HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (09-20-11)
Britney Spears is Engaged . . . In Her New Video:
Turns out BRITNEY SPEARS is engaged . . . in her new video. --Britney is currently shooting the video for "Criminal" in London, and it starts off with her engaged to some dude. --But the guy gets abusive with her at a party, so another man . . . played by Britney's real-life boyfriend Jason Trawick . . . punches him out. Then Britney and Jason go on a crime spree together. (--Check out some pics from the set here.) (Daily Mail)
SHEEN-ANIGANS - 1 of 3
Charlie Sheen's Character on "Two and a Half Men" Was Indeed Hit by a Train:
Did you catch ASHTON KUTCHER'S debut on "Two and a Half Men" last night? Was it everything you hoped it would be? --Just like we'd heard, CHARLIE SHEEN'S character fell . . . or more likely was PUSHED . . . in front of a train in Paris. --At his closed-casket funeral, Charlie's girlfriend Rose . . . the one who probably pushed him . . . said his body, quote, "just exploded like a balloon full of meat." (--Technically . . . and I'm rooting for this personally . . . you never see Charlie's body. So MAYBE, if someday Charlie and CHUCK LORRE can make nice, Charlie's character could make a surprise reappearance, alive and well. There have been stranger plot twists.) --Charlie's death was dealt with pretty quickly . . . and rather brutally. At his funeral, several of his ex-girlfriends . . . including JENNY MCCARTHY and JERI RYAN . . . talked about all the rotten things he did, like give them STDs and whatnot. --In a later scene, JOHN STAMOS made a cameo as a guy interested in buying the house. And he revealed that he and Charlie once had a three-way . . . which turned into a TWO-WAY when the girl left. --It actually felt more brutal and mean-spirited than the Charlie Sheen roast over on Comedy Central. (--And here's video of the last part of Sheen's roast speech. Wait for the part during the credits at 3:30, where Steve O runs into Mike Tyson's fist . . . for the second time during the roast . . . and appears to break his nose.)
Will Charlie Sheen Get $25 Million From Warner Brothers?
Numerous sources say that CHARLIE SHEEN is close to settling his $100 million lawsuit with Warner Brothers over being fired from "Two and a Half Men". --Some of those sources say Charlie will pocket a cool $25 million up front. --And TMZ claims that both sides also came together on a deal for Charlie's syndication profits . . . which will pay him another $100 million over the next seven to 10 years.
Jon Cryer Got His Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame . . . And Thanked Charlie Sheen:
JON CRYER got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday . . . and thanked CHARLIE SHEEN in the process. --He said, quote, "I do have to say a real word of thanks to my costar of eight years, Charlie Sheen, who gave me so much as a performer and who I enjoyed working with so much." --He also thanked "Two and a Half Men" creator CHUCK LORRE . . . who was there . . . for saving Charlie's life. --He said, quote, "But perhaps, more importantly, I feel the need to thank Chuck Lorre and [co-creator] Lee Aronsohn, who when they saw somebody who was clearly in distress, took every possible means to try to help their friend . . . --"And who, you know, when it came time to make the ultimate decision, which was someplace that nobody wanted to go, did something that in my belief saved my friend." (--Check out some video here.)
Charlie Sheen Posted Another Picture of Himself and Ashton Kutcher at the Emmys:
CHARLIE SHEEN posted a second picture of himself and ASHTON KUTCHER backstage at the Emmys. The caption was a message to Ashton . . . quote, "Great talking to you! We'll all be watching! Make us proud!" --To which Ashton replied, quote, "Good to meet you too. Wishing you the best on your new gig." (--You can check out the photo here.)
Dolores Hope is Dead at the Age of 102:
DOLORES HOPE . . . the widow of BOB HOPE . . . died yesterday in Toluca Lake, California. She was 102 years old. Dolores and Bob were married for 69 years . . . until his death in 2003. (--Bob lived to be 100.) --Dolores is survived by two children, three grandchildren and a great-grandson. She'll be buried next to her husband at the Bob Hope Memorial Garden at the San Fernando Mission Cemetery in
Alec Baldwin Doesn't Think His Daughter Should Be Attacked for Using the N-Word on Twitter . . . Because She Was Quoting a Song Title:
ALEC BALDWIN doesn't think his daughter Ireland should be attacked for using the N-word on Twitter . . . because she was only quoting a song title. --The song in question is "[N-words] in Paris" . . . the latest single from the KANYE WEST / JAY-Z album "Watch the Throne". --And this all started when Ireland . . . who'll be 16 next month . . . mentioned the song on Twitter. Because she wrote the actual name of the song, people started calling her RACIST.--So Alec Tweeted, quote, "I love that song [N-WORDS] IN PARIS!!! I love Kanye!! I love @IrelandBBaldwin most of all!!! --"Kanye and I are doing a song called [N-WORDS] IN MONTAUK. My album is called MY BEAUTIFUL PALE TWISTED FANTASY." --Then he added, quote, "Anyone who thinks that quoting the title of that song is racist is a disgrace. To the human race."
Somebody Stole John Travolta's Classic Mercedes . . . While He Was Shopping at a Jaguar Dealership:
Somebody stole JOHN TRAVOLTA'S classic, 1970 Mercedes 280-SL right off the street in Santa Monica on Sunday . . . while he was shopping for another car. --Travolta parked the car and walked two blocks to a Jaguar dealership. He was only inside for about 10 minutes, but when he got back to his parking spot, the car was gone. There were no witnesses. --Depending on its condition, that Benz can be worth anywhere from $50,000 to 100-grand. (--Here's a picture of the car.) (Radar Online)
Christina Milian Bit Down on a Wad of Chewed Gum While Eating a Salad:
CHRISTINA MILIAN was enjoying a salad at an L.A. restaurant called Mexicali last week, when she felt something chewy in her mouth. Turns out it was a wad of CHEWED GUM. --After she spit it out and saw what it was, Christina bolted for the bathroom and THREW UP. --The restaurant comped Christina's meal, but she still filed a complaint with the health department, and she's thinking about getting her lawyer on this. (--We don't know yet if she's actually going to sue.) --She says, quote, "The most important thing to me is to make sure my health is okay. Ever since the incident I have not eaten out."
Emmy Winner Melissa McCarthy and Jenny McCarthy Are Cousins:
MELISSA MCCARTHY . . . the deliciously chubby star of the CBS sitcom "Mike & Molly" . . . isn't the only person in her family who's in showbiz. For those of you who didn't already know, she's actually cousins with JENNY MCCARTHY. --After Melissa won the Emmy for lead actress in a comedy Sunday night, Jenny Tweeted, quote, "Congrats to my cousin Melissa McCarthy on her Emmy win!!"
Singer Gavin Degraw Accepts His Recent Beat-Down as Part of New York City Life:
You would think that getting beaten down by at least three guys in the middle of the street could sour you on a particular city. --But GAVIN DEGRAW has been a New Yorker all his life . . . and he's not letting the WHOOPIN' he took last month change how he feels about the place. --He says, quote, "I love New York City, I built my life and my career out of New York City and New York City has been very good to me. I have to love that town. You can do anything you want in that town but you play at your own risk. --"You bump into unsavory characters, that's the nature of it. New York City has all kinds. You end up with the bad with the good in New York City and that's just kind of the rules. I still love New York. --"I live a very independent lifestyle and New York allows me to do that. I still like living independently and I take full advantage of that and I also take responsibility for that." --Gavin also refuses to let the incident change how he operates . . . quote, "I don't live in fear. The fact is that I have always known the risk of living in a big city and everybody does. It just makes you aware and it reminds you. --"It's more of a reminder of the environment. It doesn't change the environment and doesn't make me not want to be affiliated with the environment anymore. It just makes you cautious but not afraid."
DANCING WITH THE LGBT
Chaz Bono Wasn't Half Bad on "Dancing With the Stars":
The new season of "Dancing With the Stars" premiered last night . . . and the big question has been answered: CHAZ BONO ain't half bad. In fact, he was kinda GOOD. --The judges LOVED Chaz's upbeat attitude, and the way he threw himself into his dance. Technically, he wasn't the best out there . . . but he wasn't the worst, either. --He ended the night with a total score of 17 . . . which put him at about the middle of the pack. "Queer Eye" star CARSON KRESSLEY also got 17.
--The WORST dancer last night was Laker RON ARTEST . . . or METTA WORLD PEACE if you prefer. He got a 14.
--Then came GEORGE CLOONEY'S ex-girlfriend, ELISABETTA CANALIS, who was surprisingly BAD. She got a 15. (--George's current girlfriend, STACY KIEBLER, finished SECOND when she was on the show. Unless Elisabetta seriously turns it up, she's got NO CHANCE of matching that.)
--Another PLEASANT surprise last night was NANCY GRACE, who danced better than probably ANYONE expected. She also has ENORMOUS CHEST ORNAMENTS, which judge BRUNO TONIOLI was kind enough to point out. --Nancy and ROB KARDASHIAN each got a score of 16.
--The dancers to beat at this point are CHYNNA PHILLIPS and actor (slash) Iraq war vet J.R. MARTINEZ . . . who tied atop the leader board with 22.
--Women's soccer star HOPE SOLO was right behind them with 21.
--RICKI LAKE got 20 points.
--KRISTIN CAVALLARI earned 19.
--And DAVID ARQUETTE . . . who you can tell is going to be one of the most FUN contestants to watch this season . . . finished with 18.
--One of these people who is NOT CHAZ BONO will be going home tonight.
(--Watch Chaz and David Arquette dance here.)
EMMY AFTERMATH
Rainn Wilson Says TV "Should Be Ashamed of Itself" for Not Giving Steve Carell an Emmy:
Before the Emmys, STEVE CARELL was a favorite to win Best Actor in a Comedy. He'd never won for his role as Michael Scott on "The Office" during his first six seasons . . . so for his final seventh season, people figured he'd finally get recognized. --Well . . . nope. JIM PARSONS from the "Big Bang Theory" won. So after six nominations in seven seasons, Steve Carell never won. --And RAINN WILSON . . . who plays Dwight on "The Office" . . . says that ain't right. After the show, he tweeted, quote, "The world of TV should be ashamed of itself that Steve Carell never won an Emmy for Michael Gary Scott. Goodnight." --Before the show started, Wilson seemed to have a feeling that this wasn't going to be a good year for "The Office" . . . he tweeted, quote, "[We have] about zero chance of winning this year because the cast has been relegated to rows U and V."
The Emmys Got Crushed by Football . . . And Their Ratings Almost Hit a Record Low:
Here's more proof that FOOTBALL has passed EVERYTHING ELSE as America's number one passion. The ratings are in for the Emmys and . . . yeah, not so good. --About 12.4 million people watched on Sunday night. That's down 8% from the 13.5 million who watched in the past two years . . . and just about 100,000 people above the record low numbers from 1990 and 2008. --Last year, NBC moved the Emmys to August 29th . . . because they broadcast the NFL's Sunday night game and refused to bump it for the awards. --This year, FOX was broadcasting the Emmys and decided to go head-to-head with the NFL . . . and they got killed. --The NBC Sunday Night Football game between the Atlanta Falcons and Philadelphia Eagles . . . featuring MICHAEL VICK'S return to Atlanta as a starter . . . got 21.52 million viewers.
TV REMINDERS
Tuesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)
--"Dancing with the Stars: Meet the Cast" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Performance highlights, judges commentary and rehearsal footage.) (--DELICIOUS AUDIO ALERT: Grab all your performance show clips here.)
--"Dancing with the Stars" [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"NCIS" [9th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.
--"Glee" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.
--"The Biggest Loser" [12th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Bob Harper, fitness expert Dolvett Quince and tennis star Anna Kournikova are your personal trainers for this season.)
--"NCIS: Los Angeles" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.
--"New Girl" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox.(--Zooey Deschanel moves in with three guys after being dumped by her cheating boyfriend.)
--"Raising Hope" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--14-year-old singer Greyson Chance guest stars as a younger version of Jimmy.)
--"Kathy Griffin: Pants Off" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Bravo. (--Kathy Griffin performs stand-up at Sergerstrom Center for the Arts in Costa Mesa, California.)
--"What Not to Wear" [9th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC.
--"Body of Proof" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"Unforgettable" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--"Without a Trace" minx Poppy Montgomery plays a former homicide detective with the ability to remember everything that's ever happened to her. "Nip/Tuck's" Dylan Walsh is her former partner, who's investigating her neighbor's murder.)
--"Tosh.0" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central.
--"Workaholics" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central.
--"Born to Dance" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on BET. (--The remaining contestants perform with Lady Gaga.)
--"Teen Mom" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:30 P.M. on MTV.
--"Web Therapy" [1st Season Finale] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Showtime.
VIDEO GAME QUICK HITS - 1 of 2
"Gears of War 3" Hits Stores Tomorrow and Ice T Does One of the Voices:
--"Gears of War 3" (M) . . . exclusively on Xbox360. The conclusion of the series picks up after the fall of Jacinto, with Marcus learning that his father is still alive and that dad may have found a way to save humanity from the locusts.
Anya is also off the radio and fighting in battle alongside Delta squad for the first time. She's one of the three playable female characters in the online multiplayer mode. The other two are the Locust Queen and a new chick who'll be introduced in this game.
Be sure to listen for the voice of Ice T while you're playing the campaign. He plays a guy named Griffin. One of the game's best new features is that you can now complete the campaign with up to four players . . . which improves on the two-player co-op mode that you were limited to in the first two games.
Horde Mode has been revamped to allow you to establish a command post. You earn cash for kills and use that to buy fortifications for your position, including laser fences, automated turrets, and exploding decoys. (Horde Mode 2.0)
They've also reversed the concept of horde mode to let you play as the Locust creatures and attack the human defensive positions. The credits you earn for your kills are used to upgrade to better Locusts, such as berserkers and boomers. (Beast Mode)
(--This is also the first "Gears of War" to include a stereoscopic mode for 3DTVs.) (Dust to Dust) (Opening Cinema)
--"F1 2011" (Rating Pending) . . . on Xbox360 and PS3. This game features all of the drivers and cars in the 2011 FIA Forumla One World Championship, and you can race during the day or at night. Online multiplayer competition is the game's main emphasis, but it also includes co-op championships and a split-screen mode. (Gameplay Trailer)
ESRB Game Ratings: (E) for Everyone; (T) for Teen; (M) for Mature (18+)
Video Game Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories
#1.) The Tokyo Game Show took place this weekend and it featured lots of news about Sony's upcoming handheld system, the PlayStation Vita, and Nintendo's 3DS.
• The 3DS is getting a "slidepad" attachment that will add another analog stick, run on one AAA battery, and it will only cost about twenty dollars.
• Forget about playing Nintendo titles like "Star Fox", "Zelda", and "Mario" on your phone. Nintendo's boss recently said, "We're not interested in developing mobile games. If we did that, Nintendo would stop being Nintendo." (Full Story)
• The new "Mario Kart" game for the 3DS is coming out on December 4th. (Trailer)
• The Vita has 100 games in development, with 26 that are "almost ready". (--Here's the Tokyo Game Show launch trailer for the Vita.)
#2.) Gamestop is developing its own Android tablet computer that will come preloaded with games like the original "Crash Bandicoot." (Full Story) They're also expanding their trade-in program to accept iPods, iPhones and iPads for store credit. (Full Story)
#3.) Here's an amusing video of a guy inadvertently giving a Sex Ed lesson to the "Super Mario Bros." princess, MegaMan, and Ryu from "Street Fighter". (--WARNING: It includes sexual hand gestures and liberal use of the word penis.)
#4.) Here's a trailer for "Max Payne 3". It is scheduled to be released in March.
#5.) FELICIA DAY, from "The Guild" and "Eureka", will star in the latest downloadable content pack for "Dragon Age II" called "Mark of the Assassin". You can grab it on October 11th. (Trailer)
#6.) A 14-year-old girl wrote the makers of "NHL 12" because there was no option to make a female in the game's Create A Player mode. So what did they do to make it up to her? They put HER face in the game. (Full Story)
#7.) Here are the Top 7 Most Historically Inaccurate Videogames. You may not recognize most of them, but "Assassin's Creed" came in at #7. (Full Story)
NEW ON VIDEO THIS WEEK
--"Bridesmaids" - "SNL's" Kristen Wiig plays a jealous maid of honor to Maya Rudolph as the bride. The rest of bridesmaids include Rose Byrne from "Damages", Ellie Kemper from "The Office", and succulent "Mike & Molly" star Melissa McCarthy.
--"Set Up" - Bruce Willis, Ryan Phillippe, and 50 Cent star in this direct-to-video release about friends who go up against each other after a diamond heist goes wrong. (--You can check out the trailer here.)
TV Series On DVD:
--"The Mentalist: The Complete Third Season" . . . a five-disc DVD set.
--"Hawaii Five-0: The First Season" . . . a six-disc set of the new series.
--"Hawaii Five-O: The Eleventh Season" . . . a six-disc set. (--It ran for 12 seasons.)
--"Castle: The Complete Third Season" . . . a five-disc DVD set.
--"Body of Proof: The Complete First Season" . . . a two-disc DVD set.
--"Law & Order: Los Angeles - The Complete Series" . . . a five-disc DVD set.
--"Modern Family: The Complete Second Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.
--"Mike & Molly: The Complete First Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.
--"Happy Endings: The Complete First Season" . . . a two-disc DVD set.
--"Raising Hope: The Complete First Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.
--"The Kennedys" . . . a three-disc DVD set of the History Channel's mini-series.
NEW MUSIC OUT THIS WEEK
This Week's CD Releases:
--"Duets II", Tony Bennett (--His duet partners include Amy Winehouse, Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Norah Jones, Sheryl Crow, John Mayer, Josh Groban, Queen Latifah, k.d. lang, Faith Hill, Carrie Underwood, and Willie Nelson.)
--"Unbroken", Demi Lovato
--"Sweeter", Gavin DeGraw
Queen is Putting Together Their Own Tribute Band So That It's Done Properly:
ROGER TAYLOR is the drummer from QUEEN. And he's got some beef with a lot of the Queen tribute bands out there: THEY'RE NOT GOOD. --So he and the other remaining members of Queen have decided to take matters into their own hands . . . and they're now working on hand-picking their OWN tribute band. That way, Taylor says, it will be done properly. --If you think you can sing like FREDDIE MERCURY or rock the guitar like BRIAN MAY or competently drum like Taylor, you can upload an audition video to the website QueenExtravaganza.com. --Next year, the winners will get to play as a part of the Queen Extravaganza tour . . . which is a coast-to-coast tour featuring Queen, the tribute band, plus some unreleased Queen footage and a massive stage show.
Jane's Addiction Announces Two New Shows . . . And Offers Priority Tickets to People With Citi Credit Cards:
Nothing embodies the true spirit of rock-and-roll like offering preferential tickets to people who have the right brand of credit card. --JANE'S ADDICTION has announced they're going to play two big shows at the Ford Ampitheatre in L.A. on October 3rd and 4th. And they're offering first dibs on tickets to . . . people with Citi credit cards. --People with Citi credit cards have access to presale tickets today at 10:00 A.M. Pacific. Everyone else can buy on Saturday. --The show is part of Citi's Private Pass concert program, which is why their cardmembers get the advanced ticket opportunities . . . but, ya know, it still doesn't feel very rock-and-roll.
Guns N' Ross Has Announced NEW U.S. Tour Dates:
GUNS N' ROSES has only played one U.S. concert in the past four years, last year in August. And without getting into jokes about supply and demand . . . they've just announced some more dates for their U.S. tour. --They start October 28th in Orlando, Florida and end November 19th in Hartford, Connecticut. (--You can see all of the dates here.)
50 Cent Has Already Fed 2.5 Million People After Less Than Two Weeks of Energy Drink Sales:
Less than two weeks ago, 50 CENT launched Street King, which is an energy drink shot. Obviously, the world did not need another energy drink. --But this one brought something new to the table: The revenue from every drink sold would feed one starving person. --And in a new interview, 50 said they've already sold enough to feed 2.5 MILLION PEOPLE. --His goal is to feed one billion people through Street King. --In the interview, 50 also talked about his new album. Quote, "I feel like I'm done with the album. I'm going through the mixing process." --He didn't confirm this, but there have been rumors that the album could drop as soon as November . . . or it could be bumped to early next year.
Zac Brown's "Performing Together" Bucket List Includes Sting, Bruce Springsteen . . . and Adele:
ZAC BROWN was asked if he has a bucket list of performers he'd like to someday work with. Boy does he. Check out this wish list. Zac said, quote, "STING is one that I'm really excited about trying to track down. (And) BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN." --Zac also name-checked one of the hottest female singers on the planet, British pop star ADELE. He said, quote, "I can't stop listening to her '21' record. It's amazing."
TUESDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS
Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:
BILL CLINTON was offered "Dancing With the Stars". He turned it down, obviously. (Full Story)
ANDERSON COOPER got choked up as he and his mom, designer GLORIA VANDERBILT, talked about his brother's suicide. (Video)
LINDSAY LOHAN is back to guys . . . at least for now. The paparazzi caught her making out with a rich hotel magnate named Vikram Chatwal at his New York City apartment at 5:00 A.M. recently. (Full Story)
TRACY MORGAN is engaged. (Full Story)
NE-YO is engaged . . . and he and his future wife are expecting their second child. (Full Story)
Here's a slideshow of famous chicks without makeup. (Full Story)
KATE GOSSELIN paid $174 for doing 88 in a 65-mile-per-hour zone. (Full Story)
Reality TV waste BETHENNY FRANKEL and her husband got lost at sea on Saturday. They had to be rescued by the Coast Guard. (Full Story)
INXS has fired J.D. FORTUNE . . . the lead singer who they got from the reality show "Rock Star: INXS" . . . for the second time. (Full Story)
RADIOHEAD will be on "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central on Monday . . . they'll perform four songs and it will be Colbert's first-ever hour-long episode. (Full Story)
The track list for SUSAN BOYLE'S new album has been released and it includes her covers of THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS' "Unchained Melody" and DEPECHE MODE'S "Enjoy the Silence". (Full Story)
MIKE PORTNOY sued his ex-bandmates in DREAM THEATER for "wrongfully excluding" him from the group. (Full Story)
SHARON OSBOURNE may be developing her own talk show now . . . even though she's contractually obligated to be on "The Talk". (Full Story)
ABC has ordered extra security for CHAZ BONO while he's on "Dancing with the Stars". There haven't been any specific threats against him, but they're still worried. (Full Story)
LESTER HOLT will be replacing ANN CURRY on "Dateline NBC" when it debuts on Friday. (Full Story)
RANDOM STUFF
Single Men Think They Do Better at Work When They're Dating Someone . . . While Half of Women Think They Do Worse:
This week is National Singles Week. To celebrate, the dating website Zoosk conducted a survey of single people. --Two in three single men said that they are more productive at work when they're dating someone. More than half of women said that a relationship makes them LESS productive if it has any effect at all. --85% of men say they feel happier when they're in a relationship. 73% of women said a relationship made them happier. --66% of men said that they're still single because they're, quote, "too picky." 59% of women agreed, making it the top reason for both men and women. --The next most common reason men gave for being single was "too busy," followed by "terrified of getting close to someone." Women gave those same two reasons, but in the opposite order. --Three out of four singles say that unmarried people aren't treated the same as married people by most of society. --The single guy men use as their role model is George Clooney, followed by Justin Timberlake and Jake Gyllenhaal. Women pick Cameron Diaz as their single role model, followed by Rihanna and Pippa Middleton. (PR Newswire)
A New Survey Finds the Four Most Annoying Things Your Coworkers Do:
We know your coworkers annoy you. Everyone's annoyed by their coworkers. Their coworkers other than you, that is. You're perfect. --Anyway, a new survey by Samsung asked people to name the most annoying thing their coworkers do, and they came up with this list of the top four:
#1.) Talking too loudly on the phone.
#2.) Finishing the coffee without making a new pot.
#3.) Forgetting to turn off their cell phone ringer.
#4.) Eating food that smells horrible.
--The survey also found the thing around the office that annoys people the most OTHER than their coworkers is having an issue with their computer. (Press Association)
One-Third of Adults Would Now Rather Have You Text Them Than Call Them:
It's one thing when teenagers say they prefer text messages to phone calls. They're teenagers. They're supposed to say things like that. But now, in a bad, bad sign for the future of phone calls . . . us older, more mature adults are saying it too. --In a new study by the Pew Research Center's Internet and American Life Project, 31% of adults . . . or damn near ONE in THREE . . . say they'd rather receive a text than a phone call in EVERY situation. --51% are still clinging to phone calls . . . but that number is shrinking. And 14% say that it would depend on the situation whether they prefer a text or call. --The study also found that the average adult sends or receives 10 texts every day and makes or receives 12 calls. (Pew Research Center)
Parents Would Rather Talk to Their Kids about Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol Than Help Them With Their Algebra Homework:
A survey by Sylvan Learning found that everybody hates algebra. Kids don't want to take it, and parents don't want to help them with their algebra homework. --Eighth and ninth graders said that taking an algebra test is more stressful than having to make friends at a new school. Only public speaking was more stressful. --Two in five kids said that doing algebra homework was more intimidating than asking someone out on a date. --One out of every three kids would give up video games and Facebook for a month if it got them out of taking algebra . . . and three in five would learn a new foreign language. --Unfortunately for kids, parents aren't much help. One out of five kids said that when their parents help with homework, they get most of the questions wrong. --Seven out of ten parents said that helping with algebra homework is harder than teaching their child to drive. --Parents also said having talks with their kid about sex, drugs, and alcohol would make them LESS uncomfortable than helping with algebra. Four out of five parents said they'd be more likely to make a mistake on their kid's algebra homework than on their tax return. --When asked to give themselves a grade on their ability to help their kid with algebra, 60% of parents gave themselves a C or lower. More than half of the kids surveyed gave their parents a low grade as well. (Fenton.com)
Here's What You Need to Know About All the Netflix Changes:
About six months ago, Netflix was so beloved that people would've taken a bullet for them. Now they're hemorrhaging subscribers and watching their stock price plummet. --Here's your guide to everything that's gone wrong and what it means for you.
--The Price "Doubled." Back in July, Netflix announced they were scrapping plans that allowed you to stream movies AND get DVDs in the mail. You'd have to pay for both separately. So now, instead of $10-a-month for both, it's at least $16. --Those changes went into effect this month. Netflix recently admitted they're expecting to lose ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBERS over the price hike.
--Qwikster? Netflix isn't just splitting up streaming movies and DVDs . . . they're actually making them separate COMPANIES. The streaming service is still called Netflix . . . the DVD-by-mail service will be called Qwikster. --On the plus side, Qwikster will also start mailing you video games if you want 'em. --On the downside, Netflix didn't check to see if someone on Twitter already had the name Qwikster . . . and it turns out a guy named Jason Castillo already tweets under that name, mostly about REEFER. --On the other downside, it appears you'll have to set up a whole different account on Qwikster. Like, you'll have to enter your credit card again AND set up your queue all over from scratch. Which seems unnecessarily complex and inconvenient.
--Losing Starz. A lot of the more recent movies available on Netflix streaming are there through a deal with the Starz network. Netflix and Starz couldn't reach an agreement to renew the deal . . . which could really hurt the selection.
Your Cat Likes Taking Naps with You, Doesn't Like Watching TV, and Hates Getting Wet More Than it Hates Dogs:
Sonya Fitzpatrick is a, quote, "well-known animal communicator." Which means she's some kind of animal psychic. -She looked at photos of 250 cats and somehow communicated with them telepathically, so we'd know what our pets were thinking. Here are the results of her first-ever psychic cat survey: --Cats aren't lazy. Even though it looks like they lay around all day, 52% of them say they're always on the move, exploring the house throughout the day. --Don't bother leaving the TV on to keep them entertained. Only 1.6% say they like watching television. --You might think they hate dogs, but nearly half claim that getting wet is actually their biggest pet peeve. Being woken up from a nap is next most annoying, with three in ten cats complaining about that. --Cats like getting fed treats, but only 1.6% say they like getting them right after a meal or right before bed. When asked about the best time for treats, 45% told Sonya that "right about now would be nice." 28% said "always". --And their favorite thing to do with humans is to snuggle with them and fall asleep. (PR Newswire)
Get Larger, Firmer Breasts . . . By Letting a Thai Woman Smack Them at Bangkok's Breast-Slapping Beauty Shop:
If you want larger breasts or a firmer body, you can pay for plastic surgery, or you can try this all-natural procedure. --There's a woman in Thailand named Khemmikka Na Songkhla. And for almost 20 years, she's been running a beauty salon in Bangkok that practices the ancient art of body slapping. --It looks pretty simple. Khemmikka puts on some music . . . then starts slapping the area you want to look better. Sometimes, she slaps to the rhythm of the song. --Some of the more popular treatments are face-slapping, which helps get rid of chubby cheeks and gives you a more shapely looking face . . . buttock slapping, which firms up your rear end . . . and boob slapping. --Not only will the treatment firm up your cans, but Khemmikka claims she can add TWO INCHES to your bust size with her treatment. --Body slapping is an ancient art, but unlike other ancient Asian treatments like acupuncture and foot massage, this one was nearly lost to history. --Khemmikka says that, back then, people didn't care about having large breasts. Luckily, her ancestors kept it alive, and it was passed on to her. --She offers training courses, but it's hard to get in, and they're really expensive. She had dozens of applicants, selected 10 people to train, and charges $164,000 for the face-slapping course, $263,000 for boob training, and $328,000 for full body. (Gawker)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS
A Guy Steals a Woman's Phone . . . Then Gets Busted After Sending Her a Facebook Friend Request:
Facebook addiction FIGHTS CRIME. --Last week, 22-year-old Juan Gonzales Junior of Greeley, Colorado, broke into a woman's house around 3:00 A.M. and stole her laptop, some jewelry, and her cell phone. --A few hours later, the victim got a Facebook friend request from someone she didn't know . . . a man named Duce Gonzales. Which, it turns out, is Juan's nickname. --That's right: This guy stole her cell phone . . . figured out her name . . . and then apparently couldn't resist his impulse to friend her. --He also started texting one of her friends . . . from her phone. --The police were easily able to use those texts and the Facebook request to locate Juan. He was arrested for burglary and theft. (Greeley Tribune)
A Guy Caused a Car Accident By Putting a Rubber Snake on a Highway:
Our Stupid Criminal of the Day is 20-year-old Stafford Hugh Farris from Clover, South Carolina. (--Clover is just south of Charlotte, North Carolina.) Last Tuesday, he decided to pull an idiotic practical joke . . . that got him arrested. --Stafford found a three-foot-long rubber snake in his garage and decided to have some fun. --He tied it to some fishing line and threw the snake into the middle of Highway 55. His plan was to pull the string from a nearby hill, and make it look like the snake was trying to cross the road. --But while Stafford was still climbing the hill, a teenage girl saw the snake in the road, thought it was a REAL SNAKE, and slammed on the brakes of her Honda to avoid hitting it. --She stopped in time, but a guy in a Dodge pickup truck behind her slammed into the back of her car. --The cars suffered $8,000 worth of damage, with the girl's Honda getting the brunt of it. Her car had to be towed away, and both drivers were examined by emergency personnel. --Stafford confessed to police immediately, and at least he was sorry that anyone had been injured by his prank. --He was charged with, quote, 'Putting a Foreign Substance on the Highway With Malice,' and will go to trial in January. (WTSP)
RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS
Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:
ow THIS is how you know the economy sucks: A woman selling a home in Chicago is offering a $1,000 tab for the bar across the street as a "throw in" for potential buyers. (Full Story)
A survey in Iceland found that a majority of people there believe . . . elves exist. 13% said impossible, and 19% said unlikely. But 37% said possibly, 17% said likely, and 8% said definitely. (Full Story)
A high school in England has banned makeup and mirrors . . . to help keep girls from spending all day worried about their looks? (Full Story)
An 81-year-old clown in Florida claims that she was called Lady Gaga long before the singer. (Full Story)
NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) The Excited Car Crash Guy Did a Second Interview . . . And It's Even Better Than the First:
If you haven't seen the video of the excited guy talking about his car crash . . . you need to. --His name is George Lindell, and he gave a ridiculous interview with the local news in Arizona the other day after a car rear-ended him, then flipped over on its side. --He almost seemed HAPPY about the whole thing, and started telling the story to a camera crew . . . while the other guy was still trapped in his car. --Well, it turns out George actually did TWO interviews back-to-back that day. --And the amazing thing about the second one is . . . he tells the story EXACTLY the same way, with just as much enthusiasm. --And just like the first time, the reporter is the one who has to mention that the other guy is still trapped. (--Search for "Arizona Man Give Best Description of a Car Accident Ever.")
#2.) David Beckham Pretended to Be a Perfume Sprayer at Target . . . And Got Women to Smell His Leg:
DAVID BECKHAM was on "Ellen" on Friday, and she dressed him up in a disguise, sent him to Target, and had him spray people with his new cologne. He was actually pretty funny . . . mostly because Ellen fed him lines through an earpiece the whole time. --And at one point, she got him to spray his cologne on his pants . . . then convince women to SMELL HIS LEG. --The disguise was a hat and glasses, so people figured out who he was after a few minutes. But not before he did some SINGING and also tried to force a guy to SHOPLIFT. (--Search for "David Beckham Goes Undercover.")
#3.) Here's What It Looks Like to Fly Around Planet Earth at Night:
Six hundred photos taken from the International Space Station were made available online. --And a science professor named James Drake spliced them all together to make a minute-long timelapse video that shows what it looks like if you could fly around the Earth like Superman. --In the video, you go over North and South America, then you see the sun come up. (--Search for "What Does It Feel Like to Fly Over Planet Earth." Check out the lightning around :20, and watch the sun rise at :46.)
Seven of the Healthiest Ways to Spend a Dollar at the Grocery Store:
According to an article on DivineCaroline.com, the easiest way to shop cheap and healthy at the grocery store is to spend as little time in the aisles as possible. --That's because things like fruits, vegetables, milk, and grains are usually in the outermost sections of the store. And the aisles in the middle of the store are mostly filled with processed food that's more expensive. --Now, here's a list of the seven healthiest ways to spend a dollar at the supermarket.
#1.) A Week's Worth of Oats. They're high in fiber and complex carbohydrates. And if you have high cholesterol, oatmeal can lower it.
#2.) A Half-Dozen Eggs. They're one of the cheapest sources of protein you can find. And research shows that the antioxidants in eggs can help prevent age-related issues with your eyesight.
#3.) Five Bananas. They're high in potassium and fiber, and they cost as little as 20 cents each. So for a dollar a week, you can have a banana at work every single day. That's the same price as one bag of chips from the vending machine.
#4.) A Can of Garbanzo Beans. Unless they're refried, basically ANY kind of beans are good for you because they have protein and fiber. But garbanzo beans are also high in iron, folate, manganese, and might lower cholesterol too.
#5.) Spinach. You can get a big bushel of it for around a buck, and it's high in vitamin C, iron, and calcium.
#6.) Yogurt. A single-serving of yogurt costs about a dollar, and it's rich in protein, vitamin A, vitamin D, calcium, and potassium.
#7.) Coffee. It's loaded with antioxidants that can help prevent heart disease and cancer. And if you make it at home, it's WAY less than a dollar a cup. (--Some of the other healthy options listed on the site include watermelon, broccoli, and whole grain pasta. You can check out their Top 20 here.) (DivineCaroline.com)
Turns out BRITNEY SPEARS is engaged . . . in her new video. --Britney is currently shooting the video for "Criminal" in London, and it starts off with her engaged to some dude. --But the guy gets abusive with her at a party, so another man . . . played by Britney's real-life boyfriend Jason Trawick . . . punches him out. Then Britney and Jason go on a crime spree together. (--Check out some pics from the set here.) (Daily Mail)
SHEEN-ANIGANS - 1 of 3
Charlie Sheen's Character on "Two and a Half Men" Was Indeed Hit by a Train:
Did you catch ASHTON KUTCHER'S debut on "Two and a Half Men" last night? Was it everything you hoped it would be? --Just like we'd heard, CHARLIE SHEEN'S character fell . . . or more likely was PUSHED . . . in front of a train in Paris. --At his closed-casket funeral, Charlie's girlfriend Rose . . . the one who probably pushed him . . . said his body, quote, "just exploded like a balloon full of meat." (--Technically . . . and I'm rooting for this personally . . . you never see Charlie's body. So MAYBE, if someday Charlie and CHUCK LORRE can make nice, Charlie's character could make a surprise reappearance, alive and well. There have been stranger plot twists.) --Charlie's death was dealt with pretty quickly . . . and rather brutally. At his funeral, several of his ex-girlfriends . . . including JENNY MCCARTHY and JERI RYAN . . . talked about all the rotten things he did, like give them STDs and whatnot. --In a later scene, JOHN STAMOS made a cameo as a guy interested in buying the house. And he revealed that he and Charlie once had a three-way . . . which turned into a TWO-WAY when the girl left. --It actually felt more brutal and mean-spirited than the Charlie Sheen roast over on Comedy Central. (--And here's video of the last part of Sheen's roast speech. Wait for the part during the credits at 3:30, where Steve O runs into Mike Tyson's fist . . . for the second time during the roast . . . and appears to break his nose.)
Will Charlie Sheen Get $25 Million From Warner Brothers?
Numerous sources say that CHARLIE SHEEN is close to settling his $100 million lawsuit with Warner Brothers over being fired from "Two and a Half Men". --Some of those sources say Charlie will pocket a cool $25 million up front. --And TMZ claims that both sides also came together on a deal for Charlie's syndication profits . . . which will pay him another $100 million over the next seven to 10 years.
Jon Cryer Got His Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame . . . And Thanked Charlie Sheen:
JON CRYER got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame yesterday . . . and thanked CHARLIE SHEEN in the process. --He said, quote, "I do have to say a real word of thanks to my costar of eight years, Charlie Sheen, who gave me so much as a performer and who I enjoyed working with so much." --He also thanked "Two and a Half Men" creator CHUCK LORRE . . . who was there . . . for saving Charlie's life. --He said, quote, "But perhaps, more importantly, I feel the need to thank Chuck Lorre and [co-creator] Lee Aronsohn, who when they saw somebody who was clearly in distress, took every possible means to try to help their friend . . . --"And who, you know, when it came time to make the ultimate decision, which was someplace that nobody wanted to go, did something that in my belief saved my friend." (--Check out some video here.)
Charlie Sheen Posted Another Picture of Himself and Ashton Kutcher at the Emmys:
CHARLIE SHEEN posted a second picture of himself and ASHTON KUTCHER backstage at the Emmys. The caption was a message to Ashton . . . quote, "Great talking to you! We'll all be watching! Make us proud!" --To which Ashton replied, quote, "Good to meet you too. Wishing you the best on your new gig." (--You can check out the photo here.)
Dolores Hope is Dead at the Age of 102:
DOLORES HOPE . . . the widow of BOB HOPE . . . died yesterday in Toluca Lake, California. She was 102 years old. Dolores and Bob were married for 69 years . . . until his death in 2003. (--Bob lived to be 100.) --Dolores is survived by two children, three grandchildren and a great-grandson. She'll be buried next to her husband at the Bob Hope Memorial Garden at the San Fernando Mission Cemetery in
Alec Baldwin Doesn't Think His Daughter Should Be Attacked for Using the N-Word on Twitter . . . Because She Was Quoting a Song Title:
ALEC BALDWIN doesn't think his daughter Ireland should be attacked for using the N-word on Twitter . . . because she was only quoting a song title. --The song in question is "[N-words] in Paris" . . . the latest single from the KANYE WEST / JAY-Z album "Watch the Throne". --And this all started when Ireland . . . who'll be 16 next month . . . mentioned the song on Twitter. Because she wrote the actual name of the song, people started calling her RACIST.--So Alec Tweeted, quote, "I love that song [N-WORDS] IN PARIS!!! I love Kanye!! I love @IrelandBBaldwin most of all!!! --"Kanye and I are doing a song called [N-WORDS] IN MONTAUK. My album is called MY BEAUTIFUL PALE TWISTED FANTASY." --Then he added, quote, "Anyone who thinks that quoting the title of that song is racist is a disgrace. To the human race."
Somebody Stole John Travolta's Classic Mercedes . . . While He Was Shopping at a Jaguar Dealership:
Somebody stole JOHN TRAVOLTA'S classic, 1970 Mercedes 280-SL right off the street in Santa Monica on Sunday . . . while he was shopping for another car. --Travolta parked the car and walked two blocks to a Jaguar dealership. He was only inside for about 10 minutes, but when he got back to his parking spot, the car was gone. There were no witnesses. --Depending on its condition, that Benz can be worth anywhere from $50,000 to 100-grand. (--Here's a picture of the car.) (Radar Online)
Christina Milian Bit Down on a Wad of Chewed Gum While Eating a Salad:
CHRISTINA MILIAN was enjoying a salad at an L.A. restaurant called Mexicali last week, when she felt something chewy in her mouth. Turns out it was a wad of CHEWED GUM. --After she spit it out and saw what it was, Christina bolted for the bathroom and THREW UP. --The restaurant comped Christina's meal, but she still filed a complaint with the health department, and she's thinking about getting her lawyer on this. (--We don't know yet if she's actually going to sue.) --She says, quote, "The most important thing to me is to make sure my health is okay. Ever since the incident I have not eaten out."
Emmy Winner Melissa McCarthy and Jenny McCarthy Are Cousins:
MELISSA MCCARTHY . . . the deliciously chubby star of the CBS sitcom "Mike & Molly" . . . isn't the only person in her family who's in showbiz. For those of you who didn't already know, she's actually cousins with JENNY MCCARTHY. --After Melissa won the Emmy for lead actress in a comedy Sunday night, Jenny Tweeted, quote, "Congrats to my cousin Melissa McCarthy on her Emmy win!!"
Singer Gavin Degraw Accepts His Recent Beat-Down as Part of New York City Life:
You would think that getting beaten down by at least three guys in the middle of the street could sour you on a particular city. --But GAVIN DEGRAW has been a New Yorker all his life . . . and he's not letting the WHOOPIN' he took last month change how he feels about the place. --He says, quote, "I love New York City, I built my life and my career out of New York City and New York City has been very good to me. I have to love that town. You can do anything you want in that town but you play at your own risk. --"You bump into unsavory characters, that's the nature of it. New York City has all kinds. You end up with the bad with the good in New York City and that's just kind of the rules. I still love New York. --"I live a very independent lifestyle and New York allows me to do that. I still like living independently and I take full advantage of that and I also take responsibility for that." --Gavin also refuses to let the incident change how he operates . . . quote, "I don't live in fear. The fact is that I have always known the risk of living in a big city and everybody does. It just makes you aware and it reminds you. --"It's more of a reminder of the environment. It doesn't change the environment and doesn't make me not want to be affiliated with the environment anymore. It just makes you cautious but not afraid."
DANCING WITH THE LGBT
Chaz Bono Wasn't Half Bad on "Dancing With the Stars":
The new season of "Dancing With the Stars" premiered last night . . . and the big question has been answered: CHAZ BONO ain't half bad. In fact, he was kinda GOOD. --The judges LOVED Chaz's upbeat attitude, and the way he threw himself into his dance. Technically, he wasn't the best out there . . . but he wasn't the worst, either. --He ended the night with a total score of 17 . . . which put him at about the middle of the pack. "Queer Eye" star CARSON KRESSLEY also got 17.
--The WORST dancer last night was Laker RON ARTEST . . . or METTA WORLD PEACE if you prefer. He got a 14.
--Then came GEORGE CLOONEY'S ex-girlfriend, ELISABETTA CANALIS, who was surprisingly BAD. She got a 15. (--George's current girlfriend, STACY KIEBLER, finished SECOND when she was on the show. Unless Elisabetta seriously turns it up, she's got NO CHANCE of matching that.)
--Another PLEASANT surprise last night was NANCY GRACE, who danced better than probably ANYONE expected. She also has ENORMOUS CHEST ORNAMENTS, which judge BRUNO TONIOLI was kind enough to point out. --Nancy and ROB KARDASHIAN each got a score of 16.
--The dancers to beat at this point are CHYNNA PHILLIPS and actor (slash) Iraq war vet J.R. MARTINEZ . . . who tied atop the leader board with 22.
--Women's soccer star HOPE SOLO was right behind them with 21.
--RICKI LAKE got 20 points.
--KRISTIN CAVALLARI earned 19.
--And DAVID ARQUETTE . . . who you can tell is going to be one of the most FUN contestants to watch this season . . . finished with 18.
--One of these people who is NOT CHAZ BONO will be going home tonight.
(--Watch Chaz and David Arquette dance here.)
EMMY AFTERMATH
Rainn Wilson Says TV "Should Be Ashamed of Itself" for Not Giving Steve Carell an Emmy:
Before the Emmys, STEVE CARELL was a favorite to win Best Actor in a Comedy. He'd never won for his role as Michael Scott on "The Office" during his first six seasons . . . so for his final seventh season, people figured he'd finally get recognized. --Well . . . nope. JIM PARSONS from the "Big Bang Theory" won. So after six nominations in seven seasons, Steve Carell never won. --And RAINN WILSON . . . who plays Dwight on "The Office" . . . says that ain't right. After the show, he tweeted, quote, "The world of TV should be ashamed of itself that Steve Carell never won an Emmy for Michael Gary Scott. Goodnight." --Before the show started, Wilson seemed to have a feeling that this wasn't going to be a good year for "The Office" . . . he tweeted, quote, "[We have] about zero chance of winning this year because the cast has been relegated to rows U and V."
The Emmys Got Crushed by Football . . . And Their Ratings Almost Hit a Record Low:
Here's more proof that FOOTBALL has passed EVERYTHING ELSE as America's number one passion. The ratings are in for the Emmys and . . . yeah, not so good. --About 12.4 million people watched on Sunday night. That's down 8% from the 13.5 million who watched in the past two years . . . and just about 100,000 people above the record low numbers from 1990 and 2008. --Last year, NBC moved the Emmys to August 29th . . . because they broadcast the NFL's Sunday night game and refused to bump it for the awards. --This year, FOX was broadcasting the Emmys and decided to go head-to-head with the NFL . . . and they got killed. --The NBC Sunday Night Football game between the Atlanta Falcons and Philadelphia Eagles . . . featuring MICHAEL VICK'S return to Atlanta as a starter . . . got 21.52 million viewers.
TV REMINDERS
Tuesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)
--"Dancing with the Stars: Meet the Cast" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Performance highlights, judges commentary and rehearsal footage.) (--DELICIOUS AUDIO ALERT: Grab all your performance show clips here.)
--"Dancing with the Stars" [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"NCIS" [9th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.
--"Glee" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.
--"The Biggest Loser" [12th Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Bob Harper, fitness expert Dolvett Quince and tennis star Anna Kournikova are your personal trainers for this season.)
--"NCIS: Los Angeles" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS.
--"New Girl" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox.(--Zooey Deschanel moves in with three guys after being dumped by her cheating boyfriend.)
--"Raising Hope" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:30 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox. (--14-year-old singer Greyson Chance guest stars as a younger version of Jimmy.)
--"Kathy Griffin: Pants Off" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Bravo. (--Kathy Griffin performs stand-up at Sergerstrom Center for the Arts in Costa Mesa, California.)
--"What Not to Wear" [9th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on TLC.
--"Body of Proof" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC.
--"Unforgettable" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--"Without a Trace" minx Poppy Montgomery plays a former homicide detective with the ability to remember everything that's ever happened to her. "Nip/Tuck's" Dylan Walsh is her former partner, who's investigating her neighbor's murder.)
--"Tosh.0" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central.
--"Workaholics" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central.
--"Born to Dance" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on BET. (--The remaining contestants perform with Lady Gaga.)
--"Teen Mom" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:30 P.M. on MTV.
--"Web Therapy" [1st Season Finale] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Showtime.
VIDEO GAME QUICK HITS - 1 of 2
"Gears of War 3" Hits Stores Tomorrow and Ice T Does One of the Voices:
--"Gears of War 3" (M) . . . exclusively on Xbox360. The conclusion of the series picks up after the fall of Jacinto, with Marcus learning that his father is still alive and that dad may have found a way to save humanity from the locusts.
Anya is also off the radio and fighting in battle alongside Delta squad for the first time. She's one of the three playable female characters in the online multiplayer mode. The other two are the Locust Queen and a new chick who'll be introduced in this game.
Be sure to listen for the voice of Ice T while you're playing the campaign. He plays a guy named Griffin. One of the game's best new features is that you can now complete the campaign with up to four players . . . which improves on the two-player co-op mode that you were limited to in the first two games.
Horde Mode has been revamped to allow you to establish a command post. You earn cash for kills and use that to buy fortifications for your position, including laser fences, automated turrets, and exploding decoys. (Horde Mode 2.0)
They've also reversed the concept of horde mode to let you play as the Locust creatures and attack the human defensive positions. The credits you earn for your kills are used to upgrade to better Locusts, such as berserkers and boomers. (Beast Mode)
(--This is also the first "Gears of War" to include a stereoscopic mode for 3DTVs.) (Dust to Dust) (Opening Cinema)
--"F1 2011" (Rating Pending) . . . on Xbox360 and PS3. This game features all of the drivers and cars in the 2011 FIA Forumla One World Championship, and you can race during the day or at night. Online multiplayer competition is the game's main emphasis, but it also includes co-op championships and a split-screen mode. (Gameplay Trailer)
ESRB Game Ratings: (E) for Everyone; (T) for Teen; (M) for Mature (18+)
Video Game Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories
#1.) The Tokyo Game Show took place this weekend and it featured lots of news about Sony's upcoming handheld system, the PlayStation Vita, and Nintendo's 3DS.
• The 3DS is getting a "slidepad" attachment that will add another analog stick, run on one AAA battery, and it will only cost about twenty dollars.
• Forget about playing Nintendo titles like "Star Fox", "Zelda", and "Mario" on your phone. Nintendo's boss recently said, "We're not interested in developing mobile games. If we did that, Nintendo would stop being Nintendo." (Full Story)
• The new "Mario Kart" game for the 3DS is coming out on December 4th. (Trailer)
• The Vita has 100 games in development, with 26 that are "almost ready". (--Here's the Tokyo Game Show launch trailer for the Vita.)
#2.) Gamestop is developing its own Android tablet computer that will come preloaded with games like the original "Crash Bandicoot." (Full Story) They're also expanding their trade-in program to accept iPods, iPhones and iPads for store credit. (Full Story)
#3.) Here's an amusing video of a guy inadvertently giving a Sex Ed lesson to the "Super Mario Bros." princess, MegaMan, and Ryu from "Street Fighter". (--WARNING: It includes sexual hand gestures and liberal use of the word penis.)
#4.) Here's a trailer for "Max Payne 3". It is scheduled to be released in March.
#5.) FELICIA DAY, from "The Guild" and "Eureka", will star in the latest downloadable content pack for "Dragon Age II" called "Mark of the Assassin". You can grab it on October 11th. (Trailer)
#6.) A 14-year-old girl wrote the makers of "NHL 12" because there was no option to make a female in the game's Create A Player mode. So what did they do to make it up to her? They put HER face in the game. (Full Story)
#7.) Here are the Top 7 Most Historically Inaccurate Videogames. You may not recognize most of them, but "Assassin's Creed" came in at #7. (Full Story)
NEW ON VIDEO THIS WEEK
--"Bridesmaids" - "SNL's" Kristen Wiig plays a jealous maid of honor to Maya Rudolph as the bride. The rest of bridesmaids include Rose Byrne from "Damages", Ellie Kemper from "The Office", and succulent "Mike & Molly" star Melissa McCarthy.
--"Set Up" - Bruce Willis, Ryan Phillippe, and 50 Cent star in this direct-to-video release about friends who go up against each other after a diamond heist goes wrong. (--You can check out the trailer here.)
TV Series On DVD:
--"The Mentalist: The Complete Third Season" . . . a five-disc DVD set.
--"Hawaii Five-0: The First Season" . . . a six-disc set of the new series.
--"Hawaii Five-O: The Eleventh Season" . . . a six-disc set. (--It ran for 12 seasons.)
--"Castle: The Complete Third Season" . . . a five-disc DVD set.
--"Body of Proof: The Complete First Season" . . . a two-disc DVD set.
--"Law & Order: Los Angeles - The Complete Series" . . . a five-disc DVD set.
--"Modern Family: The Complete Second Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.
--"Mike & Molly: The Complete First Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.
--"Happy Endings: The Complete First Season" . . . a two-disc DVD set.
--"Raising Hope: The Complete First Season" . . . a three-disc DVD set.
--"The Kennedys" . . . a three-disc DVD set of the History Channel's mini-series.
NEW MUSIC OUT THIS WEEK
This Week's CD Releases:
--"Duets II", Tony Bennett (--His duet partners include Amy Winehouse, Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Norah Jones, Sheryl Crow, John Mayer, Josh Groban, Queen Latifah, k.d. lang, Faith Hill, Carrie Underwood, and Willie Nelson.)
--"Unbroken", Demi Lovato
--"Sweeter", Gavin DeGraw
Queen is Putting Together Their Own Tribute Band So That It's Done Properly:
ROGER TAYLOR is the drummer from QUEEN. And he's got some beef with a lot of the Queen tribute bands out there: THEY'RE NOT GOOD. --So he and the other remaining members of Queen have decided to take matters into their own hands . . . and they're now working on hand-picking their OWN tribute band. That way, Taylor says, it will be done properly. --If you think you can sing like FREDDIE MERCURY or rock the guitar like BRIAN MAY or competently drum like Taylor, you can upload an audition video to the website QueenExtravaganza.com. --Next year, the winners will get to play as a part of the Queen Extravaganza tour . . . which is a coast-to-coast tour featuring Queen, the tribute band, plus some unreleased Queen footage and a massive stage show.
Jane's Addiction Announces Two New Shows . . . And Offers Priority Tickets to People With Citi Credit Cards:
Nothing embodies the true spirit of rock-and-roll like offering preferential tickets to people who have the right brand of credit card. --JANE'S ADDICTION has announced they're going to play two big shows at the Ford Ampitheatre in L.A. on October 3rd and 4th. And they're offering first dibs on tickets to . . . people with Citi credit cards. --People with Citi credit cards have access to presale tickets today at 10:00 A.M. Pacific. Everyone else can buy on Saturday. --The show is part of Citi's Private Pass concert program, which is why their cardmembers get the advanced ticket opportunities . . . but, ya know, it still doesn't feel very rock-and-roll.
Guns N' Ross Has Announced NEW U.S. Tour Dates:
GUNS N' ROSES has only played one U.S. concert in the past four years, last year in August. And without getting into jokes about supply and demand . . . they've just announced some more dates for their U.S. tour. --They start October 28th in Orlando, Florida and end November 19th in Hartford, Connecticut. (--You can see all of the dates here.)
50 Cent Has Already Fed 2.5 Million People After Less Than Two Weeks of Energy Drink Sales:
Less than two weeks ago, 50 CENT launched Street King, which is an energy drink shot. Obviously, the world did not need another energy drink. --But this one brought something new to the table: The revenue from every drink sold would feed one starving person. --And in a new interview, 50 said they've already sold enough to feed 2.5 MILLION PEOPLE. --His goal is to feed one billion people through Street King. --In the interview, 50 also talked about his new album. Quote, "I feel like I'm done with the album. I'm going through the mixing process." --He didn't confirm this, but there have been rumors that the album could drop as soon as November . . . or it could be bumped to early next year.
Zac Brown's "Performing Together" Bucket List Includes Sting, Bruce Springsteen . . . and Adele:
ZAC BROWN was asked if he has a bucket list of performers he'd like to someday work with. Boy does he. Check out this wish list. Zac said, quote, "STING is one that I'm really excited about trying to track down. (And) BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN." --Zac also name-checked one of the hottest female singers on the planet, British pop star ADELE. He said, quote, "I can't stop listening to her '21' record. It's amazing."
TUESDAY'S SHOWBIZ EXTRAS
Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:
BILL CLINTON was offered "Dancing With the Stars". He turned it down, obviously. (Full Story)
ANDERSON COOPER got choked up as he and his mom, designer GLORIA VANDERBILT, talked about his brother's suicide. (Video)
LINDSAY LOHAN is back to guys . . . at least for now. The paparazzi caught her making out with a rich hotel magnate named Vikram Chatwal at his New York City apartment at 5:00 A.M. recently. (Full Story)
TRACY MORGAN is engaged. (Full Story)
NE-YO is engaged . . . and he and his future wife are expecting their second child. (Full Story)
Here's a slideshow of famous chicks without makeup. (Full Story)
KATE GOSSELIN paid $174 for doing 88 in a 65-mile-per-hour zone. (Full Story)
Reality TV waste BETHENNY FRANKEL and her husband got lost at sea on Saturday. They had to be rescued by the Coast Guard. (Full Story)
INXS has fired J.D. FORTUNE . . . the lead singer who they got from the reality show "Rock Star: INXS" . . . for the second time. (Full Story)
RADIOHEAD will be on "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central on Monday . . . they'll perform four songs and it will be Colbert's first-ever hour-long episode. (Full Story)
The track list for SUSAN BOYLE'S new album has been released and it includes her covers of THE RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS' "Unchained Melody" and DEPECHE MODE'S "Enjoy the Silence". (Full Story)
MIKE PORTNOY sued his ex-bandmates in DREAM THEATER for "wrongfully excluding" him from the group. (Full Story)
SHARON OSBOURNE may be developing her own talk show now . . . even though she's contractually obligated to be on "The Talk". (Full Story)
ABC has ordered extra security for CHAZ BONO while he's on "Dancing with the Stars". There haven't been any specific threats against him, but they're still worried. (Full Story)
LESTER HOLT will be replacing ANN CURRY on "Dateline NBC" when it debuts on Friday. (Full Story)
RANDOM STUFF
Single Men Think They Do Better at Work When They're Dating Someone . . . While Half of Women Think They Do Worse:
This week is National Singles Week. To celebrate, the dating website Zoosk conducted a survey of single people. --Two in three single men said that they are more productive at work when they're dating someone. More than half of women said that a relationship makes them LESS productive if it has any effect at all. --85% of men say they feel happier when they're in a relationship. 73% of women said a relationship made them happier. --66% of men said that they're still single because they're, quote, "too picky." 59% of women agreed, making it the top reason for both men and women. --The next most common reason men gave for being single was "too busy," followed by "terrified of getting close to someone." Women gave those same two reasons, but in the opposite order. --Three out of four singles say that unmarried people aren't treated the same as married people by most of society. --The single guy men use as their role model is George Clooney, followed by Justin Timberlake and Jake Gyllenhaal. Women pick Cameron Diaz as their single role model, followed by Rihanna and Pippa Middleton. (PR Newswire)
A New Survey Finds the Four Most Annoying Things Your Coworkers Do:
We know your coworkers annoy you. Everyone's annoyed by their coworkers. Their coworkers other than you, that is. You're perfect. --Anyway, a new survey by Samsung asked people to name the most annoying thing their coworkers do, and they came up with this list of the top four:
#1.) Talking too loudly on the phone.
#2.) Finishing the coffee without making a new pot.
#3.) Forgetting to turn off their cell phone ringer.
#4.) Eating food that smells horrible.
--The survey also found the thing around the office that annoys people the most OTHER than their coworkers is having an issue with their computer. (Press Association)
One-Third of Adults Would Now Rather Have You Text Them Than Call Them:
It's one thing when teenagers say they prefer text messages to phone calls. They're teenagers. They're supposed to say things like that. But now, in a bad, bad sign for the future of phone calls . . . us older, more mature adults are saying it too. --In a new study by the Pew Research Center's Internet and American Life Project, 31% of adults . . . or damn near ONE in THREE . . . say they'd rather receive a text than a phone call in EVERY situation. --51% are still clinging to phone calls . . . but that number is shrinking. And 14% say that it would depend on the situation whether they prefer a text or call. --The study also found that the average adult sends or receives 10 texts every day and makes or receives 12 calls. (Pew Research Center)
Parents Would Rather Talk to Their Kids about Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol Than Help Them With Their Algebra Homework:
A survey by Sylvan Learning found that everybody hates algebra. Kids don't want to take it, and parents don't want to help them with their algebra homework. --Eighth and ninth graders said that taking an algebra test is more stressful than having to make friends at a new school. Only public speaking was more stressful. --Two in five kids said that doing algebra homework was more intimidating than asking someone out on a date. --One out of every three kids would give up video games and Facebook for a month if it got them out of taking algebra . . . and three in five would learn a new foreign language. --Unfortunately for kids, parents aren't much help. One out of five kids said that when their parents help with homework, they get most of the questions wrong. --Seven out of ten parents said that helping with algebra homework is harder than teaching their child to drive. --Parents also said having talks with their kid about sex, drugs, and alcohol would make them LESS uncomfortable than helping with algebra. Four out of five parents said they'd be more likely to make a mistake on their kid's algebra homework than on their tax return. --When asked to give themselves a grade on their ability to help their kid with algebra, 60% of parents gave themselves a C or lower. More than half of the kids surveyed gave their parents a low grade as well. (Fenton.com)
Here's What You Need to Know About All the Netflix Changes:
About six months ago, Netflix was so beloved that people would've taken a bullet for them. Now they're hemorrhaging subscribers and watching their stock price plummet. --Here's your guide to everything that's gone wrong and what it means for you.
--The Price "Doubled." Back in July, Netflix announced they were scrapping plans that allowed you to stream movies AND get DVDs in the mail. You'd have to pay for both separately. So now, instead of $10-a-month for both, it's at least $16. --Those changes went into effect this month. Netflix recently admitted they're expecting to lose ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBERS over the price hike.
--Qwikster? Netflix isn't just splitting up streaming movies and DVDs . . . they're actually making them separate COMPANIES. The streaming service is still called Netflix . . . the DVD-by-mail service will be called Qwikster. --On the plus side, Qwikster will also start mailing you video games if you want 'em. --On the downside, Netflix didn't check to see if someone on Twitter already had the name Qwikster . . . and it turns out a guy named Jason Castillo already tweets under that name, mostly about REEFER. --On the other downside, it appears you'll have to set up a whole different account on Qwikster. Like, you'll have to enter your credit card again AND set up your queue all over from scratch. Which seems unnecessarily complex and inconvenient.
--Losing Starz. A lot of the more recent movies available on Netflix streaming are there through a deal with the Starz network. Netflix and Starz couldn't reach an agreement to renew the deal . . . which could really hurt the selection.
Your Cat Likes Taking Naps with You, Doesn't Like Watching TV, and Hates Getting Wet More Than it Hates Dogs:
Sonya Fitzpatrick is a, quote, "well-known animal communicator." Which means she's some kind of animal psychic. -She looked at photos of 250 cats and somehow communicated with them telepathically, so we'd know what our pets were thinking. Here are the results of her first-ever psychic cat survey: --Cats aren't lazy. Even though it looks like they lay around all day, 52% of them say they're always on the move, exploring the house throughout the day. --Don't bother leaving the TV on to keep them entertained. Only 1.6% say they like watching television. --You might think they hate dogs, but nearly half claim that getting wet is actually their biggest pet peeve. Being woken up from a nap is next most annoying, with three in ten cats complaining about that. --Cats like getting fed treats, but only 1.6% say they like getting them right after a meal or right before bed. When asked about the best time for treats, 45% told Sonya that "right about now would be nice." 28% said "always". --And their favorite thing to do with humans is to snuggle with them and fall asleep. (PR Newswire)
Get Larger, Firmer Breasts . . . By Letting a Thai Woman Smack Them at Bangkok's Breast-Slapping Beauty Shop:
If you want larger breasts or a firmer body, you can pay for plastic surgery, or you can try this all-natural procedure. --There's a woman in Thailand named Khemmikka Na Songkhla. And for almost 20 years, she's been running a beauty salon in Bangkok that practices the ancient art of body slapping. --It looks pretty simple. Khemmikka puts on some music . . . then starts slapping the area you want to look better. Sometimes, she slaps to the rhythm of the song. --Some of the more popular treatments are face-slapping, which helps get rid of chubby cheeks and gives you a more shapely looking face . . . buttock slapping, which firms up your rear end . . . and boob slapping. --Not only will the treatment firm up your cans, but Khemmikka claims she can add TWO INCHES to your bust size with her treatment. --Body slapping is an ancient art, but unlike other ancient Asian treatments like acupuncture and foot massage, this one was nearly lost to history. --Khemmikka says that, back then, people didn't care about having large breasts. Luckily, her ancestors kept it alive, and it was passed on to her. --She offers training courses, but it's hard to get in, and they're really expensive. She had dozens of applicants, selected 10 people to train, and charges $164,000 for the face-slapping course, $263,000 for boob training, and $328,000 for full body. (Gawker)
MEATBALL CRIMINALS
A Guy Steals a Woman's Phone . . . Then Gets Busted After Sending Her a Facebook Friend Request:
Facebook addiction FIGHTS CRIME. --Last week, 22-year-old Juan Gonzales Junior of Greeley, Colorado, broke into a woman's house around 3:00 A.M. and stole her laptop, some jewelry, and her cell phone. --A few hours later, the victim got a Facebook friend request from someone she didn't know . . . a man named Duce Gonzales. Which, it turns out, is Juan's nickname. --That's right: This guy stole her cell phone . . . figured out her name . . . and then apparently couldn't resist his impulse to friend her. --He also started texting one of her friends . . . from her phone. --The police were easily able to use those texts and the Facebook request to locate Juan. He was arrested for burglary and theft. (Greeley Tribune)
A Guy Caused a Car Accident By Putting a Rubber Snake on a Highway:
Our Stupid Criminal of the Day is 20-year-old Stafford Hugh Farris from Clover, South Carolina. (--Clover is just south of Charlotte, North Carolina.) Last Tuesday, he decided to pull an idiotic practical joke . . . that got him arrested. --Stafford found a three-foot-long rubber snake in his garage and decided to have some fun. --He tied it to some fishing line and threw the snake into the middle of Highway 55. His plan was to pull the string from a nearby hill, and make it look like the snake was trying to cross the road. --But while Stafford was still climbing the hill, a teenage girl saw the snake in the road, thought it was a REAL SNAKE, and slammed on the brakes of her Honda to avoid hitting it. --She stopped in time, but a guy in a Dodge pickup truck behind her slammed into the back of her car. --The cars suffered $8,000 worth of damage, with the girl's Honda getting the brunt of it. Her car had to be towed away, and both drivers were examined by emergency personnel. --Stafford confessed to police immediately, and at least he was sorry that anyone had been injured by his prank. --He was charged with, quote, 'Putting a Foreign Substance on the Highway With Malice,' and will go to trial in January. (WTSP)
RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS
Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:
ow THIS is how you know the economy sucks: A woman selling a home in Chicago is offering a $1,000 tab for the bar across the street as a "throw in" for potential buyers. (Full Story)
A survey in Iceland found that a majority of people there believe . . . elves exist. 13% said impossible, and 19% said unlikely. But 37% said possibly, 17% said likely, and 8% said definitely. (Full Story)
A high school in England has banned makeup and mirrors . . . to help keep girls from spending all day worried about their looks? (Full Story)
An 81-year-old clown in Florida claims that she was called Lady Gaga long before the singer. (Full Story)
NAZZY’S VIDEOS OF THE DAY
#1.) The Excited Car Crash Guy Did a Second Interview . . . And It's Even Better Than the First:
If you haven't seen the video of the excited guy talking about his car crash . . . you need to. --His name is George Lindell, and he gave a ridiculous interview with the local news in Arizona the other day after a car rear-ended him, then flipped over on its side. --He almost seemed HAPPY about the whole thing, and started telling the story to a camera crew . . . while the other guy was still trapped in his car. --Well, it turns out George actually did TWO interviews back-to-back that day. --And the amazing thing about the second one is . . . he tells the story EXACTLY the same way, with just as much enthusiasm. --And just like the first time, the reporter is the one who has to mention that the other guy is still trapped. (--Search for "Arizona Man Give Best Description of a Car Accident Ever.")
#2.) David Beckham Pretended to Be a Perfume Sprayer at Target . . . And Got Women to Smell His Leg:
DAVID BECKHAM was on "Ellen" on Friday, and she dressed him up in a disguise, sent him to Target, and had him spray people with his new cologne. He was actually pretty funny . . . mostly because Ellen fed him lines through an earpiece the whole time. --And at one point, she got him to spray his cologne on his pants . . . then convince women to SMELL HIS LEG. --The disguise was a hat and glasses, so people figured out who he was after a few minutes. But not before he did some SINGING and also tried to force a guy to SHOPLIFT. (--Search for "David Beckham Goes Undercover.")
#3.) Here's What It Looks Like to Fly Around Planet Earth at Night:
Six hundred photos taken from the International Space Station were made available online. --And a science professor named James Drake spliced them all together to make a minute-long timelapse video that shows what it looks like if you could fly around the Earth like Superman. --In the video, you go over North and South America, then you see the sun come up. (--Search for "What Does It Feel Like to Fly Over Planet Earth." Check out the lightning around :20, and watch the sun rise at :46.)
Seven of the Healthiest Ways to Spend a Dollar at the Grocery Store:
According to an article on DivineCaroline.com, the easiest way to shop cheap and healthy at the grocery store is to spend as little time in the aisles as possible. --That's because things like fruits, vegetables, milk, and grains are usually in the outermost sections of the store. And the aisles in the middle of the store are mostly filled with processed food that's more expensive. --Now, here's a list of the seven healthiest ways to spend a dollar at the supermarket.
#1.) A Week's Worth of Oats. They're high in fiber and complex carbohydrates. And if you have high cholesterol, oatmeal can lower it.
#2.) A Half-Dozen Eggs. They're one of the cheapest sources of protein you can find. And research shows that the antioxidants in eggs can help prevent age-related issues with your eyesight.
#3.) Five Bananas. They're high in potassium and fiber, and they cost as little as 20 cents each. So for a dollar a week, you can have a banana at work every single day. That's the same price as one bag of chips from the vending machine.
#4.) A Can of Garbanzo Beans. Unless they're refried, basically ANY kind of beans are good for you because they have protein and fiber. But garbanzo beans are also high in iron, folate, manganese, and might lower cholesterol too.
#5.) Spinach. You can get a big bushel of it for around a buck, and it's high in vitamin C, iron, and calcium.
#6.) Yogurt. A single-serving of yogurt costs about a dollar, and it's rich in protein, vitamin A, vitamin D, calcium, and potassium.
#7.) Coffee. It's loaded with antioxidants that can help prevent heart disease and cancer. And if you make it at home, it's WAY less than a dollar a cup. (--Some of the other healthy options listed on the site include watermelon, broccoli, and whole grain pasta. You can check out their Top 20 here.) (DivineCaroline.com)
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