Thursday, May 19, 2011



Arnold Schwarzenegger's Wife and Mistress Were Pregnant at the Same Time:

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S wife and mistress were pregnant at the same time. In fact, MILDRED PATRICIA BAENA gave birth to her son just FIVE DAYS after MARIA SHRIVER gave birth to Christopher Schwarzenegger. (--That was in the fall of 1997. Both boys are 13 going on 14.) --Mildred . . . or PATTY, which is supposedly what everyone calls her . . . listed her then-husband Rogelio Baena as the boy's father on his birth certificate. She also listed her own last name as "Pena", not Baena. (--We assume that's her maiden name, but we don't actually know. You can see the birth certificate here. The child's name has been blacked out to protect his identity.) (--Something else we learned from the birth certificate: Patty was born in Guatemala.) -Just three weeks after Patty gave birth, she and Rogelio separated. But she didn't file for divorce until 2008. --In her divorce papers, Patty said that she and Rogelio have NO MINOR CHILDREN. (--You can see the divorce papers here. Patty has three other children . . . none of whom are Rogelio's.)

How Did Arnold Schwarzenegger Keep This Secret for 13 Years?

The question on everyone's mind regarding this whole scandal is, "How did ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER manage to keep this kid a secret for 13 years?" And I think we've all pretty much ruled out GOOD ACTING. So what does that leave us? --Quite simply, he DIDN'T TELL ANYBODY. Obviously, MARIA SHRIVER and the kids were completely blindsided when they finally found out. --Sources say nobody in Arnold's inner circle knew anything about the kid, either . . . not even his closest associates or aides. --And the kid's mother, MILDRED "PATTY" BAENA, wasn't talking. None of the other household staff knew her kid was Arnold's. We don't even know if the kid himself knew who his real dad was. Patty would even bring him to work sometimes. (--Which is odd, because people at TMZ who saw pictures of the boy say his resemblance to Arnold was, quote, "striking". Did no one who worked or lived in that house ever notice?) --Patty had a financial incentive to keep quiet. Arnold was taking care of his illegitimate son . . . and Patty as well. --It turns out she lives in a pretty sweet home in Bakersfield, California that Arnold supposedly bought her last year for $268,000. --According to, it's considered a luxury home for the area. It's 2,325 square feet and has four bedrooms, two bathrooms and a pool. (--Check out some pictures of the outside of it here.) (Radar Online) --Sources say Patty was loyal to Arnold all the way. She never threatened to talk, and Arnold never had any reason to think she would. He only went public with the story because the "L.A. Times" and TMZ were about to break it. (--Remember, Patty worked for Arnold and Maria for 20 years . . . right up through this past January. That's a long time to be in such close quarters with the family and keep a secret that big.) (--In a way, you almost have to honor that kind of loyalty. At the same time, she was in close proximity to Arnold's wife and kids for 20 years keeping that secret from them . . . which is pretty devious and immoral.) (--For the record, we should probably note that has "sources" who say Patty actually DID threaten to come forward. According to them, Patty didn't "retire" . . . she was FIRED. And she was furious.)

More Pictures of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Mistress . . . Including Pregnant Pics and Photos of Her Dressed as a Pirate:

We have some new pictures of ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S mistress and baby-mama, MILDRED "PATTY" BAENA. Technically, they're old pictures . . . but they're new to us. --They include pictures of Patty dressed as a PIRATE for a Halloween party in October of 1996. That's a few months before Arnold SPERMINATED her, and a year before she gave birth to his child. --We also have shots of her during the pregnancy. (--Check 'em all out here.) (Both sets are from TMZ. You can find them here and here.)

Patrick Schwarzenegger Now Calls Himself Patrick SHRIVER On Twitter:

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S 17-year-old son PATRICK made a bit of a statement on Twitter yesterday . . . by changing his name to Patrick SHRIVER. --It should be noted, however, that his Twitter handle is still @PSchwarzenegger . . . for whatever that's worth.
Random Arnold:

#1.) Here it comes: MARIA SHRIVER has hired a divorce attorney. She's a pretty famous celebrity divorce lawyer by the name of Laura Wasser. Maria actually hired her sometime after she found out about her husband's love child, but before the news went public. (Full Story)

#2.) Here's the obligatory Taiwanese animated version of the Arnold scandal. This one has a live-action intro featuring a very sexy Asian minx. (--CAREFUL! She drops the S-word at the 25 second mark. The animation starts at 0:36.)

#3.) Three years before Arnold nailed the housekeeper, he danced with her during a party at his house. (Photo)

#4.) Here's a picture of Arnold posing in front of a Christmas tree with his mistress and his LEGITIMATE son Christopher. It was taken sometime around the year 2000. (Photo)

#5.) A reporter who did a piece on Arnold years ago at his home says housekeeper Mildred "Patty" Baena was well-endowed, but not a very good cook. (Full Story)

#6.) says DVD sales of "Terminator 2" are up 169% since Arnold's sex scandal broke. (Full Story)

Lady Gaga Has Unseated Oprah at the Top of the Celebrity 100 Power List:

LADY GAGA is officially more powerful than OPRAH WINFREY. At least that's what "Forbes" magazine says in its annual Celebrity 100 power list. --While Oprah made more money over the past year . . . $290 million to $90 million . . . the Celebrity 100 list looks at other factors as well . . . like a star's overall influence and media exposure. And Gaga pretty much reigns supreme there. --She's got more than 10 million Twitter followers and 32 million Facebook fans . . . and she sold 1 million digital downloads of her single "Born This Way" in just five days. And let's face it, she's EVERYWHERE. --So Oprah fell to second, and she was followed by the guy who seems to be constantly competing with Gaga in terms of media exposure: JUSTIN BIEBER. Dude made $53 million over the past year, if you can believe that. --He also holds a YouTube record: More than 500 MILLION people have watched his "Baby" video. --Believe it or not, TIGER WOODS is still a power player. He ranks 6th . . . which is down only one spot from last year. --And CHARLIE SHEEN isn't quite losing yet. He's 28th. --BRITNEY SPEARS was a big drop-off this year. After ranking 6th last year, she's nowhere to be found in the 2011 list . . . mainly because she didn't tour. (--She's touring this summer to support her new album, "Femme Fatale", which is already platinum. So she could be back on the list next year.)

#1.) Lady Gaga

#2.) Oprah Winfrey

#3.) Justin Bieber

#4.) U2

#5.) Elton John

#6.) Tiger Woods

#7.) Taylor Swift

#8.) Bon Jovi

#9.) Simon Cowell

#10.) LeBron James

(--Check out the complete Celebrity 100 here.) (--You can also see the celebs ranked by how much money they've made . . . or by any of the individual categories that make up the Celebrity 100 criteria.)

IT'S ON!!!

It's On!!! Between Kirk Cameron and Stephen Hawking Over the Existence . . . or Not . . . of God:

Physicist STEPHEN HAWKING doesn't believe in a higher power. -Just the other day, he said, quote, "I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark." --Well, former "Growing Pains" superstar KIRK CAMERON will NOT LET THAT STAND. Kirk is a very spiritual person. He believes in Heaven. He also believes in Hell. --And he believes those of us who do not follow a righteous path will BURN IN IT. --Learn more about Kirk's beliefs at the website, The Way Of The Master.) --Kirk is NOT happy with Mr. Hawking. He's also disappointed that Hawking is HANDICAPPED, and thus harder to insult without seeming like a bully. --He says, quote, "To say anything negative about Stephen Hawking is like bullying a blind man. He has an unfair disadvantage, and that gives him a free pass on some of his absurd ideas." --He adds, quote, "Professor Hawking is heralded as 'the genius of Britain,' yet he believes in the scientific impossibility that nothing created everything and that life sprang from non-life. --"Why should anyone believe Mr. Hawking's writings if he cannot provide evidence for his unscientific belief that out of nothing, everything came?" --Kirk also drags JOHN LENNON into the argument . . . quote, "[Hawking] says he knows there is no Heaven. John Lennon wasn't sure. He said to pretend there's no Heaven. That's easy if you try. --"Then he said he hoped that someday we would join him. Such wishful thinking reveals John and Stephen's religious beliefs, not good science." --By the way . . . Kirk has an ally in comedian KATT WILLIAMS. --Katt says, quote, "If [Hawking] doesn't believe in God, he's just another crippled guy with a bad idea." (???) (--Here's video of Katt smacking down Hawking . . . and calling Kirk Cameron BRILLIANT.)

Zsa Zsa Gabor Is In a Coma:

ZSA ZSA GABOR has reportedly been in a coma since 2:00 A.M. Wednesday morning. --Zsa Zsa was rushed to the hospital Tuesday night for emergency stomach surgery, after she developed an infection from a feeding tube. --Meanwhile, Zsa Zsa's only child, daughter Francesca Hilton, is being denied visitation by Zsa Zsa's current husband, Prince Frederic von Anhalt. --A rep for Frederic and Zsa Zsa says, quote, "[Francesca] can go on Sundays when the doctor is there so there is no funny business." (--No idea what that means . . . but we do know Francesca and Frederic pretty much hate each other.)

Jeff Conaway Is In Critical Condition After an Apparent Overdose:

"Grease" star and "Celebrity Rehab" victim JEFF CONAWAY is in critical condition after overdosing on painkillers. --Conaway . . . who's 60 years old . . . is unconscious and suffering from pneumonia. He's been hospitalized for about a week, and it doesn't look good. --Jeff's manager says, quote, "A friend went to look for him because he wasn't responding to messages. --"We hope and pray, but doctor aren't optimistic. These could be his final moments. He slightly moved his head three days ago but since, there's been no sign he'll recover." --Conaway has been battling an addiction to cocaine, alcohol and painkillers for years. --Conaway played John Travolta's buddy Kenickie in "Grease" . . . and Bobby Wheeler on the sitcom "Taxi", which ran from 1978 to 1983. --More recently, that hack DR. DREW has been exploiting him for "Celebrity Rehab" ratings. --In January of 2010, Conaway fell down some stairs and broke his hip and arm, fractured his neck and suffered a brain hemorrhage.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Want to Work Together Again:

The last time BRAD PITT and ANGELINA JOLIE worked together, it was bad news for JENNIFER ANISTON. And now, they want to do it again. --Brad says, quote, "We're not ones to repeat ourselves, but we'd like to, because right now, we're hopscotching with films so one can be with the kids and one's free to work. --"And why aren't we doing them together? Why aren't we doing everything together?" (--Brad and Angelina met . . . and fell in love . . . on the set of the 2005 flick "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". Brad was still married to Jennifer at the time.) --Brad also spoke about the CHAOS of having a household with six kids . . . and how much he loves it. --He says, quote, "I had a friend who had a big family when I was a kid. I just loved the chaos around the breakfast table and the fighting and the ribbing, and the mom making pancakes for everyone or the dad making pancakes. --"I just decided then if I was ever going to do it . . . this left some indelible mark on me . . . if I was ever going to do it, that's the way I was going to do it."

Did Angelina Jolie Flip Out Because Brad Pitt Interviewed a Potential Nanny Who Looked Just Like Jennifer Aniston?

The story you are about to hear is not true. But it's so much fun, I have chosen to believe it anyway. --The "Star" tabloid says that ANGELINA JOLIE flipped out on BRAD PITT after she found out that he interviewed a potential nanny without her . . . and she was a dead ringer for JENNIFER ANISTON. --A source says, quote, "When Angie found out, she absolutely lost it, and the two had a horrible fight the day after Mother's Day. She is livid; she feels lied to and deceived." --The source adds that Angelina hates the idea of having blonde nannies, because they would remind her . . . and presumably Brad, too . . . of Jennifer and his other famous ex, GWYNETH PALTROW. --She also recently vetoed an applicant who, quote, "has a degree in child development, speaks three languages and knows how to box." Why? Because she's, quote, "24 years old, shapely and adorable."


The Fourth "Pirates of the Caribbean" Won't Have Any Real Competition When it Hits Theaters Tomorrow:

#1.) "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" (PG-13)

Johnny Depp and Geoffrey Rush are back as Jack Sparrow and Barbosa, with Penelope Cruz joining the cast as Jack Sparrow's love interest on a quest to find the Fountain of Youth. (--Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley aren't in this one.) --"Deadwood's" Ian McShane is Blackbeard: He can resurrect the dead, sails a ship full of zombies, and plans to sacrifice a mermaid to activate the Fountain of Youth. (Trailer #1) (Trailer #2)

#2.) "Bloodworth" (R) (Limited)

Kris Kristofferson plays a guy who abandoned his wife and sons 40 years earlier, and is trying to connect with the grandson he never knew. Dwight Yoakam and Val Kilmer play his sons, and Hilary Duff is the grandson's girlfriend. (Trailer)

#3.) "Midnight in Paris" (PG-13) (Limited)

A Woody Allen comedy starring Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams. Owen becomes addicted to the Paris night-life, but keeps it a secret from his fiancé. Kathy Bates, Adrien Brody, and hot French First Lady Carla Bruni are in it too. Rachel and Michael Sheen are dating now, after meeting on the set of this film. (Trailer)

#4.) "Hard Breakers" (R) (Limited)

Sophie Monk and Cameron Richardson take their pent-up sexual frustration out on unsuspecting men . . . who they knock out, drag home, and have their way with. It also stars Tia Carrere, Tom Arnold, and Chris Kattan. (Trailer)
Demi Moore Will Play a Cougar In a Movie Based on Channing Tatum's Stripping Days:

In the late 1990s, before he got his big break in Hollywood, CHANNING TATUM did some EXOTIC DANCING. That's right, he was a MALE STRIPPER. He was 19 at the time. --Well, there's a movie in the works about his experiences. It's called "Magic Mike", and it stars ALEX PETTYFER . . . (--From "I Am Number Four" and "Beastly") . . . as Channing. --Channing himself is in the cast as the title character, who was Channing's mentor. --And now, DEMI MOORE has joined the cast as a COUGAR who sinks her claws into the Channing character. (--Demi played a stripper herself once . . . in the 1996 "classic" "Striptease".)

Check Out Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in "Transformers: Dark of the Moon":

Still not sure if ROSIE HUNTINGTON-WHITELEY is a suitable replacement for MEGAN FOX in the "Transformers" movies? E! Online posted a clip from the new movie featuring Rosie, SHIA LABEOUF and PATRICK DEMPSEY. --Rosie looks insanely hot and does minimal acting . . . which is basically what they hired her for. (--Check out the clip here.)


CBS Has Announced Their New Shows for the 2011-2012 Season:

This week, all the major networks are unveiling their schedules for next season. --CBS revealed their plans yesterday, which include six new shows . . . four dramas and two sitcoms. Here's a quick rundown of the new stuff: --"Unforgettable": A police drama starring former "Without a Trace" minx Poppy Montgomery as a detective, who has "a rare condition that makes her memory so flawless that every place, every conversation . . . is forever embedded in her mind." --So what's the catch? There's one thing she can't remember: The details that she needs to solve her sister's murder. Sure, it sounds a little silly . . . but CBS can make any crime procedural a hit. So this thing could be big. Plus she's hot. --"Person of Interest": A crime thriller . . . no surprise there . . . about a former CIA agent, who's presumed dead, and then teams up with a mysterious billionaire to "prevent violent crimes by using their own brand of vigilante justice." --Michael Emerson, who played Ben on "Lost", is the billionaire. It also stars "Passion of the Christ" stud Jim Caviezel and Taraji P. Henson from "Hustle & Flow" and "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button". --"The 2-2": A police drama . . . notice a trend here? . . . about six rookie cops who patrol upper Manhattan. Robert De Niro is one of the executive producers. --Just for kicks, here are the character types for the six rookie cops: (1) A former police news reporter with a lot of "sources" . . . (2) a man who comes from a family of police officers . . . (3) a woman who comes from a family of criminals . . . --(4) An Afghani native "who fought his way to freedom" . . . (5) a former NBA star . . . and (6) a former college volleyball player. (???) (--Man, the hijinx write themselves!) --"A Gifted Man": A non-police drama about a "brilliant, charismatic surgeon whose life changes forever when his deceased ex-wife begins teaching him the meaning of life from the 'hereafter.'" Yeah, he talks to his dead wife. --It stars Patrick Wilson, who played Agent Lynch in "The A-Team" movie. (--PHONE STARTER: Not that anything on CBS' schedule is wholly realistic, but would you let a doctor that talks to his dead wife operate on you? Would it even make a difference if he was "brilliant and charismatic"???) --"2 Broke Girls": A sitcom about two young girls who are waitresses at a diner. One is "street-wise" and poor the other is "sophisticated" and rich. The "street-wise" girl is being played by Kat Dennings. --"How to Be a Gentleman": A sitcom about two guys, which CBS describes as, quote, "the unlikely friendship between a traditional, refined writer and an unrefined personal trainer." Former "Entourage" star Kevin Dillon is the personal trainer. (--Previews for all the shows . . . except "The 2-2" . . . are available, here.)

CBS' Cancellations and Renewals:

CBS announced their cancellations earlier this week. Here they are again:

--"[Bleep] My Dad Says", "The Defenders", "Mad Love" and the "Criminal Minds" spin-off "Suspect Behavior".

--The shows they ARE bringing back include:

--"NCIS", "NCIS: Los Angeles", "The Mentalist", "Hawaii Five-0", "Criminal Minds", "CSI", "CSI: Miami", "CSI: New York", "Blue Bloods", "The Good Wife", "60 Minutes", "Survivor", "The Amazing Race" . . . --"The Big Bang Theory", "How I Met Your Mother", "Rules of Engagement", "Mike & Molly", and of course "Two and a Half Men" . . . with ASHTON KUTCHER and without CHARLIE SHEEN.

Ashton Kutcher Says Landing the "Two and a Half Men" Gig Is Like Winning the Lottery:

Of course, CBS spent some time talking about "Two and a Half Men" at their schedule presentation yesterday . . . and they even had ASHTON KUTCHER, JON CRYER and ANGUS T. JONES in attendance. --Several CBS execs talked about how "thrilled" they are to have Ashton, but they wouldn't reveal how the show plans on dismissing CHARLIE SHEEN'S character, and introducing Ashton's character. (--There aren't any details on his role yet.)--Ashton told reporters that he "could not be more excited" to join "Two and a Half Men". He added, quote, "I've never probably in my 13 years in show business received more phone calls and emails from people congratulating me on this job. --"You'd almost think I won the lottery or something, which I kind of did. I've got the best job in show business, and I am ecstatic about that." --Ashton's right . . . he DID kind of win the lottery. He's reportedly pulling down somewhere around $1 million per episode. (--Although it could be less than that. Charlie was making about $2 million an episode at the end of his run.) (--Here are some pictures of Ashton with his new co-stars, Jon and Angus.)

The Preliminary Fall TV Schedule, Across the Main Four Networks:

Are you already thinking about programming your DVR for next fall? If so, "Entertainment Weekly" just did you a solid. They've put together a preliminary fall TV schedule, which compares the new ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox schedules. (--Check it out, here. The CW was left out . . . as least as of late last night . . . because they won't be revealing their schedule until later today.)

TNT and TBS Have Announced Some Stuff, Too:

TNT and TBS have announced some of their upcoming shows. Here are a few highlights: -TNT officially confirmed a spin-off of KYRA SEDGWICK'S "The Closer". The new show "Major Crimes" will star MARY MCDONNELL, who's had a recurring role on "The Closer" for the past two seasons. (--Mary's career also includes playing President Laura Roslin on "Battlestar Galactica" . . . and having sex with Kevin Costner in "Dances with Wolves".) -"Major Crimes" won't premiere until sometime late NEXT year . . . after the final season of "The Closer" wraps. --TBS has a comedy in the works called "The Wedding Band", which stars Brian Austin Green . . . Harold Perrineau, who played Michael on "Lost" . . . and Melora Hardin, a.k.a. Jan from "The Office". It'll premiere NEXT summer. (--And there's so much more! Huge TBS and TNT fans . . . not just the "fair-weather" types who are just there for "Conan" and "Law & Order" repeats . . . can find a comprehensive breakdown, here. Have at it, kids!)

Karate Kid Is Whining About the "Dancing with the Stars" Judges:

If there's one thing the "Dancing with the Stars" judges hang their hats on, it's definitely the serious, constructive criticism they offer the "stars." --And if there's one thing that the "stars" do the show for, it's the priceless, weekly feedback they're getting from BRUNO TONIOLI, LEN GOODMAN and CARRIE ANN INABA. --But RALPH MACCHIO, who was eliminated this week, felt a little short-changed by the judges . . . and whined about it to the media. --Ralph said he "felt circled as the one [contestant] that didn't get praise and built-up like the others did." He said he "felt like the playing field wasn't level for some reason" and that he "had a feeling" he'd be booted. --He added that the judges' comments to him this week were, quote, "rude and disrespectful." Ralph came away with the lowest scores of the night. --Bruno had to be censored while making his remarks . . . because he used the P-WORD . . . (--The one that rhymes with WUSSY) . . . to describe Ralph's partner Karina Smirnoff . . . who was wearing a ridiculously sexy catsuit. (--Here's video of Ralph's dance with the judges' comments he's talking about. Skip to the 5:00 mark.)

Thursday TV Reminders: (--Check your local listings.)

--"NBA Playoffs: Mavericks vs. Thunder" [Western Conference Finals] . . . 9:00 to 11:30 P.M. ET on ESPN. (--The Dallas Mavericks host the Oklahoma City Thunder.)

--"American Idol" [Results Show] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. (--Guest performers are Nicole Scherzinger, 50 Cent, and the Italian trio Il Volo.)

--"The Big Bang Theory" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 8:30 P.M. on CBS.

--"Rules of Engagement" [5th Season Finale] . . . 8:30 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS.

--"Wipeout" [4th Season Finale] . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on ABC.

--"The Office" [7th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on NBC. (--Jim Carrey, Will Arnett, James Spader, Ray Romano, and Ricky Gervais guest star.)

--"Grey's Anatomy" [7th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC.

--"Bones" [6th Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on Fox.

--"The Mentalist" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 9:00 to 11:00 P.M. on CBS.

--"Private Practice" [4th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on ABC. (--Benjamin Bratt joins the cast as Addison's newest admirer.)

--"Parks & Recreation" [3rd Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on NBC.

--"Randy Jackson Presents: America's Best Dance Crew" . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on MTV. (--Nicki Minaj delivers challenges to the four remaining crews.)

(NC-17) Scott Weiland's Memoir Includes Revelations About Being Raped as a Child, and Being Kicked Out of Velvet Revolver:

STONE TEMPLE PILOTS singer SCOTT WEILAND put out a memoir called "Not Dead & Not for Sale" on Wednesday, and it contains some interesting revelations. --For one, Scott reveals that an older kid sexually abused him when he was 12 years old. He explains, quote, "[A] big muscular guy, a high school senior . . . [who] rode the bus with me every day to school . . . invited me to his house. --"The dude raped me. It was quick, not pleasant. I was too scared to tell anyone. 'Tell anyone,' he warned, 'and you'll never have another friend in this school. I'll ruin your [effin'] reputation.' --"This is a memory I suppressed until only a few years ago when, in rehab, it came flooding back. Therapy will do that to you." --Scott also talks about being kicked out of VELVET REVOLVER after relapsing, and admits that he was surprised that the guys reacted so harshly. --He says, quote, "A single line of coke in England did the trick. I snorted it. And soon the demons were back. Thus began another decline . . . I was out there again, going to dangerous places to buy substances. --"When I told the guys that we'd have to miss a couple of gigs because I needed treatment, their reaction shocked me. They told me I'd have to pay them for those cancellations . . . in full. --"I reminded them that when they had relapsed and needed rehab, I had supported them completely. It made no difference to them . . . it didn't matter that Velvet Revolver had sold some five or six million records. I was out."

Stone Sour's Drummer Has Suffered a Stroke:

STONE SOUR canceled the remaining dates on its tour after drummer ROY MAYORGA suffered a, quote, "minor stroke." It's unclear what happened, but it sounds like he's going to be OK. --The band released a statement saying, quote, "He's doing great and is expected to make a 100% recovery. We apologize to all the fans and look forward to getting back out on the road with Roy in the coming months." In all, five shows were canceled.

Joe Perry Says Aerosmith Is Not Performing on "American Idol":

What's it going to take for AEROSMITH to get on the same page? STEVEN TYLER recently said that the band would be performing on the season finale of "Idol", but guitarist JOE PERRY says it's NOT happening . . . at least not this season. --Joe says he's looking forward to recording with Aerosmith this summer . . . and that he'd like to perform on "Idol" NEXT season, when they have a new album to promote.

Adele Remains Untouchable on the "Billboard" Chart:

ADELE'S reign at #1 continues. She just sold another 156,000 copies of "21" to hold onto the top spot on the "Billboard" chart for another week. The latest "Now!" disc was a distant 2nd with 68,000 copies. --This week's highest debut comes from The Lonely Island, the comedy troupe made up of Andy Samberg, Akiva Schaffer and Jorma Taccone. Their disc "Turtleneck & Chain" sold 68,000 copies to debut at #3. Here's the rest of the Top 10 . . .

50 Cent's Next Blockbuster Role: A Blind DJ:

Fresh off his role as a high school football player with cancer in "Things Fall Apart", 50 CENT will play a BLIND DJ in a supernatural thriller called "Odd Thomas". --The movie is an adaptation of a Dean Koontz novel . . . and will also star Willem Dafoe, Patton Oswalt and possibly Tim Robbins, although he isn't official yet. --"Variety" reports that 50's character Shamus Cocobolo, is "a blind DJ who helps uncover a Satanic cult."


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

HALEY REINHART fell on "American Idol" last night while performing LED ZEPPELIN'S "What Is and What Should Never Be". She missed a few words but recovered quickly and finished strong. Her dad was onstage playing guitar for her. (Full Story)

RACHEL MCADAMS and MICHAEL SHEEN are officially dating. They met on the set of WOODY ALLEN'S latest film, "Midnight in Paris". (Full Story)

Director LARS VON TRIER caused some controversy during a press conference at the Cannes Film Festival, when he joked that he's a Nazi and that he, quote, "understand[s] Hitler" and "sympathize[s] with him a little bit." (Full Story) (--He later apologized.)

The ridiculous hat that PRINCESS BEATRICE wore to the Royal Wedding is being auctioned off for charity . . . and as of last night, the bidding was over $32,000. (Ebay)

A couple who got themselves a new house on "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" two years ago may have faked their kids' illnesses. (Full Story)

Sources say "Bachelor" couple BRAD WOMACK and EMILY MAYNARD are definitely over . . . but Brad keeps drunk-dialing her. A friend says, quote, "Brad is such a loser." (Full Story)

BEYONCE has released her new video, "Run the World (Girls)". (Video)

Former "Real Housewives of New Jersey" skank DANIELLE STAUB has quit stripping, and is now seeking help for low self-esteem brought on by childhood sexual abuse. (Full Story)

BAD RELIGION singer GREG GRAFFIN will teach evolution at Cornell University in Ithaca, New York this fall. Graffin got his PhD in zoology from Cornell, which is an Ivy League school. (Full Story)

Humans Walk Upright Because It's Easier For Men To Fight Over Women That Way:

Here's more proof that everything men do is somehow related to sex. --Researchers at the University of Utah believe they've figured out why humans transitioned from walking on all fours to walking on two feet. And it has to do with . . . guys fighting over women. --The researchers say that early humans realized that punches were more powerful when you're on two feet than when you start from all fours. So men who stood up in fights had the advantage and would get to have more sex. --Then, as a result of natural selection, humans started walking on two legs more and more, and evolved until it was the only way. (io9)

Check Out Photos and Video of a Woman In a Wedding Dress Being Saved After a Suicide Attempt . . . Because Her Groom Married Someone Else:

There are some crazy photos and a video online of a 22-year-old woman in Changchun, China. Apparently, a few days before her wedding, her groom-to-be ran off and married someone else. And she was DEVASTATED. --The photos and video are from when she threatened to KILL HERSELF by jumping out a window in her wedding dress. Thankfully, a local official stepped in, grabbed her, and saved her. (MSNBC) (--Check the photos and video.)

Your Obsession with Facebook Is Costing Your Company $10,790 Per Year:

Hope the status update you're going to post from work today is worth it. Because your obsession with Facebook is KILLING AMERICAN BUSINESS. --According to a new survey, the average employee's social networking costs their company $10,790 a year in lost productivity. --So a 1,000-person company is losing more than $10 MILLION annually because of Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and the rest. --The average worker surveyed said they never go more than 15 minutes at work without an interruption . . . both work-related ones like emails and calls, and non-work-related ones like web surfing and Facebook updating. --The general ratio is about 60-40 electronic distractions to more traditional distractions. --Two-thirds of workers say they've read emails, tweeted, or checked Facebook during a meeting. (Arizona Republic)

A Teenager Posted on Facebook That Bin Laden's Death Could Lead to an Attack on Obama . . . So the Secret Service Showed Up at His School?

Last week, 13-year-old Vito LaPinta of Tacoma, Washington, posted a Facebook status update, and he says he was warning PRESIDENT OBAMA that al Qaeda might try to retaliate for OSAMA BIN LADEN'S death. --Because he's a kid and kids don't really think, Vito phrased the status update almost like a threat. The entire post hasn't been released but it contained the phrase, quote, "First order, suicide bomb Obama. Suck it!" --A few days later, Vito was surprised when he was called to the principal's office . . . because the SECRET SERVICE had showed up at his junior high. Yeah . . . in case you were wondering, they still take every threat against the president 100% seriously. --An agent interviewed Vito in the principal's office for about 10 minutes and decided that the kid wasn't a threat, he just had horrible judgment. --Vito's mom is outraged, of course. Her outrage seems to be focused on the fact that she wasn't present when her son was questioned. --The U.S. Attorney's office says that government agents can interview a minor without a parent's knowledge or consent if it's an issue related to national security. The kid can take the 5th or demand a lawyer . . . if he knows to do that. (FOX 13 - Seattle)

Could the Internet Kill Snow Days?

Snow days are some of the greatest days in a kid's life. So naturally, The Man is trying to get rid of them. --This year, more and more schools started experimenting with "virtual" days when it was too snowy to safely get kids to school. Teachers broadcasted their lessons online and their students were required to watch and participate. --By holding virtual lessons, the schools don't have to make up the missed school days at the end of the year. --Josie Holford is the head of the Poughkeepsie Day School in New York. They're moving to virtual days when it snows because, quote, "Learning isn't confined anymore. Why should a snow day stop the progress of learning?" (San Francisco Chronicle)

The FDA Has Released New Guidelines For Exactly How Many Maggots, Insect Parts, and Rat Droppings Can Be In Your Food:

The FDA just released new guidelines for how much NASTY stuff can be in the food you buy, and it covers mold, rat poop, insect parts, and maggots. And, spoiler alert: The answer is not NONE. --Here are a few examples that may make you stop eating for a while . . .

--Canned and dried mushrooms. Must have under 20 maggots of any size per 100 grams of canned mushrooms, or 15 grams of dried mushrooms.

--Popcorn. Must have less than two rodent hairs in more than half of the subsamples. Also, must have no more than one piece of rat excrement in the subsamples.

--Asparagus. Less than 10% of the spears or pieces can be infested with beetle eggs or sacs.

--Fig paste. Must have fewer than 13 insect heads per 100 grams.

--Canned and frozen peaches. Must have no more than one larvae or larval fragment over five millimeters per 12 one-pound cans.

--Pizza sauce. Must have no more than 30 fly eggs or two maggots per 100 grams.

(--Check out all the food guidelines here. Enjoy!) (FDA)


Police Catch a Man With Child Pornography When He Mentions It On . . . His Application to Be a Cop:

If only all a-holes were this stupid, we could get them off the streets so much quicker. --A man named Robert Williams of Chula Vista, California was applying to be a cop with the San Diego Police Department. On the application form, they ask a bunch of "have you committed a crime" type questions. --One of the questions they ask is if you've ever had sexual contact with a child. Another asks if you've ever viewed child pornography. And Williams answered YES to both those questions. --Obviously that was a GIANT red flag for the San Diego police. They started investigating and interviewed some of Williams' friends, who admitted he had child pornography. --So instead of hiring him to be a cop . . . they seized his computer and arrested him. --Williams says he's innocent. First of all, he says the cops TRICKED HIM into admitting to having child pornography, so they obtained that information illegally. --And second, he says when he said he'd had sexual contact with a child, he meant when he was a child too, not when he was an adult. --He's still locked up right now. (ABC 10 - San Diego)

A Man Is Arrested For Secretly Videotaping Women in a Starbucks Bathroom:

This is just a reminder that cameras are smaller than ever, and perverts are taking more risks than ever . . . so you should really be suspicious EVERYWHERE. --25-year-old William Zafra Velasco of San Dimas, California, has been arrested for secretly videotaping more than 40 women using the restroom in a Starbucks. --Apparently, he hid a tiny camera inside a fake plastic coat hook, and attached it to the wall of the bathroom. Then he'd sit outside in his car and download the footage . . . using the Wi-Fi from Starbucks to do it. --Fortunately, an employee found the camera after it had been up for a few days. And none of the videos were uploaded anywhere online. Velasco is facing felony charges for secretly videotaping victims for sexual gratification. (CW 5 - Los Angeles)

The Border Patrol Seized 3,000 Pounds of Reefer Inside a Dish Network Truck:

Dish Network isn't all that popular . . . so maybe the Border Patrol got suspicious when they saw this Dish Network truck actually making a lot of stops. --Last month, U.S. Border Patrol agents near Rio Grande City, Texas stopped a HUGE reefer shipment when they found 3,000 POUNDS of marijuana inside a fake Dish Network truck. --Agents have been looking out for these types of "cloned vehicles", which are apparently the hot new way for Mexican cartels to smuggle drugs across the border. (FOX 7 - Austin)
A Guy Called 911 17 Times with Fake Illnesses . . . So He Could Buy Drugs Near the Hospital:

This is a horrible misuse of 911, and who knows how many lives it put in danger. But all things considered, it's a pretty clever scheme for a drug addict. --44-year-old Devin Henson of Chesapeake City, Maryland doesn't have a car, so he can't drive to his drug dealer. --Instead, he calls 911 . . . reports a fake illness . . . has an ambulance take him to a hospital in Elkton, Maryland . . . then leaves the hospital and walks to the area nearby where his dealer hangs out. --Devin pulled it off 16 TIMES this year, and was finally caught the 17th time. He's been charged with false alarm, harassment, and telephone misuse. (Greenfield Reporter)

A Mother Is Arrested For Running Over Her Daughter in a Walmart Parking Lot:

Earlier this week, Michelle Touma got in a fight with her 19-year-old daughter Emily while they were shopping at a Walmart in Sandusky, Ohio. She finally told Emily to get out of the car when they were in the parking lot. -Emily smacked the hood of the car after getting out, and Michelle responded by hitting the gas and RUNNING INTO HER DAUGHTER. Michelle says it was an accident, and her plan was just to drive by close enough to smack Emily in the head. --Unfortunately, she clipped her and ran over her foot. Emily was treated for an ankle injury, and Michelle was arrested for aggravated vehicular assault. (ABC 13 - Toledo) (--Here's a surveillance video from the Walmart parking lot.)

Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Website of the Day Part One: Are these the 100 worst high school senior portraits of all time? (Full Story)

Website of the Day Part Two: The Cosby Sweater Project . . . an online archive of every ugly sweater worn on the show in chronological order. (Full Story)

Guys, if you felt left out of the 'vajazzling craze' . . . where women applied sequins to their junk . . . there's a version for you too. It's . . . pejazzling. (Full Story)

The city with the highest average credit score is . . . Green Bay, Wisconsin. It's followed by Madison, Wisconsin . . . Minneapolis, Minnesota . . . San Francisco . . . and Boston. (Full Story)

One out of every 14 programs downloaded by Microsoft users is malicious. And that's according to Microsoft. (Full Story)

A gas station in L.A. accidentally priced their gas at $1.10 a gallon on Sunday because of a glitch . . . and lost $21,000 in four hours after a long line of customers formed.
(Full Story)

Check out the most sleepless cities in America, based on insomnia rates. Charleston, West Virginia is number 1, followed by Mount Vernon, Illinois . . . Dayton, Ohio . . . Springfield, Missouri . . . and Lexington, Kentucky. (Full Story)

#1.) Gwyneth Paltrow Rapped the First Verse of NWA's "Gangsta Gangsta" on a British Talk Show:

GWYNETH PALTROW was on the "Graham Norton Show" in England last week, and when he asked about her love of '90s hip hop, she rapped the first verse of the NWA song, "Gangsta Gangsta". (--Which is actually from 1988.) (--Search on YouTube for "Gwyneth Paltrow Raps Straight Outta Compton." She starts rapping at :53.)

#2.) Is This Dr. Dre as a Kid, on the Game Show "Child's Play"?

There's a video going around that supposedly shows DR. DRE as a cute little kid, being interviewed on the game show "Child's Play" by host Bill Cullen. --The kid definitely looks like a young Dre, and the video shows him talking about how good looking he is . . . how he has three girlfriends who are all older . . . and how older women are more mature and have more money. --All of which would be great if it was Dre. . . . but it's not. It's a different kid, and people noticed it was a hoax because "Child's Play" didn't debut until 1982, and Dre was born in 1965. So the kid is too young to be him. (--Search for "Dr. Dre When He Was Little" for the fake, and "TV's Funniest Game Show Moments: Child's Play" for the real context.)

#3.) Mike Tyson Showed Off Some Ridiculous Moves on Argentina's Version of "Dancing With the Stars":

If you wanted to see MIKE TYSON dance around like an idiot again, you'll be happy to hear that he appeared on Argentina's version of "Dancing With the Stars" on Tuesday, and showed off some ridiculous moves. --It wasn't Tyson's first time dancing on TV though. He appeared on the Italian version of "Dancing With the Stars" last year. (--Search YouTube for "Mike Tyson baila Pop Latino." Their routine starts at :34. There was also his sweet Bobby Brown spoof last September.)

#4.) A Gay Activist Dumped Glitter on Newt Gingrich and Told Him to "Feel the Rainbow":

NEWT GINGRICH has had a rough week: Democrats said he was racist for calling Obama a "food stamp president" . . . Republicans are mad at him for going after Congressman Paul Ryan's Medicare plan . . . and now he's been GLITTER-BOMBED. --During a book signing in Minneapolis on Tuesday, a gay activist named Robert Erickson dumped a box of glitter on Newt and his wife Callista, and yelled, quote, "Feel the rainbow, Newt! Stop the hate! Stop anti-gay politics!" --He was immediately taken away by security, yelling, "It's dividing our country and it's not fixing our economy. Do it like a man." --Newt's response was kinda funny. First his wife said, quote, "That was fun." Then Newt laughed, started brushing up the glitter, and said, quote, "Nice to live in a free country." (--Search YouTube for "Newt Gingrich Hit With Glitter.")

Four Things That Slow Down Your Wi-Fi Speed:

According to a study done in the U.K., consumers lose an average of 30% of their data speed when they use their Wi-Fi connection at home. --Obviously, if you don't protect your network with a password, your neighbors can use your Wi-Fi, which slows it down a lot. But even if you have a password, some things in your home might be affecting your speed. Here are the top four.

#1.) Other Nearby Wi-Fi Networks. According to a manager at Belkin, it's the biggest thing that slows down your Wi-Fi because basically everyone's wireless network operates on a 2.4 gigahertz band. --Think of it this way: If you live in an apartment building, the 2.4 gig band is like a three-lane highway that's packed bumper-to-bumper. --The best solution is to buy a dual-band router, which operates simultaneously at 2.4 gigahertz and 5 gigahertz. And the 5 gigahertz band is like an 11-lane highway that no one's heard about yet.

#2.) Household Electronics. Some cordless phones, baby monitors, and even microwaves also operate at 2.4 gigahertz, and they can slow down your Wi-Fi too. --But most baby monitors operate at 900 megahertz, which won't interfere. And newer cordless phones run at 1.9 gigahertz. So if you have older models, you might want to replace them.

#3.) Bluetooth Devices. But only if they're old. The newer models are specially designed so they don't interfere with your wireless network.

#4.) Humans. This sounds strange, but water in the air interferes with your Wi-Fi signal. So high humidity can slow it down. And since people are about 75% water, your network will run slower when a bunch of people are in the room. --It's not significant enough to cause a major problem, so you don't really need to worry about it. But it's an interesting piece of trivia you can lay on your nerdy tech friends. (PCWorld)


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