Wednesday, January 5, 2011



Could Lindsay Lohan Be Headed Back to Prison for Assaulting a Betty Ford Employee?

Last month, while most of us were off getting substandard gifts from our annoying relatives, news broke about a little "incident" involving LINDSAY LOHAN at the Betty Ford Center. --It actually occurred on December 12th. Lindsay and two of her fellow patients snuck out of the clinic after curfew. --Upon their return, they were confronted by security . . . who called in a "chemical dependency technician" named Dawn Holland to administer drug and alcohol tests. --Lindsay pitched a fit. She refused to be tested, then threw her phone at Dawn . . . and yanked Dawn's phone out of her hand, spraining her wrist. --The story didn't come out until a few days before Christmas, when Dawn spoke to TMZ about it. --A police report was filed, but Dawn ended up dropping the case, claiming she didn't want to see Lindsay prosecuted. She was then FIRED from Betty Ford for revealing confidential patient information to TMZ. But that's not where this ends. --Even though Dawn dropped out of the case, the cops did not. They continued to investigate . . . and they've come to the conclusion that Lindsay committed battery on Dawn Holland, thus violating her probation. --Of course, that's not their call. It's up to the local district attorney to decide whether or not to charge Lindsay. --And it's up to Judge Elden Fox to decide if she violated her probation on those two DUIs from 2007. (--As it stands, Lindsay is on probation until next August.) --Fox has said that if Lindsay violates her probation or fails another drug test before her next court date on February 25th, he'll incarcerate her for up to SIX MONTHS. (--Of course, we've seen Judge Fox talk tough to Lindsay before, then totally backtrack when it comes to actually punishing her. It'll be interesting to see if he does it again this time.) (--But the only way he's going to have to make a decision on punishment is if Lindsay IS charged with battery. If she's not, then it's a non-issue.) (--Meanwhile, the paparazzi caught up with Lindsay yesterday. She seemed in good shape and spirits . . .)

Did Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal Break Up?

Congratulations, JAKE GYLLENHAAL: You are officially a future TAYLOR SWIFT lyric! "People" magazine says that Jake and Taylor broke up last month. --There's no official word why, but "Us Weekly" claims it was Jake who walked. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "Jake reached out to her and started all of this, but now he's not acting as interested. --"He said he wasn't feeling it anymore and was uncomfortable with all the attention they got. He also said he could feel the age difference." (--Jake is 30 . . . Taylor is 21.) --"Taylor is really upset. We told her not to move so fast with this but she didn't listen." --Another source added, quote, "Jake cares about her, but [the publicity] was a lot for him. He wants to keep his private life private, and that's hard to do dating Taylor." --Jake and Taylor spent the last few months of 2010 hitting just about every coffee shop on the East and West Coasts together.

Meg Ryan and John Mellencamp Seem to be Hanging Out a Lot Together These Days:

Officially, we still don't know if MEG RYAN and JOHN MELLENCAMP are dating. But that's what it looks like. --On Monday, they were spotted together in New York City . . . and before that, they hit up Martha's Vineyard. -A so-called "source" says they've been dating for about seven weeks . . . but Mellencamp and his wife had already been separated for quite a while. --John just announced his impending divorce a few days ago. (--Here's video of John and Meg in New York . . .)
--Meanwhile, got a hold of some pictures of John and Meg from TWO YEARS AGO. But here's the thing . . . John's soon-to-be-ex-wife, Elaine, is with them. --They were taken after John was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame back in March of 2008. (--Check 'em out here . . .)

Vivica Fox Is Engaged:

VIVICA FOX is engaged. And not surprisingly, her new man is a lot younger. --His name is Omar White, and he's a club promoter in Atlanta. He's 27 years old . . . and Vivica is 46.

Sherri Shepherd is Engaged:

SHERRI SHEPHERD . . . one of the less-intelligent yentas on "The View" . . . is engaged to TV writer Lamar Sally. (--There's no word what he's doing now, but he used to write for the ABC sitcom "Rodney", which ran from 2004 to 2006.) --Lamar popped the question the day after Christmas, and they plan to get married in August. They were introduced by NIECY NASH'S fiancé, and they've been dating for about a year.

Dr. Conrad Murray's Preliminary Hearing Began Yesterday:

The preliminary hearing began yesterday for DR. CONRAD MURRAY . . . the man accused of killing MICHAEL JACKSON. --In opening statements, Deputy District Attorney David Walgren said Murray caused Michael's death through a combination of negligence and self-serving decisions. --We've heard all of this before, so I'll just give you a brief rehash . . . --Walgren said that after knocking Michael out with the powerful anesthetic propofol, Murray left the room to make a phone call. It was only about 10 minutes later that he realized something was wrong. --But he didn't call 911 right away. Instead, he called Michael's security detail. Then he started performing CPR on Michael . . . but only with ONE HAND and with Michael on a SOFT BED. --And when security guard Alberto Alvarez arrived, Murray told him to hide some medical paraphernalia in a bag . . . probably because he didn't want authorities to see it. --Only then did he instruct Alvarez to call 911 . . . somewhere between nine and 21 minutes after he discovered Michael in a state of duress. -When paramedics finally arrived, Dr. Murray made no mention of the fact that Michael had been given propofol. --Ultimately, the prosecutor said, Michael was already dead by the time the EMTs showed up. --The prosecutor called several witnesses, including "High School Musical" director KENNY ORTEGA . . . who was directing Michael's "This Is It" concert series in England. --Dr. Murray's attorney declined to make an opening statement. The hearing is expected to last about seven or eight days. (--The preliminary hearing is where the court decides if there's enough evidence to formally charge the defendant. Dr. Murray is looking at a possible manslaughter charge.)

Montel Williams Was Busted at an Airport with a Pot Pipe:

MONTEL WILLIAMS has never hidden the fact that he smokes pot to deal with the pain caused by his multiple sclerosis. --But maybe he should have been a little more discreet about it when he passed through a security checkpoint at General Mitchell International Airport in Milwaukee yesterday. --Montel's pot pipe set off a metal detector . . . and he ended up paying a $484 fine before being allowed to continue his travels. The pipe was in Montel's carry-on bag, and it didn't have any residue in it.

"American Idol" Producers Have Revealed More of the Changes That Are Coming This Season:

With all the "big" changes that are being teased for the upcoming 10th season of "American Idol" . . . it'll be interesting to see if the producers are able to breathe new life into the show. Or at least, keep it afloat. --And it's not just STEVEN TYLER and JENNIFER LOPEZ joining the judges' panel. Here's a relatively quick rundown of the changes coming this season: --As we'd heard before, there won't be a Top 24 this season. Instead, the Hollywood round will be expanded, and they'll skip directly to the Top 12. (--Or the Top 10. The producers aren't sure on that yet. They say the talent will dictate it.) --Executive producer Nigel Lythgoe told "Entertainment Weekly" that part of the "Hollywood round" will actually take place in Las Vegas . . . where 60 contestants will each have to perform a BEATLES song. --Although the Top 24 won't exist as it has in the past, America will help pick the finalists . . . in a so-called "sudden death Top 20 round." It's a little unclear, but it sounds like a single round of voting will pick the finalists out of the Top 20. --And "Idol" isn't picking the best among the guys and girls separately. For example, it'll just be the Top 12 (or 10) singers . . . not the six best guys and the six best girls. So, no one will be screwed if one gender is stronger than the other. --That's it for the OFFICIAL changes . . . but there are a lot of rumors going around about other changes. Most of them haven't been officially addressed yet, but one of them has been pulled off the table. --Executive producer Cecile Frot-Coutaz denied speculation that the show was considering having the contestants make music videos to test their performance and acting skills. --One of the more interesting rumors we've heard is that "Idol" was thinking about introducing a challenge where new contestants would be pitted against former winners and finalists. --Sources say "Idol" gave up on the idea when they weren't able to draw any interest from their more successful alumni. --"American Idol" premieres Wednesday, January 19th.

Leif Garrett Claims "Celebrity Rehab" Producers Asked Him to Relapse:

Former child star LEIF GARRETT is a cast member on the current season of "Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew" . . . and now, he's saying that when the show was taping, the producers ASKED him to relapse. --He tells the "Los Angeles Times", quote, "[The producers] asked to get some footage of me using, and I said, 'I haven't been using.' They said, 'We really have to get footage of you using.' Anyway, I was easily talked into showing them." --However, VH1 says that's a LIE. One of the network's higher-ups said, quote, "The show's producers would never ask anyone to use . . . PERIOD." (--While it's very hard to believe that "Celebrity Rehab" would really ASK someone to relapse for dramatic effect, it's not hard to believe that Dr. Drew would be more interested in "dramatic effects" than actually rehabbing.)

Will Gwyneth Paltrow Perform a Duet with Cee Lo Green on "SNL"?

GWYNETH PALTROW will host "Saturday Night Live" on January 15th . . . with musical guest CEE LO GREEN. --Naturally, there's talk that the episode could feature a DUET between the two . . . since Gwyneth performed "Forget You" . . . the censored version of Cee Lo's hit "(Eff) You" . . . on "Glee" back in November. --And while a performance hasn't been confirmed, it seems all but inevitable. --Yesterday, Cee Lo said that he and Gwyneth are currently in the studio together recording a NEW version of the song. (--It's unclear how and when it'll be released.)

Tuesday Night's Special NFL Broadcast of the Vikings-Eagles Game Was Last Week's #1 Show . . . Dick Clark Had to Settle for 17th:

Football dominated this week, taking 4 of the Top 5 spots in the ratings. Tuesday's special weather-delayed game between the Minnesota Vikings and Philadelphia Eagles was your #1 show with almost 24 million viewers. --"Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve" had 9.2 million viewers, which was only good enough for 17th place. Dick looked pretty good for an 81-year-old who had a stroke seven years ago . . . but you still have to wonder how much longer he can keep it up.

1.) The special weather-delayed "NFL Tuesday" game, NBC, 23.7 million viewers (--The Minnesota Vikings beat the Philadelphia Eagles, 24-14.)

2.) "Sunday Night Football", NBC, 19.4 million viewers (--The Seattle Seahawks beat the St. Louis Rams, 6-16.)

3.) "Sunday Night NFL Pre-Kick", NBC, 15.1 million viewers

WEDNESDAY TV REMINDERS: (--Check your local listings.)

--Paula Abdul's "Live to Dance" [Audition Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

--"Modern Family" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on ABC. (--"X-Men's" James Marsden guest stars as Cam and Mitchell's well-toned neighbor Barry.)

--"Dog the Bounty Hunter" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on A&E. (--Leland asks for Dog's help after being strung along for months by a 300-pound felon.)

--"Ghost Hunters International" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Syfy.

--"People's Choice Awards 2011" . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Queen Latifah is this year's host. You'll find all the nominees here . . .)

--"1000 Ways to Die" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Spike TV.

--"Primetime: Celebrity Weight Loss - What Really Happens" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Ricki Lake, Kendra Wilkinson, and Bethenny Frankel discuss weight loss, childhood obesity, natural-food cooking, portion control and exercise.)

--"Miracle Detectives" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on OWN. (--Journalist Randall Sullivan and scientist Indre Viskontas travel the world investigating random miracles for logical explanations.)

--"Are We There Yet?" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on TBS. (--Ice Cube and Eddie Murphy's brother Charlie Murphy guest star.)

Justin Bieber Expects More Boy Fans After He Turns 18:

Young girls like JUSTIN BIEBER. A lot. But in a new interview with "Vanity Fair", Justin says he expects his fan base to become more diverse as he grows up. --He says, quote, "For younger guys, it's like they're not cool if they come to my concert. That'll [change], I think . . . it'll happen, maybe when I'm 18." --As for the girls, Justin is very aware of how many teen girls WANT him . . . but he insists he has more going for him than just his stardom. --He says, quote, "Not trying to be arrogant, but if I walked down the street and a girl saw me, she might take a look back because maybe I'm good-looking, right?" --Here are a few other highlights from the interview . . . -Justin says that a lot of his idols growing up happened to be black musicians . . . quote, "Music is music, and I'm definitely influenced by Michael Jackson and Boyz II Men and people who were black artists . . . that's what I like. --"I like their voices and I like how they entertain. It's not about what color they are. --And in perhaps his most controversial statement, Justin says that he'd like to try dropping LSD before a show to, quote, "[see] what would happen." (!!!) He later adds that he was JOKING . . . but that's still a pretty wild comment.
(--You can read more from the interview . . . including Justin talking about how NUTS he is . . . at this link . . .)

Gerry Rafferty Has Died:

Singer GERRY RAFFERTY died yesterday . . . after losing a battle with "an undisclosed illness." He was 63. A cause of death hasn't officially been revealed, but that illness probably had to do with his liver -Gerry had reportedly been sick since November when he was hospitalized with liver failure. (--He had his struggles with alcoholism . . . particularly in the '80s.) --Gerry is best known for his '70s hits "Baker Street", "Right Down the Line" and "Stuck in the Middle", which he recorded with the band STEALERS WHEEL. --He was a member of the mid-'60s folk group THE HUMBLEBUMS, which also featured Scottish comedian BILLY CONNOLLY. --"Stuck in the Middle" experienced a rebirth in the '90s, after QUENTIN TARANTINO used it in "Reservoir Dogs". --Gerry released nine solo albums.

Tone-Loc Blames a DUI Arrest on a Seizure:

TONE-LOC was arrested for DUI last month . . . but now he says it's all a big misunderstanding, because he DOESN'T DRINK. Instead he blames his erratic driving on a SEIZURE. --He was arrested around 3:00 A.M on December 13th after officers witnessed him swerving all over the place. He was booked for DUI, and released on $5,000 bail. --Tone-Loc's manager says the cops "realized his medical situation" and that's why they released him. He went to the hospital after being released, and thinks that the seizure may have been caused by, quote, "bad food he had earlier that day." --Supposedly, Tone hasn't drank alcohol in years, but DOES have a history with seizures. (--He should get that checked out. Regular seizures caused by "bad food" are not normal. And until they figure it out, maybe he shouldn't drive.)

Carrie Underwood's Song "Undo It" Has Become a Theme Song for House Republicans Looking to Repeal the So-Called ObamaCare:

Congressional Republicans are using CARRIE UNDERWOOD'S song "Undo It" as a sort of rallying cry . . . or theme song, if you will . . . in their attempt to "undo" legislation that was passed during the Democratically controlled Congress. --According to the "New York Times", "Undo It" is a "refrain for the (Republicans') planned attack against legislation that grew out of the 111th Congress, when the Democrats were at the helm in both chambers." --Carrie hasn't commented on this and I doubt she will. She's said publicly that celebrities should keep their political opinions to themselves. (--The 112th Congress convenes today in Washington D.C. with Republicans as the majority in the House of Representatives . . . and Democrats holding the majority in the Senate.)

HUGH HEFNER is debunking some allegations that were made five years ago in a book by a disgruntled ex-Playmate (slash) girlfriend. Although one thing she said . . . that Hugh refuses to wear condoms . . . appears to be TRUE.

In the end credits for "True Grit", a guy named Buster Coen is listed as MATT DAMON'S "abs double". Turns out Buster is the 15-year-old son of co-director Ethan Coen, and it's kind of a joke.

CHRISTOPHER KNIGHT . . . a.k.a. Peter from "The Brady Bunch" . . . is being sued for allegedly beating down his former accountant.

VICTORIA BECKHAM admits that she had her breast implants removed.

Yesterday . . . just one day after stepping down as governor of California . . . ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER got a parking ticket.

ALEC BALDWIN says he's, quote, "very, very interested" in running for office.

GEORGE CLOONEY will star in a movie about an Italian serial killer.

A federal court has ruled that the FCC can NOT fine ABC and its affiliates for a 2003 episode of "NYPD Blue", in which a woman's naked backside was shown for less than seven seconds. The FCC hasn't decided whether or not to appeal.

The FOO FIGHTERS have finished their next album. DAVE GROHL says, quote, "There's not one sleepy ballad. We did it without any computers and it just sounds massive." It should be out this spring, but there's no title or release date yet.

ROGER DALTREY had "pre-cancerous" growths surgically removed from his vocal chord just one month before THE WHO performed at the Super Bowl last year.

The NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK / BACKSTREET BOYS tour has been extended again. 16 more dates have been added . . . bringing the total number of shows up to 41. The new dates stretch from July 10th through July 30th.

BLINK-182 drummer TRAVIS BARKER will put out his first SOLO disc on February 22nd. It's called "Give the Drummer Some", and it'll be set up like SLASH'S album . . . in that it'll feature a bunch of guest vocalists.


One Out of Three Women Has Gone Into Her Man's Closet and Thrown Away Some of His Clothes Without Telling Him:

We've finally figured out what happened to that raggedy, old lucky t-shirt you'd kept since ninth grade, and your favorite pair of Zubaz pants. --According to a new survey by Kelton Research, 32% of women . . . or one out of three . . . admit that they've secretly gone into their husband or boyfriend's closet and thrown away some of his clothing.

--Here are some other findings from the survey . . .

--Only 12% of men grade themselves an "A" when it comes to fashion sense.

--77% of men say their current wardrobe needs a makeover.

--91% of women say that dressing well makes a man look more attractive than he actually is.

--85% of women say a man who dresses well is sexier than a man who has a lot of money.

--And while 32% of women have secretly thrown away some of their man's clothing because they didn't like it . . . they're not the only ones. 8% of men say they've thrown away a piece of their woman's clothing. (PR Newswire)

Nine Out of Ten Americans Think They're At Least "Somewhat" Healthy Eaters. Most of Them Are Not:

This might be a pretty good hint why Americans keep getting chubbier and chubbier . . . you know, other than because it's the most DELICIOUS and SEXY way to live our lives. --According to a nationwide survey by "Consumer Reports", a full 90% of Americans, or nine out of ten of us, think that our diet is at least, quote, "somewhat healthy." --We're wrong. --For example . . . the survey found that 43% of Americans drink at least one full-calorie, full-sugar soda, coffee, or tea every day. 26% of people who are dieting say they have one of those every day. --42% of people don't eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables every day . . . and even the people who do don't always eat healthy vegetables. For example, 61% of people eat potatoes at least once a week. --And 22% of people said that they don't eat breakfast every day. --36% of the people who took the survey were overweight, and 21% were obese. About 33% of the people who said they had a healthy weight were actually in the overweight category. (Los Angeles Times)

Karaoke Prevents Heart Attacks?

If the thought of getting up on stage and performing karaoke makes you feel like you're going to have a heart attack . . . maybe it's time to face your demons and just do it. Because apparently, there's no place for heart attacks in karaoke (--Although there IS a place for songs by "Heart". "Barracuda"? "Alone"? "All I Wanna Do Is Make Love To You"? COME ON!) --According to a new study, doctors found that occasionally performing karaoke can improve your heart health and your stress levels. They found it eases tension and makes people feel happy and comfortable socially. --NOW . . . keep in mind, this was a Japanese study, so you KNOW they wanted it to turn out pro-karaoke. --But still . . . they studied almost 20,000 people and the results were statistically significant . . . so it's probably worth listening to. (The Telegraph)

Word of the Day: Ecdysiast:

ecdysiast (noun) /eck diz ee ist/ - a formal term for a stripper or exotic dancer.

--Example: "The ladies here who strip to 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' are strippers. The one who got naked to that opera song . . . yeah, she's an ecdysiast."

Hundreds Of People Might Have Gotten Hepatitis From Tainted Communion Wafers on Christmas:

See, THIS is why you should make Christmas about Santa, overeating, and being materialistic . . . not Christianity, prayer, and church. --The Nassau County Department of Health on Long Island, New York just issued a warning to the parishioners of Our Lady of Lourdes Church in Massapequa Park, New York . . . because they're at risk of having contracted HEPATITIS A. --How? They all might've eaten HEPATITIS-TAINTED COMMUNION WAFERS on Christmas. --At two of the church's Christmas Masses . . . the ones at 10:30 A.M. and noon . . . one of the priests giving communion had Hepatitis A, and it's believed he could've transmitted it to the wafers. About 1,300 people attended those services. --Fortunately, Hep A is one of the more mild forms of hepatitis. It's not permanent, it's rarely fatal, there's a vaccine, and some people don't even show symptoms. --If you do have symptoms, they seem like the same symptoms of someone who needs an exorcism . . . fever, nausea, and your skin turning a little yellow. --The Nassau County Department of Health is offering the vaccine for free to everyone who was at one of the two services. (CNN)

A Couple Was Arrested For Ditching On Their Strip Club Bill . . . After Four Hours of Lap Dances and a "Roman Orgy" Dinner:

This might be the first time anyone's tried to dine-and-dash after eating a dinner called the "Roman Orgy." --But that's what they serve at The Men's Club of Dallas, which is a strip club near the airport. And Monday night, a couple had the night of their lives there . . . and then tried to skip out on the bill. --43-year-old Micah Boswell and 39-year-old Elizabeth Stewardson went to The Men's Club and ran up the following tab:
--$1,460 for four bottles of champagne.
--$3,600 for four hours worth of lap dances.
--$25 worth of water.
--An $11 dinner called the "Breast of Fire" and a $14 dinner called the "Roman Orgy". --After tip, they owed more than $5,100. When the club ran their credit cards, they were rejected for insufficient funds. --So, when no one was watching, they tried to RUN. The police quickly tracked them down and arrested them for felony theft of service. --And if you're curious, the Breasts of Fire are spicy chicken wings and the Roman Orgy is an appetizer sampler featuring beef tenderloin, chicken tenders, shrimp, and more. (Dallas Morning News)

Lawmakers In South Carolina Have Proposed License Plates That Say "Coon Hunters":

Sometimes it feels like the South goes out of its way to remind us that it's still the South. --Legislators in the South Carolina state House of Representatives have introduced a bill that would allow the DMV to start selling a new specialty license plate . . . that reads "COON HUNTERS." --As those of us outside of the South Carolina legislature know, "coon" is a well-known racial slur against black people. --But according to them, in South Carolina . . . which, by the way, was the first state to secede back in the Civil War era . . . coon hunting refers ONLY to their proud tradition of raccoon hunting, and no one there associates it with racism. --If the bill passes, the "coon hunters" plate would be a specialty plate that people can pay extra for. The money generated by coon hunter license plate sales would go toward the South Carolina State Coon Hunters Association Youth Fund. --There's no word on when they'll vote on it. (Columbia Free Times)

A Court Rules That Cops Can Legally Search Your Crack for Crack:

Just know, there is officially NO PLACE on, in, or around your body where it's safe to hide your CRACK --Last February, 22-year-old Felix Booker of Oak Ridge, Tennessee, was caught with crack cocaine jammed deep inside of his NO-GO HOLE. The police searched him and found it. --His lawyer tried to get it thrown out as evidence, saying the cops found it with an unreasonable search because they didn't have a warrant. That's right: A RECTAL WARRANT. A judge disagreed. --Back in February, Felix was pulled over during a traffic stop. The officer was suspicious, so he patted Felix down. During the pat down, he noticed that Felix was, quote, "clenching his butt together." --He searched a little . . . um . . . more carefully and found a bag of reefer hidden in Felix's TAINT. So Felix was arrested, and taken to jail. --Once they got there, Felix was fidgeting and kept trying to put his hand down the back of his pants. That led jail officials to do a strip search . . . and that's when they noticed a small string dangling out of Felix's back passage. --They sent Felix to a hospital, a doctor fished out the string . . . and the crack cocaine connected to it. --Judge H. Bruce Guyton ruled that, because of probable cause, quote, "warrantless retrieval of the crack cocaine from the defendant's rectum was lawful." Felix's trial will start on February 1st. (Oak Ridger)

A Woman Lends Her Friend Her Car To Get Groceries . . . And He Immediately Drives Off and Sells the Car for Crack:

And THIS, my friends, is why you should never, ever lend your car to a drug addict. ESPECIALLY if their drug of choice is sweet, delicious crack. --On Saturday, a woman from Milford Township, Pennsylvania . . . whose name wasn't released . . . lent her car to her friend, 33-year-old Branden Schwager of Quakertown, Pennsylvania. --He'd asked to borrow the car so he could drive to the farmer's market and get some groceries. --BUT . . . as soon as he got behind the wheel, instead of driving to the farmer's market, he promptly drove to Allentown, Pennsylvania . . . so he could trade the car for some CRACK. --Apparently, he was successful. --Because when the woman couldn't get in touch with him by Saturday night, she called the cops to report it missing. And they found it . . . after five random people crashed it into six parked cars, a utility pole, and a house. --The police rounded up the five people and arrested them. Branden was charged with theft and unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. (Allentown Morning Call)


A 14-year-old kid survived ten hours in subzero weather after getting separated from his family on a ski trip . . . by using lessons he learned watching "Man vs. Wild" and "Survivor Man":

The creator of Jelly Belly jelly beans has made an anatomically correct gummy heart that weighs 2-and-a-half pounds, and oozes 'gummy blood' in 11 spots. He's also made a gummy foot with a gangrenous toe, candy barf, and a gummy bleeding nose:

A cow attacked and critically injured and elderly man in Florida, and his wife had to hit it several times with a truck and shoot it in the face to save him:

Police stopped a driver for weaving into another lane, broke his window, dragged him out of the car, and Tased him seven times . . . then realized he was in diabetic shock:

Photo of the Day: A Politician in the Philippines was assassinated while taking a photo of his family . . . and the picture he took shows the murderer firing a gun at him:


#1.) A KFC Employee Completely Lost It When a Customer Wouldn't Stop Recording Him:

There's a new video on YouTube of an employee at a KFC in Australia absolutely LOSING it when a customer refuses to stop recording him. He starts dropping F-bombs, then knocks over a cash register before being led away by his boss.
(--Search for "KFC worker loses it." WARNING: This video includes the B-word and half-a-dozen F-bombs.)

#2.) A Dancer Face Planted on Paula Abdul's New Dance Show . . . And Immediately Had a Massive Bump on Her Forehead:

PAULA ABDUL'S new show "Live To Dance" premiered on CBS last night, and one of the female contestants FACE PLANTED in the middle of her routine. --As soon as she got up, there was huge black-and-blue bump on her forehead, and she tried to pretend she was fine . . . but she obviously wasn't. So they took her back stage to see a doctor. (--Search for "Live To Dance face plant.")

#3.) A Drunk Guy in an Ambulance Kept Hitting His Head . . . While the Paramedics Laughed:

You better hope you never get picked up by this ambulance. There's a video online of a drunk guy in an ambulance who keeps nodding forward and hitting his head . . . while the paramedics just stand there cracking up. (--Search for "drunk man in the ambulance.")

#4.) There's a Homeless Guy in Ohio Who Has a Perfect Radio Voice:

There's a homeless guy in Columbus, Ohio named Ted Williams, and he makes money panhandling by showing off his perfect radio voice. There's a video of him online, and it's definitely weird to hear such a great voice come out of a guy who looks so rough. --But it's not quite as random as it sounds. He went to school to develop his vocal talents, but ended up on the streets because of drugs and alcohol. (--Search for "homeless man with golden radio voice.")

#5.) Here's James Van Der Beek Making Fun of His Bad Acting Skills:

On the season two finale of "Dawson's Creek" ten years ago, JAMES VAN DER BEEK had a crying scene that was so badly acted, a five-second clip of it became a hit on the Internet. --But apparently he has a sense of humor about the whole thing, because he makes fun of it in a new video on FunnyOrDie. --To go with the infamous crying clip, Van Der Beek did five-second close-ups of other over-the-top expressions, including "Awkward", "Nausea", and "Super Sad Sobbing". And there's a website where you can see them all, called
(--Search for "James Van Der Beek" WARNING: This video shows Van Der Beek flipping the bird.)

Do the Colors You Wear to Work Affect Your Career?

As if you didn't have enough to worry about in this lousy economy, some experts say the colors you wear to work can affect how you're perceived. As in, wearing a black suit every day might make you seem unimaginative, depressed, or lazy.

--So here are ten colors and how they affect the people you work with . . .

#1.) Blue. Studies have shown that wearing a navy blue suit to an interview gives you the best chance of landing the job.

--But even if you don't have to wear a suit to work, you should STILL wear blue around the office, because people associate it with loyalty. That's why so many companies . . . like Facebook and IBM . . . use the color blue in their logos.

#2.) Yellow. Just seeing the color yellow can cheer people up. So when you wear it, you're perceived as having a sunny personality . . . even if you don't.

--Just stay away from dark yellows because they make most people's skin look weird and unhealthy.

#3.) Red. Wearing red shows that you're not afraid to stand out, which is also why you have to wear it in low doses.

--If you wear red all the time, you'll stand out TOO much, and people might start to feel like you're not a team player. And anything that's red AND tight is probably too sexy for the office.

#4.) Beige. It's like the opposite of red because it makes you blend in and go unnoticed. So if you're trying to fly under the radar at work, beige is a good choice.

--The only time it DOESN'T blend in is when guys wear beige SUITS . . . because NO ONE wears beige suits. So wearing one makes you stand out just as much as if you wore an all JEAN suit.

#5.) White. It's okay as long as you don't wear ALL white. An all-white outfit makes you look like you're in a uniform. So unless you're a painter, a nurse, or a chef, don't wear all white to work.

#6.) Pink. If you're a woman, wearing a pink shirt under a dark suit makes you seem more approachable. If you're a man, wearing a pale pink or salmon-colored shirt makes you look confident . . . because you're secure enough to pull it off.

#7.) Green. Dark greens are associated with power, class, and strength. And bright greens make you look sporty, casual, and cheerful.

#8.) Purple. People associate it with royalty. So wearing dark purple makes you seem more powerful.

#9.) Orange. Light orange is okay, and it blends well with other colors. But too much BRIGHT orange makes you look tacky.

#10.) Brown. It's a good substitute for black, but only if you accent it with another color. And brown clothes that are too baggy can make you look frumpy. (


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