correct first film and make an impression on a lot of people so they can come holla at me and wanna put me in their movies. --"Doing music [is] my first love, but I always had a passion for acting 'cause I feel like I come out natural on the camera. In the future I got a couple plans." --So what's he thinkin'? SPIKE LEE? MARTIN SCORSESE? Hell, MICHAEL BAY? No . . . try NICK CANNON, who hasn't even directed a theatrical movie before. --Soulja says, quote, "I've been talking to Nick Cannon, who is directing this film I'm supposed to be starring in, and I think that'll be a good look . . . but I just gotta pick the right film and kill the part. --"I mean, my first movie that I would get into, I'd like for it to be a comedy / romance. Something with me and a female, like a girlfriend, and we fall in love and have problems or something like that and it just be funny at the same time." (--Sounds unique.


Check out a picture of "Sports Illustrated" swimsuit issue cover girl IRINA SHAYK with HAIRY LEGS. (Full Story)

Private pictures that OLIVIA WILDE'S soon-to-be ex-husband took of her mysteriously found their way onto the web. Sadly, there's no nudity . . . but some of them are kinda sexy. (Full Story)

Pregnant "Real Housewives of Atlanta" minx KIM ZOLCIAK posed for "Life & Style" magazine . . . in her underwear. (Full Story)

More than a decade and a half after he presided over the O.J. SIMPSON murder trial, JUDGE LANCE ITO remains a celebrity. And we know this because people still keep stealing the nameplate from his office door. (Full Story)

A website called says that RICKY GERVAIS is worth $80 million. (Full Story)

KELLY OSBOURNE is modeling for the clothing line owned by MADONNA and her daughter LOURDES . . . and she looks GOOD. (Full Story)

On today's "Oprah", DAVID ARQUETTE tells her that he stole pot from his dad at the age of 8, and started drinking seriously when he was 12. Also, he decided to enter rehab last month after his sister PATRICIA and wife COURTENEY COX staged an intervention for him. (Full Story)

SUSAN SARANDON wears a bracelet made of her kids' old baby teeth. (Full Story)

Is production on "The Hobbit" being delayed again? (Full Story)

CEE-LO, ADAM LEVINE from MAROON 5 and CHRISTINA AGUILERA may end up judging a new NBC singing competition called "The Voice". In this one, the judges don't get to see what the contestants look like when they audition. CARSON DALY will host. (Full Story)

The FOO FIGHTERS have unleashed a new single called "Rope". It rocks. (Song)



People Are More Likely To Show Up To Work On Time As the Economy Goes Down:

This might not be the best way to build morale, but if you want your employees to show up on time, it's easy. Make sure they know that they'll be FIRED if they're late . . . and they'll never be able to find another job. --According to a survey by CareerBuilder, when the economy got worse, punctuality got a LOT better. And now it seems we're more in the HABIT of being on time than ever. --In 2008, about 20% of workers said they showed up late to work at least once a week. In 2009, that was down to 16%. And in 2010, it dropped to 15%. --The number one reason people give for being late is traffic. Hitting the snooze button and sleeping a little extra is number two. --Weather is the number three reason . . . a delay in dropping off the kids at daycare or school is number four. --One out of three employers surveyed said they've FIRED someone for being late. (PR Newswire)

And Now, Three Completely Random Facts About Microwaves, Beer, and Why Sarah Palin's Kids Have Strange Names:

#1.) Even though this seems IMPOSSIBLE in 2011 . . . 5% of American households don't have microwaves. It's true. I'm not sure exactly what they're doing without them . . . but they're microwave-free. --In 1971, 40 years ago, less than 1% of households in the U.S. had microwaves. (

#2.) We know Russia is a hard-drinkin' country, but we didn't know they were THIS hard. Until Tuesday, beer was not classified as an alcoholic product in Russia . . . because it wasn't alcoholic enough to count. They used to call it a FOOD. --Now, the Russian parliament has finally acknowledged that beer gets you drunk, just the same as vodka. One in five male deaths in Russia are caused by alcohol. (Time)

#3.) A new study out of San Diego State University has figured out why SARAH PALIN'S kids all seem to have untraditional names, like Trig and Bristol. They found that in "frontier" states like Alaska, parents choose less common baby names. --In older states, like the original 13 on the East Coast, parents tend to choose more popular and established baby names. So if Palin was from Massachusetts, her kids might be named Thomas and Barbara. (Gawker)
Two High School Teachers Fired for Having Lesbian Sex at School Are Suing For $2 Million:

Back in November of 2009, 30-year-old Alini Brito and 34-year-old Cindy Mauro were teachers at James Madison High School in Brooklyn, New York. Alini was a Spanish teacher, Cindy was a French teacher. --During a student talent show, they ducked out and went to a classroom together. --That's where a janitor said he found them . . . having a LESBIAN SEX PARTY. He said he found Alini topless and Cindy fully naked, kneeling down, performing on her. -Both Alini and Cindy were fired. --They claim the entire thing was the janitor's imagination running wild. They say that Alini's diabetes was acting up, and Cindy was helping give her candy and sugar. The janitor swears he saw what he saw. --Anyway, Cindy and Alini just filed a lawsuit against New York City for $2 MILLION for wrongful termination. --Their lawyer says, quote, "They've had to deal with these false allegations of engaging in lesbian sex. It's been painful. Aside from losing their jobs, their reputations have been ruined." (New York Daily News)

Meet the 96-Year-Old British Prostitute Who Still Pulls In $80,000 Every Year:

Now that the great JACK LALANNE is gone, I think we've found the new icon for elderly fitness. Although the way she stays in shape is a little different than Jack's. --Milly Cooper of London, England, is 96 years old. And even at that age, she's still going to work every day. Where she works as a PROSTITUTE. --Milly says she started working as a prostitute after her husband died during the war. Which war? WORLD WAR TWO. That was 1945. --She has had relations with at least 3,500 men and has regulars who range anywhere from 29 years old to 92 years old. --They pay up to $1,300 per session . . . and she says she still pulls in $80,000 every year. --How is she so successful at 96? Quote, "Nowadays, the girls have vast boobs and skinny bodies and parade around half-naked. In my day, we would call those girls 'trollops.' The industry's become mucky. --"At least I am maintaining standards. I always dress elegantly and my clients are gentlemen." ( (--Unfortunately, no photos of Milly have been released with the story.)

Photo of the Day: A Man's Arrest Record Has His Religion Listed As "Redneck":

We know that being a REDNECK is a way of life. There are four million hi-larious JEFF FOXWORTHY jokes to prove it. But for some people, it's clearly more than that. --On Sunday, 20-year-old Joshua Lee Joehlin of Texas was busted by the police in Bradenton, Florida for an unspecified lewd and lascivious act with a minor. --And when they asked for his religion, he told them "REDNECK." --Here's a photo of Joehlin . . . and a copy of the part of the police report where the cops actually filled in "redneck" under religion. (The Smoking Gun) (--Check out the photos here.)

Caltech's Basketball Team Just Ended a 26-Year, 310-Game Losing Streak!

Caltech . . . in Pasadena, California . . . is an amazing school. It has fewer than 1,000 undergraduate students a year, but has churned out 31 Nobel Prize winners and some of the best science and engineering minds in the history of America. --What it's not good at . . . is sports. Believe it or not. Caltech doesn't give out athletic scholarships, so anyone who plays on their basketball team has to get into the school the hard way . . . by being a super genius-slash-gigantic nerd. --But they have a Division Three basketball team. They're part of the Southern California Intercollegiate Athletic Conference. And Caltech holds quite a record. --They had a 26-YEAR, THREE HUNDRED AND TEN-game losing streak in the conference. They hadn't won a game against another SCIAC team since January 23rd, 1985. Until Tuesday. --On Tuesday night, the Caltech Beavers beat their SCIAC rivals, Occidental College, 46-to-45 in their final game of the season to snap the streak. (--Yes, the same Occidental College that PRESIDENT OBAMA went to.) --Besides owning the worst CONFERENCE record in history, Caltech is also the NCAA record holder for the worst losing streak in general. In 2007, they snapped a 207-game losing streak by beating Bard College of New York. (USA Today (--Here's ESPN's coverage of Caltech breaking the streak.)

A Man Survives a Shooting When The Bullet Deflects Off His Gold Tooth:

Sure, it looks absolutely ridiculous when someone fills their mouth with gold on one of those grillz. But today . . . GRILLZ SAVE LIVES. --Earlier this month, 22-year-old Walter Davis was sitting in his girlfriend's car, smoking reefer. Turns out that reefer belonged to his 22-year-old brother, Waltdell Davis. --When Waltdell got home and found his stash was missing, he started yelling at Walter. It escalated, and Waltdell pulled a GUN on his brother. They struggled for it, and in the process the gun went off. --The bullet hit Walter in the mouth. And who knows what kind of damage it might've caused . . . if it hadn't hit one of Walter's sweet GOLD TEETH. --The bullet ricocheted off one of Walter's gold teeth, grazed his upper lip, and fell to the ground. Walter was hospitalized, but he just had minor cuts on his lip. --Dr. Robert Kelly is a professor of dental medicine, and he says it makes sense that a solid gold tooth would stop a bullet. Quote, "With a low caliber, the right angle, I don't think it's unlikely." Walter's gold tooth survived the impact. --Walter declined to press charges after the shooting . . . but the police found out that Waltdell was on parole, so they arrested him. --He also admitted to shooting his brother, so he was charged with aggravated battery and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon. (New Orleans Times-Picayune)

The Most Germ-Infested Parts of an Airplane Include the Bathroom, the Pillows, the Blankets . . . and the SkyMall Catalog:

Here's some spring travel advice from the people at "USA Today": Next time you're on an airplane, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING. Or it will kill you. --They put together this list of the most germ-infested parts of an airplane . . . you know, just to make your air travel experience somehow LESS pleasant than it already is.

#1.) The bathroom. There are germs on basically every surface, usually including E. coli. The bathrooms don't get a full sanitizing between most flights, and the small sink makes it hard for people to properly wash their hands.

#2.) The tap water. Make sure to ONLY drink bottled water on the plane. Studies have shown that airplane water filtration techniques still aren't perfect, so you run the risk of drinking some Mexico-quality water.

#3.) The free pillows and blankets. Sometimes the airlines will have time to change the pillowcases. But sometimes they won't. --And since about 5% of airline passengers tend to be sick, there IS a chance you'll get a pillow that just got drooled on by a sick person.

#4.) The SkyMall catalog. Yes, even the beloved SkyMall catalog is trying to kill you, while it sells you useless lawn ornaments and iPod docks shaped like '50s diner jukeboxes. People touch the catalog with their germ-filled hands all the time. (USA Today)


A Convenience Store In Pennsylvania Was Robbed By . . . A Mummy?

Someone get BRENDAN FRASER on the phone, because the MUMMY is back and causing trouble. --On Monday afternoon, the mummy robbed a convenience store in Pennsylvania. --We can't confirm that it's an actual mummy. It MAY have just been a guy with cloth or gauze wrapped around his face as a disguise. But it just as easily COULD have been a real mummy. --The police say the mummy walked into the Exxon Buy N' Fly in Herminie, Pennsylvania at about 3:00 P.M. on Monday, armed with a HATCHET. He demanded money. --The cashier gave him an undisclosed amount. --Police are still searching for the mummy. He's been described as 5-foot-5 to 5-foot-9, between 130 and 150 pounds, white, wearing a red hooded sweatshirt, and missing several teeth. (CBS 2 - Pittsburgh) (--Here's a photo of the mummy from the surveillance camera.)

After Hitting a Pedestrian, A Man Drives Off . . . Then Calls His Insurance Company To Report It, They Tell Him To Go Back To the Scene, And He Does:

On Sunday, 57-year-old Leopoldo Tobilla of San Bruno, California was driving on Highway 35 in Pacifica, California when he hit a pedestrian. --So Tobilla freaked out and fled the scene. -But his car sustained some damage, so in a moment of incredible stupidity . . . or a sudden sense of remorse . . . he decided to call his INSURANCE COMPANY to report what had happened. --When he told them he'd just hit a man and driven off, they told him he should go back to the scene. He listened to them, drove back, and the cops investigating promptly arrested him. --The pedestrian was 25-year-old Scott Garrigan. Garrigan died from the crash, but since he'd walked out into the middle of the highway without using a crosswalk, the accident was his fault. --If Tobilla hadn't fled the scene, he might've avoided any charges. But because he took off . . . and then came back . . . he was hit with a felony hit-and-run charge. (San Francisco Examiner)
A Man Is Arrested for Stealing a Chainsaw By Shoving It Down His Pants:

21-year-old Anthony Black of Chickasha, Oklahoma is THE very definition of a stupid criminal. Because crimes are rarely more high risk, low reward than this. --Anthony was at a hardware store in Chickasha and he was eyeing an Echo-brand 18-inch chainsaw. And he decided to steal it by . . . shoving the chainsaw down his pants. --Yes, the entire chainsaw was shoved down his pants . . . inches away from his junk. If he'd accidentally turned it on . . . wow. --Employees saw Anthony, quote, "waddling" out of the store. At first they thought he was handicapped. Then, on closer inspection, they saw there was something really strange about the front of his pants. --An employee told reporters, quote, "I seen the bar between his legs. It was pretty obvious. Imagine it in the front of your pants." --As he limped away, the store called the police. Anthony ended up running away, at which point he ditched the chainsaw and jumped headfirst into a creek. The police fished him out of the shallow water and arrested him. --The chainsaw was returned to the store. (MSNBC)


Male drivers are more likely to be involved in, quote, "tragic massive accidents." They're also more likely to honk, gesture rudely, and verbally abuse other drivers.
(Full Story)

59% of us say that knowing the exact number of partners your significant other has had is important. And 33% of us have lied to our significant other to make that number smaller. (Full Story)

A stepfather in Ohio sent his 15-year-old son a nude photo of the kid's mother . . . because they're going through a messy divorce. And the text read, quote, "Here is your mom, how do you like this." (Full Story)

A new study says the best time for working out is . . . before breakfast, on an empty stomach. (Full Story)

Wait . . . now drinking diet soda makes you GAIN weight? (Full Story)

Girls are more likely than guys to "like" and "friend" social causes on Facebook. 41% of girls do it, compared to 27% of guys. (Full Story)

A theater in Delaware was fined $80,000 for racist behavior after they told the audience at a Tyler Perry movie to turn off their cell phones, using a "condescending tone." But the fine was overturned by the Delaware Supreme Court. (Full Story)


#1.) A 16-Year-Old Boy on "Romania's Got Talent" Shocked the Judges When He Started Singing . . . And Had the Voice of a Female Opera Star:

Romania has its own version of "America's Got Talent" now. And on the first episode last week, a 16-year-old boy shocked the judges when he opened his mouth, and the voice of a female opera singer came out. --When you watch the video, it almost seems like they dubbed in a woman's voice. But it's legit. (--Search for "Romania's Got Talent Narcis" He starts singing at 1:18.)

#2.) None of the Contestants on Last Night's "Wheel of Fortune" Had Ever Heard of Auckland, New Zealand:

Auckland . . . the largest city in New Zealand . . . was one of the puzzles on last night's "Wheel of Fortune". And this just goes to show how bad Americans are with geography: --None of the three contestants had ever heard of Auckland, and they had to fill in every single letter of the puzzle before one of them got it right. With only two blank letters left, one of them guessed "Archland". --And to make matters worse, PAT SAJAK made fun of them and explained that Auckland is the CAPITAL of New Zealand . . . which it's not. Wellington is. (--Wellington is the country's third-largest city. The second-largest is Christchurch, where that 6.3 earthquake struck earlier this week.) (--Search for "Wheel of Fortune Auckland New Zealand." The guy gets it right at 1:02.)

#3.) What Would It Be Like If IBM's Watson Competed on "American Idol"?

IBM's supercomputer WATSON dominated on "Jeopardy" . . . but how would he do on "American Idol"? --Well, there's a new parody video on YouTube of Watson auditioning with the song "Bohemian Rhapsody" . . . and the judges love him. (--Search for "IBM's Watson on American Idol." He starts singing at 1:09.)

#4.) Did Someone Really Make a Feature Film Starring Double Rainbow Guy and Antoine Dodson?

Several news sites are saying this is real, but no one seems to know for sure: There's a new trailer on YouTube for a feature-length film starring Double Rainbow Guy and the Bed Intruder guy, and a bunch of other YouTube "stars." --One scene shows them in an epic battle, like a budget version of something you'd see in "Lord of the Rings". And the trailer ends with Double Rainbow Guy warning everyone that "the world is coming to an end". --The movie . . . if there really is one . . . is called "The Chronicles of Rick Roll".

#5.) Mike Tyson and Leonard Maltin Discussed Their Oscar Picks on

The Academy Awards are this weekend, and has a new video of LEONARD MALTIN and MIKE TYSON discussing their Oscar picks. --It starts with Tyson saying "Avatar" should win best picture, and HALLE BERRY should win best actress. But "Avatar" came out in 2009, and Halle isn't nominated. --And Mike also says that after he saw "The Social Network", he signed up for "Friendster". Then he complains that his made-up movie called "The Pigeon Whisperer" didn't get nominated. (--WARNING: This video includes several S-words and other profanity.) (--Search for "Oscar Talk with Leonard Maltin and Mike Tyson.")

Four Common Myths About Your Eyesight:

As you age, your eyes usually get worse, and people do all kinds of things to prevent it, including annoying eye exercises that don't actually work. Here is the truth about four common eyesight myths.

#1.) Reading in Dim Light Will Make Your Vision Worse. Your vision depends on the shape of your eyes, how healthy the tissues are, and a bunch of other factors. But reading in dim light isn't one of them. -It makes your eyes feel TIRED more quickly, but doesn't affect your actual eyesight.

#2.) Eating Carrots Will Improve Your Vision. Carrots have vitamin A, which is good for your eyes but doesn't actually make you SEE better -And dark green vegetables are a better choice anyway, because they have more antioxidants, including vitamin C and E, which help protect your eyes from cataracts and macular degeneration.

#3.) You Shouldn't Wear Your Glasses All the Time, Because Your Eyes Need to Rest. This one's just completely untrue. Wearing your glasses won't weaken your vision or lead to eye disease. -But when you take them off, your eyes tire more quickly because they have to strain to see. -On the other hand, if you leave your CONTACTS in too long, your eyes might not get enough oxygen, which can cause temporary blurred vision. Plus, it promotes growth of bacteria and increases your risk of an eye infection.

#4.) Staring at a TV or Computer Screen All Day Hurts Your Vision. Once again, it makes your eyes tired, but doesn't affect your actual eyesight. --To prevent them from getting tired, make sure there isn't a glare on the screen, which strains your eyes even more. And concentrate on blinking as much as possible, which helps your eyes stay lubricated. (


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