Wednesday, October 19, 2011


Some Guy Claims Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher Aren't Legally Married:

A guy named Marc Aisen is suing several Kabbalah members . . . including MADONNA and ASHTON KUTCHER . . . for racketeering and conspiracy. --And in his lawsuit, he claims that Ashton and DEMI MOORE aren't even legally married because they got hitched in a "traditional Kabbalah wedding" . . . which, according to him, DOESN'T EVEN EXIST. (--If you'd like, you can read more about this at

Karina Smirnoff Admits She and Tigers Pitcher Brad Penny Postponed Their Wedding Because of Work:

"Dancing With the Stars" minx KARINA SMIRNOFF confirmed yesterday that she and Detroit Tigers pitcher BRAD PENNY postponed their wedding because of work commitments. --She said, quote, "It's just this season is going so well for me and [partner] J.R. [Martinez] and I want to be able to concentrate 100% here. And at the same time, concentrate on planning the wedding. So together, it's just impossible. --"And Brad's been gone for two months playing in Detroit . . . he's just coming back tonight. So it's all good. We're just going to do it a little later." (--Here's video of Karina saying basically the same thing on the set of "Dancing With the Stars".)

Here's Video of Shia LaBeouf Being Punched in the Face:

Video surfaced yesterday of SHIA LABEOUF getting punched in the face by a husky, shirtless dude outside a Vancouver bar last week. (--You can see it here.) --Whatever happened between these two started inside a bar called the Cinema Public House. There's no word why they went after each other, but Shia reportedly threw the guy to the ground. --They were both kicked out, and that's when the other man took off his shirt and attacked Shia . . . clocking him in the face several times. --In the video, you see that Shia got up off the ground and tried to go after his assailant, but two other guys held him back. One of them told Shia, quote, "You gotta lay low right now." --Shia is in Vancouver filming a movie called "The Company You Keep". He's been a regular at the Cinema Public House since he arrived. (--Yesterday, Shia was seen riding his bike through the city. He wasn't busted up or anything. Check out some pics.) (TMZ)

Michelle Obama Doesn't Mind Her Daughters Watching "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" . . . As Long As They Learn the Right Lessons From It:

Here's a good example of how ridiculously EVERYWHERE the KARDASHIANS are: --Even PRESIDENT OBAMA'S daughters, 10-year-old Sasha and 13-year-old Malia, watch their stupid reality show, "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" on Sunday nights. --But MICHELLE OBAMA says she only lets them on the condition that they learn the right lessons from it. And we should probably note that the president himself isn't a fan. --Michelle says, quote, "Barack really thinks some of the Kardashian . . . when they watch that stuff . . . he doesn't like that as much. --"But I sort of feel like if we're talking about it, and I'm more concerned with how they take it in . . . what did you learn when you watched that. And if they're learning the right lessons, like, that was crazy, then I'm like, okay."

Reese Witherspoon Joked About Making Out With Jennifer Aniston:

On Monday, JENNIFER ANISTON was honored at "Elle" magazine's annual Women in Hollywood Tribute. Her good friend REESE WITHERSPOON introduced her . . . and jokingly "revealed" that she and Jennifer like to MAKE OUT.--She said, quote, "On one hand, she is this gorgeous breathtaking beauty that men lose their thought process and their speech patterns [over]. I've actually seen this, it's incredible when they see her. And, on the other hand, she is a woman who lets you in. --"There's not that many people actually that have this incredible combination of sex appeal and complete lovability. You just want to get your nails done with her, and you want to make out with her at the same time . . . at least I do! --"And that's what we do sometimes on Saturdays. First we get our nails done, then we make out! It's totally awesome. That's because she's MY friend, not yours!" Says Steve Jobs is the Most Influential Man of 2011: has dropped its list of the Top 49 Most Influential Men of 2011. STEVE JOBS is #1. Here's the Top 10 . . .

#1.) Steve Jobs

#2.) SEAL Team 6

#3.) Google co-founder Larry Page

#4.) Warren Buffett

#5.) Kanye West

#6.) Mohamed Bouazizi (--He's the Tunisian man who set himself on fire in a protest that many people believe helped start the "Arab Spring".)

#7.) Prince William

#8.) The group of hackers known as Anonymous

#9.) Ryan Gosling

#10.) Argentine soccer star Lionel Messi

(--Also making the list were Jon Stewart, Charlie Sheen, George Clooney, President Obama, Ashton Kutcher, Mark Zuckerberg, Tom Brady, Justin Timberlake, Simon Cowell, and even "Game of Thrones" star Peter Dinklage.) (--Check out the complete list here.)

Will Smith Now Owns a Piece of the Philadelphia 76ers:

WILL SMITH and his wife JADA PINKETT have purchased a minority stake in the Philadelphia 76ers. Will is a Philly native. --Upon hearing the news, Sixers guard EVAN TURNER Tweeted, quote, "I think it's dope that the fresh prince is one of our new owners. Maybe Willow can perform at halftime." (--Several years ago, JAY-Z bought a stake in the New Jersey Nets . . . who'll become the Brooklyn Nets next year.)

The Probation Department Thinks Lindsay Lohan Is Doing Okay . . . But Prosecutors Want Her Back in Jail:

LINDSAY LOHAN has a status hearing today, and the probation department is reportedly in her corner. --Despite allegedly being bounced from the women's shelter where she was supposed to do the bulk of her community service, a source in the department told TMZ that she's still on track to complete her hours within the year she was given. --There have also been reports that Lindsay has been skipping out on court-ordered weekly psychiatric appointments. But TMZ says her shrink is satisfied with how things are going. --But the prosecutors at the L.A. City Attorney's Office will reportedly argue that Lindsay violated her probation by being booted from the women's shelter, and she needs to go BACK TO JAIL. --Lindsay is now doing her community service at the Red Cross, and her rep says she's been going EVERY DAY, and, quote, "working diligently to fulfill the other requirements of her probation." (--Meanwhile, Lindsay reportedly donated $50,000 to a charity called The Baby and I Foundation, in honor of her mother DINA.) (--A source says, quote, "Her main motivating factor was that she hoped to make children's lives easier by way of their own mothers, as her own mom has done for her.")
Kelsey Grammer is Producing a Show About a Guy Whose Ex-Wife Is Driving Him Nuts:

No one will ever have to ask where the inspiration for THIS came from: KELSEY GRAMMER is producing a comedy about a man who's married to a younger woman . . . and has an ex-wife who's CONSTANTLY DRIVING HIM CRAZY. (???) --Fox is currently considering it. Kelsey will NOT star.

Check Out A Video of Someone Dressed Like the Pixar Lamp:

This might be the most ingenious Halloween costume I've ever seen . . . --Last year, someone dressed up as the PIXAR LAMP. They put a brief video on YouTube. We don't know why it took so long for it to come to our attention, but we're loving it. (--Check it out here.) --The Pixar lamp has a name, by the way. It's LUXO JR.


Eleven Celebrities Who've Had Encounters with the Supernatural:

A website called has put together a list of 11 Celebrities Who Have Had Real-Life Ghostly Encounters. Here they are . . .

--JENNA BUSH: Hers happened in the White House. She claimed that '20s-era music would often emanate from the fireplace in her bedroom. Her sister BARBARA allegedly heard it, too.

--ANNA NICOLE SMITH: This one might be a little hard to buy . . . since Anna claimed she regularly HAD SEX with a ghost.

--KATE HUDSON once claimed that she frequently saw a ghost with no face . . . and was also once visited by the spirit of her grandmother.

--NICOLAS CAGE was staying in the attic at his uncle FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA'S house one time when he encountered the ghost of a woman with "big hair". He also owned a supposedly haunted house in New Orleans for a while.

--MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY says he has a ghost in his house. He calls her Madame Blue. They get along fine . . . and he thinks it might have something to do with the fact that he's naked all the time.

--When KEANU REEVES was five, he and his sister saw a ghost in their house. It wore a white, double-breasted suit, but had no legs.

--KISS guitarist ACE FREHLEY claims a ghost once grabbed a book off the top of a water cooler and threw it at him. It hit him in the head.

--When TAYLOR MOMSEN'S elderly neighbor died, she went into the woman's house to do some ghost-hunting. She claims to have snapped two photos: One of a disembodied hand on a typewriter, and another of the woman's whole body visible in a window.

--PATRICK STEWART claims to have seen a ghost onstage while performing at the Haymarket Theatre in London. He and co-star IAN MCKELLEN later found out that a long-dead actor by the name of John Baldwin Buckstone still inhabits the building.

--ALYSON HANNIGAN claims that a ghost lives with her, her husband and their daughter.

--JOE HILL . . . the son of STEPHEN KING . . . once spent a night at the Hotel Bethlehem in Pennsylvania, which actually BRAGS about its ghosts. Joe woke in the middle of the night feeling more terrified than he'd ever been in his life. He was convinced there was something sitting on the end of his bed.

(--You can read these stories in a little more detail here.)


Did Angels Star Howie Kendrick and His Wife Make an 8-Year-Old Boy Cry?

Anaheim Angels second baseman HOWIE KENDRICK and his wife are accused of making an 8-year-old boy cry after cussing him out for asking Howie to sign a baseball card. --Orange County resident Shelly Meagher says Kendrick and his family moved into her neighborhood for the baseball season . . . and HER family was "respectful" and didn't bother them all summer. --But last month, as the Kendricks were in the process of moving, Shelly's 8-year-old son . . . who's a huge Angels fan . . . went to their house and asked for his signature. And that's when things went sour. --Shelly says, quote, "Howie refused saying, 'It's not going to happen' and that we were rude for asking." --Then Howie's wife came out and said, quote, "I can't believe you're still standing here. This is really rude and it's not going to happen. It's sad that you're still standing here." --Later on, Shelly's husband drove by Howie's house and said, quote, "I hope that makes you feel good, making my 8-year-old son cry. You have kids too, I would think you would never want someone to do that to them." --To which Howie replied, quote, "Have a nice day."

Here's a Video Montage of 18 People, One Horse, and a Camel Getting Punched in the Face:

There's a video montage of 20 people being punched in the face. In movies, of course. --Actually, it's 18 people, one camel and one horse. (--The camel punch is from "Conan the Barbarian". The horse punch is from "Blazing Saddles".) --And if you want to get REALLY technical, it's a horse, a camel and 17 people being punched in the face . . . and one woman being SLAPPED in the face. (--There are no closed fists in the "Airplane" clip.) (--Here's the clip.) (--Other movies represented include "Fight Club", "Groundhog Day", "Happy Gilmore", "Independence Day", "Slapshot", "The Hangover", a couple "Rocky" movies and "Back to the Future".)

Hugh Jackman Passed on James Bond . . . Because He Was Already Wolverine:

DANIEL CRAIG might not have gotten the part of James Bond if it wasn't for Wolverine. --HUGH JACKMAN says he was being considered for the part of 007 in "Casino Royale" . . . but he took his name out of the running because he was already Wolverine. --He says, quote, "I got a call from my agent saying, 'There is some possible interest in you for Bond. Are you interested?' At the time, I wasn't. --"I was about to shoot 'X-Men 2' and Wolverine had become this thing in my life. I didn't want to be doing two such iconic characters at once." --He adds, quote, "I think every male at some point thinks about playing James Bond. So it was not right then, but it may be right if it comes back." (--Speaking of Hugh . . . he just got a new co-star in the upcoming movie version of "Les Miserables". ANNE HATHAWAY has signed on to play Fantine.) (--Jackman is playing Jean Valjean . . . and RUSSELL CROWE is playing the part of Inspector Javert. In the 1998 film version those three roles were played by Uma Thurman, Liam Neeson and Geoffrey Rush.)


Chaz Bono For the Win!!! At Least For One More Week:

CHAZ BONO just keeps getting SEXIER AND SEXIER . . . and America is feelin' it. --Because Chaz has survived yet another elimination on "Dancing With the Stars" thanks to some AMAZING BOOTY-SHAKING Monday night. (--You can see that booty-shaking in this recap of Monday night's dancing. Chaz happens at about the 54-minute mark.) --It wasn't all good news for the LGBT community, though . . . because gay superstar CARSON KRESSLEY took the fall. (--At least one of the GOOD dancers didn't have to leave tonight. But after Carson, NANCY GRACE is the only contestant left who's at least somewhat close to Chaz's level.) (--And if he outlasts her, then he's head-to-head with Ricki Lake, J.R. Martinez, Hope Solo, David Arquette and Rob Kardashian . . . all of whom are CONSIDERABLY better dancers than Chaz.)

Which Network Will Charlie Sheen's New Show End Up At?

CHARLIE SHEEN'S new sitcom "Anger Management" still doesn't have a home . . . but it sounds like negotiations with various networks are heating up. So where will it end up? --Word has it that Charlie has pitched the show to all the major broadcast networks except CBS, which of course is the home of "Two and a Half Men". --There's also the possibility that it could end up on cable. Supposedly, there have been talks with Comedy Central, USA, FX and TV Land. --A so-called "source" tells E! Online that Comedy Central, quote, "really wants the show," but there's no deal in place yet. --Obviously, Charlie is probably very interested in the possibility of having "Anger Management" become bigger than "Two and a Half Men" . . . but in order to do that, it'd almost certainly have to be on a major network, not on cable. --For what it's worth, "Two and a Half Men" has been slipping a little in the ratings. After the new season with ASHTON KUTCHER debuted to 28.7 million viewers, the last four episodes have had 20.5 million, 17.7 million, 16.2 million and 15.1 million viewers, respectively. (--Yes, it's been down every week . . . and that could continue. But 15.1 million viewers is about where "Two and a Half Men" was with Charlie last season. So, it isn't like CBS and producer CHUCK LORRE are freaking out just yet.)

Chord Overstreet Is In Talks to Return to "Glee" . . . on a Part-Time Basis: claims CHORD OVERSTREET is in talks to return to "Glee" . . . on a part-time basis. Over the summer, Chord turned down an opportunity to come back to "Glee" after he wasn't promoted to being a "series regular." --If it happens, he could reappear on the show as early as Episode Eight of this season, which would probably air in early December. For the record, there's no official confirmation on any of this. --His character Sam's departure was explained in the season premiere by his father getting a job in another town. If he does come back, his love life could be interesting. --When we last saw Sam in the Season Two finale, he was beginning a relationship with Mercedes . . . who's played by AMBER RILEY. But now she's already moved on to another boyfriend. --In August, Chord had this to say about deciding NOT to return to "Glee": Quote, "They offered me the chance to come back for a few episodes, but there was nothing guaranteed so I decided to dive into the music thing. --"And that's been my main priority the past two months." -Chord is recording an album. A "source" tells E! Online that if he does return to "Glee", it won't affect those plans. (--There's no further information on the album.)

61% of People Think the "Worst Talk Show Host Ever" Is . . . Rosie O'Donnell?

The website recently conducted a poll to determine the "worst talk show host ever." In the end, ROSIE O'DONNELL topped the list . . . and it wasn't even close. --12,910 votes were cast . . . and 61% of them chose Rosie as the worst talk show host, followed by Star Jones (11%), Jerry Springer (11%), Wendy Williams (7%), Dr. Phil (4%), Pat Sajak (4%) and Jenny Jones (2%). --The site also seems to insinuate that the premiere ratings of "The Rosie Show" on OPRAH WINFREY'S OWN network prove that people no longer like Rosie, but that's a hard sell. --Nothing is killing it on Oprah's network, since it's so deep in cable. And last week's premiere attracted 497,000 viewers, which was up from the 135,000 viewers that OWN had been averaging in that timeslot. --It's unclear if the poll was open to any talk show hosts, or if these were the choices. But either way, it seems random. Jenny Jones hasn't hosted a talk show in almost 10 years . . . and Pat Sajak hasn't hosted a talk show in over two decades. (--If game shows like "Wheel of Fortune" count as a "talk shows," then there are a lot of hosts that are much more deserving of the "worst" title than Pat is.)

Wednesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"World Series" [Game #1] . . . 7:30 to 10:30 P.M. Eastern on Fox. (--The St Louis Cardinals host the Texas Rangers at Busch Stadium in Saint Louis. "American Idol's" Scotty McCreery performs the national anthem.)

--"I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" [4th Season Finale] . . . 7:00 to 8:00 P.M. on TLC.

--"H8R" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on the CW. (--"Real Housewives of Atlanta's" NeNe Leakes and Charles Barkley try to change the opinion of their haters.)

--"Too Fat For 15" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Style.

--"Harry's Law" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Jason Alexander guest stars as a biology teacher who gets suspended after failing a student.)

--"The Will" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ID. (--This episode covers the estate of Howard Hughes.)

--"South Park" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. (--Someone is leaking information on a web site about everybody at South Park elementary.)

--"True Hollywood Story: Casey Anthony" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on E!

--"Fact or Faked" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on Syfy.

--"American Hoggers" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on A&E. (--A family of hunters protects ranches and Texas residents from feral hogs, which are apparently quite destructive.)

--"Devil You Know" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ID. (--Jenn Carson . . . The daughter of serial killer Michael Carson shares her story.)

Courtney Love Canceled a Festival Gig Because She Refused to Open Up for Limp Bizkit:

COURTNEY LOVE reportedly canceled a scheduled HOLE gig at Australia's Soundwave Festival . . . because they wanted her to open for LIMP BIZKIT. --According to Britain's "NME" magazine, Courtney Tweeted, quote, "What bloody flight of crazed fancy made you think we'd open for Limp Bizkit dude? No offense . . . that's nuts." (--We were unable to find that Tweet on her feed.) --The festival's promoter was NOT happy about this. He responded, quote, "Like we were going to ask her permission every time we book a band. [There's] no point taking her back, only for her to cancel later, or turn up and act like a rotten [T-word] to other artists and fans. --"I am really mad about this. I was given so many assurances that this would not happen when I took the booking." (--The T-word he used rhymes with "swat.")

Wanna Buy John Lennon's Tooth?

There's a lot of cool JOHN LENNON memorabilia that you may wish you had the money to buy. But even if you had a BOTTOMLESS bank account, would you want to buy one of John's TEETH? --The tooth is being auctioned off in England on November 5th. It's expected to command at least $16,000. John gave it to his housekeeper in the late '60s. He told her she could give it to her daughter "as a souvenir." (--Here's a picture of it.) (BBC)

Check Out R.E.M.'s Final Single "We All Go Back to Where We Belong": is streaming the final official R.E.M. single "We All Go Back to Where We Belong". (--Here's the direct link to it. --It's one of two new songs that will be released on their upcoming greatest hits album, "Part Lies, Part Heart, Part Truth, Part Garbage: 1982 - 2011". It hits stores on November 15th. (--Last month, R.E.M. announced they were breaking up after 31 years together.)
Britney Spears Has Released Her Racy "Criminal" Video:

BRITNEY SPEARS has released her racy "Criminal" video, which definitely has a cinematic, "Bonnie and Clyde" vibe. It also costars her boyfriend JASON TRAWICK. --It's available on iTunes for $1.99 . . . but we were able to find a few versions on YouTube. (--Here's a direct link. The music starts at the 1:25 mark. And no, I have no idea why everything is backwards in this version.) (--This was the video that upset some people in Britain because it features a robbery, and it was shot in the wake of the riots that happened there in August. They asked her to apologize, but she didn't think that was necessary.)

Check Out Justin Bieber's New "Mistletoe" Video:

JUSTIN BIEBER unleashed his new "Mistletoe" video last night . . . and it's pretty boring, unless you're a diehard, TEENAGE "BELIEBER". --It's available on YouTube. Justin's Christmas album, "Under the Mistletoe", hits stores on November 1st.

50 Cent Is Now Donating Meals to Africans for Facebook "Likes":

50 CENT has unveiled a new component of his mission to feed a BILLION kids in Africa with the help of his new energy drink, Street King. --50 has announced that he'll donate ONE meal for every Facebook "like" Street King gets over the next week. And if it gets a million "likes" in one week . . . he'll double his donation to TWO million meals. --The link is As of late last night, it had 108,832 "likes."


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

LINDA CARDELLINI . . . a.k.a. Velma from the "Scooby Doo" movies . . . is expecting her first child sometime next year with her boyfriend Steven Rodriguez. (Full Story)

JONAH HILL and his girlfriend Jordan Klein have broken up. They'd been dating since high school. (Full Story)

VIOLA DAVIS from "The Help" adopted a baby girl. (Full Story)

BRISTOL PALIN turned 21 yesterday. But her rep said she wasn't going to go out and get hammered last night because she had to get up early today to go CARIBOU HUNTING. (Full Story)

A Canadian band called Tea Party has agreed to sell its domain name,, to the political party. Some people think they might get SEVEN FIGURES for it. (Full Story)

MARK WAHLBERG has had a huge falling out with DAVID O. RUSSELL . . . who directed him in "The Fighter" . . . over another movie they were supposed to make together. (Full Story)

61-year-old ROBIN GIBB of the BEE GEES is out of the hospital and recovering at home . . . after suffering yet another stomach problem last week. (Full Story)

BARBARA WALTERS gave T.I. a little dressing-down on "The View" yesterday . . . telling him, quote, "We have a warm feeling about you but these are two serious charges. So are you clean and sober and how do we keep you out of trouble? Can anyone keep you out of trouble?" (Full Story)

It's official: THE STONE ROSES . . . who are HUGE among all British people and American hipsters . . . have announced that they're reuniting. They're going to do some live shows next year, and might even work on new material. (Full Story) (--You may best remember them from their 1994 single "Love Spreads".)

KELLY CLARKSON wants to land a guest spot on "Parks and Recreation" and is asking her fans to help her make it happen by Tweeting about it. (Full Story) Kelly is also recording an episode of "VH1 Unplugged". (Full Story)

BO DEREK will guest star on an upcoming episode of "Chuck". (Full Story)

BRIAN WILSON of the BEACH BOYS has an album coming out next week, and he's already started on his next album after that. But he says talk of a Beach Boys reunion next year is premature. He explains, quote, "There is nothing confirmed about that. I don't know what is going to go on there." (Full Story)


Scientists Have Created the "World's Most Relaxing Song" . . . Which Supposedly Calms You Down Even More Than a Massage:

In England, scientists, sleep therapists, and a new age band called Marconi Union have teamed up to create what they believe is the WORLD'S MOST RELAXING SONG. --It's an eight-minute song called "Weightless". They say it's so good at making people fall asleep, that you should NOT listen to it in your car. And their studies found that it relaxed people even more than a MASSAGE. --People who listened were 65% less anxious afterward. --"Weightless" uses slow harmonies, rhythms, and bass lines . . . plus mellow guitars, pianos, and electronic nature sounds . . . to create a relaxing song that slows the heart rate, reduces blood pressure, and lowers stress hormone levels. --The song starts at 60 beats-per-minute and gradually drops to 50. The team behind it says that your heart rate should drop accordingly. --The melody also NEVER repeats, because that would let your brain switch off. This song keeps triggering your brain which, the scientists say, helps it achieve a deeper level of relaxation. (Daily Mail) (--Listen to the track here.)

Diets are Most Likely to Fail If You Start Them on a Tuesday:

If you're one of those people who makes a nightly pledge to start a diet tomorrow . . . tonight, just relax and forget about it until the weekend. --A new poll found that diets that start in the middle of the week are MUCH more likely to fail. Tuesday is the absolute worst day to start a diet . . . and most people who start on Tuesday have failed by Friday. --The poll found that for people who are REALLY hardcore about their diet goals, starting on a weekend has the best results. People who start on a Saturday or Sunday are most willing to make the sacrifices it takes to get a diet to work. --People who start on Monday also have pretty good results . . . better than people who start in the middle of the week . . . but just behind people who start on a weekend. (Bioscholar)

Website of the Day: MyBodyGallery Shows You What Real Women's Bodies Actually Look Like:

I don't know if you've heard, but the media MIGHT not be presenting us with the most accurate representation of what women's bodies look like. We've got a website for you to check out that wants to change that. --It's called and it's a site where real women upload real photographs of themselves . . . so you can see what different sizes ACTUALLY look like on other people.

28% of the Surfaces in Your Gym are Contaminated With Bodily Fluids:

Here's a NEW excuse for you to skip the gym. And it's way better than "I'm tired" or "my spandex pants with the built-in '80s thong are at the cleaners." --According to a study by the University of Arizona, the gym is DISGUSTING. Their tests found that 28% of all the surfaces at the average gym are, quote, "contaminated with bodily fluids." --That means one out of every four things you touch at the gym . . . from the weights and the benches to the shower stalls and the lockers . . . are crawling with potentially harmful bacteria. --The contamination can spread all sorts of diseases to you . . . including staph infections, E. coli, and cold and flu viruses. So SERIOUSLY, scrub the hell out of your hands after you're done working out to keep yourself healthy. (PR Newswire)

Two Out of Five People Have No Plans to Get a Flu Shot This Year:

I have no plans to get a flu shot this year. After all, I'm invincible. Also, I don't like needles. Whatever. --CVS Pharmacy just released the results of a survey that found 42% of adults are just like me . . . and aren't planning on getting a flu shot this year. --The main excuse is that flu shots are just for children and old folks. Although a decent number of people actually believe that flu shots are DANGEROUS and can backfire and give you the flu. By the way: They can't. (CVS)

23% of Us Plan to Give Homemade, Re-gifted, or Second-Hand Items as Presents This Christmas:

According to a new survey, the average person plans to spend $880 on Christmas this year, between gifts, food, drinks, and entertainment. And it would be higher . . . except a quarter of us are getting a little CHEAP with our gifts. --The survey found that 9% of people plan to give out some homemade presents, 8% plan to re-gift things that were given to them, and 6% will give USED, second-hand items as gifts. Added up, that means 23% of people are taking that route. --The survey also found that 21% of people say that Christmas is going to put them in debt. 8% of people plan to take out a loan or borrow money from their family and friends to pay for their presents. (PR Newswire)

90% of Women Decided Which Side of the Bed They Sleep On . . . and Men are Fine With That:

Once you end up sleeping on a side of the bed, you're there FOR LIFE. And a new study found that when it comes time to pick those sides of the bed . . . WOMEN make the choice 90% of the time. --Men only get the final say on sides of the bed in 10% of cases. The good news: Men are totally fine with that. In fact, it goes back to the male biological instinct to PROTECT a woman. --Donna Dawson is a psychologist who ran the study. She says men are fine with a woman picking the sleeping territory because she chooses the spot where she feels the most comfortable and safe. --Then, once a woman chooses, a man subconsciously starts planning how he's going to defend her when she sleeps there. (Huffington Post)

"Sexting" is Voted the Most Annoying New Tech Word:

"Sexting" is one of those terms that you feel like you need: It really is the best way to describe people sending each other naughty text messages and photos . . . but it still sounds CORNY to me.

--And clearly, I'm not alone. In a new survey by a company called Computeractive, "sexting" was voted THE most annoying new tech word of the past year. Here's the full top 10:

#1.) Sexting - sending sexually explicit photos or text messages from your phone.

#2.) Intexticated - being distracted when you're driving because you're texting.

#3.) Defriend - remove a friend from Facebook.

#4.) Twittersphere - the world of all tweets and Twitter.

#5.) Tweetup - meeting with friends on Twitter.

#6.) Hacktivist - hacking to achieve social or political goals.

#7.) Clickjacking - trying to trick people online into revealing personal information.

#8.) Twitpic - a picture service that lets you put photos on Twitter.

#9.) Dot-bomb - a failed Internet company.

#10.) Scareware - a program that tries to scare you by telling you there are viruses on your computer . . . but is just designed to scam your credit card information. (Computeractive)

Wondering Where the Super Rich Americans Live? Check the Big Cities:

There are rich people . . . and then there are RICH people. And this story is about THOSE rich people. --A new study found there are approximately 57,860 ultra-rich people in the U.S. . . . that means people who are worth at least $30 MILLION. And here's a breakdown of where they live.

#1.) The New York City area, with 7,720 ultra-rich people, or 13% of the ultra-rich Americans.

#2.) Los Angeles, 4,350 ultra-rich.

#3.) San Francisco, 4,230 ultra-rich.

#4.) Chicago, 2,550 ultra-rich.

#5.) Washington, D.C., 2,300 ultra-rich.

#6.) Houston, 2,250 ultra-rich.

#7.) Dallas, 1,855 ultra-rich.

#8.) Atlanta, 960 ultra-rich.

#9.) Boston, 890 ultra-rich.

#10.) Seattle . . . which claims BILL GATES . . . has 885 ultra-rich. (CNN/Money) (--Here's a graph showing where the ultra-rich live.)

We Prefer Tall Presidential Candidates Because of Evolution:

(--We touched on this subject last month, but now we've got some of the reasoning behind it.) Not all of our presidential candidates believe in evolution, but evolution may have an impact on the 2012 election either way. -A study by Texas Tech professors found that we're more likely to vote for taller presidential candidates because we have a biological urge to vote tall. --According to the study, it's because of, quote, "an evolved psychological trait that associates physical strength with survival." --In other words, the biggest guy was the most likely one to provide food for the tribe and defeat opponents in battle. --In presidential elections, the taller candidate has won 58% of the time. The researchers also conducted an experiment, asking people to draw stick figures of citizens and leaders. The leader figure was taller 64% of the time. --They also gave a survey and found that taller people were more likely to think of themselves as potential leaders and consider running for office. --So while Barack Obama hasn't had to battle Vladimir Putin in hand-to-hand combat . . . he's 6'1", making him our fifth tallest president ever. --Of the potential challengers to Obama, Mitt Romney is the tallest at 6'2". Michele Bachmann is shortest at 5'2". (USA Today)

A Study of Basketball Players Found That They Try Hardest and Perform Best When They're Slightly Behind:

This isn't that surprising, but after looking at more than 60,000 basketball games, researchers have found that players try hardest and perform best . . . when they're losing by a little bit. --Researchers from Wharton and the University of Chicago looked at 45,000 NBA games and 18,000 college basketball games. And in general, teams leading at halftime ended up winning the game. --For every two points a team was ahead at the half, their odds of winning increased by 7%. --But there was one exception: Teams that were LOSING by one point at halftime were more likely to WIN the game than a team LEADING by a point. --The researchers also ran an experiment with regular people. After playing a competitive game for some period of time, people were told they were winning or losing by "a lot" or "a little
--People who thought they were down by a little increased their effort by a significant amount. (


A Man in Washington Wakes Up to His Wife Trying to Behead Him With a Power Saw:

Late Friday night in Everett, Washington, a 36-year-old man woke up because he felt some pain on his neck. Turns out the pain was being caused by . . . his 43-year-old wife trying to CUT HIS HEAD OFF with a POWER SAW. --The man freaked out, believe it or not, and called the police. When they got there, they could hear him yelling at his wife, quote, "It was you, it was you. You tried to cut my head off. You're going to jail." --The wife told the cops he was lying. She said she'd grabbed the saw because there was an INTRUDER in the house who'd escaped out their daughter's window. But when they checked the window, it had a child lock that prevented it from opening. --And when they checked the husband out, he had cuts and blood on his neck and shoulder. The wife was arrested for domestic violence assault. There's no word on WHY she was trying to behead her husband. (Everett Daily Herald)

Two Men Rob a Woman at Gunpoint . . . and Steal Her Bible:

God REALLY needs to SMITE these two guys. One, because of what they did. And two, because they clearly failed to see the IRONY in their crime. --On Saturday around 9:30 P.M., two men in Indianapolis robbed a 49-year-old woman as she left the Northwest Baptist Church . . . and stole her BIBLE. They also stole her shawl, and that's it. No money, cell phone, nothing else. --The police . . . and, we're assuming, God . . . are still tracking them down. (CBS 8 - Indianapolis)

A Prisoner Borrows a Contraband Cell Phone to Tell His Family He's Getting Paroled . . . Gets Caught . . . and Gets Another Five Years:

Dwayne Kennedy has been in prison in California since 1990 for throwing a guy out of a moving car. --He also stabbed a fellow inmate in 1994, and served extra time for it. --But he found out last year that he was finally going to be paroled, after more than ten years of being rejected. Dwayne said he was, quote, "overwhelmed and just happy". And obviously he wanted to share the news. --So he borrowed a cell phone from a fellow inmate, and called home to tell his family. --Unfortunately, Dwayne got caught by a guard while he was making calls. And since cell phones are contraband in prison, that meant he violated his parole . . . before even making it OUT of prison. --The parole board didn't buy Dwayne's claim that he was thanking his supporters and sharing the good news. --They revoked his parole, citing a brand new law signed into effect by Governor Jerry Brown on October 6th, that makes contraband phones a misdemeanor. He can't apply for early release again for another five years. (LA Times)

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Schools are closed in eastern Ohio today, so authorities can deal with a MASS BREAKOUT of dangerous exotic animals. The owner of an animal preserve died, and somehow 48 animals went on the loose . . . including bears, lions, tigers, cheetahs, wolves, giraffes, and camels. Cops and SWAT teams with night vision were hunting them down last night, and had killed half of them as of midnight. (Full Story)

Photos of the Day Part One: We give you . . . 'Albino Cyclops Shark.' (Full Story)

A 16-year-old girl in Washington state went out without her dad's permission. And he happens to be one of those Renaissance Fair enthusiasts. So he dressed her up in armor and attacked her with a wooden sword for two hours. (Full Story)

Men have biological clocks too . . . since their sperm quality drops with age. (Full Story)

A construction worker in Arizona was arrested last week for assault . . . after licking a woman's scraped knee when she fell in a parking lot? (Full Story)

According to a new survey, the most trusted companies in the U.S. are: USAA, Amazon, and Costco. (--USAA is the insurance company for vets and the military.) (Full Story)

Did thieves in Virginia steal a truck full of PRESIDENT OBAMA'S teleprompter equipment? (Full Story)

91% of college girls have dieted, and 22% are ALWAYS on a diet. (Full Story)

The same number of Americans will be traveling this holiday season . . . three in ten . . . but they're planning on spending more to do it. The average family of four figures they'll have to spend $2,636. An increase of $200 over last year. (Full Story)

#1.) A New Funny Or Die Video Features Ben Stiller, Sean Penn, Jack Black, and Kristen Wiig as Members of the Clinton Foundation's "Celebrity Division":

It's no secret that Hollywood celebrities tend to support Democrats. And there's a new video on that makes fun of it. But it's not actually about a candidate. --It's to promote the tenth anniversary of Bill Clinton's foundation. And it's about the foundation's fictional "Celebrity Division" . . . which consists of Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig, Sean Penn, Jack Black, Matt Damon, Ted Danson and Mary Steenburgen. --The joke is, they can't come up with any decent ways to help out . . . because Matt Damon is obsessed with forming a softball team, Jack Black wants to write a theme song, and Sean Penn won't stop trying to figure out who's been stealing his lunch. --Kevin Spacey also makes an appearance, and so does the real Bill Clinton.
(--Search for "Clinton Foundation: Celebrity Division." Clinton shows up at 4:59.)

#2.) Comedian Jim Meskimen Can Do Celebrity Impressions for Every Letter of the Alphabet:

Impressionist JIM MESKIMEN is doing shows in L.A. right now. And he's promoting them with a YouTube video called "Celebrity Alphabet", where he stands in front of the camera, and does a different impression for every single letter. --It starts with Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Bond, George Clooney, Matt Damon, and Clint Eastwood. And he also does Jack Nicholson, Tommy Lee Jones, Woody Allen, and 18 more.

#3.) Did Harry Belafonte Fall Asleep During an Interview . . . or Was He "Meditating"?

If you haven't seen this video yet, you should: A TV morning show in Bakersfield, California did a satellite interview with HARRY BELAFONTE last Friday. But when they cut to the video of him, he was sleeping. --Or at least that's what it LOOKED like. Harry's publicist Ken Sunshine claims Harry wasn't asleep, he was MEDITATING. --Sunshine says, quote, "His earpiece wasn't working, so he decided to take the time to meditate before the rest of his Day-O." (--Yes, the press release actually said "Day-O.") --He added, quote, "Maybe the world would be a better place if more people took a moment to meditate." (--Search for "Harry Belafonte Falls Asleep Waiting for an Interview.")

#4.) A Bear Cub Wandered Into a Grocery Store in Alaska, and Climbed on the Produce Display:

On Saturday, a bear cub wandered into a grocery store in Ketchikan, Alaska. Then it promptly climbed into the produce display, and walked on all the vegetables. And one of the employees got it all on tape. --And here's why Alaskans are different than the rest of us: The cops got there to deal with it, but one of the CUSTOMERS ended up grabbing the cub and taking it outside. (--Search for "Bear Cub in Alaska Grocery Store." The customer grabs it at 1:15, and the bear starts crying at 1:26.)

Eight Simple Home Remedies for Your Dog:

You've probably heard a million home remedies for YOURSELF. But what about home remedies for your DOG? --Well, a book came out earlier this year called "Amazing Pet Cures", and some of them sound like they might actually work . . . for dogs AND cats. Here are the top eight.

#1.) Use Crisco to Get Burs Out of Their Fur. Wear work gloves so you don't get pricked, then work a dab of Crisco into the affected area, pry the burs loose, and use shampoo to get the Crisco off.

#2.) Use Vinegar to Stop Your Dog from Chewing on the Furniture. In a spray bottle, mix five ounces of white vinegar, five ounces of apple cider vinegar, and five ounces of water. Then spray it on whatever the dog likes to chew. --Or if it's a specific spot, you can dab it with Bengay.

#3.) To Kill Fleas, Bathe Your Dog with Dawn Dish Soap. It's non-toxic, but it penetrates the exoskeletons of the fleas and kills them. And according to the book, it works better than some prescription flea shampoos.

#4.) To Prevent Shedding, Use a Damp Paper Towel. Just run a sheet under the tap, then pet your dog with it to collect the loose hair. It won't actually STOP the shedding. But it'll help make sure the hair doesn't end up all over the house.

#5.) Use Trash Bags to Stop You Dog from Going to the Bathroom Inside. If it always happens in the same spot, just cut open a trash bag and put it there. Most dogs hate the feeling of plastic on their feet so much, they won't walk on it. --Of course, there's still a chance it'll go right NEXT to the trash bag.

#6.) To Discourage Digging, Use Tabasco Sauce and Cayenne Pepper. If they keep digging up the yard, add four tablespoons of Tabasco and four tablespoons of cayenne pepper to one quart of water. Then sprinkle it on the grass.

#7.) To Make the Food Bowls Easier to Clean, Use PAM Cooking Spray. If you spray a little bit on the inside of the bowl before you fill it with wet food, the leftover pieces won't stick when they dry out. --And as an added bonus, the vegetable oil helps make your dog's coat shinier.

#8.) For Older Dogs with Arthritis, Use White Rice in a Sock. Fill a sock halfway with uncooked white rice, tie a knot in the end, and heat it in the microwave for one minute. --Then put the warm sock on your dog's joints twice a day for about 15 minutes. You can also do the same thing with a regular heating pad. But you don't have to worry about your dog RUINING rice in a sock. And it's also re-usable. --Just make sure to use a CLEAN sock . . . or your microwave will smell DISGUSTING. (


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