Monday, April 12, 2010

April 12, 2010

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW
TIGER WOODS FINISHED FOURTH AT THE MASTERS:
TIGER WOODS said he was in the Masters Tournament to win it. He didn't. He came in FOURTH. -The winner was PHIL MICKELSON . . . who, rather ironically, shared a very emotional hug with his wife Amy after sealing the victory. (--It would have been an awesome "screw you" to Tiger, if that's what it was. But that hug wasn't for show.) (--This was the first tournament Amy attended since being diagnosed with breast cancer 11 months ago. So all the emotion between her and Phil was real.) --In all honesty, Tiger had some of the best excuses EVER for not playing up to his normal level. But to his credit, he didn't let himself off the hook. He was genuinely disappointed in his performance. --He said, quote, "I wanted to win this tournament. As the week went along, I kept hitting the ball worse. It was not very good." --Asked if he had booked another tournament, Tiger said, quote, "No, I will take a little time off and reevaluate things."


CHECK OUT THE "TIGER WOODS, YOU SUCK" VIDEO:

In case you somehow missed it, we can point you to the video of TIGER WOODS on Saturday, hitting a crappy tee shot, and yelling, quote, "Tiger Woods, you suck! (Gosh) dammit!" (--Here it is . . .) (--CAREFUL: Tiger DOES take the Lord's name in vain.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4fKHiL8nIw--Tiger later offered the following explanation for his outburst . . . quote, "I was just playing. I was playing hard today. And whatever emotion was, emotion was. --"I was just trying to get myself back into this tournament, because I was struggling really bad out there."


TIGER WOODS IS DEFENDING HIS NEW NIKE AD:

The new Nike ad where TIGER WOODS stares into the camera and listens to a six-year-old audio clip of his dead father EARL has caused a lot more controversy than it probably deserved to. --But Tiger likes it. He says, quote, "It's what my dad would say. It's amazing how my dad can speak to me in different ways even when he's long gone. Any son who lost a father who meant so much in their life, I think, would understand the spot." (--In case you haven't noticed, there are roughly a METRIC TON of spoofs of this commercial on the World Wide Web of Mockery.) (--This might be the funniest I've seen so far. It replaces Earl Woods' voice with CHRISTIAN BALE'S "Terminator" tantrum. It's quite brilliant . . .) (--WARNING!!! This thing is absolutely LOADED WITH UNBLEEPED PROFANITY . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGZYoAFsXqk
(--Jimmy Kimmel . . . a.k.a. THE FUNNIEST MAN IN LATE-NIGHT . . . also did a pretty awesome one using Tiger's mom. Check it out here . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Hf1WALHmNk


A PLANE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO FLY A THIRD BANNER OVER THE MASTERS TOURNAMENT WAS GROUNDED BY THE FAA:

We still don't know who flew those banners making fun of TIGER WOODS over the Masters Tournament on Thursday. But we do know why there weren't any more throughout the rest of the weekend. --TMZ says that there were going to be two more banners. But on Thursday night, the FAA performed an inspection on the plane that was supposed to fly the third one, and then GROUNDED IT. --An FAA spokesman says the plane was grounded due to, quote, "a number of mechanical issues." --But the plane's owner claims that the only problem they found was a worn-out tag on a seat belt. --Meanwhile, the company that was hired to fly the banners couldn't find any other pilots willing to take on the job. The owner of the company said, quote, "No other pilot will touch it with a ten foot pole . . . They're afraid the FAA will take apart their plane piece by piece." --The other two banners were supposedly going to read . . . --"You knew, Stevie . . . You knew" . . . (--Which is a reference to Tiger's caddy, STEVE WILLIAMS . . . who claims he had no idea Tiger was being unfaithful to his wife all these years.) --And . . . "Tiger -- Still on for the foursome? -- Jesse James".


JIM CARREY SAYS ELIN NORDEGREN HAD TO KNOW TIGER WOODS WAS CHEATING ON HER:

For some reason, JIM CARREY decided to chime in on the whole TIGER WOODS situation on Twitter the other day. --He started out by saying, quote, "I made a Tiger joke today but . . . I think it's time we checked our collective EGO and let the guy play!" --Then he added, quote, "If you really wanna see sexual dysfunction get 2 know your favorite basketball star! Curling is the only safe sport 4 a married man." --He followed that with, quote, "Tiger owes nothing 2 anyone but himself. 2 please his father he gave up his childhood and his freedom in the world. That's enough!" --Then he took a shot at Tiger's wife, ELIN NORDEGREN. He said, quote, "No wife is blind enough to miss that much infidelity. Elin had 2 b a willing participant on the ride 4 whatever reason. Kids / lifestyle ;^)" --After a number of Jim's Twitter followers cussed him out for blaming Elin, he said he didn't condone infidelity, but just thought she shared some of the responsibility for their situation. --Then he asked everyone to cut him some slack because he's, quote, "a little on edge." --We can probably assume Jim is "on edge" because of his breakup with JENNY MCCARTHY. --We still don't know what caused the split, but it sounds like it's an especially stressful time for Jenny. --She just closed the Teach2Talk Academy . . . her school for autistic children in Sherman Oaks, California . . . because of differences with the co-founder. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "I don't know who broke up with whom, but I know that for a little bit before the school fell apart Jim was going to possibly buy out Jenny's partner so the school would be all Jenny's. --"Then, next thing I heard, [Jenny] was moving out [from Carrey's house]. Jenny McCarthy has had . . . the worst two months of her life. Her school and her man all vanished in about 60 days."


IS ELIZABETH TAYLOR GETTING MARRIED FOR THE NINTH TIME???

"Us Weekly" claims that ELIZABETH TAYLOR is about to make The Big Mistake for the NINTH TIME. (!!!) -The "lucky" man is JASON WINTERS, of the Sterling Winters talent agency. He and Liz have been a RUMORED couple for years now. He's 49 . . . Liz is 78. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "It's no secret that they've been together forever and are in love, so it wouldn't be a surprise if they were engaged. Right now they are keeping it between them." --Here's the thing, though: Some people claim that Jason Winters is GAY . . . and like many a gay man, he's obsessed with Liz Taylor. But at the same time, he has a MALE partner, and they've been together for years. (--Maybe this is true, maybe it isn't. Liz has been pretty clear since her eighth marriage . . . to construction worker Larry ortensky . . . ended in 1996 that she wasn't gonna walk the aisle again.) (--But there's no law against changing your mind. Especially after 14 years.) (--Liz's ex-husbands include Conrad Hilton Jr. He was Paris Hilton's great uncle, although he died in 1969, long before Paris was born.) (--She also married Richard Burton TWICE. And she broke up Princess Leia's parents when she stole EDDIE FISHER from DEBBIE REYNOLDS in the late 1950s.) (--It was a Hollywood sex scandal that was easily as big in its day as the whole Angelina Jolie / Brad Pitt / Jennifer Aniston triangle.)


LADY GAGA IS TALKING CELIBACY AGAIN:

LADY GAGA must be serious about that whole CELIBACY thing . . . because she's still talking about it. While discussing an AIDS awareness program she's involved in, she said, quote, "I can't believe I'm saying this . . . don't have sex. --"I'm single right now and I've chosen to be single because I don't have the time to get to know anybody. So it's OK not to have sex, it's OK to get to know people. I'm celibate, celibacy's fine. --"It's OK to be whomever it is that you want to be. You don't have to have sex to feel good about yourself, and if you're not ready, don't do it. And if you are ready, there are free condoms given away at my concerts when you're leaving!" --She added, quote, "When you're in the public eye, you're a role model whether you want to be or not. And I want to be. I'm not one of those self-obsessed artists who don't care about their fans. It's not just about the music."


DEMI MOORE SAYS SHE AND ASHTON KUTCHER WANT TO HAVE A KID:

DEMI MOORE is 47 years old. Her oldest child is 21 and her youngest is 16. But she's ready to be a mother again. She and ASHTON KUTCHER . . . who's 32 . . . are talking about reproducing. --Demi says, quote, "We talk about it and it's something that we would like. He's an amazing father to my daughters already, so I have no doubt that if it's in our future, it would be another incredible part of our journey together."


"GLEE" STAR JANE LYNCH IS ENGAGED:

JANE LYNCH . . . who plays cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester on "Glee" . . . confirmed that she's engaged to her partner, a psychologist by the name of Lara Embry. --She told "Us Weekly", quote, "It's true. We don't have any plans at all yet. But I have a ring and everything. We're very happy and very excited."


"DESIGNING WOMEN" STAR DIXIE CARTER HAS DIED:

"Designing Women" star DIXIE CARTER died Saturday of complications from endometrial cancer. She was 70 years old. -Dixie's husband, actor HAL HOLBROOK, issued the following statement . . . quote, "This has been a terrible blow to our family. We would appreciate everyone understanding that this is a private family tragedy." --Dixie starred as Julia Sugarbaker on "Designing Women" . . . which ran from 1986 to 1993. Before that, she played Gary Coleman's new stepmom on "Diff'rent Strokes" from 1984 to 1985. --Dixie also starred on the CBS series "Family Law", which ran from 1999 to 2002 . . . and she did a seven-episode guest stint on "Desperate Housewives" a few years ago, playing the mother-in-law of Marcia Cross's character, Brie. --Dixie and Hal met on the set of a TV movie called "The Killing of Randy Webster" in 1980, and were married four years later. --Upon hearing of Dixie's death, "Designing Women" co-star ANNIE POTTS said, quote, "Dixie Carter was a goddess. Beautiful and brainy, smart and funny, prim and sexy, wickedly talented and divinely sweet . . . --". . . She loved fiercely and was adored in return. To have known her a little was a delight to all. To have known her well, a treasure beyond reckoning. And now, a loss beyond measure."


THE MUNCHKIN CORONER FROM "THE WIZARD OF OZ" IS DEAD:

MEINHARDT RAABE . . . who played the Munchkin coroner in "The Wizard of Oz" . . . died Friday morning after suffering a heart attack at his retirement home in Florida. He was 94 years old. --Raabe . . . (--pronounced RAH-bee) . . . was one of only a handful of Munchkins still living . . . and the last one alive with any significant dialogue in the film.--He's the one who pronounced the Wicked Witch of the East dead by singing . . . "As coroner, I must averI thoroughly examined herAnd she's not only merely deadShe's really, most sincerely dead!"--"The Wizard of Oz" . . . released in 1939 . . . was Raabe's only film. He also had a master's degree in business administration from Drexel University.


DID SNOOKI FROM "JERSEY SHORE" ONLY MAKE $2,200 LAST YEAR???

Those morons from MTV's "Jersey Shore" are EVERYWHERE these days. But that didn't translate into big bucks for them right off the bat. --"Parade" magazine dropped its annual "What People Earn" edition yesterday . . . and they say the show's breakout star, NICOLE "SNOOKI" POLIZZI, only banked $2,200 in 2009. (???) --That's $200 per episode for the first season of "Jersey Shore" . . . which shot last year and aired from December of '09 through this past January. There were 11 episodes in all. --It's not clear if that's ALL the money Snooki made in '09, or if that's all she made from the show. --Either way, she'll earn a lot more this year. Shooting on Season Two is currently underway, and cast members are now being paid a reported $10,000 per episode. --Plus, ever since "Jersey Shore" blew up, she and other members of the cast have been able to make big bucks from personal appearances. "Parade" magazine dropped its annual "What People Earn" edition yesterday. Here, in no particular order, is what some of the celebrities on the list banked in 2009 . . .
--Tiger Woods, $110 million--Jay Leno, $32 million--Taylor Swift, $17.2 million--Kanye West, $25 million--Supreme Court Justice Sonya Sotomayor, $208,100--Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, $3 BILLION--Ellen DeGeneres, $35 million--James Cameron, $50 million--Kristen Stewart, $16 million--"Twilight" author Stephenie Meyer, $50 million--Olympic skier Lindsey Vonn, $3 million--Johnny Depp, $25 million--Glenn Beck, $23 million--Michael Vick, $1.6 million


THERE WAS A PRIVATE MEMORIAL DINNER FOR COREY HAIM THIS PAST THURSDAY NIGHT:

On Friday, we heard that there was going to be a private memorial dinner for COREY HAIM. But it turns out that the dinner had actually taken place the previous night. --It went down at a restaurant in Marina Del Ray, California. Attendees included COREY FELDMAN, of course . . . plus Kristy Swanson, "Teen Witch" star Robyn Lively, former "Baywatch" minx Nicole Eggert . . . --. . . "Diff'rent Strokes" stud Todd Bridges and former "Playboy" Playmate Julie McCullough. (--She was Kirk Cameron's girlfriend on "Growing Pains" . . . until she got fired for posing nude.) Judy Haim . . . Corey's mother . . . was also there. --Swanson said, quote, "It was like a reunion. Robyn brought tons of old pictures . . . lots of people with crazy hair and funny clothes, and people gave Judy gifts. --"I had a picture of me with Corey on the set of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer', and I gave that to her. There were no speeches, just lots of picture-taking, talking and sharing pictures of our kids."


"DATE NIGHT" IS THE NEW #1 MOVIE IN AMERICA:

So much for the "Clash of the Titans". It proved to be no match for the TRUE acting titans, STEVE CARELL and TINA FEY. Their new flick "Date Night" raked in $27 million to push "Titans" down to second place. Here are the Top 10 movies in the country . . .
1.) (NEW) "Date Night", $27.1 million 2.) "Clash of the Titans", $26.9 million (--Up to a total of $110 million in its 2nd week.)3.) "How to Train Your Dragon", $25.4 million (--Up to a total of $134 million in its 3rd week.)

CHECK OUT THE NEW "SEX AND THE CITY 2" TRAILER:

The latest trailer for "Sex and the City 2" is online. The movie comes out May 27th. (--Check it out . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjWl-82Yau4


CHECK OUT A NEW CLIP FROM "TOY STORY 3":

Barbie meets Ken for the first time in a new clip from "Toy Story 3" that hit the web the other day. It's pretty amusing. (--It comes out June 18th. Here's the clip . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fi_t_GkG5ZU


ANNETTE BENING AND JULIANNE MOORE PLAY A LESBIAN COUPLE IN A NEW MOVIE:

ANNETTE BENING and JULIANNE MOORE play a lesbian couple with two teenage kids in an R-rated comedy called "The Kids Are All Right". --HI-larity ensues when the kids track down the sperm donor their moms used to conceive them. MARK RUFFALO plays the dad as that classic "loser-with-a-heart-of-gold"-type character. (--The movie comes out July 7th and, before you ask, yeah that's the chick from "Alice in Wonderland". Here's the trailer . . .) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdDSqgZ87fM


WILL ROBERT PATTINSON PLAY KURT COBAIN???

We probably can't believe this just yet, but Britain's not-always-reliable "Sun" tabloid claims that ROBERT PATTINSON has landed the lead role in a movie about NIRVANA singer KURT COBAIN. --The "Sun" claims that it was COURTNEY LOVE'S call to cast Pattinson in the movie . . . which is currently being called "All Apologies". --She'd also like SCARLETT JOHANSSON to play her . . . but there's no word if that's actually happening. --Courtney . . . who has some say in the decision-making process . . . is hoping to get DAVID FINCHER to direct. --He's the guy who did "Seven", "Fight Club" and "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". (--Obviously, we'll let you know if any aspect of this story is true . . . OR we'll pass along the appropriate denials as they come to us.)


CHARLIE SHEEN SAYS THE SPECULATION ABOUT HIS CONTRACT NEGOTIATIONS IS FALSE . . . AND THAT HE *COULD* BE DONE WITH "TWO AND A HALF MEN":

CHARLIE SHEEN has finally commented on all the speculation over his future with "Two and a Half Men" and his contract negotiations with CBS. --Because Charlie is already THE highest paid actor on TV, and because he'll probably make a lot more if he signs a new contract . . . it always seemed unlikely that he would even consider walking away. But apparently, he's prepared to do just that. --In a statement to "People" magazine, Charlie said, quote, "Approaching the start of the current season and as far back as June '09, I submitted my terms for Season Eight to Warner Bros. and CBS respectfully. --"Both parties have known the score for over a year. In no way, has this been a hasty or negligent eleventh hour surprise. I offer this information out of love and respect to my crew, my on-set family, my writers, executive staff, as well as my real family, my dear friends and my loyal fans. --"If [this] is the end for me as Charlie Harper, so be it. Another journey has begun. I take from the experience 161 shows filled with a kaleidoscope of amazing experiences, memories, friendships and gratitude. I remain humbly inspired." --Charlie added, quote, "All of the [salary] numbers reported in the press are false. Claims from 'inside sources' regarding offers from the studio as well as my salary, on their best day, are without merit." He didn't reveal any REAL numbers, naturally. --For the record, the general consensus . . . from several online sources . . . is that Charlie made between $800,000 and $875,000 per episode this season. (--That works out to between $17.6 million and $19.3 million for the season.) --If you're thinking that this, like everything else, has just been a negotiating ploy on Charlie's part, his rep would like to set you straight. --He says, quote, "A negotiation ploy is something you do to get the best possible deal. Charlie told them what he wanted a year ago." (--It's still too early to give much weight to this. The two sides have another month to come to terms . . . and regardless of his salary, Charlie makes A LOT of money doing the show. And the show makes A LOT of money for CBS.) (--According to "Forbes", "Two and a Half Men" is the second most profitable series in primetime . . . behind only "American Idol".)


THE "AMERICAN IDOL" JUDGES WILL APPEAR ON "THE SIMPSONS":

All four "American Idol" judges . . . SIMON COWELL, KARA DIOGUARDI, ELLEN DEGENERES and RANDY JACKSON . . . will lend their voices to the season finale of "The Simpsons" on May 23rd. --On the episode, Moe the bartender will be visiting the "Idol" set.


MANDY MOORE WILL GUEST STAR ON "GREY'S ANATOMY":
"TV Guide" is reporting that MANDY MOORE will guest-star on the two-hour season finale of "Grey's Anatomy" on May 20th. For now, all we know is that she'll be playing a patient who's treated by CHANDRA WILSON'S character, Bailey.


THE "LOST" FINALE WILL BE A PROGRAMMING EXTRAVAGANZA:

The two-hour SERIES finale of "Lost" . . . which will air from 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on May 23rd . . . will be preceded by a two-hour "Lost" special from 7:00 to 9:00 P.M. --And afterwards, JIMMY KIMMEL will host a comedy special called "Lost: After the Final Rose". So, ABC will have at least five hours of "Lost"-related programming on that night.

AEROSMITH WAS SAVED BY "CRISIS TALKS":

AEROSMITH spent the last few months of last year in what appeared to be a slow disintegration . . . before they suddenly announced that everything was fine. --And now, the band credits "crisis talks" for getting everybody on the same page. --Bassist TOM HAMILTON tells the "Boston Herald", quote, "Management [was] there. There was a lot of sort of reconciling and processing feelings and stuff. --"Everyone said how they wanted things to be in the future and it became clear that, for everybody, the coolest thing to do would be to resolve things with the band. The phone was ringing. People wanted to see the band. --"We finally realized, even with all the B.S. flying around, that there was a beautiful thing right there if we had enough sense to grab it." --Tom said that singer STEVEN TYLER'S willingness to go to rehab for painkiller addiction helped it happen. He said Steven did a 30-day "intensive sobriety treatment" . . . and then remained in a rehab program for 60 days after that. --He added, quote, "He took a really big step and it was really great."


THE 10 BEST GUITARISTS OF THE PAST 30 YEARS:

BBC News recently conducted a survey to determine The 10 Best Guitarist of the Past 30 Years . . . and former RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS guitarist JOHN FRUSCIANTE came out on top. (--Around 30,000 people took part in the poll.)
--SLASH came in second. Here's the complete list:
#1.) JOHN FRUSCIANTE . . . formerly of the RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS#2.) SLASH . . . formerly of GUNS N' ROSES and VELVET REVOLVER#3.) MATT BELLAMY . . . of MUSE#4.) JOHNNY MARR . . . formerly of THE SMITHS and MODEST MOUSE#5.) TOM MORELLO . . . of RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE#6.) KIRK HAMMETT . . . of METALLICA#7.) JONNY GREENWOOD . . . of RADIOHEAD#8.) PRINCE#9.) JACK WHITE . . . of the WHITE STRIPES and THE DEAD WEATHER, etc.#10.) PETER BUCK . . . of R.E.M.


DRUMMER CHAD SMITH WORKED ON A CHILDREN'S ALBUM, WHICH ALSO FEATURES DICK VAN DYKE RAPPING:

There's a new children's album out, which features RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS drummer CHAD SMITH, and 84-year-old legend DICK VAN DYKE . . . rapping. -The album, "Rhythm Train", was created by a children's music singer named LESLIE BIXLER . . . who also happens to be Chad's kids' preschool music teacher. It was released online earlier this year. --Chad says, quote, "I am certainly no rapper but I helped guide Dick with it the first day. It was pretty funny. --"He can [get] away with it, because it's supposed to be silly. That's not his normal thing. He comes from a different world, but he was up for it, man."(--Sample Dick's rap skills in this promo clip . . .)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHudfLZdaSA--To listen to audio samples or to purchase the whole album, hit up this website: TheRhythmTrain.com. --By the way, Dick isn't a big fan of rap music. He says, quote, "At my age, my generation, we are not particularly rap-crazy. Rap has a great beat, but I swear to God, I have never been able to understand one word. I don't know what they're saying."


NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

THE MORE YOU SHAVE, THE MORE SEX YOU'LL HAVE:

If you hate shaving, here's some extra motivation to stop looking like a bum. --According to a new survey from Schick . . . one that's probably just a LITTLE biased . . . men who shave at least five times a week have two times as much sex as men who don't. --Guys who shave fewer than five times a week have sex an average of 7.8 times a month. Meanwhile, guys who shave five or more times a week have sex an average of 15.5 times a month. And that's not all . . . --The study also found that men who shave five times a week are twice as likely to have a job. They're also much less likely to still live at home with their parents. --Overall, THREE in FOUR women say it's a turn-on when a man is cleanly shaven, because it shows he's self-aware and comfortable with himself. --And in other "manscaping" news . . . the hot, new grooming technique for guys is NOSTRIL WAXING. --At least that's according to the organizers of something called 'The Man Expo.' It took place last weekend in Springville, Utah (--about 50 miles south of Salt Lake City). --According to one guy who visited the nose-waxing booth at the expo, quote, "My nose feels beautiful and slender. It feels five pounds lighter." (Shaving Shack / Salt Lake Tribune)


A GUY TRIED TO KEEP A SUICIDAL WOMAN FROM JUMPING OFF A BUILDING, BUT SHE ACCIDENTALLY PULLED HIM OVER THE EDGE:

Now it's time to recognize our Hero of the Day . . . 48-year-old Robert Smith of Allentown, Pennsylvania (--about 50 miles north of Philadelphia). --Robert's an attendant at a place called Mount Trexler Manor. It's a home for people with emotional and behavioral disorders. And last Monday, a 20-year-old female patient there climbed onto the roof of the three-story building, and threatened to jump off. --To make sure that didn't happen, Robert raced up to the roof and tried to talk her down. But things didn't exactly go according to plan. . .--While they were talking, the patient turned to jump, Robert lunged to stop her, she grabbed Robert's shirt, and they BOTH went over the edge. And THAT'S not even the craziest part. --While they were falling, Robert maneuvered his body in mid-air so the woman would land on top of him. The idea was to break her fall. According to Robert's uncle, quote, "That's the nature of the type of person he is." --Robert hit the ground first, shattering bones in both his arms, while the woman walked away with just a few minor injuries. --And according to his doctors, Robert's going to need multiple surgeries and months of rehab before he can use his arms again. And there's no guarantee he'll regain full use. (Philadelphia Inquirer)


A DRUNK DRIVER HIT THE JUDGE WHO SPARED HIM JAIL TIME ON A PREVIOUS DRUNK DRIVING ARREST:

Up until a few years ago, 86-year-old Edwin Collier worked as a district judge in Montgomery County, Maryland (--just north of Washington, D.C.). --In his time on the bench, Edwin presided over thousands of drunk driving cases, including one in 1998 involving 45-year-old Rene Fernandez. --It was Rene's second drunk driving arrest in less than three months, and Edwin could have sentenced him to a couple months in prison. Instead, he gave him a six-month suspended sentence and one year of probation. --Fast forward to last August. Edwin and his 82-year-old wife Ellen were driving their Honda Accord on a Friday afternoon, when a Chevy Tahoe in oncoming traffic started swerving, veered into their lane, and smashed into them head-on. --Ellen broke her leg, her hip, and some ribs, and injured her neck so badly that she had to have some of her vertebrae fused together. And Edwin broke his leg and some ribs too. Now she has to use a walker, and he has to use a cane. --Their injuries were so bad, they had to move into a retirement community where they could be cared for 24/7. But here's the worst part . --The driver of the SUV was Rene Fernandez . . . the same guy Edwin had let off without prison time in 1998. (!!!) --Apparently, Rene had managed to stay out of trouble since his last run-in with the law. But when he was arrested this time around, his blood-alcohol content was more than twice the legal limit. --Rene is expected in court this week. He's been charged with driving under the influence, as well as causing life-threatening injuries while intoxicated. --According to Edwin and Ellen's attorney, quote, "It's just a total irony. This shouldn't happen to anyone. It certainly shouldn't have happened to them . . . Their whole life has changed irreparably." (Washington Post)


THE NEW HEALTH CARE BILL REQUIRES COMPANIES TO PROVIDE A ROOM WHERE WOMEN CAN BREASTFEED:

And now . . . here's fact number 342 you didn't know about the new health care bill: --On page 1,239, it requires all companies with more than 50 workers to provide a place, quote, "other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view . . . which may be used by an employee to express BREAST MILK." --That's right . . . the new health care bill forces employers to provide a private room where new mothers can squeeze milk out of their cans. (CNN)


BRIBING YOUR KIDS TO READ CAN HELP THEM DO BETTER IN SCHOOL:

Parenthood isn't so much about whether or not you'll bribe your kids. Eventually, you will. That's just part of the deal. But knowing WHEN and HOW to bribe your kids . . . that's the real key. Which brings me to this . . . -A new study from Harvard University has found that bribing kids to read . . . even for as little as $2 a book . . . can improve their standardized test scores and overall grades. And kids will continue to do better in school even after the rewards stop. --At the same time, bribing kids to just "get better grades" or "get higher test scores" doesn't work as well, because those are long-term goals, and most kids don't have a clear enough understanding how to do it. --A guy named Roland Fryer Jr. led the study. He says, quote, "If you pay a kid to read books, their grades go up higher than if you actually pay a kid for grades . . . Isn't that cool?" (Yahoo News)


A GUY ON A SCOOTER CAUGHT A THIEF AND SAT ON TOP OF HIM UNTIL THE COPS SHOWED UP:

Meet Charles Salvatore of Port Richey, Florida (--about 25 miles northwest of Tampa). --On Friday, Charles was collecting donations for the American Liver Foundation with his niece and two nephews. It's a cause that's important to Charles' family because they recently lost a loved one to liver disease. --Anyway, Charles and the kids had already collected $170 when 25-year-old John Marika rode up on his bike, snatched the donations jar, and took off. --So Charles hopped onto his scooter, and chased after him. Eventually, Charles caught up with John and tackled him to the ground. Then he sat on top of him until the cops showed up. (!!!) --Officials say John will most likely be charged with strong-armed robbery. (WTSP News 10 - Tampa / ABC Action News - Tampa)


NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) HERE'S A HARD-HITTING NEWS REPORT FROM IOWA ABOUT THE WORLD'S TALLEST GARDEN GNOME:
With two wars on, lingering economic uncertainty, and historic changes to health care, it's nice to know the journalists at Channel 8 in Des Moines, Iowa, are covering the tough issues . . . like the unveiling of the world's tallest garden gnome. (--Search for "Giant Garden Gnome Appears In Iowa.") http://www.kcci.com/entertainment/23101808/detail.html

#2.) A FULLY GROWN COW GOT STUCK IN A STORM DRAIN: A cow in Utah wandered into a culvert, walked a few hundred yards, and ended up stuck in a storm drain. Animal Control tried to get it out with a lasso, then sent in a dog to chase it out. Eventually they tore the road open with a backhoe and used a crane.(--Search for "Cow Stuck in Drain.") http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iguHTuGicOk
#3.) CHECK OUT THE DEMOLITION OF THE DALLAS COWBOYS' OLD STADIUM:Over 20,000 people watched the controlled implosion of Texas Stadium yesterday morning. The Dallas Cowboys played 38 seasons there, from 1971 until 2008, when they moved to the new $1.2 billion state-of-the-art Cowboys Stadium. --The old stadium was famous for having a big opening over the field, since the retractable roof they originally planned didn't work out. It's also where they filmed "Any Given Sunday" and that MEAN JOE GREENE Coke commercial. (--Search for "Texas stadium implosion." Here's the demolition, and the classic Mean Joe Greene commercial. He played for the Pittsburgh Steelers.)Stadium Demolition: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyXNxwZmmNQMean Joe Greene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xffOCZYX6F8
FOUR REASONS BEING NICE HURTS YOUR CAREER:

Researchers at the University of Denver studied 1,500 people for 20 years, and found that NICE people got fewer promotions and made less money. Here are four reasons why . . .

#1.) NICE PEOPLE DON'T LIKE CONFRONTATION. When you're an entry-level employee, it's doesn't really matter if you avoid confrontation. But once you're in a position of power, you have to take a stand sometimes, and you have to be firm. --That means recognizing GREAT ideas, and shooting down BAD ones. And nice people don't like to do that.

#2.) NICE PEOPLE DON'T MOTIVATE OTHERS. When you're supervising other people, your job is to get as much out of them as you can. But if you're too nice, you're less likely to tell people what they're doing wrong. -Basically, that means nice people don't get things done. And if you can't save the company money or improve efficiency in some way, you're less likely to be promoted.
#3.) NICE PEOPLE DON'T SPEAK UP. You're much more likely to get a raise or a promotion if you're pro-active about it. That means YOU request a meeting about it with your boss, and explain exactly why you deserve one. --But nice people don't want to rock the boat, so they keep quiet.
#4.) NICE PEOPLE DON'T LIKE FIRING THEIR FRIENDS. Nice people are less likely to put themselves in a situation where they have to fire someone. But if you want more money and more responsibility, it's inevitable. (CareerBuilder.com)

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