Tuesday, November 1, 2011



Kim Kardashian Has Filed for Divorce from Kris Humphries:

Sometimes the tabloids have it SPOT-ON. And whoever reported that there was already trouble in the marriage of KIM KARDASHIAN and KRIS HUMPHRIES falls into that category. --Because Kim filed for DIVORCE yesterday . . . after 72 days of wedded bliss. --Her petition cites "irreconcilable differences". It also notes that Kim and Kris had a prenup, and asks that Kris be denied spousal support. (--You can read the divorce petition here.) (--The Kardashians raked in $65 million in 2010. Kris makes about $3.2 million a year playing for the New Jersey Nets. Of course he'll make less this year thanks to the NBA lockout.) --Kim issued a statement saying, quote, "I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don't work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best." --Need a reason for the split? There are about a million of 'em floating around online. One thing we can say with almost complete certainty is that Kim and Kris jumped into this way too soon. --RYAN SEACREST . . . who produces all the Kardashian reality drivel for E! . . . even said, quote, "I've spoken to Kim briefly and she says she's sad and got caught up in all that was going on." --It sounds like Kim is admitting she made a mistake. Although she'd probably never admit she only got married because she wanted to be the center of attention in a humongous fairytale wedding on national TV. --Still, Kris isn't willing to walk away just yet. In fact, he had NO IDEA this was coming. He issued a statement saying, quote, "I'm committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. --"I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce . . . I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it work." --This was Kim's SECOND marriage. She was married to a music producer named Damon Thomas from 2000 to 2004 . . . back before she was famous. --Kim is currently on her way to Australia to launch her handbag line . . . then she heads to Atlanta to film that very aptly-named TYLER PERRY movie, "The Marriage Counselor". (--Here's an interesting stat for you: Kim and Kris' wedding cost $20 million. There were 72 days from the day they said "I do" until the day of their separation . . . which is listed as YESTERDAY.) (--That averages out to $277,777.77 a day.) --Here's a potential upside to this divorce: Executives at E! are considering yanking Kim and Kris' wedding special . . . which they've been repeating pretty regularly since it first aired October 9th. (--Kim was spotted heading to LAX for her trip to Australia WITHOUT her wedding ring. Meanwhile, Kris is in his home state of Minnesota, and as of yesterday, he was still wearing his. Here's a picture.) (Life And Style)

Kelly Ripa and Nick Lachey Dressed Like Kim and Kris on "Live" Yesterday:

Here's some interesting timing for you: Yesterday on "Live", KELLY RIPA and guest host NICK LACHEY dressed as KIM KARDASHIAN and KRIS HUMPHRIES on their wedding day. --Obviously, they had no idea Kim's divorce announcement was coming. Nick is only 5'9" and Kris Humphries is 6'9", so Nick wore stilts help him to tower over Kelly. (--Here's a picture.) (E! Online) (--And you can see video at AOLTV.)

Other Short Showbiz Marriages:

72 days is bad, but it's nowhere near a record when it comes to short celebrity marriages. Here's a list of other brief showbiz unions . . . some of which were indeed shorter than that of KIM KARDASHIAN and KRIS HUMPHRIES.

--Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson, 4 months

--Britney Spears and Jason Alexander, 2 days (--55 hours, to be exact.)

--Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray, 5 months

--Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman, 6 days

--Mario Lopez and Ali Landry, 2 weeks

--Charlie Sheen and Donna Peele, 5 months

--Chris Kattan and Sunshine Tutt, 8 weeks

--Colin Farrell and Amelia Warner, 4 months

--Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd, 4 months

--Drew Barrymore and Tom Green, 5 months

--Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds, 2 weeks

--Helen Hunt and Hank Azaria, 11 months

--Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito, 4 months

--Lisa Marie Presley and Nicolas Cage, 3 months

--Renée Zellweger and Kenny Chesney, 4 months

--Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine, 4 weeks

--Shannen Doherty and Ashley Hamilton, 5 months

(--Check out the list in annoying slideshow format here.)

Jessica Simpson Admits She's Pregnant:

JESSICA SIMPSON finally admitted yesterday that she's pregnant. She Tweeted a picture of herself as a mummy . . . an insanely PREGNANT mummy . . . along with the caption, quote, "It's true . . . I'm going to be a mummy!" --She later posted more pics . . . some of which included her fiancé and baby-daddy ERIC JOHNSON dressed like Celtics legend LARRY BIRD, along with their dog Bentley. (--Here are the pics.) (Pop Sugar)


Check Out More Celebrity Halloween Costumes . . . Including David Spade as the Human Centipede, Arnold Schwarzenegger's Love Child as Conan the Barbarian . . . and Doug Hutchison as His Teenage Wife Courtney Stodden:

We've got more celebrity Halloween costume pics to share with you . . . and they're even BETTER than yesterdays. --One of them is easily the BEST CELEBRITY HALLOWEEN COSTUME EVER . . . It's DAVID SPADE as the HUMAN CENTIPEDE! --We also have what's probably the most shocking costume of the year: ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER'S 14-year-old love child Joseph Baena as Conan the Barbarian. (--And he's with his mom . . . who's NOT dressed up.) --Then there's 51-year-old DOUG HUTCHISON dressed as his 17-year-old wife COURTNEY STODDEN. And he managed to look even less creepy than the real Courtney . . . who seemed to be dressed only as her skeezy self.

--Our gallery also includes:

--The "Today" show weekend team as the Kardashians.

--Melania Trump as a sexy Batgirl.

--Matt Lauer and Anne Curry from "Today" as Prince William and Kate Middleton.

--Sofia Vergara as an Angry Bird. (--Just like Rashida Jones going as a Blow Pop, MEGA props for bucking the sexy / slutty costume trend.)

--Emma Stone as Sally from "Nightmare Before Christmas".

--Jennifer Garner as a very pregnant witch.

--As an added bonus, we have a video of ANDERSON COOPER as PHIL DONAHUE . . . with the REAL Phil Donahue. And the real deal doesn't look or sound much older than he did 20 years ago. He's 75 now. (--Check it out here.)

--And here's a video of JERRY SPRINGER showing up on "Rachael Ray" yesterday as LADY GAGA. (TMZ, TMZ, E! Online, Hollywood Reporter, Daily Beast, Us Weekly, Gossip Center)

Queen Latifah Is Getting Another Talk Show:

QUEEN LATIFAH is getting a new syndicated daytime talk show. For now, all we know is that it isn't expected to premiere until 2013. There's no description of the show yet . . . and Queen Latifah hasn't commented. --This will be her second syndicated talk show. She hosted "The Queen Latifah Show" from September of 1999 until August of 2001.

Tuesday TV Reminders:

--"NCIS" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on CBS. "Mad Men's" Melinda McGraw guest stars as the ex-wife shared by Gibbs and Fornell. She asks for their help when her current husband, a Homeland Security employee, is kidnapped.

--"Glee" . . . 8:00 to 9:00 P.M. on Fox. "Glee Project" winner Damian McGinty makes his first appearance as a foreign exchange student named Rory Flanagan.

--"The New Girl" . . . 9:00 to 9:30 P.M. on Fox. Lake Bell guest stars a coworker who Nick lands a date with . . . until Jess ruins his self-confidence.

--"Dancing with the Stars" [Results Show] . . . 9:00 to 10:00 P.M. on ABC. Music Guests: Justin Bieber, Boyz 2 Men and Christina Perri.

--"The Little Couple" [4th Season Finale] . . . 10:00 to 10:30 P.M. on TLC.

--"Covert Affairs" [2nd Season Premiere] . . . 10:00 to 11:00 P.M. on USA.


"NCIS", "Lord of the Rings", James Bond, NASCAR and Sonic . . . There's Just No Shortage of New Games This Week:

--"Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception" (T) . . . on PS3. For the third game in the "Uncharted" series, Nathan Drake travels to the sand dunes of the Rub' al Khali in search of the "Atlantis of the Sand" using clues from his distant relative Sir Francis Drake, as well as 1900's archeologist T.E. Laurence's research into the Arab world.

Multiplayer features a new Buddy System that lets you join up with a friend to perform duel taunts after killing another player, spawn directly on your buddy after you die, and collect each other's treasures for knocking off other players. (Trailer)

--"The Lord of the Rings: War in the North" (M) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and PC. Build your own co-op fellowship to fight for Middle Earth in a stand-alone story set during the events of the "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy. The three heroes you have to choose from are a human ranger, an elf wizard, and a dwarf warrior. (Trailer)

--"NCIS: The Game" (T) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and Wii. If you've ever wanted to be on the NCIS team, now you get to play as McGee, Gibbs, and Abby to solve crimes in four game episodes that were created by writers of the show. (Trailer)

--"GoldenEye 007: Reloaded" (T) . . . on Xbox360 and PS3. The classic Nintendo 64 shooter has been remade again. One of the new features you get this time around is an Escalation mode in multiplayer, where each time you get a kill your gun changes, and the first person to go through all the guns on the list win. (Trailer)

--"Jimmie Johnson's Anything With An Engine" (E) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and Wii. This cart-style racing game lets you race just about anything, including dumpsters, coffins, nuclear bombs, and recliners. Jimmy Fallon will be the first racer you can download, and the proceeds from those sales go to The Red Cross. (Trailer)

--"NASCAR Unleashed" (E) . . . on Xbox360, PS3, and Wii. This game has all of the famous NASCAR drivers and tracks . . . plus you can hit massive ramps, and take race off the tracks. (Trailer)

--"Sonic Generations" (E) . . . on Xbox360 and PS3. Thanks to the Time Eater, Sonic and his friends have been scattered throughout the entire 20 year history of his existence. Classic levels like the Green Hill Zone and the Chemical Plant have been re-imagined, so you can play using both Classic and Modern Sonic styles. (Trailer) (--You can grab the 3DS version of this game on November 22nd.)

--"MotionSports Adrenaline" (E) . . . on Xbox360 and PS3. If you like extreme sports and motion controlled games this one is for you. Use the Xbox 360's Kinect or the PS3's Move motion controls to master sky diving with a wingsuit, kite surfing, kayaking, rock climbing, skiing, and mountain biking. (Trailer)

--"Cabela's Adventure Camp" (E) . . . on Xbox360 and Wii. Part summer camp, part theme park, you use motion controls to bike, kayak, and target shoot your way through head-to-head competition for a week at camp. (Trailer)

--"Hasbro Family Game Night 4: The Game Show" (E) . . . on Wii. Hasbro has given some of their most popular board games a sports twist in this one. You'll play Connect 4 basketball, Yahtzee! bowling, Sorry! shuffleboard, and many others.

ESRB Game Ratings: (E) for Everyone; (T) for Teen; (M) for Mature (18+)

Video Game Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

#1.) "Grand Theft Auto V" has been officially announced. It will feature multiple playable characters, and take place in Los Angeles.

#2.) If you haven't seen it yet, here's a trailer for the new Weapon Proficiency feature "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3". As part of standard weapon upgrades, they've integrated perks directly into the weapon itself, meaning you can earn additional perks like reduced recoil, deeper impact and quicker melee for your favorite gun. (Trailer) (--"MW3" hits stores next week, on November 8th.)

#3.) "DC Universe" will officially be free to play on November 1st. (Full Story)

#4.) If you pre-order the PlayStation Vita's First Edition bundle you will get it a week earlier than everybody else. The bundle includes the 3G Vita, a limited edition case, a memory card, and the game "Little Deviants". (Full Story)


--"Cars 2" - Lightning goes overseas to compete in a set of races to determine the world's fastest car. His best friend Mater goes with him, and Mater's recruited by a British agent for a top secret mission after being mistaken for an undercover spy.

Owen Wilson is still the voice of Lightning McQueen, Larry the Cable Guy returns as Mater, and that's Michael Caine doing the voice of British spy car Finn McMissile.

--"An Invisible Sign" - Jessica Alba plays a shy math teacher who comes out of her shell when she falls for another teacher at her school. They try to make her look as nerdy and awkward as possible in the trailer . . . but it's still Jessica Alba.

--"Crazy, Stupid, Love" - Steve Carell gets dumped by his cheating wife, and starts taking dating lessons from a guy he meets at a bar, played by Ryan Gosling. The rest of the cast includes Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, Marisa Tomei, and Kevin Bacon.

--"Water for Elephants" - Robert Pattinson joins the circus and falls in love with Reese Witherspoon. She rides horses, he cares for the elephants. Too bad she's married to somebody else.

--"Trespass" - Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman fight back when they're taken hostage during a home invasion robbery by a guy she had an affair with.

TV Series On DVD:

--"Californication: The Fourth Season" . . . a two-disc DVD set.
--"Deadliest Catch: Season 7" . . . a four-disc DVD set.
--"Victorious: Season 1, Volume 2" . . . a two-disc DVD set.
--"Rawhide: The Fourth Season, Volume 2" . . . a four-disc set of the classic Clint Eastwood western. It ran for eight seasons.


--"Under the Mistletoe", the Justin Bieber Christmas album!!! It features his duet with Mariah Carey on "All I Want for Christmas", plus Usher on "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)", Busta Rhymes on "Drummer Boy", The Band Perry on "Home This Christmas", and Boyz II Men on "Fa La La".

--"Ceremonials", the second album by Florence + The Machine

--"The Smile Sessions", The Beach Boys . . . This is a collection of music recorded between 1966 and 1967 for the Beach Boys unreleased "SMiLE" album.

Adele Does Not Have Throat Cancer:

Here's a newsflash for you: Not all medical diagnoses on Twitter are accurate. --Over the weekend, ADELE announced that she was having throat surgery, and apparently, that led to widespread Twitter speculation that she has CANCER. She doesn't . . . although I'm sure she appreciates the sentiment. --Her rep released this statement yesterday: Quote, "We would like to reiterate that Adele is to undergo surgery for a hemorrhaged vocal chord. All reports regarding any other condition are 100% false." --If you really NEED more information, here's a fairly educated description of her condition, from the folks at the Voice Care Center at Duke University. --They say a "hemorrhaged vocal chord" is a serious condition that's caused by bleeding due to swelling of the vocal chords. --If it's left untreated, it COULD result in "scarring of the vocal folds . . . a condition that's much harder to treat and has permanent effects on voice quality." --That's why Adele is clearing her schedule now to take care of this . . . even though she's HUGE right now. (--Figuratively, of course.) Over the weekend, Adele's people said that a "full recovery is expected."

Steve Perry Doesn't Expect a Reunion with Journey:

It's hard to mention JOURNEY without wondering if they'll ever reunite with singer STEVE PERRY. Journey's current singer, Filipino sensation ARNEL PINEDA, is a great replacement . . . but no one is Steve Perry. --Get used to the new Journey though . . . because Steve still isn't interested in dropping whatever it is that he's doing to reunite with the band. --He says, quote, "It's like any emotional, committed relationship. At some point, they seem to all have a shelf life and bands are no exception. Life has moved us all on in different places in our lives. --"They're doing what they're doing . . . [and] they have been since '98. And I've been doing what I'm doing, which is living my life and having a personal life. --"We have severely, emotionally gone our separate ways." -By the way, Steve seems like a downer. In another part of the interview, he talked about how he's struggled with, quote, "a pretty substantial amount of arthritis that's not comfortable" . . . and adds that he "lives on anti-inflammatories." (--Steve is 62 now . . . and I think he really means that stuff about "having a personal life." That's a contrast from guitarist Neal Schon, who's making the tabloids for his affair with White House crasher Michaele Salahi.) (--Steve's got the right idea there. If the most scandalous thing you do all day is forget to switch the "Clean / Dirty" magnet on the dishwasher . . . you're going to get to keep your privacy.)

It's Official: A New Amy Winehouse Album Is Coming Out Next Month:

A new AMY WINEHOUSE album will be released on December 5th. It's called "Lioness: Hidden Treasures" . . . and it'll include "previously unreleased tracks, alternative versions of existing hits and brand new songs." --Posthumous albums always seem like shameless cash grabs . . . and to some extent they are, no matter what the record company says . . . but Island Records says that isn't the case this time. --A label rep says that Amy's musical friends Mark Ronson and Salaam Remi selected the tracks . . . and adds, quote, "[It's] a collection of songs that deserved to be heard, a collection of songs that were a fitting testament to Amy the artist and, as importantly, Amy their friend." --And $1.60 of each album sale will go to the children's charity that was set up in Amy's name after her death. (--$1.60 is equivalent to one British pound. For more info on the tracks that will be on the album, hit up AmyWinehouse.com.)

Rihanna Canceled a Show in Sweden Because She Has the Flu:

RIHANNA has the flu. She was supposed to perform Monday in Sweden . . . but instead she was at a Swedish hospital, hooked up to an I.V. (--She even posted a picture of the I.V. on Twitter. Here's the link.) --She also apologized to fans . . . saying, quote, "It would have been a great time . . . so much better than being sick with the flu, ugh! I'm really disappointed I couldn't be there." (--She has another gig in Sweden tonight. For now, it's still a go.)

Justin Bieber Has Reached Two Billion Views on YouTube:

Over the past year or so, JUSTIN BIEBER, LADY GAGA and EMINEM have been competing against each other for Internet dominance. --Currently, they each have a kingdom: Eminem has the most Facebook likes . . . Lady Gaga has the most Twitter followers . . . and Justin Bieber has the most YouTube views. --In fact, Justin just became the first person to surpass TWO BILLION VIEWS on YouTube. (--Last October, Lady Gaga became the first to pass one billion views.) --The teenage heat for Justin's Christmas album "Under the Mistletoe" . . . which came out TODAY . . . caused a spike in his YouTube views. GossipCop.com says he had 94 million views in October alone.

Wanna See Britney Spears Give Joe Jonas a Pole Dance Onstage?

Now that JOE JONAS has jumped aboard BRITNEY SPEARS' tour, it was only a matter of time before she brought him onstage for one of her pole dance routines. Well, it happened during her show in London on Sunday night. (--You can find some decent videos of this on YouTube. Here's a link to the whole thing . . . and here's a shorter video with a close-up on Joe.)

Piers Morgan Says He Works Out to 50 Cent's "In Da Club":

50 CENT was on "Piers Morgan Tonight" last night, and Piers admitted that he listens to 50's song "In Da Club" when he works out. --He said, quote, "No one is going to believe me when I say this . . . but I work out to ['In Da Club']. Literally, it's on my iPod. It's the top of my gym collection. And it never fails to get me going. It's one of the great workout songs ever." --50 responded, quote, "[It's] the old reliable. If I can't move the crowd, [I] put it on . . . [but] the problem with that kind of song is you've got to create something that's equivalent to it." --He also said that he used the "it's your birthday" lyric in the song because, quote, "every day is someone's birthday, so it's relevant all over again." --50 also talked about selling drugs back in the day . . . but he added that he never used them himself, and he no longer drinks alcohol. --He explained, quote, "I got a chance to watch a lot of my mother's sisters and brothers at different periods experiment with the use of drugs or alcohol and I see them respond so differently that I stay away. --"I've had an experience [with alcohol] that made me paranoid because of it and I stayed away from it following that." (--Here's the clip of 50 talking about not doing drugs.)


Showbiz Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Here's what happened yesterday in CONRAD MURRAY'S manslaughter trial. (Full Story)

ELLEN DEGENERES and PORTIA DE ROSSI are partnering with CHRISSIE HYNDE of the PRETENDERS to open a vegan restaurant in California's San Fernando Valley. (Full Story)

Halloween may be over, but here's a video compilation of FAKE scares from horror movies that you may enjoy. (Video)

BILL PAXTON is going to direct a movie version of the classic '70s DAVID CARRADINE TV series "Kung Fu". Paxton previously directed a really good horror flick called "Frailty", the golf drama "The Greatest Game Ever Played" and the music video for the song "Fish Heads" . . . in which he also appears. (Full Story)

The one-year anniversary of "Conan's" debut on TBS is next week . . . and to celebrate, check out this video montage of Year One that Conan posted on YouTube. It's pretty cool. (Video)


Four Myths About Black Friday, Debunked:

Halloween is OVER. We're now focused on Thanksgiving. And we're only 24 days away from the day after Thanksgiving . . . better known as BLACK FRIDAY.

--The website DealNews.com posted a list debunking some of the biggest Black Friday myths . . . here are four of our favorites.

#1.) Myth: Black Friday is the busiest shopping day of the year. It's not. The Saturday before Christmas is always the busiest day. This year, that's December 24th. Only 35% of people actually go shopping on Black Friday.

#2.) Myth: You have to camp out in front of a store to get the best deals. Yeah, maybe to get a few of the most ridiculous deals you have to camp out. But every year, more and more stores offer their Black Friday sales online as well.

#3.) Myth: Black Friday is the best day to get a new TV. Most of the time, you're better off waiting until December . . . when brands unveil their new 2012 TV models and the old ones get a bigger discount.

#4.) Myth: If you're going to shop online, wait for Cyber Monday. Since most retailers are offering their best Black Friday deals online, waiting a few days until "Cyber Monday" will probably just leave you with the scraps.

Half of Americans Went Over Their Holiday Budget Last Year . . . and One in 16 Still Haven't Paid Off Last Year's Holiday Bills:

Consumer Reports conducted their annual Holiday Shopping Poll. Like most of the polls this year, a large number of people said they planned to spend less than last holiday season. --Half of them said they planned to make a budget this year to make sure they don't overspend. Of course, nearly half of the people who said they had a budget last year ended up going over it. --The average budget last year was $457, and the average amount people who budgeted actually spent was $556 . . . or 22% more than they'd planned. One in 20 people said they went over their budget by "a lot." --This year's poll was actually conducted two weeks ago. As of mid-October, three in four Americans said they hadn't started their holiday shopping yet. --Half of all Americans used a credit card to pay for some or all of their holiday purchases last year, which was 6% higher than the previous year. --One in 16 people STILL have unpaid debt from LAST year's holiday shopping. That works out to about 14.1 million people. (PR Newswire)
The World's Seven Billionth Baby was Born Yesterday . . . and at Least Five Countries are Claiming It was Theirs:

According to the United Nations' best population estimates, the world's SEVEN BILLIONTH BABY was born yesterday. But here's the problem. They didn't say WHERE that baby would be born . . . so now EVERYONE'S claiming it.

--Let's take a trip around the world to see various babies who've been pegged by their home countries as the world's seven billionth . . .

--The Philippines. Camille and Florante Camacho had their baby, Danica May Canacho, yesterday in a hospital in Manila. When she was born, a celebration was ready including a cake declaring her the seven billionth baby.

--England. A baby named Peter Bashir Yansaneh was born at St. Thomas' Hospital in London yesterday, and was presented with a teddy bear by a member of parliament for being the seven billionth person.

--India. India has the second-most people in the world, so statistically they SHOULD have a good shot. A baby only known as Nargis was born there yesterday, and a government official declared her the seven billionth.

--United States. At Avista Adventist Hospital in Louisville, Colorado, a 38-year-old woman named Miran Cin gave birth to a baby. She hasn't picked a name yet, but apparently the baby is also getting attention as potentially the seven billionth.

--Russia. In Kaliningrad, Russia, a baby named Peter Nikolaev was born at 12:02 A.M. His mother was given a certificate in the hospital declaring Peter the seven billionth baby. (Daily Mail)

Here's the Average Number of Friends You'll Have at Different Ages:

We've got the results from a new survey on the number of friends people have at different ages. And by "friends" we're actually talking about people you spend time with and talk to . . . NOT Facebook friends who you might've met once in 2005. --According to the survey, people peak with their most friends at age 21 . . . that's when the average person has 99 FRIENDS. Of those, 13 are best friends, 17 are close friends, and the rest are acquaintances. --That number drops to an average of 68 friends at age 29 . . . 63 friends at age 39 . . . 43 friends at age 49 . . . and 41 friends at age 55. --The survey also found that the average person has 18 close friends who stay consistent throughout their lives . . . and that men have about twice as many close friends as women.--It also found the average person currently has 208 Facebook friends . . . about 25% of people say their partner is their best friend . . . 20% of people say their mom is their best friend . . . and 14% of people say a sibling is their best friend. (Daily Mail)

The Age When You're Most Content With Your Life is . . . 38:

Depending on your age, this is either going to make you really optimistic that the best is yet to come . . . or really depressed that it's all downhill from here. --According to a new survey, the age when people feel the MOST CONTENT with their lives is . . . 38. --In your mid-to-late 30s you feel the most confident, the most successful, and the most socially satisfied. -That number changes a little depending on your marital status. Married people feel most content at age 42 . . . single people feel the most content at 27. --The survey also found that TWICE as many people say that MONEY is MORE IMPORTANT to them than friends. --The majority of people also say that they wouldn't swap lives with one of their friends. (Sky News)

Believe it or Not, Happy People Live 35% Longer Than Sad People:

SHOCKING NEWS! Being depressed and sad all the time is worse for you than being upbeat and happy. I know, right? Really makes you think. --There's a new study in a journal called "Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences". They found that people who have the happiest lives live about 35% longer than people who have the saddest lives. --They think happiness extends your life because it spills over into things like better marriages, more spirituality, and more optimism on health problems. All of those are thought to help people live longer. (USA Today)

People Hate the Sound of Construction and Loud Music . . . In Fact, the Only Neighborhood Noise They Like is the Sound of Other People Doin' It:

This survey comes out of Sweden, but we're guessing it applies nicely over here too. The survey focused on people's tweets and Facebook messages where they talked about noise in their neighborhoods, to see what bothered them most. --They found that people complain the most about LOUD MUSIC and CONSTRUCTION. In fact, people complained about virtually EVERY noise in their neighborhood. There was only one noise that got more positive than negative posts. --And that is . . . the sound of the neighbors GETTING-IT-ON. 15% of tweets and status updates about neighbors were about them doin' it . . . and that was the only category where the majority of the posts were positive. (The Local)

(R) Mozart Fights Colon Cancer?

--According to a study from the University of Texas Health Science Center in Houston, your doctor has the same problem. They found that during the average colonoscopy, a doctor will only spot about 21.25% of your pre-cancerous polyps. --Fortunately, the study ALSO figured out a way for them to focus. While they examine the dark, treacherous details of your most dirty passageway . . . it's best if they do it to the sound of beautiful classical music. --The study found that when doctors listened to MOZART during colonoscopies, it TRIPLED their rate of polyp detection, up to 66.7%. --This is more proof of the so-called "Mozart Effect." Lots of studies have found classical music causes a short-term improvement of mental power and concentration. Although this is the first to link the Mozart Effect to cancer detection. (ABC News)

Almost Two-Thirds of Americans Say They Couldn't Run for Office Because of "Past Decisions":

If you ever wanted proof that there's nothing but DEVIANTS running around this country, here you go. --"60 Minutes" and "Vanity Fair" asked Americans if they could run for public office given their past decisions. And almost TWO-THIRDS, 62%, said . . . NOPE. They've got skeletons in their closet that would make it impossible. --36% of people surveyed said they've got a clean enough background that they could run for public office. --Women were MORE likely to be worried about their skeletons coming out than men . . . 66% of women say they've got something in their past that would keep them from running for office versus 58% of men. (CBS News)

Stupid Photo of the Day . . . a Dog Dressed as a Chia Pet:

We thought we were over stupid pet Halloween costumes. And then this happened. We discovered a Boston terrier dressed as a CHIA PET. And this dog has now won Halloween. (--Check it out here.)

Drivers Say Their Biggest Distraction Behind the Wheel is . . . Their Children:

This survey was conducted in the UK, but we'd probably see similar results here in the States. --Forget about cell phones, the biggest distraction for drivers is . . . their children arguing in the backseat. --A British driving school surveyed people on distractions when they're behind the wheel, and one in three said that their kids' disputes are the biggest problem. --The next biggest distraction is dealing with comments from backseat drivers. One in four drivers complained about that. --As you might expect, drivers in the prime parent age of 35-to-44 years old are most likely to complain about their kids. Drivers under age 24 and over age 55 are more bothered by backseat drivers. --Cell phones were the third biggest distraction, with only one in five people saying they're distracted by calls and texts. --One in eight drivers say that loud music distracts them, and one in 25 say that passengers smoking is a distraction. (PR Newswire)
Here are the Four Secrets to Kicking Down a Door:

Every TV cop show in history features people who kick down doors. Kicking down doors looks like a lot of fun. And we want you to be prepared if you ever have to kick one down in real life. --We've got this list of the four secrets of properly kicking down a door. So whether it's to save a baby, to catch an evil criminal inside, or you simply forgot your keys . . . this is your guide.

#1.) Check the hinges. If the door opens toward you, it's going to be virtually impossible to kick it in. You'll need to use an ax to break it down instead.

#2.) Kick near the lock. You want to kick the door on the side where the lock is mounted, and aim next to the keyhole. That's where the door is the weakest.

#3.) Use a front kick, and drive your heel into the door. Drive the heel of your standing foot into the ground for balance, and kick the door with your heel. Don't kick the lock itself, that could break your foot. And if the wood splinters, kick again.

#4.) Avoid jump kicks. Jump kicks and roundhouse kicks LOOK more dramatic, but they're far less effective. You lose stability and power, and increase your chance of hurting yourself. (The Consumerist)

A Canadian Politician Wants to Drop the Beaver as Their National Symbol:

It's good to see that American politicians aren't the only ones who get attention by railing against ridiculous non-issues. --Nicole Eaton is a senator in Canada, and her new political cause is to declare war on the beaver. --Nicole thinks that the beaver isn't a majestic enough animal to be the national symbol of Canada. She calls it, quote, "a dentally defective rat." --She took time out of the Canadian Senate session last Thursday to make her case. Nicole justified her anti-beaver platform by describing the damage a group of them did to the dock at her waterfront summer cottage. --What would be a better symbol for the country? Nicole suggested the polar bear. She said the polar bear, quote, "with its strength, courage, resourcefulness and dignity is perfect for the part." --As usually happens with inane debates, Nicole's recommendation stirred up emotions, and protesters appeared. --Keith Stewart of Greenpeace Canada said that the polar bear could be extinct soon unless Nicole and the rest of the senate do something to help prevent climate change. (Newsfeed.time.com)


Random News Extras . . . Random Links to Additional Stories:

Whether you gave out candy last night, or you got candy, you know there's a candy hierarchy. And here it is: The top tier includes Milky Way, Rolos, Twix, and Peanut Butter Cups. The next tier has Hershey's Kisses, M&Ms, and Kit Kats. Then there's Butterfinger, Baby Ruth, and Nestle Crunch . . . and so on. Okay, this list sucks. (Full Story)

Wanna see a gallery of slutty Halloween costumes? Stupid question. (Full Story)

According to a new survey, professional women are increasingly choosing free time over more money. (Full Story)

#1.) A Reporter Did a Live Report from a Haunted House . . . and Got So Scared, She Fell on the Ground and Started Laughing:

A reporter in Detroit named Kimberly Craig was reporting from a haunted house over the weekend. And she got so scared, she fell to the ground and started laughing. --It started with Kimberly interviewing one of the owners. Then a group of zombies surrounded her, so she started backing up. And when she turned around, a huge blast of compressed air came out of the wall. --Apparently her camera guys were in on it. Because after she got back up, she started joking that they'd both be replaced. (--Search for "Halloween House Threw Reporter on the Ground." The blast of air happens at :56.)

#2.) A Guy Proposed to His Girlfriend . . . and She Immediately Fainted:

When a guy proposes to his girlfriend, he obviously wants a good reaction. But there's a video on YouTube where a guy's proposal literally knocks his girlfriend off her feet. And he even didn't have to do much. -First, he blindfolded her and brought her to a park where her whole family was waiting. Then when he got down on one knee, she immediately FAINTED. And she didn't just crumble to the ground. She fell straight backward. --Then when she regained consciousness, she said yes. (--Search for "Girl Faints from Romantic Marriage Proposal." She faints at 1:27.)

#3.) Two Soccer Players in Iran Were Suspended for Grabbing Their Teammates' Backsides While They Were Celebrating:

Two soccer players in Iran have been suspended indefinitely for a, quote, "immoral" celebration during a match on Saturday. Apparently grabbing another guy's butt for a split second counts as "immoral" over there. --There's video of one of them doing it, and it kind of looks accidental. Although, it also looks like there's some incidental POKING going on. And the guy getting grabbed immediately tries to knock the other guy's hand away. (--Search for "Funny Iran Football Moments Butt Grabbing." It happens at :13.)

#4.) A Soccer Fan in Romania Ran on the Field and Punched a Player in the Head:

A soccer fan ran on the field and PUNCHED a player during a match in Romania on Sunday. The guy calmly jogged across the field and blindsided him with a right hook. --Then the player's teammates went after the guy, and one of them got a pretty good kick in while he was on the ground. (--Search for "George Glamaz Attacked by Man on Field." it happens at :14.)

Six Bad Things for Your Career . . . That Are Actually Good:

If you're looking for a raise, and think you're doing everything you can to get one, think again. Here are six things that SOUND BAD for your career . . . but might actually be GOOD for it.

#1.) Being a Jerk. According to a survey by Notre Dame and the University of Western Ontario, people who rated themselves as being "more disagreeable" than their coworkers made an average of $9,772 more per year. --And for another part of the study, they asked over 450 students to hire someone from a list of fake job candidates. And the ones described as "more agreeable" were less likely to get the job . . . even if they were equally qualified.

#2.) Being Sexist. Between 1979 and 2005, the Bureau of Labor Statistics interviewed nearly 13,000 men and women about their views on gender roles. --And the men with more TRADITIONAL attitudes about women in the workforce made an average of $12,000 more a year. --The researchers concluded that if a man thinks his wife should be at home with the kids, he's more driven to make as much money as possible . . . because he wants to be the sole bread-winner.

#3.) Growing a Mustache. A lot of companies discourage facial hair. But according to a survey in conjunction with the American Mustache Institute . . . which really does exist . . . men with mustaches make 4.3% more than clean-shaven guys. --And they make 8.2% more than guys with beards.
#4.) Gaining Weight . . . but Only If You're a Man. This year, a study in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that men who are 25 pounds below the average weight end up making about $8,500 LESS per year. -And the study also found that on average, the more a man weighs, the more he makes. --Meanwhile . . . and not surprisingly . . . women make more if they weigh LESS. Women who weigh 25 pounds BELOW average make over $15,000 more than women of average weight.

#5.) Being Less Attractive . . . but Only If You're a Woman. It seems like being attractive would always be good for your career. And that's usually true for men. --But one study found that "plain" looking women were more likely to get a job than attractive women . . . simply because they had to go through human resources, and the person who interviewed them FIRST was usually a young, single woman. --So in other words, being sexy didn't matter in their first interview . . . and probably even put them at a disadvantage.

#6.) Going Out. Obviously, there's a limit. But according to the Journal of Labor Research, social drinkers earn 7% more than non-drinkers. And people who go to bars on a regular basis make 10 to 14% more. (Cracked.com)

************* DOOOO NOTTT BLOGGG!! ***************

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Countdown to Upcoming Events
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