Wednesday, March 2, 2011



Charlie Sheen's Kids Were Taken From His Home Last Night:

For the record, CHARLIE SHEEN did NOT win last night. Police came to his house and removed his twin sons, Bob and Max. (--They'll be 2 years old in about two weeks.)--A judge ordered that the boys be taken from Charlie's custody after their mom, BROOKE MUELLER, asked for custody. According to TMZ, her request alleged that Charlie had recently made death threats against her. --Charlie told NBC News, quote, "This is not the America I grew up in." And he told, quote, "My fangs are dripping tiger blood." --And on his new Twitter account, Charlie said, quote, "My sons' are fine... My path is now clear... Defeat is not an option..!" (--Yes, Charlie Sheen can now WIN in 140 characters or less! You can follow him at!/charliesheen. If you're typing the address in and have trouble seeing the Tweets, just click this link.) --Earlier in the day, Brooke had won a restraining order to keep Charlie 100 yards away from her.

Charlie Sheen Just Keeps Winning:

The bulk of ABC's interview with CHARLIE SHEEN aired last night on "20/20". Frankly, we've already heard most of the good stuff. But here are a few new gems . . . --Not surprisingly, Charlie made more references to WINNING. --Speaking about life with his twin boys and his two "goddesses", he said, quote, "It's perfect. It's awesome. Every day is just filled with just wins. All we do is put wins in the record books. --"We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it's scary. People say it's lonely at the top, but I sure like the view." (--On a side note: You know that list they put out at the end of every year with words that need to be BANNED because they're overused? I predict "winning" will be on that list at the end of this year.) --As for his goddesses . . . porno star BREE OLSON . . . (--real name: Rachel Oberlin) . . . and model NATALIE KENLY . . . Charlie said, quote, "It's a polygamy story. All my guy friends are gonna like throw tomatoes at me. It's like an organic union of the hearts." --Charlie also called HUGH HEFNER an "amateur" . . . and said he won't get married again. (--He's already made The Big Mistake three times.)

What Are the Sleeping Arrangements in Charlie Sheen's House?

In an interview yesterday . . . (--On "The Howard Stern Show") . . . CHARLIE SHEEN finally answered the question we've all been asking: What are his sleeping arrangements with his two "goddesses"? --You might be surprised to learn that they don't all sleep in one giant bed. Charlie says, quote, "We are adults and we realize that three in a bed is like, we are all not seven." --There are two beds in the room, and the three of them have what Charlie calls a TWO-ONE SWITCH-OFF. --He says, quote, "They will take a separate bed and then I have to choose." --Elsewhere in the interview, Charlie says he's basically DONE giving interviews . . . and he says he believes his "Two and a Half Men" co-star, JON CRYER, is, quote, "behind me 100%." --He also said the show's creator, CHUCK LORRE, just wants to quit, and he's using Charlie as his fall guy. He added, quote, "He's not gonna do it. His tactics are silly and juvenile and the work of an amateur. --"I think the real solution is if [CBS President Les Moonves] would just fire him, put me back on and everybody wins."

CBS President Les Moonves Wants "Two and a Half Men" Back:

CBS President Les Moonves has finally broken his silence about the CHARLIE SHEEN chaos. He says, quote, "[He's] on the air quite a bit these days. I wish he would have worked this hard to promote himself for an Emmy." --Moonves says he'd like "Two and a Half Men" to come back. But he adds that canceling the rest of the season isn't really that big of a tragedy. --He says, quote, "Short-term, financially it is actually a gainer for us. Repeats obviously get somewhat less revenue than the originals. It is a show that repeats very well. Doing eight [fewer] originals saves us quite a bit of money." --But he adds, quote, "I'm not saying long-term I want this to go on. Going down the road I don't know what's going to happen. I hope it's back. We'll see."

Brooke Mueller Wants Custody of the Twins:

CHARLIE SHEEN'S ex-wife Brooke Mueller went to the POLICE yesterday to see if she could get custody of their twin sons. Obviously, she's worried about the kids living in that house with Charlie and his "goddesses". --Unfortunately, she went to police in Beverly Hills, and Charlie doesn't live in Beverly Hills. So they don't have jurisdiction. Plus, they can't go against Charlie and Brooke's custody agreement just because she wants them to. --Brooke did get a restraining order against Charlie, though. It requires him to stay 100 yards away from her.
Slash Says Charlie Sheen is "The Most Rock N' Roll Character In Entertainment Today":

If we've learned anything over the past week or so, it's that CHARLIE SHEEN parties harder than ANYONE. I'm pretty sure there are no exceptions. --And check this out: Even SLASH is in awe of Charlie's TIGER BLOOD AND ADONIS DNA. --He says, quote, "I love Charlie. Charlie is probably the most rock n' roll character in entertainment today. All things considered, he's been having a little bit of a hard time recently with all the bad press and everything. --"But he's been managing to get away with what he's been doing on that show and get a raise over the last more than ten years. I think that's pretty cool." (--Here's video.)

Charlie Sheen Is Still Ratings Gold:

CHARLIE SHEEN just keeps on WINNING in the ratings. A repeat of "Two and a Half Men" was the most-watched show on TV Monday night, with 11.6 million viewers.

Christina Aguilera Was Arrested for Public Intoxication . . . But She's Not In Any Trouble:

Apparently, "winning" is contagious in Hollywood . . . because CHRISTINA AGUILERA was arrested for public intoxication early Tuesday morning . . . and her boyfriend, Matthew Rutler, got popped for DUI. --Here's what happened: Matthew got pulled over at about 2:45 A.M. Tuesday, after cops witnessed him driving erratically. Christina was in the passenger seat, and they were both legally drunk. --Matthew just BARELY missed the legal limit. His blood-alcohol level was .09%. --We don't know how drunk Christina was, but a spokesman for the L.A. County Sheriff's Department said she couldn't stand up on her own, she didn't know where she was and she didn't know her own address. (--According to her booking sheet, Christina is 5-foot-2 and 100 pounds. But something tells me they just ASKED Christina for her weight and didn't use a scale. Not that I'm judging. I'm just calling it as I see it.) --Matthew is probably in serious trouble, but Christina is not. In fact, they really only booked her to give her a chance to sober up. She was released at about 7:30 A.M. . . . and Matthew left a few hours later, after posting $5,000 bail. --In a press conference yesterday, the sheriff's spokesman said, quote, "We have no desire to prosecute, none whatsoever. It's just a public safety issue. --"When she was able to navigate and to think on her own and make her own way, she was released." --He added, quote, "She was not capable of taking care of herself. She was incapacitated. She was cooperative. She was not belligerent in any way whatsoever. She was just intoxicated. --"As she got better, she just said, 'I would like to leave.'" (--Here's video of the spokesman talking to reporters.) --Witnesses say that before the arrest, Christina and Matthew had a late dinner at Osteria Mozza . . . an L.A. restaurant owned by celebrity chef MARIO BATALI. And they knocked back at least one expensive bottle of wine . . . maybe even two. (--It was a VERY late dinner. They didn't even get their entrees until after midnight.) --The tabloids have been running stories about how Christina is a DRUNKEN MESS since she and husband Jordan Bratman split last October. Her family is reportedly trying to get her into rehab. --And while we don't know if Christina was drinking either night, everyone keeps pointing out how she flubbed the national anthem at the Super Bowl, and how she almost wiped out during the tribute to Aretha Franklin at the Grammys. --Rutler was a set assistant on Christina's movie, "Burlesque" . . . and they started being seen together not long after her separation from Bratman. Friends think he's been a bad influence on her.

Pink Laughs About the Fact That She Was Supposed to Be More Trouble Than Britney and Christina:

Back in the day, there were three up-and-coming pop princesses: CHRISTINA AGUILERA, BRITNEY SPEARS and PINK. Remember which one was supposed to be the bad girl? Yeah, Pink's having a laugh about that now. --She Tweeted, quote, "Out of Myself, Britney and Christina - didn't everyone think I was gonna be the troublemaker? LOOK MA!!! NO CUFFS!"
Olivia Wilde . . . Is Ryan Gosling Dattin' That?

Newly-single OLIVIA WILDE was spotted at an aquarium in Cincinnati with "Notebook" star RYAN GOSLING. Ryan is in Cincinnati because he's filming a movie. Olivia is not. --Olivia and Ryan were also spotted getting close at an Oscar after-party. (--You can see a picture of that here.)

Oscar Fallout - #1: Samuel Jackson Is Upset There Were So Few Black People at the Oscars:

Leading into the Oscars, there were complaints that no black people were up for any major awards. And now that the ceremony is over, SAMUEL JACKSON is complaining that there were hardly any black people involved AT ALL. --He says, quote, "Where were the black actors? I guess they didn't think we were available to read teleprompters that night . . . not a big deal, hopefully it'll get better . . . it won't happen again. --"We work in town . . . they know who we are, they know we're available to be on that show to represent the people of color who are in the business in town." --HALLE BERRY, OPRAH WINFREY and JENNIFER HUDSON got some stage-time during the show, but there were no black male presenters. Jackson says, quote, "Hopefully they won't make that mistake again." (--Here's video.) (--If my memory serves, the only black guy in the whole show was MORGAN FREEMAN . . . who was just used as a narrator for ALEC BALDWIN'S dream in the opening segment.)

Oscar Fallout - #2: James Franco Was Not Stoned During the Oscars . . . and He and Anne Hathaway Don't Hate Each Other:

For some reason, the entire world went DOG NUTS over how HORRIBLE JAMES FRANCO and ANNE HATHAWAY were at the Oscars Sunday night. (--Were they really that bad? Honestly?) --One of the criticisms that James Franco is facing is that he looked and acted STONED. --Well, despite the great job he did PLAYING a stoner in "The Pineapple Express", we've heard before that James doesn't do the Charlie Sheen brand of "winning". --And his rep is backing that up. He says, quote, "James does not drink or do drugs ever." The truth is, he was EXHAUSTED because he had been going to school during the week and flying to L.A. for rehearsals on the weekends. --By the time of the ceremony, James was, quote, "going on 20-hour days four days in a row." --Meanwhile, there's a story going around that James and Anne HATE EACH OTHER now. Supposedly, Anne resented James because he was just phoning in his performance, while she had to do all the heavy lifting. --But Anne's rep says, quote, "Anne adores James and had a wonderful time hosting the Oscars with him."

Liam Neeson Thinks the "A-Team" Movie Failed In America Because It Came Out Right After the World Cup Started . . . ?

LIAM NEESON is cool. And even though it probably shouldn't, his transition to a late-in-life action star totally works. (--"Taken" was the bomb. I will accept no argument on that point.) --But this guy has a CHARLIE SHEEN-sized delusion when it comes to his "A-Team" movie. As you may recall, that one pretty much tanked at the U.S. box office. And Liam has a pretty interesting excuse. --He says, quote, "I thought it was a really good movie, you know? And I thought it would've done much, much better at the box office in America, but the studio released it the day after the World Cup started. --"And I think that probably affected the overall performance of the film." (--For those of you who are a little slow on the uptake, what Liam is saying is that America was so into the World Cup that they couldn't tear themselves away from the action long enough to see his movie.) (--This might be a sweeping generalization that I have no way of proving . . . but I'd be willing to bet a few bucks that there's maybe a 4% crossover between World Cup fans and "A-Team" fans. Max. Sorry, Qui-Gon.)

Leonardo DiCaprio Will Kiss Armie Hammer in the J. Edgar Hoover Biopic:

LEONARDO DICAPRIO plays J. EDGAR HOOVER, the secretly-kinky first director of the FBI, in a movie directed by CLINT EASTWOOD. --ARMIE HAMMER from "The Social Network" is playing Clyde Tolson. He was Hoover's protégé at the FBI . . . and his alleged LOVER.
-Obviously, everybody's wondering if there will be any man-on-man hijinx between Leo and Armie. And the answer is A MOST FABULOUS YES! --Screenwriter Dustin Lance Black says, quote, "Yes, certainly there's a relationship between these two guys. And it wouldn't be a Dustin Lance Black script if it didn't have a little gay kissing in it. So the answer is yes." --He adds, quote, "Those who want to see that will be pleased. I think it's done in a very tender way, surprisingly." --Black wouldn't reveal whether or not Leo would be seen onscreen taking part in Hoover's other favorite pastime, CROSS-DRESSING.
"AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY's Odds for the Top 24 to Win "American Idol" This Year:

Now that "American Idol" has trimmed this year's contestant pool to 24, has put out their odds on each one to win the whole thing. --Obviously, we're still a long way from the finale . . . and America hasn't even voted anyone out yet . . . so all the odds are still a little loose at this point. --That being said, they gave LAUREN ALAINA the top line at 13-to-2 . . . and they have RACHEL ZEVITA, TA-TYNISA WILSON, and BRETT LOEWENSTERN tied as the longshots at 40-to-1. Here's Bodog's complete ranking:

--Lauren Alaina, 13/2 . . . or 6.5-to-1

--Casey Abrams, 7/1

--Julie Zorrilla, 15/2 . . . or 7.5-to-1

--Paul McDonald, 15/2 . . . or 7.5-to-1 (--I wouldn't have guessed that he'd be the top-rated guy.)

--Pia Toscano, 8/1

--Scotty McCreery, 11/1

--Tim Halperin, 12/1

--Jacob Lusk, 14/1

--Kendra Chantelle, 16/1

--Robbie Rosen, 18/1

--Karen Rodriguez, 18/1

--James Durbin, 20/1 (--He was pretty impressive last night, for what it's worth.)

--Stefano Langone, 20/1

--Lauren Turner, 22/1

--Jovany Barreto, 25/1

--Thia Megia, 25/1

--Haley Reinhart, 28/1

--Naima Adedapo, 28/1

--Clint Jun Gamboa, 35/1

--Jordan Dorsey, 35/1

--Ashthon Jones, 35/1

--Ta-Tynisa Wilson, 40/1

--Rachel Zevita, 40/1

--Brett Loewenstern, 40/1
(--Connect the names to faces, here. You'll find's "Idol" listings here, but if it's closed for betting you may need to click "All Events" to see it.)
And Now . . .'s Odds for "Dancing with the Stars", Plus the Partnerships Have Been Revealed: has (also) put out their early lines on "Dancing with the Stars", even though the cast was just revealed Monday night. --The best odds were given to KENDRA WILKINSON . . . with PETRA NEMCOVA being the long shot. (--Tso Petra was able to tsurvive a freakin' tsunami in 2004, but she can't handle "Dancing with the Tstars"? Is this adding up to you?)

--Here's Bodog's complete ranking . . . along with each star's professional partner, which ABC just announced last night.

--Kendra Wilkinson and Louis van Amstel, 3/1

--Ralph Macchio and Karina Smirnoff, 7/2 . . . or 3.5/1

--Chelsea Kane and Mark Ballas, 4/1

--Romeo and Chelsie Hightower, 11/2 . . . or 5.5/1

--Hines Ward and Kym Johnson, 11/2 . . . or 5.5/1

--Sugar Ray Leonard and Anna Trebunskaya, 6/1

--Wendy Williams and Tony Dovolani, 7/1

--Kirstie Alley and Maksim Chmerkovskiy, 8/1

--Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke, 10/1

--"Psycho" Mike Catherwood and Lacey Schwimmer, 12/1

--Petra Nemcova and Dmitry Chaplin, 14/1

Kirstie Alley Is Doing "Dancing with the Stars" to . . . You Guessed It:

KIRSTIE ALLEY is doing "Dancing with the Stars" this season, after previously saying that she was, quote, "too chicken" to do it. Obviously, she changed her mind. And I'll give you four choices for why that may be: --One, she wants to improve her dancing skills. Two, she wants to meet a man. Three, she's hoping to raise her profile again. Or four, she wants to lose weight. --Yup, that's right . . . --Kirstie says, quote, "I've lost 60 pounds [so far] . . . and I have 30 or 40 more to go. And I think with this strenuous, rigorous dance schedule, I think it's going to work. It's exciting."

38 Million People Watched Sunday's Oscars:

Sunday night's Oscar broadcast was watched by 37.9 million people, easily making it last week's most-watched show. But that's down a bit from last year's Oscars numbers, when 42 million tuned in. --The Red Carpet special took second with 26.6 million viewers, and "American Idol" was third with 22.7 million.

Wednesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"American Idol" [Performance Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox. (--The top 12 female contestants perform.)

--"Survivor: Redemption Island" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Matt and Francesca face off in the first duel on Redemption Island. The winner continues living alone on the island, in the hopes of eventually returning to the game. The loser is gone for good.)

--"Dog the Bounty Hunter" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on A&E. (--Dog helps a fellow bondsman in Wyoming capture a fugitive who is also a survivalist and likely armed.)

--"Great Performances" . . . 9:30 to 11:00 P.M. on PBS. (--Harry Connick Jr. performs in New York.)

--"Hot in Cleveland" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TV Land. (--Jane Leeves meets a guy at her therapist's office and "borrows" his file to learn more about him.)

--"I Used To Be Fat" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV.

--"Hoarding: Buried Alive" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TLC.

Aretha Franklin Is Talking About the Pain She Suffered . . . But Not the Condition That Caused It:

ARETHA FRANKLIN . . . the Queen of both Soul and Dope Winter Hats . . . is finally talking about her hospitalization back in December. --On today's "Wendy Williams Show", Aretha says that she had a pain in her side that "nearly brought her to her knees." And that it, quote, "was my first inkling that something was wrong, that something wasn't what it should be." --So at the drop of a hat, she says she told herself, quote, "The concerts are over. I have to go and find out what is wrong." --But apparently Aretha wants to keep that diagnosis under her hat. --At one point, Wendy says: "In December, we all found out that you were having abdominal surgery," and Aretha responds, quote, "Hmm . . . is that what you heard?" --And apparently that's that. According to previews of the episode, Aretha doesn't address her condition, or talk about rumors she was battling pancreatic cancer. (--You can watch this clip, here. Sadly, Aretha did NOT wear her awesome hat. But Wendy, God Bless Her, did try to coax her into it by wearing an over-the-top headband, with a giant bow-like poof.)

Is Poison Opening for Motley Crue or Co-Headlining the Tour? Well, It Might Depend Who You Ask:

MOTLEY CRUE and POISON confirmed earlier this week that they're touring together . . . but they couldn't go ONE DAY without having a disagreement. On paper, at least. --Here's the issue: --Poison's press release said that they were "co-headlining" the tour with Motley Crue. --But Motley Crue's statement told a different story. It said the Crue is headlining . . . with, quote, "support from Poison and special guest, the NEW YORK DOLLS." --Whatever the case, tour dates were announced yesterday. --And assuming this little press release discrepancy doesn't devolve into an all-out war that puts the brakes on the whole thing, it'll start with both bands playing the Rocklahoma festival in Pryor, Oklahoma, on May 29th. --Then the tour begins on June 7th in Dallas. (--You can check out the full itinerary at

Liam Gallagher Apparently Wants Beef with Radiohead:

When OASIS was still Oasis, they had feuds with a TON of artists . . . including BLUR, FRANZ FERDINAND, the KAISER CHIEFS and JAY-Z. --And now that LIAM GALLAGHER is trying to drum up some attention for his new band BEADY EYE, he's apparently trying to provoke RADIOHEAD. --Liam gave a "review" of Radiohead's new album, "The King of Limbs", in a new interview with --He said, quote, "I heard that (effing) Radiohead record and I just go, 'What?!' I like to think that what we do, we do (effing) well. Them writing a song about a (effing) tree? Give me a (effing) break! A thousand year old tree? Go (eff) yourself! --"You'd have thought he'd have written a song about a modern tree or one that was planted last week. You know what I mean?" (???)
Tom Hanks' White Rapper Son Isn't Concerned About Being a Rapper . . . Who's White:

TOM HANKS' 20-year-old son CHESTER is a wannabe rapper, who's going by the name CHET HAZE. And he's facing a steep uphill battle to rap credibility. --In addition to being the son of Forrest Gump . . . and white . . . Chet Haze's crib is currently located at Northwestern University, which isn't exactly known for being a tough hood. (--Unless you consider a school of Ivy League rejects intimidating.) --But Chet doesn't think any of that will actually affect his career in hip-hop. --He says, quote, "See man, the stereotypes, what they really come from is, I'm a white kid from the suburbs, from a well-to-do family, and that's about the last thing your average middle American thinks about when he thinks about hip-hop. --"There's just a lot of cliches out there. People associate hip-hop and the music of hip-hop with being from the hood and being gangster. That's a portion. --"Hip-hop is something more than white and black. Hip-hop is not only music, but a culture. And if it speaks to you, then it speaks to you. Hip-hop has spoken to me since I was a little kid. --"No matter where you're from or who you are, if the music and the culture speaks to you, it's gonna have an effect on you. That's what's happened to me. It's something I love and it's something I do."

Rascal Flatts Is In the Studio with Lionel Richie . . . and Michael Bolton:

I think RASCAL FLATTS are in some sort of "experimental" stage . . . because they've been working with all kinds of different artists. You may recall last December when they recorded a duet with JUSTIN BIEBER. --And now, according to Tweets from bassist JAY DEMARCUS, they're writing music with MICHAEL BOLTON . . . and recording a song with LIONEL RICHIE. --Here's what Jay DeMarcus Tweeted yesterday, quote, "Me and Lionel. Working on 'Dancing On The Ceiling'." And then in another Tweet he wrote, quote, "That's right . . . The Flatts and Michael Bolton! Writing a tune formula new record!" --I'm pretty sure "tune formula new record" is a typo. Maybe it was "tune for a new record."? Or a "formula tune for a new record."? --Jay did not mention if they plan to record the song they're writing with Bolton . . . but oh how wondrous that would be. We also don't know if these songs will show up on the next Rascal Flatts album. (--Here are a couple of photos of Rascal Flatts in the studio with Lionel Richie and Michael Bolton.)


This is kind of ironic. MARTIN SHEEN once did a PSA about mental illness. (Full Story)

MELISSA GILBERT and BRUCE BOXLEITNER are getting divorced after 16 years of marriage. (Full Story)

KATIE HOLMES is suing the "Star" tabloid for $50 million over a story that insinuated she has a drug problem. (Full Story)

LINDSAY LOHAN told "Extra" that she doesn't want to be known for her offscreen antics anymore. (Full Story)

COREY HAIM'S mother is PISSED that he was left out of the Oscar death montage. (Full Story)

On Oscar night, 77-year-old JOAN COLLINS had to be rushed to the hospital because she felt faint and queasy. Why? Because her dress was too tight. (Full Story)

MARK WAHLBERG says there will be a sequel to "The Fighter". (Full Story)

Former "Dharma and Greg" star JENNA ELFMAN will star on an upcoming ABC sitcom called "Bad Mom". She'll play a single mother who had her mom taking care of her kids . . . but now she's being forced to do her own parenting. (Full Story)

Former "My Name Is Earl" star, drunk driver and tax cheat JAIME PRESSLY has landed a role in an upcoming Fox sitcom called "I Hate My Teenage Daughter". (Full Story)

A 3-foot-9 actor named Mark Povinelli has been cast in the NBC sitcom based on CHELSEA HANDLER'S book, "Are You There Vodka? It's Me Chelsea". He'll be playing a barback named Todd. (Full Story)

TRAVIS BARKER talked to "Rolling Stone" about his road to recovery and his motivation to continue playing music after nearly dying in that plane crash back in 2008. (Full Story)

Dreamy NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK stud JORDAN KNIGHT has released a single called "Let's Go Higher". It'll be on his next album, "Unfinished", which will be out May 3rd. (Audio)

DIDDY has announced a 20-date tour. It kicks off next month. (Full Story)

SLAYER singer TOM ARAYA says he's feeling much better after being hospitalized in Australia. He plans on performing in Melbourne this weekend. Tom's wife says he was suffering from "vertigo due to extreme dehydration and lack of rest." (Full Story)

The reunited SYSTEM OF A DOWN has announced seven North American shows. The tour begins in May. (Full Story)


The Key To a Strong Relationship Is . . . Believing Your Partner Is a Living God or Goddess:

According to a new study out of the University of Buffalo, the key to a strong, happy relationship is simple. --Just put your partner on a pedestal and WORSHIP them like the god or goddess that they are. --In the study, they found that people who are, quote, "unrealistically idealistic" about their partners report much higher levels of satisfaction in the marriage. --Which runs contrary to what you'd think, because usually, thinking someone's perfect is unrealistic . . . and eventually leads to utter disappointment. --But the researchers found that's really not the case. When you see your partner in the best possible light, it makes you happier, and makes any problems seem like they're not as big a deal. --Dr. Sandra Murray led the study. She says, quote, "I wouldn't argue that people are deluding themselves. Rather, people are seeing their partners through an optimistic, idealistic lens." (Toronto Globe and Mail)

About One in Ten Single Women Say That If They Lost One Dress Size, They'd Celebrate By Having a One-Night Stand:

Normally, we like to encourage our lovely ladies to CHUB UP. We know that chubbiness is next to sexiness . . . which is next to godliness. But this is one case where, yeah, losing weight might help you out. --According to a new survey by Slim-Fast, about one out of 10 single women aged 18 to 34 say that if they lost a dress size . . . which is about 10 pounds . . . they'd celebrate by having a ONE-NIGHT STAND. --Here are some more results from the survey . . .

--45% of women say they'd never have another sip of alcohol if it meant they would never gain another pound.

--35% would completely give up coffee if it meant they'd never gain a pound. They were least likely to give up chocolate . . . only 29% would give it up to not gain a pound. (--Anyone else see the irony there?)

--Only 5% of women say they'd give up their BEST FRIEND to never gain another pound.

--And, in a strangely-worded question, 59% of women said they'd have sex every day if it helped them keep their weight down. (--So . . . the survey makers think women don't want sex then? It's a chore or something? That's sad.)

--40% of women said having to get into a bathing suit is their biggest inspiration for wanting to lose weight. 33% said a New Year's resolution is their motivator . . . 25% said weddings . . . and 20% said a high school reunion. (PR Newswire)

The Best Time To Make Really Important Life Decisions Is . . . When You Feel Like You Bladder's About To Burst?

This is just sheer scientific brilliance. A researcher at the University of Twente in the Netherlands says he's figured out the BEST time to make really important life decisions. And it is . . . when your bladder feels like it's about to burst. --Mirjam Tuk found that when people were almost in PAIN because they needed to go to the bathroom, the self-control it took not to PEE THEIR PANTS also spread around the brain . . . and led to smarter, more controlled decisions. --So he says if you're trying to pick some investments, or make major career decisions, or anything else that requires your most rational, controlled thought . . . chug a bunch of water, wait 30 minutes, THEN make the choice. (Vancouver Sun)

Congratulations Missouri . . . For the First Time Since 2003, You're Not the Meth Capital of the U.S.:

Ever since 2003, one state has stood out above the rest as the Meth Capital of the United States. And that state is . . . Missouri. -But that has finally changed. As the numbers are coming in for 2010, Missouri did NOT have the most meth labs. Nope . . . TENNESSEE has now taken over as the Meth Capital of the U.S. --Tennessee had 2,082 meth lab incidents in 2010, up 41% from 2009. That beat out Missouri's 1,960 meth lab incidents. Most other states haven't released their data yet, so there's a chance Tennessee's reign could be a short one. (AP)

Half of Americans Hide Something In Their Underwear Drawer:

If you think you're being SMOOTH by hiding something in your underwear drawer . . . rolls of money, naked pictures of your ex, your 30-year-old stash of Quaaludes, whatever . . . people are on to you. --Because a LOT of people have that same hiding place. According to a new survey, 50% of Americans say they hide something in their sock or underwear drawer.

--Here are some more findings from the survey . . .

--The average person says they wear about 70% of the underwear they own, or seven out of every 10 pairs.

--More than one in five people hang on to one lonely sock, hoping the other one turns up.

--Men are most likely to hoard old clothes because of NOSTALGIA . . . like they'll hang onto their high school football T-shirt until they're middle-aged.

--Women are most likely to hoard old clothes because they're afraid they won't have something to wear on laundry day. (PR Newswire)

A High School In Texas Doesn't Want a Gay-Straight Alliance Club . . . So They Shut Down All Their Extracurricular Clubs:

It never ceases to amaze me how far some people will go to push their anti-gay agenda. Although it does make it all the more sweet when they inevitably get caught in an all-male gangbang in a public restroom. --At Flour Bluff High School in Corpus Christi, Texas, a student wanted to start a club called the Gay-Straight Alliance. The club's intention is to, quote, "build that bridge of tolerance and unity amongst students." --The higher-ups in the Flour Bluff Intermediate School District REALLY didn't want the club. -But they had a problem. Under the Equal Access Act of 1984, schools that receive federal funding are required to offer, quote, "fair opportunities for students to form groups, regardless of their religious, political, and philosophical leanings." --So finally the school district came up with a solution: They banned ALL extracurricular clubs at school. That way, they don't have to allow the gay-oriented club. --In a statement, the superintendant said they've cancelled all clubs, quote, "To be fair and equitable to all." (


A Girlfriend Unfriends Her Boyfriend On Facebook . . . And They Both Wind Up In Jail After Beating Each Other Up:

We're seeing more and more of these stories lately, so listen up: What you do on Facebook isn't a GAME anymore. People take that stupid site seriously. --On Saturday, 31-year-old Tina Cash of Marathon, Florida UNFRIENDED her boyfriend, 35-year-old Thomas Gannon, and switched her relationship status to single. --Thomas confronted her, they argued . . . then started taking SWINGS at each other. Then they started throwing stuff at each other, and Tina ended up hitting Thomas in the face with a picture frame. --When the police arrived, Thomas was outside and Tina was inside. Both of them were arrested and charged with misdemeanor domestic battery. --As of today, Tina's Facebook page shows she has 221 friends . . . and Thomas is NOT one of them. (The Smoking Gun)

Two Passengers Are Arrested After Their Friend Gets Pulled Over for a DUI . . . And They Start Smoking Reefer In the Car:

These guys are not exactly poster children for the whole "marijuana isn't addictive" movement. --On Sunday, Vermont state troopers pulled over a car for driving erratically. The driver was 30-year-old Scott Patterson of Highgate, Vermont . . . and the police had him get out of the car to perform some sobriety tests. --When he got out, two of his passengers decided THAT would be a good opportunity to SMOKE SOME REEFER. --So 30-year-old Kris Richards and 31-year-old Jason Beyor of St. Albans, Vermont lit up a joint and started smoking . . . less than 20 feet away from the state troopers. --One of the troopers walked back over to the car and saw the guys smoking. So Kris and Jason were also arrested. --Meanwhile, Scott's blood alcohol was 0.187, more than double the legal limit, so he got a DUI. Kris and Jason were hit with marijuana possession charges. (Burlington Free Press)

Three Idiots Stole a Police Radio and Made a Fake "Officer Down" Report . . . But the Real Police Tracked Them Down Using a Beef Jerky Wrapper:

If there's one crime where you're pretty much GUARANTEED to get caught, it's one where you pull a PRANK on the cops themselves. Which is exactly what these idiots did. -In Lake County, Florida, three guys stole a POLICE RADIO out of a sheriff's deputy's trunk. And they decided to call in a fake police report of . . . quote, "Shots fired. Officer down. Officer down." --The dispatchers panicked at first . . . but then realized the call was a fake. The sheriff's deputy was off duty and his radio wasn't supposed to be out. --Then the thieves called in another fake report, saying a robbery was in progress, and they'd caught a guy, saying quote, "he stole my sunglasses right off my head." --At that point, the Sheriff's Office responded, quote, "To the gentleman who stole our portable and is talking on the radio, be advised that you are in violation of the state statute." --Police investigated the car where the radio was stolen, then set their BLOODHOUND loose. He picked up the thieves' scent from a beef jerky bag, and tracked them to a CVS store. --Police watched the surveillance tape and spotted the thieves. 19-year-old Keith Burdeshaw, 21-year-old Corey Cox, and 19-year-old Dallace Hatley were arrested for burglary, grand theft, and unlawful transmission on a police frequency. (Orlando Sentinel)

Did One Couple Really Shoplift $5 Million Worth of Grocery Store Merchandise . . . One Shampoo Bottle and Pack of Razors At a Time?

There are two ways to steal $5 MILLION. You can run an "Ocean's 11" type heist where a small team of super-criminals hits a casino vault and steals $5 MILLION at once . . . or you can steal five million things that cost $1. --A couple in Portland, Oregon went with option B. --52-year-old Richard Remington and 32-year-old Angela Evans were arrested for allegedly shoplifting $5 MILLION worth of merchandise from Safeway grocery stores. And they did it very slowly, very patiently, and very systematically. --For five years, they'd shoplift small-but-valuable items. Things like shampoo, razor blades, Rogaine, and batteries. And they made off with about $400,000 worth of stuff a year. --Finally, in November, Safeway started catching on to them . . . and installed a tracker on their van. Whenever it would show up at a Safeway, security guards would watch the couple on video surveillance. --And it was shocking. For the two months they watched them, the couple hit different Safeways a total of 103 times . . . meaning they were hitting more than one store every single day. --There's no word on how they sold the stuff they shoplifted. --Both of them were arrested and charged with organized retail theft and multiple counts of first-degree theft. (Time)

A Woman Is Robbed By a Man Who Stopped To Help Her Change a Flat Tire:

Earlier this week, 29-year-old Nichole Miller of Fort Myers, Florida blew a tire on Interstate 75 and pulled over to fix it. As she was taking the spare tire and the jack out of her truck, a man pulled up behind her. --He was 25-year-old Cody Ridgeway, and he offered to help fix the tire. --So he walked over, helped lift the jack out of Nichole's trunk . . . and then PUNCHED HER IN THE FACE. Then he grabbed her purse off her shoulder, got back in his truck, and took off. --Nichole called the police. They pulled Cody over and Nichole identified him. -They also found the contents of Nichole's purse, which was $600 in cash, some credit cards, a cell phone, and 200 oxycodone pills. --Cody was arrested and charged with robbery. --There's no word on whether the cops are investigating why Nichole had 200 oxycodone pills in her purse. (NBC 2 - Fort Myers)

80% of high school students admit to lying to their parents in the past year about, quote, "something significant." 59% cheated on a test, and 27% stole from a store. (Full Story)

After living 55 years without an anus, a Chinese farmer has finally received an artificial one. Because of a birth defect, he had to squeeze his excrement out of a surgical hole that was half-a-centimeter wide. But it didn't prevent him getting married and having kids. (Full Story)

An empowered woman is a smoking woman! In countries where women have low rates of empowerment . . . like China, Pakistan, and Saudi Arabia . . . men are five times more likely to smoke. But in countries with high female empowerment . . . like the U.S., Canada, and Australia . . . women smoke as much as men do. (Full Story)

A bunch of Congressmen went up against the IBM "Jeopardy" supercomputer 'Watson' in a trivia contest . . . and one of them won! New Jersey Democrat Rush Holt won by $2,400. It probably helped that he's a five-time "Jeopardy" champion and a nuclear physicist. (Full Story)

A guy on rollerblades tried to rob a deli in Brooklyn with a BB gun, and took $100 from the register . . . but customers locked the front door and he couldn't roll out. (Full Story)

An 81-year-old in the dementia unit of a New Jersey nursing home tried to hit his 72-year-old roommate with a TV . . . but the roommate fought back with a wastebasket, hit him in the head, and killed him. It's been ruled a homicide. (Full Story)


#1.) Here's a Two-Minute Montage of Charlie Sheen's Best Lines So Far:

If you can't get enough CHARLIE SHEEN, "The Huffington Post" put together a great two-minute montage of Charlie's best lines from the past week. The video's called "Charlie Sheen in His Own Words".

#2.) A Band Turned Charlie Sheen's Crazy Quotes Into a Soft Rock Song:

A band called APOLLO RUN took some of the crazy lines CHARLIE SHEEN has cranked out in the past week, and turned them into an original song called "Charlie Sheen Has Tiger Blood, Man". You can check out the video on YouTube. (--WARNING: This video includes the p-word meaning 'kitty' at 2:57.)

#3.) Here's a Baby Laughing . . . Because His Dad Ripped Up a Rejection Letter:

A guy in St. Louis got a job rejection letter in the mail, so he ripped it in half . . . and his 10-month-old son thought it was hilarious. --So the guy grabbed his camera . . . along with some credit card statements . . . and went to town. The video of the baby cracking up while the guy rips up financial papers is now approaching one million views on YouTube. --ALYSSA MILANO gave it a big boost when she Tweeted the video last Friday. (--Search for "Baby Laughing Hysterically at Ripping Paper." The kid really gets going around :22, and the dad does four rips in a row at 1:23.)
#4.) Someone Made a Parody of Volkswagen's Darth Vader Super Bowl Ad . . . That Features a Toyota With a Sticky Gas Pedal:

Remember the Volkswagen Super Bowl ad that showed a little kid in a Darth Vader costume trying to use "the force"? At the end, his dad hit a button on the keys from inside the house so the kid thought HE started the car. --Well, someone posted a new parody of it on YouTube that makes fun of Toyota for recalling more cars because of acceleration problems. --In the parody, the kid actually HAS the force . . . but when the car turns on, he can't stop it from running him over. (--Search for "Volkswagen The Force Toyota Parody")

Five Myths About Living Longer That Have Just Been Debunked:

There's a new book out called "The Longevity Project", about a 90-year-long study on what makes people live longer, healthier lives. And some of the results are pretty surprising. --According to the study, here are five things people THINK make them live longer . . . but don't.

Myth #1.) Stay Optimistic. In the study, kids who were described as "extraordinarily cheerful and optimistic" were LESS likely to live to an old age. --But being cynical and pessimistic wasn't good either. The people who lived the longest were the ones who felt satisfied with life, but also had enough drive to accomplish things.

Myth #2.) Gardening and Walking Aren't Enough to Keep You Healthy. According to government guidelines, you're supposed to get 30 minutes of moderate exercise at least four times a week. --But that doesn't mean you have to go jogging. The study found that middle-aged people were more likely to live a long life if they stayed active doing something they ENJOYED. And walking or gardening for 30 minutes was enough. --Jogging and going to the gym works too, but most people don't stick with it as they get older.

Myth #3.) Being Too Serious Is Bad for You. In the study, people who were carefree about life in general didn't live as long, because they didn't do as many things to protect their health. And they also engaged in riskier activities. --The people who lived the longest were responsible, persistent, detail-oriented, well-organized, and sometimes obsessive.

Myth #4.) Working Long Hours at the Office Is Killing You. Constant stress isn't good for your health. But apparently, being promoted IS. The subjects in the study who experienced the most career success also lived the longest. --And the ones who moved from job to job without gaining more responsibility were more likely to die young.

Myth #5.) Marriage Makes You Live Longer. It's only half true. The researchers found that women can live just as long if they NEVER get married, as long as they have an active social life. --But single MEN weren't so lucky. They outlived the guys who got married MORE than once. But the guys who lived longest were the ones who stayed married to the same woman their entire lives. (USA Today)


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