Tuesday, February 1, 2011



Charlie Sheen is Doing His Rehab At Home:

CHARLIE SHEEN did NOT check himself into rehab after all. He's doing his rehabbing AT HOME, with addiction specialists and a sobriety coach. (--DENISE RICHARDS has also been seen entering and leaving Charlie's gated community several times in the last few days.) --There's no word how long it'll take, or how long it might delay production of "Two and a Half Men". Two episodes already shot will air next Monday and the Monday after. Next week's episode is titled "Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak". --Meanwhile, CBS has asked two of its other sitcoms, "Mike & Molly" and "Rules of Engagement", to produce two extra episodes each, to fill whatever gaps Charlie's absence might cause in the schedule. --Sources say that leaves a lot of people who work on the show worried that they won't be getting paychecks for a while. -When production was halted last February for a Charlie Sheen rehab stint, employees were PARTIALLY compensated. But nobody knows what'll happen this time around. --Meanwhile . . . if "Two and a Half Men" were to shut down permanently, it could mean serious losses for Warner Brothers and CBS. --Warner Brothers . . . which produces the show . . . could lose up to $250 MILLION from syndication deals that were supposed to include next season . . . which would be the show's NINTH. --And CBS would lose serious ad revenue. Last season alone, the show generated $155 million from advertising.

Charlie Sheen Wanted Kacey Jordan to Babysit His Kids:

Mattress actress KACEY JORDAN was on "Good Morning America" yesterday, talking about the so-called "porn family" that CHARLIE SHEEN wanted to set up in a rented mansion in his neighborhood. --Kacey said Charlie just wanted to retire and spend his time partying with her and any other porno minxes he could convince to live there. --She said, quote, "He's like, 'You can have anything you want. Anything you want, you name it, and it'll be done within an hour. And we're just gonna party and have fun.'" --Kacey also said that Charlie asked her to act as BABYSITTER to his kids . . . quote, "I think maybe the babysitting part was important to him so that maybe, you know, doing his drinking, you know, that maybe he didn't have his kids see him be like that." --But that request may have been a deal breaker for Kacey. She said, quote, "The kids was what bothered me." --By the way . . . DENISE RICHARDS obviously saw the show yesterday morning. Because after it was over, she Tweeted, quote, "If you caught GMA today..FYI.. No 'adult film star' will be babysitting our kids!"

Kelsey Grammer Was Too Busy Watching Fox News to Cuddle With Camille:

Fox News has been blamed for a lot of things . . . but the end of KELSEY GRAMMER'S marriage? Yeah, that too. Sort of. --Yesterday on "The Joy Behar Show", CAMILLE GRAMMER said she and Kelsey hadn't had sex in over TWO YEARS. --When Joy replied that cuddling is nice, too, Camille revealed that Kelsey wouldn't cuddle, either . . . because he was, quote, "too busy watching Fox News." (--Here's video.) (--Earlier in the day, Camille was grilled by Joy and the rest of the yentas on "The View".)

Eva Longoria Is Officially Divorced:

Not that this has any effect on us, but EVA LONGORIA and TONY PARKER are both back on the market. Their divorce became final on Friday.

Attica! Why Was Corey Haim Left Out of the Death Montage at the "Screen Actors Guild Awards"?

If you watched the "Screen Actors Guild Awards" on Sunday night, then you noticed that COREY HAIM was not included in the montage of actors and actresses who died in 2010. --And COREY FELDMAN will NOT LET THAT STAND. --Corey issued a statement putting Hollywood on blast for their constant IGNORING OF THE COREYS . . . and hoping that the Oscars won't do the same. --He said, quote, "We have become used to not being honored by our peers in the industry. I have faith that the Academy will make a wiser choice." --For the record, the Screen Actors Guild says it made TWO versions of the death montage . . . one shorter than the other. Corey Haim was in the longer one . . . but they had to use the shorter one because the show was running long. --They added, quote, "The Committee only wishes they had time to salute everyone."
Halle Berry Is Fighting Her Baby-Daddy In Court . . . Because She's Afraid for Her Daughter's Well-Being When She's With Him:

HALLE BERRY is devoting all her energy to a coming court battle with her baby-daddy, GABRIEL AUBRY. --She even dropped out of the upcoming romantic comedy "New Year's Eve" . . . which is the sort-of sequel to "Valentine's Day". (--KATHERINE HEIGL has taken her role, which includes getting to kiss JON BON JOVI.) --Gabriel recently went to court to be legally declared the father of 2-year-old Nahla . . . and he asked for joint custody. --That's something Halle doesn't want to give him . . . because she fears for Nahla's safety when she's with him. --Her rep says, quote, "Halle has serious concerns for her daughter's well-being while in the care of her father for any extended period of time and is prepared to take all necessary steps to protect her." --He added, quote, "She has attempted to resolve these custody issues amicably with [Gabriel] directly, but given his lack of cooperation, Halle has no choice but to seek swift judicial intervention." (--There's no word what Halle's specific concerns are.)

Are the Producers of Miley Cyrus' Upcoming Movie Trying to Digitally Alter a Scene Where She Smokes Pot?

"Us Weekly" says the producers of MILEY CYRUS' new movie, "LOL", are trying to digitally alter a scene where she smokes pot with another character. --In this particular scene, Miley tokes with a male character. --But because of that video that hit the web last year in which Miley takes a bong hit of the hallucinogenic herb salvia, the producers are worried that it'll cause a controversy that'll swallow up the movie. --A so-called "source" says, quote, "The scene can't be re-shot. [So they're using] tricky editing and effects magic, they are erasing all traces of her inhaling or being in the same shot with the actor." --That includes using computer technology to erase Miley's entire arm out of at least one shot.

Stephen King's "The Stand" Is Coming to the Big Screen:

STEPHEN KING'S post-apocalyptic novel "The Stand" is heading to the big screen. --It's a pretty long, sprawling story . . . so one 90-minute movie probably can't do it justice. Right now, the suits are trying to figure out whether to make several movies or one long one.--The book was originally published in 1978. King re-released it in 1990 with several additions and revisions. In 1994, ABC made it into a six-hour miniseries. --"The Stand" is a good vs. evil-type story, taking place after a virus wipes out most of the American population. In the end, it comes down to a group of survivors fighting an Antichrist-like figure named Randall Flagg.

Tyler Perry Will Take Over the Alex Cross Character from Morgan Freeman:

TYLER PERRY will play detective (slash) psychologist Alex Cross in a new movie based on the work of author JAMES PATTERSON. --He's been played by MORGAN FREEMAN twice . . . in "Kiss the Girls" and "Along Came a Spider". Both were based on Patterson novels of the same name. (--Patterson has written 17 Alex Cross books. The 18th is coming out this year. There's no word if this movie will be based on one of them, or if it'll be an original story. For the record, Tyler Perry is NOT writing the script.)

The "Glee" Cast's "Thriller" / Yeah Yeah Yeahs Mash-Up Has Leaked:

The "Glee" cast will perform a mash-up of MICHAEL JACKSON'S "Thriller" and a YEAH YEAH YEAHS song called "Heads Will Roll" on Sunday's post-Super Bowl episode. And you can get a taste of it now, because the audio has leaked online. (--Check it out, here.) --According to Billboard.com, the episode will also feature new "Glee" versions of Katy Perry's "California Gurls", Lady Antebellum's "Need You Now" and "Bills, Bills, Bills" by Destiny's Child. --By the way, Britain's not-so-reliable "News of the World" tabloid reported that MADONNA was thinking about touring with the cast of "Glee" . . . but Madonna's rep says that's NOT true.

Derek Hough Is Leaving "Dancing with the Stars" . . . Temporarily:

"Dancing with the Stars" is losing another HOUGH! (--And that means the competition will be completely Hough-less for the first time since Season Three.) --DEREK HOUGH is taking Season 12 off to film a dance movie called "Cobu 3-D". His co-star will be BOA, a female Korean pop music sensation. (--You can get a taste for her dance skills in the music video for her song "Eat You Up".) --But Derek tells "People" magazine that he won't be gone long . . . quote, "I will be making it back to 'Dancing with the Stars' in the fall. I'm just taking a little break and taking this chance to grow and expand a little bit as an artist. --"It's like I told one of the producers on the show . . . I'll come back with a whole new set of skills." (--"Dancing with the Stars" will return, Hough-less, in March.) (--Derek's sister, JULIANNE HOUGH, left "Dancing with the Stars" after Season Eight to devote more time to her country music career. Although it seems like she's now devoting most of her time to her boyfriend, RYAN SEACREST.)

Is Katie Couric Secretly Plotting to Replace Oprah Winfrey In Daytime?

Is KATIE COURIC secretly planning to leave the "CBS Evening News" to launch a daytime talk show that would replace "Oprah"? Maybe. --A "source" tells PopEater.com, quote, "Katie is going to bolt CBS News when her contract expires and start a new chapter of her TV life . . . the only person who could hope to fill [Oprah's] shoes is Katie Couric."

Rappers In Commercials:

#1.) The "New York Post" says EMINEM is doing one of those Claymation commercials for Lipton Brisk iced tea. It'll premiere during the Super Bowl on Sunday. The ad supposedly showcases "a day in the life of Eminem." (--If you haven't seen one of these ads yet, you can watch the one OZZY OSBOURNE did, here.)

#2.) KANYE WEST has filmed a commercial with KOBE BRYANT for Kobe's Nike shoes. It'll premiere during the programming for the NBA's All-Star Weekend, which runs from February 18th through the 20th. --"Machete" director ROBERT RODRIGUEZ directed the spot, which also stars "Machete's" DANNY TREJO and BRUCE WILLIS. (--Watch a preview of the ad, here.)

Tuesday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"Seriously Funny Kids" [SERIES Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Lifetime. (--Heidi Klum hosts her own version of "Kids Say the Darndest Things".)

--"Hellcats" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on the CW. (--3Oh!3 has a cameo as the musical guests when the Hellcats raise funds for sectionals with a calendar party.)

--"Million Dollar Money Drop" [1st Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"Auction Kings" [1st Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Discovery.


--"Night Catches Us" - Anthony Mackie plays a former Black Panther who returns to his old neighborhood to bury his dad, where he's confronted by hostile suspicions that he was the snitch who got another Black Panther killed. Kerry Washington plays his love interest.

--"Conviction" - Hilary Swank plays an uneducated woman who dedicates her entire life to overturning her brother's murder conviction. Even if it means putting herself through law school. Minnie Driver plays her best friend and Sam Rockwell plays her brother.

--"Chain Letter" - A horror film starring "Twilight" minx Nikki Reed, as a high school student who gets a chain letter saying that if she and her friends don't pass it on, someone will die. The rest of the cast includes "Chucky" star Brad Dourif and Betsy Russell from the "Saw" movies.

--"Never Let Me Go" - A somewhat depressing drama starring Keira Knightley, Carey Mulligan, and Andrew "Spider-Man" Garfield as three friends who, throughout the course of the film, gradually discover that they're clones who've been created to serve as organ transplant donors.

--"Let Me In" - A horror flick about a boy who becomes best friends with the new girl next door, before figuring out she's a vampire. The boy is Kodi Smit-McPhee, who played Viggo Mortensen's son in "The Road". And the vampire is Chloe Moretz, who you'd know as Hit Girl in "Kick Ass".

--"Welcome to the Rileys" - Kristen Stewart from "Twilight" plays a runaway working as a stripper, and James Gandolfini is a grieving father who befriends her . . . because she reminds him of the daughter he lost in a car crash.

--"Monsters" - Aliens hitch a ride to Earth on a NASA space probe, most of Mexico is quarantined after the probe crashes, and two Americans have to make a run for the border through the infected zone.

--"The Tillman Story" - A documentary about the cover up of the truth behind Pat Tillman's death. Tillman gave up his NFL career to join the Army Rangers shortly after September 11th . . . and died in Afghanistan by friendly fire, even though the military claimed it was enemy fire.

--"Hatchet II" - A slasher flick starring Kane Hodder as deformed hatchet killer Victor Crowley, and Danielle Harris as a chick determined to get revenge for her family's death.

--True horror fans know Danielle as Laurie Strode's daughter in the fourth and fifth "Halloween" movies, AND as Laurie's friend Annie in the Rob Zombie remakes. And Kane Hodder is Jason from the 7th through the 10th "Friday the 13th" movies.

--"Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" - The sequel to "Beverly Hills Chihuahua", only with puppies added. It stars George Lopez and Odette Yustman.

TV Series On DVD:

--"Airwolf: Season Four" . . . a five-disc DVD set of the show's final season.


--"Musica + Alma + Sexo", Ricky Martin (--Guests include: Joss Stone, on the single "The Best Thing About Me Is You" . . . and Puerto Rican reggaeton duo Wisin & Yandel.)

--"Best Of . . . The Great American Songbook", Rod Stewart (--The best of the "Great American Songbook" albums Rod release in the 2000s.)

--"Live Forever", Bob Marley and the Wailers [LIVE] (--This album was recorded in Pittsburgh on September 23rd, 1980 . . . Bob Marley's last recorded concert.) (--Marley died, at the age of 36, on May 11th, 1981 . . . so this year will mark the 30th anniversary of his death.


New Downloadable Content for "Black Ops" and "Rock Band" Is Out Today:

--First Strike Map Pack for "Call of Duty: Black Ops" . . . on Xbox360. Four new multiplayer maps, plus one new zombie level that includes ZOMBIE MONKEYS. Here are some of the cooler features from the new multi-player maps . . .

• The Berlin map has auto-turrets that kill anyone who approaches the Berlin wall.
• Kowloon adds a zipline to let you cross the map faster at the risk of being exposed.
• An arctic map has a snow bridge that can be destroyed while players are crossing it.

Microsoft has an exclusive contract for early "Black Ops" content, so the maps are only out on Xbox360 today. PS3, Wii and PC users have to wait until March 1st to get it.

Check out the trailer here and listen to the developers discuss the maps here.

--Country Track Pack 2 for "Rock Band" . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and Wii. This downloadable content includes Lady Antebellum, Sugarland, Laura Bell Bundy, Johnny Cash, Keith Urban, Rascal Flatts and lesbian country singer Chely Wright.

You'll find the list of all 21 songs in the track pack here.

--"Bionic Commando Rearmed 2" . . . Xbox360 and PS3. (M) In this downloadable sequel, you can finally swing from your bionic arm. It also has a co-op mode so you can get help from a friend on the more challenging bosses at the end of each level.

The first "Bionic Commando Rearmed" was a remake of the classic Nintendo game, "Bionic Commando". You can check out the trailer for "Rearmed 2" here.

--"Ultimate Battle of the Sexes" . . . only on Wii. (T) A collection of 25 mini-games that pits men against women in tasks like dancing, driving, cleaning, multi-tasking, shopping, and even shaving your legs. Check out the trailer here.
ESRB Game Ratings: (E) for Everyone; (T) for Teen; (M) for Mature (18+)


Justin Bieber Defuses Some Justin Bieber Panic:

JUSTIN BIEBER is surrounded by what we're calling "Justin Bieber Panic" at all times. But that's normal . . . it's the nature of "Bieber Fever". --You just can't have millions of girls . . . and women, as creepy as that is . . . going DOG NUTS over you, while staying within a calm, freak-free environment. --But yesterday, Justin did some early spring-cleaning . . . and defused today's most rampant panic. Here's the rundown. (--Justin's comments were made on yesterday's "Today" show and RYAN SEACREST'S radio show.)

--Panic #1: That Puberty Will Destroy Justin's Angelic, Irresistible Voice.

--Justin said, quote, "No, I mean, my voice is definitely changing gradually. It's definitely lower than it was the last time I was [here], right? --"I think that everybody's voice changes, and it's just how you go through it . . . I have a great vocal coach that's helping me."

--Panic #2: That Justin Bieber Will Suddenly Chop Off His Beautiful Hair.

--Justin said, quote, "No . . . actually, I'm just messing it up a lot. Before, usually, I had it flat, just regular shake, but I'm just messing it up right now . . . I'm not shaving it."

--Panic #3: That Justin Bieber's Loss of a Precious Childhood Will Crush His Youthful Spirit. OK, I'll admit, I just started that panic.

--Justin said, quote, "It's hard because I'm away from my friends, I'm away from my family . . . I miss being able to just go home and relax, and be with my family and just not do anything for a while. --"You only live once . . . [but] I'm not going to regret anything . . . I love what I do, I love being able to put smiles on people's faces."

--Panic #4: That Justin Bieber Has Been Taken By SELENA GOMEZ . . . Thus, Making One Less Lonely Girl, and Ruining the Lives of Every Other Girl. --Justin said, quote, "She's one of my best friends." (--You can watch Justin's "Today" show interview, here.)

Justin Bieber Has a Special Valentine's Gift for You!

If you thought that your special Valentine's Day gift from JUSTIN BIEBER was the release of his 3-D movie, "Never Say Never" . . . you've got another thing comin'! --Seriously. You do. --In addition to the movie, which crashes into theaters February 11th, Justin has announced that he'll be releasing an album of REMIXES on Valentine's Day. --It's called "Never Say Never: The Remixes", and it'll have seven tracks. --They'll include: Justin's previously released "Karate Kid" song "Never Say Never" with JADEN SMITH . . . plus collaborations with Rascal Flatts, Usher, Chris Brown and Kanye West. It'll also feature a new song called "Born to Be Somebody". (--There's still no word on when Justin's next album of new stuff will be out.)

Ozzy Osbourne Has Canceled a Show Because of a "Sudden Illness":

OZZY OSBOURNE postponed a concert that was supposed to happen this past Sunday night in Reno, Nevada. It's been rescheduled for April 23rd. --According to his website, Ozzy came down with a quote, "sudden illness," and canceled the show "on advice from doctors." --There isn't any additional information on what's wrong with him . . . but Ozzy claims he'll be able to make tonight's show in Los Angeles. Yesterday, he posted an update on Twitter saying that he's, quote, "feeling much better." (--Ozzy is 62 years old.)

Kings of Leon Has Postponed Some Tour Dates to Allow Nathan Followill to Recover from Surgery:

KINGS OF LEON is postponing a series of overseas shows that were scheduled for March in Australia and South Africa. They've been moved to November. --They're doing this to give drummer NATHAN FOLLOWILL time to "recover from surgery for a torn right labrum and bicep." On Twitter, Nathan said, quote, "Sorry . . . my bum wing needs more time to heal, but we'll be back later this year." --Kings of Leon's next scheduled shows are in Europe this May.

Megadeth, Godsmack and Disturbed Will Headline This Year's Mayhem Festival:

There may not be a "Big Four" metal tour this summer, but MEGADETH won't be sitting around at home. --They're one of the headliners for this year's Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem Festival. --The other two are GODSMACK and DISTURBED . . . and the bill also features Machine Head, In FLames and Trivium, among others. --The tour includes 26 dates, beginning July 9th in San Bernardino, California. --For all the details, hit up RockstarMayhemFest.com.

Hey President Obama, Diddy Wants You to "Do Better":

DIDDY is on the cover of the current issue of "The Source" magazine, and in the corresponding interview, he puts PRESIDENT OBAMA on blast. --Diddy wants President Obama to, quote, "do better" . . . specifically in matters involving the black community. -He says, quote, "I love the president like most of us. I just want the president to do better. There's a difference between us voting for somebody and us believing in somebody. --"He's the person that we believed in . . . so I pray night and day that he understands how God ordained his presidency. I feel there was a promise made to God to look after people that was less fortunate, and [many] of those people are African-American." --Diddy also challenges Obama to do the things that he thinks are right . . . even if it isn't politically safe. --He says, quote, "It's something he might not get reelected for, but we elected him. --"He owes us. I'd rather have a black president that was man enough to say that he was doing something for black people have one term, than a president who played the politics game have two terms."


SCARLETT JOHANSSON and RYAN REYNOLDS went to dinner together the other night. But that doesn't necessarily mean they're getting back together. (Full Story)

"Glee" star LEA MICHELLE and "True Grit" actress HAILEE STEINFELD made their peace at the "Screen Actors Guild Awards". (Full Story)

RACHEL UCHITEL . . . TIGER WOODS' #1 ho . . . is getting a tryout as a guest co-host for radio legend MANCOW. (Full Story)

ALAN TUDYK . . . who played Steve the Pirate in "Dodgeball" and Wash on the sci-fi TV series "Firefly" . . . was arrested for DUI. (Full Story)

Four days after his heart surgery, BRET MICHAELS suffered a massive drop in blood pressure. It was probably related to his diabetes, and he's okay now. (Full Story)

During Fashion Week in Brazil, ASHTON KUTCHER and DEMI MOORE were booed for 90 seconds by photographers who were made to wait THREE HOURS for a photo op with them. (Full Story)

Spike TV is developing a reality game show called "Repo Games". Here's how it'll work: Two real life repo men will give real life debtors a chance to save their cars . . . by successfully answering trivia questions. (???) (Full Story)

Former "CSI" star WILLIAM PETERSEN . . . a.k.a. Gil Grissom . . . will be back to make a cameo appearance in an upcoming episode. There's no airdate yet, but there's talk that it might be this Thursday's episode. (Full Story)

This year's NFL Pro Bowl, which aired on Fox Sunday night, attracted its biggest ratings in 10 years. An estimated 12 million viewers tuned in. (Full Story)

VINCE NEIL will serve 15 days in prison later this month after pleading guilty to DUI. Vince has accepted that he's "made a mistake" . . . and says he's "already learned his lesson." (Full Story)

The U.S. premiere of the "Les Miserables 25th Anniversary Concert" . . . featuring NICK JONAS as Marius . . . will air on PBS on March 6th. (Full Story)

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE, T-PAIN and WILL.I.AM will all voice characters on the February 20th episode of "The Cleveland Show". (Full Story)


Super Bowl Myth Busting: Does the Super Bowl Lead To Domestic Violence, Avocado Shortages, Heart Attacks, and Sewage Problems?

There are a ton of myths that start circulating every year around Super Bowl time. It leads to heart attacks! It leads to domestic violence! It leads to people gorging on avocados! Here's your guide to what's true and what's B.S.

--Everyone flushing the toilet at halftime does not cause sewer problems. It's been at least a century since sewage systems could be overwhelmed by something like a halftime bathroom rush. We're in the clear.

--Domestic violence does not increase. This is an old myth that says the combination of drunkenness and disappointment leads to an increase in men attacking their wives. No statistics have EVER backed this up.

--We don't eat half of the country's avocado supply on Super Bowl Sunday. There's a popular rumor that Americans eat HALF of the avocados consumed in a year as part of their Super Bowl guacamole. It's not that high . . . but it is a solid 3% of the total.

--It might cause heart attacks. There's a new study that just came out . . . that hasn't been debunked yet . . . that says the Super Bowl MIGHT lead to more heart attacks. --The study analyzed heart attacks in L.A. from Super Bowl Sunday 1980, when the L.A. Rams lost . . . and from 1984, when the L.A. Raiders won. After the loss, there was a significant increase in heart attacks . . . after the win, there wasn't. (Skeptic Files / Parade / CNN)
The Country of Malawi Made It Illegal To Pass Gas In Public:

If for some ungodly reason you ever take a trip to the African country of Malawi . . . get ready to clench up those buttocks nice and good. Because their government just made it illegal to PASS GAS in public. --Seriously. They've decided to punish people who repeatedly, quote, "foul the air" because they want to, quote, "mould responsible and disciplined citizens." There's no word on what the punishment will be. -But locals are worried that the law is basically going to turn into the most high-stakes game of "he who smelt it, dealt it" EVER . . . with everyone blaming their emissions on someone else, to avoid being punished. (Daily Mail)

The McDonald's Hamburger University In China Is Harder To Get Into Than Harvard?

If you want your kid to go to an exclusive college, don't waste your time with Harvard, Yale or Stanford. Those are SAFETY SCHOOLS compared to the college we're talking about today. --And that school is . . . McDonald's Hamburger University in China. --McDonald's opened up the Hamburger U outside of Shanghai, and SO many people want in that they're only accepting the best EIGHT out of every 1,000 applicants. --That's an acceptance rate under one percent. In comparison, Harvard accepts about 7% of applicants . . . or about 875% more applicants than Hamburger U in Shanghai. (--Yale accepts 7.5%, Stanford is 7.6%.) --Students who get accepted to the McDonald's college in China learn how to manage a McDonald's restaurant. There are currently 1,300 McDonald's locations in China, and 1,000 more will be opening over the next four years. --The fight for spots at Hamburger University in China is intense because unemployment is even worse over there than it is over here. More than 26% of China's college graduates are unemployed. --When you graduate from Hamburger University, you're almost guaranteed a job right away. (Time) (--Interesting fact: While Harvard, Yale, and Stanford are the most selective schools in the U.S., the school that's the least selective is . . . West Virginia State University. They have an acceptance rate of 100%.)

An Immigration Officer Wanted To Get Rid of His Wife . . . So He Added Her To the Terrorist Watch List:

Now THIS is how you abuse your power. --A man in England, whose name wasn't released, was an immigration officer . . . and he wanted to end things with his wife. So he chose the most passive aggressive and incredibly illegal way possible. --While his wife was out of the country visiting family in Pakistan . . . he used his clearance to add her name to every possible TERRORIST WATCH LIST. That way, she'd never be allowed back into Britain and he'd be single and happy. --And it worked. She couldn't get back into the country. For THREE YEARS. --Finally, this year he was busted . . . when he was up for a promotion, his bosses were vetting him . . . and found out that his wife was a terrorist. They started putting the pieces together and figured out what he'd done. --Instead of being promoted, he was fired for gross misconduct. His wife was also taken off of the watch lists, so she was allowed back into the country. --There's no word on what happened when they reunited. (Daily Mail)

What Are the Odds of You and Your Spouse Having the Exact Same Birth Date . . . And the Exact Same Birth Time?

Ever wondered what the odds are that you'll end up married to someone who has the exact same birth date AND birth TIME as you? No? Well . . . uh . . . we have the answer for you anyway. --According to a statistics professor at the University of Iowa, it's a one-in-five-million chance. Meaning that, statistically, there should be about a dozen married couples who have the exact same birth date and birth time. (Iowa City Press-Citizen)

Word of the Day: Snow Plow Rage:

snow plow rage (noun) /sno plow rayge/ - the feeling that comes when one of the city's snow plows goes down your street and pushes the snow you've shoveled back onto your driveway. --Example: I spent an hour shoveling the driveway yesterday so we could leave . . . then a plow came down the street and pushed a ton of snow right back in front of the driveway. I had so much snow plow rage I punched a squirrel.

A New Brain Scan Could Tell You Whether Or Not You'll Be Able To Quit Smoking:

There's some new technology that could either be a HUGE motivation to quit smoking . . . or a way to come to terms with being a smoker until the day it finally ENDS you. --Researchers at the University of Michigan say they've figured out a way to use people's MRI brain scans to predict if they can successfully quit smoking. --They've identified an area in the prefrontal cortex that shows them your ability to make major behavioral changes. And it doesn't lie: If it reacts a certain way to talking about quitting, that means you have the capacity to quit. --In their study, there was a perfect connection between people's prefrontal cortex reaction to anti-smoking ads, and whether or not they were able to quit smoking. They want to do more tests before taking something like this public. (Breitbart)

A Struggling Elementary School In Florida May Return a $20,000 Gift . . . Because It Was Donated By a Strip Club Owner:

My GOD I'm glad that I don't have a bunch of useless morals weighing me down. Because they completely get in the way of progress. --Roosevelt Elementary School in West Palm Beach, Florida is in serious financial trouble. It has the highest percentage of low-income students of any school in the city, and it's desperate for funding. --So a local charitable organization called Rodriguez Charities stepped up and donated $20,000 to the school. --But now, the school district and parents want to give the money back. Because they found out Rodriguez Charities is run by a man named Joe Rodriguez . . . and he owns strip clubs. And they don't want charity money that comes from a strip club owner. --Rodriguez owns the Pure Platinum strip club in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, and three Cheetah gentlemen's clubs in the area too. He's donated between $66,000 and $245,000 to charity every year. --He says he's shocked the school wants to return the money. Quote, "I think it's very small minded." --A rep from the Christian Family Coalition says they're pushing the school to return the money, quote, "It came from someone associated with the exploitation of women. That's not the message to send to kids." (South Florida Sun-Sentinel (--To review: These people SAY they take the moral high ground to protect their kids. But here, they're effing with their kids' futures for the sake of that moral high ground. It's almost like they have an agenda and the kids are just pawns.)

Dozens of Police Officers In North Carolina Are Called In To Break Up a Fight At . . . A Church:

On Sunday, police in Fletcher, North Carolina got a call. Huge brawl. It's getting bad. Send everyone. So about 30 officers reported to the massive fight that was taking place at . . . A CHURCH. --Apparently, about 75 people at the Greater New Zion Baptist Church were going at it. They'd started arguing over a pastor who was recently let go . . . half the congregation wanted him to stay, half wanted him to go, and things escalated. --The police were able to break up the fight and they say no one was seriously hurt. No charges were filed. (MSNBC)


A Mom Picks Up Her Son and His Friends Early From School . . . So They Can Help Her Rob a Bank:

This is NOT the way to make your teenager's friends think of you as the "cool" mom. -On Friday morning, 35-year-old Tawander Simmons of Stone Mountain, Georgia went to her son's high school and signed him out early. She also signed out two of his friends. --Since she's a parent, they let her take the three boys out of school, no questions asked. In retrospect, they probably should've asked some questions. --Because she took the three boys to a Wells Fargo bank branch . . . and they helped her ROB THE PLACE. --She and two of the boys walked into the Wells Fargo wearing masks. They had at least one gun. They demanded money, then went back to the car, where the third boy was waiting as their getaway driver. --Then they ended up in a high-speed chase . . . and the police finally tracked them down when they crashed their red Toyota Corolla into some railroad tracks. -All four were arrested for armed robbery. Two of the boys were 17 and one was 18, so all of them can be charged as adults. (ABC 2 - Atlanta)
An Inmate Is Busted For Smuggling Reefer Into Prison By Sewing It Into His Boxers:

Earlier this month, 41-year-old Dontas Marshall of Shelbyville, Kentucky was caught smuggling reefer into prison. And there were two reasons he got caught:

#1.) He smelled like reefer.

#2.) When the guards searched him, they found he was, quote, "clinching his buttocks very tight."

--Dontas was being booked into jail to do 15 YEARS on a possession of cocaine charge. (--It wasn't his first offense, which is why he was looking at 15 years . . . our country's drug sentencing isn't THAT ridiculous.) --On his second day in jail, a guard smelled marijuana . . . and thought it was fresh. He gave Dontas a pat down, and that's when all the buttock clenching was going on. So officers decided a strip search was necessary. --Before they could strip him down, Dontas confessed everything. He'd smuggled 15 joints into jail by sewing them into the waistband of his boxers. --There was never any strip search, so if he was clenching his buttocks to hide any contraband up in the no-go hole region . . . well, I guess the guards lost interest once they found his boxer joints. --Dontas was hit with new charges of trafficking and possession of marijuana. If he's convicted, he'll have more time tacked onto his sentence. (Louisville Courier-Journal)


There's a town in Colorado where you can hold your own open-air cremations . . . and burn the dead body of a loved on a funeral pyre. (Full Story)

Tough economic times have spurred a rash of vending-machine thefts. But the vending machine industry is fighting back! By adding real-time warning systems that send text messages to operators when break-ins occur. (Full Story)

We've said it before and we'll say it again: Oral sex can give you HPV! And scientists say an increase in HPV may be responsible for triggering an increase in head and neck cancers in Americans. (Full Story)

A 10-year-old asked NASA to help with a school space project. So they did . . . and sent him a detailed packet with all the specific information he needed for his presentation. (Full Story)

The 26-year veteran cop who ran the Dallas Crime Stoppers unit is crooked: He pocketed $250,000 in cash rewards for bogus tips, and no arrests were ever made. (Full Story)

A driver in Seattle was offended by a guy dancing without his pants at a bus stop. So naturally he circled the block twice . . . made sure he got THREE looks at the guy . . . THEN called the cops. (Full Story)

#1.) On a Game Show in Denmark, a Contestant Had to Stick His Face In Another Guy's Crack . . . Then Guess What He Was Smelling:

On a recent episode of a Danish game show called "Total Blackout", a contestant had to stand in a pitch-black room and identify three things by smelling them. The first two items were paint and cheese, and he got them both on his first try. --But it took him a few guesses to get the third smell . . . because it was some dude with no pants on bending over in front of his FACE. And when the guy finally found out what he was sticking his nose in, he started dry heaving. (--WARNING: This video shows a man's bare butt, and shows the word "ass" in the subtitles.)
(--Search for "Total Blackout Smelly Butt." He starts smelling the guy's butt at :18, and finds out what it is at :41.)

#2.) There's a Cab Driver Somewhere In Brazil Who Can Sing Exactly Like Michael Jackson:

There's a taxi driver in Brazil who can sing exactly like MICHAEL JACKSON and a video of him singing "Billie Jean" already has over 100,000 views on YouTube. (--Search for "Cabbie Sings Like Michael Jackson." He starts at :12.)

#3.) Paul Rudd and Jason Segel Did a FunnyOrDie Video As Their Characters From "I Love You, Man" . . . And Got to Meet the Band Rush:

In the movie "I Love You, Man", PAUL RUDD and JASON SEGEL played two guys who both loved the band RUSH. And in a new follow-up video on FunnyOrDie.com, the characters get to meet the band members after sneaking into the green room after a show. --But then they get kicked out after the band finds out their backstage passes are fake . . . and that Jason Segel ate the drummer's sandwich.
(--WARNING: This video includes the word "ass". Search for "Jason Segel and Paul Rudd Meet Rush." Rush shows up at 1:28.)

#4.) A Soldier Who'd Been in Afghanistan for 11 Months Surprised His Daughter by Walking Onto the Court at Her Basketball Game:

A soldier from St. Louis, Missouri returned home after an 11-month tour in Afghanistan, and surprised his kids by strolling onto the court at his daughter's basketball game. Obviously, it was an emotional reunion. (--Search for "Missouri Soldier Surprises Family at Basketball Game." He walks into frame at :25.)

#5.) Some Guy Let His Four-Year-Old Daughter Drive a Motorcycle on a Busy Highway:

There's a new video on YouTube of a young Indian girl driving a motorcycle down a three-lane highway, while her dad rides on the back. And according to the YouTube description, she's only FOUR. (--Search for "4-Year-Old Indian Girl on Motorcycle")

Do Dogs Really Need Clothing in Cold Weather . . . Or Is It Just Trendy?

When someone dresses their dog up in clothing, it always seems like it's verging on animal cruelty. But it turns out that an extra layer DOES help some dogs stay warm. And it's something veterinarians suggest all the time. JK--Here's why: The normal body temperature for a dog is between 101 and 102 degrees. That means in cold weather, they start feeling cold before we do. --And if their temperature drops five or six degrees, it lowers their blood pressure, and puts them at risk for kidney damage and hypothermia. --But obviously not ALL dogs need to wear a sweater. Big dogs like Labradors and German shepherds are fine in the cold, as long as they're active and have a healthy diet. -The dogs that DO benefit from extra layers are short-haired breeds and small lap dogs like Chihuahuas and terriers, because they have a harder time retaining body heat. --And an extra layer is good for old or sick dogs too, because it helps their bodies stay warm without wasting so much energy. --Waterproof coats, sweaters and boots are all good. But don't buy your dog a hat. Apparently hats just make dogs miserable, and can throw off their equilibrium. (The Wall Street Journal)


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