Friday, September 30, 2011



A Security Guard Testified that Dr. Conrad Murray Made Him Put Medicine Vials Into a Bag Before Calling 911:

Yesterday in DR. CONRAD MURRAY'S manslaughter trial, one of MICHAEL JACKSON'S security guards testified that Murray instructed him to put vials of propofol into a bag BEFORE calling 911. --ALBERTO ALVAREZ said he was in the security trailer when he got a call from Michael's assistant telling him to get to the house. --When he got there, he saw Murray heading to Michael's bedroom. He told Alvarez, quote, "Come, come quick." In the bedroom, he saw Murray giving Michael chest compressions with one hand, while Michael was still on the bed. --Alvarez said Michael was on his back with his hands extended to the sides, palms up. His mouth and eyes were open. --Alvarez noticed that Michael's daughter Paris was behind him. She was crying and screaming, "Daddy!" . . . and Michael's face was turned toward her. --Murray yelled, quote, "Don't let them see their dad that way." So Alvarez moved Paris and her brother Prince out of the room. -With Michael either dying or already dead, Murray's next act was NOT to call 911. It was to HIDE DRUGS. Alvarez said he grabbed a handful of vials, handed them to Alvarez and told him to put them in a bag. --Alvarez held open a plastic bag and Murray put the vials in it. Then he told Alvarez to put the plastic bag into a brown bag . . . and then put the brown bag into a blue bag. He did. --It was only then that Murray instructed Alvarez to call 911 . . . which he did. --Asked why he didn't question Dr. Murray, he said, quote, "In my personal experience, I believed Dr. Murray had the best intentions for Mr. Jackson. I didn't question his authority." (--You can see video of Alvarez's testimony and listen to the 911 call here.) --Also on the stand yesterday was Michael's chef, KAI CHASE. She testified that Dr. Murray was "nervous" and "frantic" . . . and that he was shouting, quote, "Get help, get security, get Prince!" --There was also drama outside the courtroom again, when a woman approached Dr. Murray in a hallway chanting, quote, "murderer" and "judgment day is coming." She was escorted away.

The Most Awesome Video of the Day: William Shatner Recording His Version of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man"!

Some things are so awesome, they're nearly beyond the understanding of mere mortals. What you are about to see reaches that level, at the very least. --It's a video of WILLIAM SHATNER in the recording studio, laying down the vocals for his version of the BLACK SABBATH classic "Iron Man". (--Check it out here.) --This is for Shatner's upcoming album, "Seeking Major Tom" . . . in which he covers an interesting variety of songs from the '70s and '80s, including David Bowie's "Space Oddity", Deep Purple's "Space Truckin'" . . . --Elton John's "Rocket Man", Thomas Dolby's "She Blinded Me with Science", Golden Earring's "Twilight Zone", Steve Miller's "Space Cowboy" and "Walking on the Moon" by the Police. --Obviously, there's a SPACE theme here. The disc is also loaded with guest stars, including Ritchie Blackmore, Peter Frampton, Sheryl Crow, Lyle Lovett, Steve Miller, Brad Paisley, Johnny Winter and Zakk Wylde. (--Check out the cover art and SAMPLES OF EVERY SONG here.)

Ashton Kutcher May Have Been Photographed with His Alleged Mistress in June:

Photos surfaced yesterday of ASHTON KUTCHER with someone who looks a lot like SARA LEAL . . . .the woman he allegedly had sex with last weekend. But these photos were taken in JUNE. (--Check 'em out here.) (Daily Mail) --Meanwhile, Ashton made his first Twitter statement about this scandal yesterday. First, he posted a link to the PUBLIC ENEMY song "Don't Believe the Hype". --Then he added, quote, "When you ASSUME to know that which you know nothing of you make an ASS out of U and ME." (--And here's a Tweet from Demi from earlier this week. Does it mean anything? Who knows.)

Mike Myers is a Dad:

MIKE MYERS is a dad for the first time. His wife Kelly Tisdale gave birth to a baby boy two weeks ago. They named him Spike. (--Which kind of falls within the realm of obnoxious celebrity baby names. But at the same time, there's a certain charm to it.)

Lindsay Lohan Made Out With Some Fashion Designer in Italy the Other Day:

You may have heard that LINDSAY LOHAN was recently hired to do an ad campaign for a German fashion designer by the name of Philipp Plein. Well, the other night in Italy, Lindsay returned the favor . . . by MAKING OUT WITH HIM. (--Check out some pics here. And we've also included some shots of Lindsay holding hands with ANOTHER GUY the following night in Paris.) (--But this guy might have just been a helper or security guy. They're holding hands, yes, but there's no real indication of romance.) (Egotastic, Celebuzz)

Taylor Lautner Doesn't Know When Girls Like Him . . . or Just His "Twilight" Character:

Poor TAYLOR LAUTNER. He can get all the girls he wants . . . but he never knows if they love him for himself . . . or for his "Twilight" character Jacob. --He says, quote, "You definitely have to deal with whether girls are interested in me or Jacob. Sometimes it's hard. Time always lets you know what a person is really like. --"The fans love the characters and they would love anyone who was playing those characters. I'm just the guy who was able to bring Jacob to life." (--Yeah, I'll take "Problems I'd KILL to Have" for $500, Alex.)

Rihanna Needed an "Emergency Bikini Wax":

RIHANNA almost had to postpone that video shoot in Ireland earlier this week, when she had trouble finding an around-the-clock BIKINI WAXER. --Rihanna didn't get to her hotel until 2:00 A.M. Monday morning . . . and she was desperately in need of some landscaping, because the shoot was scheduled for early that morning. --A source says, quote, "Her assistants got on the case quickly and called some beauticians after finding a directory on the web. It was relief all round when they finally managed to find someone."

Showbiz Photo of the Day: George Lopez Grabbing Justin Timberlake's Butt:

GEORGE LOPEZ provided us with our Showbiz Photo of the Day . . . by grabbing JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE'S butt. It happened during Justin's charity golf tournament, the Shriner's Hospital for Children Open. (--Here's the pic.) (E! Online)

Now There's a Civil War-Era Photo of a Guy Who Looks Like John Travolta . . . But That One Disappeared From E-Bay, Too:

Remember that Civil War-era photo of the guy who looked almost exactly like NICOLAS CAGE? Well, there's one of JOHN TRAVOLTA, too. --The likeness isn't nearly as perfect this time around, but there are enough similarities to make it amusing. --Here's an interesting coincidence: Like the Cage pic, the Travolta photo was for sale on eBay . . . but the listing DISAPPEARED for some reason. --The seller was only asking 50-grand for this one. The Cage photo was going for $1 million before it was taken down. (--Check out the photo, along with a screen cap of the eBay listing while it was active, here.) (New York Daily News)

Tom Brady Cut His Hair:

TOM BRADY is no longer a JUSTIN BIEBER clone. He cut his hair. (--Check out a pic here.) (New York Daily News)

The Reason Jessica Alba Named Her Daughter Haven Is Kind of Gross:

Some kids have great stories about how they got their names. JESSICA ALBA'S daughter Haven has a pretty unique one . . . but it's actually kind of gross. --Jessica says, quote, "When I delivered Haven she was born still inside the amniotic sac, which is rare. --"The doctor grabbed the nurse and said: 'Look at this!' I was in the middle of pushing and he told me to hold on a minute and not to push! He was wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt and said: 'Oh I have to get my scrubs on for this!' --"The sac burst on its own after she came out. It was a trip.--"When I was in recovery we still hadn't chosen her name. [My husband] Cash picked her up and said she came into the world in her 'safe haven' and it clicked right then for both of us."
Kim Kardashian Says She and Her Sisters are "The Biggest Trannies":

KIM KARDASHIAN says she and her sisters are TRANNIES . . . and the fault lies with their father, the late ROBERT KARDASHIAN, who hired a professional makeup artist to teach them how to apply makeup when they were kids. --She says, quote, "He said, 'My daughters are going to start to wear makeup and I want you guys to look at least presentable,' which I thought was really cool. And we've turned out to be the biggest trannies because of it." --KHLOE adds, quote, "We joke and say we are like trannies because we love hair and makeup." --The girls claim they could stop if they wanted to . . . but their public demands it. Kim says, quote, "We had like publicists and people who would tell us, 'Girls, tone it down. Stop wearing all the makeup.' --"But then we would read on our blogs . . . like in the comments and everything . . . and everyone was like, 'What lipstick is this, what mascara do you use?' We were like, 'We love makeup, so why try and be what we are not?'" (--Two things Robert Kardashian is at least partially responsible for: O.J. Simpson being acquitted of murder and Kim, Khloe and Kourtney. What a legacy.)


Joseph Gordon-Levitt Has Cancer . . . Daniel Craig Might be a Murderer . . . and Anna Faris is Desperate to Hook Up with Her Exes . . . on Film At Least:

#1.) "Dream House" (PG-13)

This one will mess with you. First Daniel Craig discovers his house was once a murder scene. Then he finds out his life with his wife and daughters might not even be real . . . and that he was in a mental institution for supposedly killing them. Rachel Weisz is his wife, and Naomi Watts is a neighbor helping to separate fantasy from reality. (Trailer)

#2.) "50/50" (R)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a guy coming to terms with cancer, and the diagnosis that he only has a 50/50 chance of surviving it. Seth Rogen plays his best friend, Anjelica Houston is his mom, Bryce Dallas Howard plays his girlfriend, and Anna Kendrick is his sexy but inexperienced therapist. (Trailer)

#3.) "What's Your Number" (R)

Anna Faris reads that women who've had more than 20 lovers are stuck being single . . . and freaks out because she's already been with 20 guys. So she vows to take another look at her exes before sleeping with anyone else. --Chris Evans is the neighbor who helps track them down, and the men from her past include Andy Samberg, "Reno 911's" Tom Lennon, and "Star Trek's" Zachary Quinto. (Trailer)

Check Out a Scene From the Movie "Butter" Where Jennifer Garner Apologizes for Being Tall, White, and Pretty:

JENNIFER GARNER is in a new movie called "Butter" that comes out three weeks from now. It's about a small town in Iowa where she and others are competing in a BUTTER SCULPTURE competition. -There's a scene from the movie on YouTube now where Garner's character is giving a speech and gives a classic quote, apologizing for being born TALL, WHITE, AND PRETTY. (--Check it out here.) --The movie also features Hugh Jackman, Olivia Wilde, and Ty Burrell from "Modern Family".

Here's How Much Different "American Pie" Cast Members Were Paid to Star in the New Movie "American Reunion":

After the third "American Pie" movie, "American Wedding", Universal started making direct-to-DVD movies under the "American Pie" banner with almost none of the original cast. The videos made some money, but they're not very good. --So Universal decided to get the entire original cast from "American Pie" back together to make a fourth theatrical film . . . called "American Reunion". And now we know how much they had to PAY all the actors to come back.

--Jason Biggs and Seann William Scott are getting paid the most, at $5 MILLION each, plus a small piece of the gross.

--Alyson Hannigan and Eugene Levy are next, getting about $3 MILLION.

--The actors who haven't gotten more famous since "Pie" . . . Chris Klein, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Natasha Lyonne, Jennifer Coolidge, Mena Suvari, and Shannon Elizabeth . . . will get $500,000 to $750,000.

--And finally, Tara Reid . . . who was once, arguably, the biggest name in the cast . . . has fallen so far that she'll get the LOWEST salary, at around $250,000.

--The film centers around all of the characters getting back together for their 10-year high school reunion. It's set to open on April 6th of next year.

The Host of "The X Factor" Stormed Off the Set of "Piers Morgan Tonight":

It seems like the only time anyone talks about "Piers Morgan Tonight" is when someone storms off "Piers Morgan Tonight". Well . . . last night, someone stormed off "Piers Morgan Tonight". So we're gonna talk about it. --STEVE JONES, the host of "The X Factor", stormed off after Piers started asking him about the different women he's been linked to . . . from Hayden Panettiere to Pamela Anderson to Halle Berry. How awful to have THAT reputation, huh? --The show will air tonight. The last person to storm off the "Piers Morgan Tonight" set was CHRISTINE O'DONNELL . . . last month, she was upset when Piers grilled her on gay marriage and her views on abstinence.

"The X Factor" Sees a Ratings Drop in its Second Week . . . Which is a Problem, Since They Weren't Happy With the Ratings the First Week:

Before "The X Factor" debuted in the U.S., SIMON COWELL said that anything less than 20 million viewers would be a FAILURE. Last week it premiered to about 12.5 million. Which, by definition, Simon must've considered a failure.--So he's really not going to be happy with this. Wednesday night's "X Factor" actually drew FEWER eyeballs than the previous week's . . . with 11.5 million total. --While those numbers aren't going to make the people behind the show very happy . . . and they're nowhere CLOSE to "American Idol" numbers . . . they're still solid enough that "The X Factor" isn't in any danger of being cancelled.

Rob Kardashian Says Married Celebrities are Hooking Up With Their "Dancing with the Stars" Pros . . . We Try to Figure Out Which Ones:

"Dancing with the Stars" has had plenty of celebrities and their professional partners hook up. They spend a LOT of time together during the season, and at least, like, 15% of that time rubbing against each other. --Yesterday, ROB KARDASHIAN said that's already happening this season. Quote, "I know some of the couples on the show, some of the celebrities that are married . . . that are having an affair with their partner." He didn't say which ones. --So now . . . it's time to SPECULATE. --Rob is out, since he's not married. Same with Kristin Cavallari, Elisabetta Canalis, Hope Solo, Ron Artest, Ricki Lake, and, yep, Chaz Bono. Carson Kressley is out, because he wouldn't want to have an affair with an icky girl. --We're also going to rule out David Arquette, because he has a new girlfriend and he and Courteney Cox are friends again . . . he wouldn't want to blow that. And J.R. Martinez has been through WAY too much for anyone to gossip about him. --That leaves us with Chynna Phillips cheating on her husband, Billy Baldwin . . . or Nancy Grace cheating on her husband, David Linch. And no matter how many nipples Nancy Grace flashes, the Chynna Phillips scenario seems more likely. --But in both cases . . . we're calling B.S. on Rob Kardashian.

Friday TV Reminders:

--"Jessie" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Disney Channel. (--Debby Ryan from "The Suite Life on Deck" stars as a country girl who finds herself working as a nanny for an unconventional family in New York City.)

--"Say Yes To The Dress: Atlanta" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on TLC.

--"CSI: New York" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Aly Michalka, from Aly & AJ and "Hellcats", guest stars as a punk rocker whose teenage stalker ends up dead.)

--"Hugh Laurie: Let Them Talk - A Celebration of New Orleans Blues" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. (--Hugh Laurie performs with Tom Jones and some other less famous musicians in New Orleans.)

--"Haven" [2nd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.

Saturday TV Reminders:

--"Grand Ole Opry Live" . . . 7:00 to 9:00 P.M. on GAC. (--James Wesley, Jason Jones, Sarah Darling and Laura Bell Bundy perform.)

--"Austin City Limits" [37th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. (--Mumford & Sons and Flogging Molly perform.)

--"'Weird Al' Yankovic Live! - The Alpocalypse Tour" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--"Weird Al" performs songs from his "Alpocalypse" album.)

--"Celine: 3 Boys and A New Show" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on OWN. (--Celine Dion has cameras follow her as she performs in Vegas and cares for her family.)

--"Celebrity Nightmares Decoded" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Bio. (--Adrianne Curry, Lark Voorhies and Stephen Baldwin examine their dreams.)

--"That Metal Show" . . . 11:00 P.M. to Midnight on VH1 Classic. (--Ratt lead singer Stephen Pearcy and Judas Priest lead singer Tim "Ripper" Owens guest.)

--"Saturday Night Live" . . . 11:30 P.M. to 1:00 A.M. on NBC. (--Melissa McCarthy guest hosts and Lady Antebellum is the musical guest.)

Sunday TV Reminders:

--"Sunday Night Football" . . . 8:20 to 11:20 P.M. Eastern on NBC. (--The Baltimore Ravens host the New York Jets at M&T Bank Stadium in Baltimore.)

--"America's Funniest Home Videos" [22nd Season Premiere] . . . 7:00 to 8:00 P.M. on ABC.

--"Day Jobs" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on GAC. (--This show reunites country stars with their pre-fame jobs. In the first episode, Trace Adkins returns to his oil-rig days.)

--"Prohibition" [Part 1 of 3] . . . 8:00 to 10:00 P.M. on PBS. (--Filmmaker Ken Burns examines the prohibition era of 1920-1933 in this three part documentary.)

--"Tough Love" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on VH1.

--"Family Guy" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Network. (--"Ringer's" Ioan Gruffudd is your guest voice narrator when a hurricane keeps the Griffins housebound.)

--"The Good Wife" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Eddie Izzard guest stars as the Queen's councilman when Alicia goes up against him regarding a civil case in a British court room via satellite.)

--"Dexter" [6th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Showtime.

--"100 Moments That Changed TV" [Parts 1 & 2] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TV Guide. (--A five-part series that counts down the landmark events of television which include Dick Clark taking over "American Bandstand", Janet Jackson's Super Bowl wardrobe malfunction, and the Nixon-Kennedy presidential debates.)

(--Part 3 will air next Sunday. You can watch two clips from the show here.)

--"Hung" [3rd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on HBO.

--"How To Make It In America" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:30 to 11:00 P.M. on HBO.

--"Homeland" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Showtime. (--Claire Danes plays a CIA agent obsessed with proving that a rescued POW (played by Damian Lewis) has become a terrorist. Mandy Patinkin plays her mentor.)

--"South Park Documentary" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--A visit to South Park Studios to see how the show is made.)

--"Around the World in 80 Ways" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on the History Channel. (--"Boston Rob" Mariano and Dennis Anderson attempt to use every mode of transportation available as they journey around the world.)

Simon Cowell Says He was Misquoted . . . He Never Called Lady Gaga and Beyoncé Boring:

Yesterday, a quote was circling around from SIMON COWELL, where he said, "If you only ever heard Lady Gaga, she's the most boring singer in the world. You've got to see her . . . you need TV. Same with Beyoncé. Or Katy Perry." --Well . . . Simon says he was MISQUOTED. His rep says, quote, "This was completely misreported. It's the complete opposite, in fact. --"Simon is a massive fan of both [Gaga and Beyoncé] and he always refers to them amongst the artists he most admires. He thinks they are two of the most interesting, talented and relevant artists today." (--We're thinking he left out Katy Perry because he was asked about Simon's comments on Gaga and Beyoncé . . . NOT as an intentional slight to Katy Perry. That seems against the spirit of this rebuttal.)

Check Out Snoop's 12-Year-Old Daughter Performing Her First Single:

SNOOP DOGG'S 12-year-old daughter, Cori B, is trying to launch a music career, and here's a video of her singing her first single, called "Do My Thing". --She's INCREDIBLY shy in an interview before she sings and the single has a REBECCA BLACK vibe . . . also, we're not sure if Cori B can actually sing well or not, because this thing has some CRAZY auto-tuning. (--Here's the video.)

Motorhead, Warrant, and Ratt Have All Released Their Own Brands of Wine?

I'm REALLY not sure if MOTORHEAD fans drink wine . . . they seem more like Miller High Life and peppermint schnapps people to me . . . but here ya go. Motorhead just launched their own brand of wine, called Motorhead Shiraz. --It's a red wine that's described as having a fruity aroma with vanilla, blackberry, plum, and licorice flavors. --LEMMY KILMISTER says, quote, "Approach it with caution. I mean, wine is deceptive. Anything can happen." --The Motorhead wine is selling online, out of the U.K., and will run $135 for a case of six bottles. (--You can buy it here.) --RATT and WARRANT are also jumping into the wine business. --Ratt has a white wine, a chardonnay, called "Body Talk" . . . and a red wine, a cabernet, called "Slip of the Lip." --Warrant had previously released a wine called Warrant Red . . . it sold out and even apparently won some taste awards from the "San Francisco Chronicle". They have a new version of Warrant Red coming out in December. (--You can buy the Ratt and Warrant wines for $20- to $25-a-bottle here.)

Scientists Have Determined That Queen's "We are the Champions" is the Catchiest Pop Song of All Time:

QUEEN and the VILLAGE PEOPLE are CONTAGIOUS. And that's not an off-color gay sex joke. It's a scientific fact. --A team from Goldsmiths University in London created a formula to figure out the CATCHIEST pop songs of all time. And both of those bands had the two songs at the top. --The formula analyzed everything from the pitch and harmony to the length and complexity of the musical phrasing and the quality of the singing. And it determined that "We are the Champions" by Queen is THE catchiest pop song of all time. --"YMCA" by the Village People was second . . . "Fat Lip" by SUM 41 was third . . . and "The Final Countdown" by EUROPE was fourth. --Other songs that made the list include "Brown Eyed Girl" by VAN MORRISON and "Livin' on a Prayer" by BON JOVI. --In general, the two constants that kept coming up are that the catchiest songs have a MALE vocalist . . . with a higher-pitched voice.


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

In case you missed this, SETH ROGEN was on "Conan" Wednesday night . . . and he revealed that he's a BEAR ICON in the gay community. In fact, he showed off some NUDE PICTURES of himself that one of his admirers drew. (Video)

A government agency in Brazil wants a lingerie ad featuring GISELE BUNDCHEN taken off the air . . . because it's sexist. (Full Story)

Everyone's claiming that JASON DERULO and JORDIN SPARKS are a couple. But Jason says they're NOT. (Full Story)

Check out some pictures of PINK with her adorable baby girl. (Photos)

KESHA walked through an airport in Brazil with a plush hammerhead shark tied to her face. (Photos)

The METALLICA and LOU REED collaboration album called "Lulu" will be released November 1st in the U.S. and October 31st in the rest of the world. (Full Story)

Listen to SUSAN BOYLE covering "Enjoy the Silence" by DEPECHE MODE . . . this will be on her new album that comes out November 1st. (Full Story)

DARYL HALL says that he and JOHN OATES aren't going to be working together again, quote, "We're pretty much on to our own thing now." (Full Story)

Yesterday morning, T.I. became a FREE MAN when he was released from a halfway house in Atlanta. (Full Story)

DMX says that if he goes to prison for 20 years and gets out when he's 60, he'll still be in good shape. (Full Story)

SAMUEL L. JACKSON ended up with a Jheri curl in "Pulp Fiction" instead of an afro because a production assistant bought the wrong wig from a wig store. (Full Story)


Americans' Biggest Office Pet Peeve Is . . . People Stealing Their Food From the Office Fridge:

The social networking site LinkedIn surveyed members around the world to find out their biggest pet peeves at work. --And, worldwide, the thing that office workers hate more than anything else is . . . when coworkers don't take ownership for their actions. --The next four biggest pet peeves are: People who complain all the time, dirty common areas, meetings that start late or run long, and people who don't respond to email. --There were big differences by country. Like the nation of deliciously chubby people that we are, two in three Americans complained about people stealing their food from the office fridge. That was about 13% higher than the rest of the world. --One in three people worldwide hate overly revealing clothes in the office. Twice as many women as men listed revealing clothes as a pet peeve. --Japanese workers were twice as likely as the rest of the world to complain about office pranks. Employees in India were 23% more annoyed by their coworkers' ringtones than the rest of the planet. --In general, Indian workers were the grumpiest. Of the 38 behaviors listed, the average Indian worker complained about 19 of them. Italian workers were the most laid back. On average, they only listed 15 pet peeves. (Huffington Post)

Half of All People Need Coffee During the Workday . . . and Scientists and Lab Techs Drink the Most:

Yesterday was National Coffee Day. To celebrate, Dunkin' Donuts and CareerBuilder released the results of their annual survey on coffee drinkers at work. --Nearly half of all U.S. workers say they're less productive on the job if they don't have coffee. 46% said they needed a cup to get started. And 34% say they need a cup to "get through the day." --61% of coffee drinkers said that one cup wasn't enough and they needed at least two cups a day. 28% drink three cups a day. --Younger people drink coffee for a different reason than older workers. Workers aged 18 to 24 said that coffee has helped their career, because it gives them an opportunity to network with other coworkers at the coffee pot. --Scientists and lab techs drink more coffee than other professions, making them the most coffee-dependent job. They finished ahead of marketing people, public relations professionals, and teachers. --Hotel workers, attorneys, and judges are the professions most likely to take their coffee black. HR people are most likely to take cream and sugar. Editors, writers, and government workers are the most likely to add flavor to their coffee. (

The Average Person Feels "Rich" At $80,000-a-Year:

Here's some good news. You don't need to be a millionaire to feel rich. You don't even need to be a hundred-thousandaire. Basically, you just need enough money so that all your bills are paid and you have some left over. --A new study found that the threshold where the average person said they felt "rich" was making $80,000-a-year. -People who made between $39,000 and $80,000 didn't classify themselves as "rich" . . . in fact, 44% said they were POOR. Only 1% of people making over $80,000 considered themselves poor. --Interestingly enough, people making under $39,000 were more likely to say they're living COMFORTABLY than people making $39,000 to $80,000 . . . probably because they've done a better job adjusting to life within their means. (Daily Mail)

The Banks are About to Start Screwing You With a $5 Fee Just to Use Your Debit Card . . . Here's What You Need to Know:

Looks like it's time to start storing all your cash in your mattress again. Remember those banks we bailed out? They still want to hold your money for you . . . but now when you take some OUT, they want to keep a piece for themselves. --The latest? Bank of America . . . the largest bank in the country . . . just announced that starting next year, they'll charge a $5 monthly fee for you to use your debit card. --That's right: If you use your debit card for anything other than taking money out of an ATM, a $5 charge will be added to your account that month. --And they're not alone. Other giant banks, like Chase and Wells Fargo, are testing debit card fees and could roll them out soon. Other smaller banks have already started instituting them. This is the airline baggage fees all over again. --The banks say the fees are to make up for new federal limits on how much they can charge merchants for taking credit cards. Did I mention we BAILED THESE GUYS OUT!?! --New rules say that a bank will only be able to charge a merchant up to 24 cents each time you buy something with a debit card. The current average is 44 cents. --A study by found that only 45% of checking accounts in the U.S. are free with no strings attached. They also found that 66% of people said they'd strongly consider not using their debit card if their bank charged a fee. (Wall Street Journal)

A Study Finds the Age When People are Most Likely to Succeed on a Diet:

According to a new study, the AGE when people are most likely to succeed on a diet is . . . 28. So, um, sorry if you really want to lose some weight and you're older than that. Embrace your chubbiness. Lord knows I'D like to embrace it. --Researchers say that 28 is the perfect sweet spot for dieting. You have enough money to eat right . . . enough time to hit the gym . . . your metabolism is still strong . . . you're still totally vain . . . and you probably don't have multiple kids. --The researchers found people in their early 20s don't have the discipline to lose weight . . . people in their 30s are too busy . . . and people in their 40s and 50s don't have the same motivation to get a leaner body. (ANI)

The Only Group That Uses Twitter More than 18-to-29-Year-Olds Is . . . Congress:

Most people don't think of Congress as being hip or cutting-edge, but a new survey found that they're more plugged in than people in their 20s. --According to an Associated Press survey, 441 members of Congress have Facebook profiles. That's five out of every six members. And it's 8% more than the percentage of young adults between the ages of 18 and 29 who are on Facebook. --When it comes to Twitter, our Congressional representatives are way cooler than the millennial generation: 433 members are on Twitter, or four out of every five. Only 18% of adults under 30 have Twitter accounts. --Republicans are more active tweeters than Democrats. 86% of House Republicans are on Twitter, compared to 75% of Democrats. 87% of Republican Senators have Twitter accounts, compared to 80% of Democrats. --Of course, just because they're ON social networks doesn't mean they really know how to use them. The study found that most of the tweets and status updates from Congress are dry policy talking points. --One third of 18-to-29-year-olds have tried to contact government officials online, so according to the study, if Congress was more interactive on social networks, they might be able to reach their younger followers. (Associated Press)

Website of the Day: Search 500 Million Tweets to See When People Tweet About Being Drunk, Hungry, or Tired:

Sociologists at Cornell University have been doing research on how people's moods change throughout the week. To do it, they collected 500 million Tweets from 2.4 million Twitter users. --And now they've made their database available to everyone. You can go to the website and search any word or phrase to see when people are most likely to use it on Twitter. --For instance, people are most likely to include the word "drunk" in their Tweets at about 2:00 A.M. on Sunday morning. -"Sex" hits its peak at about 1:00 A.M. on Thursdays. Strangely, a common term for oral sex peaks a day earlier, at 1:00 A.M. Wednesday. A crude term for self-pleasure is used most often early on Saturday mornings. --In fact, if you compare graphs on Twitter's usage of "drunk" and "sex", you'll see that they both hit peaks and valleys at about the same time every day. Also, "drunk" Tweets peak about 6 hours earlier than "hung over" does. --People tend to Tweet about "eating" about an hour before "crying" for some reason. --Just about every common curse word peaks each day shortly after midnight, with just after midnight on Sunday having the highest usage. --People Tweet about being "sick" at about 7:00 A.M. Monday morning. (Gawker)

A New Warner Brothers Show Will Only Air on Facebook . . . and Will Use Photos and Music From Your Profile:

Warner Brothers is in the process of developing a show called "Aim High", which is about a kid who's also a spy. --The show will star Jackson Rathbone, who played Jasper in the "Twilight" movies, and Aimee Teegarden, who played Coach Taylor 's daughter Julie on "Friday Night Lights". --Why should this get you excited? Well, aside from the potential for zany hijinks from a secret agent kid, there's the fact that this show won't air on television. --Instead, Warner Brothers is planning to make "Aim High" the first show to air exclusively on Facebook. -Not only that, but if you download their app, the show could use your Facebook profile to help with some of the background. For instance, if you mention that you like a certain song, the show might have that song playing in the background. --Even creepier than that, the show might use YOUR PHOTOS for set dressing. Pictures on people's desks will be actual photos users uploaded. During student council elections at the spy kid's school, your photo might be used as someone's campaign poster. --The show is scheduled to premiere on October 18th. (ZD Net) (--You can check out the show's Facebook page here.)

People Who Get Embarrassed Easily Are More Generous, and More Likely to Be Faithful to Their Partner:

If you often feel flustered in social situations and always seem to say the wrong thing . . . it means you're a pretty good person. According to a new study, anyway. --Researchers from Berkeley found that the more often a person felt embarrassed, the more generous they were, and the more faithful they were in relationships. --Psychologist Robb Willer ran the study. He explained that embarrassment is a, quote, "sort of social apology. [As in,] 'I didn't mean to do that. I'm actually a very social person, very reliable, someone you can trust.'" --The researchers watched college students and volunteers talk about embarrassing moments, like breaking wind in public and mistaking a heavy woman for being pregnant. --The volunteers who blushed the most and made the most ashamed gestures were most likely to share their rewards in a game that measured levels of altruism. --In other words, the people who were most likely to be embarrassed were also the most generous. --Volunteers who were most easily embarrassed were also more likely to be monogamous in relationships, and were the most social with an actor who pretended to be another volunteer. (Toronto Star)

This Year's "Ig Nobel" Award Winners Include a Wasabi Fire Alarm, a Study on Beetles Having Sex With Beer Bottles, and Doomsday Predictors:

For the past 21 years, the "Ig Nobel" prizes have been handed out to the strangest, most ridiculous, and yeah, usually DUMBEST advances in science. The 2011 awards were presented at Harvard last night . . . here are some of the winners.

--Physiology. A study that determined, quote, "no evidence of contagious yawning in the red-footed tortoise."

--Chemistry. A Japanese team who created a fire alarm that wakes people up by releasing WASABI.

--Medicine. A study that looked at the effects of holding in pee. Turns out needing to pee and holding it in affects your ability to make decisions as much as being slightly DRUNK or being awake for 24 hours straight.

--Literature. A theory by an author named John Perry on procrastination. He determined that to be a high achiever, you should always work on something important . . . as a way of avoiding work on something even more important.

--Biology. A study that found beetles try to mate with some types of beer bottles.

--Physics. A study trying to figure out why discus throwers get dizzy but hammer throwers don't.

--Mathematics. The award went to doomsday predictors throughout history . . . including the Mayans and the guy this year who thought the world was ending in May . . . and told them to be more careful when they make calculations. (CBS News)

Here are America's Top 10 Most Mustache-Friendly Cities . . . Really:

There is such a thing as the American Mustache Institute. We know that now because they just published the results of a TWO-YEAR STUDY . . . to determine which U.S. cities are the most MUSTACHE FRIENDLY. --And while the study is clearly tongue-in-cheek . . . it could be really useful info if you're thinking of relocating AND growing a killer handlebar mustache. --The study bases a city's mustache friendliness on things like the number of restaurants serving Miller Lite on tap, and the number of monster trucks, motorcycles, and ATVs per capita. Here are the top 10:

#1.) Chicago

#2.) Houston

#3.) Pittsburgh

#4.) Oklahoma City

#5.) Detroit

#6.) Milwaukee

#7.) Cleveland

#8.) New York

#9.) Huntsville, Alabama

#10.) Tampa-St. Petersburg

--Of the 100 cities included in the study, Los Angeles came in dead last as the least mustache-friendly city. (The Consumerist) (--Here's the full top 100.)
A Baseball Website Crunched the Numbers . . . and Says You Should Root For the Arizona Diamondbacks:

Baseball playoffs start today, and the website Beyond the Box Score created a mathematical model to help you pick a team, assuming yours didn't make it. --The site's run by the kind of baseball stat nerds you'd see in the movie "Moneyball". (--That's the Brad Pitt movie out right now, where the broke Oakland A's build a winning team using statistical analysis.) --They created something called the 'Rootability of Other Teams', or ROOT for short. It's based on the fact that people love underdogs. So teams like the Arizona Diamondbacks and the Milwaukee Brewers get points, because they've improved a lot since last year. --Teams that came from behind to win a spot in the playoffs, like the Cardinals and Rays, get even more points. --And teams that hire economists instead of ex-players, and make lots of decisions based on stats, get points too. It's something the site calls a Nerd Score. --Finally, teams with obnoxious fans, like the Yankees, lose points just for being unlikeable. --Based on the results of their score, the team you should adopt for the playoffs is . . . the Arizona Diamondbacks. In the American League, you should pull for the Tampa Bay Rays. --The teams that scored the worst are the Yankees and Phillies. (--Which was a little unfair, since one of the calculations was "subtract 10 points if the team is the Yankees." Without that, they would've been in the middle of the pack.) (Beyond the Box Score)

A Vegetarian Dating Site is in Trouble with an Advertising Watchdog Group . . . Because Too Many of Their Members Eat Meat:

A British dating site got in trouble with an advertising watchdog group, because it was marketed as a way to meet fellow vegetarians . . . even though most of its members ate meat. --The home page for has a picture of a woman feeding a man a slice of pepper and promises to help people, quote, "Find Veggie Dates." --The page used to also say you could, quote, "Meet single vegetarian men and women looking for love." But that line had to be changed, because the site was censured by Britain's Advertising Standards Authority. --The trouble started when one member complained to the Authority that most of the profiles were for people who ate meat. Fifty member profiles were studied, and only two of them said they were vegetarian or vegan. --VeggieDates' parent company, Global Personals, runs about 6,000 dating and friendship sites, and they all share the same database of profiles. The site originally planned to allow members to limit their search to vegetarians, but that was, quote, "not possible." --The site claimed that they never used the word "only" when referring to vegetarians. The Advertising Standards Authority didn't buy it. They said VeggieDates was still misleading and had to change. --The site now claims it will match you with other people who, quote, "lead a healthy lifestyle." (Guardian)


Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Photo of the Day: A British guy went swimming at a beach in South Africa that was closed because of three shark sightings . . . and a great white bit off his right leg below the knee. (Full Story)

An insurance company launched a program to protect pizza delivery drivers called "Safety, Loss, Insurance, Coverage, Expertise" . . . or SLICE. (Full Story)

Finally a college admissions program that makes sense: Seton Hall is offering a 66% discount . . . for smart applicants. (Full Story)

"The Onion" pulled off a pretty good hoax yesterday, using articles, videos, Twitter, and Facebook to talk about how Congressional leaders were holding people hostage . . . literally. But some people weren't amused by the satire. (Full Story)

According to survey of CFOs, here are the most common reason why new hires don't work out at a company, including a mismatched skill set, unclear performance expectations, personality conflicts, and failure to fit in. (Full Story)

The best city for senior citizens is . . . Minneapolis. Followed by Boston, Pittsburgh, and Cleveland. The ratings were based on healthcare, economy, social life, and longevity. (Full Story)

A new dating site called helps you find your match using numerology. (Full Story)

A year after an 87-year-old English woman died there, the hospital sent her family a letter . . . offering her penis extension surgery. (Full Story)

A school board member in Massachusetts is in trouble for opening a meeting with a magic trick . . . where he made it look like he removed another member's bra. (Full Story)


#1.) Andy Rooney's Random Comments . . . Without Any Context:

This Sunday is ANDY ROONEY'S last episode of "60 Minutes", so posted a montage on YouTube called "Andy Rooney Out of Context". It's just random comments from Rooney. But without any context, they're even more ridiculous.
-Here are just a few of the things he says: He thinks the staple remover is a better invention than the staple . . . he wishes telephones made a different sound . . . and he likes roasting marshmallows, but rarely has access to a fire. #2.) The Gay Soldier Who Came Out to His Dad on YouTube Also Called His Mom . . . But She Didn't Take the News as Well: Remember the soldier who called his dad from Germany to tell him he's gay? He did it the day 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' ended. Well, it turns out he called his mom 30 minutes later, and she didn't take the news quite as well. He posted the video yesterday. --She's obviously a lot more religious than the dad is, and basically says she's worried he'll go to hell. But she also says she still loves him, and always will. --The video is over 20 minutes long, but he breaks the news to her about two-and-a-half minutes in. (--Search for "Telling Mom I'm Gay Live.")

#3.) A Drunk Guy at a Carnival Got Stuck in a Spinning Tunnel:

Have you ever been to a fair with a funhouse that had one of those spinning tunnels? They're hard enough to walk through when you're sober. But there's a video on YouTube of a guy trying to do it. And according to the video, he's WASTED. --He just keeps standing up and falling down for a full minute. (--Search for "Wasted Man's Nightmare Stuck in a Funhouse.")

#4.) If You Think the Shake Weight Ads Don't Have Enough Sexual Innuendo . . . Check Out a New Ad for the "Free Flexor":

First, we had the Shake Weight . . . which is probably the most sexual piece of workout equipment in history. But now there's a new one called the "Free Flexor," and the ad says it's specially designed for men. --Basically, it's a flexible dumbbell. And instead of doing curls, you hold it out in front of your body and swing the ends around. And it's impossible to watch the ad without thinking of a guy pleasuring himself. (--Search for "Free Flexor Official Video Ad.")

#5.) "Toddlers and Tiaras" 20 Years from Now . . . with Ashley Tisdale:

"Toddlers and Tiaras" is that annoying show on TLC about little girls in beauty pageants. And a girl named Makenzie is the most famous one, because at age four, she was already a total primadonna. --And there's a new parody on with ASHLEY TISDALE from "High School Musical" playing Makenzie in 20 years. And she's still EXACTLY the same . . . and still competes in pageants against five-to-seven-year-olds. --LEAH REMINI plays the mom, who says Makenzie has been in 5,000 pageants, and won over 3,000 of them. Oh, and at age 25, she still can't live without her pacifier. (--Search for "Toddlers and Tiaras with Ashley Tisdale.")

#6.) Check Out a Guy Riding a Buffalo, Fighting an Indian, and Being Attacked by a Mountain Lion . . . All Set to a Ridiculous Song:

There's a horrible movie from 1978 you've probably never heard of called "Buffalo Rider" . . . and the main character is a half-cowboy, half-hippie who rides around on a buffalo looking for adventure. --I'm only mentioning this because someone found the footage on YouTube, and wrote a ridiculous song about it called "Guy on a Buffalo". --There are two videos, with two different versions of the song: In the first one, the guy rides around on the buffalo, chases a bear, and beats up an Indian --But the second one is even better: He finds a baby in a field, tries to ride the buffalo across a river, then goes hunting and randomly gets attacked by a mountain lion. (--Search for "Guy on a Buffalo Episode 1" and "Guy on a Buffalo Episode 2." In the second one, the mountain lion attacks at 1:24.)

#7.) Bad Lip Reading . . . The Rick Perry Edition:

If you haven't heard of it, there's a website called Bad Lip Reading that takes songs and speeches and dubs in nonsense, like messing with one of President Obama's debt speeches, and making "Boom Boom Pow" by the Black Eyed Peas a song about poop. --But their best video is their newest one, where Rick Perry announces his campaign for the Republican Presidential nomination . . . and talks about how he wants to "save a pretzel for the gas jets." (???) (--Search for "Rick Perry - A BLR Soundbite".)

Five More Things Guys Immediately Notice About a Woman:

We've had lists like this before, but apparently guys are more perceptive than you might think. Here's an article from "Cosmo" on five things men immediately notice about a woman.

#1.) How Thick Her Hair Is. "Cosmo" says it dates back to cavemen. And guys like women with thick hair because it's a sign they're healthy . . . a.k.a. "shaggable."

#2.) If Her Smile Looks Genuine. If it does, you'll look relaxed and fun. If it doesn't, you'll look fake. --In fact, fakeness is also on the list. They say guys immediately notice things like fake eyelashes and hair extensions. And they make you seem high-maintenance. --With that said, a lot of guys are attracted to that high-maintenance look. They just might not want to get into a serious relationship.

#3.) How High or Low Her Voice Is. Studies have shown men are attracted to slightly higher voices, probably because it's a subconscious sign of youth and fertility.

#4.) Her Hip-to-Waist Ratio. Once again, it has to do with evolution. As if you didn't know, men tend to like women with hips that are noticeably wider than their waists. It's a primal thing that has to do with your child-bearing hips being able to give them kids.

--Obviously, there's not much you can do about your hip-to-waist ratio other than lose a little weight. But "Cosmo" suggests wearing a wide belt to emphasize the hourglass shape guys like.

#5.) Her Eyes. "Cosmo" says guys notice your eyes more than anything else. And dramatic eye makeup makes them zero in on your eyes even more. (Cosmopolitan)

Five Tips for Meeting Your Girlfriend's Friends:

If you've been dating your girlfriend for a while, and you're dreading the day she's going to make you meet her friends, we're here to help. --We've got five tips from "Ask Men" on what to do when you meet your girlfriend's friends for the first time. And really, this is just good advice for when you meet people in general, so listen up . . .

#1.) Remember Their Names. Make sure you get every one of her friends' names when you're introduced. A lot of people are too nervous or distracted when they're meeting people to pull this one off. --Then, make sure you address her friends by name at least once while you're talking to them for the first time. It'll make an impression on them, and help you to remember. Just don't do it too much, or you'll sound like a car salesman.

#2.) Offer to Buy a Round of Drinks. It's just a nice thing to do, and it goes a long way when you're trying to impress someone.

#3.) Lay Off the PDA: If you're all up on your girl in front of her friends, it's going to send the WRONG message. Kissing her on the cheek or holding her hand is fine, but anything more than that and you might come off as sleazy.

#4.) Talk to Each Person Equally. If you're out with a few people, try to interact with everyone equally. Ask them individually about their interests, what they do for a living, and how they met your girlfriend. That way no one feels left out.

#5.) Be Chivalrous. The goal is to put your best foot forward, without it looking FORCED. So hold the door open and just generally be polite . . . it's not really rocket-science. (Ask Men)


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