Thursday, October 20, 2011



Lindsay Lohan Was Handcuffed and Led Out of Court After Her Probation Was Revoked:

LINDSAY LOHAN was HANDCUFFED and led out of court yesterday, after Judge Stephanie Sautner FINALLY got hardcore with her and revoked her probation. (--TMZ has video of Lindsay being cuffed and led away . . . and video of the judge giving her the business. Check 'em both out here.) --Lindsay was immediately released on $100,000 bail, and she's due back in court November 2nd. At that point, they'll officially determine if Lindsay violated her probation and what, if any, new punishments she'll face. --Obviously, jail time is a possibility. But if that happens, it could just be another situation where they check her in, then check her back out immediately due to prison overcrowding. --Ahead of yesterday's hearing, the probation department gave Lindsay a glowing review . . . which Judge Sautner basically said was B.S. (--You can read the report here.) --She was mostly concerned with Lindsay being booted from that women's shelter for missing NINE scheduled appointments. And she refused to accept Lindsay being reassigned to the Red Cross. --She said, quote, "No one has the power to change my sentence. Not the volunteer center and not probation. She is not getting credit for any time at the American Red Cross." --Lindsay's lawyer noted to the judge that the department's review said Lindsay has, quote, "reached a turning point in her accountability and maturity." --And the judge replied, quote, "Failing to show up nine times is reaching a turning point in her maturity?" --Lindsay was given a year to complete her community service. And even though she still has six months to go, Judge Sautner was NOT happy with her progress. --She noted that Lindsay still has about 57 of her required 60 days left to do. -Here's something that REALLY got under the judge's skin: The probation report stated that Lindsay didn't like working at the women's shelter because it wasn't, quote, "fulfilling" for her. --Judge Sautner said, quote, "Is that what a sentence is about? Is it supposed to fulfill the defendant, or is it supposed to be rehabilitative and / or punitive?" --Judge Sautner also said she doubts that Lindsay has attended all her court-ordered weekly counseling sessions, because she's spent so much time out of the country. --Judge Sautner dropped one other bomb on Lindsay: Until her November 2nd hearing, Lindsay MUST work a minimum of two days a week at the L.A. County Morgue . . . for a minimum of eight hours a day. --Lindsay's original sentence was 360 hours at the shelter and 120 at the morgue, for a total of 480 hours. --Lindsay will do janitorial work at the morgue, like emptying trash, vacuuming and cleaning toilets. She might see corpses, but a police spokesman says, quote, "She will not be touching, handling or processing any dead people." --Oh . . . and here's one last jab from Judge Sautner to Lindsay's attorney . . . quote, "She is supposed to be an actress from what I hear. I don't know how much acting work she's done or is doing."

Scarlett Johansson . . . Is Joseph Gordon-Levitt Dattin' That?

"Us Weekly" claims that SCARLETT JOHANSSON and JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT were spotted making out in New York City last month. There's no word why it took so long for this report to surface. --A source says, quote, "They were kissing. They were very lovey. They first met about a film they wanted to do together, but it's gone beyond that now."

Danny Masterson and Bijou Phillips Are Married:

DANNY MASTERSON and BIJOU PHILLIPS got married Tuesday at a private castle in Ireland. They've been together for about eight years. --Danny's brother CHRIS MASTERSON was best man, and other guests included actors Ben Foster, Mike Pena and Ethan Suplee. --One person who wasn't there was Danny's "That '70s Show" co-star ASHTON KUTCHER. But he's probably on a short leash these days.

Check Out the Video for William Shatner's "Bohemian Rhapsody":

"Bohemian Rhapsody" is one of the songs WILLIAM SHATNER brilliantly butchers on his new album, "Seeking Major Tom". And now, there's a VIDEO. (--You can check it out here.)

Alec Baldwin Hit Occupy Wall Street Tuesday Night:

ALEC BALDWIN isn't against Capitalism . . . but he's for stronger regulations. And he took that message to the Occupy Wall Street protest on Tuesday night. (--You can check out video of him being interviewed on the street here.) --Later on, he Tweeted, quote, "OWS needs to coalesce around some legislative policy. The 'occupy' strategy may be an effective one. But what can each entity agree on? --"Campaign finance reform remains the linchpin of our democracy's many problems." --He added, quote, "We need a healthy banking system in this country. We need strong capital markets. What is missing are regulations with teeth."

Did Dr. Conrad Murray Give Propofol a Bad Name?

A leading expert on the anesthetic drug propofol was back on the witness stand in DR. CONRAD MURRAY'S manslaughter trial yesterday. --Dr. Steven Shafer . . . the prosecution's final witness . . . says Dr. Murray has given propofol a BAD NAME through his negligence. --He said, quote, "I am asked every day I'm in the operating room . . . 'Are you going to give me the drug that killed MICHAEL JACKSON?'" --Shafer also showed a video re-enactment of an O.R. patient going into cardiac arrest while on propofol . . . which is what happened to Michael. In the video, however, doctors have all the proper equipment and they save the patient. --Shafer said Michael could have been saved if Dr. Murray had acted appropriately and had the right equipment on hand. --In all, he outlined 17 major infractions Dr. Murray reportedly committed . . . including not calling 911 right away, which he called, quote, "so egregious that I actually find it difficult to comprehend." --Another thing he did wrong was to even give Michael propofol in the first place. --Shafer said, quote, "If Dr. Murray had acted like a doctor, the first time Michael had said, 'I need propofol to sleep,' Dr. Murray would have said, 'You have a sleep disorder and you need to be evaluated by a sleep doctor. I am not giving you anything.'" --Another thing Dr. Murray did wrong was to leave Michael alone while he was under. --And then there was his lackluster attempt at CPR . . . performing chest compressions with one hand while Michael was still on his bed, instead of putting him on a hard surface. --Dr. Murray's lawyers will cross-examine Shafer today, then begin calling their own witnesses. They're expected to wrap up their case sometime next week.


The New "Three Musketeers" Opens Tomorrow . . . Here Are the Details:

#1.) "The Three Musketeers" (PG-13) (Trailer)

We get a new movie version of the classic Alexandre Dumas novel roughly every 20 years. This latest version adds flying warships to its special effects list, but the basic storyline is still the same: A young swordsman named D'Artagnan joins the musketeers in trying to stop the evil Cardinal Richilieu's plot to overthrow the king. The kid from "Percy Jackson and the Olympians" is D'Artagnan. And your musketeers are Luke Evans (Apollo in "Clash of the Titans"), Ray Stevenson (Titus on HBO's "Rome"), and Matthew Macfadyen (the Sheriff in Russell Crowe's "Robin Hood"). or those of you who could never keep your musketeers straight, Aramis is the womanizer, Porthos is the big guy, and Athos is the one haunted by his dark past with Lady De Winter. She's played by Milla Jovovich in this movie. Orlando Bloom is in it too, but he's stuck as one of the villains in the minor role of the Duke of Buckingham . . . who comes off as sort of a sky pirate with those airships. (--Here's a cast breakdown of the last four major "Three Musketeers" movies . . .)

2011 version
1993 version
1973 version
1948 version
Christoph Waltz
Tim Curry
Charlton Heston
Vincent Price
De Winter
Milla Jovovich
Rebecca De Mornay
Faye Dunaway
Lana Turner
Logan Lerman
Chris O'Donnell
Michael York
Gene Kelly
Luke Evans
Charlie Sheen
Richard Chamberlain
Robert Coote
Matthew MacFadyen
Kiefer Sutherland
Oliver Reed
Van Heflin
Ray Stevenson
Oliver Platt
Frank Finlay
Gig Young

(--You may also remember Jeremy Irons, John Malkovich and Gerard Depardieu as older versions of the musketeers in Leonardo DiCaprio's 1998 movie "The Man in the Iron Mask". Gabriel Byrne was D'Artagnan in that one.)
#2.) "Paranormal Activity 3" (R)

This is a prequel. It takes place 18 years before the first two movies . . . back when Katie and Kristi were kids in 1988. They make friends with the invisible entity, but it turns hostile once their parents ask too many questions. (Trailer 1) (Trailer 2)

#3.) "Johnny English Reborn" (PG)

Rowan Atkinson returns as bumbling British spy Johnny English. He's pulled out of a Tibetan monastery in order to stop an assassination attempt on a Chinese leader. "X-Files" minx Gillian Anderson plays his boss. And, in a bit of interesting casting, they chose a Bond girl to play her hot blonde assistant. Rosamund Pike is her name, but you'd know her as Miranda Frost in Pierce Brosnan's "Die Another Day". (Trailer)

#4.) "The Mighty Macs" (G)

Carla Gugino is a women's basketball coach at a school with no gym, no interest in sports, and barely enough players to field a team. She wants to teach the girls to play as aggressively as men . . . but first she has to convince the nuns running the joint. --It's set in 1971 and based on the true story of a Hall of Fame women's basketball coach named Cathy Rush. David Boreanaz plays her husband, and "Grindhouse" minx Marley Shelton is a young nun helping her coach the team. (Trailer)

The Movie River Phoenix Was Working On When He Died Is Finally Coming Out:

When RIVER PHOENIX died of a drug overdose on Halloween night, 1993, he was working on a movie called "Dark Blood". It ended up being shelved . . . but now, it's finally going to be finished and released. --Director GEORGE SLUIZER says he HID the footage after River died, because he was afraid it would be confiscated and destroyed. (--By whom, you ask? He didn't say.) --But Sluizer thinks he can finally finish it by re-cutting the footage and getting some new voiceover work from River's younger brother JOAQUIN PHOENIX. --He says, quote, "The voices of both brothers are very much alike." --In the movie, River plays a hermit living on a nuclear test site waiting for the end of the world. When he comes to the aid of a couple whose car breaks down in the desert, the three of them end up in a love triangle. (--River was on a break from filming when he died of an overdose of cocaine and heroin outside of the Viper Room in Los Angeles. He had also taken marijuana, Valium and a cold medicine.) (--JOHNNY DEPP was one of the owners of the club. River was only 23 years old, and already an Oscar and Golden Globe nominee for "Running On Empty".)

Whitney Houston Has Signed On to a Movie Called "Sparkle":

WHITNEY HOUSTON has joined the cast of a movie called "Sparkle". It stars JORDIN SPARKS one of three sisters who form a music group. It's a remake of a 1976 film of the same name. --The cast also includes DEREK LUKE, MIKE EPPS and CEE-LO GREEN.

Check Out a Trailer for a Vampire Comedy Written and Directed by an 18-Year-Old Girl:

What were you doing when you were 18 years old? EMILY HAGINS wrote and directed a MOVIE. And it looks pretty good. --It's called "My Sucky Teen Romance" . . . and it's a vampire comedy that takes place at a sci-fi convention called SpaceCon. --It'll supposedly be released sometime next spring. There's no word if it's going to hit theaters . . . but it actually looks like it could. (--Check out the trailer here. It's got a certain charm. It kind of cuts on "Twilight" without being a straight-up spoof.)
Arsenio Hall Is Going to Be on "Celebrity Apprentice"!

NBC has yet to officially announce the next cast of "Celebrity Apprentice", but apparently that's not necessary . . . because the cast was "outed" after they were spotted in New York City, doing some sort of sandwich-making task.

--So, here's the cast . . . according to

--Adam Carolla

--Former "American Idol" Clay Aiken

--Magician Penn Jillette

--Comedienne Lisa Lampanelli

--Former Danity Kane singer Aubrey O'Day

--"American Chopper" dad Paul Teutul, Sr.

--24-year-old racecar driver Marco Andretti. He's the grandson of Mario Andretti.

--Model Patricia Velásquez

--Former Miss Venezuela and Miss Universe Dayana Mendoza

--And now, for the "These Would've Been HUGE Additions Two Decades Ago" portion of the cast. (--This isn't an actual division, although that would be humorous.)

--"Wayne's World" minx Tia Carrere

--'80s pop superstar Debbie Gibson

--Twisted Sister singer Dee Snider

--George Takei . . . a.k.a. Sulu from "Star Trek"

--Former "Incredible Hulk" star Lou Ferrigno

--Model Cheryl Tiegs (--She's 64 years old now.)

--And easily the most important, EXCITING celebrity to EVER to do "Celebrity Apprentice": ARSENIO HALL. Seriously, can you believe it?!?

Is MTV Doing "The Real World: Occupy Wall Street"?

MTV's "The Real World" isn't exactly known for showcasing people who . . . well . . . THINK, and CARE about stuff. But apparently, they're looking to reverse their course for the show's upcoming 27th season. --Yesterday, an add popped up on Craigslist out of New York . . . asking for young Occupy Wall Street protesters who are interested in being on "The Real World". --The ad reads: Quote, "MTV's 'Real World' is seeking cast members to tell their unique stories on our show. If you are over the age of 20 and appear to be between the ages of 20 to 24, and the description below sounds like you, we want to hear from you! --"Are you a part of the OCCUPY WALL STREET movement? --"If so, please contact Your subject heading should be YOUR NAME and WALL STREET. --"Please attach 3 RECENT PHOTOS and a brief BIO . . . including your full NAME, DATE OF BIRTH (for ID purposes only), as well as your CONTACT INFORMATION including PHONE NUMBER." (--You can find the ad at --And activist or not, you can be sure that MTV is only looking for HOT people . . . there's no way they're going to stray from their bread and butter at this point. There ARE hot protesters. Case in point: --Of course, this could be BOGUS . . . there's no official word from MTV or the producers. And if it IS real, it's unclear if it would be an entire cast of Occupy Wall Street protesters, or if they're just trying to plug one or two in for drama.
Conan O'Brien Is Developing a Sitcom . . . and It Sounds Pretty Cliché:

CONAN O'BRIEN is developing a sitcom for TBS called "Fat Chance", and the premise is simple . . . if not TOO simple. --It's about two friends . . . one obese, and one attractive . . . and the laughs begin when a "beautiful girl" enters their lives. That's it. Conan would serve as an executive producer. (--And that's all we have on it for now.) (--You can't really judge a show by its one-sentence synopsis, but as a card-carrying member of Team Coco, I have to admit . . . I'm pretty unimpressed. It just seems so cliché. To me, fat guy / hot guy comedy is well played out.)

Check Out the Trailer for Fox's Upcoming Show "Alcatraz":

The trailer for Fox's upcoming show "Alcatraz" debuted during the World Series last night . . . and if you missed it, you should really check it out. --It's a fictional thriller about 302 inmates who once went missing from Alcatraz, but who are now suddenly and mysteriously reappearing in the present day, without having aged. It stars SAM NEILL and JORGE GARCIA from "Lost". --You can find the two-and-a-half-minute preview and a full synopsis at There's no premiere date, but it'll be sometime this winter. (--It looks cool, and J.J. Abrams is an executive producer. He created "Alias" and co-created "Lost".)

Thursday TV Reminders: Check your local listings

--"World Series: Game 2" . . . 7:30 to 10:30 P.M. Eastern on Fox. The St Louis Cardinals host the Texas Rangers at Busch Stadium in Saint Louis.

--"Rules of Engagement" [6th Season Premiere] . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

--"Grey's Anatomy" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. Lee Majors and Marilu Henner guest star.

--"Sweet Home Alabama" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CMT. Southern bachelor Tribble Reese meets with 22 ladies looking for love. Jon Gosselin's ex Hailey Glassman is among them.

--"Miss Representation" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on OWN. Jane Fonda, Katie Couric and Condoleezza Rice are interviewed for this documentary about sexism in American media and society.

--"Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team" [6th Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CMT.

--"Jersey Shore" [4th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV.

--"Gabriel Iglesias Presents Stand-Up Revolution" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Comedy Central. Dennis Gaxiola, Noe Gonzalez and Thea Vidale perform.

--"Gigolos" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 11:00 to 11:30 P.M. on Showtime.

--"Dave's Old Porn" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 11:30 P.M. to Midnight on Showtime. Comedian Dave Attell and some of his friends provide humorous commentary on classic adult films from the '70s and '80s.

Rihanna's Irish Farmer-Angering "We Found Love" Video Is Out:

RIHANNA has released her "We Found Love" video. It's up at --This is the one that got her kicked off an Irish farm, when the 61-year-old owner saw her running topless through his field, and felt that it was "inappropriate." The scene is incredibly brief in the final cut. (--It happens at the 1:04 mark in the video.) --But that isn't the only interesting note about this video. --Rihanna has said that she wanted the video to emulate the feeling of taking a drug. And that came across . . . along with a seemingly obvious reference to her relationship with CHRIS BROWN. --Her boyfriend in the video . . . a British boxer named Dudley O'Shaughnessy . . . resembles Chris, as do his hot and cold interactions with Rihanna. It even includes an argument in a car, and some implied physical abuse. --And then there's the narration from an Irish woman at the beginning . . . who says, quote, "It's like you're screaming but no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could that be that important, that without them you feel like nothing. --"No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless like nothing can save you. And when it's over and it's gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so you could have the good."

Chris Martin Rides a Unicycle in an Elephant Costume in Coldplay's "Paradise" Video:

COLDPLAY has released its "Paradise" video . . . and it features singer CHRIS MARTIN, dressed as an elephant and riding a unicycle, among other things. --At the beginning, Chris the "elephant" is stuck in a London zoo . . . but he busts out, and makes his way to his "home" in Africa. There he gets a unicycle and rides through the countryside before meeting up with the rest of the band, who are also dressed as elephants. --It's entertaining. (--You can find the video on Coldplay's VEVO channel.)

Check Out an Amusing Video of Axl Rose Falling Down on Stage:

AXL ROSE slipped and fell during a GUNS N' ROSES performance in Mexico City on Tuesday night. The fall briefly interrupted "Knocking on Heaven's Door" . . . but Axl took a moment to collect himself and went on with the show. --Fortunately, there's video of this on YouTube. From the angle it's taken it appears that Axl fell off the side of the stage, but that isn't 100% clear. Regardless, he didn't fall far, and he was fine. (--Here's the direct link. He falls about 20 seconds in.)

Adam Levine Doesn't Want Fox News Playing His Music Anymore:

Fox News has done something to enrage MAROON 5 singer ADAM LEVINE . . . something other than the usual fair and balanced reporting. --Apparently, Fox News used one of Maroon 5's songs, because Adam sent out a Tweet yesterday . . . warning them not to do it again. He said, quote, "Dear Fox News, don't play our music on your evil [effing] channel ever again. Thank you." --He didn't elaborate . . . and Fox News hasn't commented. (--Adam's only other Tweet yesterday was this: Quote, "Names that sound alike: @KelseyGrammar and @ChelseaHandler.") (???)

Jon Bon Jovi Has Opened a Volunteer, "Pay What You Can" Restaurant:

JON BON JOVI has opened a charity, "pay what you can" restaurant in Red Bank, New Jersey. It's the JBJ Soul Kitchen, and it serves "healthy variations on classic soul food." It actually started in 2009, but now it has a permanent location.--Here's how it works: There won't be prices on the menus. Diners can pay a suggested donation . . . or earn free meals by doing volunteer work in the community. --By the way, Jon wants you to know that this ISN'T a cafeteria or soup kitchen. He says, quote, "It's the hottest-looking restaurant in this town. We have to get rid of a few stigmas attached to the word volunteering and making a difference."

Justin Bieber Is Being Used in a Campaign to Defeat a Copyright Law . . . Which Would've Seriously Impeded His Rise to Fame:

By now, everyone knows that JUSTIN BIEBER was discovered . . . by USHER and others . . . after posting videos of himself singing and performing on YouTube. --Well, now a "fair use" organization called Fight for the Future has launched a campaign called Free Bieber!, which is working to block a music copyright bill that would make "streaming or using copyrighted music in an online video punishable by up to five years in prison." --So they've created some images of Justin in prison . . . since supposedly, that's where he'd be under the spirit of this law, instead of touring the world and sucking face with SELENA GOMEZ. --The organization argues, quote, "Tell Congress to get a clue and stop trying to jail people for singing. Congress has no business making ordinary Internet users criminals for expressing themselves online." --The bill hasn't become a law yet. --You can see the images . . . find more information . . . and sign their petition at And there's more at (--It doesn't sound like Justin is a part of this movement . . . so I guess Fight for the Future considers using his name and likeness another example of "fair use.")

Evanescence Scored Their Second #1 Album:

The new self-titled album from EVANESCENCE topped the "Billboard" chart this week, with 127,000 copies. It's the band's second #1 album. "The Open Door" also debuted at #1 with 447,000 copies back in 2006.

--In all, five albums debuted in the Top 10 this week, including new ones from Five Finger Death Punch, "American Idol" runner-up Lauren Alaina, Ryan Adams, and Martina McBride.

1.) NEW: The self-titled album from Evanescence (127,000 copies)

2.) "21", Adele (111,000 copies)

3.) NEW: "American Capitalist", Five Finger Death Punch (91,000 copies)


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Because of the grossness we recently witnessed on LINDSAY LOHAN'S two front teeth, her dad MICHAEL thinks she's smoking either crack or meth. (Video)

MARISKA HARGITAY and her husband have adopted a baby boy. Six months ago, they adopted a baby girl. (Full Story)

BRYANT GUMBEL of HBO's "Real Sports" compared NBA Commissioner DAVID STERN to a, quote, "modern plantation overseer." (Video)

Some soldiers in Afghanistan received free copies of the BILL O'REILLY book "Pinheads and Patriots: Where You Stand in the Age of Obama". But since there's not much need for books in a combat area, they BURNED THEM. (Full Story)

MANDY MOORE has landed a sitcom on ABC called "Us and Them". It's a family comedy. (Full Story)

RONNIE and SAMMI from "Jersey Shore" have broken up. (Full Story)

An Iowa Couple in Their 90s Died an Hour Apart After 72 Years of Marriage . . . and They Were Still Holding Hands:

94-year-old Gordon Yeager and his 90-year-old wife Norma were in a fatal car accident last Wednesday, when Gordon accidentally pulled in front of an oncoming car about an hour northeast of Des Moines, Iowa. --Both Gordon and Norma survived the initial accident, but both died later that afternoon. And they passed away EXACTLY ONE HOUR APART . . . right next to each other in the Intensive Care Unit . . . while they were still holding hands. --Gordon passed away first, at 3:38 P.M. And here's where it gets WEIRD: According to his son Dennis, after Gordon stopped breathing, his heart monitor KEPT GOING. --The nurse checked it, and said it was because Gordon and Norma were still holding hands . . . HER heart was still beating . . . and the monitor was picking it up. --Norma passed away exactly one hour after Gordon, at 4:38 P.M. --Gordon and Norma got married on May 26th, 1939, the day Norma graduated from high school. They were married for 72 YEARS, and had four kids together. --And at their funeral on Monday, they held hands IN THEIR CASKET. We're not sure how that worked. They'll be cremated, and their ashes will be mixed together. (KCCI)

Police in Ohio Killed 48 Escaped Exotic Animals . . . Six Were Rescued . . . and the Monkey with Herpes was Eaten by a Tiger?

Everyone's talking about the MASS BREAKOUT of exotic animals in Ohio. Here's what happened . . . --There's a town in eastern Ohio appropriately named Zanesville, about an hour east of Columbus. 62-year-old Terry Thompson ran a shady 73-acre exotic animal farm there, including lions, tigers, cheetahs, giraffes, and camels. And on Tuesday, he LOST IT. --He set 56 of his animals free, and then killed himself with a gunshot. So yeah, he committed suicide, and that's tragic and unfortunate. But check out how this selfish jerk's idiocy affected his ANIMALS once they escaped . . . --Some of the animals were hanging out along an Interstate, and a wolf was killed by a passing car. Four people called 911, and word got out that exotic animals were roaming around. So schools were closed, and people were asked to stay indoors. --Zanesville Sheriff Matt Lutz decided that since his deputies didn't have tranquilizers, they had to SHOOT the animals, because they posed a threat to the community. --So the deputies shot and killed 48 animals on Tuesday night and yesterday afternoon: Two wolves, six black bears, nine male lions, eight lionesses, one baboon, three mountain lions, and 18 endangered Bengal tigers. EIGHTEEN!!!! --Jack Hanna is the director of the Columbus Zoo, and he drove in overnight to try and save some of the animals. But he didn't get there in time. Still, he agrees with Sheriff Lutz, and says the killings were 100% necessary. --Quote: "It's a tragedy for the animal world. It could've been a bigger tragedy for the human world, that's what we tried to avoid here last night." --There was also an escaped snow monkey that might have been infected with HERPES B. There were orders to shoot and kill it on sight, because of the disease, but it was eaten by one of escaped big cats. (--Could this story get any weirder?) --Luckily, six of Thompson's animals were rescued, and are being transported to the Columbus Zoo: A grizzly bear, three leopards, and two monkeys. He also had orangutans and chimpanzees on his farm, but he'd left them in their cages. --Sheriff Lutz says he'd received a bunch of complaints about the farm in the last seven years. It wasn't open to the public, and Thompson had been charged with animal cruelty, neglect, and just served a year in Federal prison for having unregistered guns. --The dead animals are being buried on Thompson's farm at the request of his wife, Marian. --Obviously PETA has already weighed in, quote: "Keeping exotic animals is inhumane and unsafe for both animals and people, and it's high time that Ohio did something about it." Supposedly Ohio has weak laws when it comes to exotic pets. (10tv / CBS)

The Occupy Wall Street Movement Talks About the "99%" and the "1%" . . . Here's How to Find Out Your Percent:

The whole mantra of the Occupy Wall Street movement is that 99% of the people in this country are fed up with the greed, entitlement, and corruption of the wealthiest 1%. --And now, you can actually figure out what "percent" you are. The "Wall Street Journal" put together a simple tool where you enter your household income and it shows you where you rank in the U.S. --For example, a $50,000-a-year income puts you at 56% . . . meaning you're making more than almost three-fifths of the country. In Occupy Wall Street terms, that DEFINITELY makes you part of the 99%. --To qualify as one of the richest 1% in the country, you need an annual household income above $506,000. --To qualify as one of the POOREST 1% in the country, you need to make less than $2,500-a-year. (Wall Street Journal) (--Find out your percentage here. For a URL that is easy to say on-air, we set up a shortcut at (--Also, keep in mind, the calculator only ranks you by income, not total wealth. You can find your percentage based on total wealth at It's on the right-hand side of the page.)

This Year's Neiman Marcus Christmas Catalog Includes Million-Dollar Dancing Fountains, a $45,000 Ping-Pong Table, and a $75,000 Tent:

Every year, Neiman Marcus puts out a Christmas catalog that includes some ridiculously expensive gifts, and this year's edition came out yesterday. A bit risky in this climate, I'd say. Hopefully no one's going to go Occupy Neiman Marcus. --Here are some of the most extravagant luxury presents they're offering up this Christmas . . .

--Dancing fountains. You know those fountains outside places like the Bellagio in Vegas that shoot water choreographed to music? For $1,000,000 you can have one installed in your backyard.

--International flower show tour. You and nine friends get flown on a private jet to flower shows all over Europe. It includes luxury hotels, gourmet meals, and it'll run you $420,000.

--Luxury yurt. It's a tent in your backyard that's designed to look like it's for an Arabian king. Plush couches, chandelier, all that. It starts at $75,000.

--Private Johnnie Walker Scotch tasting. For just $5,000, you can host 20 people at your house and try all the different Johnnie Walker labels. And everyone leaves with a $170 bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue. (--A $170 bottle of Scotch for 20 people would cost $3,400. This actually might be a good deal?!?)

--Designer ping-pong table made of black rubber. This will set you back $45,000.

--For what it's worth, in all of the item descriptions they make a HEAVY-HANDED POINT of mentioning how a portion of the purchase goes to charity. (Neiman Marcus) (--Check out the fantasy gifts catalog here.)

19% of Married People Don't Know How Much Money Their Spouse Makes:

I can't believe this many people are keeping their money a secret from their husband or wife. How do you all get away with this? HOW?
-In a new survey, 19% of married people, or just about ONE in FIVE, say they either don't know how much their spouse makes . . . or don't tell their spouse how much money they make themselves. --20% of people surveyed said they didn't know anything about how much their spouse made until they started trying to buy a house together. And 14% say they didn't know until they had a CHILD together. --The main reason people give for keeping their income quiet is that it could cause imbalances in the relationship. (Truthdive)

Half of People Check Work Emails on Vacation . . . and for 39% of Them, That's the Only Way They Can Relax:

When you're on vacation, how do you want to relax? Lay out on the beach all day? Get a massage? Have sexual relations with an exotic local? Whatever you choose . . . ALL of those are better than this. --In a new survey by TripAdvisor, 48% of people say they check work email on vacation. And for 39% of those people, they say they do it because the only way they can TRULY relax is to know what's going on at the office. Ouch. --The survey also found that 57% of people check email so they'll have less work piled up when they get back . . . 23% do it because they LOVE their job and want to stay in touch . . . and 19% do it because they can't switch off from work mode. (GoTimeshare)

People Don't Wait Three Days to Get in Touch with Someone Anymore . . . the Average is a Day and a Half:

There used to be an unwritten rule in dating where if you met someone and got their number, you waited three days to call. Well, that rule is dead. And so is actually calling people, most of the time. --According to a survey by, now people wait an average of one-and-a-half days to get in touch after getting someone's number. So if you meet someone on Saturday night, expect to hear from them by Monday afternoon. --And don't necessarily expect a call. You're more likely to get a text, an email, or a friend request on Facebook. --The survey also found that people are more persistent . . . if you don't respond to their first contact, they'll send an average of three text messages before they give up and take the hint. --After a date, women are far more likely than men to sit around waiting for the other person to contact them. 22% of women say they'll NEVER be the one who re-establishes contact after a date . . . while 5% of men say they won't contact the woman first. (New Zealand Herald)

It's Now Been Scientifically Proven That Men are Funnier Than Women . . . But Not by a Huge Margin:

I'm pretty sure there's not a guy on the planet who thinks women are funnier than men. I'm not even sure how many women believe that, deep down, they're the funnier gender. --And now, there's scientific proof to back that up. Although, in the interest of peace between the sexes . . . it's not a slam dunk. --A psychology study at the University of California, San Diego had people rate the funniness of different cartoon captions. Some were written by men, some by women. The people in the study didn't know the gender of the caption writers. --And the researchers found that 90% of the people in the study rated captions by men as funnier. BUT . . . it wasn't by a huge margin. --On a scale of one to five, men's captions averaged out to be just 0.11 points funnier than women's. In other words, men were JUST SLIGHTLY funnier than women. --The study also asked people to rate their OWN funniness on a scale of one to five . . . and men had much higher hopes for themselves than women. The average man gave himself a 2.3 . . . the average woman gave herself a 1.5 (UCSD News)

The Age When People Start to Hate Looking in the Mirror is . . . 45:

If you're under 45 years old, take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Not because we want you to think about your life and where it's going or anything. Just because we want you to squeeze in some good mirror sessions while you still enjoy them. --According to a new survey out of England, age 45 is the turning point when people STOP wanting to look at themselves in the mirror. The survey found THAT'S when people look in the mirror and can't avoid thinking about how they've AGED.

--In the survey, 51% of people 18 to 24 say they look in the mirror at least 10 times a day.

--From ages 25 to 34, that drops to 44% of people.

--From ages 35 to 44, that drops to 33% of people.

--And after age 45, only 9.4% of people look in the mirror that often. More than a quarter of people over 45 take it even further and say they try to NEVER look in the mirror. --The survey also found that women are almost three times more likely to be concerned with aging than men. 32% of young women surveyed said they're DREADING getting older versus 12% of young men. (Daily Mail)

Quick Reminder . . . the World is Still Scheduled to End Tomorrow:

HAROLD CAMPING is that evangelist who thought the world was ending on May 21st. When it didn't happen, he said the apocalypse actually HAD started, and would finish on October 21st. Which is tomorrow. --So we just wanted to remind you to be ready for the Rapture tomorrow. Make sure you have plenty of water and canned food. Also, repent. Repent, repent, repent. And drink the rest of that milk in your fridge. We don't want it to go bad. (MSNBC)


A Teenager Called 911 on His Mom While She Drove Him Home Drunk After a Blue Oyster Cult Concert:

On Saturday, 41-year-old Patricia Siciliano of Edgewater, Florida and her family went to see a BLUE OYSTER CULT concert in Ormond Beach, Florida. Patricia got DRUNK . . . but still got behind the wheel to drive her family home. --And her driving got SO reckless that her 17-year-old son started fearing for his LIFE. (--So I guess you could say he DID fear the reaper. Hi-Yo!) --He did the only thing he could think of . . . and called 911 on his mom WHILE he was in the car. --He told the dispatcher his mom was drunk, that she was driving recklessly and going over 110 miles-per-hour. When his dad tried to take the wheel, his mom started PUNCHING HIS DAD IN THE FACE. --And when she heard her son calling 911, she attacked him too. He ended up telling the police, quote, "She's not a very smart alcoholic, at all. --That turned out to be true. When the cops got there, Patricia wrestled with them and spat on them. --She was arrested and charged with domestic battery, child abuse without great harm, resisting arrest without violence, and three counts of battery on a law enforcement officer. (Daytona Beach News-Journal)

Remember the JetBlue Flight Attendant Who Flipped Out Last Year? He was Sentenced Yesterday:

Remember Steven Slater? He was the JetBlue flight attendant who got a ton of media attention last summer when he . . .

--Cursed out a rude passenger who hit him on the head with an overhead bin door.

--Grabbed two beers.

--Pulled the plane's emergency chute and slid down onto the runway at JFK Airport in New York.

--Fled back to his house.

--And was busted by the cops in the middle of having DELICIOUS MAN-ON-MAN RELATIONS with his partner.

--Anyway, he became a folk hero . . . but JetBlue let him go, and he was charged with criminal mischief, reckless endangerment, and criminal trespass. --Well he was FINALLY in court yesterday. He could've gotten up to seven years in prison . . . but he was just found guilty of misdemeanor attempted criminal mischief, and got one year of probation and a $10,000 fine. --Steven told reporters his new plan is to write a book about his 20 years of being a flight attendant and the incident last August. He said he wouldn't consider going back to JetBlue, quote, "until hell freezes over." (New York Post)


Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Washington D.C. is now the city with highest average income, ahead of San Jose, California . . . a.k.a., Silicon Valley. (Full Story)

It's becoming increasingly popular to name cats after . . . food? Think 'Sushi', 'Pringle', and 'Cabbage.' (Full Story)

Either the economy's back . . . or we're just drowning our sorrows: 23% of people are going to bars and clubs more than last year. (Full Story)


#1.) Check Out the Sound Effects Guy from "Police Academy" Doing Led Zeppelin's "Whole Lotta Love":

Remember the guy in "Police Academy" who did all the crazy sound effects with his voice? Well, his name is MICHAEL WINSLOW and he's still around. And he's still AWESOME. --He was on a talk show in Norway the other day, and did a pretty amazing version of "Whole Lotta Love" by Led Zeppelin. A guy on acoustic guitar played along. But Winslow did all the singing . . . and it was spot on. --But that wasn't even the best part. He also added the distortion, and did a crazy guitar solo. (--Search for "Michael Winslow Whole Lotta Love." He starts the solo at 1:26.)

#2.) Michael J. Fox and Corey Feldman Both Did McDonald's Ads Before They Hit It Big:

McDonald's is adding big screen TVs at 800 restaurants in California. So "The Huffington Post" tracked down a bunch of old McDonald's ads that starred celebrities before they were famous. --The video list has ads with Megan Mullally in 1983, Michael J. Fox in 1980, Corey Feldman in 1977, and Willard Scott as a CREEPY Ronald McDonald in a commercial from 1963. (--If you don't know, Scott was the ORIGINAL Ronald McDonald.) (--Search for "Huffington Post Celebrities in McDonald's Commercials.")

#3.) A Blue Whale Surfaced Right Next to a Kayaker Off the Coast of Southern California . . . So He Jumped in and Filmed it Underwater:

What would you do if you were kayaking in the open ocean, and a huge whale surfaced right next to you? JUMP IN and film it underwater, right? That's what happened to a kayaker off the coast near Los Angeles, and that's what he decided to do. --Obviously, blue whales don't attack like sharks do. But it's the largest animal on Earth, so they're still dangerous to be around. Luckily, the kayaker didn't get hurt. And he got some great video. (--Search for "Kayaking with Redondo Beach Blue Whales." He jumps in the water at 1:09 and 2:11. It comes towards him at 2:15 and goes right by him.)

The Top Seven Bachelor Pad Decorating Mistakes:

If you're a single, and you're hoping to bring someone home this weekend, Yahoo has a list of the top bachelor pad decorating mistakes. --Obviously, women make these mistakes too. But they're a lot more common with single men. Here are the top seven.

#1.) Using Bed Sheets, Flags, or Towels as Window Curtains. You can get away with it in college. But after that, it's time to spend money on some actual drapes.

#2.) Bad Lighting. A lot of guys don't care if their apartment is dark . . . because all they do is watch movies and play video games. But if you only have one overhead light, invest in a few lamps. --Even if you buy cheap ones on Craigslist, it'll make your apartment look better.

#3.) Not Buying a Dinner Table. Even if you always eat in front of the TV, there should also be somewhere two people can sit down and eat an actual meal. --That means a table . . . other than your coffee table. And somewhere to sit . . . other than your couch.
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#4.) Bright Colors That Clash. For some reason, guys like painting their walls bright colors, like neon green or sky blue. But you're better off sticking with neutral tones, like eggshell or LIGHT blue. --If you have no idea what you're doing, the Sherwin-Williams website has a "Color Visualizer" program that can help.

#5.) Too Much Sports Paraphernalia. One or two things with your favorite team on it is okay. But your apartment shouldn't be FILLED with sports stuff. It makes you look one-dimensional.

#6.) Exposed Wires Everywhere. Guys tend to have more gadgets than women do . . . or at least it LOOKS that way, because they don't hide the wires. --At the very least, untangle all the cables near your TV, and shove them behind the TV stand.

#7.) Using Patio Furniture Indoors. It's cheaper . . . but it also LOOKS cheaper. And even if it's nice, it's usually pretty obvious it belongs outside. (Yahoo)


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