SURVIVING AN ARGUMENT

SIX TIPS FOR SURVIVING AN ARGUMENT:

It's the weekend, and that means more free time to spend with the one you love . . . and more opportunities to scream at each over stupid stuff. But it doesn't HAVE to be that way. So here are six tips for surviving the next big blow-up with your significant other.

#1.) KNOW WHAT YOU'RE FIGHTING ABOUT. If you're angry that your boyfriend was flirting with the tall blonde at your office party, don't scream at him for leaving the toilet seat up.

--Yes, admitting you're jealous might make you uncomfortable. But it's honest, and at least it'll lead to a conversation about the REAL problem.

#2.) GUYS, REALIZE THAT WORDS MEAN ONE THING TO YOU . . . AND SOMETHING ELSE TO HER. It's a stereotype, but women often say one thing, when they really mean something entirely different.

So, guys, just because she's asking you a simple question, it doesn't mean you should take everything at face value. It's best to stick to the issue at hand, but listen closely and try to read between the lines.

#3.) LADIES, REALIZE THAT YOUR GUY'S EGO IS FRAGILE. Sure, it's another sexist and simplistic generalization, but men tend to define themselves by their work and their paycheck.

So, ladies, you might THINK you're just offering helpful advice when you say, "I wish we could go to a nice restaurant once in awhile, maybe you should ask for a raise." But you're really just bruising his ego.

#4.) FIGHT FAIR. If you've been with someone for a while, then you know each other's vulnerabilities. But be careful. It'll only make things worse if you tell someone they need to see a shrink, or make threats about how you're going to leave.

As lame as it seems, that self-help book advice can sometimes be right. So use the "I feel X when you do Y" construction. As in: "I feel bad when you talk about your hot ex-girlfriend." Or, "I feel angry when you make us late to a movie you don't want to see."

#5.) KNOW WHEN TO FOLD. When you're wrong . . . or even if you know you're right but just want to get the argument over with . . . it's okay to give in.

You just have to say those magic words: "I'm sorry." I know it's hard sometimes, but it's amazing what these two words can do to defuse even the worst argument.

#6.) AND KNOW WHEN TO WALK AWAY. Everybody handles arguments in their own way. But if you're constantly at each other's throats and never seem to get anywhere, it might be time to walk away.

You have to give other people a fair chance if you care about them. But you also have to realize that no matter how fair, and sensitive, and honest you are, you're never REALLY going to change someone. (Match.com)