Thursday, February 3, 2011

HOLLYWOOD DIRT OVERFLOW (02-03-11)

SHEEN-ANIGANS

Charlie Sheen Says All the Rumors About Him are Crap:

Is CHARLIE SHEEN going to die? Does he want to play house with a bunch of porno stars? Have most of his teeth fallen out due to drug use? Are his parents seeking a conservatorship to assume control of his affairs? --We may never get answers to these questions. Especially from Charlie. --In a text conversation with E! News, Charlie said, quote, "All crap. Believe nothing. I will never speak about any of this as long as I'm alive. You're all gonna have to keep towing the same redundant line, guessing wrong." --He also voiced his disappointment with the media for even paying attention to any of it . . . quote, "[By the way], two wars are in an endless state of sorrow. Egypt about burned to the ground, and all you people care about is my bull(crap)? --"Shame shame shame." --Charlie's rep then issued a statement on his behalf saying, quote, "I have a lot of work to do to be able to return the support I have received from so many people. I want to say thank you to my fellow castmembers, the crew of 'Two and a Half Men' and everyone at CBS and Warner Brothers." --He added, quote, "And to my fans, your good wishes have touched me very much. Like Errol Flynn, who had to put down his sword on occasion, I just want to say thank you."


Check Out the Charlie Sheen 911 Call:

The 911 call that brought the ambulance to CHARLIE SHEEN'S house last Thursday morning has hit the web. --It was made by Dr. Paul Nassif of "The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills". He's not Charlie's doctor . . . he's a facial plastic surgeon. --But he's Charlie's neighbor and friend . . . and he's the one who drove Charlie home from the hospital later that night. --It's actually quite BORING. But there's one interesting part in which Nassif tells the 911 operator that he spoke to Charlie on the phone, and Charlie was, quote, "very, very intoxicated and also apparently in a lot of pain." (--Here's the audio.)


Justin Bieber's First Kiss Was "Really Awkward":

Sorry girls . . . no matter how many times you've dreamed of doing it, you will NOT be the one to give JUSTIN BIEBER his first kiss. Someone already beat you to it. But if it's any consolation, it sounds like it wasn't all that great. --Justin says, quote, "It was kinda awkward . . . I was, like, 11 or 12. And I was on a snow hill and it was late and we were all cold and I was, like, with this girl and we were together and then I kissed her. It was really awkward." --Meanwhile . . . Justin still won't admit he's dating SELENA GOMEZ. But the woman who plays Selena's mom on "The Wizards of Waverly Place" seems to think it's happening. And she approves. --MARIA CANALS-BARRERA says, quote, "He's very sweet. I've met him a few times. I can't imagine how difficult it would be for two superstars like that to actually have a budding romance, but I wish them the very best. --"From what I have seen so far he's a nice young man."


Terrence Howard's Wife Has Filed for Divorce . . . Is It Because She Got Fed Up With Him Making Her Use Baby Wipes After Going to the Bathroom?

TERRENCE HOWARD'S wife MICHELLE filed for divorce from him last week. In her petition, she cited the classically ambiguous "irreconcilable differences" as the reason for the split . . . which tells us NOTHING. --Michelle and Terrence have only been married a YEAR. They were just spotted together two weeks ago at the Sundance Film Festival . . . where Terrence was hyping a movie called "The Ledge". --Since we don't know why they broke up, it is our duty to MAKE STUFF UP. (???) And we're wondering if maybe Michelle got tired of being forced to use BABY WIPES after using the potty. --Remember, no baby wipes is a deal breaker for Terrence. Some years back he said, quote, "If they're using dry paper, they aren't washing all of themselves. It's just unclean. --"So if I go in a woman's house and see the toilet paper there, I'll explain this. And if she doesn't make the adjustment to baby wipes, I'll know she's not completely clean." --This was Terrence's third marriage . . . but his first two were to the same woman. --He married Lori McCommas in 1989, but they divorced in 2003 after he was arrested for allegedly assaulting her. (--He pleaded guilty to a lesser charge of disorderly conduct.) --He and Lori remarried in 2005, but divorced again in 2009. They have three children. Terrence and Michelle didn't have kids together.
Is Eva Longoria dating Penelope Cruz's Younger Brother?

EVA LONGORIA may be on the rebound with the younger brother of PENELOPE CRUZ. His name is Eduardo, and they've been seen out together several times, and they've also reportedly been spending time at Eva's house. --One night they even took in a flamenco group at a cabaret. A witness who saw them there says, quote, "Eva and Eduardo seemed to have a good time together. They were flirty, and held hands for a brief moment during the performance. --"Eva looked very happy and acted like a single girl that is ready for some fun."


Craig Ferguson Has a New Son:

CRAIG FERGUSON and his wife Megan welcomed a baby boy on Monday. They named him Liam James. This is their first kid together . . . but Craig also has a 9-year-old son named Milo from a previous marriage --Ferguson is 48, and his wife is an art dealer. They got married in December 2008.


Lindsay Lohan Claims She Didn't Steal That Expensive Necklace:

We know more about the "high-end bling" that LINDSAY LOHAN is being accused of stealing. It's just a necklace . . . but it's a necklace worth $2,500. Lindsay allegedly swiped it from a jewelry store near her home. --The store is called Kamofie & Company. They gave cops surveillance video of Lindsay wearing the necklace just before it was taken on January 22nd . . . as well as a photo of her wearing it a week later. (--Here's the photo. From what we're hearing, the necklace in question is the SHORTER one.) --The LAPD really DID have a warrant to search Lindsay's place for it. But they never got to execute that warrant, because the necklace was turned over to police before they could. --Lindsay was NOT the one who returned it, and nobody knows if she's even associated with the person who returned it. -Even though the necklace was returned, police are still investigating, and Lindsay could still be charged with grand theft over it. Which could very well land her back behind bars on a probation violation. --According to TMZ, police sources say that the case is going to the DA today . . . and charges are LIKELY. --And let's not forget, she's still being investigated for allegedly assaulting an employee at the Betty Ford Clinic. --Now it's time for LINDSAY'S EXCUSE. --A so-called "source" says that Lindsay is claiming the necklace was LOANED to her on January 22nd. When she was done with it, she gave it to a stylist to return it. But he or she failed to do so in a timely manner. --Supposedly, it was the stylist who returned the necklace to police on Tuesday night. --Lindsay reportedly told the source, quote, "I didn't have any part in the non-returning on time."


Michael Lohan Got a Father of the Year Award:

If you're in need of a good laugh this morning, I've got your hookup. A Pennsylvania magazine called "The Weekender" has named MICHAEL LOHAN Father of the Year. --I suppose you want a reason, right? Writer Justin Brown says Michael gets a bad rap from the media, when all he's really trying to do is save his family. --Brown says, quote, "I see Michael Lohan as a father who will stop at nothing to protect his family even although he is often vilified by the media for those efforts." (--You can read more about this insanity here.) --As you may have heard, Michael had emergency surgery earlier this week for a blocked artery. He's expected to recover.


Anderson Cooper Was Attacked By a Mob in Egypt:

CNN stud ANDERSON COOPER was in Cairo, Egypt yesterday, when violence broke out between supporters and opponents of President Hosni Mubarak. And he experienced some of the violence first hand. --Anderson and his crew were actually surrounded by a pro-Mubarak crowd and ATTACKED. He told a manager back at CNN headquarters that he was, quote, "punched 10 times in the head." --Anderson said that people were just walking up and taking swings at them. He added, quote, "The instinct is try to punch back . . . but in a situation like that you really can't because that just inflames the crowd all the more. --"So all we could do is just try to walk as quickly as possible, stay together and seek a safe location which is where we are now." (--Here's video of Anderson describing the ordeal.) --CHRISTIANE AMANPOUR of ABC News claims she and her crew were attacked, too. --She said, quote, "An angry mob surrounded us and chased us into the car shouting that they hate America. They kicked in the car doors and broke our windshield as we drove away."


Did Gabriel Aubry Call Halle Berry the N-Word?

Sources say that GABRIEL AUBRY became verbally abusive to HALLE BERRY, and even threatened her, after they broke up. He had even taken to calling her the N-WORD. --Meanwhile, another source shed some light on why Halle is afraid to let Gabriel spend time alone with their 2-year-old daughter Nahla. --Supposedly, Nahla cries hysterically and throws tantrums when Gabriel comes to pick her up for visits. And while she can't communicate what's upsetting her so much, Halle thinks something bad must be happening to cause her fits.


Did Cheech Marin Assault His EX-Wife?

CHEECH MARIN'S ex-wife, Patti Heid, asked for an emergency restraining order, claiming that Cheech assaulted her during a property dispute. --Patti says Cheech got mad at her when a deal to transfer some property between them fell through. --She says he, quote, "fractured my cheek, blackened my eye and violently choked me causing severe bruising on my neck and neck pain . . . numbing of my arms and hands." --She also claims he choked their son. (--There's no word yet from Cheech.)


THE TOP 40 EARNERS IN HOLLYWOOD

James Cameron Was the Top Earner in Hollywood Last Year with $257 Million:

"Vanity Fair" has put out a list of Hollywood's Top 40 Earners . . . and not surprisingly, "Avatar" director JAMES CAMERON came in first. He banked $257 million last year.

--Here's the Top 10 . . .

#1.) James Cameron, $257 million

#2.) Johnny Depp, $100 million

#3.) Steven Spielberg, $80 million

#4.) "Inception" director Christopher Nolan, $71.5 million

#5.) Leonardo DiCaprio, $62 million

#6.) Tim Burton, $53 million

#7.) Adam Sandler, $50 million

#8.) "Hangover" director Todd Phillips, $34 million

#9.) Taylor Lautner, $33.5 million

#10.) Robert Downey Jr., $31.5 million

--The list was limited to creative types . . . actors, directors and producers, basically. And they only counted revenue from FILM work. No TV money or endorsement revenues. (--Check out the complete list . . . and see the breakdown of where everybody's money came from last year, here.) --As you probably noticed, Taylor Lautner beat out both his "Twilight" co-stars. --KRISTEN STEWART came in at #13 with $28.5 million. She's the highest-ranking woman on the list, by the way. (--Jennifer Aniston was the second highest-ranking woman at #18. She made $24.5 million last year.) (--Angelina Jolie follows at #21, with $23.5 million.) --ROBERT PATTINSON finished 15th with $27.5 million.
Kristen Stewart Didn't Try Out for the "Superman" Movie:

It turns out KRISTEN STEWART did NOT audition for the part of Lois Lane in the new "Superman" movie. --Her rep says, quote, "There are a number of fabricated stories circulating. The fact is that she has not met on this film nor has she been approached for this film." --But she IS in talks to star in "Snow White and the Huntsman", a new, action-oriented take on the fairy tale. --VIGGO MORTENSEN is playing the huntsman, and CHARLIZE THERON will play the evil queen. (--There's now word that OLIVIA WILDE may be in line for the Lois Lane part. But as usual we should note that there's absolutely nothing definite about this.)


"AMERICAN IDOL" INSANITY

The Top 10 "American Idol" Sob Stories:

Billboard.com has put together a list of The Top 10 "American Idol" Sob Stories, which is basically a rundown of the most tear-jerking stories that have come out during the show's 10 seasons --They don't appear to be ranked . . . possibly because that could come across as INSENSITIVE. (--Like: "Yeah, your situation is pretty screwed up . . . but not nearly as screwed up as that contestant with syphilis from Season Four who was raised by wolves.")

--Here's the full list, along with videos:

--CHRIS MEDINA, from THIS season. (--He talked about how he's taking care of his fiancée because she was left brain damaged following a bad accident just two months before they were supposed to get married.) [Video]

--DANNY GOKEY, from Season Eight. (--His wife, Sophia, died while having heart surgery just four weeks before he tried out for "Idol".) [Video]

--ANGELA MARTIN, from Season Nine, although she tried out three times. (--Her father was murdered . . . her mother went missing . . . her daughter has seizures . . . and she was once disqualified for being briefly jailed on a traffic violation.) [Video]

--DAVID COOK, from Season Seven. (--David's brother, Adam, was fighting brain cancer during David's winning run on "Idol". At one point, Adam's doctors cleared him to go to L.A. to see David perform live. Adam died in 2009.) [Video]

--ASIA'H EPPERSON, from Season Seven. (--Asia'h's dad died in a car accident just two days before her "Idol" audition. It actually happened MINUTES after she called him . . . to tell him she was on her way to the audition.) [Video]

--SCOTT MACINTYRE, from Season Eight. (--Scott was the guy who made it all the way to the Top 10 despite being almost entirely blind.) [Video]

--ANTHONY FEDEROV, from Season Four. (--After suffering complications of a breathing problem when he was little, doctors said they didn't think he'd be able to talk again. He did, and he could sing, too. He ended up finishing fourth.) [Video]

--JOSIAH LEMING, from Season Seven. (--Josiah was an 18-year-old high school dropout, who lived in his car. But he even admitted that he wasn't homeless out of necessity . . . he was doing it to follow his dream.) [Video]

--JIM VERRAROS, from Season One. (--Both of Jim's parents are deaf, and yet he said they went to every one of his shows to support him . . . even though they've never been able to actually hear him sing.) [Video]

(--It's amazing how "American Idol" has changed, visually, over the years. The format for the auditions is basically the same, but look at the set in that Jim Verraros video. It looks like this is happening in a middle school auditorium.) (--And think about the sets they have been using this season . . . where they're either in some famous space like the Ryman Auditorium, or they're in some kind of observation deck overlooking the local majestic body of water.)

--KATIE STEVENS, from Season Nine. (--She talked about her grandmother, who's suffering from Alzheimer's. She said she wanted her grandmother to see her succeed before she forgets who she is.) [Video]
Russell Hantz Has Been Accused of Leaking "Survivor" Secrets:

CBS and "Survivor" recently filed a lawsuit against JIM EARLY . . . a blogger who posts under the name "missyae" on the forum site SurvivorSucks.com. --Early was leaking all kinds of "Survivor" results, secrets and other information that wouldn't be known to anyone who wasn't involved with the show. --CBS offered to drop the lawsuit, but only if Early revealed his source. He did . . . saying that it was "Survivor" villain RUSSELL HANTZ. That made sense, because Early's biggest leaks came in the seasons Russell competed in . . . 19 and 20. --The lawsuit was dropped . . . and now CBS could go after Russell. Leaking information about the show is not only in breach of a contestant's contract, it also reportedly comes with a $5 million penalty. --CBS has NOT said what they're going to do. The problem is Russell is one of their more popular contestants . . . AND he's back on the upcoming season of "Survivor". (--"Survivor: Redemption Island", which premieres February 16th.) --Russell has never commented on the lawsuit against Early, but last month, he did post this on his Facebook page: Quote, "Please respect me as I respect my fans. I will NOT talk about Season 22 so please don't ask until it's over.


"Beavis and Butt-Head" Is Returning to MTV:

MTV is bringing back "Beavis and Butt-Head". They made the announcement yesterday. Actually, they had the cast of "Skins" make the announcement for them at a press event . . . just to make sure they had everyone's attention. --There's no premiere date yet, but they said it'll happen sometime this year. "Beavis and Butt-Head" originally aired on MTV from 1993 to 1997.


Jennifer Aniston Says She Turned Down "SNL" to Do "Friends":

On yesterday's "Oprah", JENNIFER ANISTON said she was offered a spot on "Saturday Night Live" in the early '90s . . . but she turned it down to do "Friends". --She explained that ADAM SANDLER had recommended her to "SNL" boss Lorne Michaels, but she turned it down because, quote, "[It was] a boys' club. They were like, 'You're so stupid.' They thought I was making a huge mistake." --Obviously, that "mistake" worked out OK for Jennifer. "Friends" became a huge sensation, and she was eventually pulling down $1 million an episode. (--So, there WAS a time in Jennifer's life where SHE was the one doing the dumping.)


Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"American Idol" [Auditions Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"(Bleep) My Dad Says" . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Lee Majors guest stars and makes The Shat jealous as he tries to win Jean Smart's heart.)

--"The Office" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on NBC. (--Dwight, Holly and Erin search for Michael in the city after Jim receives an emergency call and is forced to leave him behind in a gas-station bathroom.)

--"Grey's Anatomy" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Derek begins working on his Alzheimer's clinical trial and the chief gets upset with Bailey's O.R. tweets.)

--"CSI" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on CBS. (--Marlee Matlin guest stars as a college professor and former girlfriend of Grissom. The episode's about a car-bomb investigation, that somehow also involves Grissom's mom.)

--"Million Dollar Listing" [4th Season Premiere] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Bravo. (--This season introduces Josh Altman who replaces former realtor Chad Rogers.)

--"Royal Pains" . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on USA. (--Sami Gayle, who plays Bridget Moynahan's daughter on "Blue Bloods", guest stars as a teenage singer.)

--"Ace of Cakes" . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on Food Network. (--NHL Hall of Famer Adam Graves makes Duff's dream come true when they celebrate the start of the New York Rangers' 85th Season with a cupcake creation.)

--"Eagleheart" [SERIES Premiere] . . . Midnight to 12:15 A.M. on Adult Swim. (--It's produced by Conan O'Brien's production company and stars Chris Elliott as a U.S. Marshal who loves to, quote, "punch people so hard that they explode".)

Billy Joel Says Elton John Accusing Him of Being an Alcoholic Is Just "Elton Being Elton":

BILLY JOEL has responded to ELTON JOHN'S comments in the new "Rolling Stone" . . . in which he accuses Billy of being an alcoholic who needs help. --Billy said, quote, "I've worked with Elton for such a long time and I've enjoyed our relationship too much to let something as random as these comments change my affection for him. Elton is just being Elton." (--So Billy is NOT abusing alcohol again . . . or he is, but isn't accepting it. Or maybe he does realize he's struggling, but isn't ready to talk about it publicly.) --Billy has already done the alcohol rehab thing twice in the past decade. He spent a month in a facility in 2005 . . . and he was also treated in 2002. --But Elton told "Rolling Stone" that Billy hasn't conquered it yet. He said, quote, "Every time he goes to rehab they've been rehab light. Billy, you have your demons and you're not going to get rid of them at rehab light. You've got to be serious." --So how did this initially come up in the interview? Elton was talking about how disappointed he was that Billy has stopped writing new music . . . and apparently he thinks Billy's drinking may be keeping him down. --He said, quote, "At the end of the day, he's coasting. I always say, 'Billy, can't you write another song?' It's either fear or laziness. It upsets me. Billy's a conundrum."


Elton John's Baby Already Has His Own iPod:

ELTON JOHN has already given his newborn son Zachary an iPod. He says, quote, "We put on lullaby versions of songs by Led Zeppelin, Bob Marley and The Beatles . . . Linda Ronstadt's 'Dedicated to the One I Love' . . . --"Carole King's 'Tapestry', James Taylor, Simon and Garfunkel's 'Greatest Hits' and Kate Bush, because we love her so much. Then some Chopin and Mozart."


The White Stripes Are Over . . . Officially:

JACK and MEG WHITE have announced that THE WHITE STRIPES are OVER. --They posted a message on the band's website yesterday saying, quote, "The White Stripes would like to announce that today, February 2nd, 2011, their band has officially ended and will make no further new recordings or perform live." --The statement adds that the break-up was caused by basically EVERYTHING . . . except anything that you can actually think of. --They say, quote, "The reason is not due to artistic differences or lack of wanting to continue, nor any health issues as both Meg and Jack are feeling fine and in good health." (--They stopped touring in 2007 because of Meg's mysterious "acute anxiety". Interesting Fact: Their last TV appearance came on CONAN O'BRIEN'S last night hosting "Late Night" in 2009.) --"It is for a myriad of reasons, but mostly to preserve what is beautiful and special about the band and have it stay that way. Meg and Jack want to thank every one of their fans and admirers for the incredible support they have given." (--You can read their full statement at WhiteStripes.com.)


Michael Anthony Is "Looking Forward" to Hearing a New Van Halen Disc:

There have been a lot of rumors that VAN HALEN is in the midst of recording a new album with DAVID LEE ROTH . . . and if that's the case, the band's former bassist MICHAEL ANTHONY can't wait to hear it. --He says, quote, "I'm looking forward to seeing what they'll do." This would be the first Van Halen album that Michael didn't play on. --Michael also claims he has "no hard feelings" over being dumped by the band, and says he'd be cool with OPENING for Van Halen with his new band CHICKENFOOT. --It's unclear if he was being sarcastic or not. Either way, there's little chance that'll happen . . . because Chickenfoot also features former Van Halen singer SAMMY HAGAR.)


Britney Spears Does Not Need a "Dance Double":

BRITNEY SPEARS' camp is DENYING a report that claimed she needed a "dance double" for her next music video because she was having trouble nailing the routine. --"Multiple sources on the set" of Britney's "Hold It Against Me" video tell TMZ that the director had the dance double brought in after he became frustrated with Britney's work ethic. --But Britney's rep says, quote, "The accusations could not be further from the truth. Britney worked extremely hard on this video and rehearsed for six weeks prior to shooting. Fans will immediately see how inaccurate these claims are once they see the video." --And the director is also disputing the report . . . quote, "[Britney's] been great throughout the entire process. I've been around long enough to know when an artist gives it their all . . . and to me it doesn't get better than this. --"This video is gonna be (effing) awesome. It's all Britney." -Meanwhile, Britney has announced that her next album will be titled "Femme Fatale". She's also released the cover art. (--You can see it, here.)
In Another Record-Low Sales Week, Amos Lee Gets His First #1 Album:

For the third time in less than a month, the #1 album has set a record-LOW for sales. This week's top seller only sold 40,000 copies. But you probably won't hear AMOS LEE complaining because that allowed him to "earn" his first #1 album ever. (--The previous all-time low was set just two weeks ago, when CAKE'S "Showroom of Compassion" sold 44,000 copies.)

1.) (NEW) "Mission Bell", Amos Lee (40,000 copies)
2.) (NEW) "Kiss Each Other Clean", Iron and Wine (39,000 copies)
3.) "Pink Friday", Nicki Minaj (38,000 copies)


SHOWBIZ EXTRAS

There's a rumor going around that CHELSEA CLINTON'S marriage is already in trouble, after just a few months. It's not true. (Full Story)


The red bathing suit FARRAH FAWCETT wore in the iconic '70s poster that made her a star is heading for the Smithsonian Institute in Washington, D.C. (Full Story)


JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMME ran up a $940 bill at a Los Angeles nightclub and left a $40 tip. That's just over FOUR PERCENT. (Full Story)


KFC might actually be interested in SPENCER PRATT'S ridiculous rap song, "Ain't No Thing But a Chicken Wing". (Full Story)


MEGAN FOX put some pictures on Facebook of herself as a toddler, and said she used to look like STEVE BUSCEMI. (Full Story)


The next FOO FIGHTERS album will be out April 12th. It still doesn't have a title. (Full Story)


JOHN WAYNE SCHULZ . . . the 23-year-old cowboy who wowed the judges on "American Idol" last night . . . recorded an album when he was 14. (Full Story)


PRESIDENT OBAMA will watch the Super Bowl at the White House with JENNIFER LOPEZ and MARC ANTHONY. (Full Story)


NAZZY’S RANDOM STUFF

Men Are More Likely Than Women To Choose Having Sex Over Watching the Super Bowl:

Here's a great look at men, women, the Super Bowl, and PRIORITIES. And one thing's clear: Football is important to a lot of men . . . but it can't trump sweet, sweet coitus. -According to a new survey by the dating site Zoosk.com, men are more likely than women to choose having sex over watching the Super Bowl. 50% of men would pick sex over the game . . . versus 27% of women. --Here are some more results from the survey . . . --Green Bay was ranked a less romantic city than Pittsburgh . . . although the most common answer was "neither one is romantic." --Men are more likely to be rooting for Green Bay on Sunday, women are more likely to be rooting for Pittsburgh. --Men said that the football player they'd most like to have a drink with is BRETT FAVRE. (--Maybe go trolling for some sweet tail together afterwards?) --Women said the football player they'd most like to have a drink with is TOM BRADY. (--Maybe to let him do things to them that are illegal in 27 states afterwards?) --Women also voted RYAN CLARK of the Steelers as the most attractive player in the Super Bowl. AARON RODGERS of the Packers came in second. (Huffington Post) (--Here are photos of Ryan Clark and Aaron Rodgers.)


There Are 26 Players In the Super Bowl Who Weigh Over 300 Pounds . . . In 1980, There Were Only Three 300 Pounders In the Entire NFL:

It's no secret why there are so many injuries in the NFL: The players get more and more FREAKISH every single season. They're enormous, a lot of them crack the 300-pound mark, and yet they would DESTROY any one of us in a foot race. --Looking at this year's Super Bowl, you can see just how crazy it's getting: Between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Green Bay Packers, there are 26 players who weigh over 300 pounds . . . 13 on each team. --Back in 1980, there were only three players IN THE ENTIRE NFL who weighed over 300 pounds. --In 1970, the NFL had one 300-pounder. In 1980 it was up to three. By 1990, that jumped to 94. In 2000, it was up to 301 players. And in 2010, it was up to 394. That's a 3,940% increase over 40 years. --Creatine and other non-banned weight lifting supplements get the most credit. Players are able to pack on muscle now faster than ever. And to stay competitive in the modern game, they have to be as strong as possible. --As for whether that's healthy in the long term . . . well, no. But it's part of what it takes to play in the NFL now . . . so all of the players seem fine with putting on the weight. --Erik Williams is a former lineman for the Dallas Cowboys who weighed over 300 pounds during his 11 seasons. He says, quote, "I'm disabled right now. I need two hip replacements." But, he says, he wouldn't change a thing. (Yahoo News) (--Fun Football Facts: Making a forward pass wasn't legal until 1906. It was supposed to make the game LESS brutal. But it increased dangerous open-field tackles. And back in the day, players had to play both offense AND defense.)


Drinking Coffee Makes Women Smarter . . . And Men Dumber:

This is either great news about coffee, or terrible news about coffee . . . depending on what naughty parts you see when you look down. --According to a new study from Bristol University in England, when women drink coffee, it gives them a temporary boost in brainpower. When men drink coffee, it has the opposite effect. --In the study, some men and women tried to do tasks like puzzles, negotiations, and memory challenges after drinking regular coffee, and some tried to do them after decaf. --Men had a lot more trouble with memory and decision-making when they were ratcheted up on caffeine compared to when they drank decaf. --Women did better on all of the tasks after drinking regular coffee. --The researchers say they're not exactly sure why drinking coffee has opposite effects on the genders. (Daily Mail)


Punxsutawney Phil Didn't See His Shadow . . . That's Only the 16th Time That's Happened In 114 Years:

Right now, snow is aggressively violating a good part of the United States . . . without even giving us the courtesy of a reach-around. --So FINALLY, here's some good news on the weather front. Well, not necessary news, but folk legend. --Yesterday was Groundhog Day . . . a.k.a. America's most pointless folk holiday . . . and Punxsutawney Phil emerged in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania and did NOT see his shadow. That means an early spring. --This is only the 16th time that he hasn't seen his shadow in 114 years. (--They've actually held Groundhog Day in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania for 125 years, but don't have records for 11 of those years.) --According to the "Washington Post", the groundhog has only been right 39% of the time. So, if you really want to play the odds, the fact that he predicted an early spring means there's a BETTER chance of a long, brutal winter. (Washington Post)


About One In Six Guys Gives Flowers On Valentine's Day Just To Avoid Being Yelled At:

Nothing makes your boyfriend or husband turn up the romance like making sure he's LIVING IN FEAR. --According to a new survey by ProFlowers, 16% of the guys who give flowers on Valentine's Day say that they're doing it because they don't want to get YELLED AT. -Another 26% say they give flowers on Valentine's Day so their significant other isn't DISAPPOINTED. The rest say they give flowers as a way to, quote, "express their love." Whatever. --More than three out of four guys have given flowers for Valentine's Day in the past two years. (PR Newswire)


Word of the Day: Batrachomyomachy:

batrachomyomachy (noun) /buh trah kuh my ohm uh key/ - literally means the battle between frogs and mice . . . and is used to describe when people make a huge deal out of nothing. -Example: I got on a plane with no problem this morning, the airport was basically empty, and we landed early. All the talk about how the storm was going to destroy my travel plans was classic batrachomyomachy from the Liberal Media.
The Average Parent Only Has 93 Minutes of Free Time a Day:

If you ask any parent . . . at least any good parent . . . they'll tell you the same thing: Once you have kids, those kids OWN you. And here's just how much they own you. --According to a new British survey, the average parent only has 93 minutes of free time a day. And that's not 93 minutes in a row. That's 93 minutes grabbing a few free minutes here, a few free minutes there. --Here's how the average parent's day broke down in the survey: -Getting showered, dressed, and eating in the morning: 55 minutes. -Getting the kids ready: 47 minutes. -Commuting: 52 minutes. -Working: Eight hours, 12 minutes. -Picking up the kids: 33 minutes. -Making and eating dinner: 46 minutes. -Hanging with the kids, then putting them to bed: One hour, nine minutes. -Household chores: One hour, 13 minutes. --Added up, that's 867 minutes. Assuming you sleep eight hours, you have 960 total minutes in the day . . . and 93 of those aren't scheduled. (New York Times)


If Parents Had More Free Time, the Main Thing They'd Do Is . . . Spend Even More Time On Their Kids:

This is either a sign that the world is filled with truly incredible parents . . . or that parents are such SLAVES to their kids that even when they have free time, they want to give it to their child overlords. --A British survey asked parents what they'd do if they had more free time during the day . . . meaning the free time they gave up to become good parents. And the number one answer was . . . spend more time with the kids. Here's the full top 10:

#1.) Spend more time with their children

#2.) Read books

#3.) Exercise more

#4.) Relax in front of the TV

#5.) Sleep in

#6.) Go out drinking

#7.) Have a better sex life

#8.) Make new friends

#9.) Take more romantic walks

#10.) Go to the movies

(New York Times)


The Most Common "Stupid Request" That Flight Attendants Hear Is . . . "Can You Open the Window?"

Hey, it's time to laugh at stupid people! --Virgin Atlantic airlines just did a survey of more than 3,000 flight attendants and asked them for the strangest, craziest, and dumbest requests they've ever gotten from passengers.

--And the number one most common "stupid request" they've heard is . . . "Can you open the window?"
--Number two is "Can you show me to the showers?"
--Here are some less common . . . but equally bad . . . requests that different flight attendants have heard.
--"Is there a McDonald's on board?"
--"Can you take my children to the play room?"
--"Can you ask the captain to stop the turbulence?"
--"Will you fix my hair?"
--"The engines are too noisy, can you turn them down?"
(Luxury Travel Magazine)
Now That Craigslist's Adult Services Are Gone, Prostitutes Have Fully Transitioned To . . . Facebook:

Last year, Craigslist shut down its adult services section . . . which was really the go-to place for prostitutes to advertise their services online. -But if you thought that Craigslist banning prostitution ads would be the end of prostitutes diligently and aggressively working the Internet to find clients . . . then you don't know prostitutes. --Sudhir Venkatesh is a sociology professor at Columbia University in New York. He spent a full year following prostitutes in New York for a study and found that they've FULLY made the transition from Craigslist to . . . Facebook. -And he says by the end of this year, Facebook will easily be the, quote, "leading online recruitment space" for prostitutes and their clients. --Using Facebook, prostitutes can market themselves, find clients online . . . and sometimes avoid having to use a pimp since they can do it all themselves. Venkatesh found 83% of the prostitutes he surveyed have a Facebook page. --And people looking for prostitutes can go on Facebook to find the squish they want without having to walk around some sketchy streets. --Venkatesh also found that about 70% of the prostitutes he observed used BLACKBERRIES. --The prostitutes told him that BlackBerries aren't just good for corresponding with online clients . . . a BlackBerry makes them look more professional, which helps their image. About 19% had iPhones. (New York Observer)


RANDOM NEWS EXTRAS

Super Bowl Stupidity: The annoying Canadian YouTube group 'Epic Meal Time' made one of their fake meat-only meals in honor of the Super Bowl. It's "The Sloppy Big Ben Roethlisburger" . . . an inedible burger with 13 pounds of ground beef, 20 pounds of bacon, injected with barbecue sauce, and over 100,000 calories. (Full Story)


Researchers at the University of Connecticut planted a fake website for the nonexistent "tree octopus" to test the internet illiteracy of their students, and see if they could correctly evaluate information online. They couldn't. (Full Story)


A woman in her 30s in New Zealand is suing the police for $150,000 . . . because they used bolt-cutters to remove her genital piercing after she was arrested for obstruction. (Full Story)


The only plastic surgery in the UK that's growing faster than boob jobs is . . . male breast reduction surgery. It's up 28% from last year. (Full Story)


According to new research, children who have their tonsils taken out are more likely to gain weight after the procedure, and to battle weight problems when they get older. (Full Story)


With help from the ACLU, a teenager in California successfully avoided suspension . . . after calling his teacher a "fat ass" on Facebook. (Full Story)


NAZZY’S SILLY VIDEOS OF THE DAY

#1.) A Weatherman Meant to Say "Hot Cup of Cocoa" . . . But Instead of "Cup", He Said a C-Word That Rhymes with "Rock":

On Tuesday, a weatherman in Canada was doing his blizzard forecast, and he MEANT to tell viewers to pour a "hot cup of cocoa". But instead of "cup", he said a C-word that rhymes with "Rock". (--Search for "Weatherman Hot Cup of Cocoa")


#2.) Someone Did a Video Parody About the Mayors of Pittsburgh and Green Bay Agreeing to a Ridiculous Super Bowl Bet:

Most years for the Super Bowl, the mayors of the two cities involved make some sort of lame bet. So someone with the Upright Citizens Brigade comedy group made a parody video about the mayors of Green Bay and Pittsburgh making a RIDICULOUS bet. --In the video, it says that if the Packers win, the mayor of Pittsburgh has to send 30 pierogies and a case of Heinz ketchup to the mayor of Green Bay. --But if the Steelers win, the mayor of Green Bay has to take a shot to the groin, tell his kids there's no Santa Claus, and watch his sisters have sex with the mayor of Pittsburgh. (--WARNING: This video includes the D-word and bleeped profanity.)
(--Search for "Mayors Go Hardcore on Super Bowl Bet")


#3.) People in Chicago Abandoned Their Cars Because of the Blizzard:

Chicago got over 20 inches of snow on Tuesday and Wednesday. And Lake Shore Drive, the main road that runs along Lake Michigan, got so packed with traffic, people had to abandon their cars. --ABC News did a report on it, and some guy also posted pretty good footage of it on YouTube. (--Search for "Lake Shore Drive Stand Still" and "Chicago Blizzard Lake Shore Drive")


#4.) A Weather Channel Reporter Freaked Out When He Experienced "Thundersnow" In Chicago:

If you haven't heard of "thundersnow" it's exactly what it sounds like. It's when lightning strikes in the middle of a snowstorm. --And a reporter from the Weather Channel freaked out when it happened during a live report in Chicago. (--Search for "Jim Cantore Thundersnow")


#5.) A Woman Returned Home to Find Her House Burned Down . . . And a Local News Crew Ready to Interview Her:

There's no good way to find out your house burned down, but you'd hope for something better than THIS: --A woman in Richmond, Virginia returned home to find that all her personal belongings had gone up in flames . . . and a local news crew was there to get her instant reaction. (--Search WTVR.com for "Woman Learns of House Fire on TV." She shows up 19 seconds in.)


Five Ways to Tell You're Eating at a Fake Mexican Restaurant:

Obviously, Taco Bell doesn't qualify as authentic Mexican food . . . and the beef doesn't even qualify as authentic MEAT. But even if you go out to a nice Mexican restaurant, there's a good chance that what you're eating isn't really Mexican food. --It's AMERICANIZED Mexican food. So if you want to find the real thing, here are five ways to tell when you're eating at a fake Mexican restaurant.

#1.) Your Food Is Covered In Cheese. Real Mexican restaurants use cheese as an ingredient, but not as a topping on EVERYTHING.

#2.) They Serve Fajitas. Fajitas don't exist in Mexico. And they didn't exist in the U.S. until the 1960s. So if you're eating fajitas, you're eating Tex-Mex, not Mexican.

#3.) They Serve Huge Margaritas. The margarita DID originate in Mexico, but an authentic one includes tequila, lime, and a splash of sweetener on the rocks. --If a Mexican restaurant serves frozen, strawberry margaritas in glasses the size of fish bowls, they also probably serve trendy, Americanized Mexican food.

#4.) The Restaurant's Name Includes the Word "Cantina". A cantina in Mexico is a men's social club that also serves food and alcohol. And unless the people around you are playing cards or dominoes, you're not in a real cantina. --In America, a cantina is just a bar that serves Mexican food and has specials on tequila shots.

#5.) Your Waiter Is Dressed Like the Member of a Mariachi Band. Remember the outfits Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, and Martin Short wore in "The Three Amigos"? If your waiter is dressed like THAT, you're not eating authentic Mexican. (OCWeekly.com)

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